A/N: Hey guys, DPLxBeAsTxSnIpE here with a new RWBY fanfic. Some of you may have read my one-shot 'The One In The Hole', and this is a continuation of it.

Warning: general crack. Drunk-as-fuck me came up with this idea and wrote it. Expect it to be meant for laughs only.

Happy Holidays!

The Mad King of Beacon

Summary: Professor Port and Edgar have taken over Beacon. Now, the Mad King will make everyone bend to his will, or they will suffer a fate worse than death itself.

*Coronation of Edgars*

Ozpin and Glynda gulped as the door to the headmaster's office was suddenly blasted off of its hinges, smoke billowing into it. "Oh no…" 'I had hoped this wouldn't happen. All they had to do was pay attention, for Oum's sake. Why wasn't I stricter with punishments? It's in the job description of disciplinarian.'

Professor Port lowered his blunderaxe, letting out a bellowing laugh as he strode in with that disturbing entity now christened as Edgar by his side. "Greetings, my minions. I've been dying to have an audience with you. As has Edgar here."

The cow let out a slow moo, and the insane professor rested his weapon against his shoulder as he stalked over to the two other professors with booming steps that literally shook the entire academy. "Now, I believe it is time that I, King Port of Beacon, took his rightful throne. Either bow down to me, or face a fate worse than death itself."

Ozpin and Glynda shared a glance, defiance in their eyes as they nodded simultaneously before drawing their weapons; they weren't giving in to this lunatic just yet. "Oh really? And what could possibly be worse than death?" 'He can't possibly take us both on, and with only that stupid cow of his by his side to boot.'

Port's mustache quivered in a frenzied excitement, and he chuckled before leaning in close. "I see you've opted for the punishment. What a pity. I hope you enjoy the show."

Several agonizing hours later…

Ozpin and Glynda let out synchronized sighs of defeat, the former headmaster glaring at the self-proclaimed Mad King of Beacon through the glass of their imprisonment. "You traitorous little…the Council won't stand for this, Peter!"

The two had been beaten, disarmed, and rechristened as 'Edgar II' and 'Edgar III' following a battle with Port. Now, they were both trapped in glass cases in the floor of Port's classroom, and Glynda was silently kicking herself for not taking the threat of the loony man seriously. 'Didn't think he'd go this far. Looks like we should've let him go a long damn time ago.' "You've made the cow the headmaster in Ozpin's place! How does that even make sense!?"

"His name is Edgar. And you will respect him and his master if you wish to keep your lungs on the inside, Edgar III," Port growled, loading an Ice Dust cartridge into his blunderaxe. "Now, you are the ones in the hole, and shall be the first to witness my grandiose plans for this dismal excuse of a fortress! Ahahahahahahahahaha! Bow before your king!"

'He's definitely lost it.' Glynda wished she was actually capable of bringing him down now; who knew that stupid cow was actually useful in combat!?After watching him practically absorb Ozpin's own attacks and dish it back with minimal effort, Glynda tried to release whatever spell Peter had bound to him, and Edgar just refused to leave his master's side. It was probably the most extreme case of Stockholm Syndrome she'd ever seen. 'The next time Port is bordering on insanity, don't ignore it!'

"How are you going to suddenly christen us as Edgar!?" Ozpin growled. "We look nothing like cows! Edgar's black and white, and we're human!"

Edgar mooed, and Port's eyebrow twitched before he knelt down with a devilish smirk on his face. "Hehehehe…foolish human. You're already Edgar, because as I've said, Edgar is the one in the hole. You are in that hole together, Edgar II and Edgar III, because I allow it. You continue to exist because Edgar wills for it to be that way." Yep. Definitely developed cranial insanitosous. Or, since the professors are slowly losing their minds with each second they spent in that forsaken hole, Port had gone bonkers. Possibly acquired from Edgar, whatever that cursed entity was.

He stood back up, laughing crazily and rubbing his hands together gleefully. "As for not looking like Edgars yet…don't worry. You'll remain that way for only a short while longer, hehehehe. The suits are almost ready for you."

"Wait, what!?"

That demonic smirk only grew, and Port's eyes were now blazing red. "Oh, you'll see very soon. For now, enjoy your…containment. I have a new addition to make to this pathetic fortress. I think I shall add pictures of kung-fu to the outside, yes…"

Port started to walk out of the classroom, Edgar mooing as he followed his master, and Glynda and Ozpin began to scream in frustration as they tried (and failed miserably) to try and break the glass above them. "Curse you Port! You'll regret this!"

"Hahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahaha! You're trapped, you fools! There is no way you can escape! Now watch from your glassy prison as all of Remnant bows before the Mad King of Beacon, Peter Port! Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Port laughed, shaking the academy again. "The world will either accept me as their new King, or suffer the fate of becoming ones in the hole with you! Ahahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahaha!"

"And you think the students are going to allow this!?"

"Oh, they have already become my minions, my dearest Glynda. Why, Team CRDL is building me a throne of beautiful gold and diamonds as I speak. I have no idea why I'm even bothering to explain all of this, silly me!" Port giggled like a madman. "It'll be so much better for you to witness all of my glorious conquests from your hole! Ahahaha! Well, I must be off! Tatty bye, my little minions!"

The raving madman skipped away in his sick, twisted delight, and Glynda sighed before turning back to her fellow captive. "Ozpin?"

"Yes?"

"We're screwed, aren't we?"

"We are. Oum have mercy on us both."

A/N: And that's a wrap. *is giggling like a crazy person* I'm having waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much fun with this shit. Next up, Glynda and Oz get their 'suits' and someone has a traumatic experience after trying to drive a certain vehicle! *hint* Think Season 1 of Red vs. Blue…

P.S. I'm on Twitter now! Follow me DPLxBeAsTxSnIpE if you ever want to hit me up and keep track of the elusive author :3