Disclaimer-Passions and the song aren't mine

"Blah" are lyrics

Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

"Let me guess," Rebecca said. "David exposed you and Sam threw you out of the house."

"Yeah," Ivy replied. They were standing in the street. "And let me guess. You didn't, ahem, perform as well as Julian thought you could, so he threw you out."

"Yeah, he's still chasing after Eve," Rebecca said.

"So we've both been spurned by our lovers," Ivy said. "Love sucks."

"Yeah, it's SOO overrated," Rebecca said. "The French are glad to die for love. They delight in fighting duels."

Ivy nodded. "But I prefer a man who lives and gives expensive jewels!"

Rebecca grinned. "A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but diamonds are a…"

"Girl's best friend!" Ivy joined in.

"A kiss may be grand, but it…"

"Wow!" Ivy said sarcastically.

"…won't pay the rental on your humble flat."

A stray cat wondered by. "Or help you feed your pussycat," Ivy said.

Rebecca ran a hand along the wrinkles on her face. "Men grow cold as girls grow old, and we all lose our charms in the end."

Ivy fingered her diamond ring. "But square-cut or pear-shaped, these rocks don't lose their shape! Diamonds are a girl's best friend!"

Ivy and Rebecca walked past a shop with designer dresses in the front window. Rebecca pressed her face into the mirror and stared at the beautiful clothes. Ivy shook her head. "'Cause we are living in a material world…"

"…and I am a material girl!" Rebecca sang, grinning.

Rebecca and Ivy headed towards the Crane mansion. Staring past the iron gate, they could see Theresa yelling at Ethan. Gwen was clinging to Ethan's arm while Fox stood behind Theresa, looking amused.

Ivy shook her head. "There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer…"

"But diamonds are a girl's best friend," Rebecca said, nodding in agreement.

Julian stepped onto the threshold, and said something like, "And what is my wife and vice-president arguing about with Ivy's son?"

Ivy rolled her eyes. "There may come a time when a hard-boiled employer thinks you're awful nice…"

Theresa had had it. She was so far gone, it didn't matter what they were arguing about. "That's IT!" she screamed. "I'm sick of you and your selfish ways, Julian, and I'm sick of Ethan hurting me! I'm leaving this mansion! Tonight!" Theresa turned and went into the house, slamming the door, leaving Julian on the steps, confused.

"…but get that ice, or else no dice," Ivy finished.

Rebecca almost looked piteously at the house as the two walked away. "He's your guy when stocks are high, but beware when they start to descend!"

"Diamonds are a girl's best…" Ivy sang.

"Diamonds are a girl's best…" Rebecca sang.

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend!" they chorused.

Ivy and Rebecca stopped in front of Sam and Grace's house, where they could see the Bennetts talking in the living room through the window. Ivy scoffed, disgusted. "'Cause that's when the louses go back to their spouses!"

"Diamonds…" Rebecca sang.

"…are a…" Ivy sang.

"…girl's…"

"…best…"

Suddenly, they were aware of the pedestrians staring at them like they were crazy.

"…friend," they finished up quietly.

"Hey, you ain't a half-bad singer," Ivy said.

"Thanks, Ivy. Now, let's go see if we can go sue Julian for assaulting me. His word against ours. And you know his record…"

"Sounds good," Ivy said, as she pressed towards the police station with her real best friend.

Well, you like? I'm on a Moulin Rouge kick right now. Can I help it if it's the greatest movie of all time?

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