Deep breaths.

That's what Craig said to do when an anxiety attack comes.

Deep breaths.

Tweek inhaled sharply and let out a shaky breath. Not quite how it was meant to be done. He was pacing on the sidewalk outside of Craig's house, still in his PJs and without a jacket. It was just past 3am; the stars twinkled down at him and seemed to shimmer because of the tears in his eyes. He blinked furiously, striding back and forth, determined to quiet the rushing thoughts that overwhelmed him and threatened to push him into a full blown panic attack.

The tears didn't dissipate but spilled down his face, wetting his cheeks. His hands were no longer twitching and instead were shaking constantly. It was no good. If he didn't find a way to calm down, he was going to become lost in the abyss of anxiety.

'Damn it…'

Tweek walked up to the house and crouched down, lifting up a plant pot by the door. He retrieved the silver key underneath and slipped it into the lock to let himself in. He made his way to the stairs but stopped at the bottom. The TV in the living room was on, playing a commentary for some sports show. Craig's father sat in the dark regarding him carefully, the remote in his hand. Tweek became intensely aware of his own movements – every twitch, tremor, and shaky breath. How did he explain letting himself into their house in the middle of the night on the verge of a meltdown? He was sure Craig's parents were aware of his late-night visits, but he'd never been caught before.

Craig's father stared at him in silence for what seemed like an eternity with the faint chatter of the television in the background. Tweek just stood there, one foot of the stairs, wide-eyed like a deer caught in the road. With a long sigh Craig's dad turned to stare at the TV again.

'If his mother asks, I didn't see ya,' he said quietly.

He wanted to say thank you, but he couldn't speak. He had a lump in his throat from his anxiety and getting caught sneaking in was enough to make his heart stop. Instead Tweek just made his way up the stairs, dodging the step that he knew would creak with expert practice.

He let himself into Craig's room, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. Somewhere in the darkness on the other side of the room was Craig. He stumbled towards the bed, wiping the tears from his face with his sleeve. With outstretched hands he felt the soft lump under the covers that was his boyfriend and started to shake him awake.

'Hmph? Oh, hi Tweek.'

Craig groaned and stretched to turn on the bedside lamp.

'What is it babe?' he mumbled, rubbing his face.

Tweek took a deep breath – the first deep breath he'd managed since he felt the onset of his anxiety – and spoke in one long gush.

'I was just thinking about stuff and then everything kind of went crazy like you know today when Clyde sat between us –gah!- do you think he was trying to really get between us and then I thought why would he want to do that unless he doesn't like that we are dating, and what if other people feel –agh!- feel the same and don't you feel like people stare at us when we hold hands, they're judging us-'

'Uh huh…'

'And I know you'll think it's stupid but I was thinking, d-do you think other guinea pigs in the pet store get mad at us for not buying them every time we go in like what if they see us b-buying food and they know that we have a guinea pig and they're jealous like WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK ME and if they secretly hate us-'

'Right…'

Tweek trailed off. He'd been talking without breathing, his voice on the verge of becoming shrill and loud enough to wake Craig's mother if he wasn't careful. Craig still had his eyes shut and he wasn't helping. Why wasn't he helping?

Tweek gritted his teeth in frustration.

'Babe,' Craig sighed. 'Clyde doesn't hate us. The kids at school don't hate us. Guinea pigs don't hate us. Nobody hates us, okay? So go back to sleep.'

There it was again, that logic to try and defuse the situation, the logic Craig was so good at but didn't actually make Tweek feel better. He knew why Craig wasn't trying to help. Right now, Tweek was just being a nuisance. If he kept coming over like this and waking him up, then Craig was going to care less and less each time, and eventually…

'R-right. Sorry.'

Tweek turned away before more tears trailed down his cheeks, and headed for the door. Eventually Craig wouldn't want him around anymore.

'Hey, where're you going?' Craig half mumbled, leaning up to peer at him.

'Back to bed like you said,' Tweek replied meekly, trying to keep his voice from shaking. But the tremor in his voice betrayed him, and he knew Craig could tell he was crying.

'I said go back to sleep, not go back to bed,' he said, and Tweek turned to see him pulling back his covers. 'Come here.'

Tweek shook his head. 'It's okay. I'll go home.'

'Babe, shut up and come here.'

He didn't want to make Craig more frustrated with him, so he obeyed and crawled onto the bed.

'What, you sleep with your shoes on?' Craig scolded, leaning to pull off his shoes and socks.

'S-sorry, Craig.'

Craig turned off the lamp and threw the covers over them both, then looped his arms around Tweek, pulling him close. His body was warm and soft and calming. Tweek rested his head against Craig's chest, sniffling quietly.

After a few more moments he heard Craig sigh.

'You're thinking too loud,' he murmured against Tweek's hair. 'What is it now? Talk to me.'

He always knew.

How did he do that?

'You're going to get sick of me,' Tweek admitted, fresh tears forming in his eyes. 'If I keep doing this, you're going to get sick of me and not want me around anymore.'

'Wrong.'

'Not wrong,' Tweek whispered. He could feel his hands shaking as he gripped the back of Craig's shirt.

'Babe, no offense, but I knew you were crazy when we started dating. I was completely aware of what I was getting into.'

Tweek didn't have a reply to that, so he just focused on trying to stop his hands from trembling.

'You're going to get through this tonight,' Craig continued in his matter-of-fact tone that Tweek realised was calming to listen to. 'And you'll get through the next time, and the next time, as long as you keep coming to see me. And I won't get sick of you, okay? That's why I leave my key there for you.'

Tweek nodded against his chest, and shivered when Craig began to trace faint lines on the back of his neck with his fingertips.

'I can't stop thinking about stuff,' Tweek whimpered, worrying about school and friends and guinea pigs that might be holding grudges. Worrying that Craig was settling for a wreck of a boyfriend when Tweek thought he could do so much better. 'I don't know how.'

He felt Craig's smile against the top of his head.

'That's okay sweetie,' he said. 'I know how. And that's all you need.'

Tweek sniffed again and wiped his cheeks, waiting for Craig's miracle cure for his anxiety.

'Hmm, what should I talk to you about?' Craig said with a small yawn. 'Did you know that NASA just hosted an event to talk about other planets that might support extra-terrestrial life?'

'Really?'

Tweek nestled close to Craig in the dark, pleased when Craig tightened his grip to pull him closer.

'Yeah. There's thousands of exoplanets similar in size to Earth that also orbit a star, and that means they might be able to sustain life, just like our planet. There's a discussion coming up to talk about the different criteria those planets need to meet in order to cultivate natural life.'

Talking about space was something Craig was passionate about, and Tweek loved hearing the subtle rise and fall of his voice as he became more and more enthusiastic. He listened intently as Craig chattered on, speaking softly in the dark about space and science and the mysteries beyond our atmosphere. It took Tweek several minutes to realise that his hands had stopped shaking, his breathing had evened out, and the tears had stopped.

How did he do that?

'And did you know that one of the things they do from the space station is observe how the weather affects the ocean?'

'Like for boats and stuff?' Tweek mumbled, already feeling drowsy at the sweet whisper of Craig's voice.

'Like, they actually see the ecosystem of a reef and watch how it reacts to changes in environmental conditions.'

'Mmm.' He let his eyelids flutter closed. So comfy. So quiet.

He felt Craig's soft lips on his temple. It surprised him – he'd expected more space talk, but Craig kissed the top of his head, down to his cheek, and then placed the softest of kisses just on the corner of his mouth.

'And did you know,' he whispered against Tweek's lips, 'that I will never, ever get sick of you? And that nobody is judging you or hating you. Even guinea pigs.'

Tweek felt fuzzy and warm from the cuddles and kisses and soft whispers in the dark. Sleep was calling him now that his mind was finally quiet.

'Promise?' Tweek mumbled, nuzzling his face into the crook of Craig's neck.

'I promise. I love having you here. That's all you need to know in that whirlwind mind of yours right now. It's the only thing you need to think about.'

Tweek muttered something in reply but it was muffled and incoherent.

'I know, babe,' Craig said, weaving his fingers in Tweek's hair. 'I know.'

When Tweek next opened his eyes, the morning light was peeking in through a gap in the curtains. It was still early, but he definitely needed to head back. He gently pulled himself free from Craig's embrace and pouted at the loss of contact. Craig and the bed were both warm and soft and perfect, and the rest of the room felt cold and empty in comparison. He slipped on his socks and shoes and leaned down to kiss Craig. When he pulled back, Craig had his eyes open just a crack.

'Gotta go,' Tweek whispered. 'Thank you.'

'Any time,' Craig smiled. 'Love you, crazy boy.'

He rolled over and buried his face in the pillow.

'Love you, Super Craig.'

Tweek tiptoed down the stairs but when he reached the bottom he saw Craig's mother sifting through some envelopes in the hall. She glanced at Tweek then did a double take, scrutinising his tired expression and wrinkled PJs.

She opened her mouth to say something, stopped herself, then cleared her throat.

'If his father asks, I didn't see you,' she said, then disappeared down the hallway quickly. With a small smile Tweek let himself out, hiding the key back under the pot.

When he saw Craig in the cafeteria at lunch, there was no frustration or irritation about the night before. Just as promised, Craig was happy to see him. They sat together while Craig chattered on and on about NASA, and nobody else was aware that Craig was holding his hand under the table. Their fingers intertwined and Craig's thumb was drawing patterns on the back of Tweek's hand.

'Hey Tweek,' Clyde said, sipping his drink, 'how do you put up with all the space talk all the time?'

Tweek hid his smile behind his hand. There was no way Clyde could know that this very space talk was the one thing that calmed him and got him through the bad nights. Tweek could listen to Craig talk about science for the rest of his life, and he'd never get sick of it.

With that thought, Tweek understood. He knew – without doubt for the first time – that they could never, ever get sick of each other.