A/N: Thank you so much to the amazing siophiefandom, who did the betareading - and persuaded me that this story was worth posting.
Kidding Around Toy Store, Manhattan, New York City.
The tall, gorgeous raven-haired woman was standing in the middle of the store, seemingly oblivious to the bustling, noisy crowd all around her. It was mid-December in New York City, and, of course, everyone was in full Christmas shopping mode.
There was a time when Emily Fields used to like Christmas - in fact, she actually used to love that time of year. For years, Emily had been the perfect Christmas girl, decorating the family house with her parents, looking for the perfect gifts for her friends, listening to non-stop Christmas carols all month long.
She even had a special outfit for the occasion, though she hadn't worn it since her father's death, so many years ago. Emily's "This Girl loves Christmas" t-shirt was long forgotten in one of the many storage boxes that cluttered the garage of a small house in Allentown, Pennsylvania . A house Emily used to share with her ex, Alison, and their twin girls, but a place where she didn't belong anymore.
Emily now lived in Manhattan, with her long-time friends, Hanna and Caleb Rivers, and their four-year-old son, Tyler. It was a temporary arrangement; Emily had no intention of settling in such a big city for good.
Still, it felt comforting, after all she had been through with Alison over the past few years, to live in a friendly, caring environment.
The Riverses had done everything in their power to make Emily feel at home. A fresh start was all that Emily needed at that point- though, of course, she was missing her kids like crazy. Lily and Grace were the reason she was standing there, in the middle of a crowded toy store, desperately seeking the perfect toys, the gifts that would tell her now six-year-old girls that she missed them; that she still loved them.
Of course, Emily was conscious of the fact that even the most fabulous of gifts couldn't replace a parent's presence. Leaving the twins behind her had been beyond heartbreaking. But Alison had left her no choice. When a relationship is toxic, it's toxic. Even small kids can see that, as Hanna had pointed out in her unmistakable straight-to-the-point style (but to her credit, not until a few weeks after she had picked up a very sad and tearful Emily at Grand Central Station).
Emily took one more look at the Christmas list her kids had sent her by text -through Alison, of course, who had notified her ex of the presents she had already picked up. The problem was that Lily and Grace's remaining choices were already sold out, for the most part. Or terribly expensive. Or, totally out of the question - like the big, spectacular Doll House.
There was no way Emily was going to offer that kind of toy to her girls, considering what had happened to her and her friends in a certain adult-size doll house.
How could Alison not have thought about that?...Or maybe she had, Emily realized with sadness.
The twenty-nine-year-old woman was staring blankly at a pile of Little Friends dolls when she heard someone behind her say her name. Emily's heart skipped a beat. She would've recognized this soft, husky voice anywhere.
Paige. Except that couldn't be...
Emily turned around quickly, and blinked twice. She wasn't dreaming. There she was: a slightly older than she remembered but still equally beautiful Paige; her Paige.
The auburn woman had a child in her arms, a little boy around three or four years old, Emily surmised. His tiny arms were wrapped around Paige's neck, and he had the most adorable elf hat on his head - something that immediately reminded Emily the past Christmases - When I used to celebrate it.
"Emily," Paige said, "I thought it was you, but I couldn't believe my eyes. It's... it's so good to see you!"
"Yeah," Emily croaked, "it's... great to see you too, Paige, and..."
Her eyes were now on the cute little boy, who was staring at her with interest as well.
"Oh, yes, sorry. This little elf is my son Finn. Finn, this is Emily," Paige said.
Finn. Her son. Paige's got a son, and I didn't even know that.
The little brown-haired boy sneaked a glance at the woman in front of them, shot her a quick grin, and then shyly buried his head in the crook of his mother's neck.
"Emily is... an old friend," Paige explained in her low, soft voice, her eyes not leaving Emily's.
Old friends, Emily thought with a twinge of sadness. Is that all we are now?...
Paige cleared her throat and asked, as casually as she could muster: "so, I guess you're Christmas shopping for your kids? Is... is Alison here too?"
Emily lowered her eyes and shook her head. "No, she isn't," she whispered. "And neither are the girls."
"Oh, okay," Paige said, sensing that she had hit on a sensitive topic. Still, she couldn't help being worried for Emily, even after all the years.
The raven-haired girl was still gorgeous, but she looked... off. And so sad. Paige had seen that look in Emily's eyes before - after Maya's death, after Wayne Fields' death. Paige swallowed a lump in her throat at the thought. No, it can't be...
"They're... they're all okay, right? Ali and your kids?" Paige asked with concern in her voice.
"Yes. Yes, they are. They live in the Philly area," Emily muttered.
Paige frowned. They?...
"What about you?" she asked.
"I live in New York. For now," Emily said. She raised her eyes, meeting Paige's concerned brown orbs, and smiled sadly. "It's a long story. And not a very original one, I'm afraid. Ali and I, we just... drifted apart, I guess."
Paige bit her bottom lip and nodded sympathetically.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Emily. I had no idea that you and Alison weren't... together anymore. But... you still keep in touch with her, right? At least for your kids?"
Emily sighed. "Yeah, well..." she said in a low voice, looking down. "Alison and I only talk through our lawyers now, so... it's complicated. And I don't see Lily and Grace as much as I would like to."
"Oh," Paige said, taken aback. "I'm so sorry, Emily."
The black-haired girl let out a bitter laugh. "Don't be. It's just..." she didn't finish her sentence, and Paige knew better than to dwell on it. At least not right then.
"Listen Em," she said, the old nickname coming out of her mouth effortlessly, "Do you have a minute? Do you want to, um, have coffee with me and Finn?"
"But I don't drink coffee, Mommy," the little boy chimed in, earning a chuckle from both women.
"Right," Paige approved in a half-laughing, half-serious tone. "Hot chocolate for you, then, buddy", she said, brushing their noses together. Emily's heart melted at the sight - and broke a little at the same time.
Paige was staring expectantly at Emily, who seemed to ponder her answer, but eventually nodded her approval. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend time with Paige and her son - quite the opposite; she wanted it a little too much. And that feeling scared her. Emily didn't want to get her hopes up. Hope breads eternal misery...
At the coffee stand, it was Paige's turn to hesitate, because she couldn't decide between the Pumpkin Spice Latte and the Gingerbread Mocha.
"Both sound great," she explained to Emily, a frown of deep concentration on her face, much to Emily's amusement. "It's a tricky choice, really."
"You used to be more decisive, McCullers," the raven-haired girl observed. "And it's just coffee, after all."
"No, it's not," Paige protested. "We're speaking about hype-worthy seasonal drinks here, Fields. And to think you used to be a barista..." she added with a small grin. "Not to mention, a real Christmas addict."
Emily looked down. "Well," she said slowly, "that was a long time ago. Things... have changed." Understatement of the century, she thought, reflecting at how her Christmas heart had slowly hardened.
Paige stared at Emily, taking in the tiredness and the sadness in her voice. And in her eyes, as well. Where has your light gone, Emily?...
"...Okay," she said after a brief silence. "You know what? I'm gonna order both drinks. That way we can share and compare, okay?"
Emily shrugged, before nodding and uttering a small "yes."
Emily was looking at a sleepy Finn, safely cuddled in Paige's arms, his tiny arms gripped around a stuffed zebra he had found in the store and persuaded his mother to buy.
"He's got your nose. And your eyes," Emily noted. Indeed, little Finn looked like a mini-Paige, except for his hair, which was slightly darker and a bit curly.
Paige smiled proudly. "Yes. He's gorgeous, and we really do look alike... Wait, that's not really modest of me, is it?"
Emily couldn't help but giggle. "Probably not. But, yeah, he's a real cutie." Like his mom...
The raven-haired woman cleared her throat and asked the question that had been lingering on her mind since she had first set eyes on Paige and her little boy.
"So, I guess Finn has got... another parent? Is she... are you married, Paige?" Emily asked. Despite her efforts to sound casual, her voice was trembling slightly.
Paige dipped her head and sighed. "Yes. No. I mean...not anymore. I was. Married. With Meghann, Finn's other mom. We... we just divorced. Last June."
She briefly closed her eyes and brushed a kiss on the top of Finn's head, who didn't open his eyes but smiled in his half-sleep.
"Oh," Emily said. "I'm sorry, Paige." She didn't know what else to say at that point.
Paige shrugged and shot Emily a weak smile. "That's life, I guess. It was great, really great, for a long while, and then... it wasn't anymore. Anyway, Meghann and I are still on good terms. We have shared-parenting. We both live and work in West Brooklyn, which is very convenient. It's not easy everyday, but we're... adjusting, I guess. And Finn... he's amazing, really."
"I'm sure he is," Emily said in a soft voice. "He's your son, after all."
Later that day - Hanna's appartment
"Oooh, that's perfect!" Hanna exclaimed in a high-pitched voice.
Emily cringed. "Hanna, I just told you that Paige went through a divorce, with a kid involved no less, and you're saying it's perfect?"
"Yes, it is. Not the divorce thing, of course," Hanna corrected quickly when she saw Emily's glare. "But, you know, um, the being single again thing?... Wait, Paige is still available, right?"
Emily shook her head in disbelief. "Hanna..." she said in a warning tone.
"What?"
"Don't even go there."
"But Emily..."
"Just don't," Emily said harshly. "We're not in high school anymore, okay? Or even in college. We're grown-ups now, and this is not a Christmas tale of some kind."
"Still, Em... think about it, what are the odds..."
"Hanna! What did I just say?"
Hanna rolled her eyes in a overly dramatic way. "Okay, Fields, as you wish," she muttered. But the blonde woman had -of course- an idea in mind.
Paige opened the big, peach pink envelope with glitter on it and stared at the invitation card in disbelief. Apparently, Hanna Marin-Rivers, whom she hadn't seen or even heard about for years, had invited her to her "pre-Christmas party" the next Friday, in Manhattan - and on the Upper East Side, Paige noted. Impressive!
Hanna had added a small note to the formal invitation, to let Paige know that Finn was invited, of course, and that EMILY (Hanna wrote the name in capital letters, with a heart on the top of the I - Paige couldn't help but huff in disbelief at the sight) was going to attend the party, too.
Paige sighed, shook her head and put Hanna's invitation aside. Her heart was clearly telling her to answer yes - but her head was arguing otherwise. Well, I'd rather sleep on it for now.
Two days before the party, on a crisp but beautiful New York evening, Paige's cell phone rang. It was an unknown number, but instead of letting the call go to voicemail as she usually did when she didn't know the caller, Paige answered right away. She had a sense of foreboding that it could be important.
"Hello?" she said in a rather cautious voice.
"Hello, Paige! It's so great to hear you!" a perky voice said.
"Um... okay, but... who is this?"
"Paige! It's me, Hanna. Hanna Marin. Well, Hanna Marin-Rivers, actually. But let's skip the formalities!"
"Oh, hi, Hanna," Paige replied with a light chuckle. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I'm doing great. Except for one thing. I'm still waiting for your RSVP, Paige. So, did you get my invitation, or not?"
Well, Paige thought, Hanna hasn't changed. Straight to the point.
"Oh... yes, Hanna, I got it. I know I haven't responded yet, and I'm sorry for that, but you know, I've been caught up in my job, so..." the auburn woman stammered.
It was a lame excuse, and Paige knew that Hanna wasn't fooled.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm overloaded with work too. So, are you coming over?" the blonde woman insisted.
"Hanna, I... I don't know. You know, I ... I was wondering..."
"Oh, Is it about the dress code? Don't worry about that, Paige. You know, casual chic will do fine."
"Um, no, it's not about that at all, Hanna. You see, um... it's very nice of you to invite me to your party, but I'm not sure I can make it," Paige began in a cautious voice.
"Why?" Hanna cut her off. "Do you have other plans that evening?"
"No, but..."
"And you're be in New York that weekend, right?"
"Yes, but Hanna..."
"Listen Paige," Hanna persisted, softening her tone somewhat, "if you could be there, you would really be doing me a favor. You know, my son Tyler will be the only kid at the party, unless you bring Finn with you. He's four, right?"
"Three and a half, actually," Paige replied, a fond smile on her face.
"Perfect! Tyler just turned four last month. I'm sure they'll get along very well," Hanna said in an excited voice. "So, you're coming? Please, Paige!"
"...Okay," Paige said after a bit. "We... we'll be there. Finn and I."
"Fantastic! I can't wait to meet him, and to catch up with you, of course!"
"I... I can't, either," Paige stammered, cursing herself internally for not being able to say no to Emily's friend. Or to an evening around Emily Fields.
She was about to say good bye and hang up when Hanna concluded, "Oh, and Paige, just in case you're wondering: Emily doesn't know you're coming yet, but don't worry, I'm sure she'll be beyond delighted!"
Two days later - Hanna's party
A nervous Paige was standing at the Riverses' front door, gathering up all her courage.
Why, after all these years, am I still so nervous at the prospect of seeing Emily Fields?... Come on, McCullers. You're an adult now.
"Mommy?" Finn was tugging on her hand, and Paige looked down to smile at her son. Taking a deep breath, she eventually rang the bell which, much to Finn's delight, played a catchy Christmas tune.
The door opened, revealing a beaming Hanna Marin-Rivers, who exclaimed: "Paige! You made it! And who is this gentleman you brought with you... my, my, it has to be Finn! No, it can't be... I thought he was a little boy!"
The child giggled, immediately struck by Hanna's goofy words and her cheerful voice -not to mention, her big, baby blue eyes and her shiny, golden hair. Hanna was radiant, wearing a white, sleeveless sequined dress with a pearl necklace, and even a tiara.
"Are you a fairy?" Finn asked in a voice full of hope. "You're so pretty!"
Hanna's smile widened, and she winked at Paige. "I see that the McCullers charm runs in the family!" she teased, earning an embarrassed smile from the auburn woman.
Hanna knelt before the little boy and whispered in his ear: "you're a real cutie too, Finn. Do you like miniature racing cars? My son Tyler's got a big track in his room. Do you want to see it?"
"Yes!" Finn yelled excitedly. "Mommy, can I go?"
Paige nodded, somewhat dumbstruck but also happy to see her usually shy son already so comfortable with Hanna.
"Perfect!" Hanna exclaimed, getting up and reaching for Finn's hand. "Let's go then! Paige, come on in, give me your coat, and make yourself at home. You can put this in the kitchen," she said, referring to the bottle of wine Paige was carrying. "This way. Emily's already in there. And, nice dress, by the way," she added with a wink.
"...Oh, okay, thank you Hanna," Paige stammered. After considerable hesitation, she had eventually chosen to wear a navy blue cocktail dress with lace on top.
Paige cleared her throat and made her way to the kitchen, which was located across the large hallway in the foyer. She could hear some faint music and muffled voices coming from another part of the apartment, the living room, she assumed. How big exactly is this place?...
The kitchen itself was large enough to accommodate a dozen guests. And it contained all the latest and fanciest appliances. As well as a caterer and a few waiters who were all very busy organizing a large amount of food and drink trays.
But, of course, Paige had eyes for only one person, the dark-haired woman who was glancing at her from a corner of the room. As always, Emily was beautiful. Stunning, even. She was wearing a simple but very elegant black dress, and her silky black locks were pulled up into a loose bun.
"Hello, Emily," Paige said softly, her smile a little hesitant, but her eyes sparkling.
"Hello," Emily echoed with a small tilt of her head, and her trademark dimpled smile.
"You look great, Paige."
"You too, Em."
Paige took a few steps forward and handed Emily the bottle of fine wine she had brought.
"It seems a little unnecessary, considering all this" she observed, motioning to the countertop, where an impressive array of wine bottles and other drinks was displayed.
"Oh no, it's perfect," Emily said promptly. "You always had the best taste in wine."
Paige blushed a little, and dipped her head.
"Thanks. Hanna and Caleb's place looks amazing," she said.
"It is indeed,"Emily approved. "It's really well-designed, and rather spacious, for a Manhattan appartment."
A silence fell over the two women.
"Where is Finn?" Emily asked. She could feel Paige's nervousness, and to be honest, she was pretty edgy herself.
"Oh, Hanna already kidnapped him. With the promise of a miniature race track, I think?"
"Tyler has the best toys," Emily smiled. "Wait to see his room. He is just spoiled."
"Well, I guess all our kids are," Paige replied in a heartbeat.
Emily's smile faltered, and Paige cursed herself internally. Damn, McCullers. She is missing her daughters like crazy, and you had to mention that.
Hanna's party was going at full blast, and Paige hadn't had a chance to spend some quality time with Emily yet- much less dance with her. Though the party had started off rather formal, with champagne and petits fours, the guests had loosened up quickly, and some couples and friends were now dancing to the upbeat RnB music Hanna had chosen for the evening (her taste, Paige noted, didn't seem to have changed over years).
Paige had exchanged pleasantries with some of the Riverses' guests, as well as with Hanna and Caleb, of course. It was nice, though a little odd, to catch up with them after so many years. Rosewood was a closed chapter of Paige's life. At least, that's what she had decided.
Paige had also, of course, checked on Finn regularly during the evening. Her little boy and Tyler, Hanna and Caleb's son, seemed to have clicked immediately. They were currently busy building a 'fort' in Tyler's bedroom, under the supervision of the babysitter the Riverses had hired for the evening.
Each time Paige had tried to talk to Emily, and even just to approach her, her ex had been elusive, pretending to have something urgent to do (supervising the caterer's work, for instance, which was clearly a pretext, given that the service and the food were impeccable).
Paige was beginning to get annoyed and a bit frustrated, and when she and Emily practically bumped into each other in the hallway (Emily was exciting the bathroom, and Paige had just checked on Finn), the auburn woman grabbed the other woman's arm, softly but firmly. "Em, are you avoiding me?"
Emily looked away and mumbled: "What? Paige, no. I'm not."
"Really? Because it seems that you don't want to talk to me," Paige said, her voice more soft than stiff. Her eyes were searching Emily's, but the raven-haired woman lowered her head and just shrugged.
Paige let go of Emily's arm and sighed. Taking a step back, she said: "You know, Emily, I was really looking forward to spending some time with you tonight. I mean, I'm very happy to catch up with Hanna and Caleb, but you realize that you're the main reason I came to this party, right?..."
"Really?" Emily whispered. She hadn't wanted to get her hopes up. When Hanna had told her that Paige (and her son) were attending the party, Emily hadn't know how to react. Or what to think. One one hand, she was beyond excited at the prospect of seeing Paige again. On the other hand, she didn't know whether she was ready for what might happen between them -or, maybe worse, not happen.
"I'm sorry, Paige. It's just..." Emily hesitated and reached for Paige's hand. When her ex didn't pull back, Emily confessed: "Seeing you... it brings back so many memories." And feelings.
"For me too, Em, believe me" Paige softly said. "But how about for now, we both try to enjoy the evening? And the party? Let's leave the worries for tomorrow. Or not... "
Emily cracked up a smile. "You know what Spencer always used to say? About worrying?"
Paige raised a brow. "You're bringing up Hastings at this moment? Really?"
Emily chuckled, and Paige rolled her eyes. "Okay, tell me."
"Well, she used to tell us 'why enjoy today when you could be worrying about tomorrow'."
Paige smiled knowingly. "I see. That's very Spencer. There was a time when I used to think like that, too... But not anymore. The teenage years can be pretty angsty, especially when you happen to grow up in Rosewood, but that's all water under the bridge. We're all adults now."
"And parents," Emily observed with a soft smile.
"Yeah," Paige said with a sigh. "That's crazy, right?..."
They smiled at each other, both relieved that the previous tension between them had finally lifted a bit.
Paige cleared her throat. "So, um, do you want to dance? Hanna's choice of music is not really my cup of tea, but well, it's still music. And I could use the exercise. I ate way too many of those incredible petits fours tonight."
Emily shook her head and bit a smile. No matter how many years had passed, Paige always had the most adorable and awkward way to ask Emily for a dance.
"So, what you're saying is that I would be doing you a favor if I dance with you?" Emily asked, keeping a light tone.
"Exactly," Paige confirmed with a big grin. She squeezed Emily's hand and pulled her towards the living room.
When Hanna saw that Emily and Paige were back in the living room area, gently swaying to the upbeat music next to each other, but not exactly dancing together yet, she grabbed Caleb's arm and whispered: "Caleb! Put on the song, quick!"
"Uh? What song?" Caleb asked, startled.
"The song! You know, the old, cheesy one about love!"
"There are a lot of songs that fit that description, Hanna," Caleb said in a patient tone. After six years of marriage, he had gotten pretty used to his wife's outbursts.
Hanna rolled her eyes. "I know, duh! But I'm talking about that one. That old slow song Emily loves so much. It's from the Seventies... that band with the hairy dudes..."
"Hanna, you've got to be more specific," Caleb pointed out. "Pretty much all of the musicians wore long hair and shaggy beards at the time."
"You're really not helping!" Hanna exclaimed, frustrated. "Wait... I'm not sure about the title, but it's got the word 'deep' in it!"
"'River deep, Mountain high'? 'Deep in the heart'? 'Knee Deep'?" Caleb proposed.
"No, no!... I told you, it's a slow song! And the singers had those weird, high-pitched voices..."
"Wait... are you talking about 'How deep is your love?, from the Bee Gees?'" Caleb suggested. "It's an oldie, but a goodie!"
"Yes, that's the one!" an excited Hanna almost yelled, before planting a kiss on her husband's lips. "Caleb Rivers, I love you so much! Even though you're starting to lose your hair!"
"Hey! I'm not losing my hair! Just... keeping it short."
When the first notes of 'How Deep is your love' started to play, Emily and Paige looked at each other and shared a small, tentative smile.
There was a story behind that song - more specifically, behind the record itself. Emily had gotten the vinyl record from her parents and had kept it on a shelf in her college room, first at Pepperdine, and then at Stanford when she and Paige had shared a small apartment for a while. Emily and Paige didn't have a record player to listen to at the time, so they never had the opportunity to dance to the Bee Gees' tune.
But they both knew and loved that song. Not only because it was a classic rock ballad, as Caleb had pointed out to Hanna, but because Emily's parents had danced to it at their wedding. A story that Pam and Wayne Fields had shared countless times with their daughter -and to Paige, the girl they had wished to have as their daughter-in-law someday.
"...I guess we have to dance to this one, right?" Paige said in her low, husky voice. She was trying to act cool, but her hands were actually trembling slightly as she pulled Emily closer, her arms finding their place naturally around the dark-haired girl's waist. Emily smiled and wrapped her own arms around Paige's neck.
Paige's eyes were searching Emily's, and looking back at Paige, Emily was struck by the genuine tenderness she could see in Paige's deep, brown orbs. She felt a shiver run through her. It's been so long...
As if by magic, the song's lyrics seemed to echo their feelings.
"I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I want to feel you in my arms again...
How deep is your love, how deep is your love
How deep is your love?...
I really mean to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they all should let us be
We belong to you and me..."
Paige buried her head in Emily's shoulder and felt, more than heard, the small sigh of satisfaction the black-haired girl let out. Paige sighed in delight too, inhaling Emily's scent - a perfume she had never forgotten. It smelled of spice and cinnamon, a fragrance that Emily loved to wear at this time of year.
"Is this... the Extreme Girl perfume?" Paige whispered in Emily's ear.
"Yes. Exactly. You... you remembered?"Emily asked, surprised but delighted. Paige had offered her her first bottle of the Paco Rabanne perfume, so many years ago. And, throughout the years, every Christmas, Emily had bought the same perfume. Even though Alison disliked the scent, finding it"too mundane".
"Of course," Paige said with a soft smile. "It still suits you perfectly," she whispered, her voice a bit huskier, her heart hammering in her chest. "Spice and cinnamon... salty and sweet... as if it was created especially for you, Em."
Emily's heart was beating faster, too. And the song's soft melody and lyrics were definitely not helping her to keep her guard up.
"I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest, darkest hour
You're my savior when I fall
And you may not think I care for you
When you know down inside that I really do
And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love, how deep..."
"Damn it, Hanna! You had to be so obvious, playing this song!" Emily muttered, rolling her eyes, but failing to hide her smile.
Paige giggled softly. "Well, I'm glad she did, Emily."
"I am, too," Emily whispered in Paige's ear, earning a contended sigh from the auburn woman. Paige tightened her grip around Emily's waist, pulling her even closer.
A few slow songs later, Emily and Paige were still dancing together, their eyes closed, when they heard Hanna coughing lightly behind them.
"Um, Paige?... sorry to interrupt, but your son is asking for you."
Paige's eyes burst wide open. "Is something wrong?"
"No, no, don't worry," Hanna assured her. "The babysitter just told me that Finn woke up calling your name. Probably a little nightmare, that's all."
The concern was obvious on Paige's face, and that wasn't lost on Emily. How could she not understand? She was a mother too.
"Go and take care of him, Paige," Emily's said, with a reassuring squeeze on Paige's shoulder.
"Thank you, Em," Paige whispered, before making a beeline for the room where Tyler and Finn were sleeping.
A pensive Paige was standing alone on the balcony, looking at Central Park , all lit up, below her, when she heard Emily's soft voice behind her.
"Paige... it's a bit cold to be out there, don't you think?"
Paige turned over and smiled. "Maybe, yes. I don't know. I felt a bit dizzy in there, so I thought I could use the fresh air."
"Is Finn allright?"
"Oh, yes, Em, Finn's fine. Totally fine. Everything is fine with Finn," Paige deadpanned, earning a slight giggle from Emily. She had the impression that it wasn't the first time that Paige had made that joke. Paige McCullers, I so missed your lame jokes... and everything else.
"I've brought you eggnog," Emily said, holding out a steaming cup to Paige, who took the offering with a thankful smile. Paige took a sip of the warm drink, relishing the nutmeg and rum flavor.
"Hum. It's really good," she approved, her eyes half closed.
"I just made it," Emily said. "Especially for you. It's my mother's recipe, you know. It's got not only nutmeg in it, but also some cinnamon. The secret ingredient that makes all the difference, according to Pam Fields."
"Really? Well, it's excellent," Paige said, taking another sip. She couldn't help but feel elated at the thought of Emily preparing the eggnog specially for her.
How come you make me feel like I'm seventeen again, Emily Fields?...
Emily took a tentative step forward, needing to be closer to Paige, but not wanting to intrude.
"Do you mind if I stay here with you?" she asked. "I could use the fresh air, too."
Paige smiled. "Sure, Em." She reached out for Emily's hand and pulled her closer.
The two women stayed silent for a while, both staring at the city's Christmas lights below them.
"It's splendid," Emily whispered. "I had forgotten that the Christmas lights were so beautiful and... magic."
Paige smiled fondly. "They are, Em."
Then, Emily released a breath she didn't know she was holding.
"Paige..." she said, her voice trembling slightly.
"Yes, Emily?"
"I'm a mess, you know? I'm a mess," the raven-haired woman said in a whisper.
"Emily..."
"No, Paige, really. I'm not that teenage girl you fell in love with anymore."
"Neither am I," Paige said, her voice soft but firm. She wrapped her arm around Emily's shoulders. "And yet, here we are. We might be a bit older now, but Em, we still have the best years of our life ahead of us."
"Do... do you really believe that?"
"I do," Paige affirmed. "And just so you know, my heart... my teenage heart... is still here, beating for you, Emily. That hasn't changed," she said in her low, husky voice.
Emily let out a strangled sound, halfway between a laugh and a sob.
"Even though I broke that heart of yours more than once?..." she whispered.
"That's the thing about teenage hearts, Em. They're resilient. They heal. They grow stronger. And they never lose hope. Even if there's just a glimmer of it left."
"When did you become so wise, Paige McCullers? And how come you still have this effect on me?"
Paige beamed. "I do?"
"You know you do," Emily said. Her beautiful dimpled smile was back, much to Paige's relief - and delight.
"Well, that's good to know. So..." Paige started with a half-grin.
"Yes?"
"What would you answer, Emily Fields, if a beautiful, self-assured, grown-up woman with a teenage heart asked you on a date for New Year's eve?..."
"I'd say yes, Paige McCullers... in a heartbeat."
THE END
A/N: Happy holidays, awesome Paily readers. You guys mean a lot to me - more than you may imagine. I thought you all deserved a Christmas story. As well as our beloved Paige and Emily, of course. Merry Christmas to you all!