Alrighty then…
Disclaimer: I will say all of these things once and only once. I do not own anything associated with J.K.'s Harry Potter Universe. I am glad she lets us use it for our own amusement. I do not get money from any of this. Any other likenesses or anything like that is not owned by me either. Anything I bring in I don't own.
This is going to be rated "M" due to language and violence. And just in case I screw something up, my butt is covered.
If y'all see similarities between mine and someone else's story, I do like to pull some stuff from others, and will try to credit them whenever I can. Or remember to.
This is my first fanfiction, so hate it, or love it, I don't care. I'm just doing this because why not. I've read so many different fanfics it's not really funny. I figured I'd give it a try.
Plot: Harry wakes up from being shoved through the veil back before his first year. Alrighty then… let's play.. Over powered Harry. Snarky Harry.
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"Harry James Potter, you have been sentenced to death by the veil for leading a vigilante organization and murder of many prominent members of our society. You also plead guilty to the attempted murder of our Lord and Savior, Lord Voldemort. What say you?" The executioner said.
"Fuck off you piece of Cornish Pixie shit. Your going to die alone and I'll wait for you in Hell." Shouted Harry.
The burly executioner smirked. "Then by the laws set by our Lord, you will die." He shoved Harry into the Veil of Death and went on his merry way.
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BOOM!
"Where is the cannon?" Dudley Dursley asked dumbly.
BOOM!
Harry just looks around stupidly. 'The bloody fuck is going on?' as Dudley scrambles off of the couch and as far away from the door as fast as his fat ass could move. Vernon and Petunia rush in while Vernon carries a rifle.
BOOM! CRUNCH!
The door breaks down and a familiar giant form is outlined by a flash of lightning. Harry gapes in shock. 'How the fuck did this happen?' Harry thought.
The massive figure Harry now recognizes as Hagrid, puts an umbrella back in his jacket.
"Sorry 'bout that" Hagrid says as he puts the door back in its frame and completely ignoring the fat oaf holding a long metal tube.
As he turns around Vernon says " I demand you leave at once, you are breaking and entering!" Hagrid just rolls his eyes and storms to him. " Dry up Dursley you great prune" he says as he grabs the end of the rifle, somehow bends the barrel up to the ceiling with only one hand, and blinks right before the gun magically goes off and blows a hole in the ceiling. Harry casually wondered where the hell Vernon got a gun, knowing that they were pretty hard to get and was basically illegal for anyone to have without a permit which he knew Vernon didn't have. Hagrid walks towards Dudley and said "Boy, I haven't seen him since he was a baby, Harry, but you're a bit more far along than I would have expected. Particularly since you were in the middle" as he pats his belly.
"I'm- I'm not Harry" Stutters Dudley. Harry comes out of his shock and shouts "what the fuck?" Hagrid gives him a disappointed stare. "I take it your Harry then?" Harry takes one last look around and sees a book and promptly grabbed it and slammed his forehead into it knocking himself out.
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A/n: I hope Y'all are at least somewhat interested in this. I plan on Harry having fun during this. It'll hopefully be a humor filled story. We will see. I also really need a Beta to review my work. I think I'm ok when it comes to the English language, but regardless of growing up with it, I'm terrible with it. So until I find someone, all of the mistakes are mine.