"So, I know what you're thinking; what came first? The chicken, or the egg?

Oh, wait... You weren't thinking that? Well then, that means you must be wondering why the hell it took so long for Author-san to get this chapter out. As it urns out, this thing happened, and then that thing happened, and so here we are. He tried pulling some kind of 'family drama' excuse on me, along with a bout of depression, but I ain't buying that shit. I still think he's just lazy. But regardless, he wants me to tell you that in order to get back into the swing of things, he needs to proceed with the main story before stopping to do the side stuff with the other characters...

What. A. Jackass."

(-)

"So, do you have something to say to me~?" Naruto asked with a smug smile as he leaned on the table from his seat opposite to Tsunade.

Not wanting to get in trouble for the immense damage the previous nights wager had caused, the group had fled the scene and met up at one of the villages hotels. Refusing to accept what had just happened, the female Sannin immediately fell into an alcohol induced sleep and was unwilling to wake up. As such, Shizune was forced to deal with the aftermath of her 'guardians' mistakes, while Jiraiya had to deal with Naruto's bragging about how awesome he was. He was starting to regret teaching the kid the rasengan.

It wasn't until noon the next day that Tsunade finally returned to the waking world, and it wasn't until an hour later that she was willing to meet up with them at the restaurant across the street. Which led to the current situation; being that Naruto was rubbing his victory into Tsunade's hungover face. It was a borderline miracle that none of his teeth were punched out yet.

"Not a damn thing." Tsunade grumbled quietly as the grip on her glass of water tightened further.

"Really? Because I seem to recall you saying something about me not being able to land a hit on you~."

The Sannin let out a sigh of aggravation. "You didn't hit me. I blocked your attack with my fist."

"But who was it that said, and I quote; 'One finger. That's all I need to beat you'." the blonde genin countered with a smirk. "And just what did you use to stop me?"

"Listen kid," Tsunade growled out as she took a sip from her water. "I'm trying to deal with a killer hangover right now, and your constant pestering isn't making my life any better."

"All you gotta do is admit you lost, and then I'll leave you alone."

Jiraiya had to hand it to the kid; he wasn't even hesitating to do what basically amounted to poking an angry tiger with a stick. But that was probably just foolhardiness from his victory the previous night. Casting a glance at the other occupant at the table, he noticed Shizune was getting increasingly worried about the possibility that Tsunade would snap and throttle Naruto. This time without pulling her punches.

Seeing as how her attempts at getting Naruto to lay off weren't working, the older woman decided to redirect her anger. And it just so happened that Jiraiya was now the target. "Why in gods name did you teach this kid the rasengan? Most teachers start out with the easier jutsus instead of going straight to the dangerous stuff."

The white-haired man gave a sheepish laugh. "It might have been an impulsive decision I made after seeing him already master summoning."

Tsunade looked at him with deadpan. "By that logic, you would give high explosives to someone who can light a match."

Jiraiya needed an out, and he needed it immediately. He could see Tsunade preparing to lash out at him for Naruto's antics, and he had no intention of suffering the consequences of his own actions from months ago.

"So, what did Orochimaru want with you?" he responded, turning serious enough to shift the mood at the table.

Fortunately Naruto was wise enough to pick up on the sudden tone shift and quieted down. After all, he knew that Orochimaru wanted something from Sasuke.

"Tch, just wanted to catch up..." she answered with an obvious lie.

"Really? It didn't have anything to do with his arms?"

Naruto perked up at that. "His arms?"

"One of your caretakers friends managed to seal his hands in a block of ice. Unless he can find a way to remove the ice, then he will never be able to perform jutsu again. So it isn't that difficult to figure out he would need an expert med-nin to fix him up."

The blonde nodded in understanding. "And since you three were a team..."

"Exactly." Jiraiya remarked as he clasped his hands together on the table. "Tell me, when does he expect you to meet up with him?"

Tsunade scoffed. "What makes you think I'm going to meet up with that creep?"

He narrowed his eyes. "It's because he's Orochimaru that I know you will meet with him again."

The female Sannin stiffened for a moment, but quickly took another sip from her drink. "I hate it when you're like this."

"And I hate it when I have to be like this to my friends." Jiraiya responded. "As it is right now, you have two options; return with us to the Leaf and at the very least help heal Kakashi, or aid Orochimaru and become our enemy. Which do you choose?"

Tsunade ran a hand through her hair and let out a heavy sigh. "You just had to spring this crap on me while I'm hungover?"

"The headache will make it harder for you to think of a way to weasel out of it." Jiraiya opined as he stood up from the table. "I will give you one hour to come to a decision. After that, all bets are off."

Having issued his ultimatum, Jiraiya gestured for Naruto to follow him. The blonde acquiesced, but stopped for a moment to address Tsunade one last time.

Fixing her a firm glare, the young teen pointed at her. "I don't know what your problem with being a Hokage is, and frankly I don't care!" he said with resolve. "The Hokage is the person who everyone in the village looks up to! They are the one who protects the hopes and dreams of every citizen, from the Nobles to the beggars on the street! Without the Hokage, there is no village! Without the village, there is no Hokage! And to say that the Hokage is crap... you are saying that everyone who lives and died for the village is crap!"

Tsunade nearly jumped to her feet at that remark, but Shizune was able to hold her back.

"Jii-san said that the Will of Fire that burns within every member of the village, will always burn on in here!" he shouted as he jabbed his thumb to his chest, right over his heart. "So has yours burnt out?" he finished curtly as he turned and left.

Fists trembling not in anger for once, Tsunade's gaze was locked on the ground, unwilling to meet the judgmental stare that Jiraiya leveled at her.

"The kid has a way with words. I blame it on the demon woman who's looking after him." the man opined as ran a hand through his hair. "And for what it's worth, sensei is sorry for everything that happened."

Finally alone save for Shizune, Tsunade couldn't stop the tear from falling from her eye.

"Dammit..."

Several days later...

The roar of a chainsaw was accompanied by the sound of flesh being ripped in twain, followed by the splatter of an ichorous black fluid. The Demon Centipede Yoma chittered in agony as the rotating blades tore through the weakpoint in its carapace, but soon fell silent upon the slice being completed. Its grotesque head fell to the ground and the thrashing finally ceased.

"Hmph! Such vile creatures. As if centipedes weren't bad enough on their own." Haruka huffed as she gave her puppet a pat on the head.

Littered around the forest clearing were several horribly dismembered corpses of centipedes that were roughly twice the size of an adult human.

"Though I suppose I should be grateful for what little use they provided." the woman remarked as she smiled menacingly. "At least now we know that there are more of them out there."

"Mooou~! Haruka-chan, your face is scaring Karin-san!" her pink-haired friend pointed out quickly.

"I believe it has less to do with my face, and more to do with our recently solved insect problem."

True to her word, the red-head was currently cowering behind a tree while only just peeking her head around to look. "W-w-what were those t-things?!"

"Those my dear Karin, were Yoma." Haruka answered as her puppet brought her lab coat back. "Adolescent Centipede Demons to be more precise."

"D-D-Demons?!" the younger girl stuttered out. "Like the Tailed Beasts?!"

The scientist-girl let out a low chuckle at Karin's lack of knowledge. "No, nothing like those. Because unlike the Bijuu, all Yoma are inherently evil. The only thing that they desire is the deaths of humans."

Karin slowly crept out from her cover to rejoin her fellow shinobi, albeit taking the long route around all the dead Yoma. "But I never heard of these things before! How can you be so nonchalant about this?!"

Haruka bent over and scooped up some of the black blood into a small vial that was covered in seals to prevent its decay. "Because we are a type of Shinobi that were trained specifically to deal with these monsters so that the rest of humanity can remain blissfully ignorant." she explained while taking a closer look at the blood she collected. "Still, I am quite surprised that they have shown up here. Something most foul is starting to unfold."

Hibari kicked the ground as her head lowered to hide her frown. "Things are gonna get bad soon, aren't they?"

Pocketing the blood sample, Haruka spun on her heel and maintained her confident smile. "Without a doubt. But that doesn't mean we'll just sit idly by and let the land fall to ruin. Killing Yoma is our specialty, so they don't stand a chance against us. On a related note, we'll need to speed up Karin's training if she is to keep up with us."

"Whatever you wish, Haruka-sama!" the aforementioned girl spoke with a look of determination.

A rather sinister smile formed on Haruka's lips upon witnessing the red-heads enthusiasm. That was an equally good and bad sign.

(-)

After having spent the better part of the day searching the town she was in, Katsuragi decided to take a break in order to deal with her ramen deprivation. She was hot on the trail of her targets, but still didn't have an exact location pinned down, so she could afford a short reprieve.

"Ahhh~! Nothing beats a bowl of ramen after a hard days work!" she exclaimed as she finished slurping the last bits from her bowl and slamming the empty vessel on the counter.

"Are you sure you don't want anything else lady?" the proprietor of the food stand asked as he took the bowl from Katsuragi. "That was your third serving. Don't you think you should have some variety instead of only ramen?"

The blonde frowned and glared at the man. "Blasphemy! Ramen is the only thing you need to survive!"

"Aren't you at all worried about getting fa-"

"If you so much as finish that sentence, you'll be the mystery meat in your next 'special of the day'." she warned with her teeth bared. "Besides, anything I don't burn off goes to my girls~!" Katsuragi added as she groped her impressive bust.

Throwing his hands up in resignation, the man sighed and returned to his work.

After having another filling bowl of the good stuff, Katsuragi left her payment on the counter and took her leave. Looking up at the sky, she noticed that it was getting darker, and the day was drawing to a close. Shrugging to herself with a noncommittal grunt, she figured it'd be best that she call it a day. It's not like her targets were travelling faster than she was, so there wasn't any chance of losing them.

As she was walking down a back alley shortcut to reach the hotel she was staying at, she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks.

"This feeling..."

Closing her eyes, she cleared her mind to focus her senses.

"I know this sensation... It's so familiar to me..."

There was a rustle in the darkness behind her, indicating that she wasn't alone.

"Did you really think you could sneak up on me like that~?" Katsuragi remarked with a wild grin, not even turning to face the source of the noise.

The person took a single step forward, and Katsuragi exploded into motion.

"You're a thousand years too early~!"

*grope, grope, boing, boing, squeeze, squeeze*

"Hello, Katsuragi." Hikage said with her usual monotone as the blonde began to vigorously molest her.

"I knew it was you!" the bubbly girl remarked as she played with Hikage's fun bags. "Since you aren't wearing a bra, I recognized the sound of your boobs bouncing~!"

Hikage lacked an immediate response to that. Verbally, that is. Her body on the other hand, was quick on the draw.

'It's warm again...'

Katsuragi pressed her face into Hikage's cleavage and began to motorboat her.

'How does she do it?'

Stopping for a moment to catch her breath, Katsuragi looked up at Hikage without letting go of the girls boobs.

"So, whatcha' doing here Hikage? I thought I was the only one who was supposed to go searching?"

"Things came up." the verdette answered blandly.

"Oh~? Like what~?" the pervert asked with a glint in her eyes. "You missed your bed partner and just had to chase after me~?"

Katsuragi knew what to expect in response. Hikage would either remain silent and roll her eyes, sigh from exhaustion, or give some deadpan answer followed be her calling her a pervert.

"Yes."

... That wasn't what she was expecting. In fact, Katsuragi was so caught off by the answer, that she couldn't even come up with a proper response.

"Huh?"

The blonde felt Hikage reach up to cup her cheek with one hand, and reach over her shoulder with the other.

"You make me feel warm." she stated with what little passion she could form.

It wasn't much, but Katsuragi could see the dim flames of passion in her eyes.

"I wish to act upon this feeling, but I wish to give you the option to back. If you don't want this, say so now. Otherwise, I'm just going to kiss you."

Still stunned by Hikage's confession, Katsuragi wouldn't have been able to resist even if she wanted to. It took a moment longer than it should have for her to realize that Hikage's tongue had slipped into her mouth and was wrestling with her own. Upon realizing just what was happening, Katsuragi quickly met Hikage's enthusiasm with her own. She closed her eyes and pulled Hikage in even deeper for the kiss. With their mouths firmly clamped together, their arms lowered and began to explore each others bodies in a more intimate way that normal. While Katsuragi wasn't a stranger to groping girls, this was the first time she did so with with more mature intentions. Her hands slipped beneath Hikage's sweater and quickly found what she was looking for. True to her earlier statement, Hikage had forgone a bra, so Katsuragi was able to massage the mounds of flesh directly. She could feel the protruding nubs of her nipples as they became erect from the stimulation. She became idly aware that Hikage had slid one of her legs between her thighs, and began rubbing it against her crotch. The blonde briefly broke the kiss to let out a quiet yelp when she felt Hikage take a firm grip of her buttocks and squeeze.

A small smile formed on the stoic girls lips. "That was cute..."

Katsuragi leaned in and whispered into Hikage's ear. "My hotel is just down the road."

(-)

As soon as the two girls reached Katsuragi's room, they couldn't get their clothes off fast enough. They slammed the door behind them as they did their best to disrobe without breaking their embrace. The blondes skirt was the first to go, followed soon after by Hikage's sweater. Katsuragi leaned in and started sucking on one of Hikage's breasts, causing the girl to moan in pleasure. The verdette responded by leaning forward and undoing the ties of Katsuragi's side-tie panties. It took a moment for the garment to fall to the floor, as it was stuck to Katsuragi's crotch from her juices. It hit the ground with a wet slap, causing the blonde to blush from how aroused she was.

Taking a firm grip of Hikage's shoulders, Katsuragi threw her into the air and towards the bed. While airborne, Hikage utilized her incredible dexterity to slip her shorts and panties off before she even hit the bed. Katsuragi jumped at her lover as she threw off her shirt and bra, the two of them now completely naked. By the time Katsuragi began her descent, Hikage had already spread her legs apart in order to give the blonde direct access. She was gonna enjoy this.

"Itadakimasu~!"

(-)

The four ninja had arrived early to the meeting spot that Orochimaru had decided upon. If the rouge Sannin was planning on setting any traps, it would be a difficult task for him to accomplish with them already present. Tsunade herself remained in the road, while Jiraiya, Naruto, and Shizune concealed themselves nearby.

It was of great surprise that Tsunade had chosen to renege on her deal with Orochimaru, but Jiraiya wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Instead, they'd focus on taking the rogue out of the picture and ensure Konoha was safe from any of his future threats.

"Listen, Naruto..." Jiraiya spoke firmly as he kept his gaze locked on the opposite end of the road. "Leave Orochimaru to me and Tsunade. Your job is to help Shizune keep Kabuto occupied."

"Right!" the blonde gennin responded with a confidant smirk. "Four eyes won't stand a chance!"

"Take this seriously." the Sannin spoke gravely. "The upcoming battle will be on an entirely different level to what you are accustomed to."

The gennin gulped audibly, and nodded firmly as his face hardened. "Okay ero-sennin."

"You just had to ruin the moment..."

"Wait, I see someone coming." Shizune remarked as she narrowed her eyes down the street.

It wasn't of much surprise as to who it was. Orochimaru made his way towards them, with Kabuto lagging behind by only a few steps. His hands were still frozen in ice, and neither he nor Kabuto showed any form of expression on their faces. Even from their hiding place nearby, the trio could feel the tension in the air as Orochimaru grew closer to Tsunade.

"Remember, wait for her signal. That's when we attack." Jiraiya whispered.

Having deigned himself to be close enough, Orochimaru halted in his steps.

"So, have you come to a decision~?" the man asked in an unnervingly pleasant tone.

Tsunade nodded her head. "Yes. I will fix your arms, but you must swear not to harm the Leaf."

He chuckled. "I can hear the doubt in your voice. Do you believe I won't hold up my end of the bargain?"

The woman glared at him.

"Ah, I suppose you do have your reasons." he responded with a shrug. "But first," he then sneered as he looked directly at the hiding place of the others. "why don't you invite our spectators down for a front row seat~?"

Their eyes widened in alarm. How had he noticed them. They spent an hour making sure everything was planned down to the last detail.

Having been made, the three ninja joined up with Tsunade.

"Now this is what I'd call an acceptable audience~." the snake-man opined with his face looking all too gleeful. "I can see that you never intended to humor my offer."

Jiraiya took a step forward in front of Naruto. "For too long you've been a loose string that sensei failed to cut. So we're ending your plans here and now."

Tsunade cracked her knuckles. "I'm gonna enjoy caving your slimy face in."

Rather than look intimidated by the turn of events, Orochimaru simply chuckled in amusement. "It's so funny, really..."

Raising a brow, Tsunade had a nagging feeling at the back of her head that something was terribly wrong. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Orochimaru replied as he tried holding back further laughter. "you haven't even figured it out."

"Figured out what?" Jiraiya asked as he realized something was off.

"That with such odds stacked against me, why haven't I fled yet~?"

In the blink of an eye, the ice encasing the snake Sannin's hands vanished, and he reached into his pocket and pulled out some type of seal-tag. Ripping the paper in half, both his and Kabuto's appearances changed. Their images blurred as light reflected off surfaces that weren't there, revealing that they were an illusion all along.

"My apologies for the deception, but Orochimaru was adamant that you'd do something rash if anyone else arrived aside from him."

In Orochimaru's place was a man wearing an Akatsuki uniform, with his face concealed beneath a dragon-styled han'ya mask. Kabuto ended up being some random civilian who was tied up and gagged, being led along by a rope attached to his hands.

"Who the hell are you?! And where's Orochimaru?!" Jiraiya demanded. He didn't recognize this Akatsuki member at all.

"Does that ever actually work? Demanding an unknown enemy to identify themselves?" he asked reached into his pocket and pulled out a syringe filled with a dubious liquid. If one looked close enough, there was a tiny creature writing inside it. "You see, the Snake and I are working on a little project together, and I wanted to show him a sample of what I am capable of. So I offered to head here in his place."

Jerking on the rope, the man was pulled forward, and the Akatsuki grabbed him by the neck. The hostage tried to struggle in the Akatsuki's grasp, but it was all in vain. Muffled screams could be heard as the syringe was pressed against his neck.

"And it just so happens that you are my volunteers for the evening~!"

"What do you think you're doing?!" Tsunade shouted as she watched the man try to squirm free.

The Akatsuki let out a huff of amusement. "Again with the pointless questions. Do you take me for some kind of idiot who brags about his nasty plans to everyone he meets?" he shook his head in disappointment. "Don't answer that. It was rhetorical."

The needle pressed against the civilians neck even harder, renewing his struggles with increased fervor.

"Ah, ah, ah~!" the Akatsuki admonished in amusement. "I'd hold still if I were you. Don't want to accidentally stab something important~."

While the ninja had no obligation to rescue the unaffiliated hostage and could simply let him die, they still had their morals to adhere to. If they could end the confrontation without blood being spilled, that would be ideal. But they wouldn't go out of their way to save him. So for the moment, they tried to come up with a plan of attack.

"But as for the location of our serpentine friend, he is currently watching our confrontation play out from an undisclosed location a safe distance away. And I won't even bother hiding what you yourselves will soon realize." the man remarked as he momentarily removed the syringe from the mans neck to wave his hand. "Your medical services are no longer needed. Orochimaru's medical condition is now the best it's been in years. Courtesy of yours truly of course~."

The threat level of the Akatsuki man had just skyrocketed. By claiming to have perfectly healed one of the Leaf's most notorious missing-nin, that spoke volumes of his skill as a ninja, as well as where his intentions leaned towards.

"Ah, but I'm sure my new friend must be getting somewhat impatient. Time for us to begin in earnest."

The syringe was properly stabbed into the mans neck, and the plunger was pushed down, injecting the unknown liquid into his bloodstream.

For a few moments nothing happened. The Akatsuki removed the syringe and returned it to the inside of his coat, and the man stood in place, only slightly swaying on his feet.

...

...

...

"GYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

The man cried out in unimaginable agony despite his gagged mouth. He collapsed to his knees and began to claw at his own throat with his head arched back. His teeth then bit straight through his rope-gag, and he began to scream even more.

"AAAAGHHHHH! HIIIIIIIEEEEEE! GRRRUUUUUOOOOO!"

His body would constantly spasm as he continued trying to tear something out from beneath his skin. Then they heard it. The sound of bones snapping beneath his flesh, of muscles tearing, and veins bursting. It was a horrible, nightmarish sound that caused them to feel sick to their stomachs.

He managed to break his hands free from their restraints and fell forward on his hands and knees. Retching as hard as he could, black gunk started to drip from his mouth. And as if straight out of some mad science experiment, his joints and muscles started to expand and deform his body. The back of his shirt tore in half as his spine enlarged and strained against the fabric. Turning his gaze up, the ninja noticed that his eyes looked bloodshot, only that the veins were black instead of red.

"I do hope you enjoy my gift! I prepared it specially for this occasion!" the Akatsuki member crooned as the man thrashed about.

Bringing his arms up as high as he could, the man slammed them down into the ground, causing the earth to crater and kick up an explosion of rock and dust.

"Where is he?!" Naruto shouted as the dust concealed the man.

Even though he was out of sight, they could still hear the mans cries of agony and the snapping of his bones as his body became deformed.

It wasn't until a figure lunged out of the cloud of debris that the chaos resumed. The four ninja scattered as a massive fist collided with their previous location, utterly destroying the road as a result.

Where man once was, now stood monster. His skin was turning a pallid red with bulging muscles and veins rippling across his body. The mans left arm had grown exponentially in size, but the majority of his body had yet to do the same. It looked as if the left half of his face was being pulled towards his enlarged arm, causing his facial features to stretch and distort to form an expression of rage.

"Kill them."

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!"

(-)

"Apparently he's trying to go for something along the lines of Berkin's first form from Resident Evil 2. Tch, hopefully he makes it more like an actual demon by the end."