A/N: Alright let's get to it. 15k after a couple months of radio silence. You guys are so patient, and supportive, and caring, and your reviews and words help and mean so much to me. Thank you guys.

Thank you again to those having to listen to my bitching. I love you guys. This is for all of you. Readers and friends. Enjoy.

She bound Cana directly after me. Bonds as old as ours, both emotionally and physically are strong. They become a part of who you are. Losing those…

It's not the first bond break he's felt. In all his decades he couldn't count the number of times he's felt a familiar ripped from the connection. The pull and absence of magic. The shock straight to the nerve endings. The empty ache.

But in every break he's experienced, it's never affected the witch.

Even if they can't share magic with each other, familiars are all still connected by something that cannot be explained. Whether they like it or not, they're bonded. No matter the level of affection they hold for each other, it's always had a painful physical effect.

This, is an entirely different level.

He can't move from where he's landed on his side. Knees drawn to his chest, claws digging into the ground. His forehead dents into the dirt, teeth bared in silent cry as tears stream down his cheeks and breaths shudder in to fill his lungs. He hurts. Everywhere. It hurts so bad.

He's never felt anything like this before.

And from what he can sense, every single familiar bound to Lucy has been forced to their knees and curled in shock.

He can't move. But he can hear.

"Lucy." Yukino's voice washes over all of them in a failed attempt to soothe. This isn't an emotional response. This is physical. Down to the bone. "Lucy, can you hear me?"

Lucy's hitched breathing and soft cries cut to the core.

"Nii-san?"

Hands push sweat-slicked hair back from his forehead and press into his cheeks. The coolness of Wendy's fingertips pull him bit by bit back into his body.

Lucy's soft cries morph into screams as she curls in on herself and tugs at her hair. Words jumble together, quiet and erratic at first before he can make out, "It's not there. It's not there. Her magic's gone. It's gone. It's gone."

Gray's muscle is rigid with every movement as he forces himself to get to Lucy and pull her up to a sitting position. She fights him at every inch, but he just wraps her up and restricts her jerking motions. She claws at his arm. Gray doesn't let go.

"Gray." Lucy's voice cracks. "She's gone."

Gray tightens his arms and hooks his chin over Lucy's head as tears stream down his cheeks. He closes his eyes, bites his lip, and chokes back a cry of his own, barely holding himself together.

His fingers go rigid and dig deeper into the ground as another wave hits him.

Wendy forces him to release his hold on the dirt and pulls him up to sitting as well. He can't feel his arms or legs. Everything is numb.

He doesn't feel the tears Wendy brushes from his cheeks.

"We have to go." He hears Lyon's voice and he can't suppress the snarl that rips from his throat.

Lyon's gaze snaps over to him at the sound and the growl immediately dies at the pain he sees there.

"I'm not as heartless as you think I am," Lyon says, swallowing thickly, eyes glazed. "But to keep any more of you from suffering that fate we need to go. The barriers are gone. Anyone could come find you. Karen could come find you."

He can't move.

Fuck, why can't he move?

He barely registers his arm being slung over a shoulder and Wendy hefting him to his feet. Somehow they get under him and he manages to stay upright without collapsing, but he sways to one side and Wendy has to pull him to her to keep him steady.

"Freed isn't anywhere close to here. He's off in Alvarez. He can put up a barrier when he gets back but until then we're vulnerable." Lyon turns to Gray. "We need to get to the tunnels."

"You've got enough room for all of us?" Gray is hoarse, voice shaking, each syllable forced through his lips.

"Of course. And if not, we'll make space," Yukino says.

"Keep us away from the rehab rooms," Gray bites and then immediately looks guilty. A wave of resentment roils through, unchecked and unexpected. None of them are in control of their emotions right now.

Yukino nods. "You don't even have to ask."

Yukino and Lyon make their rounds, flittering to and from the other familiars speaking softly, helping them to their feet. Each familiar pulled to standing sends a wave of protest out. It's agonizing to move a fraction of anything.

While the familiars brace themselves against the walls of the house, Yukino speaks softly to Lucy who periodically shakes her head. She mutters out a few indistinguishable words Yukino relays to Lyon that send him moving around the small shack, gathering items into a large suede bag.

"Yukino."

Lucy's voice is ragged. Choked. Deepened with grief. Yukino doesn't respond verbally, instead rushing to Lucy's side to help Gray hold her up. Lucy's head falls to Yukino's shoulder as she bites her lip.

"Call Mira," she whispers. "She's vulnerable now, too."

Tears fill Yukino's eyes. She gives Lucy a firm nod before facing forward once Lyon returns. "Let's go."

It takes them awhile to move through the forest. Toes catch on thick roots and more than one branch ends up grazing their arms and legs, but the pain doesn't register. There's a faint breeze that cools the tear tracks of his cheeks and each brush of wind makes his heart ache even more.

Karen.

Wendy's voice is muted since she's faced away from him, but he manages to pick up her words. "Maybe…maybe it wasn't Karen—"

"It was Karen," Lucy grits her teeth. "There was nobody else around. Cana wouldn't have just disappeared and died. Not with her magic. It was Karen."

No doubt.

How many more. How many more familiars…families…living things does Karen have to hurt before she's satisfied? Before it's enough? What is she even after anyway? Anything at all? Or is she just torturing and killing familiars for the hell of it.

…yeah. Definitely just for the hell of it.

He doesn't know whether it would be easier to take and understand if Karen had a good reason. Though there's no motivation to justify any of this.

He seethes audibly, phlegm breaking up and crackling the sound. She's going to pay.

He's going to make her pay.

He'll find a way. There's a loophole somewhere.

Another wave hits him, pressing down on his brow-bone and drawing strength from his limbs. Lethargy takes over, lidding his eyes and forcing each movement to take an overwhelming amount more effort than before.

His hearing dulls. Sense of smell dulls. Whole body buzzes with exhaustion. He faintly registers the pull of passing through the warp, the weightlessness that comes from being moved, and the presence and proximity to the others.

He doesn't remember getting into Yukino's tunnels. He doesn't remember any of the moving walls. He doesn't remember stopping and starting and turning and being lead.

All he remembers is something soft under his head, curling up in a large room, and the relief of knowing that the others are all huddled up in the same area—a steady reassurance that thrums beneath the lingering agony of the bond break.

—

It's an unfamiliar smell and energy that pulls him from sleep.

It takes a few moments for him to move, muscles sore and stiff from clenching in the same position for what was definitely a decent chunk of time if his degree of wakefulness is anything to go by. Wendy's gone, her scent faint, but not faint enough for him to worry about where she might be. Probably healing someone.

The energy is weird. It's one he's never encountered before.

She just stands there, in the doorway, one hand up against the rough dirt frame. Chunks of silver fall in deep blue eyes and cascade down her shoulders—messy and windblown, but she's not out of breath. She scans the room, darting from person to person more times than there are people until they dart to him.

A slight lift of the lips seems to be all she's able to muster. He can't really tell since he can't get a read on her emotions through the bond or otherwise.

…human. This woman is pure human.

There's no magic in her. He can't sense it.

She's also free of any piercings that he can see.

He's never met anyone magicless before.

"Mira."

The woman's head snaps over in the direction of the voice, to where Lucy is, propped up against a wall, ragged and exhausted. Gray isn't with her. He's not in the room either. He must've ran out at some point.

Lucy bites her lip, hard, as Mira makes her way over and a fresh wave of tears fill her eyes.

Mira falls to her knees in front of Lucy.

"She's gone…isn't she?" Mira asks. Though her face flickers with hope and dread, her voice is heavy with melancholic acceptance. She waits for the answer she knows is coming.

Lucy nods.

It's instant. The light that leaves her eyes. Mira bows her head, face hidden by a curtain of hair that only falls right back into place when she runs her fingers through it. A choked sob escapes her lips, further ones muffled by a hand she presses to her mouth to stifle them.

Nails dig into her scalp and twist into the silver as her cries sound through her nose, muffled, but too loud to be hidden. Lucy immediately pulls Mira into her, fresh tears trailing to her chin and soaking into Mira's hair.

"I'm not—" Mira's breath cracks involuntarily, a sob cutting off her words as one hand tugs at Lucy's cloak, "—ready. I'm not ready for this, Lucy. I'm not—I don't—how do I—" She grips harder at the dark fabric as the breathing comes faster and words begin to blend together. "I don't remember life without her, anymore."

Lucy's jaw visibly clenches as she says nothing, only tightens her hold on Mira's shaking frame.

"Where is she?" Mira asks, and Lucy shakes her head.

"We don't know. Karen got her."

Mira freezes up at the name, body going disturbingly rigid, especially as tears continue to stream down her cheeks and drop to the fabric of her pants.

"She suffered," Mira whispers.

"Most likely," Lucy answers. There's no point in lying. Not when the all seem to know who they're dealing with. How sadistic Karen can be.

Mira huffs out a breath as a small smile tugs at her mouth. "She's strong. She wouldn't break."

Lucy pulls back. "No. She wouldn't. She loves all of us too much. She loves you too much."

Hair on the back of his neck pricks at another presence, but it's one he knows. Gray fills the doorway for only a second before he's striding over to Lucy and Mira and sitting with them, hand reaching for Mira's and giving it a squeeze.

"I can't…" Mira's voice is weak as she stares down at Gray's hand in hers and unfurls her fingers, "she was just with me…" She looks up at Gray and tightens her hold on him. "Just like this. Right here."

"I know," Gray breathes, "she was doing a perimeter check when we left. Lucy protected one of us from Karen and got hurt. She was protecting all of us when we couldn't fight back."

Mira nods to herself and presses her lips together.

…right. She was doing a perimeter check to make sure that the defences were strong while Lucy's magic was fluctuating. Lucy who was drained from having so many familiars bonded to her using her magic. Lucy who's magic he had used in a frenzy when he ran off because he couldn't hold his shit together for more than two seconds.

Lucy who was only hurt because he'd had a fucking meltdown. Lucy who wouldn't have been hurt if he'd never run away from Karen in the first place, and if Lucy had never found him she never would have gotten hurt, the barriers never would have fell and Cana wouldn't be dead.

This is all his fault.

It wrenches in his gut so hard it has him keeling over with teeth shredding through the skin of his inner cheek. The familiar tang of blood fills his mouth and churns his stomach, only making the feeling worse as he curls up tighter. He needs to leave. He needs to just disappear before any more of his mistakes fuck up this family more than he already has.

"Hey."

His head snaps up, his sight full of golden eyes and hair, as warmth comes to cradle his face. Thumbs brush old and fresh tears away and trail over his cheeks and trace his cheekbones. He selfishly leans into Lucy's palm and blinks slowly, still sluggish from everything, seeking a comfort he doesn't deserve.

"This," she says softly, pausing until he looks up at her, "is not your fault."

Yeah. It is.

"No, it's not." She argues with his silent thoughts. "You are not responsible for this. This is Karen's doing. Her actions are to blame. Not you. Not me. Not Cana. Not anyone."

He shakes his head and pulls back from her, pushing himself up to sit with his knees to his chest. He wraps his arms around them and tugs them tight, rocking just slightly. It does nothing to ease the feeling, only adds to the pressure building in his body.

And now he's being a fucking baby about feeling guilty when everyone just lost someone they've loved for years. They're the ones who need to be grieving right now, not worrying about him and his sorry-ass. They need to figure out what to do about Karen because if they don't then this is going to happen again. He's the one who brought her here. He's the one who fucked everything up. He's the one who's going to be responsible of slowly, one by one killing every, single, good witch and familiar in existence and destroying the people who have been trying to liberate his kin from the hands of those who have been oppressing them for years. It'll be all his fault and he'll be back in a cold basement with his chest expanding until it feels like it's going to explode and if he'd just died then, none of this would have happened.

"I apologize for this ahead of time."

He jerks against a pressure circling his back. He feels hair sliding over his skin and his own breath blowing back in his face in quick puffs from where he's pressed into a neck that isn't his. He can feel it pulse against the bridge of his nose and he can feel the air in the room scraping down his spine and crawling in his nerves and the acid eating away at him from the inside as he tries to get away from it. From all the feeling.

The pressure around him increases as gentle vibrations buzz through his ear. It seeps into his muscles. The tighter the hold, the greater the amount of force he feels, the more he comes back to himself and the easier it is for him to breathe. Slower. Easier. The blood rushing in his ear quiets down enough for him to make out the sound right next to him.

Singing.

"Breathe. When it gets too much to hear, just breathe. When it gets too much to feel, just breathe. When you feel your mind is gone, please breathe, just breathe. Breathe for me."

Flowers. He can smell flowers.

"Breathe. When you feel you're set on fire, just breathe. When the world is crumbling down, just breathe. When you've lost it all please, just breathe. Breathe. Come back to me."

Her arms are bare on the skin of his back. Warm. Radiating energy that pulses through and around him…them. He shudders at the nails brushing through his hair as he falls into her hold.

"And though it's dark, and the light's away. And though your sight's colour, fades out to grey. And though your soul, screams out in pain. Your strength won't fade. Your heart is strong. You will survive this. You're not alone."

He breathes heavily against her shoulder, and it takes a minute for him to realize he's gripping at fabric and clinging onto her. It's foreign. He can't remember the last time he was held like this.

It brings a new wave of tears that soak into the velvet of her cloak.

"This isn't your fault," Lucy says softly, again, continuing to comb through his hair with her fingers. "Nobody blames you for this."

He blames himself. Mira probably blames him too.

Whether or not they see it as his fault, it is. He knows it is. He's responsible for this. It wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for him. If he'd just stayed where he was supposed to…if he'd hidden his trail better so Karen hadn't been there when Lucy had found him…maybe it would have been different.

He'll be the one to find her this time. He'll be the one to find her, and when he does, he'll kill her.

For Lucy.

Mira.

Cana.

Loke.

Gray.

He'll kill her for every damn person she's ever tortured, manipulated, murdered, and destroyed. It doesn't matter what happens to him.

He will make her pay.

—

They stay like that until he's so out of his head he can't tell how much time has passed. Her hands never still. Playing with the thick strands of pink. Fingertips running over the short hair of his undercut.

He continues to breathe into her shoulder and focus on the sound of air rushing over skin. It's loud, and a little shaky, but he focuses on evening it out and on the feel of his heart. His strength leaves him and he swallows as he manages to let his eyes open. Though he's so close to Lucy he can't focus on a thing, it's still more grounding to have a field of vision at all.

Her hands come to rest on his shoulders as he pulls back. He doesn't meet her gaze…can't meet her gaze, but he can see her shifting this way and that to try and get his attention. He just…can't.

His stomach sinks as she stands.

All he seems to be doing is screwing everything up.

Two hands appear right in front of him, and this time he has no control over his head snapping up to Lucy.

"C'mon." She stretches her hands toward him further.

He takes them.

She pulls him to standing and heads back in the direction of Gray and Mira, which has him digging his heels in. He can't go over there. He can't face them after this.

Lucy takes one look and seems to understand, so she gives his hand a squeeze and gestures toward the doorway with a tilt of the chin.

"I'll meet you in the hall, okay?"

He meets her golden gaze before walking out of the room.

The halls are darker this time.

Torches still line the walls, but instead of the orange and yellow flames he'd seen last time, they burned a deep blue, slow and steady. It casts the surrounding dirt in a sort of deep, indigo hue and slightly calms the growing nausea eating at him.

There's a touch to his arm and he turns to Lucy.

She doesn't say anything, just turns down the hall and walks slower than normal until he follows her.

It's a little unsettling, how narrow the halls are, how often they change and disappear from view. It's a maze he doesn't have the focus to map out right now to keep himself oriented, and it's not a feeling he's used to having. Whether or not he knows what specific area he's in, he always knows an escape route. He's always able to figure out how to move around and get where he needs to go.

It makes his skin prick with needles and breathing come faster.

A hand comes to circle his wrist.

"It's okay," Lucy says gently.

The next breath comes deep and easy.

She lets go of him only when they come to a large slab of wall that she needs both hands to press against, palms alit with a dull glow of magic as the dirt crumbles and curls open to reveal a large dim cavern.

This one is lined in stone, glistening with water as it trickles in from a long line in the ceiling, a constant waterfall straight down the center that collects into a pool within the sunken floor's concave. It glows a bright, iridescent orange. Surrounding the edges of the pool are tall, tapered spikes that stretch up and to mirror the stalactite drips protruding from the ceiling. A few have grown so long they've merged with their mirrors to form hourglass columns that reflect the fire of the walls, flickering over the rock ridges.

The room is silent, save the rush of water from the ceiling to the ground, and dripping from the stalactite. The smell of wet rock…reminds him of the rain outside.

He'd always loved the smell of the rain.

There's a rustle of fabric next to him before Lucy's pooling her clothes at her feet and turning her back to him. She's bare with the exception of bandages wrapped around her waist and chest, a new set drenched in a sweet-smelling salve he can't quite place the origin of. Must've gotten rewrapped when he'd gone outside before.

"Can you cut through these, please?"

He sharpens the scales of his claws and slices through them easily.

Lucy forms a ball with the tattered gauze to toss in with her cloak and pants before wading into the pool to stand beneath the water. The skin the bandages hadn't reached have remnants of blood and dirt that easily wash away under the steady fall.

He undoes the leather knot around his waist before going to join her.

The water isn't as cold as he'd expected it to be. It's lukewarm, which is a blessing to his overheated skin and soothing to his muddled thoughts. It soaks into his hair, rolls over his shoulders and down his spine and runs off the tips of his fingers. With his head bowed and eyes closed it trails down the ridges of his face and drips off the tip of his nose and chin.

It clears his mind.

He starts rubbing at his arms, lifting the rest of the dirt Lucy hadn't gotten the day before and watching it disappear beneath the steady orange glow of the room. He scrubs with his knuckles at his face, neck, over the sigil of his chest, stomach. He does his best to get at his back, but he can't reach and doesn't feel like clawing at the skin and losing any more blood than he has the past couple days.

"Want me to get it?"

He glances over to Lucy, wet hair spread out over her chest keeping her covered. She's rubbing at her own arms and when he cocks his head to one side, her gaze falls to his back.

He studies her face, how open it is. How genuine, even when it's neutral in its expression. He can almost feel the pressure she's suppressing behind her eyes in trying not to cry. She's holding herself together through sheer will.

He lets his gaze drop and offers his back to her.

He flinches at first, when the tips of her fingers find the ridges of a few of the thicker scars on his back. The numbness in most of them isn't too painful, but there are a few where the severed nerves cut deep at any touch. He's had to forego shirts because of it.

"Sorry," she whispers, before pressing her full palms to him and working over the expanse of his shoulder-blades.

He nearly melts backward into her hands as they dig into the muscle of his back and neck. Under the streaming water they're slippery and slick, and his neck rolls forward as his chin falls to his chest. Though he's sure the dirt isn't as caked on as he feels it is, everything washing away leaves him feeling lighter.

Even after she's finished getting at his back, her touch lingers.

"You didn't deserve these," she says, nails resting just beneath one of what he knows to be his larger scars, "you know that, right?"

He tilts his face to the ceiling, allowing his hair to be pulled back by the waterfall before leaning back to look at her. She's so focused on the scars she doesn't even notice.

"There's nothing you could've done to deserve this."

He begs to differ.

He's done things he's not proud of that he definitely would deserve a lashing for, but what he'd done and gotten those particular marks for? Yeah. Not something that was worthy of that kind of punishment.

Can't have your familiars starving to death now, can you? Even if you're intentionally keeping them weak you still need them alive and functioning for whatever reason you've decided to become a bloodthirsty, power-hungry witch.

Her hands come up to rest on his shoulders and push as if to turn him around. He raises an eyebrow at her and when she finally meets his gaze, she simply says, "C'mon. Turn around."

So he does.

He watches as she slowly reaches up, one hand on either side of his head, and he has to fight to keep his eyes open as her fingers work their way into his hair. He misses when it was longer at the base of his neck, but as she gently pulls at the strands and works on scrubbing through them, he can only be grateful he hadn't lost it all.

"I don't have any wash on me right now, so this'll have to do until I can get some."

He nods.

She avoids his horns and is careful as to how she brushes the hair away from his ears in an effort to avoid his previous piercings. He's close to being lulled into sleeping standing up when the rumble of a shifting wall has him back on alert.

The familiar feeling of magic has him back at ease right away.

"Hey," Gray's voice is soft as his eyes focus in on him, "feeling any better?"

He breathes in steady, and then out before rolling his shoulders back and letting out a soft rumble and wave of contentment through the bond.

"Good," Gray smiles, gaze falling to the clothes on the ground, and then Lucy. "Unwrapping those already?"

Lucy presses the palms of her hands into her lower back and stretches her spine in a long arch with a satisfying few pops. "Yeah, I really needed to. They were way too tight this time. Especially the first set when I was healing. Were you worried about me or something?" Lucy teases.

Gray shakes his head. "Nah. Yukino did the wraps this time."

Lucy brow furrows. "Really? Why?"

"She kicked us all out of the room." Yeah, and Gray had not been happy about it. His irritation reflects on his face even now.

Lucy's frown deepens. "Again, why? You're always with me and helping me when I'm injured."

"She didn't want more people than necessary seeing you naked," Gray says, deadpan.

Lucy scoffs. "As if I care about that when it comes to you guys. You're my family and in this world? Modesty is so unimportant."

Gray snorts. "Couldn't have put it better myself." His smile falls and turns into something thoughtful. "Still, you weren't awake to give consent and it isn't her decision to make."

Lucy hums. "Yeah, I guess I get that. She's never had to patch me up like this before so I guess we should let her know for the future."

"Yeah, cause next time I'm not letting anyone kick me out of that room." Gray crosses his arms over his chest. "She's lucky I let her get away with it."

Lucy lets out a light laugh.

"So, need anything?" she asks.

"Hm?" Gray starts slightly. "Oh, yeah. Just here to let you know Mira woke up and there's something I need your help with once you're done here."

"She okay?"

"Yeah. Just letting you know. I'm gunna take her for some fresh air."

Lucy lets out a soft noise of acknowledgement. "Alright, sure thing. We'll meet you outside."

Gray nods and leaves.

"Alright," Lucy stretches her arms overhead and grunts a muffled sigh. "Let's finish up and head back."

As she starts to work on her own hair, he scrapes at his teeth and uses bits of fire to burn at the film before rinsing with water. His tongue feels weird in his mouth, foreign and still a little sore, but he's grateful to be rid of the metal. He can more precisely feel the ridges of his teeth, gums and inner cheeks and he feels a hell of a lot cleaner once he's spit everything out.

Lucy's movements draw his attention and his stomach sinks.

With her back now exposed and bare in the light of the cave, he can see the criss-cross of healed claw marks left by his hands. They're dark. Thick. Raised. Angry. Bright against the lighter pigment of the otherwise flawless skin of her back.

Guilt roils in his gut.

"Hey, none of that now."

She's turned to face him again.

So much gold.

"You didn't mean to," she tells him, cradling his cheeks again and he can't help but wonder about just how easy it seemed for her to initiate contact, and for him to not balk at it. "You didn't mean to. It wasn't your fault."

Of course it was his fault. He was the one that did it.

"You weren't in control of your actions. It happens." She smiles up at him and really. How can she smile at him like that?

He shakes his head.

She sighs. "Fine, then. If you insist on blaming yourself, then I forgive you."

His eyes snap to hers.

Her smile is warm. Soft. Her voice seeps into his chest and seems to force away the acid eating at him as she brushes some hair from his face. "If you insist on feeling guilty and taking blame for something that wasn't your fault, then I forgive you."

He bites his lip, hard.

She rests a hand on the center of his chest and keeps her eyes focused on him as pressure builds behind his.

"I forgive you," she whispers.

And when a fresh wave of tears brim, he lets her guide him to the skin of her neck so he can hide his face in her curtain of wet hair as they fall.

—

When they find Mira and Gray outside, they're sitting at the very top of the hill in a pile of leaves and they aren't alone. Yukino and Lyon sit beside them, close enough for comfort, but not enough to crowd. Wendy isn't there. She doesn't seem to be anywhere close either.

He sniffs the air for Wendy's scent but comes up empty.

Gray answers his unspoken question. "Wendy's inside helping out with a couple injuries. She's safe."

He nods.

Lucy moves to sit opposite Gray and Mira.

He hesitates.

He bites at his inner cheek and looks around, wondering where he can go to hide or maybe even get back inside. He doesn't belong here with them. Not these guys who've known each other this long. Not when he's been involved in the reason for what they're all going through in the first place.

"Hey."

Mira's eyes are blue. They're so so blue. They swim with pain and sadness and love and they root him to the spot and keep him from taking any sort of step away from where he is now.

"I haven't met you yet, you're the newbie, right? Gray's been telling me about you."

He doesn't answer. He just looks away and shuffles over across from her, next to Lucy. He can't bring himself to sit down on his own, the guilt bubbling in his stomach won't let him.

Lucy's hand finds one of his hanging at his side, and she gently tugs at his claws to get him to take a seat next to her. "C'mon."

He presses his lips together.

"It's okay," Lucy smiles up at him. "C'mon. Sit with us."

"We don't bite," Mira says. The joke is lacking in energy. He can hear it. He can feel how much she's trying to be okay. The amount of effort she's putting in to make him feel comfortable.

He nearly falls to his knees and presses his forehead to the ground in front of her, hands on either side of his ears.

There is complete silence before a slight shuffling.

"Hey," Mira repeats, and he knows she wants him to look at her but he can't. He can't.

He presses his forehead further into the leaves.

"I'd pull you up myself but I know you're not a big fan of being touched," Mira says, "so please don't make me make you uncomfortable. Please. Because I will if it means getting you to stop apologizing for something that isn't your fault."

He pushes himself up so he's on his hands and knees, but can't bring himself to meet her eyes.

"Cana was someone who looked out for everyone, whether she knew them or not." He watches Mira move from kneeling to cross-legged and her hands come to clasp together in her lap. "She threw herself head first into everything, dug into what your problems were, yanked them out of you, and stripped them bare with such cold logic you had no choice but to drop whatever stupid thing you were lying to yourself about."

Gray and Lucy let out a muffled laugh and hum of acknowledgement.

"More times than I can count she's thrown herself in the line of fire for someone else," Mira sighs. "I knew what I was getting into when she and I got together. I knew at some point she wouldn't be coming home. That's just the world we live in. The fact that you can trace events back to yourself does not for a second mean that you are the cause of this. Karen is."

He chances a glance up at her.

Blue.

Deep blue holds him again, with an icy warmth that chills him to the core. Shocks him to the bone with no other choice but to listen to everything she's telling him.

Seems to him like Cana took after her.

"I don't blame you," Mira tells him. "You are not at fault. Please don't feel guilty about something you had no part in or control over. Leave the blame to the person who killed her."

He doesn't know how to do that.

Soft hands find his shoulders and pull him back to sitting on his heels. Lucy gives him a slight smile and squeeze before turning her attention to Mira herself. "Gray said you needed my help?"

Mira tilts her head to one side. "What do you mean?"

Gray rubs at the back of his neck. "Sorry, Lucy, I didn't mean Mira was asking for it. I just thought that you could help her."

Lucy looks back and forth between Mira and Gray. "With what exactly?"

Gray looks to Mira who looks just as confused as Lucy. Mira's eyes narrow as they focus in on Gray and Gray kind of shrinks beneath Mira's pointed stare before his expression melts to one of compassion.

"You said you couldn't remember the last thing Cana said to you," Gray tells her, and Mira freezes. "I figured Lucy could find that memory for you and show you."

"Right." Mira's voice cracks.

She doesn't need to have magic running through her for him to pick up on the sudden change in her.

She looks away and covers her face, and then Gray is right there, coming in close. "Hey," he says softly, "I'm sorry. I should've asked and shouldn't have sprung this on you—"

"It's not that," Mira's breath hitches as tears roll down the skin not hidden by her hand, "it's just…"

She lets her arms fall. Slitted eyes stare vacantly at the ground in front of her.

"What kind of person am I to not be able to remember the last thing my dead fiancée said to me?"

"Mira, no."

Lucy shoots to her hands and knees to sit right in front of Mira and wrap her arms around her. Mira lets out a strangled sob as she clutches at Lucy's back and hides her face in Lucy's shoulder. The quieter she gets, the tighter her fists clench until it tears from her throat, muted only by the fabric of Lucy's clothes.

"I c—" Mira's breathing stutters, words lost in between, `"—I can't remem—"

Lucy rocks her gently, side to side.

"You never think your last conversation with someone is going to be your last," Lucy says softly, brushing Mira's hair from her face even as Mira continues to hide in her shoulder. "And unfortunately, the mundane conversations we have every day aren't the ones that stand out. Not remembering doesn't make you a bad person and you know Cana would threaten to kick your ass for thinking so."

Mira nods against Lucy and Lucy just holds her tighter.

"She loved you with everything she had, Mira. The fact that you two were so sickeningly domestic to the point things start to blend together is what you should be focusing on."

Mira lets out a wet laugh at 'sickeningly mundane' and moves ever so slightly so her eyes are visible, but mouth still covered. She mumbles something into Lucy's shoulder and Lucy pulls back to hear better. "What was that?"

"I said you're right," Mira whispers.

Lucy situates herself back cross-legged.

"Do you want me to find it for you? I can. But only if you want me to."

Mira keeps her head bowed and picks at her fingernails. The wind tangles in her hair, bringing a few coloured leaves with it, stark red against bright silver. Lucy absently pulls them out and brushes the displaced locks back behind her ear.

"Yes. Please."

"Okay," Lucy lets out a breath and shifts in place before focusing in on Mira. "You do remember how it works though, right? When I show you memories, only you can see them, but when I'm looking for or being shown memories, those in direct proximity can see too. I have no control over that."

Mira nods. "Yeah. I know. I don't mind."

"Okay," Lucy sighs, looking around to everyone individually and landing on Mira last. "About three days ago would you say?"

"Yeah."

Lucy brings her hands up to Mira's face. Thumbs come to rest just between her brows, first and second fingers on her temple and the last two curling around the base of her jaw. They just barely touch Mira's face and he can feel his own skin prick with a ghost sensation.

"Here we go," Lucy breathes, closing her eyes. Mira does too, but he can't look away.

The light from Lucy's fingers warms a light gold, iridescent within the tiny threads that appear from finger to skin. They slope from thumb to finger just over Mira's eyebrows, temple to jaw and curve down to her chin. Then up the ridges of her lips, along the bridge of her nose, back past the thumbs to the center of her forehead.

The gold pools and shapes into the image of a third eye.

It's mesmerizing.

Magic thrums through him, hypnotic, dazing, enthralling. It buzzes beneath his skin, threatening to burst out and break free—

Lucy leans forward. Presses her forehead to Mira's.

—and it does.

—

She wakes to a soft pressure on her cheek and her source of warmth disappearing.

"Mmnnnh."

She lets out a tired whimper and manages to hook her fingers into fabric to bring the warmth back. There's a slight rumble against her cheek as she buries her face into soft skin.

"Mira, I have to go."

She shakes her head and pulls her pillow back in closer.

Lips find her temple, cheekbone, nose, mouth. Mira lets out a muffled moan as Cana rolls over her to press her into the mattress and she hooks a thigh over Cana's hip to keep her close.

Cana lets out a pained groan. "Babe, you make it really hard to leave."

"Why are you leaving?" she asks against Cana's lips, fingers trailing up sides until Cana's shuddering above her and bracing herself against the wall to stay up.

"New binding," Cana breathes against her skin, a little ragged. "Means dinner tonight. Gotta go welcome the newbie."

Cana drags her lips and teeth along the skin of Mira's neck and she hums, content. "Can't skip this one?"

"I skipped the last one," Cana sighs, shifting to lay down again, still lazily sucking the skin at the base of her throat, "wanna stay here with you, but this one's unplanned. Might need to help out."

She sighs and hides her face under Cana's jaw. "Unplanned?"

Cana nods. "Yeah. We haven't met anyone since Sherria, so I gotta go see what's going on. Might be Karen."

She lets out a soft sound of protest. "Do you have to go now?"

Cana goes silent for a few moments before tightening arms around Mira and snuggling deeper under the covers. "Alright. I'll be late this time."

"So you'll be on time?"

"On time is late."

She laughs. "Who'd expect you to be someone who's punctual?"

Cana's fingers find her sides and then she's squirming and laughing, trying not to flail in a way that'll hurt the love of her life who decides tickle torture is the best form of playful punishment.

Lips drink down her laughs. Hands roam over curves. Thumbs smooth over breasts. Breathing shortens. Backs arch. Moans draw from throats.

They doze for hours until she forgets whether it's even happened. Whether the bed shifts. Whether the blankets are tucked in around her. Whether words are whispered against her skin.

"You are the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I love you so fucking much."

She doesn't know if it was real or a dream, and her tongue is so heavy in her mouth she can't answer before she's drawn back down to sleep.

—

His mind is foggy when his vision returns.

His heart aches.

Cana.

His focus snaps back at the sound of a soft sniffle amidst the silent group. Mira wipes at her eyes with the heels of her palms and Lucy rests her hands on Mira's thighs with a soft squeeze.

Mira lets out a quick breath as her mouth pulls into a smile.

"Of course she'd've said that," she lets out a quiet laugh, "the sap."

Lucy presses her lips into a line of a smile and Gray comes in to wrap an arm around Mira's shoulders. Mira lets herself fall into Gray and closes her eyes with a tired sigh.

"I was so tired, I couldn't remember what was real and what was a dream," Mira says, drawing her knees to her chest. "It was driving me crazy."

"Definitely real," Lucy says, shuffling back a bit and crossing her arms.

Mira nods. "I know. Thank you, Lucy."

Lucy smiles. "Of course. Anytime."

His attention is caught by Gray moving to say something, and seemingly deciding against it. Gray's eyes flicker between his lap, Mira, and Lucy before he rubs at them with his free hand and lets out a low hum.

Lucy seems to pick up on it and stares at Gray with a raised brow.

"What?" he asks.

Lucy blinks. "I dunno. You're the one thinking too hard. You tell me."

Mira opens her eyes and glances up at Gray from her place on his shoulder. There's a spike in anxiety he can feel from Gray through the bond that's almost immediately counteracted with a wave of peace.

Gray lets out a low breath, "Thanks, Yukino."

"Anytime."

He jolts in place and snaps his attention over to Yukino and Lyon.

He'd forgotten they were there with how quiet they are. To be expected considering.

Though…Lyon doesn't seem to be in a state he'd expect him to be in.

Lyon sits, legs bent into an 'x' with his knees up and elbows slung over. His hair's in his eyes, but not enough his downcast gaze can't be seen. He looks a little out of it and though his hands are slack, the tension in his body and energy is suffocating to watch. His breathing is extremely shallow and with a swallow, his lower lip cracks.

Lyon is not okay.

He manages to catch Lucy's gaze and direct hers over to where Lyon's sitting. With Mira watching Lucy closely, she follows Lucy's line of sight over to Lyon herself and sits up to face him.

"Lyon?"

Lyon doesn't move.

"Lyon."

Still doesn't move.

Yukino brings a hand up to rest on his shoulder and Lyon jerks beneath the touch, flinching into a sitting position at attention, ready for some sort of order. When he realizes it's Yukino, Lyon seems to come back to himself and relaxes.

"Need anything?" he asks Yukino. "You alright?"

Yukino tilts her head to one side, "That should be my question. You were zoned out for a little while there. Are you okay?"

Lyon looks away, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just…thinking."

Lucy shifts. "About?"

"Nothing."

Lyon curls slightly in to himself, doing his best to relax into a neutral expression, but Gray isn't having any of it.

"You're allowed to be affected, you know," he tells Lyon.

Lyon shakes his head. "I didn't know her as well as you guys did."

"Doesn't change the fact that you knew her," Mira says softly. "She clearly meant something to you…unless I'm wrong?"

Mira's expression is open, questioning, as she continues to look at Lyon and Lyon continues to avoid her eyes. He fidgets with his fingers and bites at his lip, licking at the blood to clear it away. Mira remains silent as Lyon's thoughts seem to run in circles before he eventually relents and deflates a bit.

"One of the first times I'd met her," Lyon starts, deliberately looking away from Mira, "she really helped me with something. It was so long ago I don't remember everything she said but…she saved me there for a minute." He glances at Mira. "I think she'd only just met you at the time."

"Yeah?" Mira asks, breathless.

Lyon manages to hold her gaze for a split second before he has to stop. "Yeah."

Yukino leans into Lyon and threads her fingers through his to give them a quick squeeze. "Do you want to share, maybe?"

Lyon looks from Yukino, to Gray, to Lucy, and then Mira.

Mira's eyes. Mira's eyes full of pain, and heartbreak. Mira's eyes full of longing, full of missing someone who was gone. Looking for anything to listen to or hold onto about Cana that she didn't already know. Wanting to hear about her fiancée. Mira's eyes, staring at Lyon with such hope and emotion he can see the second Lyon's resolve crumbles.

"Sure," he says softly, looking to Lucy. "Do you remember that time Yukino got really hurt and you were working on her for hours?"

"Back before we had healing magic?" Lucy asks.

Lyon nods.

"Yeah. I think I know what time you're talking about, though it may take a bit of sifting."

Lyon takes a deep breath as Lucy moves to sit in front of him. "You'd yelled at me and thrown me out in the hall because I threatened to shove you through a wall, and Gray broke the door throwing me through it."

Lucy nods. "Yeah. I remember that one."

Similar to what she'd done with Yukino, Lucy arranges her fingers across the points on Lyon's face, and pauses.

"Ready?" she asks, focused mainly on Lyon but directed at everybody.

There's a collective hum that Lucy responds to by wrapping the light along the planes of Lyon's face, and a collective intake of breath as Lucy leans in to rest her forehead against Lyon's.

—

Everything aches.

His back from where it'd hit the door. His head when he'd landed on the floor. The sides of his hands from pounding on the huge sheet of glass Gray put up to keep him out of the med bay.

Everything.

His witch is in there dying. His witch is in there dying and he's stuck out here, useless, left to pace a hole into the ground with no idea what the hell is happening in there.

Lucy doesn't even have healing magic, what in the world could she be doing right now to help.

"What're you doin' out here? I thought you'd be in there."

He has to refrain from punching the wall next to him.

"Gray kicked me out," he tells her instead, letting his head fall back to rest against the dirt, "said I was interfering."

"…well that's not like you." Cana traverses the length of the hall to stand above him and crosses her arms. "You never lose your cool." She laughs. "Heh. Get it? Cool?"

"Shut the fuck up, Cana," Lyon snarls.

"Woah, okay then," Cana moves to plop down next to him and pulls her knees up to lean on her thighs, "what's going on?"

"What do you think is going on," he asks, rage building back up in his chest, "Yukino's got a fucking hole in her stomach and I'm stuck out here when I should be in there." He gestures waywardly toward the makeshift ice door.

"No, I know that," Cana says. "I've been reworking the barriers today so I heard once I got back in and then came straight here. I mean what's going on with you?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing."

Cana sighs. "Now if that were true, we wouldn't be having this conversation because you'd be in there," she points at the ice, "with Yukino. So what happened?"

His throat feels tight and his eyes burn.

"I failed. That's what happened."

He swallows down the lump in his throat and squeezes his eyes tight, giving them a rub with his thumb and forefinger. Light bursts behind his eyelids and when he opens them again and the black fades back out, there's a water-skin right in front of him.

He takes it, pops the lid open, and downs a few gulps in one swift movement.

He lets out a few coughs as the alcohol burns down his throat and a few tears escape. Cana takes it back as he hacks up half a lung and drinks a bit herself before capping it.

"What happened?" she asks again.

Lyon clenches his jaw and takes a deep breath.

"We're working with this new familiar," he tells her, rubbing at his eyes again. "They're really fucked up. Couple witches back was someone named Karen? I dunno. They haven't said much."

He lays his head to one side to stretch out his neck and take a few seconds.

"I'm usually right there with her, ready, during Yukino's first few times with them. They attack her and I stop them. They attack me, and I stop them. Sometimes she uses her voice to help them calm down and ease their feelings if they're out of control." Lyon clenches a fist and then flinches at how it pulls at raw skin. "This one didn't take too kindly to that…and I wasn't there."

"Lyon, you can't be there all the time—"

"Like hell I can't," he snaps at Cana, and Cana doesn't so much as blink at his sudden movement to looking at her. "It's my job. I take care of her. We don't have a healer anymore, Cana. If she gets hurt and we don't have someone who can help…"

Lyon deflates.

"I can't let anything happen to her. I'm not supposed to let anything happen to her. This is all my fault," he whispers.

"You aren't responsible for anything but yourself, Lyon," Cana says, and he goes to whirl on her again but she stops him by holding up a hand to get him to stop. "Hear me out."

He shuts up. Reluctantly.

"This world is fucked up," she sighs, twisting her wrist to twirl her water-skin in circles. "This world is so fucked up that bad things are going to happen no matter what. We're going to get hurt whether its minor, or severely. It's going to happen."

"Not if—"

Cana whacks him on the knee with the water-skin. "Let me finish."

He growls under his breath.

"Yeah yeah, right back at ya," Cana rolls her eyes and faces forward again. "Just because she got hurt, doesn't mean you failed. And that doesn't mean you're responsible for the lives of others. Do you know how much you've done for her? Do you know how many times you've saved her?"

"…well, I mean…I'm usually around to protect her from—"

"That's not what I'm talking about, Lyon," Cana says, a slight smile on her lips. "I mean emotionally. Do you know how many times you've saved her spirit?"

…what?

Cana hums. "I'll take that as a no then," a bright smile crosses her face, "she talks about it to Lucy all the time when you're off somewhere else. She never stops singing your praises."

What?

"Before you, Lyon, Yukino didn't think much of herself. Her parents weren't very good to her, and after they died she wasn't surrounded by the best people either. The other witches around her would treat her like a familiar alongside their familiars since by their standards, 'her magic was lame and completely pointless, so who would even care about her anyway if she couldn't win any fights?'"

How had he not known this?

That seems to be written on his face because Cana answers his unspoken question. "She'd been taking care of you and then just figured there was no reason to bring it up. Because of you she hasn't thought about it in years. You're the first person to ever make her feel like she's worth protecting. Worth loving. Worth something at all."

"But she is," he says softly. "I'd do anything for her."

"And she'd do anything for you," Cana smiles, "because she loves you and you love her and you're family. You could never fail her even if you tried."

Lyon falls forward, head bowed into his hands between his legs. "Cana, if she dies…"

"You'd know."

He swallows.

"Focus in on your origin for me."

He breathes deep and pulls his focus to his chest. To the nearly microscopic energetic layer encircling the muscle of his heart. It swirls with magic. Beats with every thrum of his blood. Grows with each passing second through the binding in his ear. The magic is a little different though. Feels a little different in his veins. Tastes a little different on his tongue.

"Feel it?" she asks.

He nods.

"Exactly."

He bites his lip. Of course. He knows this. Of course.

"Her magic isn't fluctuating. She isn't going anywhere."

"Feels different," he mumbles.

Cana nods. "Lucy probably gave her a blood and magic infusion. She's been using my barrier magic a bunch so maybe she's holding things together until they start to heal on their own?"

He doesn't quite know what to say to that, and when Cana offers him the alcohol again, he takes it. "I can't let this happen to her again. Ever." He takes a swig.

"Just be careful about that," she tells him, letting her legs fall so she can pull them under her cross-legged. "It's easy to get protective in a controlling way."

"Never," Lyon growls. "I would never do that."

Cana smiles. "I know. You're just gunna watch everyone a million times closer than you usually do for any sign of threat."

Lyon downs the rest of the alcohol while staring pointedly at Cana.

She takes it back from him.

"You're lucky I've been cutting back or else I'd've had to kick your ass for drinking all my booze," she glares playfully before hooking the water-skin back to her belt.

Lyon blinks. "You're cutting back on drinking?"

"Yep," Cana says, popping the 'p'.

"…who the hell are you and what have you done with Cana?"

Cana laughs, "I'm still me. I've just met someone."

He watches in awe as every feature of her face relaxes from the worry he's used to seeing, into one of fond adoration. Eyes bright. Smile soft. Cheeks flushed—and not from the few gulps of alcohol she'd had with him. She stares at the ground, gaze unseeing to the physical world around her and completely focused in on a memory.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she breathes, biting at her lower lip. "Yeah, I have. She's amazing."

"She?" he asks.

Cana raises an eyebrow, "Yeah. She. Got a problem with that?"

Lyon scoffs, "Fuck no. I just meant for you to tell me her name."

"Oh," Cana flushes and rubs at the back of her neck. "Sorry. Been given some real shit for that with a couple past witches of mine, and even some familiars. Never know who's gunna have a problem with it."

Lyon rolls his eyes. "Stupidest fucking thing to get worked up over."

"Right?" Cana snickers.

Lyon smirks. "She must be something really amazing if she's gotten you to cut back on the drinking like that."

Cana shakes her head. "She didn't get me to do anything. I'm doing it on my own because she deserves someone who isn't stuck in a drunken daze all the time…and I can't use it as a crutch forever if I'm going to be okay."

Changes like that have to come from yourself or they don't really stick. He knows Cana's relied on alcohol a lot in the few years he's known her so for her to meet someone who makes her want to take care of herself…this woman must be something really special.

Cana smiles.

"Her name is Mira. And I gotta shape up if I wanna be worthy of her."

—

When he comes to this time, he can smell salt and he can hear more crying. This one different than the last.

He blinks hard to clear his vision and when he does, he sees Yukino wrapped around Lyon.

And then it makes sense.

He's the first familiar in a long time to be bound outside their usual system. Familiars are brought in, shown the ropes, and choose whether or not they want a binding. Lucy and Yukino make it the familiar's choice, which also means the other familiars have time to meet and get used to and build trust with each other.

That's something his split-second binding didn't come with.

They don't know him. They don't know where he's been. Where he came from. They've figured some of it out from his situation and knowing who Karen is and what she does and from Wendy, but they don't know him.

He's a stranger who was bound to Karen, with a magic that could easily hurt anyone of Yukino's family.

Of course Lyon would have his guard up. Even if they have someone bound to Lucy who can heal them now. That instinct isn't something that disappears overnight. He knows that himself.

Lyon's like anyone who has people he loves. Would do anything to protect them.

And has those who love him in return.

"Don't ever feel like that again," Yukino whispers. "Don't you ever feel worthless because an accident happened. That was not your fault, why didn't you ever talk to me about this?"

Lyon closes his eyes and tightens his arm around Yukino's waist to draw her closer. "Sorry."

"Damn right you should be sorry," Yukino's voice cracks. Lyon loosens his hold to rub at her back. "Don't you ever feel how I used to. You aren't allowed. Not you."

Lyon rests the side of his head against Yukino's. "Only if you do the same."

She nods into his shoulder and readjusts so she's sitting in his lap with her legs around his waist. It frees the arm Lyon had been using to prop them up so he can support her when he moves to stand up.

"I think we're going to head in now. We'll gather everyone in the main, okay?" Lyon asks.

Lucy forces a small smile, "Sure. Take a minute. We'll be in in a little while for the briefing."

Lyon nods, "Alright, see you in there."

Lyon hikes Yukino up, secures one arm around her hips and uses his free hand to move her hair so he can see. He carefully starts down the side of the hill, but pauses briefly to look over Yukino's shoulder.

Lyon locks eyes with him.

It's only for a second, and thought it's mostly a neutral expression, it's also a kind of question. He can feel Lyon's intention. Lyon isn't going to apologize for the day before. He was protecting his witch and he will never apologize for that, but having him understand that there was a reason for those actions seems to be important.

He offers Lyon a slow blink in response, and with that, Lyon disappears back into the ground.

Mira doesn't seem like she knows what to do with the information given by Lyon's memory.

"She meant a lot to a lot of people," Mira muses, almost absently. "Just was how she was with everyone."

Gray smiles. "For the most part, yeah. She gave a lot of people the benefit of the doubt and did her best to call people out on their shit when they were being 'idiots' as she'd say. But she was a lot different when it came to you."

Mira tilts her head to one side, brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"She was always very blunt with us," Lucy says, shifting back to her original position beside Gray and leaning against him. "She would actively listen, she would come up with plans, she would get involved with the family, and she wouldn't be quiet about what she thought."

"She didn't sugar-coat." Gray looks fondly off to one side. "And it honestly helped so much with our plans. She was goal driven with us. She didn't talk about herself much."

"Oh but you," Lucy let out a soft laugh and looked to the sky. "You, Mira."

Mira blinked. "What?"

Gray joined Lucy with a chuckle of his own. "The way she would talk about you."

If anything, that only warped Mira's expression deeper into one of confusion.

Gray looks to Lucy. "You up for one more memory?"

Lucy looks back. "Yeah, sure. I'm doing alright."

Gray turns to Mira. "I've got one you might like to see. It's easier just to show you what I'm talking about…and I think it'll…" Gray trails off.

Gray turns to him.

"Last one. You alright? Lucy's memory magic is taxing sometimes since you're in that person's head and it can be difficult."

He nods. Yeah. He's alright. Tired, sure, but that's how he was before.

Lucy checks herself that he's alright before turning to Mira. "Last one. You ready?"

Mira nods.

Lucy takes a deep breath and once again positions her fingers along the points on Gray's face and calls upon her magic. The light has barely fused together into one continuous line along the ridges of his face before the memory surfaces.

Quick and voiceless.

—

He's threshing a sheaf of freshly cut wheat against the inside of a barrel when someone jumps on his back. "Heya, popsicle, how ya been?"

Gray sighs heavily and tosses the empty stalks into his discard pile. "You know jumping on me is dangerous, Cana."

"Eh," Cana slides down his back and rounds to stand in front of him, "that was one time, and it healed."

"You split my eyebrow open on a rock."

"It healed," Cana groaned, "haven't you forgiven me yet?"

"Doesn't mean I'm not going to bring it up sometimes," Gray smirks, and Cana gives him a light punch on the shoulder.

"You don't see me doing that," she comments.

Gray scoffs. "You mean you don't guilt me about your arm?"

"Hey, I'd just started building my house, alright? Crashing in yours and Lucy's was not a fun time for me. Set me back months."

Gray laughs. "Well, we have a healer now so that won't happen again."

"Good."

She looks good. Lighter. Less weighed down than the last time he saw her. Though they don't usually hold these parties for Yukino's bindings—Yukino prefers to do her own kind of ritual at her place—this one is different. This one is special.

They've got their first healer.

She's young. Blue hair. Eyes way too innocent for her own good. Took her awhile to warm up and she's particularly attached to Lyon for some reason Gray can't seem to understand. Lyon's particularly protective of her too, which isn't something Gray's ever seen from him before.

He was the one to start calling her Wendy because he couldn't stand being so impersonal, and she'd liked the name well enough to adopt it.

She's been through too much for someone so young. Losing the person she was closest to. She deserves the best celebration she can be given and he's glad it's going to be here at the cottage where he can make up the place.

"You're here later than usual," Gray comments, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow, "usually you're here before lights are up to help out with food. What kept you?"

Her face lights up like nothing he's ever seen before.

She beams.

She radiates something he's never felt, a happiness and swelling in the chest that is so strong through the bond he has a hard time resisting rubbing at his. Her eyes glaze over and the light reflects off them until they're twinkling. Her usual mask of playful snark and guard is gone.

She's pure emotion.

"Mira."

Gray's eyes widen in surprise, "Mira?"

"My girlfriend," Cana clarifies, smile getting even wider if that's even possible, "I met her about a decade ago, and we've been friends for awhile, but recently we've…gotten together and holy shit, Gray…" Cana trails off and she covers her face with her hands.

"She's my everything, y'know?" She wipes her hands down her cheeks and they come to rest on either side of her neck. "Like for the longest time, whenever I didn't see her, my heart hurt. It hurt so bad I'd almost end up crying and I didn't understand why it hurt so much. I miss you and Lucy and the rest of our family a bunch and it hurts sometimes, but not like this. Not this kind of pain."

Cana takes a deep breath and wraps her arms around her middle, hugging herself as the smile fades slightly.

"I got really jealous sometimes," she says, biting hard at her lip. "I'd get so upset I would stop talking to her because I didn't want to be angry with her. I didn't understand why her being with her other friends would hurt so much, because you're not supposed to be upset like this with your friends. You're supposed to be fine when they aren't with you…but I wasn't. I wasn't fine. And I didn't understand why until I was kissing her."

Tears fall from her eyes and stream down her cheeks, and he wraps her in his arms instantaneously. Though he can feel that most of her feelings are of happiness, there's a lingering pain she hasn't seem to have dealt with and all he can do is be there while she feels it. "Emotions are hard sometimes," he says.

"And it just…clicked. I love her, Gray. I love her more than I've ever loved anything in my life and when she kissed me back…" He can feel her teeth pressed against the skin of his shoulder as she smiles. "She kissed me back and I started crying because everything made sense."

Gray runs his fingers through her hair and presses his lips to the top of her head. Listening.

Her words. Her feelings.

They're too familiar.

"I'm so crazy about her. I swear, Gray. I'm going to marry that girl one day. When all this is over? And we're safe? I'm going to marry the fuck out of her and spoil her until she doesn't know what to do with herself." Cana lets out a wet laugh and Gray lets out one of his own. "I love her so fucking much, oh my god."

Too familiar.

His heart hurts.

His breathing turns shallow.

Cana pulls back but it barely registers. He really can't feel anything. His body's gone cold.

"Gray?"

He swallows, hard, and closes his eyes. Presses the heels of his hands into them until colour bursts behind his eyelids and he's clenching his jaw until it hurts. His neck strains. His chest strains. His back hurts.

He falls to his knees.

"Gray!"

Hands rest on his shoulders and then either side of his face, pulling his hands away and twisting his head from side to side. His vision dissolves back in, black back to colour, and he fights to catch his breath.

"Fuck," he whimpers, and he crumples forward.

"Gray," Cana's voice tries to harden but wavers with worry. "Gray, please talk to me. What's going on? Are you alright?"

Gray shakes his head as the tears build. "I love him."

Cana freezes. "What?"

"I love him, Cana," he breathes. "I haven't seen him in decades, but…fuck, I love him."

He can feel Cana stop breathing before fingers work into his hair.

"Loke?"

Gray nods.

"You didn't know?" she asks.

Gray shakes his head.

"You'd think you would," he can hear the smile in Cana's voice, "the way you talk about him…the few times you actually do talk about him. You light up, you know."

Gray snorts. "You're one to talk. You looked like the fucking sun earlier."

"Well if I'm the sun, then you look like the light from a full moon whenever you think about him," Cana says softly, carding through his hair as gently as possible. It's a windblown, sweaty mess from working in the small field all day, and the slight pulling sends shivers down his spine.

Gray swallows again.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" his voice cracks. Cana's skin is blurry from where his forehead rests against her collarbone, and his eyes hurt trying to focus. "How the hell did I not figure that out?"

Cana sighs. "We live in the middle of a warring dystopia, Gray. It's not something on our minds, really."

He gets it, he does, but it's crazy. It's crazy that he'd never thought about it before. It's crazy that Cana describing her heart hurting is the exact same thing he'd feel whenever he'd see Loke talking to another familiar sometimes. It's crazy that the ache he feels…the absence of Loke…is something that cripples him sometimes, something that makes him so anxious he can barely keep himself from jumping out of his skin and tearing through any and all trees to find him, wherever he is.

He'd always thought that it's just because Loke was his best friend…but…

Then again he'd never had anything else to compare it to.

The only other people in his life he'd ever felt so viscerally about, were Lucy and Cana, and those were entirely different from Loke. Lucy is an extension of himself. The other half of his head. His partner in anti-crime. She's his family. His sister. He would do anything for her. He would protect her to his last breath. He doesn't know what he'd do without her, and Cana is the same.

But Loke.

Thinking about Loke is something he feels in his heart. His origin. His body. His soul. He aches. He longs. He wants. He misses. He feels empty of a chunk of himself he hasn't felt since the last time he'd seen him.

Yet he can barely remember now what Loke looks like.

But he remembers him.

He remembers Loke's breath in his ear as they huddled in their cell. He remembers Loke's hands as they took care of the gashes and burns and breaks that would happen in the fights with the familiars of other witches. He remembers the rumble of Loke speaking, how it felt against his cheek whenever he'd wake up in the morning and Loke would be sleep-talking.

He could never forget that.

"It's okay," Cana whispers in his ear. The vibrations of her talking are different than Loke's and with that thought he can't stand feeling them anymore. It's too much. It's all too much.

He pulls away.

"I can't," he shakes his head and sits back, away from skin and hands and energy and feelings. "Too much…I can't—" his voice breaks and he closes his eyes. There's too much going on he doesn't know what to do.

"Breathe, Gray," Cana says. "In, one, two. Out, one, two. C'mon."

He shakes his head again, but copies the rhythm of her breathing anyway. He can feel the waves tingle through his body with each breath, and his heart slowing down every time he exhales.

It takes a little while, but eventually, he feels stable again.

"I didn't know," he whispers.

Cana hums.

"How could I not have known?" He sighs and pulls his knees up to his chest. He splays them and rests an elbow against his knee, and then his fist against his temple. "What the hell am I even going to do now? What do I do with this?"

"You find him."

Gray's gaze snaps to Cana's, and her mask his back. The mask of purpose. Of will. Of an iron determination that only stops once she's gotten what she's set out to do.

And this time it's directed at him.

With him.

"You find him. We help you find him. And then you bring him home," she says. "Simple as that."

Gray breathes deep once again before sinking into his resolve.

She's right.

"You find him," her mask breaks into a smile, "and then Mira and I become best friends with you guys and you both are there to whine about how gross she and I are being at our wedding when you marry us."

Gray lets out a laugh.

He nods.

"Yeah…okay."

—

Gray's phantom pain lingers in his chest.

And then his guilt comes back.

He wishes he could have done something. If he'd been bound to Karen sooner…or if he'd found Loke himself, or if…he doesn't know.

He just wishes he could have done something.

But Gray just smiles at Mira and clasps their arms together, fingers just below the bend of her elbow, and gives her a squeeze.

"That look on her face, Mira," Gray sounds breathless himself, "was one I have only ever seen when she talks about you. That's the look I was talking about."

Mira nods with tears streaming down her cheeks. "Thank you, Gray. I'm…I'm sorry about—"

Gray cuts her off. "Don't worry about it right now."

The pleading pain in his expression is what keeps Mira from pressing the issue further. She just nods again and grips Gray tighter.

Gray clears his throat.

"Alright." He lets go of Mira's arm and, bracing hand on propped up knee, pushes himself to standing. "I'm gunna run ahead and see if Lyon and Yukino have everyone. I'll see you inside."

Mira looks like she wants to say something, but Lucy just grabs her hand and they let Gray go. He can feel Gray holding himself together the best he can as he slides down a steeper part of the hill and knocks his way through the dirt back into the halls.

"It's not an easy one for him to see," Lucy offers, still looking after Gray though he's no longer around. "He's only shown me once before…when he was afraid what I would think about him having feelings for Loke. It was easier for him to show me than to tell me."

Mira nods. "It's not an easy conversation to have."

Lucy sighs. "Yeah. It's not."

Mira shifts until she's kneeling and sitting back on her heels. "Should we be going inside too, or?"

"Yeah," Lucy answers, "in a minute. There was just something he knew I wanted to give you first that he figured would be better I do with the fewest people possible."

He looks to Lucy and blinks. Should he be going then? He doesn't want to intrude, and if Lucy wanted to give to Mira then maybe he should leave.

Almost as if Lucy heard him, she turned to him, and then Mira. "Do you mind if he stays?"

Mira shakes her head. "Not at all. What is it?"

Lucy smiles to herself. "Cana is the familiar that took the most time before she accepted my binding. She was quick to fight and slow to trust, and the majority of the time I knew her before the binding was spent with her just watching and waiting and occasionally attacking me to see if I was lying or not. It pissed Gray off to no end because I told him he couldn't stop her and he was worried. He didn't like her much at first.

"But she slowly began to open up to Gray. She saw how protective he was of me and that made her curious. She saw how protective I was of him. Of her, even though she wasn't bonded yet. We saved her on a few occasions, and she, us. Even when she was still distrustful."

Lucy brings both hands to one side of her face and fumbles with something beneath her hair.

"Cana is someone who rarely picks people. Then again, you'd know this better than I would. She accepted me to keep her safe and be a source for her magic. She developed a relationship with Gray that neither of them were expecting. But she picked you. Nothing out of necessity or obligation or proximity. She picked you."

There's an audible click and then Lucy's hands are in front of her, fidgeting with something she then holds out to Mira in a slightly curled open palm.

"That's why I want you to have this."

Mira tentatively takes the object from Lucy and holds it up.

A jade, teardrop earring, set in silver.

Mira's eyes fill with tears.

"I would keep it," Lucy says, "but I feel like if anyone should have it, it would be you. You're her other half. You're the person she was choosing to be bound to for the rest of her life. You should have it."

Mira runs a thumb over the metal and picks at it with her thumbnail. "How do I—"

Lucy reaches for it, "Here."

Mira hands it over.

"Since it's a binding, the clasp is magic and can only be activated and deactivated by the witch who forged it. So if you want to wear it, once I put it in you won't be able to take it out," she warns.

Mira nods, "That's fine."

With a few more movements, the earring is set and Mira tugs at it with her thumb and forefinger.

She looks to Lucy. "Thank you, so much."

Lucy manages a smile. "Of course."

Lucy stands and offers a hand to Mira, who takes it, then to him. He also takes it.

"Alright," Lucy lets out an exasperated sigh and rolls her neck and shoulders. "Let's do this."

Lucy leads the way as they head back inside.

—

This time Gray, Lyon and Yukino's scents linger as Lucy leads them through the halls to yet another room. Something about the path feels familiar and he thinks he catches a whiff of his own scent through one of the walls, but he couldn't say for sure.

Maybe they have it mapped out somewhere?

It's when a bunch of different scents converge and Lucy opens up another doorway that they get to where everyone is, and the space is insane.

The air is warm and dry and rubs at his sinuses and the back of his throat until it feels a little raw and he's craving a drink of water. The room is nearly twice the size of the waterfall area, with the same stalactite deposits mirrored on ceiling and floor. The glow here is a white-blue instead of orange, and illuminates from cords spiralling around the hourglass rocks. The far end has a somewhat slanted, raised platform Gray, Yukino and Lyon are standing on, talking to each other.

The whole room is full of familiars.

Some he knows are bonded to Lucy since he can feel her magic from them through the bond. A few he recognizes, but mostly a blur of faces. Another amount he can sense have Yukino's magic, but from looking at them interacting with those bound to Lucy…one would never be able to tell. They're just as much family with each other as they are with those bound to the same witch as them.

Something twinges as he thinks about that possibly being him one day.

"Nii-san!"

Wendy bounds up beside him with a wide smile and he can't help but smile right back at her. She looks a little tired, but happy.

Lucy comes up on his other side.

"Alright, we've gotta start this. You good to stay here?" she asks him.

He nods.

Lucy offers a small smile before heading up to the front to stand next to Gray, Mira right with her. At Lucy's appearance on stage, the thrumming chatter falls deathly silent, the only sound being the shuffle of fabric as Lucy crosses her arms.

Her voice carries.

"We lost Cana today," she starts, and the collective pang felt by all echoes through the bond, "to Karen."

A chorus of snarling and grumbling picks up that's immediately silenced by Gray raising a hand.

"We've been working for equality," Lucy continues. "We've been taking in familiars, working with magic users who have only been taught how to hurt others, and doing our best to turn our region into one where magic isn't something that's feared. We've been doing this for decades."

She stands. Her head holds high, shoulders back, gaze hard, though hurt whorls within. She sets her jaw and lets her hands fall to her sides as she begins to pace.

"We honour those we've lost." Lucy's voice turns thick. "We honour those who have fought for us and given us everything they can. We honour those who believed enough in what they felt and saw and strived for in the future that they remained loyal until their very last breath." Her voice breaks.

She clears her throat, and goes to continue, but is stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

Mira.

Lucy sends her a questioning look, and Mira just nods, taking a step forward instead.

The air pricks with attention and curiosity.

Mira takes a deep breath.

"I have no magic," she says, scanning the group of familiars in front of her, "nor have I ever experienced oppression at the hands of someone else like all of you have. So I cannot speak for you, nor would I ever dare to. I can only speak for myself.

"I have never been involved in this with firsthand experience, but the day I learned about witches and familiars was the day I became an ally." Mira brings a hand to her chest and taps her fingers against the hollow of her throat. "I was a fighter once. I did what I could to bring supplies to familiars, fight witches, help you escape. It's how I met Cana."

Mira takes a deep breath, and hardens her resolve.

"I can't fight anymore, but I can support. I can tell you that you can do this. You can win. You are winning. This is an operation that is succeeding and every path to victory involves sacrifice. Cana knew that. You all know that."

Tears spill over Mira's cheeks.

"I wish this hadn't happened, but you can't quit now. Especially not now—" she cuts herself off and covers her mouth with one hand.

Gray guides her toward the back of the stage and takes her place.

"Judgement is in three days." His voice rings through the room, echoing off the ceiling, walls floor, seeping through skin and into bone. "We have three days to get ready to face Karen. And we have three days to figure out where she lives, and how to get there and back here without leaving a trace or getting killed."

A hum of confusion buzzes through the group, effectively silenced by Gray continuing.

"We aren't leaving Cana to rot in the ground. We aren't leaving her with Karen," Gray snarls. "She deserves better than that. You all know that. We're going to get her the only time we can. The only time Karen will not be there. We're going to kill two birds with one stone. Find Karen's house, and get Cana back."

Mira holds on to Lucy. Lyon stands tall, watching Gray with a determined expression. Yukino nods, full of an anger that looks foreign on her face. Despite the fact he'd only known her for a few days, it feels wrong for Yukino to look like that.

Gray looks from those behind him, back out to the group. "We have three days, so let's figure out how we're going to do this."

Everyone begins talking overtop of each other, the initial hum of confusion turning into a chorus voices and a slew of cheers and yells. Motivation. Decision. Anger. Determination. Vigor. It all washes through the room and he buzzes with it. He buzzes with all of it. It fuels him.

Three days, huh?

He can't wait.

Thank you guys so much. I'd love to hear what you think!

-xb