Hi everyone. Firstly, I want to say thank you for taking an interest in my new story, I hope you like it. Secondly, I really like Halstead and Upton as a partnership and enjoy their scenes together. I don't ship them as a romantic couple but I wanted her to have a big part in this story. I hope the way I've chosen to do that works for everyone. If you like, you can read my one-shot 'Bourbon and Friendship' first, but it's not necessary. Thirdly, not all the Intelligence unit that we know and love will appear in this story. Please forgive me? Finally, if you have any feedback I would really appreciate it. Characters aren't mine, I just had an idea and ran with it.

That's quite enough disclaimer. Happy reading!

A SECOND CHANCE AT HAPPINESS

Chapter 1

Halstead knocked on the door of his sergeant's office at 8am sharp on Monday morning with the doctor's envelope clutched in his hands to begin the most excruciating 5 minutes of his week.

"Come in."

Antonio Dawson looked up from the case report he was scanning and smiled sheepishly when he saw it was Jay. He closed the file and put it back on the ever-growing pile on the corner of his desk. "Have a seat."

Jay sat down on the other side of the desk feeling like a naughty kid who had been sent to the Principal's office. He handed the envelope over and folded his arms awkwardly. He couldn't look at Antonio's face as he scanned the contents of the letter, even though he knew there was nothing incriminating on the tox report. To go through this humiliation every Monday morning with the man who was not only his boss but one of his best friends was unbearable but necessary.

"Alright" Antonio said when he had finished. He was upbeat as he folded the single sheet back up again and put it in his desk drawer. "I'm sorry man, I wish we didn't have to go through this. It's not me, it's the powers higher up, they insisted on weekly drugs tests until they're satisfied you…"

"I know." Jay cut him off. "I'm sorry. Thank you."

"Six more weeks" Antonio offered with a smile. "That's all. Are you still going to your NA meetings?"

Jay nodded. "3 months sober" he said.

"That's great. And how is everything else?"

Jay shrugged and shifted position in his seat. "Well, my marriage is still over. But I've not been fired yet and I still have a place to live so I'm choosing to look on the bright side."

"Everything will work out" Dawson offered, but he didn't really expect Halstead to believe his words. He saw the sceptical look on his colleague's face. "Hailey might not take you back, but everything will be okay. One way or the other." Antonio was thinking of his own failed marriage. He remembered how it felt, to see the life you thought you were going to have slip away from you, but he had found love again and had a new family so felt he could say with some authority that things happen for a reason.

Jay nodded. He didn't really believe that what Antonio was saying would apply to him but nodded anyway. "Can I go?" he asked. He was desperate to get out of there.

"Of course. Have you finished your report from the stash house case?"

"Almost" Halstead said, relieved to be back on the topic of work. "I'll have it on your desk by lunch time."

He left the office, closing the door behind him and made his way to the break room for his third cup of coffee of the day. He watched the pot brew thinking vaguely that he should probably cut down on his caffeine intake, that was probably part of the reason he was having such trouble sleeping. Replacing one addiction with another was not exactly the best life choice he could make, but he needed something. His shoulder throbbed, but he was so used to it now he couldn't remember a time when it didn't hurt. But whether the pain was physical or just in his head he didn't know anymore. Every second of every day he wanted to swallow and handful of pain pills to make it go away, but if he wanted to keep his job, that couldn't happen.

"Good morning."

The quiet greeting brought Jay back out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Upton walking slowly into the room towards him.

"Morning."

"Is there coffee?"

"Almost."

He hated this, the awkward small talk. Everything used to be so easy between them. His aching shoulder was a bitter reminder of the moment everything changed and his marriage started to unravel. It was his fault, he pulled away when he didn't want to admit he had a problem and it had cost him deeply. Seeing Hailey every day simultaneously gave him life and twisted his insides into a tangled knot. They had separated nearly ten months ago but Jay was not ready to let go.

She was standing beside him now reaching into the cupboard for a mug. His gazed lingered on her. The fact she was so close and he couldn't touch her killed him.

"I heard Atwater's CI gave him a tip off about a major drug shipment last night." Upton made small talk, oblivious to the fact Jay was watching her. When she retrieved her mug and looked at Halstead and the look of longing on his face she sighed. "Jay, what are you doing?"

He didn't have anything to say. He just smiled sadly.

Jay wasn't the only one hurting, and the look he gave her brought tears to Hailey's eyes. It was so complicated. The situation and their feelings. Because there were still feelings there, not of anger but of love. It would almost be easier if there weren't. "Are you looking after yourself?" she asked. "Going to meetings?"

"Yes. I am. I'm going to beat this Hailey, I will."

"I know." Upton reached out to squeeze Halstead's arm but thought better of it. Her hand paused mid-air and she retracted it slowly.

They heard voices from the main office and were thankful for the excuse to break the moment. The coffee was made and Jay poured out two mugs, adding one single sweetener and no milk to hers, just the way he knew she liked it.

A phone rang and Danny answered it just as they walked by his desk. He raised a hand in greeting as he lifted the receiver, and a familiar look of concentration settle on his face as he answered. "This is Detective Daniel McDonald…"

Kevin was standing in front of the evidence board furiously scribbling names down with a black marker pen, and the two younger officers in the unit sat causally around the same desk, the remnants of their breakfast in a pile between them.

Jay settled down at his own desk waiting for the briefing to start and tried to gather the energy for another days work. Dawson emerged from his office as Danny hung up the phone and everyone snapped to attention. "Morning everyone" he said, striding to the front of the room all business. "Atwater, what have we got?"

Atwater briefed the team on the intel he had from his source. Jay was listening, but he was also looking at Hailey where she was perched on the edge of a desk biting the sleeve of her sweater. Once upon a time Halstead had teased her about it, but he found it endearing. Usually the typical no-nonsense Chicago cop, he told her it was cute and she'd hit him playfully, laughing. That was a lifetime ago, but the memories were still there.

Kevin finished and handed over to Dawson to give assignments. "Ok, Atwater, take Lincoln and go and see if your CI has any more information we can use."

Officer Eve Lincoln, a petite brunette who was a lot tougher than she looked, threw her bagel wrapper in the trash can and grabbed her coat.

"Upton and Grant, head to the bar across from the garage and see if they have any surveillance cameras that might have caught something."

Upton nodded and drained her mug. She was half-way to the top of the stairs when she stopped and turned to the most junior member of the unit who was busy fussing with his boot laces. "Callum" she said sharply, and the young blonde officer, always eager to please, or rather to not piss anyone off, jumped to attention and followed her down the stairs.

"Halstead, you're will me. I've got a contact of my own who I have a feeling might know something about this."

The phone rang again and Danny sighed loudly. "Am I the office secretary now?" He ran his hand through his thick, greying hair and picked up the receiver. "Mac" was all the caller got this time in gruff voice by way of a greeting.

Jay zipped up his jacket, ready to brave the January Chicago air.

"Sarge, that was the front desk. There's someone here from social services for Halstead." Danny said something else into the phone and hung up.

Jay's brow furrowed momentarily, but he reasoned that this was probably something to do with his last case and was not unduly worried. The couple they'd arrested had a two year old boy who had been taken into emergency custody while the authorities tracked down a family member.

"Alright" Antonio said. "Danny, you can come with me. Halstead, I'll fill you in when we get back."

Jay was left alone in the office and he unzipped his jacket again, slinging it over the back of his chair. He heard the buzz of the security door as the last of his colleagues left the office, and then the soft clip of high heeled shoes as one person ascended the stairs.

"Hi Diane" Jay greeted the social worker as she emerged into the room. "There's fresh coffee."

"Morning" Dianne said. "That would be great." She sounded sheepish, a far cry from her usual confident manner.

"Is this about the same case we spoke about on Friday?"

"No."

Jay lead the way into the break room and busied himself pouring her a mug of coffee. The chair legs scraped across the linoleum as Diane sat down at the table. When Halstead turned back from the counter, he was struck by the serious look on her face.

"What's the matter?" He asked, but he was still not overly concerned. He was used to bureaucracy delaying documents he had requested for his case file and was prepared for this news, but Diane paused for too long that he knew that this was something else.

"Detective Halstead, you should sit down." Jay obeyed, a funny feeling rising in his stomach. "I'm not here about that case. I'm not here about any case in fact. This visit is personal."

She reached into her handbag for a brown manila envelope and placed it on the table in front of her. "There's no easy way to break this news. It will be a shock so I want you to prepare yourself."

Jay gulped. When someone said words like that to you, how were you supposed to react? He didn't say a word, just watched the woman sat opposite him expectantly, waiting for her to continue. "Do you know the name Camila Vega?"

Jay's stomach dropped. He hadn't heard that name in ten years and never thought he would hear it again. He nodded. "Yeah, I knew her."

The social worker nodded. "Miss Vega died two weeks ago from stomach cancer. She left a letter for you in her will." Diane took a white envelope from the larger brown one but didn't hand it to Jay just yet. Jay eyed the innocent looking piece of paper and wondered why it was a social worker and not a lawyer bringing him this, not to mention why it was his at all.

"What's this got to do with me?" Halstead asked. He sounded more defensive than he meant to. He was sorry for Camila's passing, but that period in his life was one he would rather forget.

"I'm told the letter explains everything in detail" she said. "You should read it when you're alone. Miss Vega left a daughter behind. Her name is Mariella and she's 9 years old."

A tight feeling gripped Jay's chest and his brain started firing thoughts at him more rapidly than he could process them. Was she telling him what he thought she was?

"Her lawyer produced a signed testimony from her written a week before her death that states you are Mariella's father and she wished, upon her death, for you to take custody of her."

This was too much, Jay pushed his chair away from the table and stood up without really knowing what he was doing.

Diane watched him. "I take it from your reaction that you had no idea that this child existed?"

Jay began pacing the room, adrenaline pumping through his body. "None at all" he said in a panicked voice. "Why didn't Camila tell me?"

Diane wasn't able to answer that question and Jay knew it. He stopped. "When's her birthday?"

Diane pulled from papers from the envelope and consulted her documents. "September 2nd 2018" she replied.

Jay just shook his head in disbelief, realising quickly that the dates added up.

Cautiously, the social worker watched Halstead and his reaction and after a while calmly suggested he sit back down. He did so, but couldn't relax. "Where is she now?" Jay asked.

"Phoenix, Arizona. She's currently staying with Miss Vega's aunt, Mrs Maria Vega, the wife of her paternal uncle. She has agreed to abide by her niece's wishes for Mariella under a few conditions." Diane slid a slip of paper across the table to Jay. "She passed on her number. She wants to talk to you to make arrangements." She was all business, as Jay was used to from working with the woman in the past. He usually found her efficiency reassuring but right now it was somewhat off-putting. Diane ordered her documents and looked up at Jay. "Here's a copy of the birth certificate, the letter addressed to you, and my card. Take some time, it's a lot to process. Give me a call when you're ready and we will go from there."

"What happens now?" Jay recovered his wits sufficiently to realise there were practical questions he should be asking. He felt strangely as though he was asking on behalf of someone else. It didn't feel as if any of this applied to him.

"That's really up to you. If you feel this isn't something you can do, Mrs Vega is happy to keep custody of Mariella. If you decide you want to pursue this…"

"No" Jay said quickly, but then back tracked. "I mean, of course I want to."

"Ok. Good. I'll leave you to wrap your head around this, I know it's a shock. I mean it when I say call me any time if you have questions and I'll contact you again in a few days."

Jay sat numbly staring at the array of documents on the formica table in front of him and barely registered movement when the social worker closed her bag and stood up. Walking past Jay on her way to the door, she paused behind his chair and placed a hand on his shoulder in sympathy before continuing on her way.

She was almost out the door when Jay called to her. "Do you have a photo?"

She turned back and smiled. "In the envelope."

When he was alone again, Jay sat motionless. He lost track of time and struggled to believe that what had just happened wasn't all some weird dream. His hands shaking, he reached for the crisp white envelope and opened the flap. He pulled out the letter, laying it aside. He'd read it properly soon, but right now all he wanted was…

The photo fell out and landed face down. 'Mariella Luisa Vega, 9th birthday party, Aug 31' was written in blue biro on the back of the photo. He picked it up and turned it over slowly.

Jay gasped. He felt like he had been punched in the gut, and every emotion conceivable flashed through his mind making his head spin. A beautiful little girl I a red polka dot dress and a flower in her hair stared out at him from the photograph. She had long glossy hair and light olive skin, and big brown eyes that were her mothers. She was smiling at whoever was behind the camera, and Jay couldn't help but smile too. He realised in that moment that he was crying.

This was his daughter.

Still clutching the photograph, he picked up the folded sheets of paper and began reading the neat slanted handwriting before him.

Dear Jay,

It still feels strange calling you that, even if it's only in my mind. I will always remember you as Ryan, the sweet messed up guy who was there for me when I needed someone the most. I will always be grateful to you for what you did for me after Luis died, and whatever happened later, I truly believe we were meant to meet and share those weeks together.

I've spent a lot of time in the years since trying to understand why you got in so deep with me and risk your career and I can't figure it out. I choose to believe it was because you really did love me, I've held on to that hope in the toughest moments of my life bringing up my daughter. Our daughter. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her. I told myself it was impossible, your partner only told me your first name, and by the time I found out I was pregnant I was already in Arizona. But that's a lie, I could have tried harder, I know I could have, but petty pride and fear of rejection prevented me. I found your last name by chance, I saw an article online about a Chicago cop who had saved 17 hostages and got shot in the process and saw your picture next to the headline. My heart rose and for the first time in a very long time I felt hope.

By that point I knew I was sick. When the doctors told me there was nothing more they could do, I made a decision. I told my aunt everything, about how we met and why I left Chicago, and made her swear on all her saints that she would find you and give Mariella to you if you agreed. When you meet Aunt Marie be prepared, she'll probably give you a tough time and is going to want some answers, but it's only because she loves Mariella and wants the best for her when I'm gone.

Let me tell you about my beautiful, sweet girl. She loves nature and hates been cooped up indoors. She'd rather play with a soccer ball than a doll's house, but loves to dress up as much as the next girl. She's allergic to fish and will eat Oreos all day long if you let her. Her favourite colour is green. There is more passion in her little finger than I've seen in anyone else I've ever met. The rest I will let you figure out for yourself. And believe me, when you do you will be just as in awe of her as I have been every single day since she was born.

I hope you will open your heart to our little girl like you opened your heart to me. Let me tell you something I wish someone had told me. Being a parent isn't easy, this isn't news to anyone, but as long as you love your child and keep them safe your best is good enough. I know you'll take care of her, I have faith in you. I saw something in you the first time you walked into my bar; kindness. I hope life has been good to you, I hope you have found someone to love and who loves you back. Maybe you even have other children by now. But if you let Mariella into your life you won't have any regrets. She has been a ray of sunshine in my otherwise gloomy life and I can't even imagine what my life would have become if I didn't have her to live for each day.

I hope you can forgive me for all I've done, for not making you part of Mariella's life until now and dropping this bombshell on you when I'm no longer around to deal with the fallout. Please talk to Aunt Marie. Learn about who I really was, if only so you can tell Mariella about me as she grows up. I will love her with all my heart until my last breath, and then it will be up to you. I know this is a lot to ask. I trust you will do what is right.

Camila

When Jay reached the bottom of the letter he could barely read the words through his tears. He dropped the paper on the table. He put his face in his hands and the tears that were clouding his eyes slid down his cheeks and onto the table top.

If Camila knew what a mess his life was, would she have written this letter? Would she have entrusted her little girl to him? Did he have it in him to be a father? He didn't have the answers to any of these questions, but knew he owed it to himself, not to mention Camila and above all Mariella to try. He had never met this girl but already he felt a responsibility to her. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he let this poor vulnerable girl who had just lost her mother grow up thinking he didn't want her.

Jay didn't hear Upton and Grant return, didn't realise he was no longer alone until he felt one warm hand grip his shoulder firmly and another lift his chin.

The look on Hailey's face was one of shock and concern. "What's wrong?" she asked urgently, searching his face for clues. "What's happened?"

Jay opened his mouth to say something but no sound came out apart from a small breathy sob. Hailey sat down in the chair beside him and lay her hand on top of his. She slowly reached first for the crinkled pages and then for the photograph, looking at Jay for permission as she did so. She expected him to snatch up the papers and run from the room but he seemed unable to move or even focus. His eyes met hers but he made no attempt to stop her taking hold of the letter.

Maybe it was better this way. Too much harm had been done already by people keeping secrets.

Jay leant back in the chair and closed his eyes. Hailey began reading.