Loki hides his face, annoyed by the light that enters from the windows.

The body under him moves a little. He's sprawled on top of Thor, like the day before… yes, the enchantment, he remembers now. But, his mind is foggy. What happened the night before? He streches and rubbing against Thor. He's so warm and comfortable. He yawnes, keeps his eyes closed. He wants to stay a little more inside that little soft bubble he's woken up in.

He doesn't want to start it all again, Another false day. Another heartbreak, in a downward spiral with no end in sight.

The sun is high: soon, they'll call them, to get up. He feels Thor moving, hug him. But it feels strange, something is wrong -again- with their bodies. He stills, held by those strong arms, wrapped in the warmth he so loves. A sigh escapes him. Slowly, all the previous night's facts come to him.

He screamed at the Queen. He cried against Thor's shoulder… a tear falls. And then? Then there was Thor. Kissing his face and his neck. Telling him he loved him. Was it a dream? Thor was an adult, it must have been a dream, Thor wouldn't hold him like this as and adult.

"Loki…"

That voice is warm, and hoarse, and adult…

"Thor…" Loki starts to shiver. It was all real? It's unthinkable…

"I'll never leave you alone again. I was wrong. I'm here now, I'll make amend." Thor tightens his embrace, kisses his shoulder, and his neck, everywhere he can reach.

"I love you, Loki" He alternates words and kisses, feels Loki's hands stroking him and smiles. Even thought the stroking quickly turn to scratching.

"You can hurt me, my love, as much as you want." He can't restrain a groan when the other's nails cut into his skin. "I won't throw you away for it."

Thor can smell blood in the air. "I swear to you, Loki. I'll never leave you again." He pulls him close, shifting a little to place a kiss on his temple. "I love you."

He whispers sweetly into his ear, and when Loki lifts his clear eyes, Thor gets lost in them. They look so desperate.

"I love you Loki." He says it while locking their gazes. Loki ceases his scratching campaign. Is Thor sincere? He already knows the answer, he can read it in the luminous eyes.

"I love you, Thor" he mumbles, and a new tear slids down his cheek. Thor leans in to kiss it away, but he turns his head. They kiss sweetly. Loki doesn't want to think. He'll be left alone. Like always, his Sun tells him he's right there, and then leaves him in the dark.

It'll hurt, but he's there now. A few minutes more cradled by those arms are worth all the pain he'll feel later.

"These days, my mind was aware of everything, even if I didn't have control over my body." Thor starts to talk, while Loki hides his face against his marred neck and cries silently.

"At first, I didn't understand. I thought you were under the same enchantment. But then I realized you were… different. I was exasperating as a child, I remember it." He smiles involuntarily.

"But you, you didn't let me do as I pleased like you did these days, you know?" He strokes his back and shoulders.

"I was a thunderstorm, and you… you were a delicate prince. When I hugged you too much and dragged you around, you weren't annoyed. But if I left you alone, even to just go fetch something…" Thor kisses his temple again. "You curled un in a corner and the tears came, and with them, the ice came." Thor tries to kiss his face.

"It hurt seeing you like that, you know? You looked so sad and alone…" he gently grabs his chin to kiss his mouth. "You stopped doing that once you grew up, or so I thought." Another sweet kiss.

"You just stopped doing it where others could see. And I selfishily thought you didn't need me anymore." He trails his lips over the tears.

"And one day… something happened. It tore us apart… or, probably, I let it tear me apart from you. Forgive me, Loki. I was afraid of what I could do to you."

He knows he has to explain, and he hopes Loki will understand.

"It was such a beautiful day. I wanted to go hunting, but everyone seemed to be too busy. So I came to you, and dragged you from the palace to the stables. You probably don't even remember…" Thor sighs. And Loki does remember. Nothing was ever the same after that day, and maybe, he'll finally understand why exactly.

"We spent the day following trails, or at least I did, you just tagged along glaring at me. And then, we reached the shore." Thor starts playing with Loki's hair.

"You forced me to tag along, this time. You were still a child, and you laughed and soaked me head to toe before I could even step into the water." Thor took a deep breath.

"We were naked. Playing, I grabbed you from behind and pressed you against a rock." He falls silent, ashamed of his thoughts and actions.

"My body was full grown while yours was still unripe. I reacted immediately to that position, and I wanted you, a desire so strong it took my breath away. And you were under me, fragile, pure. Laughing and wriggling." Thor's voice fades.

"I thought, I could have done whatever I wanted to you, and you wouldn't have been able to put up a fight." He clenches his fists, and Loki winces a little.

"And then, a keeper came. From that day on, I couldn't stop thinking about what I wanted to do to you. I looked at you and thought about your body pressed against mine." Thor starts crying.

"I was selfish and cruel. I only thought about myself. I kept you at arm's lenght. Because if you were close, I had to face my feelings. And if at the beginning I thought it was all about carnal desire, which I could obtusely blame, I soon realized it was something different… something more."

He lowers his head to gauge Loki's reaction so far, but his love doesn't seem to comprehend.

"I already loved you, Loki, and I kept loving you all these years. Hurting myself, and you." Thor feels defeated, trampled.

"I rejected you, because I couldn't pretend not loving you. I can't pretend I don't want you with all the force of my entire being. Every time you were too close, I fled. It broke my heart to only be able to see you from afar. If only I knew how much pain I was causing you… No, maybe nothing would have changed. I was too much of a coward, egoist and stupid."

Thor's tired.

"Hurt me, Loki. I deserve it. For everything I did to you. For every time I threw you away, hurt me, Loki. For every time you felt betrayed, and I left you alone, forgotten in the ice. Hurt me, my wondrous love, for every time I didn't save you."

He really wishes Loki would seriously hurt him, beat him, scream at him, draw blood. But the brunet just keeps staring at him, still as a statue.

Thor feels dread creeping up his spine. Did he make another mistake, in telling everything? They remain quiet, studying one another for who knows how long.

Then Loki lowers his eyes, on Thor's neck, his shoulders and torso. He places a hand on his strong chest, over his heart, feels it beating madly. Does Thor really love him? A stupid question really, after everything he's heard. But he still asks it to himself. Hurt him…

He wants to, has wanted to since the first time his Sun asked for it. But then Thor has repeated it over and over, and Loki feels the need to console him, forgive him. And forgive himself. He'd felt guilt and shame for being left alone but he'd never dared ask for explanations. Selfish and a coward like Thor, he'd always remained silent and prideful.

"If" he whispers "you leave me again. If you turn your back on me, going away. If you throw me away…" He lifts his gaze to look him directly in the eyes.

"I'll tear your heart from your chest, and then I'll do the same with mine." That's what he'll do. What he sees himself doing if his Sun dares leave him again. He doesn't want to lose him.

"And I would let you. I love you, Loki, and now that I've started, I'll never stop telling you."

Loki smiles, finally. "I love you, Thor."

They spend the morning in bed. Nobody comes to disturb them, and they remain in the little bubble made of kisses, strokes and tears. Often, Loki starts crying, he still hasn't fully realized it's all real. When it happens, Thor smiles, while his heart bleeds. It's his fault if Loki cries. He didn't protect him and he made him suffer. And now, he's trying to make him laugh for more than a few seconds, but it's difficult. It's as if joy and despair are indissolubly tied for the trickster god, and Thor is at a loss, he doesn't want his love to cry any more. He kisses him, sweetly, he's sure Loki needs sweetness right now. He struggles to keep the kiss light, even if he can feel desire start to make his blood boil. He wants more. He wants to possess that body, but not now, not like this. Not when Loki is teethering on the edge, swaying from light to darkness, back and forth.

He appeals to all of his self control to not just push him under his own, strong body.

But Loki notices immediately. "Do you want me, Thor?"

"Yes, Loki, I do. But not now. Now I want to hold you close and make you feel good." Thor's voice wavers just a little. "I want to care for you, not for me."

He says it eagerly and it gains him a little, soft smile.

"Then hold me. That's all I ask for." Loki still feels tired and drained. His Sun embraces him and he tries to relax, sometimes he manages, sometimes he does not. Smiles and tears go hand in hand.

But it's still good for him. His heart heals a little more with every hug, every soft murmur, every I love you whispered after a sweet kiss.

"I'll be alright if I can keep you close." Loki has not fully healed yet, but he nkows that if Thor stays true to his word, things will be alright. For now, he's content with his heart being less pained.

Thor's kisses are sweet to him, because the blond knows what's best for him. His Sun quivers and struggles with desire, but he's not forcing him. He doesn't tell his brother he wants him too, maybe that night. For now, he wants Thor to keep sweetly kissing him, because those sweet kisses are for him. Because Thor keeps them sweet for him. Because he's putting Loki before himself.

Loki has not fully healed yet but he will soon, because now his Sun shines just for him.

End Notes:

Here's the last part of this story. Endless sweetness (at least in the end).

Thanks to those read and followed this little story. A hug and special thanks to everyone that left a comment (and made me happy)

Veleno

Translator's Note:

I'm personally in love with "Hurt me, my wondrous love, for every time I didn't save you". I'm very proud of how I rendered it, even thought Wondrous isn't quite the word for Magnifico, but it fit way better with everything and was more in tune with the general meaning and the effect the original sentence wanted to rouse. Because that's the problem with translating… some words just don't fit as well as they should and must be tragically replaced. I tried to focus on the emotional overload that was this story and shove it, in all its magnificent angst, on your face so you could sob and sigh a little too, like the three crybabies that were Loki, Thor and me. Yep.

It's been a pleasure to discover a new, promising fandom (…and ship! My fleet just keeps growing). I'm so going to have a marathon of all movies that feature Loki and Thor now.

Update after four months (this work was translated october 2017): I'm so in love with the character of Loki. From Siege to Young Avengers to Agent of Asgard and everything before and after! And, obviously, let's not forget the spectacular cinematic portrayal gifted to us by Tom Hiddleston!

I personally want to thank VelenoDolce for leading me to discover this incredible fandom.

G. L. Hollow