Hey guys this is just a Linstead one-shot based on the song 'Flares' by The Script. Enjoy!
Disclaimer :
Unfortunately I do not own any part of Chicago PD. If I did i would have bribed Sophia with anything she wanted to stay. I also do not own the song 'Flares'. This is all for entertainment purposes.
Did you lose what won't return?
Jay sat on the couch, downing another beer. Today was the day, 10 years since the death of half his group in Afghanistan, and let's just say, he wasn't doing very well.
Did you love but never learn?
Jay suddenly feels tears slowly rolling down his face. The warmth of the tears was comforting, but once they started, they wouldn't stop. He felt stupid, he never cries.
The fire's out but still it burns
Jay could hear the distant noise of sirens. He wondered if someone was hurting as much as he did today. He wondered if someone had lost someone close to them just like he did, and was crying alone in their lounge room too.
And no one cares, there's no one there
Jay stood up, heading to get another beer, realising that he had drank the one that was in his hand. He reached the fridge, opened it, and grabbed another beer, easily popping of the lid before gulping half of it down in one breath.
Did you find it hard to breathe?
Jay slowly made his way back to the couch, beer in hand. He knew that day was going to be hard, but this year it hit him like a ton of bricks. 10 years. Jim's kid would be 12 now. Ben's wife 35. Why did Jay survive, out of all the people there, he had the least to live for. Yes, he had his brother, but that was it, and his brother could live without him, Jim's young boy has never gotten to meet his dad.
Did you cry so much you could barely see?
Since that day, Jay had become a shell of a man. He had his team, but that day still shadows over his every move, his every thought. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees their faces. He sees the blood, it was everywhere. So much blood.
You're in the darkness all alone
Had Jay known what his team was walking into that day, he would have done anything to stop them. But none of them had known the horror they would have faced that day, so many people not knowing that that was going to be their last day on Earth, not knowing that the FaceTime call they had answered that morning was the last time they were ever going to see their wife, their mother, their brother, their child.
And no one cares, there's no one there
Jay's never really been the same since that day, no glint of happiness in his eyes, his laugh forced, his job being the only thing keeping him alive. The happiness and love for life that had once filled Jay's bones had been squashed.
But did you see the flares in the sky?
Jay heard a knock on the door of his run-down apartment. Not wanting to get up off his couch, he yelled 'it's open' to the door, not really caring who it was, even if they were there to put a bullet through his brain.
Were you blinded by the light?
Jay closed his eyes and leant back against the couch. A few seconds later (or a few hours later, Jay couldn't really tell) he felt a hand on his. Unlike the normal Jay, he didn't react, just slowly opened his eyes to see Erin's face above him, a concerned expression resting on her face.
Did you feel the smoke in your eyes?
No words came from Erin's mouth, she just sat down beside him, taking a sip of his beer, a not moving her hand from his. Jay couldn't be more thankful for the silence, just her being there was enough for him.
Did you, did you?
They sat like that for hours, not moving at all, and Jay was certain Erin had fallen asleep, yet every time he turned to look at her the same supportive, yet sympathetic, eyes looked back at him.
Did you see the sparks filled with hope?
Never had Jay needed the presence of another human more than in that moment. Erin knew the pain that was flashing through Jay's eyes. She knew about what had happened on this day so many years before. And yet, she didn't bring it up. No, 'it's going to be fine', no, 'it wasn't your fault,' She knew that nothing she could say would change Jay's mind about that night. So, she stayed silent, the silence being the only comfort possible.
You are not alone
Around 3 am in the morning, Erin stood up. Jay's eyes met hers. The vulnerability in his eyes almost brought Erin to tears. She walked to the fridge grabbing another two beers for herself and Jay. As she handed Jay the beer she murmured, 'you are not alone.'
Cause someone's out there, sending out flares
Jay said nothing straight away, but after Erin had sat down and popped the lid of her beer, he lifted his head for the first time that night, looked into her eyes and mumbled the first words she had heard him say all day. 'Thank you.'
