Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Kishimoto.

Chapter Two

Light summer rain was trailing down the windows of Naruto's apartment. He was crouching on the kitchen table, which was now devoid of plates, empty milk cartons, and other 'paraphernalia of the lazy,' as a stuck-up ANBU had called it once, escorting him to his apartment after Naruto had asked him some very sensible questions about the origins of ANBU, where the masks came from, and why they were actually used, and whose idea it was, and . . .

Naruto stopped himself. Letting his mind go wild wouldn't get him anywhere right now.

In front of him lay his latest attempt at the de-sealer. Just as before he had infused the words in his mind with chakra and let the brush take over so it could write out his thoughts, his words, in the language of lines and waves and circles.

It was the same: a perfect copy. Every word made sense to him; every line was drawn as instructed by the books and scrolls.

Why weren't you working back at the Academy?

He swiped the piece of paper off the table, drew another from a stack balancing on the table's edge. He dipped his brush in ink and for a moment glanced at his stained fingers. Something had to be different, or none of this made any sense. There had to be a way to make it work. Even if he hadn't gotten the book, he'd at least have to make sure all that time spent preparing wasn't for nothing.

As before, the words came to him. The first sentence arose in his mind. Words clicked together; meaning was formed. When the thought had unwound itself to its very end, he put brush to paper. He drew a line with two whirls, the second slightly thicker, a bit ungainly. His head warmed up - he always thought that was because of the chakra. More sentences followed: a wave here, a squiggle there, now pulling the brush across the paper in a half-circle, then putting a dot beneath the thicker whirl to end the paragraph.

It was the same. Again.

He flicked his wrist with a grunt, carelessly spattering ink in an arc around his brush. Everything led to the same result - a seemingly correct version that hadn't worked. Why? The language was precise. Old-fashioned maybe, but alright. Did he need to have Shikamaru's damn vocabulary before he could make this work? Far as he could see, none of his seal sentences lacked anything important, so that couldn't be it either. He was about to pull another piece of paper from the stack, when the door was knocked hard enough for the blinds to rattle in the window next to it.

Savior's knock. Naruto jumped off the table, sparing the stack no further glance. He'd already wracked his brain for hours. It was high time to get something else to chow on, actual food for one thing. "Coming!" he called out, grabbing Gama-chan - usually quite the anorexic toad, but for today it had fattened up appropriately.

Kiba stood leaning against the railing before his apartment. Fine rain sparkled on his jacket and in his shaggy hair. He greeted Naruto with a roguish grin, somewhat undercut by his busted lip and the claw marks across his cheek.

"Ouch," Naruto said. "Your mom?"

Kiba shrugged. "It happens. She's impossible during a full moon. Trained me in the kennel for hours. Kuromaru didn't help. The way he's watching you with that eye-patch . . . man, it gives you the shivers, that sullen glare."

They walked down the stairs and turned toward Konoha's streets and alleys. "I didn't think it'd be that bad," Naruto said.

"Don't sweat it. We couldn't have known Iruka would take it straight to her. It's plain bad luck . . . Though I've got to say, I'd almost forgotten how hard she hits." Kiba rubbed his jaw. "I'm going to feel that one for a while, I think. Nasty bitch, she is. Real nasty."

"How's Akamaru?"

"Same as me. I left him with Hana. She's used to patchin' us up."

Naruto gave Kiba's face a sidelong glance. Maybe it would've been better not to pull others into his mess. This wasn't any of their business, and now Kiba was paying a price he should've paid in all honesty. When he tried to apologize though, Kiba slapped his back with a laugh.

"Are you kidding? I've had a blast at the Academy! God, I'll miss the place once we're Genin. Though I can't wait to get out of it either. Strange, huh? Hana says men who can't decide get nothing. Them's the rules of love and war."

"She said that?"

"Yeah, with a really dopy smile too. A bit like thinking about past pranks I'd say."

"Weird."

"Yup. Hey, up ahead!"

Choji and Shikamaru stood before the restaurant, waiting for them. Inside, an Akimichi manned the counter and showed them to a table with a view of the street. Conversation interspersed with occasional laughter was all around, and the rich smell of spices and grilled meat permeated the air.

Naruto wiggled on his soft leather seat. Outside, the puddles grew larger, rain punching little circles into them. It was peaceful, but he still felt a little uneasy, and over the years he'd learned to trust his instincts. He swept the restaurant with a glance: two women hurrying inside to escape the rain; a group of old men bickering at the back; one guy - gray ponytail, large glasses - sitting engrossed in his book; a family of three joking around. Normal folk. Nothing to really worry about.

Must've been my imagination.

The grill between him and his friends started sizzling as they put the first meat on top of it. Naruto cleared his throat. "Okay, listen, guys. A deal's a deal, so eat up. I've got enough for seconds, too."

"You sure that's alright?" Choji asked. "I feel bad for eating even though you didn't get the book."

"That's my fault, not yours," Naruto said. "You did your job. And I bet you the girls will remember this for quite a while."

"We should play another prank," Kiba said with a devilish gleam in his eyes. "And it ought to pack a punch. Feathers, glue, the works."

Shikamaru snorted. "Iruka-sensei will be watching us from now on, to be sure. Good luck with another troublesome plan like that."

No decisive plan was made that afternoon, and Naruto was fine with that. He needed some time anyway to think things through and get a handle on why that damn de-sealer hadn't worked. No, he thought with a grin, Iruka would have some time to relax for once.

The conversation soon turned towards graduation, which was only two weeks away now. And wasn't that just enough to make an honest boy tremble?

"My team?" Choji asked. "Shikamaru and Hinata would be nice."

Kiba leaned forward. "Hinata? I'd have thought you'd say Ino. In love with Hyuga then?"

"It will be Ino anyway," Shikamaru said. "The Hokage isn't going to break up our parents' combination, even if only to see whether it works a second time around. Besides," he added with an amused expression, "I doubt Choji's choice is based on love in this case."

"You've seen her bento," Choji said, "and I've heard she's a good cook. As heir to the Akimichi I'm responsible for bringing new recipes into the clan."

"Now that's some reason," Naruto said. "Always follow the food, huh?"

Choji nodded gravely. "The most important axiom."

"Axi-what?" Kiba asked.

"It means something is established as truth, or self-evident," Shikamaru explained, and Naruto made a mental note to write that down later on. He could already see it before his mind's eye, the starting sentence of the chapter about the Uzumaki: It is generally held as axiomatic that an Uzumaki is all kinds of awesome.

If that wasn't a great start, what was?

"-ruto, stop dreaming," Kiba said.

"Huh? Sorry. What did you say?"

"I asked who you want on your team."

Naruto made an amused noise in the back of his throat. "I think I could manage with any of you guys, though with some it'd be more difficult than with others, for sure. Wouldn't want to catch your smell, Kiba," he said, evading Kiba's fist, which had been coming quick and hard as ever. Inuzuka - high damage, and always on edge. Give them a ribbing, and they'd punch your lights out in return. If they noticed. Kiba could be a bit slow on the uptake, though not this time around. Naruto deflected a second hit - that one would've almost gotten to him - and finished his answer with, "Sasuke wouldn't be too bad either."

"Iruka said we're going to have mixed teams," Shikamaru noted as Kiba began calming down.

"Sakura then," Naruto said. "She works part-time at the library, and she's been helping me find history stuff. She's fun to talk to, too, once you get past her love for teachers . . . and for Sasuke. Can't forget that one."

"How could we?" Kiba asked. "She reminds us every damn day. Now, Ino? Ino's hot."

Naruto had to agree. Ino was hot, and Sakura could be annoying at times, though she had her good sides as well. There'd been a guy at the library once who returned a book with the cover damaged and the pages splattered with coffee. Big, bulky, wearing a Chūnin vest, and in general being about double her size in every aspect. Naruto would never forget how Sakura reamed him before calling one of the Jōnin that were supervising the library at all times, asking them to take the good man outside and have him noted down for a payment reduction on his next mission. Books were expensive after all, and damaged ones had to be replaced.

Naruto, searching for information on sealing at the time, had cheered her on all the way from his aisle of books two floors above. That girl had a voice on her. A terrible power if misused, but quite nice if on your side. Or directed against any side that wasn't you, really.

Afternoon turned into evening as they kept talking and joking. It had stopped raining, and the sun was stabbing through the patchy fields of clouds drifting east, scattering light on the puddles outside. Eventually, as the sun dipped below the roofs, Naruto paid up and they said goodbye to another.

Whatever had made him uneasy before, it hadn't stood a chance against four boys and good food. He zipped up his jacket and began walking toward West Konoha with a bag of nice meat he had the waiter pack him, while humming a children's song Jiji had taught him long ago.

And when the leaves then color;

In yellow, orange, red

Dance under them, and sing and laugh;

Never though be sad.

Before long he came to Sasuke's apartment. He rasped his knuckles against the door, entered without bothering to wait for a reply, and found Sasuke barefoot in the center of his kitchen, table and chairs pushed against the wall. He only wore black slacks. The room reeked of sweat.

While Sasuke was pushing through the kata - step by shift by hit by turn - Naruto opened the window and leaned over the sill to catch some fresh air and look at the stars. Ten minutes and a last powerful exhalation later, Sasuke finished up.

It was finally safe to talk, and Naruto's first words would be well-chosen indeed. "This place stinks, man. You should air it more often. Or take your training outside like a normal person."

Sasuke shrugged. "The public grounds were full."

"Fangirls?"

"Some." In a mutter Sasuke added, "Training for the first time of their lives."

Naruto leaned with his back against the windowsill. "Final exams are tough, huh?"

"For them . . . and you, I suppose."

Naruto snorted. "You say the nicest things to me. But I'll be fine." Probably. "Mizuki-sensei's as harsh as ever, but I got history with Iruka covered. The physical part too. That's enough to get me through."

"Bunshin?" Sasuke asked, going into the bathroom and coming out wiping the sweat off his face with a towel.

"Screw Bunshin!" Naruto said. "Who needs that stuff anyway?"

"Shinobi," Sasuke said, making three copies of himself, all of them toweling themselves off in a disinterested, aloof manner.

Naruto threw the box with meat at him. "Here, you asshole. I don't get why you didn't want to come with us."

Another shrug, as usual. Sasuke piled the meat on a plate, sat on the floor, and began eating without another word. In general, Sasuke was goddamn physical incapable of opening his mouth for any sentence longer than seven words, but this was getting ridiculous.

Jiji was right. Some people preferred the quiet of their home. Though he didn't agree with Jiji's notion that those same people likely thought great thoughts in that time. Sasuke's mind was full of training. No space for any great thought. Well, maybe when remembering his family. But Sasuke didn't like doing that too often, and it was grueling work to pull facts about the Uchiha out of his nose.

"Did you get the book?" Sasuke asked after he was done eating. When Naruto shook his head, he said, "You're the worst shinobi I know."

"Say that again, I dare you."

Sasuke's left eyebrow ticked toward his hairline. "You're the worst shinobi I know. There."

"One day, Sasuke, you'll be screwing with the wrong person, and they won't be as nice as Uzumaki Naruto. And when that happens and they're busting your jaw, I'll be standing next to you, laughing like hell."

"Will they talk of themselves in the third person too?" Sasuke asked, a grin slipping across his face. "Even if there were such a person, with your skills you'll be dead long before I meet them."

Bastard. Naruto glared at Sasuke, probably as sullenly as Kiba said Kuromaru did. Sasuke, though, showed himself entirely unimpressed. After a while Naruto eased out a sigh. "You're a dick, Sasuke, but I guess I've got to thank you for helping me out." Because Sasuke, too, had thrown water bombs, Naruto knew. He'd just been far subtler about it than the others.

"Good bargain," Sasuke said, lifting the empty plate on which meat juices were forming a little river delta.

They had little else to talk about, and Naruto soon left Sasuke to his training. A team with him really wouldn't be so bad. Enough power to get promoted quickly; off to more and more remote locations for their missions; soon leaving Fire Country behind altogether: the more they stretched outwards, the more stories they'd encounter. Tales. Legends. Lays. All that made a good history of everything.

On the street, a man passed Naruto by. Dreaming about the future, it took Naruto a moment to realize that he'd seen the same guy at the restaurant. He wore a brown coat, shinobi garb underneath. Naruto looked at his retreating back, shrugged, and resumed his way home, thinking, It must've been a good book to stay that long at the restaurant.

In his kitchen sat a strange man. Instincts kicked in. Naruto launched himself forward, whirled around his axis, his foot on course for the man's head. Then there was only the ceiling passing by, the lamp a shooting star in his vision - until he realized that he was the one doing the moving and landed hard on his back.

He blinked away the pain and stared at the man's face. A break-in. By someone that had swatted him aside in an instant.

The man laughed. "Easy there, Naruto. I'm not here to hurt you."

"Yeah?" Naruto said, jumping to his feet, raising his fists. "Doesn't look like that to me. You're in my home."

"I've been wanting to meet you. Since you were out, I thought I'd wait. The name's Jiraiya, by the way. From the rising sun in the east, to the - "

"Jiraiya? The Sannin?"

"Just the same," Jiraiya said with a frown, putting back the two fans he'd pulled out of his wide sleeves.

Naruto looked at the man then, took him in, sandal to headpiece. Broad and tall; scars; red paint; forehead protector gleaming in the light. But much more than the visual cues, it was the way he moved, or failed to move, that gave Naruto a sense of being in the presence of something he shouldn't tussle with. Every motion precise, intended, with a stupefying and careless grace - power coiling just beneath the surface, ready to be released at a moment's notice. He was not even a Genin, and he could feel it everywhere in his body.

Jiraiya was leaning against the table's edge, an easy smile playing on his lips.

He's letting me observe him. He's showing me what he wants me to see. In a fight I couldn't use any of this.

With a strained laugh, Naruto lowered his fists. That was a Sannin alright. "I give up."

"Wise choice."

"I've not done anything super bad . . . have I?"

"Super bad?" Jiraiya chuckled. "Not that I know of, though your teacher at the Academy might tell me otherwise. No," he said, "you haven't done anything . . . to my knowledge."

"So . . . what do you want with me, then? And can I ask you some questions later? I've got a few written down somewhere around here."

"Maybe later," Jiraiya said. "Why I'm here is a bit harder to explain than who I am. Do you know of the toad clan? Ah, I see you do. Very good. That makes it a little easier. I'll tell you flat-out then. I can fill you in on the details as we go. The elder toad-sage asked me to take you to him. He's a very old fellow - oldest toad around - and if he calls, all others leap. Doesn't happen too often. Actually, it mostly doesn't happen at all. So naturally it has caused quite a stir when he suddenly got up and asked for you."

"Asked for me?" Naruto said. "Why'd he do that? He doesn't know me, does he?"

"How much that guy truly knows is up for debate, but no, I don't think he knows you personally. Nevertheless, he's seen you. He has visions sometimes. You featured quite prominently in his latest one. That isn't something that should be ignored - or can be, for the matter."

Don't freak out, Uzumaki. He's a Sannin. You want to interview him later. Naruto sat down cross-legged. He wasn't making any weird hand sign, but sitting worked for Shikamaru. Why not for him too? This is all weird. What's that old toad got to do with me? Wait . . . can I get out of Iruka's math classes with this? I can! But isn't that kinda bad before the exams? Damn.

When he looked up from the floorboards, Naruto said, "Sounds weird. Why'd I be in his vision? I've got nothing to do with the toads. Or him. I'm still in the Academy. And I've got graduation in two weeks. I can't leave now. This is my last chance."

A weird expression flickered over Jiraiya's face before smoothing over. "You'll be back in time for your exams, I promise - two weeks is plenty. But the vision business comes first."

"But what's he want with me? I'm not even a Genin."

"That's the big question now, isn't it? I've no idea why you've been in that vision - but the fact remains that it has happened. So I'm going to take you to him - already cleared it with the Hokage - and we'll take it from there. Everything else is secondary."

Secondary? Becoming a Genin isn't secondary! But Naruto didn't say that. That was a real, breathing Sannin in front of him. And an insistent one at that. It was better not to anger him, and he was going to keep his promise, wasn't he? A Sannin ought to.

"I guess that's alright then," Naruto said. "But I've really got to make it to the exam. You promised."

Jiraiya rasped an exasperated groan. "I did. Now get your things. And pack lightly - we'll buy whatever else we need on the road."

"Right now? Isn't it kinda dark?"

"Right now."

With a nod, Naruto rose to his feet, about to get his things from the bedroom. He paused at the door. "You're really a Sannin, right?"

"Didn't we already establish that?"

"Can you teach me cool stuff? My Ninjutsu's kinda weak, and Sasuke got that huge fireball of his, and I thought - "

Jiraiya took a deep breath. "I definitely won't if you don't get a move on. Your choice."

"Got it," Naruto said, dancing into his bedroom.

Sweet. I'll be back in time for the exam with a cool new Jutsu. Take that, Sasuke. Worst shinobi my ass. I'm going to have a Sannin teach me.

The moon hung like a melon in the sky. A white melon, but a melon nonetheless.

Naruto stood with Jiraiya at the Great Gate, where the guards were always asleep. The sheer size of it kept out intruders just the same, so wakefulness was not necessary on their part. Training had made sure they were able to sleep even through the multitudinous sounds of drunken people, barking dogs, hooting owls - in short: all manner of creature that peopled a village at night.

Naruto glanced at Jiraiya, then at the way ahead.

One thing was clear. Evident. Axiomatic even, as Shikamaru might say.

The way to Mount Myōboku would be fraught with adventure. Like any pair of respectable travelers, they would pause at the inns lining the well-traveled roads, where they then could spend the night, talk about the mysteries of life, and come dawn resume their travels until their socks gave out or they were surprised by bandits - which they would subsequently smash to pieces.

Their journey would lead them through forests of pine, oak, and birch, past a waterfall or two, definitely though across several rivers. Perhaps they'd even chance upon the ocean to their right.

There, gulls and terns would be soaring, the smell of brine heavy in the air, and if they were supremely lucky - for only those of great fortune got to see it - they might even spy a whale just offshore, blasting a fount of water straight up at the sky - the most majestic way of farting ever invented.

"Let's get going," Jiraiya said. "We've wasted enough time already."

That sounded like an accusation, but Naruto let it go. Much better things awaited - why bother fighting right out of the gate?

Outside the village, Jiraiya led him away from the road and went with him alongside the wall. At one point he turned north, and strode into the forest surrounding Konoha.

In a glade, they paused. Jiraiya didn't look as if he'd move another inch, say nothing of walking miles to the famed toad mountain. Naruto frowned. "What're we doing here? Aren't we going to that old toad guy?"

"In a minute," Jiraiya said, sitting down on a log and rifling through his backpack. A second later his hand emerged with a stack of paper. He put it down on the log beside him, bit his thumb, and slammed down his hand.

Smoke billowed up. Once it had cleared, a living, breathing - and strangest of all: speaking - toad sat before him. It was small, thin, and wore a pair of round glasses.

"Is that the new manuscript?" it asked.

"Yeah," Jiraiya said. "Can you do me a favor, deliver it to Hitoko and go over the line edits with him? I'd do it myself but I've no idea if I'll find time in the near future. Things are moving fast."

The toad picked up the stack of paper. It scanned the first few pages and made an appreciative noise in the back of its throat. "This is good, Jiraiya-chan. Don't worry about the deadline. A few all-nighters with Hitoko and this should be ready to go."

Jiraiya sighed in relief. "Thanks, Gamaboka. I'm sorry for shoving so much work onto you, but you know what's been going on over at Myōboku."

"Indeed." Gamaboka pushed his glasses around, took another look at the papers, then looked up and smiled. "It's a pleasure as always to see that you're keeping on with this. I'll make sure Hitoko retains your artistic vision."

"Very good." Jiraiya scratched the back of his head. "Sorry to cut this meeting short already, but Pa's waiting. I'll see you around."

"You as well, Jiraiya-chan." Gamaboka slapped a webbed hand onto the stack. "And never you lose your spark! The world's a better place with your work in it. Don't you forget it." With those words, the toad puffed away.

Jiraiya closed his backpack and swung it over his shoulder. "Now, we're ready to go."

Naruto looked at him. Toads didn't speak. They weren't supposed to wear glasses either, or fiddle with manuscripts. He'd read tales of Gamabunta, companion of the Yondaime, but none of those had ever said anything about speech. A toad that spoke! How damn amazing was that? Could they also do math? Or cook ramen?

Before, when hearing of this elder toad guy, it hadn't really settled in - far too abstract to think about with all the other stuff going on around him: the Uzumaki book, the last days of the Academy, the exams, the appearance of a Sannin in his kitchen.

But now? Having seen a real, crazy, glass-wearing toad . . .

He clenched his fists. His lips drew up in a sharp grin. A Sannin to squeeze for stories plus an amazing adventure . . . he'd won the lottery, plain and simple, and he'd never won the lottery before - all the crumpled tickets piling up in one corner of his apartment could attest to that.

"You're drooling, Naruto."

"Am I?"

"No, but you might as well be, given the way you're staring at me." Jiraiya laughed. "But who knows . . . play your cards right, do what I say, and maybe I'll teach you how to summon toads. How's that sound?"

Naruto snapped a salute. "I'll be on my best behavior, Jiraiya-sama."

"He looks like a rotten mushroom!"

The elder, lying high up on his pillow, let out a wheezy sound, more death rattle than chuckle. Pain flared up at the back of Naruto's head. He turned to Jiraiya, whose hand was raised to deliver another smack should it become necessary.

"That's no way to talk bout the elder!" the little toad, Pa, said to Naruto's left.

"Well, it's the truth, isn't it?" Naruto's voice lost some strength toward the end though, the closer he looked at the elder's face. It was contorted. The uncomfortable kind of contorted. Not the one that said, 'Goddamn, I stubbed my toe trying to find the bathroom at night in another home,' but the one that said, 'I've not much longer to go, but I'm keeping on anyway.' Not so funny after all. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I was just . . . surprised."

The muted roar of a waterfall was some distance away. Otherwise there were none of the things he'd imagined he'd see traveling to this place. Instead of walking, they'd been wooshed through a tunnel of colors and arrived in front of the elder who'd seen him in some strange prophecy.

That old guy should really get better before he's fiddling with seeing the future and stuff like that. He's not looking too hot, even for a toad.

Jiraiya's hand was still raised though, so he kept his mouth shut. And the old toad was moaning. Not a good sign. Not at all. But the legends said toads were among the most powerful summons. They ought to have some mysterious juju to cure one of their own, right?

Jiraiya's hand landed heavy on his shoulder, gently pushing him forward. "Go up now. His voice isn't so strong that you can hear him from down here."

"Okay . . ."

Naruto went up the stairs. Another toad, old like Pa, walked past him down to Jiraiya. She threw him a pitying look but said nothing.

Up on the platform, the elder's blackish skin looked much worse. Every inhalation set the shriveled skin to shudder. As if it was moving on its own, a writhing cloak around the elder.

When the elder's eyes focused on him, Naruto took a step back. They were alive and sharp, and something in them screamed of a power that went straight over his head. Eyes like Jiji - just . . . heavier than that even.

"Sit by my side, oya . . ." the elder said, and Naruto had to strain his ears to even hear that whisper.

He edged closer a little, then shook his head. No need to be afraid. Toads were the good guys. He might look a bit on the shabby side right now, but that elder wouldn't do anything to him. He strode forward then, and sat down next to the elder's face. "What's up, old toad?"

The blackened skin around the elder's lips sloughed off as he smiled. "I . . . I can't talk too much, oya."

"I've noticed."

"You will have to . . . have to follow me inside."

Naruto arced his brows. "You don't really look as if you can go anywhere right now."

The smile stretched a bit wider. More charred skin peeled off around the corners of the elder's mouth, drizzling down like ashen rain. The brazier next to him emitted itchy smoke that smelled of leaves, earth, and medicine.

"Touch my hand . . . oya?"

Touching that skin wasn't high on Naruto's to-do list, though that didn't say much since he tended not to keep any such lists anyway. Still. With some apprehension, he rose to his feet and walked over to the large hand, and pressed his palm gingerly on a spot on it that didn't look too bad, comparatively speaking.

"Done," he called to the elder. "What now?"

"Now you follow."

The elder coughed once, then the atmosphere around him shifted. For a second a blue shimmer coated his body, its glow growing stronger, stronger, until vanishing abruptly.

"What - "

The floor broke away beneath Naruto's feet.

He was hurtling through darkness, freezing wind blasting his face, whipping his hair about. There was a scream sounding from every direction, echoing loud enough to burst his eardrums. Then the echo caught another echo, multiplied, grew louder. Naruto opened his mouth to scream himself as he was dragged farther down into the black, but his mouth was already wide open. The voice. It was familiar. His own scream? What the hell?

He picked up speed, blasting ahead like a loosened arrow. His jaws hurt from the screaming. His eyes stung, tore up. He closed them, but now it was like crying in the dark while moving at the speed of a cannonball.

I swear I won't ever play pranks again! Jiji!

Splash.

He broke head-first through water. He was struggling against the current that was pulling at him. Up. Up! He flailed his arms around. Come on. This couldn't be so hard. Swim, Uzumaki. Goddamn, swim!

Another push, then he was above water, gasping for air, treading with strong, panicked kicks as the current was still trying to suck him underwater. But he was getting a hold of things. And boy, he'd kick that old toad's ass once this was over. From Myōboku to Konoha if need be.

"Oya? Why're you not standing up, child?"

"I'll give you standing up, you silly old toad!" Naruto took a step forward, and another, before looking down at himself. He stood in shallow water that was lapping gently at his ankles. Lights winked across it.

Up ahead, on an island surrounded by darkness, sat a young toad wearing a pink coat adorned with flower petals. Hanging from the branches of a tree, paper lanterns swayed gently.

"Are you . . ."

"I am," the young toad said. "Just an earlier version - far earlier. About, oya, a few hundred cycles I'd say - but I like it much better. Won't you join me? Earlier you looked as if you didn't like the water too much."

Yikes. With quick steps, Naruto left the shallows behind, burying his feet into the island's soft sand. Like warm, silken slippers. But he couldn't let himself be distracted. That young-old elder toad guy had some answering to do.

"What the hell was that? And why're you young all of a sudden?"

"I am not really young, child. One cannot reverse age. But this is the representation of myself that I like to keep in my mind when I seek peace and quiet, oya."

"What's that mean?"

"You know what it means."

"Are you telling me that I'm in your head or something?"

"So you do know." The elder hopped forward until he was directly in front of Naruto, looking him up and down. After a moment he said, "You are the child I saw indeed. I can see it all around you, oya. Listen then. One day, there will be a meeting between you and the Creator. He will come to this world of his making, and call upon you. When that happens, you have to answer him, and with that decide the course of change."

Naruto cocked his head. First to the right, then to the left. At last he said, "Bubba-bubba-tok-tok."

"Oya? What does that mean, child?"

"It means I've got no idea about any of what you just said to me. What is this place? And who's this Creator? And why should I be the one to answer him?" Naruto crossed his arms. "Honestly, I thought going with Jiraiya would be all kinds of cool - but what's up with this ride so far? And all the blackness? You know, I don't think I want to know. I'll have my own adventures eventually, no need to hitch a ride here. Besides, I've got exams coming up, and there's a ramen bowl with my name on it waiting on me back home. And I've got more pranks to plan and my book to write. So, if it's all the same to you, I'd like to leave now."

The elder regarded him, his coat ruffled by wind. Naruto had no idea why there even was wind inside a mind. Maybe so it wasn't musky or something?

Silence stretched. The yellow toad-eyes looked fixedly at him; not one motion was visible in the elder's expression. More silence. More staring.

Naruto wouldn't lose in a contest like this though. He'd done this with Iruka and Jiji often enough. No way he'd give in now.

Minutes went by.

Then the elder said, "If you listen to me, I'll teach you something interesting."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"How to summon toads."

"Jiraiya's already going to teach me that." I hope.

"No he isn't, oya. Not without my permission."

Naruto flushed. "That's blackmail, that is. Can you even do that?"

The elder shrugged as much as a toad was able to. "I'm the elder - when I say "no" to a summoner, it is binding for all toads."

That was a good argument. Naruto narrowed his eyes, but no matter how hard he stared, that old guy wouldn't budge. He had the same air about him as Jiji when Naruto was trying to test the boundaries of his generosity at Ichiraku's.

Defeated, Naruto sat down in the sand. "Let's hear it, then. But please say it in a way I can understand. I've got no clue what you meant earlier - and you've got to hold to your end of the bargain."

"A summoning contract is not to be bargained, child."

"You were the one to offer it."

"Freely, of course. Not as a cheap attempt at barter, oya."

Tell me another one, Naruto thought. "What's the deal, then?" he asked. "Who is this Creator? Why do I have to talk with him? And can you tell it like a story please? That would make it easier to understand I'd say. Much easier."

"A story? Very well." The elder settled back. He cleared his throat, and began to speak:

"Once, there was neither the light of the sun, nor fresh wind or purling water. There was only darkness - all-consuming, everlasting. Or so it seemed. But stagnation is not upheld forever. The nature of all things is change, child, and so too it was with darkness. Within this eternal black void, a being was born, a creature of vast power."

"That creator guy you were talking about."

"Indeed," the elder said. "This being - it wanted nothing. It had no idea what need even was. And since it wanted nothing, needed nothing, it had no drive to find anything - thus the Creator continued to exist, blind to all save itself and darkness. But it was a start." The elder chuckled. "An infancy full of boredom one might say - think, child, of living lifetimes without anything but your thoughts. Would it not be maddening?"

"If it were thoughts about ramen . . ."

"There was no ramen yet. There was nothing."

"No ramen?"

"I'm afraid not, child."

Naruto leaned back in the sand, letting out a noisy breath. No ramen? Now that was dreadful to think about. He looked at the elder. "So what'd he do, that Creator? I mean the name's kind of giving it away already, but since he's the creator of everything, he's also the origin of ramen, technically speaking. I'd say it's proper to have him introduced the right way."

"It was as it had been with the darkness. Change. As the Creator grew, he became aware of his powers, and eventually there was a spark, a flash of interest. And so the sun was made, the earth, and all the shades upon it. Nature followed. And at last, the world of living things. Animals came first; and among those, toads were the oldest. Then arrived the snakes. Though coming from the same father, they were too different and soon embroiled in petty rivalries of which no one today knows what started them."

Naruto grinned at the elder. Toads were the first, huh? "Suppose I go to the snakes tomorrow and ask them, will they say the same? That the toads came first?"

The elder made an annoyed gesture with his hand. "Of course not. Snakes have neither a sense for history nor for accuracy. They'd tell it just the other way around. Most of them can't even tell you where their tails end and their bodies begin!"

Naruto said nothing to that, letting the elder rant a little about the insufficiency of snakes.

Old people loved complaining. Especially to one another. He'd watched that in Konoha, too. Two old veterans meeting at the door? Ten times out of ten they'd talk about old times, when Iwa had still feared Konoha - and how, surely, Iwa was even more horrible now than it had ever been before. Those Iwa people simply had no decency. They lacked refinement and ate rocks, for goodness sake. Or so it was said.

After a while, Naruto asked, "So after the animals, the Creator made us?"

The elder nodded. "The Creator was not satisfied with the creatures he had shaped: and so he tried his hand again, growing more experienced in the making of life. One by one he gave birth to all the other animals, until at last he formed humanity, which he regarded as the height of his achievement. A silly notion if you ask me, but who are we to argue? Once he had reached this pinnacle, the drive left him however. He grew bored once more, and eventually left our world behind, promising to return one day to see what had become of his creation, and if it was worth keeping. Or if, perhaps, he should start over."

Naruto blinked. "Starting over sounds a bit drastic. Like, can't he just let us be?"

"It is not as easy as that."

"Why?"

The elder opened his mouth, then closed it again. "Things can be murky sometimes, child," he said after some deliberation. "I do not know why the Creator is returning, or what exactly he expects of us. But I've seen both of you, clear as daylight. His path will eventually intersect with yours - that much is sure beyond even this hazy concealment called the future."

"And now? What's that mean to me?"

"Nothing, at least for now. Continue as you are - all I wished for was to tell you of your fate. Nothing more, nothing less." The elder yawned. "This is tiring, child. It is time to say goodbye for now. I am sure we will meet again."

"Wait," Naruto called. "I still got questions - "

With a sly grin the elder snapped his fingers. Naruto awoke, his head pounding. He lay on his back at the base of the stairs that led up to the elder.

"You're awake," Jiraiya said. "Good. How are you feeling? That was a nasty hit."

"Hit?"

"You fell down the stairs a few minutes ago."

"I did?"

With a groan Naruto climbed to his feet. Up on the platform, the shriveled black husk of the elder was snoring. It sounded peaceful. "Will he be alright?"

"Maybe," Jiraiya said. "But come now, let's talk somewhere else. This place doesn't feel right for it."

That was true enough. Naruto threw the elder another look, then followed Jiraiya down the mountain upon the mountain. Hopefully they'd get that elder toad up an leaping again. He might be a blackmailing little fellow, what's with the summoning contract and all that, but he really didn't look healthy up there. No one - not toad, not human - should have to suffer like that.

And I need some time to think this over. Damn it. Of course this had to happen just before the exams.

AN: I hope you enjoyed yourself. If you have a question, leave me a comment and I'll get back to you. If you have no questions and still want to comment, I'm not going to stop you either. And if you think this right here is the most shameless kind of whoring, well then I will not in the slightest bar your way to venting your frustration in the comments. Also, should there be further modes of commenting that I have not yet mentioned, please tell me in a comment.