Chapter 23:

Note:

This will be a shorter chapter, apologies in advance. Need to ensure that my pace is accurate and not too much is revealed at the wrong time.

Also, just wanted to give you guys a heads up, but the flashback scene may be slightly different than what Richelle Mead wrote. I wanted to expand on a certain scene with my own take, but the basis is still there.

Approximately 2 Years Ago

I would never have thought I would lose my virginity that way. I always figured that it would happen with some loser Moroi while we were both intoxicated and not thinking clearly. Being with the right person for my first time never struck me as being important, especially for a Dhampir who has essentially sworn a life of not being with someone forever, until Dimitri Belikov entered my life. I fell for him hard, the sort of cliché way that any star-struck book couple would. And the best part of it all? He loved me back, just as much.

We laid in the abandoned cabin on the outskirts of campus, holding each other as tightly as possible. Only a few words had been exchanged after the act, with Dimitri asking me if I was okay. "Better than ever," I had responded, giving him a warm smile. He smiled back at me, then soon pulled me closer to him again causing silence to form between us. Not the awkward silence after your first time, but more like taking in every moment we had together. Who knew how long it would be before we had another moment like this.

He stroked my hair lovingly, as my eyelids fluttered shut. This was the most relaxed I had felt in a long time. There were no ghosts, headaches, and darkness running within me at this very moment. Not even Lissa's thoughts and feelings were running through my head. This was bliss and something that I never knew I needed until now.

"I haven't felt this relaxed in forever," I murmured into his chest. "No darkness, no anger, no pain. Just happiness."

He chuckled and leaned down to give me a kiss on my forever, before wrapping himself around me tighter. "You deserve the world, Roza. There is no one else that deserves it more than you."

I smiled up at him, leaning in to give him a quick kiss. My heart fluttered as my lips pressed against his, as his sweet words echoed through my mind. "I want you in it, Comrade. Always."

His body tensed briefly at what I said but soon relaxed as he let his feelings succumb to what I said. "You'll always be a part of my life," Dimitri said, wrapping both arms around me. "It is hard to promise more, Roza. Everything is more complicated now."

"It's been complicated for a long time. Although the least complicated thing about this entire thing is my feelings. I love you and I don't think that will ever change no matter what happens."

"Even if I were to marry Tasha?" asked Dimitri, causing me to shudder at the thought of it. He let out a laugh, then squeezed me against his chest. "Oh, Roza, you know that it won't ever happen. There isn't going to be anyone else that I will ever love as much as I love you."

The emotions were pouring throughout me and I tried my best not to tear up.

I laid my head against his toned chest, wanting to freeze this moment in time. No matter what happened to us, this would be a moment that I would never forget. He was a part of me, a part of my soul that would always be with me no matter what happened. I didn't know how the future would work out.

Present Day:

If anyone had asked me a year ago if I would ever end up naked in Dimitri's arms again, I probably would have laughed. There didn't seem to be any plausible way that I would ever be able to be with him in that way again. Sure, I had hopes that he would come back to America begging for me, but I never thought that it would be my reality today.

The first time we had sex we were completely in love with each other and admitted how deep our feelings ran. Now, we laid there in silence both taking at the moment. The sex was definitely the best I have ever had, filled with so much emotion and power behind it. Yet, it was hard to say what was going to happen from here. I was scared to let myself fall in love with him, even though the physical and emotional connection we still had was uncanny.

Dimitri was the first to speak up, even though I wished that he didn't. "Rose, I—"

"Not now," I said, continuing to have my arm wrapped around his bare chest.

"Did you get the clarity?" He whispered to me, with a hint of humor in his voice.

I giggled and nodded my head, reaching up to give him a kiss instead of responding to him. He tightened his hold around my naked body, as we continued laying there in silence.

"I know what you want to ask me, Dimitri, but I don't want to think about what will happen from here. I just want to enjoy this moment and not read too much into it, if that is okay?" My voice was slightly shaky with what I said, but I knew it would be for the best. I needed to process things more carefully before I even categorized what all of this meant.

"Okay," He whispered back to me in my ear. It sent an entire sensation down my body, which gave me flashbacks to what happened less than an hour ago. The way he trailed his fingers down my bare spine, as we barely broke a kiss. The way he looked at me with a devilish grin before he gave me the pleasure ever girl deserves. My sex with Adrian was never this good.

The warmth surrounding my body soon caused me to relax and succumb to sleep. I wanted more than anything for this moment to last forever and just be surrounded by a dreamless sleep with Dimitri's comforting warmth. Except, my thoughts soon drifted to me sitting in a middle of a flower guardian with a water fountain running. I was wearing a flowy dress, with my hair down and neatly curled.

It took me a second to become aware of my surroundings until I realized that this must be a spirit dream. Of course, he had impeccable timing, especially when I was having the second most peaceful post-sex sleep with Dimitri. Anger soon came over me wondering why on Earth Adrian would choose now to reach out. I hadn't spoken or even thought about him since before Dimitri and I left on the vacation. A text would have sufficed, not one of his damn fantasies.

"Little Dhampir, looking as great as ever," said Adrian's familiar voice, as he walked around the fountain. He was wearing a navy suit, with no tie and the top buttons of his collar undone. Of course, he was trying to ramp up the sex appeal in this fantasy.

My eyes narrowed as I crossed my arms over my chest. "Can you return me to my preferred dream?"

"You are saying this isn't preferred?" He said, with that glint in his white, toothy smile. He gestured for me to sit down, but I continued to stand and glare at him. He sat down anyways at the edge of the fountain continuing to smile at me. "Thought I would change up your usual tight dresses for something flowier. I like it."

"Seems like you finally have the balls to talk to me since you accused me of being a blood whore," I said, with my mouth clicking at every word. "Why the hell are you here? Is this some sort of lame attempt to get me back? Because trust me, that is never going to happen."

He breaks eye contact by looking down at his fingernails, letting out a long sigh. "Rosemarie, I wanted to tell you that I was sorry. You didn't deserve those awful things to be said by me, especially in such a public place. It was embarrassing, and I certainly got my ass handed to me after the plane took off. You can thank Christian Ozera for that."

I smirked, at the sudden image of Christian smacking and threatening Adrian. It was hard to believe that I even had a grudge against Sparky. Now he was one of my fierce protectors, probably out of obligation to protect Lissa's best friend, guardian, shadow-kissed partner or however you want to phrase it.

"You're not forgiven, but I guess it is a start?" I sarcastically said, shaking my head. "Is that all you need? I would really like to get back to my Adrian-free sleep and life."

I knew it was a bit harsh and I could see the hurt penetrating from his eyes into me. He looked down at his hands and frowned. "I know I fucked up, Rose. Right from the start when I agreed with a meaningless sex. I thought I could win you back over time, but I knew that it would never happen. Your heart still belongs to him and nothing can change that."

"It doesn't belong to him," I said through my teeth, knowing that it refers to Dimitri. Yes, Dimitri and I just had some great sex, but I didn't know exactly what it meant. I didn't know that a simple kiss would turn into this hungry passion that both of us possessed. "Everything was fine until the holidays, then you started to act possessive over me when we weren't anything more than friends with benefits."

Adrian shrugged. "I was protecting you. I saw him come back with you and I didn't want you to be broken again. The life left your eyes and your aura was as dark as it ever had been once he left Court over a year ago. This was my way of protecting you."

"I disagree, Adrian. We were using each other for pleasure and—" I stopped right there, knowing that there was no point in this conversation. "I ended it because it didn't feel right doing that with you when I knew it was going to lead nowhere. I know I shouldn't have ended it in the way that I did, but it happened."

"You aren't a blood whore, Rose. No one seemed to believe me when I said that. There haven't been any rumors circulating throughout the community, I can assure that."

I nodded. "I appreciate that a lot. Thank you." At this point in the conversation, I wanted to escape this dream and wake up from the reality. Why couldn't Dimitri be waking me up to get ready for night patrolling of that house? Why couldn't we go and hunt down some more Strigoi to require intel on Hans Croft?

I paced back and forth in the front of the water fountain, as the silence continued to spread between us. Adrian looked uncomfortable and didn't know what to say and I was hoping to God he would end this spirit dream soon. Yet, I could tell that there was a part of him that was amused at my anxious behavior to be

put in this situation.

"Can I leave?" I finally said to him.

He deflected answering my question. "They are updating the spa area in Court like completely. New massage beds, new facials, and even are getting a steam room. I always pestered my Auntie Tatiana about improving that area, since it is a necessity for us royals."

I rolled my eyes the entire time he was saying this nonsense. The royal Moroi needed his damn relaxation. What did they have to possibly worry about? They were in the most secure Moroi community in America and had an army of guardians to protect them. If anything, the guardians deserved a free massage day every few months.

"I think Auntie Tatiana caved into my long and enduring question once she encouraged Lissa and me to work with spirit even more. She has been pushing a ridiculous amount, which is quite annoying. Except I'm sure you know all of this through Lissa."

I frowned, realizing that I hated spent that much time in Lissa's head. My body knew that she was okay by the general feel of having that connection to her, yet I hadn't had many opportunities to go inside her head when we had been constantly busy with the mission. Then again, Lissa had also become better at blocking me out of her head and would occasionally do that throughout the day.

"No wonder I have felt something seeping into me," I stated. I had been experiencing the funny sensation of the darkness flowing into me through the bond for the past few weeks but chose to ignore it. Sometimes I didn't even sense it, especially since I had grown so accustomed to it. "Why is she pushing for you guys?"

"No clue."

Shaking, I continued pacing back and forth with worry clouding in me. "Doesn't Tatiana know the dangers surrounding excessive use of spirit? Doesn't she know how it will hurt me especially when I'm on an important mission? Why hasn't Lissa stressed that?" Questions were flying out of my mouth, as my voice became shaky to match my body.

Adrian rose from his position and stopped me by placing both hands on my shoulders. "Calm down, Little Dhampir. I'm sure there is a good reasoning behind it. Guardian Steele apparently requested it to Tatiana and said that it would help them with their plan. Sounds shady to me, but it is all for good reason. Maybe so we are strong enough to help out with any wounded guardians?"

I bit my lip and shook my head. "This doesn't make sense to me."

"It honestly doesn't make much sense to me either. I'll keep you updated if anything else happens. Overall, Lissa is handling it well. Christian and I have been keeping a close eye on her. Maybe you should check up on her too more often."

"Don't give me that," I said backing away from him. "I have been busy when she is up and if something was wrong and she was hurt by her own means or by someone else I would immediately know."

Adrian shrugged and walked over to one of the flowers and looked at it. "Part of the reason why I came was to apologize, but I thought you should know about this heightened practice of spirit. Since you are kind of roped into all of it too."

I nodded. "I appreciate it."

"You look happy by the way. It appears that your aura has finally found that love part to it again."

That immediately caused me to blush and I silently cursed to myself.

"I guess I will let you go Little Dhampir, I don't want to interrupt that hot and heavy moment with you and Belikov."

"How?" I asked, but it was too late.

My body jolted awake at the end of the spirit dream, which was always a shitty side effect. It wasn't one of those graceful transitions from a spirit dream to normal dreaming, but I guess that is how it worked. My sudden body movement had startled Dimitri, who released his firm grip on me and eyed me carefully.

"Roza? Are you okay?" He asked me. His fingers lightly brushed against my face and pushed back a few stray hairs from my face.

"Steele put in a request to make all spirit users increase their hours working with the magic. I'm not sure why, but I find that odd. He knows the risks and so does Tatiana, who needed to clear it. Do they want me to go insane?"

Dimitri frowned, before placing a kiss on my temple. "How have you been feeling though? You don't seem angrier than usual with the amount of spirit Lissa has been using."

"I know and that is what scares me. What if this darkness is just building up and waiting to attack me at the most inconvenient time?"

I started to wonder if every time Dimitri and I would have sex the topic of this guaranteed darkness looming inside of me would come up. The first time we had sex was a result of the fallout from the darkness raging inside of me and here we are talking about it again. To deflect from talking about me directly, I quickly chimed in. "Why is Steele even interested in spirit magic? He was very much against magic usage for any guardian affairs. He was against skilled Moroi using it in battle, remember?"

"I certainly remember that. I think Croft was leaning more towards allowing willing Moroi to help fight alongside guardians in battle. He was even more convinced after learning what you and Christian did."

I recalled that conversation between Hans Croft and I shortly after Lissa and I graduated. After the big battle at St. Vladimir's the teamwork between Christian and me went somewhat viral. Apparently, some Moroi locked up in one of the dormitories was staring out the window at Christian and I fighting the heard of Strigoi. As a result of modern-day technology, a part of the fight was recorded. It terrified some people to think of a Moroi fighting alongside a guardian (I guess in my case back then a novice) and others it invigorated them at this new-found method to fight Strigoi more effectively.

"We need to stake out that house tonight," I said gazing over at the window that had its blinds partially open. It was fairly dark outside, and I knew that soon it would be the prime time to stake out that house. There definitely had to be Strigoi involved, especially since there were no wards guarding it.

"Agreed," said Dimitri, unwrapping his arms from me. "We should leave in about an hour, so make sure you are ready."

We climbed out of bed and I planned to get ready rather quickly. Except when I caught sight of Dimitri's body, I couldn't help but swoon. I mean there was still an hour to spare before we were going back to the house. Damn it. Snap out of it, you are on a mission. My brain fired at my thoughts of trying not to let this escalate any further. I figured there was nothing wrong with a little tease.

"I'm going to shower," I announced, making direct eye contact with him. I saw his eyes leave my own and look down my naked body. "The door is unlocked if you need something." I gave him a look, before purposefully swaying my hips more than usual as I walked passed him.

Grinning with my back turned to him, I shut the bathroom door. Grabbing one of the fluffy white towels from the shelf, I placed it on the floor by the shower. My body relaxed under the hot water, but I wasn't there alone for very long. Less than five minutes later, I heard Dimitri open up the door to the bathroom.

A smirk spread across my face, as I worked the shampoo through my hair. "Yes?" I called out. He pulled back the shower curtain and I noticed instantly that he was still naked. "Excuse you, Comrade. I don't think that is very polite to interrupt a girl in the shower."

"I swear you have a death wish for me, Roza," He said, with an underlying growl in his voice. He climbed into the shower, causing my smirk to grow on my face. "You really know how to tease, don't you?"

Before I could reply to him, his lips met mine and I was pressed up against the shower. His hands trailed down my body, as I wrapped one arm around his neck and another fisted his hair. This desire for him was continuing to grow and I know that there was no turning back from whatever this was or may mean.

As he moved his hands away from my breasts to my ass to lift me slightly I let out a moan. He smiled at me before we repeated what was done not more than a few hours ago. I could tell in his eyes that his desire for me was just as much as my desire for him. As we became one, I couldn't help but wonder if this was the beginning of a true romantic relationship with him or not. Did I want that? I wasn't sure at the time, but I knew to enjoy every moment of this.

Author's Note:

First of all, yes, I'm here and alive and well. Lol. Got a concerned person who messaged me asking me if I was okay. I'm perfectly okay guys, personal life has been busy and exciting things are happening for me in it. I have been focusing on my mental well-being so much this past month, it has made me feel so fulfilled and grateful for everything that I have in my life. Anyways, enough with my sappiness!

Apologies for the Adrian bit, but he did serve a purpose with providing more insight on the Court. Also, I had to incorporate some Dimitri and Rose fluff in it because why not? Usually, I'm not a huge fan of fluff chapters, but for some reason, this was really calling out to me. I moved a few things around to give some cute moments. ;)

So, next chapter the story will be starting to ramp up the action with the Hans Croft mystery and the mission. Also, I'm changing the point of view flashback to another character. Any guesses who? I'm excited to begin incorporating this added element of mystery more to the story. And no worries, there will be a lot more of Rose and Dimitri navigating their relationship.

Thank you for the lovely support!

17 more chapters to go. Reviews are appreciated!