"Seattle? Really?" Chloe's face stared down at me as I rested my head in her lap.

"What's the problem? It's only like a four hour drive." I told her.

Chloe brushed her hand through my hair and rolled her head, "It's not the drive."

I sat up out of Chloe's lap, "Okay… So what then?"

Chloe's eyes drifted out in front of her. I reached my hand to her face and guided it back to me.

"Hey." I said softly, "You can talk to me about anything…" I gave her a smile. "But you also don't have to if you don't want to."

Chloe took a deep breath, "I'm not good with emotional shit."

I thought back to my photoshoot with Nathan. All the feelings I dredged up about myself. About what I was doing to Chloe.

"My handling of emotions involve forest fires and blood loss. I think I have you beat there."

Chloe rolled her head, "Could you just… Not."

I leaned back into the couch. "Sorry. I just don't get what the hangup is about Seattle." And I'm really bad at communicating my own insecure feelings.

"It's no hangup," Chloe defended quickly. "We'll go it just caught me by surprise."

I raised an eyebrow at her, "Okay then. We'll spend the night there and drive back in the morning."

"Spend the night?" Chloe questioned.

"Uh yea?" I looked at her quizzically, "Not driving back through the night after the concert."

"No, I mean, we aren't old enough to book a hotel room." Chloe pointed out.

I gave her a devilish smile, "Leave that to me. Anyway, you're in, right?"

Chloe gave a forced smile, "Of course."

"Nice, I'll send a text to see how many other people I can wrangle up."

Sadly no one else responded that they could make it. It was just going to be Chloe and I. That was honestly disappointing. Not just for the support for Skip, but a distraction for myself. Ever since the photoshoot with Nathan things felt weird with Chloe. Well that's not fair to Chloe, I was the one that was weird. On one hand I felt that I should be honest with Chloe just like she's always been with me, but on the other hand I don't want to hurt her.

I need help. I need someone to point me in the right direction. Hell, I needed someone to tell me what to do. I selected her name in my phone and listened as it rang.

"Rachel?" A newly familiar voice asked?

"Hey mom." I responded. Doing my best to hold the nerves out of my voice. "Could we meet up somewhere and… talk?"

"Of course."

I sat waiting in the junkyard. I worried about what Sera might say, or that she wouldn't have any answers either. I don't get why I feel so much guilt over my relationship with Chloe either. Things were great. Hanging out all the time, having fun, and having more fun. We both cared about each other. And I do care a lot about her. I couldn't imagine going forward without her.

I saw my mom appear from behind a pile of junk. I waved and beckoned her over to where I sat.

"Thanks for coming mom." I said to her as she sat next to me.

"Is everything okay?" She asked concerned.

I nodded my head, "Yea things are fine… I just wanted to try to figure something out and I think you are the only one who could help."

Sera reached into her bag and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She pulled one out and tilted the open pack toward me. I took the offer and drew one myself. She then pulled out a lighter and lit both before putting everything back into her bag.

She took a drag and slowly exhaled the smoke out "Alright, hit me with it."

I just looked at the lit cigarette between my fingers for a moment. Trying to find a place to begin. A way to weave my words. To find a way to convey the clusterfuck going on between my head and heart.

"You said having a kid was just something you felt like you had to do. Was that for my dad or…" I left it open hoping for her to fill in the blank.

Sera blew out a plume of smoke. "Not just for James. I don't know how to explain it. I just felt that having a baby, starting a family, was what I was supposed to do."

"Do you regret it?" I asked it with a small desire for her to wish away my existence. To absolve me of some of the pain that I had caused people.

"Are you asking if I regret having you?" She asked directly.

I didn't speak. I only nodded my head.

Sara took another drag, looked me in the eye trying to read me. "I don't regret you Rachel. You are so much more than I imagined."

"Do you wish you got clean then, when I was a baby?"

Sera took in a deep breath. "I don't wish for things to have happened any other way. You are an incredible young woman, better than I ever could have imagined. Now, you wanna fill me in on what this is really about?"

If I did that though I felt like I would fall apart. The guilt just burning me away. Saying it out loud would just fuel the smouldering fire inside me. But I couldn't just sit her and burn. I needed to get it out.

"Chloe loves me." I let out.

Sera flicked the ash off her cigarette casually. "And you don't know what to do with that."

I took in and let out a deep breath. "I don't think I can return the favor." My voice started to crack as the feelings of guilt filled me up again. "She like, really loves me and I just know I could never love her that way." The cracking opened the way for the tears. "But I don't want to lose her... I'm a shitty selfish person and I don't know what to do about it." I buried my head in my hands as I tried to collect myself.

"Hey." Sera said, placing her hand on my shoulder. "You're not a shitty person."

I pulled myself up and looked at her. "How would you know that?"

Sera looked me in the eye, "A shitty person is a mom who abandons her husband and baby girl chasing after a high. Not a fifteen year old girl with hopes and dreams."

I tilted back as I took in her words. Her self admittance to who she was by what she did.

Sera slid closer and gave me a small bump. "Just the fact that you care so much about her and her feelings proves that, you know, you're a good person."

Sera's words hit me. She didn't give me the answer I wanted. She didn't tell me how to feel. She just let me know that I do feel. I wasn't like my mom when she had me. I'm not acting a certain way because I need to with Chloe. Or that it's what I'm supposed to do because of how she treats me.

I do love Chloe.

I just love her differently than she loves me.

It's not perfect or ideal. But if I've learned anything the past few months it's that if something's perfect it's a lie.

I wrapped my arms around Sera, "Thanks mom."

"Anytime."

I heard the horn from Chloe's truck from my room. I quickly grabbed my overnight bag and took the steps two at a time going down.

"Rachel." My mom called from the living room as my hand touched the front door.

I did a one eighty to face her, "Yea mom?"

"I know you're father already gave you an ear full about this trip." She stood up and walked over to me and wrapped me a hug. "But whatever you end up doing just please be safe and come home."

I hugged her back, "I will. I'll see you tomorrow. Tell dad goodbye and to not have the cops follow us or anything." I tried to sound sarcastic about the last part, but I mean, he'd probably pull something like that.

The embrace released and I opened the door to see Chloe walking up.

"Oh hey Rachel, Mrs Amber." She said plainly.

Her dead tone threw me into suspicion immediately. Her and I were going away from our family's to see a rock concert and then spend the night together just us. It was like when I first brought up the idea of the trip. Chloe didn't like something about this.

"Hey girl." I responded before turning back to my mom. "I'll call when we get to the hotel."

"Okay, have fun girls. Look out for each other." My mom said, eyeing Chloe.

"I'll take good care of her Mrs. Amber." Chloe gave a salute.

I stepped outside and gave my mom a last wave, "Love ya, see you tomorrow."

She waved us off as I loaded my things into Chloe's truck. Chloe took a look at a map she had taped to the dash before pulling away from my house.

"I'm so excited for this trip. Perfect way to close out the school year." I exclaimed.

"Don't you still have classes next week?" Chloe pointed out.

"Just a few finals that I'm plenty prepared for." I lied. The truth was since the thing with my dad and being in the hospital I had fallen behind a bit in class. But I'd have to major bomb the tests to lose my A's. I wasn't worried about it. There's been more important things going on.

"Alright then."

I rolled my eyes at her bland response. I wanted to know what was on her mind, but I didn't want to push things in a way that could ruin this trip. Everything was finally starting to feel good again.

I tried to open up conversation, "Skip says they are opening for a band called In This Moment they just wrapped an album or something and are testing things out before heading out on a big tour."

"Cool."

"Skip says he'll give me a backstage pass if I blow him."

My patience ended up running out very quickly.

"Oh... wait what!?" She snapped a quick look at me before looking back at the road.

"What is up with you girl?" I leaned back against the door to face her more.

"There's nothing up." She said not looking away from the road.

"We are leaving Arcadia Bay for twenty-four hours and you seem bothered by that…" My voice softened, "I thought you'd like to get away with me?"

Chloe darted between me and the road. "Rachel it's… It's not you okay. It's just, I don't… like I just didn't expect to be ever going to Seattle."

"What's wrong with Seattle. No bullshit either Chloe. We talk to each other, remember."

Chloe's grip on the steering wheel tightened as she took in a deep breath.

"Alright, remember that friend who left me. Well Seattle is where she disappeared to." Saying just that seemed to take the breath out of her.

"Oh." Right I remember now. Max the girl from the letters and the pictures. The girl from when Chloe's dad was still alive. The girl from before Chloe became my Chloe.

I wanted to ask if she wanted to see about dropping by her old friend, but I didn't want that to change things. I felt selfish again. I didn't want to push Chloe like that anymore. I want her to be genuine with me.

Max was a big part of her life though. I couldn't just stay blind to that part of Chloe's life.

"Do you want to see her?" I asked. Not even sure if I wanted her to say no or yes.

Chloe didn't answer right away. The look on her face told me she was going through it in her head. Whatever happened between them was complicated.

"No." She finally said with confidence. "If Max wanted me I've been right here this whole time." She shook her head and leaned against her arm tucked under her cheek.

"Fuck Max." She said under her breath.

I asked gently, "What did Max do?"

"She didn't do anything." Chloe spoke more aggressively now. "She had to move to Seattle with her parents, which fucking sucked yea, but not the end of the world. Slowly though she stopped calling and responding to texts. That was it. Out with the old and in with the new. She barely even stayed for my Dad's funeral."

The last bit really took me back.

"Whoa Chloe, I'm so sorry."

Chloe just shook her head. "It's old news Rachel. Max, my dad, they're gone. I'm done fighting it."

Chloe lost her dad and best friend back to back. That's totally fucked. I mean I had Chloe, well more like kidnapped Chloe, when I was dealing with my dad's bullshit, but Chloe didn't have anyone.

"Chloe." I slid up next to her and gently laid my head on her shoulder. I brought my hand up and covered hers over the steering wheel. "I won't leave you. If I'm ever getting out of this town I'm taking you with me."

"Rachel that's… great and all, but you don't know that. What happens when you get scholarships to some big fancy college."

"If they want me so bad they're gonna have to take you too. We're a package deal Price." I told her.

"C'mon stop with the bullshit Rachel."

"I mean it Chloe. You are one of the best things I have in my life."

Chloe tilted her head onto mine.

"Also," I started. "I'll go fuck Max up if you want."

Chloe laughed.

"I mean it. You don't get to break my girls heart and walk away clean. I'll fuck a bitch up."

Chloe continued laughing. "I appreciate the offer. I'll let you know if I need her taken care of."

"Good"

Skip's band did alright. Their last song got the crowd going a bit. I felt a little bad at the lack of energy for them though. Chloe and I were right up front though cheering him on the whole time though. Everything shifted when In This Moment took the stage. The energy the lead singer put off was intense. I couldn't help but be jealous of her command of the crowd.

For a few songs things slowed down. I wrapped my arms around Chloe from behind and just swayed with her. In this moment this was all that mattered. Her hands held onto mine as we let the music take us places. Some of the songs reminded me of Chloe saving me. Others made me think about my own destructive tendencies the past few months. It was a magical experience. Just like the first night Chloe and I spent together. No words between us. None needed to be said.

The show closed out and I get a text from Skip inviting us to a little after party out back. I grabbed Chloe and forced my way through the crowds and walked around to the back of the venue where trailers and vans were parked for the bands. Several people were either loading up equipment or drinking. Skip was leaned up against one of the trailers with a beer in his hand. He caught sight of us and waved us over.

"Rachel, Chloe, so cool of you guys to show."

"Of course." I replied, "You guys did well."

Skip waved it off, "Nah, crowd was dead most for most of our shit." Skip looked over at the rest of his band members. "Oh, Rachel this is Tony, Marky, and Jim." He pointed to each one in turn.

Tony was a big guy. He wore a torn up leather biker jacket and black denim jeans. His frizzy long hair match his frizzy long beard. He gave a wave as Skip said his name. Next to him was Marky. Marky was tall and thin. His opened vest revealed several tattoos dotted over his torso and his left arm was covered in a sleeve. He was clean shaven with a shaved head. Honestly he was pretty good looking. He gave his head a nod as skip called him. Last was Jim who honestly looked out of place next to the rest of them. He had short thinning hair and wore a long sleeve black shirt and dark jeans. He had a neat goatee and glasses. He looked like he could work at a bank instead of a punk rock band.

"Sup fella's" Chloe greeted.

Marky was the first to speak, "Damn Skip didn't know you brought some groupies."

Before I could speak Tony gave Marky a smack in the stomach, "You really think Skip could manage chicks this hot."

I gave Chloe a side smile before stepping behind her and wrapping my arms around her. "Sorry boys, our party is all full for the night. You'll just have to use your imagination."

Several "Ooo's" could be heard from some of the other bands and techs around. Both Skip and Jim laughed.

Skip pulled out a few beers and offered them to Chloe and I. "Not your security guard anymore."

Chloe quickly grabbed the offering. "Thank hell for that."

We hung around with Skip and his band for another hour. We talked about his songs and what could make them better. He even introduced us to the members of In This Moment. They were much more normal than their theatrical and borderline Satanic show would lead you to believe. The bands all left off to prep for leaving for the next part of the tour leaving just Chloe, Skip and myself.

"So you guys gonna hit anything while you're up here?" Skip asked.

I gave a quick look at Chloe, "Probably not, but who knows the night is still young."

Skip gave a nod as he finished his beer, "Well be careful. Not security anymore but you girls are cool. Whatever you do, stay safe I gotta help get the shit ready for tomorrow. Thanks again for coming out."

Skip held out his fist and Chloe and I bumped it.

"Thanks for the invite Skip." I said, "Hope to do it again."

"Maybe we'll be the headliner next time." Skip responded as he walked away waving.

I turned to Chloe whose face was still, lost in thought.

I wrapped my arm around her, "You ready to turn in it, Price?"

I felt Chloe take in a deep breath "Let's find Max."

"What?" I questioned, recoiling from her. "It's like midnight. You really want to do this?"

Chloe turned to me. "Yea, let's go. I'm not gonna sit around not knowing what her problem is."

"Okay? Do you even know where she lives?"

"I have an address." Chloe replied proudly.

I waved my hands in defeat. "Alright I guess we're do this."

Chloe's eyes grew slightly wide. She probably expected more of a fight but to be honest…

I wanted to meet this Max.

Chloe turned and I followed as she walked off back toward the front.

"So what's the plan exactly?" I asked

"The plan..." Chloe started before double taking each direction down the street and proceeding to where she parked the truck. "Is to ask her what the fuck her problem is."

"I see. Might I suggest not acting like you're going to kick her ass right from the start." I replied behind Chloe.

Chloe looked back at me to see my slight smile across my face. "I mean as the new girl I reserve the right to throw the first punch if anything."

"Oh we'll see." Chloe replied.

We made it to the truck and got in. Chloe consulted her phone and then traced a path along the map on the dash.

"Not too bad." She said.

I gave her a smile as she put the truck in gear and drove off.

"So anything I should know about Max before I meet her?" I asked. I tried to sound playful to hide the actual nervousness I was feeling in my gut. Like if Chloe saw Max everything would change between Chloe and me.

"Well she's not like me." Chloe responded.

"No one's like you." I told her.

I couldn't see her eyes, but I could feel them roll.

"I mean she's like the soft spoken artsy type." Chloe explained. "Or at least she was when she left."

"Artsy huh?"

It wasn't long before Chloe's driving slowed to a crawl as we wound our way through a residential neighborhood. We weaved past a rouand-a-bout and Chloe parked the car on the side of the road. Her energy had shifted. Her determination now wisped away into fear. Her hands clutched the steering wheel holding herself to the truck.

I put my hand over hers. "Don't tell me my great protector and show saver has a case of the nerves."

Chloe's head turned to me. "Rachel, when you were tracking down your dad's secret, did you ever feel like it might have been better to let it go?"

Her question caught me off guard, "Umm… Honestly it's hard to remember now. I loved my dad Chloe, and the thought that he was keeping something from me… It just ate at me."

Chloe's head turned toward a house down and across the street. "Is it better now? Going through all that bullshit?"

I took a moment. Better wouldn't be the word I used. Actually running through the list almost everything was in some way worse. My school grades and performance slipped, I almost was unable to do a show, The safety and love I took for granted with my parents was damaged at best. I got stabbed.

The only thing that was better was sitting right here with me.

"It brought me to you, Chloe."

Her head dropped before slowly turning toward me. I could see her fighting to keep tears from falling.

I leaned over and put my head to hers, "Hey, whatever happens I'll always be here. You're not going to lose me, Chloe."

Chloe pulled back and took in a deep breath.

"You know Max waited until the last moment to tell me she was leaving." Chloe brought her hand up to wipe her eyes. "Our families were pretty close so I knew weeks before hand, but she never told me."

Chloe leaned her head back against the seat. "I didn't really want her to anyway. I remember the last day we had together. We were supposed to be cleaning out my room, but I pulled Max into finding our old pirate treasure."

I gave her a look.

Chloe gave a small smile, "A phase I never quite grew out of."

"Argh, I'll take yurr booty." I joked.

"Something like that." Chloe commented before continuing, "I wanted it to be like it always was. Max and I playing, having fun, not worrying about school, or having to split up. We ended up digging up a time capsule my dad buried in place of the box Max and I had buried."

Chloe's eyes dropped and she went quiet as she focused on the memory. "I was doing everything I could to not think about losing my best friend. We were sitting on my couch when she finally told me. And then… My mom came home."

Chloe took a moment as the memory hit her, "The next few days are a blur... but I remember coming home from the funeral. I remember coming home to a tape recording Max left."

Chloe reached in her pocket and pulled out a tape. She put it in the truck and hit play.

"Hey… Chloe… this is Max.

I guess I just wanted to leave you one more message.

Because I know this was the absolute worst time for me to go. I thought maybe… If you heard my voice it could be a little bit like I was there. I don't know, maybe this was a dumb idea. I would give anything to be there with you now. It's so hard, trying to say what I'm thinking. If I could just see you… But we'll get good at it - great at it! We'll write and talk all the time. And then you'll come visit and it'll be like I never left. I mean it, you don't have to worry about anything changing. You're dealing with so much other stuff. You don't deserve any of this. Chloe, listen. Even if I never - even if we're moving for good…

We're always together, okay? Even when we're apart. We're still Max and Chloe.

I will always, always love you.

Goodbye."

The tape ended and we both just sat in silence.

"Chloe." I finally said. "I think you should go talk to Max."

Chloe just stared at the tape player for a moment before hitting the eject button. She looked at in her hand.

"Chloe." I said softly.

She opened her door and tossed the tape out into the street.

She slammed the door shut and pulled away.