"I want you all to myself."

"And I will be only yours."

"doesn't that sound perfect?"

"Tell me, Anon.

"Tell me you want to be my lover."

"Do you accept my confession?'

…

…

No. How the hell could I.

"No."

Yuri's face rose creepily from her usual neutral placidity. She beams an irresistible smile in my direction. This was not the kind of reaction I expected. My stomach turns. Although I had never experienced rejection myself, I had seen it in a hefty amount in anime and games. The reaction I anticipated was completely off, but the fact that I had anticipated a normal reaction from her at all was moronic. Yuri begins to laugh just as sweetly as the smile that still hangs almost painfully across her lips.

Did she not hear me? Had I unknowingly answered yes whilst subconsciously thinking that I had rejected her? Her laughter became ragged and bordered on the lines of becoming horrible to listen to. From horrible to horrifying, she began to scream. Her eyes lose their placidity, her smile loses its sweetness, and she all but tosses aside her usually composed and shy elegancy. Like the dreadful snap of a violin string, her spine-curdling laughter pierces my eardrums, and skin.

"AHAHAHAHAHA"

Yuri pulls out a kitchen knife.

Absolute panic raids the oxygen stored within my boiling blood. Hot bile begins to surge up though my tightening throat as I writhe backwards a few feet fully expecting the keen edge of the steel to cut into the flesh of my own neck or chest. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. My head rings with nothing but insults to my own life. As I throw my hands to my mouth in a disgusting haze of sick and anxiety, I notice Yuri bringing the knife towards her heart.

She's going to...

"Yuri!"

Before the cold steel of the kitchen knife can make contact with Yuri's flesh I slide my arms tightly around the shaking girl in a painfully tight embrace.

"Stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP IT!"

I repeat myself desperately as her body reverberates and quivers around me. The knife still holds itself in Yuri's spasming arms ready to cut through our flesh and bone. I bury my face into her figure as I repeat soothing comforts into her ears over and over.

Yuri's breathing slows and the laughter that once spewed uncontrollably from her throat begins to be replaced with quiet sobbing. An unnerving clang of metal on the hard, polished floor of the clubroom assaults her delicate composure as she yields. As the knife drops to the ground Yuri wraps her thin arms around my back. In embrace we slide down to that same floor where the knife still sitting centimeters away from her glares temptingly. With a still shaking arm I throw the knife across the room and it skids away with a metallic assault to the silent crying of the broken Yuri in my arms.

The low sun gleams through the windows of the clubroom in the early hours of sunset. I wait patently as the shaking in Yuri's body dissipates away slowly until only her hands tremble on the small of my back. Yuri's cheeks glisten with tears and her long eyelashes play off of her closed eyes. Her skin is as white as a sheet and the only thing convincing me that her heart is still beating, is the slow, even breaths that escape from her lightly parted lips. In the short time we were together like this, Yuri had passed out.

"looks like we'll be spending the weekend together after all."

A long silence fills the room as I concentrate on Yuri's slow breathing, to sooth my own.

"Hey! Anon! long time no talk!"

The overly motivational and equally adorable voice of the famed school idol graces the ears of I, a mere mortal.

"it's only been a few hours, Monika."

I said this even though those few hours felt like days. I let my dry, exhausted tone seep through the phone to hopefully spare me from anymore of her teasing.

"Hehe~ So, what's up Anon? you sound, a bit…"

her voice trails off.

"Monika, I don't think we should participate in the festival."

There's a small silence on the other side of the phone. By the time Monika responds she sounds almost either annoyed, or angry. It was probably both.

"And why's that, Anon?"

I was surprised at the assertiveness of her tone. It made remember how much of a natural born leader she was, and it made me realize that even if Natsuki, Yuri, and I decided not to participate in the festival, Monika would likely just take on the entire project by herself, and probably nail it. That's just the type of person she is. Despite this, I struggled to answer her question properly.

"I-I don't really have a reason."

It was hard to lie to this girl.

"Is that so."

Her assertiveness again intimidated me. I felt that if I talked to her any longer I would be forced to confess everything.

"Y-yeah."

A low melodic hum filled the silence.

"Well, if that's really what you want, I guess I have no choice, Anon."

Wait, what? Why is she agreeing? Why would she?

"Fwaah, now I have to take down all the flyers, and explain everything to the teachers. Jeez, you're giving me such a big task Anon. you better treat me to something in return you know... I don't do favors for nothing~."

This was now the second time I had sold my soul to her irresistible smile that I'm sure she was wearing on the other side of the phone. I felt like I had dug my own grave. wanting to end the conversation quickly I hurriedly complied.

"Sure, that's fine. Look, we'll talk about it later ok? I kind of have something to do…"

A small sigh escaped Monika's lips, she then quickly composed herself to give a final statement.

"Here's Monika's writing tip of the day! whenever somethings bothering you, make sure you talk it out with someone you trust! And never underestimate how much people care about you! Wait, how is this a writing tip? Oh well, whoopsie…"

"Well, I'll see you Monday, Monika."

I placed the phone back into its charging station and pressed myself against the wall. I pushed my fingers into my temples as I thought over everything that had happened today and realized that I still hadn't stopped shaking. After a few long moments I heard a small noise coming from the other end of the house. I hadn't turned on any lights yet, so the house was quite dark. It was just after the sun had completely disappeared over the horizon and only the faintest of light peered in through the windows which lit the house in an unsettling crimson glow.

I creeped towards my room which was where I had left Yuri for the brief five minutes I was gone. Then, in an instant, I was suddenly filled with a horrible feeling in the very pit of my stomach. I tried not to run through the dark hallways, but I could barely contain myself. I had nothing sharp in my room so there shouldn't be anything to worry about, yet the feeling never left. I slowly turned the handle on the door only to push it open even slower.

"Yuri?"

My anxiety was quelled as I peered at the girl wrapped up in the covers of my bed.

"H-hi, Anon."

Yuri buried her face in the mattress, and even curled up slightly into a ball under the blankets. It seemed that she hadn't stopped shaking either. Even under the dimly lit covers the slight trembles were clearly visible. After a few seconds Yuri poked her head out of the sheets, her smoky eyes only barely visible in the dying light.

"I-is this your house?"

"Yeah."

"And your room?"

I nodded slightly.

"O-Oh."

Yuri ducked her head underneath the covers again. Audibly I heard a small inhale from underneath the blankets and I cringed slightly when I realized what she was doing. Yuri eventually pulled herself from the bed and sat up groggily as she started to play with her hair that had become messy from sleep.

"it's a nice room. It's quite tidy."

I sat down on the bed next to her leaving a quite considerable distance between us.

"You sound surprised…"

"Wah-! No! I didn't mean it like that! I just meant that it's nice that you like to keep it clean! Not that I thought you wouldn't. Ah, sorry."

It was comforting to see Yuri fall all over her words, and I was glad that she seemed to be acting normal.

"it's fine. I was just kidding."

Yuri giggled shyly and held a small smile on her lips as she nervously fidgeted with her silky hair. Suddenly a blush dusted her cheeks as she turned to me meekly, and without holding any eye contact.

"U-Uh, Anon… Where's your bathroom?"

The same blush began to assault my own cheeks almost as if it was contagious.

"Oh, um. Just go down the hallway and then to the end most door on the left."

Yuri got up heavily and began to wobble as her legs started to give way underneath her. I raised up from the bed as I darted to catch her. As our bodies made contact I felt a noticeable recoil from Yuri.

"Um, did you want me to walk you there?"

"Oh no its fine! That's just a bit too embarrassing. Please excuse me."

The small clock on my bed side table ticks ambiently through the silence as I anxiously wait for Yuri's return. I collapse down onto the bed and welcome the relief from my strained joints and muscles as if I had run a marathon. Another topic arouses my senses as I notice a light strawberry fragrance lifting from the blankets. I bring the sheets to my face and inhale Yuri's scent. I cringe as I realize the hypocrisy in my actions. Images of Yuri's deranged expression begin to invade my head, and the sounds of her psychotic laughter repeatedly stab at my nerves and mind. The events of the past day play on repeat and fill my brain with fear and terror. The sounds of pipes and waterworks suddenly bring my attention back to the situation at hand.

I just wanted to forget everything.

Yuri enters the room silently. As she closes the door behind her I awkwardly stand up. Apprehensively I walk over to Yuri and bring myself within incredibly close distance between us. I grab hold of her left arm tightly. Please let me be wrong.

"A-ah, Anon."

Sucking air through her teeth in pain Yuri moans quietly. I look into her eyes deeply, and Yuri looks back with lust. She did it again in the bathroom.

"Wait here."

Yuri nods and I leave the room.

I find myself in the bathroom staring at myself through the cabinet mirror. I bring my fingers to my black hair and hide my horrible expression from myself.

"Even if I have to lie to her, or fill her head with sweet nothings."

I pull back the mirror to reveal the contents of the cupboard and retrieve two items. I close the cabinet door to meet again with my reflection. I feel sick looking at myself right now.

"I want to at least try."

I renter my bedroom to find Yuri sitting on my bed fiddling with her long hair. the room is almost completely dark with only the smallest indications of light which makes it difficult to make out even just Yuri's figure or face.

To aid with our vision, I scoot up close towards Yuri on the bed, and gently whisper to her whilst looking deeply into her eyes.

"Yuri."

"Anon…"

"Take off your blazer."

Yuri hurriedly complies unbuttoning her grey school uniform. Yuri's breathing is heavy and long, and the blush on her skin is deep red. As soon as she finishes unbuttoning her blazer she delicately lays it on the floor. I then tug at the chocolate colored sweater. She hastily removes that and throws it onto the ground. Finally, to her white undershirt I tug at it softly. Yuri moves uncomfortably and looks away.

"I, u-uh."

I bring my arms to her chest and carefully unbutton each small plastic button and I slowly slide the thin shirt from her small shoulders.

"Oh god, Anon…"

Yuri lays down on the bed exposing her elegant body. Her cream white bra graces over her smooth skin like liquid silver and her strong hips extenuate her lewd position and expression which is endearingly messy. I place myself over Yuri and I delicately take her arms in my hands.

"Yuri. Do you-"

"Yes! With every ounce of my being! I'm yours! Make me yours! If you don't, I feel like my blood will boil inside my skin!"

I fell like a puzzle piece into Yuri's figure and fit tightly above her shoulder as I position my mouth right next to her ear.

"Yuri, just, calm down."

I placed soft kisses across her neck then delicately brought my lips to her cheeks. I then used my right hand to cup her face and kiss her forehead. I could feel her ragged breath on my neck.

"Yuri, do you love me?"

Yuri's eyes watered slightly. Her breathing slowed as she brought a hand to my own face and brushes a long black bang behind my ear.

"Do... Do you love me?"

Yuri's voice was pleading.

I finally brought her lips to mine as we sealed the unbearable distance between us. After a long stream of passionate kisses our lips parted. Still on top of her, I picked up her right arm and held it. As I traced my fingers down her arm fresh cuts streaking red and exposed flesh trickled down every inch of her radius from her wrist to her elbow. A fine collection of scars and blood made their vile home on Yuri's arm.

"Yuri, why."

"I… can't help it…"

I find the items I brought from the cabinet and started to open a small jar. I dip my fingers in the cool, gel-like sensation of the healing ointment, and begin to rub it generously over Yuri's wounds. Yuri gasps in pain.

"I'm sorry."

In an attempt to comfort her I placed my head above her right shoulder next to her ear, and began to kiss and whisper sweet nothings to her. All of course lies, and I feel horrible for it. After finishing with the ointment, I grab a long bandage and slowly wrap it around her arm making sure never to break eye contact with Yuri. after tying off the bandage I bend down to her ear again.

"Did you want me to do the other arm?"

"Yes, please."

As I let go of her right arm Yuri slides her left fingers out from between her thighs and a thin string of glistening fluid trails from her fingers. As I begin the rub the gel onto her left arm I take her coated fingers into my mouth and lick her fluids.

"Yessss…"

Yuri proceeds to get herself off with her right hand.

"Ah, ah, ah."

I finish by wrapping a second bandage around her arm and quickly tie it off. Yuri's moans quicken as I lean into her ear.

"Never take these bandages off, Yuri."

Yuri writhes beneath me. Her fingers work furiously at her entrance as she claws at my back with her free hand.

"If you ever feel the urge to cut yourself. I promise ill take care of it for you."

"Oh my god, Anon, I'm going to-"

Yuri trails off in an uncontrollable sequence of moans. Panting desperately, she brings my face to hers.

"Anon! Let me look at your face when I cum! God, I've never felt so high!"

I rest my forehead against Yuri's rocking body.

"Just, please, Yuri! let me take care of you! I never want to see you like I have these past few days. It hurts so much to see you do this to yourself! Let me fix you!"

Drool leaks from Yuri's mouth as she moans through each word in her essay in likeness response.

"If your love makes me feel like this. If your love makes me feel this good. Then I'll gladly never cut myself again! Let my blood be the words that fall from your lips. All I want to hear is that you love me!"

All she wants to hear is that I love her.

"I…"

"Yes, yes, yes, ah!"

I can't look at her.

And I won't be able to look at myself.

"I love you."

Yuri convulses violently beneath me as she thrusts her fingers deep inside herself. Her eyes roll backwards as she pulls my lips into a messy, yet passionate kiss. Her tongue wraps around my own as she moans directly into my open mouth.

"A-N-O-N!"

Yuri collapses from exhaustion. She brings her arms around my back and pulls me down to her in a shaky embrace. She buries her face into my chest as she catches her breath and slowly it begins to quell from its raggedness, to normal levels. After half an hour in her warmth we slowly retract from each other's bodies.

"Anon, could I, um… could I use your shower please?"

She promised me she wouldn't do it anymore. however, I still feel slightly uneasy.

"I don't see why not."

Yuri smiles and rushes to the door. Before she falls out of sight, Yuri pokes her head back into my room.

"I-is there a change of clothes I could use?"

That totally slipped my mind

"Oh, yeah some of my older sister's clothes should still be here. I'll lay them out for you."

Yuri sheds a sigh of relief. As she walks towards the bathroom I hear her footsteps linger for some time before coming to a complete halt. I suddenly hear her run back to my room. She stops just before the door way and keeps herself hidden.

"Uh, Anon?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you… say it again. I'm afraid that... in the bathroom I'll."

Her quiet voice breaks in timidity.

"I love you, Yuri."

God, I hate myself for this.

Yuri breaths deeply. On the other side of the door I hear her quietly utter words of encouragement to herself. With one final peak in my direction she runs off to the bathroom. The sound of the shower quickly follows.

I can't believe how disgusting I am.

"I should probably be getting home."

I feel uneasy about this.

"You, live alone, don't you Yuri?"

She nods in response. As we sit at the kitchen table with the lights finally on, Yuri starts playing with her hair still wet from the shower. It glistens with purple radiantly.

"I want you to… stay with me tonight."

Her smoky eyes light up.

"E-eh? No, I couldn't possibly. I've already been enough of a burden to you today."

I take a small sip from the oolong tea Yuri prepared earlier and its warmth staves off the chills, and keeps my hairs from standing up on my arms. I swirl it around in its cup and look off to the side awkwardly.

"You really have never been a bother to me, Yuri. Also with the festival and all it would be convenient for you to stay."

I say this even though our part in the festival has already been canceled. I can see that she wants to stay, so if I give her the tiniest incentive to, she'll definitely agree. Yuri nods to herself as if what I said is a justifiable reason. Which it wasn't.

"Yes, that's true. I'll stay with you then."

After much persuasion Yuri ended up taking the bed, and I took the mattress on the floor. After an hour or so of silence, Yuri who I completely thought was asleep began to slip out from her bed, and crawl into the blankets of my own mattress and into my arms. The haze around us instantly glows with warmth. I open my eyes to see her softly glancing at me.

"A-ah, sorry. I thought you were asleep."

Of course, I couldn't get to sleep with what happened earlier.

"No, it's fine. I haven't really been able to get to sleep either."

A light smile dances on her lips. She closes her deep purple eyes and nuzzles into my chest. Her warm breath then begins to heat my torso.

"Thank you, Anon."

With the source of my fear huddled warmly next to me. She with the same mouth that spewed that hysterical laughter, and she with the same hands that held that cold steel blade with a terrifying bloodlust. Somehow the thing that frightened me most, was that I was able to fall asleep so quickly with her in my arms.