Not so Hollow Inside

By Spunky0ne

(A request from WriterFan4Life!)

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After Aizen's fall, Ichigo knows to expect he will lose his shinigami powers, but when he begins having strange symptoms, he quickly realizes that his final Getsugatensho isn't the cause…yaoi, mpreg…Grimmjow/Ichigo, Ukitake/Shunsui, Kenpachi/Byakuya, and Kurushimi/Tetsuya (Kurushimi appears courtesy of Shima-Taicho31!)

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Chapter 1: Fading Glory

My powers, Ichigo thought, keeping his eyes closed as he laid in bed with his arms behind his head, they're getting weaker. It's like Kisuke said. It's like I can feel them slipping away, little by little. Rukia and Renji try not to notice, but I can see it when they don't think I'm looking…that fear…that sadness that this has to end.

But, I'm okay with my decision.

I know it was the right one.

For Soul Society.

For my family and friends.

For me.

I couldn't live with myself if I let someone like Aizen take over everything. A guy like that..no, I couldn't let that happen. So, I did the only thing I could. Because I gave up my powers, Aizen is in prison, where monsters like him belong. My friends and family are safe. Soul Society and the living world are safe. And I'm fine. I really am. Yeah, I wanted the power to protect everyone, but sometimes having what we want would cost us the very thing we're most fighting for. I want peace, love and safety. I have all of that, because I was willing to go back to being…just a human.

A soft tapping on the bedroom door made him open his eyes and scowl at the unseed offender.

"Whaddya want? I'm trying to sleep in here!" he shouted.

"Ichi-nii," Yuzu called cheerfully through the closed door, "I've got breakfast ready downstairs."

"Ugh," Ichigo groaned softly, his stomach turning oddly at the thought of any kind of food, "Just put mine in the fridge. I'll eat it later."

"I think he's got three days of breakfast in there he hasn't eaten," Karin's voice complained, "I don't know why you bother."

"Go away!" Ichigo snapped, "I need more sleep."

"Gee," Yuzu said, cocking her head cutely at Karin, "he sure is tired and crabby for having just been camping. I didn't know that camping was that stressful."

"C'mon, girls," Isshin's voice intoned, "let's let the kid sleep."

"Yeah," Ichigo whispered, covering his face with his pillow to shut out the light, "let's do that."

He closed his eyes, relaxing at the sounds of the others leaving the house.

I really should get up.

But he couldn't seem to make his tired body move. At least, not until a stronger throb of nausea made him jump up and run for the bathroom. He dropped to his knees and emptied his stomach.

I guess it's a good thing that I didn't eat.

He remained on his knees for a few minutes to let the spots that danced in front of his eyes disappear. When they were gone, he rose with a long sigh and stopped at the sink to wash his mouth out and brush his teeth. To his surprise, by the time he finished dressing, his stomach was rumbling. He walked downstairs, listening to make sure he was alone, then he headed into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. He smirked in amusement, spotting the carefully wrapped three days worth of breakfasts that Karin had mentioned. He selected the one that was still warm and popped it into the microwave, taking a seat at the table to wait.

"Well, I was wondering when you would get your butt out of bed," Rukia said, walking into the kitchen.

She noted the look of surprise on Ichigo's face at her entrance and turned her head slightly to hide her disappointment.

"Sorry, I didn't…sense you," he confessed quietly.

"It's okay," Rukia assured him, eyeing him closely, "you don't have to apologize."

Ichigo let out a shuddering sigh.

"Yeah."

The microwave let out a sharp set of beeps and Ichigo rose and collected his now steaming breakfast. He sat down at the table.

"You hungry?"

"No," Rukia answered, "I had breakfast with Kisuke this morning."

"Hmm. He tell you to come over here?" Ichigo asked around a mouthful of food.

"No," the young woman said, crossing her arms, "He didn't need to send me over here. I wanted to come."

She watched silently as Ichigo shoveled more food into his mouth.

"You know, you never questioned before if I came over. You shouldn't do it now. I'm here because we're friends."

"You're here because I'm slowly losing my powers and, for you, it's like watching a car wreck, right in front of you. You can't look away, can you?"

"Are you saying you want me to leave?" Rukia challenged him, scowling.

Ichigo shrugged, making a sound of disapproval as he reached the end of his food, but felt his stomach still complaining. He rose and took out another of the little tubs and put it in the microwave.

"Stay if you want. Go if you want. I won't take offense."

"You don't think I really want to be here?" Rukia asked pointedly, "Ichigo, you are my friend and I like being with you. That's why I'm here. It's true that it's hard to see you losing your powers. It's hard to know that the time is going to come when you can't even Renji and me anymore. It's painful and it makes me sad, but I don't want to waste the time we have, avoiding the pain."

Ichigo dropped back into his chair, biting at his lips as he considered some kind of reply.

"Me either," he said, looking down at the table, "I just…don't feel so well today."

The microwave beeped again, and Rukia watched in silence for a moment as her ginger-haired friend collected his food and began to wolf it down.

"Couldn't tell by the way you're putting all of that away," she snickered, "You look better by the moment. The food must be helping."

"Can't seem to stop eating," Ichigo chuckled, rubbing his belly, "What the heck?"

"Finish that up and let's go to the park, okay? It's warm enough to swim in the river today."

"You wanna go swimming?" Ichigo asked, giving her a sideways glance.

"Yeah, that's what I just said, dummy," Rukia laughed, "Come on. Hurry up and finish chowing down. Renji and the others are going to meet us there."

Ichigo's eyes narrowed instantly.

"They're gonna meet us there? But…how did you know I was gonna…?"

"Because I know my friend," Rukia said sternly, "He did something that was really brave, and in his heart, he knows it was the right thing to do. There are consequences, but this guy is a hero. He knows that the best way to show that he means what he did…is to be with all of his friends and let us all comfort each other. That's the only way we're all going to get through this."

Rukia paused at the little smile Ichigo gave her.

"What?" she demanded, shaking her head.

"Rukia," Ichigo said, his voice shaking very slightly, "thanks."

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(In Grimmjow's cave in Hueco Mundo)

"Nel-sama, I think he's waking up!" Dondachakka shouted, indicating the Sexta Espada's curled up form.

"Naw," Pesche countered, squinting at Grimmjow, "I think that was just another quiver."

"No, I think he's really waking up!"

"Do you see any blue eyes?" Pesche snapped, crossing his arms and tilting his head, "cause all I see are eyelids! If he was waking up, then we would see his eyes, not his eyelids, bozo."

"But, you don't open your eyes before you wake up," Dondachakka argued, "You open your eyes as you wake up. I said it looked like he was waking up, not already awake. Are you sure you should be calling me a bozo?"

"You're a bozo and a smartass!" Pesche complained, moving to Grimmjow's side, "See? He ain't moving, just breathing and a little purring. That's kinda cute."

A clawed hand shot out from under Grimmjow's collapsed form and wrapped around Pesche's throat warningly as the Sexta Espada's eyes opened and narrowed and his lips curled, revealing sharp teeth.

"Don't ever fucking call me cute again!" he snarled, "And don't take up my breathing space either. Why don't you two morons…"

He paused, glaring, as Nel entered the chamber, clad in her child form. Her eyes rotated upward to meet Grimmjow's and she grinned.

"Grimmy's awake!" she laughed, "Nel is so glad that Grimmy didn't die! Nel put her saliva all over Grimmjow's wounds, but Grimmjow didn't wake up for a long, long, long, long…"

"OKAY, I GET IT!" Grimmjow roared, making the little girl hollow stiffen and stare back at him, "S-sorry, just, these two are getting on my nerves with all of their talking. I'm awake now. They can leave."

"But we live here!" Dondachakka objected.

"SCRAM!" Grimmjow hissed, scattering the two and leaving him alone with the former Third Espada.

Nel looked up at him questioningly.

"How did Grimmjow sleep?" she asked, "Nel was nearby some of the time and Grimmjow seemed to have some very bad dreams."

"I'm a fucking hollow," the blue-haired Espada said sarcastically, "My life is a nightmare, especially having to put up with a snot-nosed kid and her two idiot stuffed toys!"

"Pesche and Dondachakka took care of Grimmjow, so Nel could sleep," the girl said more sternly, "Grimmjow should say thank you for us not letting Grimmjow die."

"I should thank you?" Grimmjow asked in an irascible tone, "Are you fucking kidding me? I lost! I lost to that freak Ichigo! I was was supposed to die, baka!"

"But Grimmjow doesn't want to die now, does he?" Nel asked, giving him a troubled look.

"What's to live for?" Grimmjow sighed sitting up and looking down at his battered, but healing body, "Aizen sold us a pack of lies and he's locked up where he belongs. There's nothing here now but chaos."

"Harribel is governer," Nel explained, "Grimmjow slept for months. Nel was really worried and so were Harribel, Pesche and Dondachakka. We all helped heal Grimmjow."

"Yeah, thanks for the spit, kid," Grimmjow sighed discontentedly, "I need a bath."

He noticed the quizzical look Nel gave him and answered with his own look of exasperation.

"NO!" he shouted, "I did not mean I'm going to lick myself! I want a bath!"

"Nel doesn't have any water. The only water now is in Las Noches. But, Grimmjow isn't ready to walk that far yet. Grimmjow must wait until he is strong enough."

"Not strong enough?" Grimmjow snapped, "Just watch me!"

He staggered to his feet, ignoring the girl's instant objections. Pesche and Dondachakka looked up from the fire they sat beside as the Sexta Espada lurched out of the cave and stumbled past them.

"Whoa, he doesn't look so good."

"At least let Nel heal you some more, Grimmjow!" Nel called out, scampering after him, then stopping as his sonido sounded, and Grimmjow disappeared.

The three stood, looking after him in silence for a moment.

"What do we do about him?" Dondachakka asked.

"Harribel will scold Grimmjow and get Grimmjow to lie down and rest," Nel assured him, "But, we should go and help. C'mon."

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Kisuke looked up and smiled as the door to his shop opened and four shinigami men entered.

"Shunsui, Juushiro, Byakuya, and Kenpachi," he greeted them cheerfully, "What can I do for you boys?"

Shunsui smiled and Byakuya and Kenpachi scowled at each other, their reiatsu flickering until their elder colleague cleared his throat. Instantly, the two calmed.

"Yama-jii sent us to escort Kenpachi and Byakuya to Karakura Town to work on the clean up that is left, and to manage whatever hollows they can, so that we can conserve Ichigo's power," Shunsui explained.

Kisuke shot the two scowling taichos a pleasant grin.

"You boys get on Soutaicho's bad side?" he chuckled.

"It seems that while in Hueco Mundo, during the war," Juushiro explained, "they were witnessed beating up on each other instead of fighting the enemies."

"The decently strong enemies were all dead by the time me and Byakuya squared off to work our differences out."

"Well, Yama-jii wasn't pleased these two took their minds off their duties and injured each other when every bit of strength should have been saved to fight Aizen if he won."

"Perhaps we knew that Ichigo was going to take care of Aizen and…"

"Now, you know how Yama-jii responded to that argument," Juushiro said, looking amused.

"He yelled pretty damned loud," Kenpachi snickered, "and called that little noble princess a fool!"

"Do not dare to call me that!"

"Now, boys," Shunsui laughed, "You'd better behave. Yama-jii has worse places he can send you if you keep misbehaving. Just hang out here, do what Kisuke says for a few weeks."

"A few weeks?" Byakuya argued, "I am a clan leader. I cannot abandon my clan for a few weeks!"

"You have Tetsuya with you, don't you?" Kisuke asked, looking around and spotting the pale waterform Byakuya's cousin and bodyguard used to conceal himself, "He can be your go between."

"Tetsuya's job is to protect me, not to run errands."

"You want another month of clean up, cupcake?" Kenpachi teased, "Keep arguing and you'll get it."

"Keep talking and you do not want to know what you will get!" Byakuya snapped.

"Ah, do you have anything you need done right now?" Shunsui asked.

"Maybe a couple of separate jobs?" Juushiro added, "They're still a little feisty."

"S-sure," Kisuke laughed, "Kenpachi, you can bring in the orders that just arrived, and Byakuya, if you don't mind, I'd like you to help me with a few things in my lab."

"I am not acting as your lab rat!" the Kuchiki leader said haughtily.

"Didn't ask you to," Kisuke said good-naturedly, tipping his hat, "See ya later, Shunsui, Juushiro. Say hello to Soutaicho for me."

"Will do," Juushiro promised.

"Just let us know if those two boys cause any trouble here," Shunsui added.

Byakuya gave the two a derisive look and turned towards the laboratory. Kisuke followed him down the hallway and inside. Byakuya watched as Kisuke approached a monitor and began to type.

"You wanna sit down on the examination table for a second?" Kisuke asked.

"I do remember telling you I will not be your guinea pig," Byakuya reminded him.

"That was lab rat. You didn't agree to be my lab rat. And you're neither one. I'm just going to take some baselines to check your recovery and then we'll enter the information from Ichigo's latest round of tests."

The shopkeeper noticed right away, the reaction in Byakuya's dark, expressive eyes.

"How is he?"

Kisuke let out a soft sigh.

"Losing power slowly," he answered, keeping his eyes on the monitor in front of him, "but we knew what was going to happen. It's not a surprise."

"But, it is unfortunate."

Kisuke gave him a curious glance.

"I thought you were glad that he was coming home, where he belongs. Wasn't that what you said, Byakuya-san?"

"I did say that," Byakuya agreed, "Ichigo is a human, and he belongs with his own family."

"Yeah," Kisuke agreed, turning his head slightly so that the noble missed the look of irony that flashed on his face, "I guess so. Well, there's no choice now. One way or another, Ichigo is losing his shinigami powers. We'd all better hope to kami that nothing else comes up we can't handle, right?"

"The boy should never have been burdened with what is our responsibility," Byakuya said, earing widened eyes from his surprised friend, "He never failed us, but we have failed Ichigo. We will feel his loss greatly, but he will have the safe, carefree life that all young people should have."

Kisuke's expression softened and he nodded.

"You're right, Byakuya-san. I hope he enjoys the peace."

While it lasts, both men thought together.