A/N: Just how I think Callie's adoption should've gone.

CALLIE

Callie's heart was beating so loud she was sure it could be heard across the entirety of San Diego, or at the very least by everyone in the courtroom. Which, mind you, included a lot more people than Callie had ever expected to be at her adoption. She'd always imagined it, and yes she had imagined it, as being a more intimate event. She'd pictured a smaller courtroom, with only those necessary for the adoption to be finalized present. Judge Jeffrey Ringer, Stef and Lena, her social worker, and the rest of the Adams-Fosters. In some scenarios she'd included Brandon's biological father Mike, and Brandon's foster-brother AJ, who also happened to be Callie's ex-boyfriend. If that is, she could consider someone who she had never formally dated to be an ex-boyfriend.

I consider Brandon an ex-boyfriend and one could argue we never dated... Just as quickly as the thought entered her mind, Callie pushed it away. He's going to be my brother. She reminded herself, and went back to marveling at the large crowd present for her adoption. The most surprising "guests" being: the foster kids.

Callie had never expected that people outside her friends and family would be at her adoption. Especially not anyone who used FostandFound; an app she had recently created in an attempt to help foster kids-like herself-have a place to tell their stories. Yet, there they were. At least thirty current, and former, foster kids silently supporting her from the back of the courtroom. They'd watched the video she'd posted on FostandFound the night before, but it hadn't occurred to her that they would come out in waves to actually see it happen.

Occasionally she had allowed Rita, and her other friends from Girls United to be present in her fantasy. After all they'd been at Jude's adoption the year prior, so it only made sense they would be at hers. Callie smiled at the thought of them. Of Rita, and of Daphne and Kiara and all the other girls she'd met during her stay there. She truly was thankful for getting the chance to experience life in a group home, and to meet such kind people. I wouldn't have ended up there if I hadn't ran away, and I wouldn't have run away if I hadn't kissed Brandon...there he was again. Brandon. It was almost as if any thought, any feeling, any memory, brought her back to him. She always ended up back at him.

Callie once again tried to push Brandon from her mind, and focus on her surroundings. On the courtroom. On her adoption. Her thoughts wandered back to Rita and the rest of the girls, and the brunette found herself smiling. She knew how proud of her they were. They knew, maybe more than anyone else-save for a certain greenish grey-eyed pianist she was continuously trying, without success, to push from her thoughts-the long and tumultuous journey that she had gone through in order to be standing in the courtroom that day.

To finally be adopted. To officially become a member of the Adams-Foster family.

The heartbreak.

The tears.

The anger.

The confusion.

And all the emotions in-between.

The heartbreak, was what stuck out to Callie at that moment. She could've dealt with the months of uncertainty, of finding a birth-father she'd had no idea existed, of having that birth father try and petition the court for custody, of potential emancipation...she could've dealt with all of that, if he hadn't been a contributing factor.

It was then her eyes, that had been trying so hard not to, found the object of her affection, of her guilt, and of her sadness.

Brandon freaking Foster.

Her friend, her best-friend, her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend, her foster brother, and pretty soon, if everything went according to plan, just her brother.

Callie silently corrected herself. No, Brandon wouldn't just be her brother. He'd be her friend too. Perhaps not in the same way as he was before, it would just be too painful for him-for the both of them-to interact with one another after the adoption was finalized. Of course they'd have to talk to each other, but Callie feared it would never be in quite the same way. They could pretend all they wanted, call each other "brother and sister," and play along to appease the family, to appease the law. But Callie knew that they'd never truly be able to be siblings, they'd always be something a little more.

A might've been.

A what-if?

A page in the novel that was each others lives.

No. The brunette inwardly corrected herself once again. Brandon couldn't be a single page. He'd be a chapter, perhaps even a few hundred chapters. She'd need a whole book to explain the depths of her affections for that curly haired, piano playing, kindhearted, brilliant, funny, charming...

"Shut up," She scolded herself aloud this time, quiet enough so that neither of the two women sitting beside her could hear. She could not-she should not be thinking about Brandon at a time like this. In fact, she could never think about Brandon in even a remotely romantic way after the adoption went through. She should be thinking about her family. About her moms. About how excited she was to officially be a member of the family. Really, she should be thinking about anything other than Brandon.

But shouldn't I think about him while I still can? The part of her brain that was driven by her heart inquired, and Callie found herself having to close her eyes for a few moments in an effort to bring herself back to the present. To her reality. She suddenly felt as if she might throw-up, or worse pass out completely.

That's just your nerves. The part of her brain that tried to shut her heart out assured her.

And as if to confirm her thoughts, Lena, soon to be mama, she thought with a smile, spoke up from beside her.

"Nervous?" She asked, and when Callie met the older woman's gaze she couldn't help but tear up. Lena's eyes were full of nothing but love, affection, and warmth directed towards the brunette beside her. But there was also something more, something that took Callie a few moments to decipher: a fierce desire to protect. A desire driven by what could only be a mothers love for her daughter. In that instant Callie knew that she was Lena and Stef's daughter just as much at that moment, as she would be when the papers were signed. A piece of paper wouldn't change their relationship. With or without it she was a member of the Adams-Foster family. It would; however, be a comforting feeling. To share their last name. To not have to worry about being pulled away from them when their foster license expired, or if Robert suddenly were to change his mind. A piece of paper would be nice.

"A little," Callie admitted almost shamefully. Trying her best to stay present, and not lost in thought, like she so often was. She wanted to remember every second of the process. Every detail. Every emotional. The joy, the excitement, the nerves. All of it.

But why am I nervous? She found herself asking. Because you've been so close to adoption so many times, you're afraid somethings bound to go wrong this time too. The logical side of her brain explained, and although Callie did believe this to be true, another part of her couldn't help but think; because once this happens there's not even the slightest chance that Brandon will ever be yours. Because once you're adopted there's no going back. Once you're adopted you'll have to move on, you'll both have to move on. You'll have to meet his future girlfriends, watch as he becomes closer to them and farther from you. You'll hear of studio apartments in New York, and of an elaborate proposal given in song, you'll attend a wedding and watch him make vows to someone who isn't you. You'll have to be the aunt of children you wish could be your own...

Callie's head was spinning.

Suddenly she felt sick again.

For a brief moment she considered excusing herself, for just a second, to get a drink of water. To clear her head. To push Brandon from her mind, and find the happiness that she'd felt earlier that day at the prospect of adoption. She had half turned towards the door, when she accidentally caught Brandon's gaze.

Truthfully, it wasn't much of an accident. His eyes hadn't left her since they entered the court room, and their eyes always seemed to find each other anyway, even when they didn't want them too. It was as if they were magnets, always bound to fix on each other, despite their continuous attempts to refrain from doing so. To prevent anymore feelings of longing, of guilt, and most of all of regret. Not regret for their relationship, but rather regret for not being honest about it early on. For trying to hide it. For trying to "play along." For convincing the others it was "just a kiss." For trying to believe that themselves.

Brandon offered her a smile, and although he was trying his best to exhibit nothing but happiness for her, Callie could see the pain in his eyes, no, she could feel it. She could feel that same pain in her heart, and her mind flashed back to a conversation they'd had months ago, before what was suppost to be her adoption day.

"Brandon, I want this. I want to be a part of this family more than I have ever wanted anything in my whole life. But, if there is one thing that could make me blow this all up it's knowing that I'm hurting you. So am I? Am I hurting you?" She'd so desperately hoped that he would say that 'yes she was hurting him.' She'd so desperately hoped he'd give her some reason to call the adoption off. Some reason to chose him. Because she knew, on her own, she couldn't make that choice. She couldn't put herself above the rest of the family. She couldn't hurt them, not after everything they'd done for her. She couldn't hurt them, but she couldn't hurt Brandon either. She had to make sure she wasn't hurting Brandon.

"No." She'd expected him to say no. Before she'd even arrived at his door, she'd already known the direction the conversation would go. All Brandon ever wanted was for her to be happy, and she'd just flat out said that being adopted was everything she'd ever wanted. He would've never put his feelings in front of her own. He'd do whatever he could to make her happy, even if it meant destroying himself.

And she loved him,

and hated him for that.

"Are you sure?" She tried again. Almost pleading for him to admit the truth, but also inwardly knowing that he wouldn't. That she could risk asking him this, and still be adopted. Still make sure no one else in the family would be hurt-save for Brandon and herself that is. But they would move on. Wouldn't they? They'd have to move on.

"Yeah." He began nodding, and Callie pulled him into a hug. A hug that she wished could last a lifetime, but she knew could only last seconds. She let it linger though, more so than it probably should. Because it was more than just a hug. At that moment, for all they knew, it was a goodbye. An end to the fleeting, yet passionate, adventure that was their relationship.

The same pain she'd seen in his eyes that day, was staring back at her at that moment. Except it was worse now. On that day outside his dad's apartment, she was sure she could never hurt him more. She'd silently vowed that she would never hurt him again. She could add that to her list of broken promises. She'd hurt him more. Confused him more. Got his hopes up and crushed his dreams, not his dream of piano, but his dream of her. They'd gone through even more heartbreak, even more tears, even more love since the first attempt at adoption all those months ago.

Callie watched as Brandon's brow furrowed in confusion, and with a slight blush she realized she'd been staring. For how long, she couldn't be sure. Luckily, no one besides Brandon had seemed to notice their silent interaction. That came as no surprise to Callie, considering no one ever seemed to notice their stares, their accidental brushes of the hands, and if anyone did, they always pretended they hadn't.

Brandon didn't seem to mind that he had caught her staring. The realization just seemed to make him sadder. As if these final silent unnoticed glances were what that hug had been all those months ago.

A goodbye.

You okay? Brandon seemed to ask silently, his head tipping to one side in that all-knowing, understanding way it often did.

The question almost made Callie laugh. Just the idea that Brandon was asking if she was okay, when really he should've been asking himself. He should've been taking care of himself, of his own heartbreak, not checking to make sure she was okay. But, like always, he put her first. Even though she'd told him again and again not too. He'd always put her first. He would always put her first. But would she put him first? The sudden question upset Callie, and before she could come up with an answer, Judge Jeffrey Ringer had entered the courtroom and was beginning to speak. Callie had forgotten to get fresh air, she'd forgotten to get that glass of water.

No fresh air.

No water.

No Brandon.

Well there's no going back now. She thought with a humorless chuckle. She drew her eyes away from Brandon, and towards the judge. Briefly recalling the fact that she still had to say some kind of apology, or at least explain her actions, to Judge Jeffrey Ringer, regarding the video she'd posted on FostandFound in which she'd called him out by name.

She felt Stef squeeze her hand, and she looked down at the other woman whom she loved so very, very much, at her other mom. Stef, unlike Lena did not have tears in her eyes, but rather a look of determination. Her gaze seemed to say: This is it. We won't take no for an answer. You're coming home as our daughter today, no matter what.

Callie gave her a shaky smile.

Why aren't I happy? Why don't I want this? Her mind was racing, questions were multiplying, her heart was beating again. This time she was sure all of San Diego could hear it. She felt overwhelmed, confused, broken. She could hardly even focus on what the judge was saying. Something about the video she'd posted last night, about her offending him...

"...I didn't mean to offend you, sir." She found herself saying. She was surprised at how confident her voice sounded, surprised by how it echoed throughout the courtroom. She'd expected her voice to be small, to convey all her worries and fears. Not to sound so calm, so collected. So normal.

"Really? You, uh, called me out by name. You said I was making these decisions about your life without any consideration of what you wanted." Judge Jeffrey Ringer continued.

"Because that's how it felt." Callie paused a moment, before she continued. "The system is broken, sir. Badly. And the only people who really understand just how bad are the ones without any say, without any voice. Somebody's got to speak up." Now all she felt was passion; passion for standing up for the foster-kids behind her, for the foster-kids across the country. Around the world. She wasn't getting adopted that day solely for herself, but for all the kids who hadn't found "forever families." For all the kids who weren't as lucky as she was.

Lucky.

It was a funny word.

"And that somebody's going to be you, is it?" Judge Jeffrey Ringer questioned, his tone almost that of a threat.

"Yes," Callie paused once again. "I'm one of the lucky ones, you know, I found an amazing family and I'm, I'm finally safe. And loved, like really, truly loved. And one of the things that I've learned from my moms, from watching the way that they live their lives, is that when you're lucky, it is your job to give something back, and when you see something wrong to stand up and to say so. So I'm really sorry if I offended you, it was not my intention. I'm not going to apologize for standing up, somebody has to."

Silence.

Silence for what felt like hours.

Silence for what felt like only seconds.

"Well I wish it weren't the case-"

It's not gonna happen. A mixture of dread and relief filled Callie. Maybe the video would cause her adoption to be halted once again. Maybe she wouldn't have to make a choice, to chose Brandon or official documentation. Maybe she wouldn't have to break anyone's hearts. Maybe everything would be chosen for her.

Maybe not.

"...but there's a lot of truth in what you're saying."

Callie looked up. All dread and relief left her. Leaving behind only confusion. Is he letting it go through? Her heartbeat quickened out of excitement? Nervousness? Guilt? Perhaps all three.

"It's no secret the system is failing a lot of kids, and that someone needs to do something about it. I'm proud of you, for being that person." Judge Jeffrey Ringer smiled at her. He actually smiled at her. Callie's mind raced.

She was already close to tears, and when the clapping began-it was quickly silenced-she felt as though she might not be able to hold it all in. There was so many people gathered in that courtroom, so many people wanting her to be adopted. But did she want it herself? A part of her did. A part of her wanted to be a part of the family more she had ever wanted anything in her whole life. But another part of her, perhaps a larger part of her, knew that a piece paper wouldn't change anything. That she was just as much a part of the family then as she ever would be. She didn't need a paper. Frankly, deep down she didn't want a paper, if it meant giving up the boy with the green, grey-eyes. But she'd have to give him up. She couldn't stop the adoption. Not now. It was too late. She couldn't hurt her family. She couldn't hurt Stef and Lena. She couldn't hurt Jude. They'd be so angry with her. So confused. Sodisappointed. And after everything she'd done, how hard she'd fought for that moment. How hard she'd fought for them, for Jude. She couldn't hurt them like that. It wasn't just. It wasn't right.

But she could hurt Brandon? Was it right to ask Brandon to forget their relationship? To play the role of her brother? Was it right to allow herself to be adopted after they'd been so intimate? Maybe it wouldn't have been as bad before Idyllwild? But now? If Judge Jeffrey Ringer knew, if her social worker knew, of the intensity of Brandon and hers' relationship, would they allow the adoption to go through? Surely not. So then why should she?

Because you love Stef and Lena, and Mariana, and Jesus, and Jude, and you love Brandon-not as you should, but you love him nonetheless. You want to be a part of this family. You want to be adopted. You don't want to hurt anyone else. You've worked so hard for this.

Callie's head was spinning, she could just make out Judge Jeffrey Ringer's voice talking about her social worker, talking about a restraining order.

Talking about Brandon.

"...against Brandon Foster and tells me that there is no reason to believe that there is anything here to prevent your adoption. Is that correct?"

Callie's mind went to stolen kisses, to secret glances, to hugs that were most definitely to long to be 'friendly', to jealous arguments about boyfriends and girlfriends, to elaborate piano compositions, to sleepless nights, to so many memories, and most heavy in her heart: to Idyllwild. To what had transpired in the cabin only a few nights prior.

"There's nothing romantic going on with you and Brandon any longer." It was almost a statement, more than it was a question. Almost as if the judge wasn't giving Callie a chance to rebut it. As if he didn't expect Callie to rebut it. After all, who would? When they all knew just how hard she had fought to be standing their in that courtroom. To be so close to adoption.

At that moment Callie could feel everyone's eyes on her. Stef's, Lena's, Mariana's, Jesus's, Brandon's, Jude's, Rita's, Daphne's, the foster-kids who had taken time out of their day to support her. But it was Brandon's she felt the most. She didn't even have to be looking at him to know that he was staring at her, willing her to say that 'no nothing was going on', he wouldn't even think twice of hoping she'd say yes. He'd want her to say no because that's what she'd told him she wanted. He'd put her first. He'd always put her first.

A thought crept into Callie's mind.

A thought that she had been trying to suppress.

A thought that she equated with selfishness.

Maybe, maybe just this once she should put Brandon first...

...no maybe, maybe just this once she should put herself first.

It was at that moment she knew what she wanted.

That however messed up, however wrong, however much pain it would cause the others, however crazy and insane and self-sabotaging it seemed.

Callie Jacobs knew that what she wanted, more than anything, was Brandon Foster.

Callie Jacobs knew that she already had a family, that they'd told her again and again that a piece of paper wasn't necessary. That a piece of paper didn't determine the connection that they shared, the strength of their bond. The fact that they were, and would continue to be, a family. After all, it hadn't mattered for all these months. Why should it matter now?

Callie Jacobs knew that she was about to cause a whole lot of confusion, a whole lot of pain, and a whole lot of anger.

But there was a boy. One boy. One caring, kind, gentle, boy. Who had always put her and everyone else above himself. A boy who deserved some happiness.

A boy who deserved to be happy.

And a girl who deserved to be happy too.

"Your honor," Callie shut her eyes tightly. "Stef and Lena are my moms." She looked down at the two women beside her, they smiled up at her lovingly, tears brimming in their eyes. Excitement at the prospect of being able to officially call her their own. Oblivion. "Mariana is my sister." She could practically feel Mariana's smile, it seemed to fill the entire courtroom. "Jesus and Jude, they're my brothers." Out of the corner of her eye, Callie caught Stef and Lena exchanging a brief glance as they registered that Brandon had not been included in Callie's comment.

Stef's mouth opened in slight realization, Lena looked as though she was trying to make sense of Callie's words.

"I love this family more than anything. Words cannot express how lucky I feel to have found them." Callie continued, her voice had died down to that of a whisper, and it cracked as she spoke the next few words. "But I cannot be adopted." The tears threatened to spill.

"Callie-" She heard Stef's warning, and watched Lena's arm reaching to stop her wife from interrupting. It felt as if the two women were hundreds of miles away. As if Callie couldn't reach them. Couldn't really hear or see them. Just blurred, muffled versions of them, that were disconnected from herself. She hated that feeling.

"Because Brandon..." Callie's eyes rose to meet Judge Jeffrey Ringer's, and she spoke the next line without any hesitation.

Without any shame.

With pure, perfect, confidence.

"Is not my brother."

She finished, and waited for the chaos to ensue.