I Solemnly Swear that I am Up to No Good

Day Two

"So, what do you guys think?" Peter asked. He had his hands deep in his pocket, and his eyes trained on the ground where his shoe was kicking a small pebble as he walked down the corridor.

Sirius took a drag from the cigarette in his hand, and slowly exhaled, "about Lupin claiming that it was to protect his cousin?" Peter nodded, his eyes still trained on the pebble as it skidded across the floor. "I believe it."

"Really?" James and Peter asked; their voices tinged with disbelief.

Sirius shrugged his shoulders and threw his used cigarette on the ground, "yeah. I mean, it's not exactly a huge loss to society either way is it? It was Fenrir Grayback he killed. That guy has been terrorizing families for decades and infecting their children with the werewolf virus. He got what he deserved, and I completely buy Lupin's statement about it being self-defense." Sirius ran a hand through his hair, and shook his head, allowing locks of hair to fall into his eyes. "The poor guy's cousin probably ticked Grayback off."

"So," James asked casually, "do you think he was fucking Grayback in return for not turning him into a blood thirsty being, and he didn't wanna fuck Grayback anymore, so to not be turned he killed Grayback?"

Sirius shook his head, and shoved his hands into his front pockets, "his cousin maybe. Lupin seems too classy for that."

"Says the one who wants to screw him into the nearest mattress," Peter teased. He ducked as Sirius playfully made to slap him over the head. "So, neither of you think he is dangerous then?"

"Hmm," Sirius considered, his head cocking to the side as he thought. "Well, on the Richter Scale of Danger, he may be a bit up there." He paused for a moment considering the boy they were speaking of, and then shrugged his shoulders. "On the Richter Scale of things that are dangerous, he may be pretty up there, but he is here and not in Azkaban for a reason. Besides, Dumbledore would never allow someone here if he truly felt they couldn't be reformed or were too much of a danger to anyone here."

"Perhaps," agreed a voice from beside his left shoulder, "but you should have seen him last night. He was acting pretty weird, most of the Slytherin's are actually afraid to go near him." Sirius turned to see his younger brother beside him, smiling vibrantly at the group.

"How long have you been walking beside me?" Sirius asked curiously as he wrapped an arm tightly around his brother's shoulders. "And what do you mean the Slytherin's are afraid of him? Not that that is a bad thing mind you."

Regulus shrugged and leaned closer to his brother as they walked. "Everyone is afraid he will kill them in their sleep. It didn't help that he was pacing in front of the common room fire all evening. Some were even saying they were afraid to sleep because he was going to torture them."

Sirius blinked, "that sounds fun actually."

Regulus rolled his eyes and elbowed his brother in the ribs, "you know that isn't what I meant, Siri."

"Perhaps not, but have you seen him? That would be fucking hot."

"Anyway," James said breaking up the talk between the two brothers. "Are we doing the thing tonight or what?"

Peter blew his bangs out of his face, "yeah. I have it all ready. All we need is for someone to get Remus to the Room of Requirement tonight. Say about eleven?" He smiled up at Sirius, "think you could handle that?"

Sirius waved off his brother when a group of his friends passed, "we'll see you later, Regulus." He took out a cigarette and placed it between his lips as he searched for a lighter. "That shan't be too difficult."

Silence fell over the small group as they walked through the corridors. The only thing breaking the quiet was the sound of thunder from outside the windows. Peter paused as the bell signaling three o'clock rang, and he nodded his head towards Gryffindor Tower. "I have to go; my family is meeting me in our dormitory in about five minutes." He pulled away from his friends and shot them a smile over his shoulder, "remember, eleven, Sirius!" He made his way down the hall as James and Sirius muttered their goodbyes and walked the opposite way towards the kitchens.

o0o

Remus sighed tiredly, his feet dragging across the wet grass; rain pounded over his head causing his hair to stick to his face and mud to stick to his shoes. He felt sleep trying to overcome his brain but forced himself to keep on moving through the grounds. The last thing he wanted was to sleep in the Slytherin Dormitory.

Remus, who was almost a deathly pale on the best of days, was even paler than usual, his complexion almost transparent. Purple almost bruise like rings dyed the skin under his eyes, and the way he was leaning into himself made him look smaller than he actually was.

Slowly, the grass beneath his feet began to turn into stone and he found himself standing in front of the castle. In the darkness of night with only the moon and lightning highlighting the castle, it looked almost ominous. The sounds of howling and scream like noises coming from the Forbidden Forrest only deepened the imagery.

He pulled his cloak closer to his lithe body and put his head down against the harsh wind and pricking rain as he slowly made his decent up the slippery stone steps. The clock hundreds of feet above his head rang, signaling the 7 o'clock hour.

Remus shuddered, and stepped in front of the castle door. He waited there for what seemed like hours before it finally opened. He gave a sigh of relief as warmth filled his body from head to toe, and the numb coldness that came from the outside felt like it was lifted from his body.

Remus took a left and made his way down to the dungeons ignoring the stares of his peers as he passed by them leaving a trail of water in his wake. He allowed his mind to wander to his first day at Hogwarts, as he walked down the numerous steps to his common room.

"Is it true what Siri said?" Remus looked up to see a boy with black curly hair and wide innocent gray eyes staring at him. The boy was leaning on the back of the couch with his arms crossed and his chin leaning upon them as he looked at the boy lying in front of him.

"It depends on what your brother said I suppose," Remus replied coolly. He smiled at the boy and moved so that his head rested more comfortably on the arm rest of the couch. One leg he had stretched out over the other arm rest, where the other he had bent, with his knee pointed towards the ceiling. The book he had been reading lay dormant on his chest.

"That you killed Fenrir Grayback and claimed it was to protect your cousin." There was a mocking tone in the boy's voice that caused Remus' eyes to darken just slightly. Regulus blinked, and as soon as it appeared the darkness seemed to have vanish, leaving calm amber in its place. "I am not judging you, I swear. Just self defense seems a bit… off."

Regulus backed away from the couch as he saw Remus close his eyes. The sandy haired boy removed his reading glasses and seemed to be taking calming breaths before he opened them to stare into the other boy's eyes. "I am going to say this as nicely as I possibly can. You have no idea what went on between Grayback and myself, you have no idea the extent of the awful things that man has done. The stuff you see in the Daily Prophet about him all the time? That is nothing, nothing compared to the true extent of what he has done. I doubt even one percent of his crimes are reported. Most are too disgusting and disturbing to post to the general public.

"So please, Regulus. Do yourself and everyone else a favor and keep your mouth shut." Remus, whose face had turned into somewhat of a sneer during his speech, went back to its normal calm nature as he picked up his book again. "And for your information it really was self-defense."

Regulus blinked again, and folded his arms across his chest, almost as if to shield himself from the other boy, "I really am not judging you." He whispered softly. When he didn't get a response from the other boy he turned heel and made his way back to his dormitory, his robes flying behind him as he ran up the stone steps.

Remus kept his eyes glued to his page until he heard the door to one of the dormitory's upstairs open and close. He sighed and placed his book back on his chest his eyes closing against the dull light of the common room.

Blood, screaming, crying, begging, the sounds of something being hit over and over again, the sound of a wand falling onto the concrete floor- images upon violent images passed across Remus' closed eyes and it took all his strength not to run to the nearest bathroom and empty out the contents of his stomach. His breath came out in shuttering bursts as he tried to calm his body from reacting to the images; he refused to lose the battle this time around. He was stronger than that.

After thirty minutes of lying on the couch however, Remus realized that the images refused to leave him, and so he stood, throwing his book to the ground in a fit of anger. He proceeded to pace in front of the fire, the willowy flames illuminating his sharp features and made him look sinister. And he heard the whispers, how could he not? Remus couldn't help but smirk just a little bit, and think of how he could make every one of those whisperings come true, but he shook his mind clear of those less than innocent thoughts and focused on clearing his mind. Thunder sounded in the background and a flash of lightning brightened the sky, while a scream carried out from the forest. It was going to be a long night, and sleep, sleep would not be coming to him.

Remus looked up and saw that standing in front of the Slytherin portrait hole. Everyone in the common room had grown quiet and was watching him with guarded, almost frightened expressions. He stared back dully at them before turning his heel and heading back up the way he came. Perhaps he would get a snack from the kitchens and see if there was anything good that he could take from the Library. One thing was for certain, he would not be returning to the Slytherin Dormitory that evening.

o0o

Sirius slowly walked down the stairs of the Entrance Hall and made a left into the Great Hall. The doors to The Great Hall opened, and he was met with endless chatter and squealing giggles. He stopped short and blinked as a group of girls surrounded him. "Erm, hello?"

"Hi, Sirius," the blonde girl to his left said as she fluttered her eyelashes at him.

A girl with curly black hair and large green eyes touched his chest and threw him a flirty smile. A red headed girl to his right copied her friend's movements, causing him to feel boxed in. "What can I do for you lovely ladies today?" He asked smoothly, winking at them and smiling charmingly.

"We were wondering if you would do us the pleasure of coming with us to Hogsmade next weekend?" asked the black-haired girl, the obvious leader of the pack. She took a step closer, and Sirius looked over her shoulder to his friends who had yet to notice his trepidation. He couldn't help but think that the Professor's decided to be blind to what was happening at the most importune of times, before he looked down at the girl and smiled.

"I am sorry my darlings, but I am afraid that I am quite busy next weekend. My brother REGULUS," he screamed his brother's name in order to get the boy's attention, "however, and his friends, might be able to keep you girls properly entertained in my absence."

Regulus who had been digging into his plate of food looked around at the calling of his name. He paused and rolled his eyes when he noticed his brother was surrounded by three girls from his year. "Excuse me, gentleman. I must rescue my brother once again from the clutches of the horniest girls at Hogwarts." Regulus' friends nodded absently, their minds concentrating on their food rather than what he had been saying. He stood and strode up to his brother, a polite smile plastered on his face. "Siri!"

The look of relief that passed Sirius' face would have been hilarious, if it wasn't just a little bit sad. "Girls, look! It's my darling younger brother Regulus!" Sirius pushed himself past the girls and all but hid behind Regulus, his arm going to wrap around the slightly smaller boy's shoulders. "Isn't he just gorgeous?"

The girls regarded Regulus with considering stares, and he shifted uncomfortably suddenly feeling the need to hide behind Sirius. The black-haired girl nodded, "why don't we go out with both of you?"

Sirius pressed his lips to his brother's head and whispered in his ear, "I am sorry. I so owe you for this."

Regulus opened his mouth to question just what it was Sirius owed him for when his elder brother pulled away from him, and sighed, rather unconvincingly. "Sorry girls, I don't share."

With that he turned and walked as quickly as he could towards his friends at the Gryffindor table. He bit his lip, only imagining what his poor younger brother's face must look like. He plopped down beside Peter and snuck a look over his shoulder to where his brother was standing with the three girls, his arms crossed over his chest, looking quite annoyed. Sirius would be in for it later that evening.

James sat on the opposite side of the table, cheek lying against his hand as he studied Lily Evans from afar as she joked around with her friends.

"You okay there, Sirius?" Peter asked curiously before taking a sip of his pumpkin juice.

Sirius grinned and motioned his head towards his brother whom was walking back to his seat at the Slytherin table. "Three girls cornered me, and Regulus got me out of it." Sirius stuck his tongue out at Regulus when the younger boy glared at him, "I swear I had begged my parents not to have another child, but this right here. This is why you have younger siblings." James and Peter raised their eyebrows at him, "oh," he said nodding his head. "And I guess they are pretty good for threesomes."

James and Peter closed their eyes and slammed their heads against the table. "You did not just say that." They moaned in unison before lifting their heads and shaking them at Sirius.

Sirius crossed his legs and took Peter's goblet in order to take a sip from his drink. "You know I'm only joking." His eyes brightened when a plate of doughnuts appeared before him. "Oh, yummy! They brought back doughnuts!" He took a chocolate one with vanilla frosting and groaned as the fluffy treat touched his tongue.

Peter placed his knife and fork down and waved his hand to vanish his dinner plate. A small dessert plate replaced the vanished plate and Peter took a strawberry doughnut along with a couple of cookies and placed them on his plate. "I am actually shocked we are seeing these again after the last time." James commented as he stole a cookie from Peter's plate and munched on it.

Sirius chuckled, "ah, yeah." He stole the last cookie that lay on Peter's plate and held it between his two fingers. "Those doughnuts chasing Snape down the hall as he screamed bloody murder like a five-year-old girl was brilliant."

"Let's not forget how they pelted him with sprinkles," James added lightly.

Peter shook his head, "we're going to hell."

Sirius and James shrugged their shoulders, "it's inevitable." They said in unison, "Might as well enjoy the ride."

Sirius locked eyes with his cousin's fiancé Rodolphus Lestrange, and nodded his head when the older boy made a movement with his eyes. Sirius turned away and met with the irritated looks of his best friends. "What?" He asked defensively and leaned back slightly on the bench.

James closed his eyes and shook his head, "nothing, Sirius." He took a doughnut from the plate in front of them and sighed as he took a bite from it.

Sirius looked to Peter who refused to make eye contact with him and instead stared down at the plate in front of him. After about five minutes of awkward silence Sirius stood from the table and ran a hand through his hair. "I have something to do, catch you later?" he asked.

He was met with noncommittal responses, and he rolled his eyes before walking over to the Slytherin table and kissing his brother on the back of his head. Regulus looked up at him and rose an eyebrow. His face showed that he was still annoyed with what happened. "Regulus, are you still coming tonight?" Sirius asked lowly, making sure only his brother could catch his words. It wasn't that Sirius didn't like Regulus' friends; it was just that he really didn't like them.

"And miss you torment the new kid?" Regulus asked dryly, still remembering his welcoming party that was thrown the year before, "never. It'll be a nice change of pace to see it happen to someone else."

Sirius rolled his eyes good naturedly at his brother, and gave him a hug, "great! I'll see you there at eleven then!"

"Later then, Sirius," Regulus called, throwing his head back to watch his brother walk from the Great Hall. He frowned, noticing that Rodolphus had stood from his seat and followed after his brother. He shook his head and sighed. He would have to speak to Sirius later.

o0o

Sirius gritted his teeth as he gripped the wall in front of him, his forehead scraping against the harsh stone as the man behind him moved unsteadily. As the man's thrusts became erratic, Sirius kicked his leg back and caused the man to fall away from him, onto the cold stone floor.

Sirius blinked before gracefully pushing off the wall, his shoulders rolling forward as he corrected his button-down shirt. He sighed, a hand coming up to wearily rub against his forehead as he leaned down to pull up his boxers and trousers from where they were bunched low on his thighs. He rolled his eyes as the man moaned pitiably on the floor and kicked him roughly in the shin. "I know I am the best lay you ever had, but can you just give me the stuff so I can go? I have a party to plan, and a boy to seduce." Sirius scrunched up his nose in disgust at the man rolling on the floor and tore his eyes away to quickly pull on his school robes. Tucking his shirt into his pants and buttoning them, he stood at the man's side and glared down at him.

"Now, Lestrange."

Rodolphus Lestrange leaned up and reached for his bag that had been thrown against the wall in his haste to get to Sirius earlier. He gripped the strap and pulled the bag towards him to root for a clear bag with white powder in it. "Here you go, one ounce."

Sirius snatched up the bag and leaned over to pick up his school bag which lay against the wall beside the opening of the alcove. He carefully placed the bag where it wouldn't be seen or crushed and locked his bag before slinging it over his shoulder. "Thanks, and not a word to that bitch cousin of mine. All I need is to be congratulated for this." Sirius closed his eyes and listened carefully for anyone who may be coming through the corridors. Upon hearing none, he reached out to pull the curtain back. He squinted, temporarily blinded from being in pitch black for over twenty minutes.

Lestrange bent down and collected his school robe, pulling it over his shoulders as he surveyed the boy. "Not that I mind, but Regulus told me you stopped." He lifted his wand, and the room was bathed in a gentle light from the tip of his wand.

Sirius dropped the curtain and turned to glare at him, his hands coming to the strap of his bag and gripping the rough material harshly. "Not a word," he voice was deathly, and so close to his father's that Lestrange had to blink a couple of times to make sure that it was the sixteen-year-old in front of him. They stared each other down before Sirius' hard-set frown turned into a cocky smirk. "Now if you excuse me, I have to be going."

"Sirius, wait!" Sirius paused, his hand gripping the curtain harder than necessary.

"What, Rodolphus?" the younger boy asked through gritted teeth.

Two arms wrapped tightly around his waist, and a forehead pressed against his shoulder blades. "You may have legally been disowned, but your dad asks about you, a lot. Most of us, we are worried about you, Sirius. What your mum did, putting you out like that, it's fucked up, and we are all pissed about it. We may all seem as if we hate you when we see you in the corridors, it's all an act, a show. Merely, the Black family having to keep up appearances and all that bunk."

Sirius threw his elbow back into Lestrange's stomach, and turned to glare at the elder boy when he doubled over and released him, "well that is all dandy then isn't it?" The signature Black sneer crossing his handsome face, "Fuck the Black Family, and their pity. You are all pathetic weaklings who hide behind your money and power, but when it comes to the important things you guys are the weakest, most pathetic beings on this entire planet."

With one last disgusted look at his cousin Sirius stormed from the alcove, the curtain heavily to the floor as he had pulled it too hard. As soon as he was down the corridor from the alcove, Sirius broke into a run. He didn't know who he was running to, or even where, all he knew was that he needed to get away. That was until he slammed head first into something small and slightly squishy.

"I missed you too, Mate. Mind getting off me now?" Sirius looked down to see Peter sprawled out beneath him looking winded. Sirius scrambled off him, falling back so that he was sitting on the stone floor beside where his friend lay.

"Sorry about that," Sirius apologized uncharacteristically.

Peter who was in the middle of wincing as he touched a tender spot on the back of his head, stopped to stare at his best friend in disbelief. "Did the infamous Sirius Black just apologize?" He blinked when he noticed the cloudiness in Sirius' eyes, "Sirius, are you okay? Do you need to talk? Should I call the Prophet?" Peter rose to his knees and gripped his friend's shoulders to shake him lightly.

Peter sucked in his breath as Sirius launched himself at him, his arms tightly wrapping around the smaller boy's neck as he began to sob into Peter's shoulder. Peter rose slightly higher on his knees to compensate for their height difference and awkwardly began to pet Sirius' back and give him small comforting hugs. "It's okay, Sirius. I'm here, just let it out." He whispered, his body beginning to sway to calm his friend's sobs.

After a while, when Peter's knees were beginning to feel numb from kneeling on the stone floor too long with almost twice the normal weight leaning on them, Sirius pulled back, a couple of sniffles escaping his nose. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. I… I don't cry."

Peter smiled awkwardly, and carefully pushed Sirius' bangs from his eyes. "You had me scared there, Mate. Perhaps a little warning next time," Peter winked, causing Sirius to give him a weak laugh and a tiny vulnerable smile.

"One word to James and you're dead," Sirius pathetically threatened, an elegant finger coming up to poke Peter in the nose, causing the younger boy to shake his head and scrunch up with nose.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Peter scrunched up his nose again, and Sirius couldn't help but think about how Peter looked exactly like a rodent. Perhaps a mouse or a baby rat. "Is this yours, Sirius?"

The curly haired boy blinked and looked at the small bag of white powder that lay in the palm of his friend's hand. Hastily, he grabbed the bag and shoved it back into his schoolbag, his eyes scanning the corridor around them to make sure no one was around them. "Yeah, well is there a reason you were up here?" Sirius snapped, suddenly going back to his normal self; remnants of the vulnerable that sat before Peter mere moments before completely gone save the tear tracks on his best friend's face.

"Yeah, my cousin brought you what you asked. I put it in your trunk," Peter answered cautiously as he scanned the face of the boy that kneeled before him.

"How many did he wind up bringing?" Sirius asked as he stood up from the floor and brushed himself off.

"One," Peter shrugged and stood up as well. "They had a sale and by the time he got there, that was all that was left."

Sirius blew his bangs from his eyes and fixed his bag more comfortably on his shoulder. "I'll make do, I suppose." The boys stood facing each other, suddenly feeling awkward, "thank you?"

Peter smiled softly and reached a hand to squeeze his shoulder, "good boy! You're learning manners!"

The black-haired boy let out a bark like laugh and pushed his friend away from him, "arse." The smaller boy squeaked and jumped away from Sirius causing him to roll his eyes good naturedly at his friend. "C'mon, we should get back to the commons."

"Can I ask you something?" Peter asked as he rushed to keep up with his friend's long strides.

"Always," Sirius answered, slowing down slightly so his friend didn't have to work so hard to keep up with him.

"I thought you were off cocaine."

"That is not a question, that is a statement," Sirius answered blandly, his hands going into his pockets.

Peter stopped to glare at his friend, "find then. Why are you back on cocaine, Sirius?" Sirius stayed quiet and walked away from him, his sneakers squeaking against the stone as he walked. "You said I could ask!" Peter called defensively as he began to jog towards his friend.

Sirius turned and threw him a cocky smile, "I said you could ask, never said I would answer you!"

Peter rolled his eyes, "whatever. Don't forget to bring Remus to the Room of Requirement at 11."

Sirius stopped causing his friend to slam into him. He stumbled forward, a dopey smile coming to cross his handsome face, "right."

Peter watched him wearily, "oh dear Merlin, you're already high, aren't you?" The statement fell upon deaf ears as Sirius began to walk again, seemingly lost in his own world.

The mousy boy shook his head and began to run after his friend. Somehow, he had a feeling this evening would end on an interesting note. Personally, he hoped that it wouldn't get too interesting.

o0o

Remus hummed to himself as he allowed his fingers to idly run across the faded backs of the thousands of books that lined the dusty shelves of the library. The scraping of chairs, and stifled chuckles could be heard from the other side of the Library, but he dismissed it as unimportant and went back to his search.

He clucked his tongue in annoyance, as he finished another shelf and noticed that again, he had read almost every book that lined the bookcase. A yawn left him as he turned and went to start on the bookcase behind him when a gate with a lock on it caught his eye. Remus walked up to it and placed his hand on the handle and pressed his face into the gates bars, his eyes straining to see what was inside the dark aisle. His eyes, stronger than the normal humans, were able to make out several of the titles that lined the shelves, and his mood brightened considerably when he noticed that none of the books were ones he has read.

"That's the Restricted Section," drawled a voice from behind him. "Good luck getting in there. It's locked for a reason you know, Remus."

Remus pulled his face away from the bars and allowed his eyes to lock on the icy gray ones staring up at him. He blinked almost confused, before he walked past the boy, giving him a faint smile, to the bookshelf where he picked up one of the scarce books he had yet to read. Laying the book against his chest, he sat down in one of the cushy chairs beside the large bay windows.

Remus opened his book, and kept his eyes glued to it as a dark shadow fell over him. "So, are you on cocaine or heroin?" He had voiced the question as casually as if he had asked him to pass the gravy. His eyes never moved, and it was obvious he was waiting for an answer rather than reading what was in front of him.

The boy beside him blinked and looked wearily around the Library before taking one of the cushy chairs beside Remus. He placed his bag on the floor, and crossed his legs, "What do you mean?" He asked his new friend guardedly.

Remus sighed, his eyes not leaving his new book. Sirius frowned when he noticed Remus' eyes beginning to droop, and that the boy was fighting hard against yawning. "Your eyes are dilated. Of course, this could be caused by a number of things, increased arousal for one, but seeing as you just had sex, I really don't see that as likely, also your eyes probably wouldn't be as dilated. Naturally, it could be dark, but seeing as the Library is brightly lit, that option is out as well.

"This then leaves us with narcotics or several medical potions and depressants. Seeing as you are not ill, medical potions are ruled out. Depressants are an option, but you will understand in a minute why I don't believe that to be so. Anyway, that leaves narcotics. If you look at your hands you will notice white powder present, you really should be more careful with that by the way. Anyway, that narrows it down to two common ones, cocaine or heroin. So, I shall ask again, are you on cocaine or heroin?"

"Cocaine," Sirius hissed, his hand coming to rub through the back of his curly hair nervously.

"Ah, the rich man's drug. Figures as much," Remus muttered to himself, shaking his head. He yawned, and leaned his head back against the cushion, his eyes closed. "Did you know that they used to use cocaine in the Muggle soda Coca-Cola? That's where it got its name from."

Sirius dropped his leg and leaned forward so that his elbows were resting on his knees, "what the hell is that supposed to mean?" He ignored the comment about Coca-cola as he had no idea what soda was.

"It means whatever you want it to mean, Sirius."

"What does THAT mean?"

Remus merely shook his head, and smiled softly, his eyes still closed. "It means what it means."

"I hate you," Sirius muttered, leaning back against his chair and closing his eyes.

"Pity," Remus said, "and here I thought we were becoming friends."

"Oh shut up, Lupin."

"Yes, Dear."

They stayed in companionable silence, both leaning back in their chairs comfortably with their eyes closed. Sirius heard shifting to his left, and opened his eyes to study the half asleep boy in front of him.

Remus' long sandy blonde hair that fell slightly into his face, and framed his cheeks making him look younger than he really was. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks, as he breathed in deeply, looking close to falling asleep in his chair. Remus looked exhausted, and that was understandable as he hadn't slept the night before. Even with his skin paler, and the dark circles under his eyes however, Sirius couldn't help but think the other boy beautiful. Remus yawned, his lips forming a small O, before falling into a lazy smile.

Sirius shook his head, feeling almost dazed when he found himself staring at Remus' lips for just a bit too long. "Regulus told us you scared the entire Slytherin House last night."

Remus chuckled softly, his eyes opening to watch Sirius for a moment before falling shut again. "Yeah, I am pretty sure I am not sleeping there tonight- or any other night for that matter."

"Why don't you sleep with me?" Sirius asked casually.

Remus raised an eyebrow at him, "pardon?"

"In my dormitory." He finished, after a slight pause where he realized what he had said. "Why don't you sleep in the dormitory with me. There is an extra bed there."

Remus sat up in his seat and folded his hands into his lap on top of his forgotten book. "I would really appreciate that, Sirius." He noticed Sirius relax back into his chair, "are you sure that it would be okay?" Sirius threw him a confused look, "with the others I mean. You know, me taking the other bed and all."

Sirius chuckled, "if they are okay with the random girls that come and go from there, they will be okay with you. Probably welcome you with open arms, and firewhisky." They once again fell into a silence. It was broken soon after however by the ding of the clock in the distance rang; signaling that is was fifteen minutes to ten in the evening. "That reminds me," indicating to the ringing of the clock. "We are having a bit of a party in your honour to welcome you to Hogwarts."

"Party?" Remus asked dully, his arm propping up his chin as he surveyed Sirius tiredly.

Sirius shrugged, "it's not a big deal. We do it for all the new guys in our year... or rather the ones that we like."

"So will everyone from our year will be there?"

"No, erm just James, Peter, you and I, maybe Regulus if he can get away," Sirius elaborated. "Maybe a couple others from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. I could invite Lily and Marlene if you like. You seemed to get along well with them this morning."

"So you guys like me, and decided to throw me a party?" Remus spoke cautiously, his eyes scanning the boy for any trace of him being untrustworthy. He found none, which caused him to feel even more on edge. Somehow after how they reacted to the news of him being a murderer, he expected them, and everyone else in Hogwarts for that matter, to avoid him like the plague. "Why?"

Sirius merely shrugged his shoulders, "pretty much. And because we were hoping you would want to become our friend." Sirius leaned forward and touched his hand lightly, "we like you, Remus." Remus swallowed as Sirius cocked an eyebrow and smirked at him, he was grateful to be sitting down as he suddenly felt weak in the knees. Remus was sure that the blush on his cheeks was terribly patchy and made him look awkward. Remus coughed and looked into Sirius' eyes, it was only there for a second, but Remus swore he saw a sparkle in his eye as he looked over Remus' blushing face. He pulled his hands away, and tucked them between his thighs. Remus opened his mouth, but no sound came out so he closed it and sighed.

Sirius surveyed the boy, his face appearing concerned. "Remus, if you are too tired we can postpone it until tomorrow night, or a night when you feel better. It doesn't have to be tonight."

Remus smiled slowly and shook his head, his hand covering his mouth as he yawned again. "No, I should be okay tonight. I can always sleep in until session tomorrow."

Sirius nodded, and stood from his chair, bending down to pick up his messenger bag from its spot on the floor. "I need to drop my bag at the Tower and change, but I'll be back in about an hour to pick you up." He stopped thoughtfully and looked Remus over, "if you really want to change, though there is no need, you should go to the Slytherin dorms now. Either way just make sure to meet me here in an hour."

Remus smiled warmly, inwardly hoping that he would be able to stop blushing by the time he came back. "I'll be here." Sirius winked at him and left the Library without another word, leaving Remus to his thoughts and a forgotten book.

o0o

"Pigfarts!" Sirius hissed to the Fat Lady and rushed through the portrait hole. He ignored the stares he got from his fellow Gryffindors and ran up the carpeted steps to the very top of the tower where he slammed through the door. "I need to speak with you guys!"

He threw his bag on his bed and ripped off his robes. "What's going on, Sirius?" James asked chuckling as his best friend fought against the knot of his tie, trying to loosen it.

Growling, the black-haired boy clumsily unbuttoned his uniform shirt and threw it on the floor at the foot of his bed. He kicked open his trunk and grabbed the top shirt, and a pair of black jeans that lay under it. "Remus seemed exhausted to me," Sirius answered, as he kicked off his sneakers and pulled off his trousers. He stood in front of his bed in only his boxers and faced James who was looking up at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Well if what Regulus said is true than I would think so." James stood from his bed, and ran a hand through his messy hair. "He coming to the party?"

Sirius nodded, jumping a bit as he forced himself into his black jeans; his raven coloured hair springing against his head with every movement. "Yeah, Mate. But I really think we should go easy on him. His body may not be able to handle much in its exhausted state. Especially alcohol."

Peter walked into the room, steam swirling around his head as he walked out of the bathroom fresh from a shower. "What's going on?"

"Sirius wants us to go easy on Lupin."

Peter shook his head, his hair falling artfully against his face, "no can do, Sirius." He pulled a shirt from his trunk and put it on; his head shaking to keep his hair from sticking to his face and neck. "You of all people should know that." Peter sprayed on some of his cologne and coughed as some entered his mouth by accident, "I mean Regulus was the first person we did that to."

"Keep your mouth shut when you spray that shit, Dumbass," James laughed, shaking his head. He turned back to Sirius who was buttoning up his black shirt, "what is with the sudden caring anyway? That's not like you, Sirius."

Sirius pushed Peter out of his way and applied his cologne. He attempted to do something about his hair but gave up after several attempts to calm it down. "I don't care, Potter." He turned and leaned against his dresser, his arms crossed in front of his chest, and legs crossed at the ankles. "I just don't want to be held responsible if he has a mental breakdown and kills us all."

"Really?" Peter asked teasingly, "Because it seems to me like somebody has a little crush." He giggled and ran behind James when Sirius came after him with a pillow, a blush clearly evident on his pale cheeks.

Peter shook his head, smiling warming at Sirius' behavior before meeting his eyes. "Listen, Mate. If you really like him, we can go easy on him."

Sirius groaned in frustration, his hands coming up to rub roughly through his curls, "no! I am just concerned about how he may react, both mentally and physically. The alcohol and …" He threw his hands up, and smiled, though it was a bit forced. "Forgot I said anything, it'll be fun."

Sirius fell quiet as he allowed his thoughts to drift to the tall, pale sandy blonde-haired boy. Did he like him? No that was ludicrous even on the face of it. Did he want him as part of his group of friends? Sure. Did he want him for sex? Most definitely. He didn't want him as a boyfriend though. Sure, Remus was smart, in a bookish type of way, and he was snarky, that was always a good thing, intelligent, and Sirius swore he never felt the way he did before when he looked at Remus, but no. It's not meant to be, not now at any rate.

Being in love, showing any interest in a relationship past casual sex here was deadly, it made you a target. A breakable target. If anyone were to find out, they would stop at nothing, nothing, until they took away the thing that made you happy. They would break you, until you were no longer yourself. Leaving you to be an empty shell, a fate, which some say, is worse than death.

o0o

"Mummy! Mummy! Look it's a firefly!" Five-year-old Remus ran through the fields behind his family's cottage, his hair flying behind him as his tiny feet flew across the grassland.

"Catch him in your jar, you can bring him home and keep him in your room!" She called from her spot on the porch. Mrs. Lupin sat on a large porch swing with their husky puppy Pickles at her feet as she read from a book and sipped lemonade.

Remus squealed happily, and chased after the firefly. His elder cousin Matthew ran up behind him holding a jar. "Remus, stay still! You are going to scare him away!"

The five year old froze in his spot, one leg up in the air, his arms outstretched towards the firefly that was now fluttering teasingly in front of him the bulb on its back lighting every now and then. Remus held his breath as his cousin moved around him, and slowly snuck behind the firefly.

Remus shook and fell, stumbling into Matthew in the process causing both of them to fall harshly to the ground. Matthew landed on top of Remus, and they both laughed hysterically eyes closing in mirth. Remus paused and opened his eyes to see the firefly on his cousin's nose.

"Remus, hug Matthew! Let me get a photo!" Mrs. Lupin called from the porch where she was now standing on the steps, a camera in hand. Remus grinned and wrapped his arms tightly around Matthew's neck, giggling as the firefly lit its bulb, casting a soft light on his cheek. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against his cousin's cheek as Matthew placed a hand on his crossed arms.

CLICK.

"Remus?"

Remus blinked and looked up to see a concerned looking Sirius staring down at him. "Sorry, what did you say?" He blinked and shook his head. "I must've dozed off."

Sirius smiled, and picked up the book that had fallen to the floor and placed it on the desk behind him. "I asked if you were ready to go."

The blonde nodded tiredly, and got up from his chair, gripping onto Sirius' shoulder as he swayed slightly. He stayed still for a moment, and breathed in and out slowly, before opening his eyes and smiling.

Sirius placed a hand on his back and lightly pushed Remus towards the Library door. "You… okay?"

Remus raised an eyebrow at his phrasing but shrugged his shoulders. "Just tired, and everything, you know, normal stuff."

The black-haired boy beside him chuckled softly, "well you are in for an interesting night, I'm sure of it."

Remus chuckled, "I sure hope so." He stopped for a moment, his hand coming up to grip the other boy's shirt. "Do you guys have a record player?"

Sirius cocked his head to the side, "what's a record player?"

"It's something made in the Muggle world to play music on," Remus explained. "It's a large box, and you place this round plastic thing that holds music on it, onto the spoke in the middle and you place this needle on top of it and music comes out."

"That's kind of cool," Sirius mused, "maybe we can get the Room of Requirement to make one."

"Room of Requirement?"

Sirius smirked, "you'll see."

o0o

Remus hummed happily as he took a sip from his coconut flavored rum drink. He frowned slightly as he stared down at the bottle and noticed that there was only a drop left. Sighing, he placed it at the foot of the couch, and leaned back against the armrest, contenting himself on watching the others interact with each other.

Peter stood at the far corner of the room where the table with food resided. A hand clutched a Butterbeer, or was it firewhisky, Remus couldn't tell as the label was hidden by the smaller boy's hand. He was smiling as a group of girls came up to him to speak.

Lily, Marlene, and Regulus were dancing in the middle of the dance floor, and Remus couldn't help but smile at how carefree and innocent the three of them looked there. A couple from Hufflepuff seemed to be in their own little world making out in a darkened corner of the room.

James sat at the corner of Remus' sofa, a goofy smile on his face as he watched Lily's every movement. Remus allowed himself to study the red-haired girl more, and when she blushed after sneaking a glance towards his and James' direction, he confirmed his suspicions that the girl had a crush on the bespectacled boy. Then there was Sirius. Sirius had barely said two words to him since the rest of the group came not an hour earlier. He stood, sucking from the cigarette between his lips, with his hands in his pockets and an almost wistful look in his eyes as he stared in his direction. He was talking to a very blonde girl, and a boy who seemed to be her twin brother.

Remus pulled his eyes away from Sirius and his friends, in favor of looking around the room. Sirius had explained to him that they, meaning James, Peter, Sirius and Regulus, had found the room while being chased by Hogwarts' insane caretaker Filch. Remus could sense that was a lie however, and he looked to Sirius only to have the boy brush him off. He would find out someday.

The room, as Remus had got to witness earlier, changed at a person's will. The only thing the room couldn't seem to give was food, which if Remus thought about it, made perfect sense. It wasn't as if you could transfigure a book into a sandwich and eat it. Eventually it would turn back into a book, and well, no one wanted to think about the consequences of that.

Apparently, the group tried not to go there too often as they were few of the people in the entire school that knew about the room. They feared that coming habitually would bring the room to the attention of others and that they would lose their safe haven.

There was a puff of smoke blown into Remus' face which broke him out of his reverie. He blinked and resisted the urge to roll his eyes at James who was standing above him. "Can I help you?" He asked blandly.

James smiled, and offered him another bottle of coconut rum drink. "I noticed that you finished your drink, figured I'd give you another one."

Remus sat up and shrugged, accepting the bottle from the boy. He was a werewolf so his resistance to alcohol was spectacularly high. He placed the bottle beside his mouth and the liquid touched his lips. He paused as he noticed a painful burning sensation, and pulled back to smell the bottle. The smell was off. He laughed humorously and threw the bottle harshly against the wall. This caused everyone in the room to look at him, their eyes widening in shock and fear. His eyes grower darker as he spoke softly, "gillyweed, with a touch of silver flakes." He nodded his head, "smart. Works just like the Muggle version of LSD. Causes hallucinations, funny… well I could only assume."

"How did you know?" James asked silently, he had removed himself from his position near Remus as the boy began to look more dangerous as the moments passed.

"You're a smart lot, figure it out." He whispered his voice deathly, his normally caring eyes turning even darker. "I could smell the gillyweed even though the rum should have covered it up, and I noticed the silver. I threw the bottle away from me as soon as it touched my lips. Why would that be?"

"You're allergic to gillyweed or silver," Sirius supplied, as he walked so that he stood beside his younger brother, his hand unconsciously going to grab Regulus'. His heart pounded in his chest, and his breathing felt constricted as he stared at his new friend. Something was off, something, something huge- dangerous. Something that they were all in over their heads with.

Remus was now standing up and had begun pacing in front of the sofa. "Excellent, Sirius." He stopped and turned to the group. Peter who was the closest to him, stood up slightly taller, his eyes scanning the taller boy's face.

"Is that a burn on your lip?" Peter's voice was soft, almost concerned. "You didn't have that when you got here. How did that happen?"

James and Lily's eyes widened at the same time. A look of realization fell upon Marlene's, Sirius' and Regulus' faces soon after. "Silver burns werewolves, they can't go near it." Lily said softly, her eyes scanning Remus' face.

Sirius took a step towards Remus, stopping when Regulus tugged on his hand. "Regulus, let me go." Regulus opened his mouth to protest, but let his brother go when he saw the look of determination on his brother's face. Sirius took a deep breath and walked until he was standing within arm's length of Remus.

"Are you a werewolf, Remus?" Sirius asked softly.

Amber eyes met gray as Remus gave a small nod. "Yes."