Author's Notes:

Inspired by another recent fanfic based on "Backwarder".

Enjoy!

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG: "KITTY LITTER"

by Mythril Moth

Kwami Poop

Marinette studied Tikki with a bored expression on her face, head propped up on one hand while she idly doodled circles in her diary. Tikki had just inhaled an entire chocolate chip walnut cookie and was halfway through another. Marinette pursed her lips as a stray thought passed through her bored mind.

"Hey, Tikki? Do you poop?"

Tikki coughed up crumbs. "What?!"

"I just realized, I've never seen you poop," Marinette said.

Tikki made a disgusted face. "Well of course not!" she said incredulously. "Do you go around pooping in front of other people?"

"Of course not!" Marinette exclaimed. "It's just—" Her nose wrinkled. "I mean, you never say 'I need to go to the bathroom' or anything like that, so—"

Tikki rolled her eyes. "Yes, Marinette, I poop."

"But when? Where? How? I mean—"

"Why the sudden interest in my poop?" Tikki asked, pulling a face.

"I don't know!" Marinette said. "It's just, I'm watching you put away five times your body weight in cookies, and it occurs to me I've never seen anything come out of you, so...you know?"

Tikki pulled her cheeks wide and stuck out her tongue. "That's disgusting, Marinette," she said.

"Isn't this the kind of thing I need to know, though?" Marinette pressed. "In case you ever need medicine like Master Fu?"

Tikki rolled her eyes. "Alright, alright," she said. "I poop in potted plants and flower beds." She gestured up to the ceiling. "Usually the ones up on the terrace. It helps the flowers grow big and pretty!"

Marinette's jaw dropped. Her face turned faintly green. "Eww! TIKKI! I dig around in that dirt with my bare hands!"

Tikki shrugged. "Yeah, so? Most plant food is exactly the same thing as my poop, just not as healthy for the plants."

Marinette froze, contemplating that. "Ah..." She sagged. "Wow. I never actually thought about that." She looked down at her slender fingers and perfect pink nails. "I need some gardening gloves."

Tikki rolled her eyes. "Your fault for asking," she said, popping the last of her cookie in her mouth.

A long silence passed.

"I bet Plagg uses a litter box," Marinette mused.

Tikki snorted. "I doubt it," she said.

"Why, because it's beneath his dignity?"

"Not exactly..."

Gabriel Agreste and Nathalie Sancoeur stood in the garden of Agreste Manor, staring at a diseased, blackened, dead mess that used to be a prized rosebush.

"It has to be the soil," Gabriel muttered. "Something has to be wrong with this patch of soil. Perhaps parasites or—"

"I've had five different experts examine it," Nathalie said. "The soil is healthy and free of parasites. The nutrient richness is perhaps not up to the highest standards, but there is no biological reason for...this."

"Roses do not poison themselves, Nathalie," Gabriel said tightly.

"Of course they don't, sir."

"How is it every single rosebush I plant in this one spot keeps dying?!" Gabriel snarled. "It makes no sense! I—" He paused as a violet flash of light glowed from behind his ascot. He grimaced. "Deal with this," he snapped. "I have urgent business."

"Of course, sir," Nathalie said primly as Gabriel stalked off.

Tucked away out of sight in Gabriel's pocket, Nooroo smirked. He'd long since figured out why that one rosebush kept dying. It was practically a calling card. Fortunately, he was magically bound to protect certain information from his master...

Gabriel ascended into his lair, untying his ascot and pulling it aside. "Nooroo, Dark Wi—"

"Just a moment, Master," Nooroo interrupted. Gabriel glared at him, but relented when Nooroo held up a small paw and hunched over, eyes closed. He grunted for a moment.

A shining white butterfly squeezed itself out of Nooroo's behind, unfurling its wings and flying away to join its brethren in the cloister.

"Okay, you can transform now," Nooroo said with a small sigh of relief.

Gabriel shook his head, pinched the bridge of his nose, and transformed.

Miraculous Ladybug is the intellectual property of Zagtoon, Method Animation, Toei Animation, and Thomas ASTRUC. This intellectual property is used without permission with no intent to profit from said use. The unique content contained on this page is the property of Mythril Moth, and redistribution of this content without express permission is strongly discouraged.