And disappointing.

"It's a book," Mallory said flatly.

And it was. Nothing but a novel, clearly antique, with a worn leather cover and yellowed pages.

"Not quite what I was expecting," said Nosedive, who was now considerably less smug. He carefully took it out of the box and tried to read the title. This proved difficult, though, as it was in French. "'Less Troys–' I don't even know how to pronounce that." Still slightly hopeful, he opened it and flipped through the brittle pages. He couldn't read any of the text, but none of it looked very interesting. In any case, it certainly didn't look like anything scandalous.

Uninterested now, Mallory took the box and studied the inside of it, absently running her fingers along the bottom.

"So, you think this is some kind of secret book about something... secret-y?" Nosedive asked hopefully.

Mallory glared at him. "It's just an old book," she said, "probably worth something."

"Man, that is so disappointing."

"I told you it was nothing."

"Well, who puts a book in a lockbox?"

"Apparently Duke. Are you happy now?"

Nosedive desperately flipped through the book again, but found nothing. "I just stole a book. And I can't even read it because it's in... foreign."

"Yeah, and I helped," Mallory said. "We can both feel stupid together. Let's just put it back."

Thoroughly disappointed, Nosedive put the book back in the box. Then they crept back into Duke's room and returned it to its place on the shelf.

"There. It's like it never even happened," Nosedive said, then started for the doors.

"Wait, what about locking it again?" Mallory pointed out.

Nosedive froze. He knew he'd forgotten something. "You think Duke'll notice?"

"Yeah, I would," said a smug voice. Startled, Nosedive and Mallory turned, and there was Duke seated on his couch, a wry smirk on his beak.

"How did– Where did–" Nosedive stammered. "You were– Then we–"

"We can explain," said Mallory. Nosedive just nodded.

"You snuck in here and stole my private property," said Duke.

"Technically," Nosedive replied, "we just borrowed it."

"Uh-uh. Can't use my line on me, kid."

"Wait, wait, wait, back up. How did you– We just saw you leave. Why are you here?"

"Yeah, I didn't really go anywhere," Duke said, getting up. "I knew somethin' was off." He casually leaned against his bookshelf, smug as ever. Mallory opted to just stare at the floor and say nothing. Nosedive, on the other hand, was more irritated than embarrassed.

"Was it something she said?" he asked, jabbing his thumb at Mallory. "It was, wasn't it?"

"Well," said Duke, "she did mention helpin' you with somethin', and you were so curious about my box. I just put two and two together. That, and the tomato juice was kinda strange."

Nosedive shot a look at Mallory. "Tomato–?"

She just held up her hand to silence him.

"So how'd ya like my secret?" Duke said, mainly to Nosedive.

"Why are you so crazy about a musty old book?" he said.

"It's an 1890 edition of Les Trois Mousquetaires – The Three Musketeers in its original French," Duke explained. "It's worth a lot of money. And it's one of my favorite books."

"Can you even read French?"

"Well, it's more of a collector's item, but yeah. C'est mon héritage, ya know."

"Say what?"

"Never mind."

"Why wouldn't you just tell me what was in there in the first place?"

"Like I said before, it's none of your business."

Nosedive scowled. He knew Duke was right, of course, but there was no way he was going to admit it.

"Now," said Duke, "I'm in a good mood, so start runnin'. I'll give you a head start."

Nosedive looked at him quizzically.

"You like your beak on your face or not?"

With that, Nosedive chuckled nervously, then promptly turned and ran.

"Wonder how far he'll get before he realizes I'm not comin'," Duke remarked once he was gone.

"So you're not mad?" Mallory asked quietly.

"Mad isn't the word," Duke replied, returning to the couch. "Sit down."

Still refusing to make eye contact, Mallory awkwardly sat beside him. His condescending attitude was gone now, replaced by an air of disappointment.

"I'm assuming this was Nosedive's idea," he said.

"Completely," said Mallory.

"I figured. But why did you go along with it? 'Cause frankly, Mal, that was low, especially for you."

"I know. I don't know why I listened to him. I was just being stupid."

"Well, what did you think was in there? You can tell me. I won't get mad."

Mallory hesitated. "I didn't think it was anything bad, if that's what you're asking. I really didn't." She paused again, wondering if that was even honest, then sighed. "I don't even know what I was expecting. Nosedive just wouldn't let up about it and we– I decided to act like an idiot... and a jerk."

"Okay," said Duke. "I believe that."

"And I'm really, really sorry," Mallory continued. "You have every right to keep things to yourself and it was totally wrong for us to go behind your back like that."

"Yeah, it was. Can't argue with that."

Mallory didn't say anything more. She just kept her gaze on the floor and waited for him to spout off. But after a moment, all he said was, "But it's fine. Apology accepted."

Surprised, Mallory looked at him doubtfully. "Are you sure?"

"You know I can't stay mad at you, sweetheart. Besides, curiosity gets the best of all of us. Let's just forget about it, all right?"

Mallory smiled and nodded, and they were both quiet again. Then Duke chuckled. "No harm done anyway. I mean, that book's just a decoy."

Mallory looked at him questioningly. His signature smirk had returned.

"You notice anything odd about that box?" he asked her.

Mallory sighed. "It has a false bottom," she said. "I noticed, but I didn't look. I swear."

Duke looked surprised, then impressed. "Well, then..." He got up, took the box off the shelf and handed it to her. "Go ahead."

Mallory looked dumbfounded. "Why?"

"I want you to see what's really in there. Just keep it between us."

Duke sat down again. Mallory hesitated, and he waited. Finally, she opened it. She took out the book, found the tiny switch she'd discovered before and removed the false bottom. Underneath were two objects. "Can I?" she asked. Duke nodded. She picked up the first object, a small album, and opened it to find a picture of the team in hockey gear right after they had arrived on Earth. "A photo album?"

"Call me a sentimental fool."

Mallory flipped through the other photos, all pictures of at least one team member. Many of them were from hockey games, but some were just from random moments, like when Nosedive fell asleep with his head in a pizza box or when Tanya built a fully functioning puck launcher out of duct tape. There were even a few shots from the ridiculous photo shoots Phil managed to drag them into.

Smiling fondly at the memories, Mallory put the album back and picked up the second object – a silver necklace with a bird-shaped pendant inset with a blue stone. "What's this?" she asked.

"My mother's necklace," said Duke.

Mallory paused, slightly taken aback. "It's beautiful," she said quietly.

"It's worthless," Duke replied, not coldly. "She gave it to me when I was seven 'cause I liked it so much. It's just... all I got left of her, I guess."

Mallory gently put the necklace back and returned the box to its original state. "Well, now I feel worse," she said.

"Don't," said Duke. "You apologized, Nosedive ran in terror. It's all good." He took the box back to the shelf and lingered there for a moment, smiling to himself. "Ya know," he said, turning back to Mallory, "I still have plans for tonight, and my offer's still open. Wanna come?"

"Where are you going?"

"There's this bar. It's kinda rundown and I know you're not one for drinkin', but the manager's cool with me and it's quiet–"

"Actually, that sounds great right now."

"Ya sure?"

Now that Mallory thought about it, the offer was surprising. She and Duke never went anywhere together, not for the sake of enjoying each other's company, at least. Even on the rare days when they weren't arguing about something, it just didn't happen. But then, things had changed, perhaps more than anyone realized.

"Two aliens out for a crazy night in Anaheim?" she said. "Sounds exciting."

"Hey, sarcasm's my thing," said Duke. "But I'll take that as a yes. You ready, then?"

"Let's go."

As the two headed for the doors, Duke stole a quick glance at her. "Your feathers are rufflin', sweetheart," he said.

"No, they're not," she replied shortly. But they were, and Duke just smirked. Mallory decided to change the subject. "But what about Nosedive?" she said as they started down the hall. "Are you just gonna let this go or are you gonna get back at him?"

"Nah, I think that musty old book was punishment enough. Besides, he's probably halfway to Burbank by now."

Mallory stopped suddenly, looking devious. "I have an idea."

At the moment, Nosedive was not halfway to Burbank. He was actually hiding in the storage closet in Phil's office, chiding himself for bothering with that stupid box and desperately hoping Duke wouldn't find him. He was also incredibly bored. But before he could start an imaginary conversation with the broom, his comm beeped. He opened it reluctantly and Mallory's face appeared.

"Hey, Desperado, where are you?" she said, forcing a glare.

"In the closet in Phil's office," Nosedive replied in a hushed voice.

"Well, stay there," said Mallory. "Duke's looking everywhere for you."

"Man, I'm so dead. This is all your fault, you know."

"My fault?"

"You could've talked me out of it, but noooooo, you just had to look in the box. And you clearly failed the whole tricking Duke part, so yeah, I'm blaming you."

"I'm saving your tail feathers right now, you moron. Just stay in the closet. I'm sure he'll lose interest in a few hours."

"A few hours?!"

"Oh, and, Nosedive? Your comm has a tracker in it, remember?"

Nosedive's look of terror before he disconnected was priceless. Mallory shut her comm with a smirk and Duke chuckled.

"You're good, Mal. Shall we?"

"Let's."