You Were Absolutely Worth It

Hell is nothing without a little pleasure. To make the pain feel spectacularly awful, one has to feel the good.

~o~0~o~

It was an arrow in the back.

The battle had taken its toll for the day, a truce in place until dawn. Camp half finished, they split up searching for firewood. Merlin had been picking at twigs and watching from afar as the coward wearing Camelot's colors tiptoed over the brush and took aim at the prince's back.

Merlin's eyes flashed in time with the crack of the bowstring.

The man who did not deserve a name was dead within the second.

Merlin ran, tears stinging in his eyes, branches scratching at his face. The pitiful sticks he had gathered thumped to the ground as he dropped to his knees.

He had been too late to catch Arthur.

He frantically looked around but all he could see was blood pooling beneath him, black in the moonlight.

"He- help!" He croaked. "Arthur!" He yelled. Arthur's eyes were open and unseeing. "Somebody help me!" He shouted. Then, he just kept shouting.

No words, just screams.

His magic responded to the plea, whirling out from his shuddering fingertips. He was unaware of what he was doing until he blinked past the haze and saw a perfect circle of magic had stripped the growth of the forest around them. A circle of dead, barren land splintered around Arthur's final resting place.

Eyes open or shut he could only see Arthur's slack face, tilted away with the arrow propping his limp body.

The magic had done nothing to save him.

Arthur was dead.

Arthur was dead and there was nothing Merlin could do.

He did not even die in Merlin's arms.

It was too late. He was too late.

~o~0~o~

"There has to be a way to get him back!" Merlin yelled at Gaius, tears spilling down his cheeks and dotting the dirt beneath him. The blood no longer looked black in the physician's tent. Just a blinding shade of red.

"Merlin," Gaius tried to placate with trembling touches but nothing was working. "There is no way. He's gone. Not even magic can save him now. I know you're upset. I know he was your friend. But we must make preparations."

"No. No." Merlin screamed wildly, "He can't be dead! We have so much more we need to do! He has not yet been made king! He cannot die!"

"Merlin, there is nothing you can do. There is no spell or flower or remedy. There is no cure for him."

"No. I refuse to believe that. He is my destiny and my destiny cannot be dead!"

"Merlin..." Gaius swept away the gray hairs clinging to his sweaty, blood-smeared brow, at a loss.

Merlin could not stop moving, could not stop pacing.

This never should have happened. His magic should have known something was wrong. He should have sensed that someone was about to attack Arthur. He should have been there.

"I have to do something," he muttered aloud, choking on bile jammed in his throat. "Anything."

"There is nothing more. You have done all you can. Let him rest."

"I just need some time, Gaius. I'll go to- to the castle- to the dragon- I'll-"

"He's gone," Gaius whispered, "He's a corpse. That is all that is left of him. A body. You cannot save him!"

"No."

Merlin scrambled out of the tent and sprinted for the horses. His steed bolted into the night and he rode until it refused to take him a step further. He toppled off and allowed it to graze as he walked ahead, blindly keeping stride until his legs gave out and his knees collided with the stones scattered across the crossroads. It was too much to stand. Muscles screamed when he tried, his bones smacking against the rocks again. His hands struck the ground and he stared at the empty shadows between his fingers. The dirt caked like the blood trickling from Arthur's mouth.

He pushed, but his elbows buckled. Open palms turned to fists and he clawed at the earth, shaking with half broken sobs. When he ripped into the cool mud and exposed it to the midnight moon, he shattered. He bawled devastating nonsense at the mess seeping into his trousers and clutched at his throbbing head.

"Emrys," a silvery voice cooed from behind.

He whipped around to see a shadowy woman standing not three paces away. He must not have heard her approach above his sobs. She appeared to be of a higher class, dressed in an elegant flowing black gown with long, dark hair to match, and not one bit of guilt showing on her striking face for intruding on his weakest moment.

Then the wind picked up and magic decided to finally show itself, cringing away as the inky black aura of this creature closed in.

"Who- What are you?" His voice came out raw and rough, his head bowed- too pathetic to do more than cower. He was almost certain she had not heard him and opened his mouth to request she leave him alone when the gravel crunched under her boots.

"I am the answer to your problem." The fringe of her dress brushed across his soiled fingertips. "You want to save the life of Arthur Pendragon."

Merlin gasped and snapped his head up, desperate for any drop of hope she could give him. "You can help him?"

"I can." She smiled and curved her arms out from her sides. "I have a very particular kind of magic, Emrys." She blinked slow and her dark eyes glowed an alarming shade of bright, blood red. "Magic that will allow me to bring him back to life. For a price, of course."

"Of course." Merlin nodded and scrambled to his feet. "A life for a life, I understand. I will gladly give you mine in return for his."

"How noble of you. A life for a life." Her gaze burned like fire as it drank in his withered frame. "But what about a soul for a soul?"

He did not hesitate. "Of course."

She lapped up his eagerness with an obscene moan. "Perfect. In exchange, I usually allow ten more years before collecting the debt-"

Merlin's eyes widened. Ten years more with Arthur was more than he ever expected. Her smirk made it clear it was more than she expected too.

"In this case," she continued. "Since it is your soul for the life of a Pendragon, I'm afraid ten years just won't be good enough."

"I'll do anything," he whispered earnestly.

"Hmmm. You've put me in a rather good mood." She liked her oily lips and slipped into a bone-white toothy smile. "I'll give you one year before the hounds come to collect your debt and your soul becomes mine. Do we have a deal?"

"Yes," Merlin immediately agreed.

She sauntered closer and grabbed his face between her palms. He hissed as her fingers scraped along his cheeks, leaving a stinging trail of heat in their wake. His magic coiled in his gut and threatened to lash out at any moment, but he breathed it back under control.

"A kiss to seal the contract and Arthur Pendragon will once again be one with the living."

Merlin stared at the pools of blood reflecting in the smirking creature's eyes, adrenaline screaming in warning, and then closed his own. He leaned down and fitted his lips to hers, kissing her as she kissed him.

The air around them swirled with powerful magic, his golden wisps bombarded by a black smoke –painfully losing their ground. The dark magic coiled around his own, fighting its way into his body by sneaking through their moving mouths, choking the air from his lungs.

It felt like swallowing a stone dipped in acid, cutting its way down his throat and settling viciously in his gut. He could feel it expand from within, sharp like hot iron as it sunk into his muscles, into his bones, staking its claim. The nausea followed- an agonizing twisting of his insides as his life force was torn open and used. His head spun and knees shook. He could barely feel the arms of the red-eyed woman clawing at his sagging back.

A familiar thread of yellow light fluttered in the space between them. Sky blue eyes and a gasp of desperate breath flooded his consciousness for only a moment. Despite the lack of control, Merlin was able to produce a small smile.

Abuse of body, mind, and spirit ripped away. Left to him was only the feel of the woman as she tugged on his lips. She tasted of ash and brimstone, a harsh bitterness that made his drooping self recoil. He gasped in a breath and immediately gagged. She kissed him longer still, biting on his lips hard enough to scrape a drop of blood. Only then did she pull away.

When Merlin opened his eyes, she was gone.

He stumbled back to his horse and rested for the night, unable to find the energy to mount. When he woke, the sun had long since risen and his horse was ready. He rode slower than he had the night before, but anxious energy still clouded him as he made his way back to the battlefield.

He ran directly for the physician's tent and burst through the flaps without any warning.

Empty.

"No, no, no, no, no," he whispered to himself and spun toward the prince's tent instead. He had to be there. It had work. They wouldn't just take Arthur away from him. Not before he had the chance to say goodbye.

He held his breath and flung inside. There Arthur was, sitting up and drinking a glass of water. Merlin burst out into a relieved laugh and smiled brightly as Arthur looked his way. Arthur was clearly tired but he was alive and that was all that mattered.

"Merlin," Gaius called from the corner, both alarmed and angry.

"Arthur!" Merlin said, ignoring him. He ran straight to Arthur's bed and fought down the urge to wrap him in a hug. He lost that fight and nearly pushed Arthur back into the pillows as he spoke into his shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Arthur mumbled wearily, and bat at him until he let go.

"Merlin, can I speak to you outside?" Gaius cut him off before he could argue, "Now."

Merlin nodded and smiled once more at Arthur before following the old man through the flaps.

It was clear he was furious, forgoing the usual disapproving eyebrow and instead clenching his fingers tight and hissing, "What did you do?"

"Arthur is alright, right? He's okay?"

Gaius shook his head, more pale than usual. "He was dead, Merlin. Beyond saving. He had no blood, pieces of arrow wedged in his back. Now his color has returned and his wound is completely healed. No trace of a scar. What did you do?"

"What does he think happened?"

"Everyone saw. The knights carried him here-" Gaius sighed sharply and gave in to Merlin's begging eyes. "I told him he was hit with an arrow and lost a lot of blood but that he would recover, and quickly. I even bandaged his false wound."

"Thank you."

"Merlin. Do not make an old man angry. I will not ask you again. What did you do?"

Merlin could not stop smiling. "I saved him, Gaius."

"At what cost?"

"What I was willing to pay." Merlin quickly added, "Look, I'm alive, he's alive. We are alright."

Gaius furrowed his brow but inclined his head. "I will not let this go, my boy. You will tell me. For now, you can look after your prince."

Arthur was surprisingly docile compared to his usual self. Once Merlin had annoyed him one too many times with his happy smiles, Arthur found it in himself to snap at him to make himself useful.

Useful. He had 365 days to do just that.

~o~0~o~

Camelot won the battle and there was a large feast to celebrate. Merlin attended Arthur and the knights, as was his duty, but after they had their fill it was his turn to sit down and enjoy.

"You're eating the cheese dates." Arthur gaped at the sight of Merlin eating and drinking everything in sight.

"Mhmm," Merlin agreed around a large chunk in his mouth.

"You hate cheese dates."

"Might as well eat them while they're here!" Merlin said cheerfully and popped another into his mouth, filling up another cup of wine as he did.

Arthur watched him fretfully but eventually turned back to his knights and listened to more heroic tales from the battle that he had not witnessed.

Merlin helped him change that night, sick to his stomach with food and drink but all with a smile on his face, no complaint to be had.

"Merlin," Arthur said cautiously as Merlin threw the bedshirt over his head.

"Yes?"

"Are you alright? You seem… extra cheerful. I know we won the battle but you usually aren't so… celebratory."

"Oh, I'm fine. Just glad you're okay." He tugged on the bandaging Gaius had tied and slid the shirt down the rest of the way.

"Funny," Arthur said and laid down. "Everyone was sure I would be dead and yet I can't feel a thing." He wiggled his back to emphasize. "Why is that?"

Merlin swallowed and smiled again, "Gaius must have given you something really good. He is good like that, you know. It's why he's the physician. The royal physician, no less."

Arthur hummed and rested his head against the pillows, closing his eyes. When he realized Merlin had not yet left for the servant's tents, he blinked one eye open and sighed. "Is there a reason you're still here?"

"Oh," Merlin flushed. "Um. Would you mind if… Can I sleep here tonight?"

"You want to sleep….here." Arthur looked around his tent and back at Merlin.

"Just on the floor. I promise I'll be quiet."

"Um…" Arthur intently inspected his forehead, as if it were possible to check for fever with just sight. "Alright?"

Merlin jumped and ran to get his blankets before Arthur had a chance to change his mind.

Five days later, they were all back safe and sound in Camelot.

360 days to go.

~o~0~o~

Merlin tripped up the stairs when he realized the count. Time was ticking by much quicker than he expected. Heart pounding in a panic, he turned to where Arthur should have been making fun of him for his clumsiness, but the prat was not there. Merlin knew Arthur was just checking in with Uther, he had said as much, but the memory of those blue eyes –unblinking and unfocused- flashed and he wanted to scream. He was not sure how he would make it now that they were back and expected to separate. Never again would he not be there when Arthur needed him.

Merlin finished helping Gaius return to his chambers and then hurried to Arthur's side.

"Merlin, are you sure you didn't hit your head or something?"

"What? Of course not, Sire. Why?"

"You just seem very willing to serve."

"I'm just happy to be here."

"Right."

Merlin did not quite know how to bring up wanting to sleep on Arthur's floor again so he settled for sneaking into the chamber next to the prince's for the night. It was actually meant for the manservant, so it was not as if he were doing anything wrong.

The next day, when Merlin saw Gwen he had the impulse to hug her as well. She was very confused but hugged him back around her stack of laundry, pleased all the same.

"It's nice to see you too, Merlin," she giggled.

"We should picnic later," Merlin pulled back quick and knocked her linens to the floor. He jumped up and down as he returned them to her waiting arms, laughing at his own brilliance. "I always wanted to picnic by the lake but we haven't done that. We should do that soon."

"O…kay." Gwen glanced at the last towel lying beneath his boot. "Sure."

He bent to pick the towel up and threw it in the air with victorious pride. "And we'll have honeycakes. We rarely eat honeycakes!"

"Um…" Gwen sputtered at the towel thrown over her face. "Are you… feeling alright?"

"Never been better!"

Merlin really had never been better. There was no weight on his chest or nagging in his head. He did not feel paranoid about his magic or worried about his future. He knew exactly what his destiny would entail. He had a little less than a year to help Arthur make plans for Albion and that was exactly what he planned to do.

Gaius, on the other hand, had another plan.

Multiple days of continually being at Arthur's side was apparently too much companionship for the prince to handle.

"Go to Gaius!" he snapped at Merlin's offer to rub his feet. "See if he needs help or can fix… whatever is going on with you. Just…go."

"But-"

"Go, Merlin!"

"Can I come back to serve you dinner?"

Arthur looked completely dumbfounded, "You're asking to work?"

"Is that so strange?"

"Yes. Yes it is. I really am starting to get concerned about you. Go to Gaius, this instant."

Gaius was pacing, ready for him the moment he stepped in the door. It had been almost five consecutive nights since their return, not one of which had he stepped in this room without Arthur by his side. Gaius must have been worried, if that eyebrow was anything to judge by.

"Sit," Gaius said instead of a greeting.

Merlin sat and waited. Gaius just stared. He wouldn't stop staring. Merlin started squirming.

"Talk," Gaius finally commanded.

Merlin cringed. He had been hoping to put this off long as possible. "I…."

"Yes?"

"I…um…" He fiddled with a splinter sticking up from the table, refusing to look at Gaius directly. "I… made an arrangement… of sorts."

"Of what sorts?"

"I…there was this woman. I was on my way back to the castle when I stopped at this crossroad and… she was there. She was magic… I think. She knew me. She called me Emrys."

"A witch?"

"I don't know." The splinter stabbed his thumb and he pulled it away, catching the scowl Gaius was sending him. "Her eyes weren't gold. They were red."

"Red?" Merlin nodded mutely which prompted Gaius to say, "I want every detail you have. Spit it all out. Now."

Merlin did. He told him everything down to the very last detail, to the way she tasted like brimstone and ash. Gaius looked pale by the end of his tale. He did not speak, merely stood up and opened one of their many banned books, handing another to Merlin.

A part of Merlin was relieved Gaius did not automatically know how to break the deal behind his back, but a part of him was disappointed for just the same.

It was time to research.

355 days to go.

~o~0~o~

Research, of course, brought them nothing. There were many stories of creatures with red eyes but nothing lined up with what Merlin experienced. Gaius was getting more frustrated by the day while Merlin was ready to let it all go.

"There's nothing to be done, Gaius! There's no answers hiding in one of these dusty books! It's been over a week. We are wasting our time here."

"Saving your life is not a waste of time."

"I don't need saving." Merlin closed the book he had been reading for the sixth time and shoved it towards Gaius. "I offered myself up."

"If sacrifice is so forgiving, then allow me to take your place instead."

"No." Merlin stood and turned towards the door. "Never again."

"I am an old man, Merlin. I-"

"It won't work." He spun back and threw his hands up. "She wanted me. That's that. It's done. Arthur lives so he can be king. There is no cure or spell or potion. I'm not going to waste what time I have left looking for one. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is."

Gaius stood slow and bowed his head towards their pile of fruitless effort. "Forgive me, Merlin. But I cannot believe that."

346 days to go.

~o~0~o~

The next month was a haze of food and drink and serving Arthur, a smile plastered on his face at all times. It was wonderful seeing Arthur in his rightful place, ahead of the knights and in command. Merlin could foresee how amazing a king he would make purely from watching him on the training grounds. He was sure to tell Arthur that as much as he possibly could.

At first, his compliments and words of encouragement were met with awkward stares and thanks, but lately they had been met with worry and concern. Merlin was always sure to steer him away from those troubling thoughts. There was no need to worry Arthur about anything relating to him. Arthur had to focus on his own future. He actually had one.

"You have such a great destiny ahead of you, My Lord." Merlin handed him one of the many dulled blades and bent to re-tie a lace on his boot. "I hope those of us who will be around to see it will appreciate all the work you put into it."

"You are so…." Arthur waited until he was standing to finish, "I cannot figure you out."

"I am quite the mystery."

"Did you see Gaius when I told you to?"

"Come on, Sire. Training awaits!"

Arthur was not the only one giving him those looks. Gaius would naturally look sorrowful whenever Merlin saw him, but Merlin knew he would one day accept his sacrifice for what it was. Gwen voiced her concern more than once but it would not stop her from joining him on their picnics or walks through the forest when he asked. Morgana even looked at him more often than normal, but she never said much to him about it.

"Merlin," Morgana called him into her room when he passed by with more laundry.

"Yes, My Lady?"

"Are you…" She eyed him calculatingly. "Has Arthur been treating you fairly?"

"As fair as he usually does," he joked.

She did not laugh.

Morgana and Gwen exchanged a not-so-subtle look. "And Gaius?" Gwen asked.

"Everything is fine, My Lady." He looked to Gwen and nodded. "I promise."

Everyone knew something was not fine but there was no reason to let them think anything was wrong. In fact, Merlin did not see anything wrong. The world was a brighter, livelier place and he was going to enjoy every moment he had left in it.

309 days to go and he was going to live every moment in this freedom.

~o~0~o~

At least, he felt that way until day 304.

Arthur led his knights well and therefore it was required of him to lead them off the training field and into actual battle.

Merlin was biting his lips bloody at the thought.

This was not going to be a battle. Not really. At least, nothing like the last one where Arthur ended up… almost dead. It was just a league of bandits harassing one of the trading trails. All they had to do was defeat the bandits, which witnesses had totaled at seven, and be done.

Merlin would not let Arthur out of his sight this time, not for a single second.

"Perhaps you should stay here for this one," Arthur said cautiously.

"What?" Merlin's heart immediately dropped. His throat closed off and his stomach started to turn. "Why?"

"You've been acting…off."

"I promise, I'm fine. I want to help."

Arthur eventually agreed, if a bit reluctantly.

Of course, not letting Arthur out of his sight for a single second was a great thought in theory but battles are messy. The prat had taken off in the opposite direction and Merlin could not stop him in time before one of the bandits had landed a lucky blow and sliced open Arthur's arm.

Merlin saw the blood start to bead up between silver links and then the world began to blur.

He did not even bother with his magic. He charged at the man who had struck Camelot's future king and, in the disbelief, the man had not expected Merlin to turn his own sword against him. The man fell to the ground and Merlin spun to face the next threat.

The next bandit turned when he heard the scream of his comrade and Merlin slit his throat before he could say a word. Then he moved on to the next and the next. Soon there was not a bandit left standing. Only Camelot's knights and Merlin.

"Arthur!" he yelled and threw the sword to the forest floor, diving to his knees to check on Arthur's arm. "Are you alright?!"

Arthur looked up with what appeared to be horror, but that could not be right. It was only Merlin trying to tend his wound. "I'm- It's just a scratch, Merlin!"

It did not look like a scratch but it was hard to tell when Merlin was covered in so much blood himself. He peeled Arthur's armor away with slippery fingers and forced himself to see past the red. He breathed out a sigh when he saw it truly was not as bad as he had imagined.

"You have to be more careful. You can't just go around getting sliced open by people. You're going to be king one day. A great king. You cannot die before that happens. You can't die. You can't! You-" Merlin had not realized he had begun to tear up until Leon put a hand on his shoulder.

"Merlin," Leon said, "He's alright. Why don't you get the horses together for us?"

"I can't leave him, two of-"

"I'll watch over him. I promise."

Merlin looked up, still half in panic and nodded slowly, forcing himself to peel his body away.

When he was out of earshot, Leon leaned down into Arthur's troubled face and whispered, "Have you been training Merlin when we weren't looking?"

Arthur's eyes locked on the blood smeared across Leon's palm. "No. I wouldn't… He's not meant… no."

"He seemed a bit…"

"Berserk."

Leon gripped Arthur's shoulder. "The last time you were in battle we were all sure you were dead. I think Merlin took it a bit hard. Perhaps you should talk to him."

Arthur found Merlin's blood-soaked body, unmissable against the vibrant green bushes, and nodded.

303 days to go.

~o~0~o~

Arthur waited until they had returned to Camelot to talk to Merlin. He even waited a few days to give them the chance to collect themselves before bringing it up.

"We need to talk," he began confidently, standing behind his desk and nodding at Merlin to sit down.

"About what?" Merlin asked cautiously, refusing to actually sit.

"About what's going on."

Merlin's mouth instantly clicked shut. His eyes searched the room, landing on the window. "It's autumn, Arthur. The leaves normally change color like that."

Arthur took a deep, kingly breath instead of flicking his manservant over the head. "I'm not joking."

"Neither am I. It really does happen."

"Dammit, Merlin!" Arthur slammed his fist on the table. "You killed five men with barely any provocation- all by yourself I might add. And with no training. All because I was nicked by someone's knife!"

"You were bleeding. I'd hardly call that a nick. And I thought you'd be impressed. I must have picked up some skills from watching the knights."

"You were-" Arthur struggled to find the words. "I've never seen you like that before. And frankly, I never want to see you like that again."

"I'm obviously fine!"

"You could have and probably should have died! You can't just do that!"

"We're all going to die someday," Merlin said, as factual as his comment on the leaves.

Arthur flinched. "I admire your loyalty Merlin, I truly do. But you cannot just throw your life away like that."

"Why not? I would gladly die to protect you."

"There is a difference between protecting someone and throwing yourself on the blade."

"I don't see it. Now-" Merlin promptly turned towards the cupboard and pulled out shirts, "-do you want to wear the red tunic or the blue one? I think the blue one because-"

"Tunics? Are you mad?" Arthur shook his head, contemplating smashing it against the stone. "I am trying to talk to you about how you were crazed and murdered five men in a cold rage -which is the scariest I have ever seen you- and you want to talk about tunics?"

"Blue is my favorite because the red one isn't-"

"No! You always want to talk about this kind of thing. This girly-" His hands flared out. "Whatever. We are talking about this." Another kingly breath and he said, "I know you have faced your own mortality before so tell me what is different this time. You've been acting strangely for weeks now."

Merlin fiddled with the red tunic, folding it and unfolding it over again. "Have I?"

"The knights think it may have had to do with my near death but you… It shouldn't be affecting you in this way."

"In what way?"

"You're not acting normal! Showing up to work in a timely fashion. Asking for more chores. You only leave my side when Gwen or Morgana agree to distract you. You're asking to go on hunting trips. You keep talking about- about the future as if… Well- You sleep in the next room, Merlin!"

Merlin's gaze dropped to an imaginary hole in one of the cuffs of the shirt. "I didn't know you knew that."

Arthur strode around the table and demanded, "You will tell me what is going on this instant."

Merlin met his gaze with conviction. "Nothing's going on. You're alive, the battle's done. Now do you want blue or-"

"Stop." Arthur pushed the shirts away. He gripped Merlin's shoulders and squeezed. "Do you need help? Are you feeling- Are you having some kind of mental crisis?"

"Yes, all your bossing around has finally gotten to me." Merlin forced a small smile and slipped from Arthur's grasp, walking and talking as he laid clothes out on the bed and neared the door. "I should take a day off. Do you know, I've never been to the coastline before? We should go before it gets too cold. I'm just going to give you the blue one. I'll be back with your cloak."

He talked himself out of the room.

Arthur's cloak was hanging in plain sight, right over his chair.

298 days to go.

~o~0~o~

Arthur left Merlin with the training knights and snuck away to see Gaius. Instantly, he knew Gaius was aware of the problem, whatever it may be. His face was heavy with extra wrinkles, his pale hair ashy and dull, and his eyes were lined dark enough to make it clear he had not been sleeping well in weeks. He was hunched over a multitude of books that he quickly tried to clear away as soon as he saw it was Arthur.

"Oh, Your Highn-"

"Stop," Arthur raised a hand to signify it was alright and closed the door behind him. "I came to talk to you about Merlin."

Gaius swallowed audibly but tried to keep his tone calm as he asked, "Is something wrong, Sire?"

Arthur paused a moment, just staring. "What are you both not telling me? What have you been hiding? What's happened to him?"

Gaius looked ready to evade, but with the amount of exhaustion clear in his eyes, there was not much of a wall to break down. He cracked under Arthur's stare easily and muttered, "It's not my place to say, Sire."

Gaius' fingers fluttered across the books, his gaze following the pointless patterns until he became unfocused, his watery eyes becoming even glasier.

Arthur swallowed nervously, clenching his fists. "He's… He's scaring me, Gaius. He's always been obnoxious and- anxious, I suppose is a word for it. But this is just ridiculous. It's not normal. The way he speaks now. As if he thinks… he keeps talking like he won't be… around. I don't know if it's just a phase or if he plans to… Just, tell me… Tell me. Will he be alright?"

Gaius eyes dropped to the table.

Arthur followed the tear gravity pulled to the floor.

There was no answer.

Arthur left without a word.

When he returned to his rooms he found Merlin fussing with the bed.

Arthur silently watched for a few moments, trying to compose himself into knightley stoicism. He stepped further into the room, and faced Merlin, arms crossed. "I tried to talk to Gaius today, about you."

From the way Merlin's back tensed, Arthur knew he could sense Arthur was in no mood for any jokes or quips. Merlin just nodded his head and asked, "What did he say?"

"He wouldn't tell me what this is. But he knows. He told me to ask you."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Yes?" Arthur stepped closer as Merlin continued to fiddle with the same corner of the pillow. Locking Merlin between his armor-clad body and the wall he asked, "Then why did he look so worried? Why, Merlin, was the man who I've seen face sickness and death every day of his life with the bravest of faces, near tears? Why?"

"I don't know," Merlin murmured around a swallow. "I'll go and fetch you some food so you can work on your speech. I like agreeing to give to the poorer-"

"Merlin," Arthur pushed Merlin's shoulder into the wall and held him against the bedpost. He waited for Merlin to lift his head. The boy never did. "Tell me."

"I need to get you food. Let me go."

"Not until you-"

"Please," Merlin choked out.

Arthur tried to refuse him, but Merlin muttered something, somehow managed to slip out from under his grasp, and practically ran for the door, slamming it behind him. Arthur slammed his hand into the wall as hard as he could, relishing the biting scratches on his palm.

286 days to go.

~o~0~o~

Gaius read every book he could get his hands on, met with contact after contact, put himself more at risk every day, trying to find the creature Merlin described. His return to the crossroads failed. He studied more scrolls and books but these too failed to hold the answers he sought for either beast or contract.

He was out of options. All but one.

He had mixed feelings about what he was about to do, where he was about to go, but he needed to know. If Merlin did not want to save himself, then Gaius would have to try for the both of them.

Alone.

Down the bowls of Camelot's castle he dove until he reached the lowest point, the point of no return. There he entered and called into the cave, "Hello?"

Wings flapped from overhead, the wind from their thrusts nearly knocking him off his feet. Kilgharrah stood tall and proud, glaring down at him with nothing but repugnance.

Before the dragon could speak, or more likely spout out flames, Gaius bowed his head and said, "It's Merlin. He needs your help."

The dragon's roars of fury would add to Gaius' nightmares for the rest of his life.

262 days left.

~o~0~o~

"A crossroads demon! Do you realize what you've done, you stupid little boy?!"

Gaius was screaming and all Merlin could do was gawp in open mouthed shock. Gaius never yelled like this.

"Do you realize what will happen to you?! What you're going to go through for all eternity?!"

"Gaius-"

"There is no undoing this mess you've made, Merlin! Demons feed on power and with the power you provide, the demon will be fed for life! There is nothing we can do, nothing I can offer! You will be tortured forever and there is nothing I can do!"

Merlin knew tears were streaming down his face when the blur prevented him from seeing beakers exploding against the wall in a rage. Each crash of glass made him jump in turn.

"Selling your soul! Stupid boy! You are such a stupid child! Stupid!"

Merlin gagged on a sob and whispered a broken, "I-I'm sorry. I didn't- I-"

"Stupid, stupid boy. I am going to have to watch you die and know that you- that you- that you-" Gaius broke off to throw a book into the mess he had created and broke down crying himself. "Idiotic child."

Merlin did not know what to do. There was no more to say.

He had not known.

He ran into the hall with acrid tears clogging his eyes and throat, unnoticing of the prince he raced past.

A guard called Arthur about the fight overheard in Gaius' chambers, but this was not what he expected. Merlin did not answer the call of his name and when Arthur pushed the door open and saw a catastrophic mess surrounding Gaius' hunched figure, he faltered in step.

"Gaius?" he asked tentatively. "What…What happened?"

Gaius kept shaking his head back and forth. "It is not my place to say. Merlin is the one you should-"

"Damn your place!" Arthur regretted yelling at the cowering old man but he could not stand this anymore. "Merlin will not tell me. I need to know. I need to help. What is going on?!"

"We cannot help him."

The anguish in that whisper had Arthur pausing to catch his breath. He rounded Gaius' front and sank to his knees in tune with his plea, "Tell me. Please."

Arthur gasped at the sight of pure abysmal heartache on the man's face.

"Please do not punish him for what I am about to tell you."

261 days left.

~o~0~o~

"That was all he told you?" Merlin asked quietly, head bowed as he hunched further into the corner of the bed he had been using ever since their initial return after Arthur's near death.

Arthur had finally found him in his room adjacent, sobbing and gasping for air. Arthur had been screaming when he barged in, but broke down alongside Merlin, his voice and body unsteady as he tried to coax Merlin away from the wall.

At first, nothing Arthur said could get him to move. He continued rocking back and forth, barely able to breathe. But apparently Arthur thought Merlin speaking was an adequate enough reason for him to start yelling again.

"That you blindly made a deal with some demon sorceress to save my life? And that she will have complete control over your soul the moment you are gone? Forever in Hell? Was there more to tell?!"

Merlin mutely shook his head. Gaius did not mention the Emrys bit then, or his magic. Arthur probably would be yelling with a sword if that were true.

"Why?" Arthur's voice cracked again but he forced himself on. "I was dead. Why would you do it?"

"Do you really need to ask?" Merlin gawked at him but quickly directed his attention to the layers of dust on the walls. "You are going to be king one day. The greatest king. You will unite the lands in a time of peace. Save people's lives. I am nothing compared to you. Nothing to Camelot."

"You're something to me." Arthur's face was rapidly crumpling. "Hm? Did you think of that? Idiot."

"Yeah, I got the idiot bit thanks." His smile was painfully feeble.

Arthur sighed and sank to his knees, palming Merlin's shoulder. "We will find a way to fix this."

"There is no way. The drag- The source. Gaius' source is- is very reliable in these sorts of things. He said there is no way. The deal is done. The contract signed. It's over. It doesn't… It doesn't change anything. I knew I was going to die in a year's time. I knew she would get my soul. Nothing has changed."

Arthur roughly shook his head and squeezed Merlin's shoulder painfully tight. "Idiot."

260 days left.

~o~0~o~

Everything had changed in Arthur's eyes.

He checked the skin of his back often but could not feel nor see a mark to establish his death. No scar. He did not have any memory of it.

In those moments, he could pretend it was all a lie, a bad dream. It never happened and he never found out the truth.

These moments were very short lived because Merlin was always only a step away and the moment Arthur's eyes landed on him he was punched with such absolute misery he could not imagine how any arrow could have felt worse.

However, he could not find it in himself to make Merlin leave his side. The flashes of Merlin's face lifeless and cold or distorted with horrible pain, burned by Hell's flames, were bad enough when the man was in the room able to prove his temporary life was still puttering on. When Merlin was not as his side, panic would overtake him. Panic and a crashing wave of guilt that would buckle the knees of a weaker man. Even so, Arthur noticed himself sitting more often than not when waiting for Merlin's return.

"Come," Arthur said, abruptly changing their course and destination from the training field to the next wing.

"Ah- what?" Merlin asked, tripping over his legs in order to catch up.

"We're going to see Gaius."

"Gaius? Why?"

Arthur just stared at him.

Merlin's face fell and he whispered, "There's no point, Sire. We've been over this. Gaius has looked. There is nothing we can do."

Arthur ignored him the entire way there. When he opened the door, sans knock, he found Gaius hunched over a pile of books, just as he left him last.

He could feel Merlin about to complain and, without a word, Arthur sat down opposite Gaius and opened the first book he saw. Beasts of the Magical was the title. Arthur could not find it in himself to care about any consequences he would face seen holding such a thing.

Merlin did not speak but he did not pick up any of the books either. He watched the two read until he became bored and then set about cleaning the room, the mess from the earlier shouting match still littering the floor.

Arthur was going to try. He had been in the dark for too long. Months were left and he had nothing to offer. Gaius at least found the answer, Arthur was going to help find the solution. Merlin, even refusing to help, would at least be spending time with the both of them until… Until they found the solution.

251 days left.

~o~0~o~

The books led them nowhere. They had exhausted every tome they came across and nothing could tell them how to defeat this crossroads demon of magic. There were vague descriptions and mentions of contracts that could not be broken, but there was nothing more. Nothing useful.

Gaius reached out to contacts Arthur pretended not to know about while Arthur used his rank to discreetly gain more knowledge. If found out, he would simply say he heard rumor of such a creature in the outer towns. His father would at once want the problem dealt with and would offer plenty more resources to fix it -though his father would be less understanding of needing to know the magic involved and would prefer Arthur went in with swords swinging.

To defeat magic, one must know magic. How his father had not yet realized this, Arthur was unsure. It was only something he just started to fully grasp himself.

After months of turning up nothing, Arthur begged to meet the man Gaius had met, the one who told him it was a crossroads demon in the first place. Perhaps the man had lied, perhaps he had not truly known, or perhaps the right questions were not asked. Arthur needed to hear it for himself.

"No!" Merlin shouted. "Gaius, he can't!"

"Why not?" Arthur shouted back.

"Gaius!" Merlin pleaded, ignoring Arthur entirely.

Gaius paused for a heavy moment and then said, "It would be unwise, Sire."

"And why would that be?" Arthur demanded, looking between the two of them. "Is there seriously something else you are not telling me?"

"Gaius," Merlin whispered. "Please. He can't."

Arthur's plea went unanswered.

182 days left.

~o~0~o~

"Because I said so and it's my life and I will do what I want with it. What's left of it. You are not meeting him and that is that."

Arthur actually growled. "I am your prince," he cut Merlin off with an arm, blocking him from descending the rest of the stairs. "I want to know why you take this man at his word when it has to do with your life. I command you to take me to him."

"Before you are king you should learn how to take the word no for what it means. No." Merlin ducked under his arm and quickly started down again.

"You are infuriating!" Arthur huffed and followed.

"Good!"

After a few more paces, Arthur stopped. Merlin stopped as well.

Arthur waited until Merlin turned to him and decreed, "If you will not take me to him, then I want you out of my sight for the night. I'm not sure I can stand to look at you without wanting to slam my fist into your head. Sleep in your own quarters tonight." Merlin's crushed look almost made him waver. "I'm serious. If I find you in the royal chambers I will get the guard and throw you out. And that's final."

Merlin stomped off in a huff.

As soon as everyone in the castle was fast asleep, Arthur mounted his horse and rode the trail towards the former battle where he had died. He knew the path Merlin took and there was only one crossroad along it. It was not hard to find at all.

It was well past midnight by the time he reached the spot and dismounted. The bright moon shone brighter reflecting off snow covering the forest floor, this part of the trail free from trees and open to the full extent of its rays.

Arthur circled the spot, searching the tree line for any movement. Nothing. It was pure silence. Too silent.

"Show yourself!" he demanded.

The only sound came from the echo of his call and his horse crunching across the ground.

"I am Arthur Pendragon, son of Uther Pendragon, Prince of Camelot and leader of their knights. You will show your face to me this instant!"

"People don't usually call me like that," a sultry voice called from behind his back. Arthur spun and saw the woman, this magical creature, her black-clad figure silhouetted by the eerie glistening of the snow. An uneasy feeling settled in his gut. She smirked at him and said, "It's considered quite rude. Not that I expect a Pendragon to know the proper summoning rituals."

"I'm not here to discuss niceties."

"No. I know why you're here." She stepped towards him, leaving no tracks in the snow behind her. "You're here about Emrys."

Arthur braced himself, forcing his limbs not to respond to her heated gaze by falling into a fighting position. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She paused and studied his brow. "Oh my," she giggled, the horrid sound echoing off the trees beyond. "He didn't tell you, did he? Of course not. He's not a complete idiot then."

"Tell me what?"

"Who he is."

"Who, who is?"

"Oh," she pouted and patted his cheek. "This is just getting pitiful. Say what you want, Pendragon, so I can watch your face as I tell you no."

"A boy named Merlin came upon you, about a half a year ago."

"Merlin, you say?"

"Yes. He exchanged his soul for mine."

"Oh, oh yes. Pretty young Merlin." She licked her lips and smiled, her eyes flashing a simmering shade of red, unholy and terrifying in the night. "I remember now. He was delicious. I'll enjoy keeping him as my own. He's your servant, for now, correct? Maybe you can give me some pointers before he's gone. Tell me what his best-" She looked pointedly down at his crotch and flicked her eyes back up with a suggestive pucker. "-abilities are."

Arthur swallowed down his remark and tightly said, "I want you to break the contract."

"Oh," she laughed again, "And why would I want to do that?"

"You can have me in his place."

"The prince coming to save his manservant in distress? How adorable." She flicked her hair over her shoulder. "But do you really know what you are signing up for?"

"He lives, I die. You get my soul for all eternity."

"It's more than just that, my knight in shining armor." She leaned into his space and his already uneasy feeling intensified ten-fold. She grinned, savoring every twitch of his jaw as she described her plans. "When the time comes my hounds will come for you. You won't be able to see them. They will be nothing but shadows in the dark. You won't be able to run or hide. Only be able to hear their battle cries as they attack. By then it will be too late. They will rip your physical form to pieces and leave me the juicy inside." Her hand hovered over his chest. "I will take your soul to the place I dwell. The underworld. A place of terror. Hell. There I will torture you every moment of eternity. Do you know how much pain you will suffer? How long eternity is? No one will hear your screams but me until the end of time."

He swallowed once. "So you'll do it?"

"Arthur," she gasped and pulled his face close to hers, her mouth whispering the word across his lips, "No." He yanked his head back as she continued her demented laugh. "I really thought you would have been smarter than that!" she cackled. "While I would love nothing more than to have a Pendragon on my rack, there is already a place reserved for your daddy. Why would I need you? Your soul is worth nothing unless you fulfill your prophecy. Until then, you're just a beardless child pretending to fit into his big boy crown."

Arthur just barely resisted the urge to touch his burning jaw, but that would mean letting go of his sword. "I know not of this prophecy, but Merlin cannot be worth more than I. What use could you have of him?"

She would not stop laughing.

"This is so wonderful. I'm not sure I want to spoil it by telling you. Maybe he will now that he's going to die. But if he's waited this long… no let's just have it out then, shall we?"

"What are you talking about?"

She paced around his immobile form, circling him, trapping him. "When I gain a soul, I take all its power. That's what souls are, really. Essentially. And Merlin's soul glows so bright."

Arthur's frown furrowed further. "You want him because he… is good? Has a good heart?"

"How nauseating. No. While I do enjoy the irony of having an undeserving man to flay open at my heart's desire, I could just pick you if I wanted only that." She leaned in and whispered, "But that's not the best part."

"And what is?"

"Imagine what I could do, how powerful I could become from someone born from Earth herself. Someone created of the Old Religion. Someone whose power could never run out. No one would have access like I. No one would unlock the secrets he holds inside. I could become queen with that power. More."

"He's just a boy. What are you-"

"A boy? No." She circled nearer until her wicked grin was the only thing he could see. "He is an entity. He is legend. He is Emrys. He is magic. He is the most powerful sorcerer in all the world that was, is, or ever will be. And he will be my prize possession for all eternity."

A wet smack echoed through the open air.

Demon and knight looked down to find Arthur's sword embedded in her stomach, blood slowly oozing from the wound.

The monster looked up, smiled, and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

167 days left.

~o~0~o~

Merlin jumped when the door to his room banged open. Gaius and his sleep were apparently disregarded as Arthur stomped in before the sun had even risen.

Merlin's foggy mind snapped awake when Arthur whipped the sheets off his bed and forced him to sit upright. "What the-"

Then Merlin's vision cleared and he paused.

Arthur was disheveled and madly furious. He was in his riding gear but it was not on correctly. His hair was a mess. He was breathing fast. His face was scrunched and red, and his fists were flexing, one on the hilt of his bloodied sword.

"Emrys?!" the madman practically screamed.

Merlin froze. Panic and fear lodged in his throat and chest. His mouth opened but said nothing.

Arthur's face coiled in disgust. "So it's true? Everything she said is true?!"

"You went to see her?" Merlin's heart jumped and he leaned over to make sure the blood dripping into the puddles of melting snow was not coming from Arthur.

"You lied to me!" Arthur tossed his body back, as if Merlin's very proximity were too vile to tolerate. "You- You cannot possibly be-"

"Did you make a deal?"

"You're an idiot!" He started to pace, nearing the door on every turn. "You cannot be a sorcerer, let alone-"

"Did you make a deal, Arthur?!"

"And with magic you damned yourself to-"

"Arthur!" Merlin's eyes flashed gold and the door slammed shut with a deafening crack, stopping Arthur from escape. "Answer me right now! Did you make a deal with her?!"

Arthur turned slow. With utter shock and disbelief on his face and in his voice he said, "No."

"Oh gods," Merlin sighed in relief. "Did she do anything to you? Did she hurt you? Did she-"

"She's not the one who hurt me."

Merlin's eyes fell to his hands, twining together in his lap.

Arthur continued, "She told me what is going to happen to you. She told me why she wanted your soul and not mine. Emrys."

"I'm sorry. N-not for making the deal, I'll never be sorry for that- but-"

"You will change your mind on that."

"I am sorry for…" Merlin's throat bobbed. "-the other bit."

"The bit where you have magic? That bit?"

"Yes. That bit."

"That bit's a bit more than a bit, Merlin!"

"I know. But-"

"Save it." Arthur shoved the door open. Before leaving he threw over his shoulder, "You deserve what's coming to you."

167 days until the end.

~o~0~o~

"He didn't mean it, Merlin. If you just spoke with him, explained what you use your magic for-"

"No, Gaius. It doesn't matter. Not anymore. Let him hate me. He can get a new manservant. He'll have to get used to not having me around anyway. What's the difference between now and summer? Maybe this will be easier."

"Merlin-"

"No. Just- Let me be for a bit. Please."

166 days until the end.

~o~0~o~

Arthur's voice filled the room, "What are you doing here?"

Merlin shifted nervously from the other side of the table. He gestured with the tray in his hands before setting it down. "I'm here to serve you breakfast."

Arthur's face showed nothing. He stepped to the side and opened the door fractionally wider. "Get out."

"If you would just let me explain-"

"Explain what?" The door slammed shut. "That you have lied to me all this time. That you tricked your way into the royal court. That you are a traitor to Camelot, her people, and me! That you should be hanged or burned at the stake with the crimes you have committed!"

"I've committed no crime!" Merlin tripped over the sudden accusation. "I'm not a traitor!"

"Could have fooled me."

Merlin growled and threw up his hands. He did not miss the way Arthur flinched. "You might as well kill me now then! If I'm really that awful. I'm just going to die anyway!"

"That's right." Arthur's face hardened further and he marched around the table, coming closer. "The demon will do my work for me. Magic killing magic. It seems fitting."

Merlin did not mean to take a step back. "I do not use my magic in the same way as that creature."

Arthur hurled his gloves down on the table. "Magic is evil in all forms."

Merlin's mouth worked faster than his muddled mind could stop it, "You sound like your father."

Arthur's mask slipped and fury morphed his face into an ugly rage. "My father is king."

"That doesn't make him right!"

"You would say that, sorcerer."

Merlin was seething, breathing hard to keep himself from screaming. He swallowed once and stood tall, ignoring the massive build of the man crowding him in. "You are better than this, Arthur. Better than your father. You are able to see beyond prejudices." Merlin's voice slipped into pleading tones. "Do you honestly think I would bring any harm to Camelot?"

Arthur's jaw twitched and his arms crossed. "If not that, then why are you here? Why Camelot? It's the only thing that makes any bloody sense."

"Because of you!"

"A magic user comes to Camelot to clean the prince's boots? That's what you want me to believe? Not to spy or-"

"No!" Merlin's threw up his hands again. Arthur jumped again. He did scream in frustration that time, pulling at his hair and stepping closer, Arthur now the one to take a step back. "I mean- not to- but- there is this prophecy and-"

"Yes, what is this prophecy?" Arthur regained his composure and pushed back into Merlin's personal space, a hand resting on the hilt of his sword. "Are you working with the demon? Did you tell her to say that?"

"Working with- of course not!"

"Then by all means, do go on. What prophecy?"

"The one where you turn into a great king and I help you get there and-" Merlin grimaced as Arthur's stony gaze continued, unwavering. His eyes started to sting. He was doing nothing but making a blubbering mess of himself. "Oh gods, it wasn't supposed to go this way."

"So sorry to put a stop to your plans, Emrys."

"Look, I- I've only ever used my magic for you. To help you! I don't have any plans." His voice cracked and the burning water in his eyes threatened to spill over at any moment. "I never had a plan. I just knew I had to help you and when you were- when- I had to do something!"

"I should be locking you in the dungeons right now."

"Just let me-" Merlin reached out to him.

That was a mistake.

Arthur leapt back from his touch, his sword hovering between them. Merlin begged him with his eyes but Arthur was not moved. There was no mercy in his steely gaze. There was something worse. Pure and absolute terror.

"Leave." Arthur said low, the steady hands of a warrior failing him as his blade wobbled. "I don't wish to see you again."

"But-"

"Guards," Arthur murmured. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Guards!"

Merlin shook his head and stepped slowly back until he reached the door. He opened it behind him and whispered, "I'm sorry." Then he ran.

163 days until the end.

~o~0~o~

"You have done a terrible thing," the dragon's voice rang out, the echoes drilling deeper into Merlin's already aching head.

"I've been told," Merlin muttered from his seated position by the opening.

"You will not be brought back. Those that enter the realm you are now destined very rarely return."

Merlin snorted to himself. "Are you saying there is hope?"

"Any hope you have will soon be lost." The dragon pulled back, its head dropping. It had been disappointed in his decisions before but this level of condescension was new. Everything it said was just a reminder of how poor a job Merlin had done. He was not really sure why he came down here. "Albion is lost. Your destiny ruined at your own hand."

Merlin chewed on his fingers for a moment, shaking his head. "Arthur is still here. He can still unite the lands."

"With the events you have set into motion, there is no guarantee. Without a half, the thing cannot be whole. Arthur will be lost without you."

Merlin thought back to Arthur's face as he called for the guards. "Doesn't really seem that way."

"He may already be."

There was a long pause while Merlin tried to fight off the panic and tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. Again. He really wanted that to stop. "What do I do?"

The dragon seemed to consider this a moment, though there was no doubt in Merlin's mind that it had already been thinking on this answer. It was in the dragon's best interest for Merlin to be alive, at least this much selfishness Merlin was sure of.

The dragon waited until it had Merlin's full attention and spoke with great pains. "The demon can be killed but with power as great as yours, your contract will not be lost. You will be passed to another. There is no escaping the fate you have chosen."

Merlin fought for a smile but lost. "Right."

"You have a strong will, but even yours cannot outlive eternity. Eventually your sanity will depart and your soul will darken." The dragon paused. "You will return to this world as the monster you once fought against."

"What? And become like her?" The dragon stared. Merlin saw himself, eyes glowing red, fire streaming from his palm. "No," He snapped. "Never."

"Arthur is the Once and Future King," The dragon snapped back, its patience waning. "Perhaps in that time he will return to stop you. You will still be two halves, forever intertwined, on opposing sides."

Merlin continued shaking his head. "How do I stop that from happening?"

The Great Dragon paused, its eyes closing as it listened to the rapid beating of Merlin's fragile human heart. "There is one thing you may do."

"What?"

"A spell of your own creation. That which will allow you to keep a part of your sanity. You must tear a part of your soul away and hide it in this realm." The dragon's talons tensed and its wings snapped. "It is easy to be swallowed by the dark. One must fight for the light."

Merlin's face scrunched in thought. Tearing away a piece of his soul? That sounded painful, to say the least, and familiar. "You mean like Cornelius Sigan?"

Cornelius had kept his entire soul in the jewel. The demon would not like it if Merlin hid his 'payment' from her- which was probably why the dragon had not suggested it. Tearing a piece…it seemed impossible.

"You think I can create a spell like that?"

The dragon nodded. "You are magic itself. Difficult, to break apart the essence of what one is, but it is possible. Leave a piece of yourself in this world, a part that she will not be able to touch. Stay strong separated and you will stay sane."

Merlin's mind was already racing with the possibilities, the weight of the world returning to his shoulders. "Could you help me?"

"For that I would need a promise."

Merlin was a bit wearier of agreeing to things without knowing the full terms –do not say he never learned anything- so he asked skeptically, "What?"

"You once said you would free me. You gave me your word. I too am running out of time. You must release me."

Merlin grimaced and looked around the emptiness before him, his fast, unsteady breaths echoing for miles. He nodded reluctantly. "I will. Before I… before it happens. I will. But, please, if Gaius comes to see you again, don't tell him what we're doing. I don't want to give anyone false hope. They have to live their lives after I'm gone. Not worry about helping me -or any part of me- left behind."

160 days until the end.

~o~0~o~

"Is something wrong with Merlin?" Gwen asked Arthur worriedly as she set his dinner in front of him.

"Hm?" Arthur grunted absently.

"It's just that… well he hasn't been in to serve you in a week's time, Sire. I thought perhaps he was sick. He looked a bit peaky when I saw him yesterday."

Arthur smirked without mirth. "The only sickness Merlin has is in the head."

"Oh." Gwen clicked her jaw shut and smiled ruefully. "I see."

"See what?"

Gwen shook her head. "Oh, it's not my place, Sire. Sorry. Forget I spoke."

"What?" Arthur snapped and then, after a pause, added more gently, "Gwen?"

"It's just…" She pretended to pick at her nails for a short moment and then said, "Well, he's been acting strange and now it seems you've talked about whatever has been bothering him and it seems as though you two are having it out, is all. Both just wallowing in your misery while the other thinks the other is fine."

"I am not wallowing!"

"Of course not, Sire." She curtsied and bustled out the door.

Arthur threw his spoon onto his plate and muttered, "I'm not."

153 days until the end.

~o~0~o~

"Oh, sorry," Merlin mumbled when he saw Arthur standing alone in Gaius' rooms. "I'll just… I'll come back after you're done."

"Get in here. Close the door."

Merlin did as he was told and then stood awkwardly, shuffling his feet as Arthur continued to stare, arms crossed. It was… very uncomfortable. Images of the pyre were burned into his mind, as was the sentence to exile. Both would result in Merlin not being able to rip his soul apart with aid from the dragon –not that he had much hope of completing the task. The worry that engulfed him almost constantly wanted him to ask which disaster it would be so he could prepare, but it did not feel right to be the one to speak first.

Finally, Arthur said shortly, "You could have told me."

Merlin stared, awestruck.

It took Arthur's intent inspection of his forehead to rush him into purging the prepared speech repeated during years of imaginary conversations, "I wanted to. But all the secrets kept piling up and-"

Arthur held up a hand. "Let me finish. You could have told me, but I know why you didn't."

All the air swam from the room. "You do?"

"I have a duty to my father and my kingdom's laws. They are my priority."

"I know."

"As is justice. So, tell me Merlin," Arthur pulled out a chair and gestured for Merlin to sit. "How long have you been practicing magic?"

Merlin tentatively sat and shifted uncomfortably. "Am I on trial?"

"I'll be the one asking the questions." Arthur gripped the hilt of his sword and waited.

"Alright." Merlin forced the small smile back down. "Well, I have been doing magic since I was born. My mother said the first thing I did was pull blankets over myself… from across the room. I didn't actually get to look at a book of spells until I came to Camelot, ironically."

"Born with magic?"

"Yes, some are born with it."

Arthur seemed to take that answer in stride, fiddling with his sword for only a moment before he nodded in acceptance. "Why did you come to Camelot?"

"My mother sent me here. I think she wanted more for me. Wanted me to keep out of trouble. Have the laws keep me in check. Little did she know I'd use my magic more here than anywhere else."

Arthur did not find his smile amusing. "What type of magic do you use?"

"It's not really a type. Magic is magic. I use many different types of spells. Cleaning and things like that mostly. Keeping warm in winter. And, ah-" Merlin reddened, "-saving your life."

"Saving my life?"

"Yup." He bit his tongue so he wouldn't seem overly excited at finally getting this bit of information out in the open.

Arthur looked uncomfortable. "And how many times exactly have you saved my life?"

"A lot more than you'd think." Merlin chuckled but left it there, for now.

Arthur took a few steps back and forth before nodding and turning to Merlin with his arms crossed. He looked set in his decision. "Do a spell."

Merlin flinched. "What?"

"Do magic. Right now. Go on."

Merlin gulped. He was drawing a blank. He never had Arthur as an audience, never really planned to. At least not for a long time, especially not with Uther around.

He looked around the room, as if making sure other knights were not hiding behind the bookcases ready to arrest him the moment he acquiesced. There was no one.

He took a deep breath, raised his palm, and... just held it there.

Arthur cleared his throat pointedly.

Merlin rolled his eyes internally but nodded and mumbled, "Right."

He closed his eyes and concentrated on the bowl residing on the small desk next to Arthur. Magic spiraled from his fingertips and ensnared the smooth edges with ease. Without opening his eyes he knew it was floating, passing Arthur, and landing delicately into his open hand.

"Amazing," Arthur whispered.

Merlin opened his eyes and blinked. Nope, Arthur really did just say that. He broke out into a wide grin and sighed out all his relief, giving room to the bright happiness filling him up. "You really think so?"

Arthur was fighting a matching grin. "Not the magic. The fact that an idiot like you could hide it from me."

"Prat."

The echoes of their laughter soaked into the surrounding walls and bookcases, creating a memory that could brighten even the darkest of upcoming days.

When they quieted Arthur said, "I'm still angry."

"I know."

"Do you know what makes me the most angry?"

"I can take a guess."

"It's not the magic, Merlin." Merlin looked up curiously and Arthur nodded in agreement. "Yes, that surprises me as well. What angers me most is that you took my choice from me. You decided for me. You decided I didn't need to know. Even in this, with the demon. You didn't even give me the choice to save you. You foolhardily made a deal without thinking of the consequences."

"I will not apologize for that." Merlin said automatically and then sighed. "I will for lying. I never wanted to lie to you. I wanted to be the one to tell you. The fact that she- that thing…I am sorry for that as well."

Arthur nodded in understanding but said nothing.

Merlin continued, "The future, though, I suppose we should talk about that. The Great Dragon seems to think you will be lost to-"

"The what dragon?"

"Oh, right. You should probably meet the dragon." Merlin scowled, "Especially since I'm letting him go free."

"You're what?!"

147 days left.

~o~0~o~

Arthur slammed the book he read for the third time closed with a loud crack. Gaius looked up from his reading and Merlin looked up from doing laundry –magically, of course.

Arthur had actually grown accustomed to it, as hard as that was for anyone to believe. After one exhausting day where he commanded Merlin to perform every spell he could muster, he could not find it in himself to be shocked by it anymore. Although he did continue to ask Merlin to perform for him on more than one occasion. Usually to help them continue finding time to research while Arthur still had plenty of royal duties to attend to -most of their studying done well into the night.

"Perhaps we're going about this the wrong way," Arthur proposed.

"What do you mean?" Gaius asked.

"We are trying to find out how to stop the demon, but what about the hounds? The beasts that are coming for…" Arthur's head tilted towards Merlin and his floating pile of socks, but chose not to finish the sentence. "If we can stall or prevent them from attacking, perhaps we could buy us more time."

"She called them hounds specifically?" Gaius asked with interest.

Arthur nodded. "Invisible, unless what she said was just meant to intimidate me. She said I wouldn't, or rather, Merlin wouldn't be able to see them, only hear them. And that they would tear up… Well. She said many things. Perhaps we should ask the dragon?"

"He's actually not all that great a help," Merlin muttered.

All the same, Arthur finally got his chance to meet this 'source'.

Naturally he had heard the rumors about the dragon under the castle, but he had put it up to servant gossip. When he asked his father about it, Uther had told him rumor was exactly the thing -a story told so the sorcerers would have extra reason to fear Camelot. He never had reason to second guess his father nor did he make a habit of going this far down into the dungeons. He never would have known.

Yet, there it was. A great big giant dragon glared down at him as it explained exactly what the hounds were.

"The beasts are enslaved by the demons. Not visible in this realm but physical all the same. They will be the reapers retrieving your soul. Swift and sharp arrows never wavering from their target."

"Which would be?" Merlin asked.

The dragon's tongue lashed out and smacked against its lips. "The soul resides in the space between chest and heart."

"Oh," Merlin flushed white. "She didn't mention that bit."

"You're sure about all of this?" Arthur called, bumping Merlin behind him with an elbow. "Is there no way to stop the hounds or the demon? Do we know for certain that I did not kill her?"

The dragon looked supercilious, though Arthur was not sure how to describe it -something to do with a cocked head and squinting eyes. It shook its head and said, "These creatures are physical but they are not from this realm. No ordinary blade will harm them."

"Oh!" Merlin piped up. "You mean Excalibur?"

"Who?" Arthur asked and Merlin dropped his head to write a note on the parchment he was carrying around.

In a commitment to leave no secrets behind and as part of Merlin's confession, he had been writing down every instance of magic he could remember that would relate to Camelot or Arthur.

Arthur gritted his teeth when Merlin had to turn to a new page, the third in so many days.

The dragon spoke, cutting Arthur off from those thoughts. "Pull one weed and two more will grow in its place. There is nothing to be done."

"No," Arthur said flatly. "You just don't want to admit you don't know. There has to be something."

"I told you, Arthur," Merlin said. "Not helpful. Let's just go."

"I am much older than you, young princeling," the dragon roared. "You should learn to be wise of your elders."

"I'm wise enough to know Merlin made a mistake in promising to let you go. We now know he has a tendency to make deals without thinking them through." Arthur ignored Merlin's twitch. "He did not take into account how much you resent Camelot. How do I know you will not attack my people out of pure spite? Even elders have juvenile tendencies."

"If I may," Gaius chimed in before the dragon could make this a heated argument. "I believe we can come upon an agreement."

"We can?" Merlin asked.

Gaius nodded. "Merlin has agreed to let the Great Dragon go free, but perhaps a pact can be made between Arthur and he?"

"You wish for me to take this thing at its word?" Arthur asked.

"No, Sire. I was thinking of a vow made with magic. It was commonly used before your father's time. It will be impossible to break any terms. One of which could be that Camelot remains safe."

"And how would we go about doing that?"

"All that is required is your word, my lord." Gaius looked to the dragon who nodded. "The Great Dragon will complete the spell."

Arthur turned to the dragon and waited until the great lizard was listening to every word. "You should know that I am not my father's son when it comes to these things. And I have stood idly by long enough. From now on, I shall do my best to help those with magic." Arthur swatted Merlin's hand away from his shoulder. "This I vow. When I become king, I will disband the laws on magic and make it legal once again. No more will I have my people living in constant fear."

"What?" Merlin gasped.

"You heard me."

"You're actually going to… but Arthur you..."

"Banning magic will never work." Arthur finally turned to see Merlin's face, genuinely bright and more cheerful than he could remember it being in a long time. He took great pride in seeing an ear to ear smile fill that ridiculously goofy mug. "We must unite with magic to find peace."

"Spoken like a true king," the Great Dragon said.

"I, Arthur Pendragon, vow to stop the persecution of magic users. I vow to grant you freedom if you do not attack Camelot or her people for as long as you shall live. Do you swear it?"

Magic prickled through the air as their vows were made, golden light mixing with the cavern's dust and whirling from mystic beast to young boy.

"I do." As soon as the words left the dragon's lips the bond lit the air between them, shining off the crevices of rocks as bright as a ray of sun on a clear day. Arthur could feel it as if it were a physical weight in the back of his mind.

The moment the magic dissipated the dragon flew back up to its perch, sending them all stumbling back in the gust of wind.

"Nicely done, Sire," Gaius said.

Arthur said, "Perhaps we can find a way to stop the hounds from coming if we-"

"Why?!" Merlin suddenly yelled at them both. They turned to face the boy swiping at tears Arthur pretended not to see. "We know everything there is to know. We've been reading for months. Books on demons and contracts and witches and Hell and underworlds and hounds and I want to enjoy my time left. We already know the fight is lost. The dragon said there is nothing we can do, time and time again to each of us. There's no hope. It's alright. Albion will be made without me. We just saw what our next king is capable of. Can't we just enjoy the time I have left?"

"I will never give up hope, Merlin." Arthur stomped ahead, leading the way to Gaius' chambers.

144 days left.

~o~0~o~

Arthur knew it was fruitless to rub life back into his baggy eyes but it was worth the try. He had been suddenly called by his father for a meeting in the throne room. The reason, Arthur was unsure of, but because it was Uther he knew appearing as tired as he felt would not be acceptable. His father would not understand why Arthur had been reading books about magic, demons, and hounds into the early hours of the morning.

Arthur jumped at the crack of the large wooden door bursting open and sprung to greet his father. "Father. What is-"

"Arthur," Uther said shortly. "I want to keep this brief."

Arthur nodded obediently. "Of course."

Uther strode down the center of the room and stared. Arthur instinctively wanted to rub at his eyes again, but resisted. All the same, Uther must have heard the thought because he sneered and turned his attention to the throne beyond Arthur's shoulder.

"I've called you here because you've been distracted, as of late."

"Distracted, Father?"

"I want to make this very clear. I don't care who she is. I want it to stop."

Arthur's face crumpled. "Who, who is, Father?"

"Whatever girl you've been seeing that forces you to stay out until all hours of the night."

"What are you-"

"Don't lie to me, Arthur. The guards have reported you returning to your chambers late almost every night for the past few weeks. Weeks! That is only what has been reported to me. Who knows how long this has been going on beyond that."

"I don't-"

"I don't care. You either leave her or she will be relieved of her duty and banished from Camelot. If she is found to be with child, more extreme measures will need to be taken. Do I make myself clear?"

Arthur thought of freckled skin and dark curly hair. He viciously shook his head. "But-"

"A tired prince loses focus easily." Uther rounded him, directing his attention to the empty throne. "This throne should be the only thing you focus on, day in and out. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Father."

Arthur scowled at the throne well after his father left. He needed to be more careful. Merlin would need to sneak some of the books into his rooms -which could only lead to some sort of clumsy disaster. He should also enquire into any spells that would help him appear less sleep deprived when in the public's eye.

133 days left.

~o~0~o~

"Why won't you let us help you?" Arthur growled as Merlin took another bite of his royal dinner.

Arthur said he was full but they both knew that was not true. If a bite of roast ham would put a smile on Merlin's face, Arthur would give it to him.

"Because I'm the one that's supposed to be saving you!" Merlin grumbled around his mouthful.

"Does this have to do with that ridiculous prophecy?"

"It's not ridiculous!"

Arthur's hand slapped the table. "The prophecy is not what matters here. You do. Don't you ever think about what it will be like? The way she talked about using you. Violating you. Haven't you thought about that? I have. Every damn day, Merlin. Every day."

Merlin's cautious smile fell and Arthur could see it in his eyes. Of course, Merlin had thought about it. Arthur woke to Merlin's screaming nightmares the next room over more than once.

Instead of confirming his suspicions, Merlin changed the subject –a talent he exceeded at. Lately it had been brainstorming ways to better the future of Camelot and creating this Albion. Arthur still could not believe in this prophecy but obliged while he could. He would not have many chances to talk so openly about magic and its laws. When Merlin was not talking about Arthur becoming 'less of a clotpole, more of a king', it was usually about the magic, as it was this time.

"Do you know how I thought you would find out?" Merlin gulped down another large chunk of ham. "About the magic?"

Arthur sighed aloud but played along. "How?"

"I always used to think about it. I was always worried. I wasn't always careful. Gaius could tell you that. But I believed I could sit you down one day when you were king and just… I don't really know. Show you? I thought there would be a trial -not for me, for some witch or something- and she performed a spell to save Morgana or a knight or something and you were conflicted and... well-"

"You would be there to change my mind?" Arthur asked on a chuckle.

"Would be," Merlin smiled back.

"That poor imaginary witch."

"Yes, I do suppose you would banish her just to spite me and my magic. Then she would be wandering aimlessly in the mountains, snow in her socks, running out of honeycakes and prunes."

Arthur snorted at the imagery. "Oh, you got me all wrong, Merlin. You would be the one lost with nothing but sticky fingers."

Merlin looked at the slimy mess from the greasy meat dripping down his palms and laughed out loud. "I suppose plan B would have been better."

"What was plan B?"

"Saving your life and you actually seeing me that time." Merlin sighed in longing, "Recognition. A parade. Drinks and dancing and-"

"I still find it hard to believe that you've done it more than once, mind you."

"One of the many times. Knowing me, you'd probably just catch me polishing armor."

"Lazy," Arthur scolded, taking a sip from his goblet.

"There was always the chance that your father found out first and… well that was my least favorite. But I suppose I just always expected it to be me who revealed myself."

Arthur watched Merlin clean his hands with a flash of gold and looked towards the fire, imagining what it would have been if his father really had found out about Merlin. "In these fantasies…. Did you ever imagine I…That I would…"

Arthur did not quite know how to put it but Merlin followed his gaze to the fireplace.

Merlin took his time in answering. "Yes." Merlin's face scrunched and he blinked his eyes towards his empty plate. "Out of mercy sometimes. Other times…"

Arthur leaned over the table and gripped Merlin's arm. "Listen to me. While I have you here, no one will take you away. No banishment, no dungeon, no hanging, and no lick of flame will touch you. I promise you."

Merlin stayed silent but nodded.

124 days left.

~o~0~o~

For the first time in months, time stood absolutely still -and by no magical means.

"What was that?!" Uther's voice booming through the corridor was enough to have Merlin freezing in his tracks, panting breaths punched from his lungs.

Arthur was just as awestruck at the sight of his father barrelling towards their corner of the courtyard where Merlin had just used magic to slide a board over a deepening pothole and prevent the prince from snapping his exposed ankle.

"Stupid," Arthur mumbled and Merlin mutely agreed. "Of all the ways you could have-" Arthur snapped to attention as his father approached. "Father. What seems to be the problem?"

Uther ignored him completely and scowled at the cowering boy unable to look him in the eye. "It is one thing to perform such evils, but to perform witchcraft in the center of my castle on my son is a new level of offence! You have committed treason beyond your puny peasant dreams. You will be punished beyond imagination for such an insult!" He seized Merlin by his neckerchief and yanked him to the ground. "You are guilty and I sentence you to torture until you name those you are working for. Until you name who they are working for. Only then will you mercifully be put to a slow death by-"

"Father!" Arthur's eyes were frantic, his breath coming shallow. "I'm afraid I cannot allow you to sentence my manservant to death when he has done nothing wrong."

"Nothing wrong?!" Uther's hand twisted in the fabric.

Arthur threw out his hands. "I know what it looked like! It was a trick of the light. I swear it, Father. I was standing right here. I would have seen any sorcerery." Arthur swallowed harshly. "Trust me. Merlin is too much of a dunce to be capable of such an act. All he did was kick the board over. Should we punish him for taking aim, for once?"

Uther's red face twisted, a vein popping out from his forehead. "I've heard you defend him before. Why is it that magic seems to follow this young idiot around?"

Merlin choked as fabric cut into his neck.

"I shall look into it," Arthur quickly promised, head bowed. "I want nothing but what is best for Camelot. As you have advised, she is my only focus."

This gave Uther pause. He nodded once and removed his grip from Merlin's neck. "Good. See that your servant spends a night in the dungeons. We don't want anything slipping through our grasp."

"Yes, Father."

Dragging Merlin's gasping body towards the dungeon pleased Uther, but it was not for show. Arthur had to silently carry him the entire way, down to the very last stair.

"I'll come for you before night," Arthur said. "I did promise you, no dungeon."

Merlin nodded against the cold iron bars, but the icy grip on his nerve would never truly thaw.

117 days left.

~o~0~o~

The days were slipping by too fast. 104 left. Then 81. Then 54. Merlin was doing absolutely everything he could possibly think of while he still had time. Arthur accompanied him when he was able.

Together they watched the endless expanse of water bash against the rocky shores of the coastline. The tears welling up in Merlin's eyes could be explained away by the salt in the air but, surprisingly, Arthur did not make fun of him. He just stood silently by his side and closed his eyes, letting the mist wash over his face, bumping his shoulder into Merlin's and leaving it there.

Then there were things required of Arthur, life or death notwithstanding. With 47 days left, a beast came into Camelot and the knights needed to ride out. Their expedition took 2 weeks without rest. Two weeks were gone, just like that.

It was during those two weeks that Merlin witnessed four men die, bloody and messy. The creature had talons similar to a bird's and used them to tear open men's chests and rip out their hearts. It was then he realized what he had agreed to.

It was then he realized he was not ready.

Arthur found him outside on the castle steps, rocking back and forth while staring at the starry sky.

"Merlin?"

"I never learned the constellations. I wanted to but… but I never did."

Arthur sank down next to him and rested a hand on Merlin's shoulder. He soon gave up on the light gesture in favor of wrapping an arm around him and letting Merlin collapse against his side.

"I don't even think I really want to know." Merlin gulped. "There's just so much. There's too much. I can't. I can't."

33 days before the hounds.

~o~0~o~

Merlin led them off the path and towards the lake where he called to the Lady and retrieved Excalibur. Hands outstretched towards Arthur, he bowed his head and said, "It's yours. This is Excalibur. I wasn't going to bring it up until…" He cleared his throat. "It will kill anything, even those things not from this world. It is your sword. I made it for you, long ago."

Arthur slowly picked up what was rightfully his, the air seeming to swirl with approval the moment it was in his grasp. He shook his head and studied the detail, admiring the balance and testing its weight. It was perfect.

He turned to Merlin and asked, "You had a weapon to defeat the demon this entire time and you didn't tell me?"

Merlin looked appropriately cowed. "When I was staring at the constellations… I… I knew what I agreed to. You shouldn't have to see me so...terrified. I've had all this time to come to terms and my year is almost up and-"

"Shut up. You're allowed to- to feel that way, Merlin."

Arthur watched Merlin swallow thickly three times before speaking again. "I don't mean to make you feel guilty or put pressure on you but I… I think I want to be saved."

"Then we shall find a way to save you," Arthur said and put a hand on Merlin's shoulder, squeezing gently. "But, seriously, Merlin. Keeping a sword in water? Have I taught you nothing?"

"It is a magic sword!"

31 days before the hounds.

~o~0~o~

"I have an idea," Merlin said, putting the scroll he had been studying back on the table.

Both Gaius and Arthur waited patiently for him to go on.

Merlin swallowed and continued, "We could use Excalibur to defeat the hounds but what if that doesn't work? As the dragon said, pluck one and two more will grow. I've been thinking about healing magic and how it can be combined with defensive magic. Maybe… Maybe I can make it so that I can't be physically hurt. That way I won't die and my soul will stay inside my body."

"You really think you can do such a thing," Gaius asked.

Merlin nodded and shrugged. "I won't know until I try."

"Will that not make you immortal?" Arthur asked. "I've never heard of something like that."

"I think I'd rather be immortal than dead," Merlin muttered. "Anyway, I can take it off myself when we've found a way to deal with all this."

Merlin and Gaius continued to work on the spell for the rest of the day while Arthur returned to his room -a speech Merlin wrote by magic in one arm and a handful of scrolls in the other. He swore he knew all the unhelpful texts had to offer but hell if he wouldn't keep at it.

After hours of frustrated grunts, Gaius heard a cheer and looked up to see Merlin holding his arm aloft. There he held the tip of a pin and when he tried to press it against his skin, it would not enter. There was no blood.

Gaius gave a nodd of approval and Merlin smiled. They were going to figure this out.

29 days before the hounds.

~o~0~o~

Merlin and Arthur freed the Great Dragon together. It flapped its wings and roared, flying far away from the kingdom with the vow to stay away. The only thing left behind was the spell they had created together, just in case.

Merlin -much to Arthur's delight- had tripped down the stone stairway but there was not a scratch to be had and he was starting to feel confident he would not need the untested soul-ripping magic after all.

27 days before the hounds.

~o~0~o~

They set out for the crossroads. Arthur with Excalibur and Merlin with the freedom to use his magic. Though the books were not very helpful with their particular dilemma, Merlin had been learning a few extra spells that could be useful.

The demon readily appeared at Merlin's call.

"Emrys," she smiled, "And the Pendragon too!" She waved at the tree line and Arthur begrudgingly removed himself from behind one of the trees. So much for a surprise attack. "To what do I owe this honor? Are you here to join me early?" Her eyes hungrily darted between the two of them. "Are we to create a beast with three backs?"

"He won't be going with you at all," Arthur said, Excalibur leading his way.

"Oh, this again." She sighed.

"Do you know what this sword can do?" Arthur asked, glinting the blade off the moon's rays.

"It was infused with the breath of a dragon," Merlin supplied.

"Which means," Arthur said, "It can kill things not from this world. Things like you."

She glanced at the tip and looked between the two of them. "Am I meant to be impressed?"

"You will rip up the contract made between you and Merlin. I will survive. Merlin will survive. There will be no hounds. You will disappear and never return to this land again. Or I will cut you down."

Arthur stepped closer while Merlin raised his arm.

"Going to cut me again, Pendragon?" She scowled dramatically and clutched her side. "I'm hurt! Or will I be? You seemed a bit shocked the last time you gave me that scratch. And really, Emrys? You're going to attack me?"

"It seems that way," Merlin said and took another step while Arthur charged in.

"Oh well," she said, "Always more fun when they fight back."

With a flick of her wrist, Arthur was flying through the air, up and over Merlin's head until he collided with a thunk against the tree he had formerly been his hiding place. Merlin spared him a glance, only to thrust his hand at the demon, his eyes glowing gold and his power pummeling forward.

She hissed as she was thrown back, but soon jumped to her feet and sent both her hands in Merlin's direction, shoving him back against another tree. Her magic used the same acidic burn to hold him in place, pinning him up and off the ground, cutting the air off in his throat.

"Your magic is strong, Emrys. This I will not deny. But you yourself are weak! You are but a child. You cannot compare to what I am!"

"Hal-" Merlin's voice was rough, his entire body locked into place. He desperately reached out for his magic and forced himself to scream the word past his closed off throat. "Halsian!"

Black smoke poured out of the demon's eyes and mouth the moment the spell left his lips. Her red eyes blinked rapidly, sinking back into shades of black as she tripped, nearly doubled over. "Oh, my! That is quite the little punch you've got!"

Merlin crumpled to the ground coughing. When he caught his breath enough he screamed, "Halsian!"

The smoke punched out of her again, slowly sinking back into her body as she crumpled to the ground. She looked up with eyes only black in the middle, a normal white shade ringing the outside. Merlin prepared to yell the spell again when she held up a hand and panted, "You may want to read this before you continue."

"Hal-"

She pulled a scroll from thin air and held it above her head.

He stopped. "What is that?"

"It's your contract. A copy, anyway. Go on. Fetian."

She threw the parchment into the air. It looped over Arthur's form and back to her. Only, when it reached her, she was no longer there.

26 days before the hounds.

~o~0~o~

Gaius was alarmed at the sight of Merlin by the fire, staring into its flames, rocking back and forth. He shuffled over and sat on the stool next to him, leaned in and asked, "Why are you crying?"

Merlin took a few moments to gather himself, swallowing rapidly. Then he gestured to a scroll by his feet and said, "I spoke to the demon again. She gave me this contract. It's mine. It says that if I don't let the hounds take me, then the contract is void and Arthur will die. And then the demon will just find a way to get me. She'll just kill me another way. And Arthur will stay dead. I know I've been saying I don't have a choice but, Gaius, I really don't. It's too late. There really is nothing I can do."

23 days until the hounds.

~o~0~o~

"She knocked you unconscious, Arthur." Merlin punched the tabletop. "She has power."

"But you are more powerful than her!" Arthur yelled from across his room. Merlin had slammed a bit of scroll in front of him the moment he entered, yelling at Arthur about how there was no hope. Arthur gestured to his belt where Excalibur laid. "We'll go to her again and you can threaten to, I don't know, rip her magic away or bind her to the earth so she can't return to that realm." Arthur had learned a lot about magic of the past few months. "Or finish that spell you were doing to her-"

"It doesn't matter!" Merlin's face was red and crumpling. "Look at the contract! Study it yourself! She has me cornered. I can't do anything. Either we both die and go to hell or only I die. I know which one I choose."

"Me too."

"You're not thinking practically! You are going to be king. You are the heir to the throne. You cannot die because of me."

"But you can because of me?"

Merlin chuckled ruefully. "Part of being a royal, I'm afraid."

"Merlin, you can't just give up! We had a solution! We were working on-"

"Read it yourself," Merlin shook his head and practically ran from the room.

Arthur did read it. Then he talked it over with Gaius. This was binding. It even had a section that said both parties did not need to read the contract in order for it to be valid.

Arthur brought it to Geoffrey to see what he could make of it. He looked at him strangely when he read the content but simply did as his prince commanded him. Geoffrey, who had studied many treaties and contracts in his time, said that this was unbreakable. No matter what route they chose, they would always end up at the same destination.

Hope truly was lost.

22 days until the hounds.

~o~0~o~

Days were spent just talking. Merlin told Arthur absolutely everything. Every story he had written down, about their now-ruined destiny and prophecy, about the Once and Future King, about Emrys, and everything else to do with magic, along with things that had absolutely nothing to do with it.

"I have an unnatural fear of potatoes," Merlin said solemnly.

"What?" Arthur laughed over their –fifth- seventh?- glass.

"Will thought it fun to climb on the roofs and throw potatoes at people. I swear when I came here I was terrified that someone would throw a potato at my head from one of the ramparts."

Arthur laughed heartily.

"Potatoes hurt! And I was kind of right. You put me in the stocks. It's not always tomatoes you know." Merlin was laughing too. Until, suddenly, he wasn't. "I want you to know how proud I am of you. I've watched you turn from a prat to- well no, you're still a prat. But… but…"

"Don't say anything, Merlin. I know."

Other days were spent in absolute silence. Picking berries had even happened on one occasion. As had a few pointless rides into the forest. And Merlin learning how to joust. Arthur was up for pretty much anything Merlin suggested and Merlin was willing to do the same.

On some days, in some brief moments, they completely forgot about it. Those were the best moments, while they lasted.

"You are absolute rubbish at wrestling, Merlin!" Arthur laughed after pinning Merlin down for the sixth time in a row.

"Well we can't all be as heavy as you," Merlin grumbled, rubbing his arm.

"I swear, Merlin. When they throw the match next year I might just throw your name in for-" Arthur stopped abruptly realizing what he said.

Merlin cleared his throat and asked, "Rematch? With magic this time. Let's fight this fair."

Arthur shook his head. "Magic does not make it fair."

Merlin's eyes flashed and Arthur was promptly on his back. "One for me."

More than once they tried to stay up as late as they possibly could before sleeping. Just to keep awake, not to waste the time left. In these tired moments, in the wee hours of the morning, honesty was always freely given.

"Your magic, Merlin. I wish there was a way- I wish I had known this side of you sooner. I wish- well… I wish a great many things. But I want you to know that I- want you to hear out loud that I- I accept your magic. Completely. You are so powerful and yet you only use it for good. You've given it up just to save me. You amaze me." Arthur had to clear his throat. "You are wise. You are not an idiot. And I thank you for all you've done, not just for me, but for Camelot as well. I truly do thank you."

Merlin was astounded he had any tears left.

Gaius seemed to be growing weaker by the day, to the point where Merlin actually had to ask him if he made a deal himself. Gaius had not. He did not know how to cope with it. Merlin had made his decision, but Gaius refused to accept there was nothing he could do.

Merlin pulled him aside one night to say his final impassioned goodbye. "This may sound selfish of me- but please, Gaius, live. For me. Help Arthur where I can no longer. Help him be the best man he can be. Like you did for me. Please. And take care of yourself. I don't know if you know this but I love you like a father, Gaius. I can never forgive myself for making you feel this way."

In the very last days, it seemed all that could or would be said was done. They had accepted Merlin's fate. There was only time to wait.

Watching the sunrise, Merlin said quietly, "You're going to be a great king. Just… do me a favor, Your Majesty."

"What's that?"

"Don't die. I don't know how you'll survive without me," Merlin said ruefully, wiggling his fingers in their symbol for magic. "But please don't die."

"I don't know how either. You are a good friend. One might say, my only true friend." Arthur's voice cracked, "I will miss you."

Arthur scooted closer to Merlin's side of the window and brusquely captured him in his arms, pulling his head against his shoulder. There they stayed until the sun had long risen past the trees, both ignoring the way their shirts dampened with silent tears.

When interrupted by growling stomachs, they reluctantly retreated to go about Merlin's last day. When asked, all he really wanted to do was act as if it were any other day. Serving Arthur and pretending nothing was wrong.

On a normal day though, he did not watch the sun slowly descend across the sky. On a normal day, he would not break down crying when Uther called Arthur away for four hours. On a normal day, he would not be trembling with fear at the shadows under his feet. On a normal day, he would not hate himself for being unable to enjoy his food due to an upset stomach. On a normal day, seeing Gwen and Morgana would not make him want to simultaneously hug them close and run in the opposite direction. On a normal day, he would not remove an immortality spell from his skin. On a normal day, he would not be hearing dogs howling in his head.

1 day before… 1 day.

~o~0~o~

"Fram wiðinnan ic abysgian dæl ic min mod brecan freo in stycce clamm to eorþe ic ceorfan ic lichamlic æfre no bindan ær þon andswarian æfre mundbyrdan ic mod lufian ge æfre ic gebod æfre mundbyrdan stycce æfre"

~o~0~o~

It was his last night on this earth and Merlin could not spend it with anyone. He had to get away, to make sure the hounds would not hurt the wrong man.

Every step he took into the sinister woods accompanied another punch of adrenaline from his beating heart, signalling all beasts of his whereabouts. It was a cold night, his breath puffing in front of his face and his body prickling at every whisper of wind. Shapes in-between the trees followed his every step. Snaps of sticks and the wheezing of animals unseen echoed in his pounding ears. It was getting near to midnight.

His insides blazed with the acidic sting of the demon. He could feel it creeping out from his chest and smoldering his fingertips. It would come soon.

He stopped in a clearing far enough away to see the castle but where no one would see him. He did his best to give an unsteady bow in farewell to the place he called home. With shaking hands he reached into his pocket to pull out-

"Arthur?" He stopped at the sight of his prince coming closer, Excalibur raised.

Merlin tried to blink away the mirage and instantly recoiled as Arthur's face morphed horrifically. Those sunny blue eyes darkened to black smoke. Smooth skin peeled away to show the bloody strands of muscles and nerves that twitched in the chilling wind. Those layers too stripped and exposed the hollow bones underneath.

Merlin stumbled back, but in one breath Arthur returned to his natural form. He shook the vision away and gasped, "What are you doing here?!"

"You really thought I would leave you alone to deal with this?"

"You have to let them take me. You'll die if I don't."

"I don't care."

A howl echoed loud and strong. It sent shudders straight through Merlin's chest.

"Arthur, you need to get out of here!"

Arthur searched the section of shadows Merlin stumbled away from. "Can you hear them?"

"You need to go!" Merlin pushed him but he did not budge. "They're close! Get out of here!"

Even as he said it, another loud howl drowned out any semblance of sanity he had left. The ground seemed to shake as the panting grew closer.

"I'm not leaving you," Arthur said.

"Run!" Merlin screamed and rammed Arthur with his magic, but Arthur refused to be moved.

There was a deafening crash of branches and then the trees to their left wobbled. Merlin braced himself, not entirely by choice. His petrified body locked into place and he raised his hands in defense, even if he knew there was no point.

Arthur stepped in front of him as the shaking of the trees drew nearer.

Merlin gasped as Arthur's golden moonlit hair aged to a withered gray, dropping from his head in goopy patches until there was nothing but a skull covered in blood as black as the inky sky. More barking and Merlin whimpered, unable to move. Another howl and this time it sounded like it was coming from behind. Merlin whipped around.

"Are there more than one?" Arthur asked. Merlin could not answer the bloody skull wearing armor. "Merlin!" Arthur slapped a bony hand on his shoulder. "Listen to me, are there more than one? Can you see them?"

Just then, there was a loud bang as one of the trees lining the clearing uprooted, crashing to its side. Arthur moved his attention there and they watched in mutual horror as large, clawed footprints appeared in the mud, one foot after the other, marching closer -but there was no beast creating them. None that they could see.

A smoky, hot puff of breath hit Merlin in the neck and he whipped around, slamming his back into Arthur's as Arthur circled them, sword out and swiping blindly.

"Merlin!" Arthur screamed. "Use your magic!"

As soon as Arthur shouted, the beast behind them attacked. Arthur was thrown to the side with great force, his sword lashing out in desperation. He must have hit the hound for it howled in pain and black ooze glittered against the ground.

Merlin followed Arthur's command when the footprints turned, the wounded beast preparing to lunge at Arthur. He flung out a hand and sent the hound flying with a spear of golden power.

The other hound was quicker. It shoved its head against Merlin's shoulders and sent him colliding with the ground. Claws slammed into his back and ripped open shirt and flesh, burning ragged welts carving into his back. He did not feel it, too stunned to register what happened until the weight of the beast returned for another swipe. Sharp, hot pain spiked down his spine and into his toes, his hands raking across the dirt. He wailed.

Arthur was suddenly there, Excalibur raised and thrusted upward. Arthur sunk under its weight and the hound howled towards the sky. Oily liquid cascaded over Merlin's blistering back until Arthur thrust the invisible hound off his sword. Arthur fell to his knees next to Merlin, unsure of how to move him with his lesions.

"I think I killed it," Arthur said.

"You did," Merlin nodded.

The other was still alive though. It bounded towards them, its paws splashing up mud as it charged. Arthur raised his sword to attack, but Excalibur suddenly flew from his grip, soaring to the tree line.

"I don't think so," the demoness called, weapon in hand. Gray smoke spiraled from her palm, as if the hilt were fresh from the fire, and she tossed it into the brush with a hiss.

Arthur roared and flung himself in front of Merlin who was attempting to crawl away. It was pointless. Every twitch made him scream. Scorching hound blood gushed across his back and into his body, mixing with every fresh pump of blood escaping his exposed sinew. His muscles were surrendering, but he clawed at the ground, using feeble ropes of grass to pull inches towards futile escape.

Magic did its best to aid him, spiralling around his wounds and creating a shield for Arthur to hide behind. The beast scratched against the barrier, each slash weakening the defense. Merlin looked back to see the demon working her own dark magic, helping her mutt. Black smoke suffocated his golden beams and cut the link to the protection for his knight.

Suddenly, Arthur was thrown on top of him, the weight of the second hound pressing them down into the mud. Merlin bawled as his wounds were torn open anew, the cold metal of Arthur's armor scraping against his flesh. The screeching of nails against metal could only just be heard of the demon's sultry laugh.

Arthur grunted, pushing and punching, trying to keep them from losing the ability to breathe. Merlin fought to get his magic back under his own control and pushed all his energy into Arthur's effort. After one successfully hard blow, the beast pulled its arm away, just to smack it across Arthur's side and send him tumbling.

Arthur's hands reached, trying to grab Merlin, but that was hard to do. They had only just locked fingertips and it was pure magic that pushed their palms together. Arthur pulled but Merlin's grasp faltered when a piercing, sharp pain ran up his leg.

The beast had Merlin clamped between its teeth by his ankle. It dragged him away from Arthur's weak grip and tossed him onto his split open back. Merlin tried to push the hound away but without sight and with clouded magic, it was too difficult.

Merlin watched in terror, unable to move. Clothes and skin tore layer by layer until there was nothing but a mauled mess of meat. He could feel his heart pounding and see how those pumps only pushed more blood out between his ribs.

Only when the hound howled and ran off into the night could Merlin hear himself screaming.

It was over. There was nothing left of his chest.

Arthur, wounded by the way he held his arm as he crawled, pulled himself close and pulled Merlin's head up into his lap. "Merlin-" he gasped.

"It's okay." Merlin coughed, blood catching in his throat and bubbling from his mouth. His fingers fumbled terribly at the edge of his pocket as he pulled out the small glowing vile. He tried to reach up to put a hand on Arthur but it was too hard. Torn muscles tried to do his bidding but it wasn't working. Arthur had to help him put his hand on his shoulder. From there Merlin put his hand against Arthur's face, his fading magic doing most of the heavy lifting. "This is what I wanted. You need to live, Arthur. You need to- to-"

Tears welled in Arthur's eyes. "What do you need, Merlin?"

"Stay." Merlin closed his eyes and pushed wisps of magic forward, gliding the threads into Arthur's cheek. "Stay with me. Please."

"Merlin-"

"Shut up. Nothing you say- nothing Arthur-" He gasped on another breath and some core part of him knew it would be his final. "You need to know. No matter what. You were absolutely worth it."

The black spotting at the corners of his eyes overwhelmed him. Before he was swallowed up in the dark he clung to the last fragments of light he could see -the glistening of golden hair and the blue glow absorbed by Arthur's skin.

~o~0~o~

It was an arrow in the back.

Arthur felt horrible pain as it pierced him from behind.

A magician honoring Camelot's colors took the assassin out and was the first to land at Arthur's side. The knights helped carry him to Gaius who pulled the arrow out and ran his hand over the marred flesh.

"Gaius?"

Gaius was staring, gobsmacked. It took him more than one try to speak. "You- you're not bleeding, Your Majesty."

Arthur tried to turn and see. "What?"

"Your wound….it's healing."

"H-how-"

"I do not know. You should be dead. Did anyone with magic heal you?"

Arthur shook his head.

"Perhaps we should ask the Court Sorceress," Gaius suggested.

After questioning Morgana and the sorcerer who protected him -Mordred- they still had no answer. Mordred had not healed Arthur in any way. He was no good at healing spells. He was just a shocked as they were.

Arthur looked out across the battlefield where they were protecting their land from the last of the Saxons and said quietly to Gaius, "I should be dead." His cheek started to itch and he rested his fingertips over the flesh -oddly warm in the cool fall air. "Do you think…"

Gaius looked over, saw the spot where Arthur's fingers rested and shook his head. "He's been dead for years, Sire."

"Then how…."

~o~0~o~

Merlin's eyes flashed in time with the crack of the bowstring.

The arrow went soaring into the air and directly back into the man who did not deserve a name.

Merlin ran as fast as he could, panting and practically sobbing with relief when he saw Arthur standing over the assassin's body.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Merlin." Arthur scratched his head and searched the trees for whoever stopped the archer. "Come on, let's get back and tell the others."

~o~0~o~

Hell is nothing without a little pleasure. To make the pain feel spectacularly awful, one has to feel the good.

As a demon, Shedim was well acquainted with both hell and pleasure.

She left Emrys to live an imaginary life where he saved Arthur from that one unruly arrow and never travelled the path that led to him losing his biggest secret and his soul. Part of it was his insanity, part of it her design. She stepped in a few times, making sure the years he thought he saw were not all pleasure, that there was an extra amount of pain as well. For that, she played many roles in the fantasy. She was the man who killed his father and the one that killed his friend Will. She was even Gaius a time or two, warning Merlin not to tell Morgana of her magic so she would be sent on a path of great evil for herself.

It was all very charming to watch Merlin struggle with his believed destiny, but that was not nearly the best part.

Just when she could feel the moment was right and Emrys' magic was pulsing, she entered his psyche. There, she killed off his precious prince turned king, just at the most delicious of moments, so close to being able to save him. All because of a sword dipped in poison wielded by the young boy Merlin had saved.

It was delicious to watch the ironic agony.

Then, there, at the worst moment in his life, in the form of the Great Dragon she told him his story would not yet end. "Take heart, for when Albion's need is greatest, Arthur will rise again."

Emrys accepted this with tears in his eyes, holding the body of his dearly departed.

Idiot.

Every few centuries -time always ticked faster in Hell- she would ask him if he wanted to make the endless waiting stop, if he wanted to join her. The two of them could be very powerful together, maybe rule the underworld or even the land of the living. He would make an awesome, mighty monster. The nightmare parents warned their unruly children about. The devil pastors preached about. But there was a part of him she just could not break.

He always said no, believing his illusory Arthur would actually return.

When she grew sick of this answer, she would do the worst possible thing. She made him remember the truth. Arthur was not coming back. Arthur was not coming for him. Arthur was not dead. When Arthur did die, he was going to a better place, not where Emrys resided.

"No. For Arthur. No. Never."

When he inevitably rejected, she would send him through the cycle again from the beginning. Emrys would save the Pendragon's life, no deal would be made, and they would live happily never after until she decided to kill the Pendragon off again and make the same promise of 'The Once and Future King'.

Emrys would feel his pleasure, bond stronger with the Pendragon every cycle, and then his soul would shatter and cling to a broken promise that she would eventually smash.

The next round she thought about making them meet as toddlers, growing up together before their inevitable tragic ending.

The most recent cycle of fantasy, Emrys had lasted over 1,000 years. It was impressive but it did not make any sense. Power corrupts all in due time. Emrys' power and her torture should have made his soul easy for the taking. With every inch of his soul splayed out across her table, there was still one silver she could not touch.

No matter.

While she sucked at his never-ending supply of magic and continued to climb the chain of command, closer and closer to a royal status, Emrys would forever be waiting for a prophecy that would never come true.

It was what he asked for, after all.

I think I'd rather be immortal than dead.

Emrys would never die and never live. Over and over again the centuries would pass by and he would be alone. Arthur would not return. Emrys would be waiting for nothing.

It was the perfect hell.

~o~0~o~

THE END

~o~0~o~

A/N: The spell in italics roughly translates to: From within I take a part of me, my soul breaks free. A piece to bond to earth. I cut myself open. Live forever disconnected. Until the return, live forever. Protect, my soul, love and live forever. I command it. Live forever. This piece shall protect and live forever.

Why is this important? Well you can make your own interpretations if you like, especially since there is no punctuation above, but….

Note that 'live forever' (æfre) is used multiple times. Other words used include 'bond', 'protect', and 'love'. According to the spell, Merlin meant to put a piece of his soul into the earth (he was born from magic itself and magic does reside in the earth, makes sense) but what actually happened? He put that soul piece in Arthur. Kinda changes the meanings of the words, doesn't it? (Ah magic, so tricky and picky.)

So yes, exactly what you're thinking. Arthur now has a piece of Merlin and his magic living inside him… forever. And if we recall, Merlin did the soul-ripping magic while he still had that immortal/can't hurt me magic spell to protect him from being ripped up by the dogs.

Live forever? Protected? Bonded? With feelings of love infused (platonic or otherwise)? Sound familiar?!

Which kinda makes you think. 'Until the return'…. Hmmmmm.

AKA: Where I flip the entire season finale around. Where Merlin is dead (sadly) and Arthur is the immortal one topside. Now we just wait for Arthur to grip Merlin tight and raise him from perdition :D

(I will not be writing a sequel. You have my full permission to do so.)

And what if Merlin did say yes to the demon and became evil? Would that mean that sliver inside Arthur would shift? Would Arthur turn bad too? Or just a part of him that he would need to constantly, internally fight against? Could he extract that soul piece and put it in something else and have Merlin back again? Does Arthur have magic now?!

This was only one of many alternative endings.