Lol, I didn't expect to get such positive feedback on that oneshot. Anyway, some of ya'll wanted me to write a little more for this. So I did. By the way, I love dad hopper. Just saying.

Setting: Season 4, Autumn.

Song: Turn Me Loose - Loverboy

Rated: PG 13

Knock knock.

Knock.

Knock knock knock.

"Hopper!" El called from her bedroom, deeply concentrating on her chemistry notes, "Door!"

Knock knock.

Knock.

Knock knock knock.

"Hopper!"

"I know, I know…" He grumbled as he lifted himself from the couch, "Why can't you open it?"

"Busy!"

"Busy!" Her father parroted, dramatically waving his arms, "Hey, who did you invite over here, anyway?"

Knock knock.

Knock.

Knock knock knock.

El groaned in frustration from the room behind him. Hopper rolled his eyes, walking up to the cabin door.

"Jesus Christ!" He muttered as he fiddled with the locks, "Just a second!"

He finally managed to open the door, deepening his usual frown as his eyes meet with that goddamn Wheeler kid, "Oh. It's you."

Mike nervously tugged at his shirt sleeve, "Good to see you too, sir."

He grunted in response, moving to the side, allowing the boy in.

"Why are you here?"

"El called earlier," He explained, feeling a tint of pink rise to his cheeks, "She- uh- She wanted to study."

The grown man examined the lanky teen, noticing the lack of books in his backpack. Study. Yeah, okay, kid.

"Oh, really…" Hopper lowered his voice, "Is that why you were here yesterday too? Studying?"

Mike coughed, his eyes bugging, "No- No! I wasn't here yesterday!"

"I'm not stupid, son. Don't lie to me." He said through his teeth, "You were here."

"Well… Yeah, I was here, but only for an hour!" The teenage boy admitted, "And all we did was study, I swear!"

"Study what?"

"Excuse me?"

Hopper folded his arms, "What did you study?"

Mike bit his lip, "Um… We studied… Algebra! We have a test coming up, so…"

There was a brief pause. Hopper sighed, and took a cigarette from his back pocket, lighting it calmly. He bought it?

"And her neck?"

Her neck?

"What?"

"My daughter's neck, Wheeler. What does algebra have to do with you leaving hickeys on my daughter's neck?"

Mike's face burned bright red, he ran his hand through his messy, dark curls, "Well…"

"And don't give me the 'tripped on the rug' crap." Hopper advised, dryly, "Heard that one last night."

"Uh… She got bit by a… dog?"

"Ha, funny."

"What's funny?" El asked, walking into the living room. Her eyes met with Mikes, noticing the look of pure horror on his face, "Hi… Mike…"

"Hey- Hey, El!" He stuttered, eyeing the Sheriff cautiously, "Let's- Uh- Go study!" Mike took her hand, and started for her room.

"Not so fast, Count Dracula," Hopper growled, taking a seat on the couch, "We're not done here."

The chief curled his lip, forcing a visibly-fake smile upon his face, and patting the spot next to him on the couch.

El frowned, still keeping her grip on her boyfriend's hand, "We really need to study."

"And we," Hopper gestured toward Mike, "Really need to talk."

"Okay." She said, standing her ground.

"Alone."

Eleven sighed, rolling her eyes and letting go of his hand. She marched back into her room, slamming the door in the process.

"You teach her that?" He asked the nervous boy as he took his seat on the couch, "She's been doing the eye roll thing a lot, lately."

Mike didn't answer, he didn't move. Every muscle in his body seemed tense, and his mind felt so fuzzy, it like he was anticipating yet another punch in the face.

Oh, yes. Hopper was enjoying himself. He took a deep breath, "Okay. So, I'm gonna say this once. I don't want you to argue, I don't want you to question, and I don't want you to interrupt me. Understand?"

He gulped, nodding his head.

"Good." The chief took a long puff from his cigarette, "If I ever find out that you hurt my girl in any way, I will personally beat your ass back into the Upside Down." Another puff of smoke, "And if you ever, ever push her into doing anything she's uncomfortable with-"

"I didn't push her-"

"What did I say about interrupting!" He glared, silencing the teen with a single stare, "I'm going to give you three rules. Three. I expect you to follow them." Hopper put the cig out on the ash tray, "You don't want to break them. Comprende?"

Mike gave a terrified nod. Good.

"Rule one: No sex." He lit a second cigarette, "Repeat."

"No- No sex."

Hopper smiled slightly, gently blowing smoke into the teenager's face, "Rule two: No unchaperoned meetings."

"No unchaperoned meetings."

"And rule three: no kisses over three seconds. Not until you're thirty."

"No kisses over three seconds," Mike blushed, "Not until I'm thirty."

"Good?"

"Good."

Hopper grinned again, the smoke from his cigarette pooling from his nostrils (the way he used to do during interrogations, back when he worked in the city), "That's good." He leaned back into the couch.

Mike sat in silence, still anticipating any future blows to the face.

"How'd you get the black eye?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "Um… I got in a fight?"

"Well duh." El's father deadpanned, "I mean, who socked you in the face?"

"Oh." Mike twiddled his thumbs, "Um, Troy Harrington."

"Huh. That Steve's little brother?"

He nodded again.

"Interesting…"

"Hey!" His adopted daughter called from her room, "Can I have him back, now?"

Hopper frowned, turning around to see a very impatient Jane "Eleven" Hopper poking her head outside of the bedroom door, "In a sec!" He turned back to Mike, who was still sitting in an uncomfortably rigid position, "We still clear on the rules, Count Dracula?"

"Yes- Yes, sir." His eyes slowly wandered to the small firearm still attached to Hopper's belt, "Crystal clear."

"Good." He smiled, "Now get some real studying in, huh?"

"Yes, sir!"

The Wheeler boy must have left that godforsaken couch in just two seconds, as he was already down the hall, and into the 'safety' of his daughter's room.

Jim Hopper took another long puff from the cigarette butt in his fingers, "Ah, who am I kidding."

He thought back to his own high school years, cringing slightly to himself as he very well remembered the exact same conversation he had to endure when he was around Wheeler's age. Except, he had been a little younger than Mike, and heard it one too many times from numerous girlfriends' fathers.

Yeah, this conversation definitely flew in one ear, and out the other.

Despite the young man's harmless outside appearance, Hopper knew much better. He knew the rules were going to be thrown out the window. Hell, the kid is a typical, horny, melodramatic teenage boy; of course he's going to be up to no good, unsupervised, in his daughter's bedroom. It was a given. There was no point trying to stop it, because they would always find a way around him. At least, Hopper did when he was their age.

It could be worse, right? Normal teenagers could be much more rebellious than this.

He heard a few muffled giggles coming from El's room. Then a playfully hushed, "Mike!"

Hopper groaned, cradling his head in his hands.

"I need a drink."

AAAAND THAT'S A WRAP, FOLKS! HOPE YA ENJOYED IT! REMEMBER TO REVIEW AND FAV, MY DUDES!