LIMERENCE

By TanninTele

Disclaimer: All rights belong to J.K. Rowling, voiding that of original content and characters.

CHARACTERS

TOM: Well-dressed 30-something. He wears all black except for a blood-rose boutonnière on his lapel.

(Alias: Lord Voldemort)

HARRY: Nearly 23 years old. Disheveled and dressed in casual attire. His bottom lip is split and he has a bruise on his cheek. He is handcuffed in front of his body.

CRONIE 1 and 2: Nondescript employees of Tom, equally dressed in black.

CEDRIC: Mentioned, but not seen onstage. 25 years-old and your stereotypical 'hero' figure.

(Alias: The Honey Badger)

SETTING

A dark room is furnished with a table and two chairs. The tablecloth is a dark red, contrasting the polished silver utensils and porcelain plates. A candlelight flickers beside a vase filled with a single red rose, giving off a romantic air. Peculiarly enough, the second chair - opposite of TOM - has straps on the armrests, as though it was previously used for interrogation purposes.

[TOM is alone in the room, nervously adjusting the plates. A CRASH is heard offstage. TOM fumbles in his pockets and removes a small remote, turning on a distant stereo. Soft music begins to play. Enter CRONIE 1 and 2, holding a struggling HARRY between them. HARRY has a dark bag over his head.]

CRONIE 1: Here's the brat, boss.

[They push HARRY into the open chair, hesitating at the sight of the dinner set-up.]

CRONIE 2: I don't mean to overstep, but - uh, might I ask [gesturing at the table] what's this?

TOM [evasive]: New torture tactic.

HARRY [mocking]: Oh, scary.

[CRONIE 1 tears off HARRY'S mask, grabbing his hair.]

CRONIE 1: Show some respect, you little -

TOM [stands abruptly]: Don't touch him! Don't . . . just go. You're dismissed.

[Exit CRONIE 1 and 2. TOM looks at HARRY's wounds. He frowns and dips a cloth napkin into his glass of water. He reaches toward HARRY, who flinches away. Persisting, TOM presses the cloth to HARRY'S bleeding lip.]

TOM [quiet]: I'm very sorry about them. They weren't supposed to harm you, just . . . provide transportation.

HARRY: If you call shoving me into a trunk and casually stealing me away to the middle of nowhere 'transportation', then they did their job very well.

TOM: Yes, well. I didn't hire them for their people skills.

HARRY [pulls away]: Let's not talk about your work, okay? Let's just . . . Is that spaghetti?

TOM: It is. I thought it'd be . . . uh, romantic.

HARRY: Have you been watching The Lady and the Tramp lately?

TOM: Of course not.

HARRY [dubious]: Uh-huh. Did you use Ragu or Prego? I only eat -

TOM: Prego. I know.

HARRY: How did you . . . ?

TOM: I had someone trail you last week at the grocer's. Finally slip away from the ball and chain, huh?

HARRY: I'd comment on how creepy your stalking is, except I'm dreadfully hungry. Remove the handcuffs?

[HARRY lifts his hands hopefully, revealing a pair of silver cuffs on his wrists.]

TOM: Last time I did, you tried to stab me with a fork.

HARRY: You deserved it!

TOM: For what? We were having a very pleasant dinner date -

HARRY: It wasn't pleasant on my end. You kidnapped me and tied me to a chair.

TOM: Well, you're not tied down now.

HARRY [muttering]: And such a relief that is.

TOM: By our tenth date, maybe you'll trust me enough not to try and stab me. Then I'll remove the handcuffs.

HARRY: This isn't a date. We're not dating. I have a boyfriend.

TOM: Not for long. [HARRY opens his mouth to speak, but TOM speaks over him.] Regardless, it's just spoons now. No sharp objects - except for my wit, of course.

HARRY: How am I going to eat spaghetti with a spoon?

TOM [smirks]: You'll find a way.

[HARRY ponders this for a long moment, before burying his hands into the spaghetti. He begins to eat with his fingers. TOM looks horrified.]

TOM: That's just disgusting.

[HARRY grins, sauce on his face. TOM tentatively begins his meal.]

TOM: Sometimes I wonder what about you I find attractive.

HARRY: I wonder that too. Cedric thinks you're simply jealous of him, that I'm a sort of - [he swallows] . . . prize to be won.

TOM [scoffs]: Jealous? Me?

HARRY: Well, what's not to be jealous of? After all, he's powerful and kind and handsome -

[HARRY is purposely egging TOM on]

TOM: Yes, yes. I'm well aware of our differences - but I excel in many ways he does not. [TOM smiles teasingly.] Making a mean spaghetti, for one.

HARRY: Well, I never say no to a free meal; even if it has been cooked by a presumptuous, malevolent and villainous creep.

TOM [sarcastic]: Ooh - name calling. I'm wounded, really.

HARRY: It's always the sarcasm with you. Can't you just own up to your actions?

TOM: I thought you didn't want to talk about my work.

HARRY [wipes his face and fingers onto a napkin, pushing away his plate]: No use dodging around the subject now, I suppose. Let me make it clear; [points an accusing finger] You are a murderous despot with delusions of grandeur, a superiority complex - and, generally, a great nuisance to myself. I could have lived a very happy life with Cedric if you hadn't come crashing in, intent on repeatedly kidnapping me and threatening my boyfriend's life -

TOM: Trying to kill your boyfriend is my job. I certainly didn't intend on growing . . . affections for you. Besides, are you really even happy with Cedric? From what I've heard, all you do is fight.

HARRY: From what you've - have you wiretapped my apartment ?

TOM [hurries to assure]: Only the living room, I promise. I'm not that perverted. [PAUSE, then slyly] Though Cedric hasn't graced your bed in a while, I've noticed.

HARRY: He's . . . very busy fighting crime and all that. Not to mention foiling your 'dastardly plans'.

TOM: Is that what he's been telling you? I haven't done anything in quite a while. I've been a bit preoccupied with more important things, like - [averts eyes] Well, you.

HARRY [flustered]: Honestly, all we ever fight about is you! I didn't even know he had superpowers until you crashed my best friend's wedding reception and demanded Cedric reveal himself at the expense of my life!

TOM: You struggled valiantly. It was quite arousing, really.

HARRY: You had me dangling over the side of a building with your telekinesis.

TOM: I had full control of the situation. You lived, did you not?

HARRY: Only because Cedric swooped in out of nowhere in a damned cape to tackle you to the floor!

TOM [complains]: I had bruises for weeks.

HARRY: And I was scarred for life.

[PAUSE]

HARRY: Cedric hasn't let me see my friends since. He lets me go out for groceries once a fortnight, but that isn't enough. [To himself] I just wanted to go for a damned walk.

TOM: I knew you'd come out of your cosy little ivory tower eventually.

HARRY: Yes, and the next thing I know, I'm being shoved against a wall and a bag is pulled over my head. I was terrified, Tom.

TOM: And then?

HARRY: Then I was taken back here. With you.

TOM [echoing]: With me.

[PAUSE]

TOM: He's not good enough for you. You don't deserve to be sequestered away like some sort of . . . possession. [TOM recognizes the hypocrisy of his words, and quickly changes the subject.] Does he even love you?

HARRY: . . . in his own way, I suppose. He protects me. He always comes for me, whenever you capture me.

TOM: He would do the same for any beautiful person to cross his path. He protects the whole city - what makes you special? [aside] Why do you make me care so much?

HARRY: I can't answer that.

[PAUSE]

HARRY: You - you aren't who I thought you were.

TOM [pleased, back straightening]: Quite so. You can't presume to know me simply from the vitriol your precious partner no doubt spews.

HARRY [trying to convince himself]: You aren't a good guy.

TOM: I don't deny that. Yes, I ambush wedding receptions in order to expose errant vigilantes. Yes, I may assassinate opponents in order to achieve my goals. And yes, I kidnap beautiful men from the streets in order to 'have my way with them'. Well, really only one man. [He sends HARRY a significant look.] But how is that any worse than your boyfriend's sins? He's killed too, in the name of his so-called 'justice'.

HARRY: Those were -

TOM: Bad guys, right? Criminals, vagabonds, petty thieves. But they had families too. They had lovers or spouses, siblings, parents and friends that grieved just the same as you would. They had people in their lives who, disregarding all their misdeeds, could probably say that 'they didn't deserve to die'.

HARRY [defensive]: And these political 'opponents' of yours? Did they deserve to die?

TOM: I had my own justifications. You know, I could do a hell of a lot worse, Harry. I have power. I have clout. I could rule the world.

HARRY: [genuinely curious]: Then why don't you?

TOM [sending a long look at HARRY]: That . . . isn't my goal anymore.

HARRY: Then what is ?

TOM: . . . you of course. Having you.

HARRY [jolts in his seat with righteous anger]: You can't have people! I'm not a possession.

TOM: No. You're not. But I will have you. To love, not to toy with. To hold, not to hide away. To free - not to possess. I'd much rather have you willingly.

HARRY: And once you have me? Will you grow bored once the chase is over? Will I live in constant fear of the day you no longer care?

TOM [sighs]: Harry, I have telekinesis; I can't see into the future. However, from experience, when I do make myself vulnerable to love . . . I love completely. I love irrevocably and obsessively. It's a dangerous game, but a far safer choice than remaining with your current lover. How can you be assured that Cedric won't leave you? Would you rather take the chance with someone like him, who you can't say say with absolute certainty loves you . . . or myself; a man who would do anything to prove to you that he does?

[A CRASH is heard offstage. HARRY and TOM sit up, HARRY subtly wiping his cheeks. CRONIE 1 enters in a hurry.]

CRONIE 1: He's arrived, boss . . . and he's wearing the cape.

[TOM laughs mockingly. HARRY narrows his eyes, noticing how TOM shifts easily from vulnerability to a smooth-talking villain. TOM's voice is suddenly cold.]

TOM: Seems lover boy somehow found the time for a wardrobe change. For all he knew, you could've been dead or bleeding - but he decided to play dress-up first.

HARRY [quiet]: At least he came at all.

TOM: Did you doubt he would? Ridiculous man has a martyr complex - though it comes second to his metrosexuality, apparently.

[Another CRASH is heard. The CRONIE dashes off, pulling out his gun.]

TOM: I'm afraid I must take my leave. The key to your cuffs is in the vase. [TOM makes to stand.]

HARRY [jolting up suddenly]: What now, then? You're just . . . leaving?

[There's a long PAUSE. TOM reaches over to stroke HARRY's cheek. HARRY's breath catches loudly.]

TOM [smiling sadly]: Yes, unfortunately. But if you change your mind about the boyfriend, I'll know where to find you.

[The lights suddenly flicker out, as if the power was cut. Only the candle remains, though it is quickly snuffed out.]

TOM [quiet, but foreboding]: I always do.

END SCENE