AN: Hi everyone! I don't know where this idea came from… wait… yes I do. I watched ep. 8 of Fruits Basket (this is the Hatori and Kana episode) many, many times in a row. Then I heard this song on the radio… and my mind just went to work. But don't you fear! Next chapter of Sweet Nothing should be out soon (I know, I know, I said that before… leave me alone okay?), and I have another Hiro+Kisa story in the works, and I have a non-sequel to The Winner Takes It All coming along too. I'll have them done when I get the chance!
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. Don't own the song. I thought I did, but I realized that I was dreaming.
Dedications: I dedicate this to Umifirefly15 and Prodigy! As always, you've been my biggest support during this hectic school year! I love you both so much!
WARNING: Very, very angsty. I think you might need tissues, but it's not that bad… I don't think anyways. Also SPOILERS!!!! Ep. 8 spoilers! Well, then, since I got that out of the way… On with the fic! Enjoy the angst!
"Italics" mean song lyrics or flashback
Ghosts
By: Pichachu
I came back to my house after a long day. It seemed that Akito had caught the latest flu bug that was going around. And for Akito, the flu has a more devastating effect than on a normal person.
I tended to him for a while. It looks like the bug will have to just run its course. There was very little that I could do.
I sighed as I sat down on a chair. It had been a very exhausting day. Akito's fever makes him weak, but it still does not stop him from throwing his fits. Though weakened, it was still hard to control.
I leaned back. I needed some rest. I looked at the clock, and it told me that it was still pretty early.
But it had been a long day.
Then a calendar caught my eye. When I saw the date, I realized that it was going to be a long night too.
"What am I supposed to do
With all these blues
Haunting me, everywhere, no matter what I do
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I can't let go
When will the night be over?"
Today…
I didn't even realize it…
Time sure flew by fast for how slowly it crawled by.
My heart ached when I thought about it.
This day brings so many memories.
For today was the anniversary of the day Kana left me. The day that I had to erase her memories. As I poured myself a drink, the flashbacks flooded inside my mind, bringing back memories that I had suppressed.
"I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me."
Snow fell outside lightly... It was snowing the day I met you too.
"That's it! Can I ask you a question?" I remember her saying.
I just looked at her. The snow fell outside softly, and her eyes watched it. The joy that spread on her face as she watched the snow fall was unforgettable. Her eyes were bright, just like a child.
"When snow melts, what will it become?"
That question. It meant a lot to me. For the answer touched my heart more than any other words did.
"It'll become water, of course," I answered, not thinking too much about the question.
"Wrong! It becomes spring!"
Spring… what a nice concept. Especially since I had been told numerous of times that I was as cold as snow.
If snow truly turned into spring, then someday I would find happiness. And she proved that to me.
If I was the snow, frozen inside the dark, closed Sohma family, she was the fresh clear spring.
She was that spark in nature that ends the winter. The snow and ice around my heart melted and became warm and loving, just like the spring. To me, she was the spring, everything innocent, everything beautiful.
We fell in love. It was the happiest I had been in my entire life.
"Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
Phantom ships, lost at sea
And one of them is mine"
But it never was to be.
Maybe that was part of the Juunishi curse.
No, the curse did not seem to be that we would turn into a strange animal when we were hugged by a person of the opposite gender.
The real curse was that we could not find love.
We could not find happiness.
The Juunishi curse put limitations on us. Maybe the curse did not do it itself, it would be used by others to put a cage around us.
Like a person would for a strange animal.
But I can't blame Akito. He's just looking out for me. He's just looking out for the rest of the cursed beings.
And I can't blame Kana. It wasn't Kana fault that all this happened… But she blamed herself, no matter what I did to assure her.
As I watched her shatter, I knew what I had to do. And Akito reassured me that it was the right thing.
To forget about us would be painful just for me, but if it would make happy someday, then it would all be worth it.
Raising my glass, I sing a toast to the midnight sky
I wonder why
The stars don't seem to guide me"
I took another sip from my glass. Now Kana is happily married.
To another man.
Not me.
Yes, she found happiness, and without me.
The pain is very hard to bear, but I know that she is happy. Wouldn't it make things all worth it?
But if it is, then what is this pain that I feel?
Nostalgia? Most likely.
I raised my glass up to the jeweled sky. The star twinkled against the darkness of midnight.
A toast… to Kana and her happiness.
A toast to my loneliness.
A call for help even.
Not even the stars tell me what to do.
"I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me"
I took another sip from my glass. The night was definitely long.
I shouldn't get this emotional over something like this.
Happiness is fleeting… always fleeting. At least when you are cursed. You aren't supposed to be happy.
The curse prevented it.
But it can still be a dream. Maybe even a hope.
"The ghost of you and me
When will it set me free
I hear the voices call
Following footsteps down the hall
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul"
The snow started again. I walked out a little from the door, letting the snow flake fall lightly on my clothes.
The snowflakes danced. It was so beautiful. And the snowflakes would forever dance.
Like my thoughts, they would forever dance.
Like Kana's eyes, they would forever dance.
As the snowflake's dance unfolded more in front of my eyes, the memories became overwhelming.
"You're as cold as snow."
"I knew it would come!"
"When snow melts, what does it become?"
"Wrong! It becomes spring!"
"I love the spring the most!"
"I see… you were scared. You didn't want to be found out."
"I'm glad I met Hatori."
"I'm happy to be in love with Hatori."
"I wont allow it! ...Can you get rid of the curse on the Sohma family?! Can you?! You're useless! It's your fault! It's your fault! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"
"You're power comes in handy in times like this, doesn't it? Her memory needs to be erased. You've never had a problem with this before"
"The things that torment are the memories of you."
"It's your last gift."
"The two of us… we shouldn't have met."
"Hatori… I'm sorry… I couldn't protect you."
"I'm happy I'm in love with Hatori..."
"I'm glad I met Hatori."
"When snow melts, what does it become?"
Yes, it does become spring. But even spring fades to become the unforgiving summer, the bitter fall, and the harsh cold winter.
And winter lasts the longest.
"Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I can't let go
When will the night be over"
The ice that had formed around my heart had melted once more. As I watched the last light flicker out from the main house, the ice wall gave way completely.
The tears fell at an uncontrollable rate.
I had my share of happiness.
I've loved and have been loved in return. I should not ask for more.
I should not.
But I do.
For this pain inside, at times like these, makes today hard to bear.
For now, I'll cry, but from these tears, I'll draw next year's strength.
"I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me"
I walked back into my house. Without much thoughts, I change my clothes and crawl into bed.
The tears were still fresh in my eyes, the memories still fresh in head.
And I realized that the curse has robbed me of something.
It's robbed me of memories.
What I have aren't what you would classify as memories. They are bad memories, but they are not memories to me.
Instead, they are ghosts.
Ghosts that will haunt me forever, wherever I go.
Whispering to me from time to time. And at this moment, as I lay in bed, they were breathing down my neck.
And I'll live forever with the ghosts.
Constant reminders of our time together. The happiness we experienced. The tragedy we shared.
For the sake of your memory.
The ones that you lost, but will remain with me forever.
I'll live inside this never melting snow, so the dream I shared wouldn't melt away.
Maybe so that there was hope for the future, hope for the younger ones.
I sighed and rolled over and drifted to a sound sleep. And I'm sure, my ghosts did to.
AN: Wow! I guess it turned out really good… I hate the ending. I couldn't get it right, so I'm just going to leave it since I've tried many times to fix it, and this is the best I could come up with! Oh well… Going to go back later and fix mistakes… bye for now!
Pichachu