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Beta'd by the gorgeous Ami.

Written for Dramione Forever, for the Monthly One Shot, using SiriusMarlene, romance/Angst, Voldemort Wins.

To Dream Of You

Dear Sirius,

How are things going at base-camp? All's quiet here at the moment, thankfully, but it won't take long before my brothers start fighting and my parents start tearing their hair out in frustration.

I wish I could be there with you, helping to fight, but…

They're my family. What else can I do but stay to protect them?

How's Lily and James? And Remus? Tell me about everyone, give me something nice to think about whilst I miss you all.

I love you, Sirius. Keep yourself safe, okay? Don't do anything reckless.

Marlene

xxx

Marly,

I miss you.

Things are… hard. The resistance is… well, at this point I'm not even sure we've got a resistance, though, of course, we won't stop trying. His Lordship seems to be getting stronger by the day — and people are joining him more and more out of fear.

James and Lily send their love, and I'm sure you know by now (Lily said she was writing to you a couple of days ago. If you get this letter first, please don't tell her I ruined her news. You know how scary an angry Lily can be), but Lily is pregnant.

James is already dead set on the baby being a little girl with "my lily flower's eyes and hair." He's so sickening, isn't he?

They all send their love anyway, though Remus isn't here very much at the moment. Dumbledore has sent him out to the Were's again. I understand why he's the best person to try and bring some of them to our side, but I hate to think of him out there on his own, in danger.

He's our friend, we should be with him, you know?

Where are you? If you send me the address I can try and visit? I know I wouldn't be able to stay but I miss having you in my arms. I just want a cuddle and to forget for half an hour that we're fighting a losing war.

Keep your chin up, babe, (Lily taught me that, by the way. She's killing her boredom by teaching us about Muggle phrases.)

I love you.

Sirius.

xxx

How many times have I told you not to call me Marly? It sounds like a bloody dog!

How is everyone coping? I hate being so out of the loop, and being so far away. I don't know what I could do to help but I should at least be there with you. I heard about the raid, on the underground radio - were you there?

Remus is strong, Sirius, he'll get through it. Honestly, I think Dumbledore is as exhausted and as stressed as everyone else, he just hides it better. He might be a genius, but he's human.

The cracks are starting to show here. My mum is praying almost continuously — she was always religious, but she is taking it much further than she ever has before. Dad is drinking a lot. I've tried to keep him from it, but he always manages to find it eventually.

You know I can't send the address via post. What if it gets intercepted? I can't put my family in danger like that, Sirius, nevermind that the cuddle you're talking about sounds like heaven.

Tell me something fun — I could use a laugh.

I love you,

Marlene

xxx

Marls,

We lost Fabian, Gideon, and Benjy. I'm sorry you have to read that — they went out fighting and they took down plenty with them. I know that doesn't make anything better, but it's all I have.

Alice is pregnant as well by the way. Her and Lily are sitting around the base, comparing knitting patterns and trying their hardest to keep morale up.

I hate to think of the world they'll be bringing their babies into. Am I wrong to think they're being selfish?

Ignore me, Marlene. I'm… losing faith. I need you, but I understand why you're not here and why I can't come to you.

One day, Marlene, I'll be able to hold you in my arms and kiss you goodnight. One day, I'll be able to get down on one knee with a ring and ask you to marry me. One day, when the sun is shining and there's no more fear, I'll wait for you at the end of an aisle, watching you walk towards me, a vision in white.

That's my dream, Marlene. It's what's keeping me alive.

Perhaps… one day.

I miss you. I worry about you.

I love you.

Sirius.

xxx

Sirius,

I'm sorry I'm not there, Sirius. I should be there. I'm sorry this parchment is messy, tears fall at the most inappropriate of times, I'm afraid, but I have a limited supply.

We share a dream, you know. I want to be in your arms, I want that ring and I want to walk down the aisle to you. I want you in a tux, looking your gorgeous charming self; I want your eyes sparkling with mischief, and I want the smile that can light up a room.

I understand why you think Alice and Lily are selfish, but I understand them. They're scared, Sirius, and their husbands are going out to fight. Is it really selfish to want to carry a piece of their husbands with them, just in case the worst should happen?

The muggleborn home attacks are on the up. I strengthened the wards around the house, but I'm trying not to leave too much of a residue on the outside — it would only alert the DE to my whereabouts that little bit quicker. We're still safe though, so please don't worry about me.

You don't need the added stress.

I miss you too, Sirius.

I love you.

Marlene.

xxx

I heard about the attacks. Tell me you're alright.

xxx

Marlene, please.

xxx

So I don't know why I'm writing this. I've just left what's left of your house, and…

I'm sorry, Marlene. I'm sorry we didn't fight harder to stop Voldemort from winning. I'm sorry we didn't protect you better.

Most of all, I'm sorry that I can't make our dream come true.

It's over, you know? Voldemort raided the base. Dumbledore is gone… James and Lily, Frank and Alice, Remus. Everyone is gone.

I only escaped because Lucius Malfoy is a tosser who is more show than substance. I think the others got the better end of the deal, because what the fuck am I supposed to do now?

Everyone is dead. The resistance is dead.

You're….

So I'll keep on writing to you until I join you, because you're the only constant I have and I need that. I need you.

xxx

It's been three hours.

xxx

It's been a day.

xxx

Marlene, I miss you. Will you be there when I die? Will you come and collect me? Please? I regret that I never managed to hold you one last time.

xxx

It's been three days and I've been found twice. How many times can I escape when I'm not even trying to survive?

xxx

… A wandering Muggle found a body laid out by a river bank, bloody and battered, with a bunch of parchment gripped tightly in hand. Scraps of a leather jacket were scattered around him.

Written for;

WC, Book Club - Astrid Ellison: (word) genius, (word) religious, (emotion) regret

Buttons - Marlene

Showtime - 4. Sincerely, Me - (style) Letter fic

Stickers - Object collection - Quill - Write a letter fic

Insane House Challenge - 949. (Style) Letters

Writing month WC - 1219

Dragon Appreciation WC - 1219