Darting left through the only opening, Ali shouldered passed Craig rushing from the house as fast as her wobbly legs would move. Reaching the drive she doubled over her rib shaking with each movement. The cold created an anchor from the swirling sensations as exposed skin began to prickle. Looking around the bluette saw no body else, not even steamed up car windows. She was alone. Focusing upon the ragged breaths entering her lungs the writer tried to talk herself down.

No one expects anything from you out here, you can relax and no one will judge you.

Except for everyone who watched you run out of the house like a madwoman.

No! They don't matter anymore! You aren't going to see any of them again.

Only tomorrow at work when they come to cure their hang overs. Oh, and for the rest of your miserable life here in South Park.

"FUCK!" Ali growled as her inner self refused to listen to logic. Scrubbing at her face, the female McCormick tried shove that illogical monster back into its cave in the recesses of her mind. Except it had grabbed her shoulders and chest squeezing tightly. Gasping Ali began pulling at her coat trying to fan air down her chest as her imagination drew up the image of dark tendrils ...

STOP!

She pushed the imagery she forced herself to inspect every detail of the nearest car. If there was one helpful thing she had taken away from those free online counselors it was she couldn't let her imagination feed her anxiety. Pulling the beat up prepaid phone from her pocket she hit the speed dial for Kenny. Taking a another shaky breath she began to count the rings. Everything was going to be fine as soon as Kenny picked up. She would give him the signal, they would go home and sleep up their respective levels of inebriation.

"We are sorry, but the number you are trying to reach..."

"Shit!" Ali yelled and grabbed her forehead. Why?! Why of all times when she needed him this badly Kenny wasn't there?

Because he is finally tired of taking care of you. The imaginary tendrils slipped into her chest digging and wiggling.

Stop it! The bluette screamed at herself pressing the speed dial again. It was all lies and she logically knew that, even as her heart continued to race while her stomach dropped in dread.

"We are sorry..."

Hanging up the writer tried again. What piece of ass did he grab that is soooo fucking interesting he would ignore his phone! He always answered when she called twice. He knew she wouldn't call twice unless it was getting bad. He was her brother! He was the only one who knew how bad it got, the only one she trusted to see her in this state and pull her out.

Pinching the bridge of her nose Ali logically reasoned neither Butters or Red deserved being called a piece of ass. Her brother deserved to have as much of a life that South Park could provide as he could for this last year. Logically, she wasn't going to die, nor reach a point of no return. Logically, this would all be over in probably an hour with a funk lingering for a day or two. Logically no one would even remember her leaving. Logically.

The emotional side only screamed louder. Emotionally she was alone. Emotionally there was no facing her peers tomorrow, they would laugh, scorn, mock, what have you because she was too weak to walk 100 god damn yards without breaking down. Emotionally no one would ever love this dark monster that clung to her back like a fucking kola bear never giving her a minute of peace. The emotional side drowned out the logic with demands to know why her brother wouldn't pick up his god damn fucking phone!

Kicking at the snow, the tall youth draped herself over the roof of a parked car gently hitting her head in rhythm with the rings. Insanity was the act of trying the same action over and over, but expecting a different result each time. What was wrong with her for that thought to bring about a bitter comfort? Pressing redial again Ali released a frustrated yell meeting with the automotive voice mail again.

"Ali?"

The writer squeezed her eyes shut ignoring whoever had stumbled upon this unfortunate scene. She should never have come with Kenny. She should have taken her store key and camped out in the coffee shop until her computer was charged. Then snuggled with Karen for the rest of the night. The feeling of water freezing on her cheeks made a few more tears slip out in embarrassment. As soon as Kenny picked up, she would go home and this would all be over.

"Ali," the voice whispered her name with so much care it made the bluette pause. The voice didn't belong to Kenny, but the way they said her name was similar. Glancing over her shoulder she noticed Tweek's hand hovering in between them his lips quirked upwards in understanding. Craig silently observed his blank face both nerve wracking as well as comforting. Slowly Tweek stepped forward until his hand rested on her shoulder, "What d-na-do you need?"

Like a rubber band snapping back into place, Ali felt the tendril's break away and voices quietly hiss in the back of her mind where they belonged. Her chest still felt tight and shame now burned her face, but the all consuming nature was gone. Adverting her gaze to the ground, the bluette hunched her shoulders. She wanted to give in, but ... she just couldn't.

"I'm sorry. This happens sometimes. Just forget about it. I'll see you at work." It's not want she wanted, not what she needed at all. No she wanted them to stay, to tell her she isn't weak maybe even distract her until the funk dissipates. Except that was asking a lot, especially since they had only just gotten this close. It would be for the best in the long run if she kept them away.

Besides, who would willingly want to get involved with this mess?

"It wasn't intentional, right? You weren't running from us, just gah from the house." Tweek asked calmly, his hand sneaking into the gap between Ali's hat and coat to brush against her neck. When she didn't pull away, thin fingers gently curled around the column kneading into the knots. Turning to bury her nose into Tweek's wrist Ali gave a quick nod. "Then nothing to be sorry about. What do you nah-eed to bring you back to center?"

Grabbing his wrist Ali felt her breath pick up momentarily as she realized they weren't taking he offer to leave. Then again, why would this even shock them. Tweek had probably figured out Ali's outburst the moment she broke free. Tension bleed out the bluette and she was gently pulled so that her head rested on Tweek's shoulder. It was comforting to be understood, to not have to explain everything and hope that they don't tell you 'It's mind over matter.' Sniffing once, she muttered, "Kenny wouldn't pick up his phone."

"What a dick." The twitchy blonde chuckled followed by a soothing, "Gah! It's okay. I didn't mean that," when Ali released a whine. Turning her nose into his neck, the female McCormick took deep breaths of coffee and Tweek. If she could have this every time things got overwhelming, maybe interacting with the town wouldn't be so bad.

The boy rubbed circles into her back with one hand while he held her head in place. Glancing at Craig, he received a relieved smile as Ali didn't push them away. Closing his eyes, Tweek let his thoughts drifted back to earlier that evening...was it really just tonight? She had done the exact same thing except this time her nose dug around slightly trying to press against his skin. A warmth spread through Tweek as he rocked them back and forth humming again.

After a few minutes, Ali straightened her back with a sigh. That was far more grounding than listening to Kenny ramble. A pack of cigarettes was offered to the McCormick twin and she took one gratefully. Craig lite the end before lighting his own and moving to relax against the car. Ali did the same and although their shoulders touched, Craig kept his distance only getting closer to wipe some snow off of Tweek's cheek. She appreciated having the option to move away as the writer leaned more weight onto Craig's shoulder.

First to finish, Craig dropped his filter to the ground. "Wanna head to my house, now? Theresa's sleeping over at her friend's so the second floor will be quiet."

Flicking her butt into the yard, Ali raised an eyebrow teasingly. Craig smirked quickly leaning over to hover their lips inches apart, "Well relatively quiet." He kissed her quick but harshly, as though this action had broken free from his self control. Ali could only nod dumbly her insides bubbling with multiple emotions. The atmosphere around them lightened everything teetering back to what had been simmering in Token's room. Tweek leaned across Ali demanding his own kiss from Craig.

Leaving the voices to hiss, Ali kept her mind blank threading her fingers together with Tweek's. Craig moved behind them herding the group toward the beat up Toyota at the end of the line of cars. Opening the front door the bluette allowed Tweek pull her into his lap. As Craig buckled himself in, Ali sought to keep the light mood. "Should you be driving?" She added a disapproving look for good measure.

"No, but you shouldn't be sitting on Tweek's lap either." Hazel eyes swept over the two huddled in the front seat.

"Touche" Ali nodded but made no move to go into the back. She didn't want to be alone, and with no inhibitions to feed the hissing voices of anxiety, Ali snuggled into Tweek's lap. The taller than average female had to hunch her back extra to rest her head on his shoulder, but it was worth it to feel the vibration of the blonde's pleased hum. From the driver seat, knuckles began running lazily over her back just as the hot air could be felt leaving the vents.

The drive was short but thankfully safe. None of them talked letting lingering touches and heated gazes say everything. Once all three were tucked away in Craig's room, Tweek began making himself comfortable while Ali took her time observing the posters and trinkets scattered around. It wasn't the same as Token's room where the personal touches were meant to accent the space. Here it was floor to ceiling covered in posters. A video camera sat upon a tripod next to a computer with a video editor opened upon its screen. Books and notebooks were spewed about the space with what looked like research and notes for scripts ideas. Stripe the 4th sat comfortably in the middle of his cage his nose twitching at the new smells. Ali smiled fondly at him crouching so that they could be eye level with each other.

"Your owner is a huge cinephile isn't he?" Ali whispered smirking at the grunted 'Hey' from across the room. Raising her knuckles so they rested against the wires of the cage, green eyes softened feeling the little pink nose twitch lightly against her skin. A fond smile softened the writer's face as the innocent action stirred up her own desire for a pet. It wasn't possible right now, but perhaps when they move they could find a place the allows pets. As her train of thought continued to jump around, she whispered, "It's ok, I think its cute."

Craig couldn't quiet place the feeling growing in his chest listening to Ali talk to his guinea pig. Ignoring it for now, he wished she would keep talking to Stripe the 4th. It was adorable how Stripe moved around the cage following ink stained fingers hoping for a treat. Suddenly something hit Craig in the back. Looking toward his bed he saw Tweek giving him an impatient look his shirt already off. Right, they had plenty of time to admire how adorable Ali was later. Especially now that he was looking at his sexy boyfriend's chest, the need to see Ali's pressed against it rose in Craig.

Cold air assaulted Ali's head as the logger hat disappeared. Turning slowly to glare playfully up at Craig, she was met with a pair of lips instead. Soft lips that twitched at irregular intervals. When Tweek pulled away, the writer noticed he was missing his shirt. In an instant her mind began to praise the sight. 'He still glowed in the moonlight. I will never be sure if it was reflected into my eyes or if his skin actually glowed, but as my hands traveled the long expanse of perfect skin I could only marvel..." Ali couldn't stop the short story from unfolding while she ran her hand up Tweek's side.

"He doesn't like to be kept waiting. Aaaaaand considering we have been anticipating this for a long time, I can't blame him." Craig's voice was followed by two arms wrapping around Ali's mid section ripping her away from Tweek.

'Compared to the moonlight he was the moon. The surface looked smooth, but when one felt along it there were dips and crevices. Years of working showing itself.' Ali dug her nails under the sleeves feeling Craig's shoulder shift, the muscles tensing in different ways changing the feeling under her hands. Tweek helped get the thread bare flannel off, while rough lips steadily kissed the story trailing off. Pushing her toward the bed, the writer smirked as the boys followed caging her in as though afraid she was going to bolt.

Chuckling, Ali kicked her shoes off scooting to the far corner of the bed so the others could climb up. "I'm not going to run away." Why would she? She finally had what she had only viewed as a far off pipe dream literally in her lap. After everything that happened this night, and they ignored every chance Ali gave them to back out; she wasn't going to let this go. Gripping Craig's hair, she shoved her tongue into his mouth moaning as he shoved it right back. Licking the roof of her mouth again he grunted as Tweek palmed him through his open zipper.

Bracing her hands against the taller boy, Ali helped flipped Craig to his back moving so Tweek could finish taking off his pants. Large hands worked her shirt over her head while thin fingers creased the exposed skin. Perhaps she should have felt cold as her clothes where removed, but there was no time as heated hands or mouths, she honestly can't tell the difference right now, chased unexplored areas in the small full size bed. The smells of sweat and sex filled the room, while they worked actively to keep their noise level to a minimal.

As lust mixed with drugs, and exhaustion things began to blur. Exact details gave away to simply remembering the feeling of skin against skin, of endorphin releases as lips find sensitive spots, to the praises slipping freely. At some point Ali could recall convincing the boys to let her watch from Craig's computer chair. As her piercing eyes took in every shadow and expression to replicate later a shudder would follow. This has never happened before, and It feed her hunger for control. All the while also feeding her arousal whenever she dared to glance into glazed over eyes.

Normally she would watch until the release, but Tweek's pleading look had Ali out of her seat and back in the mix. Her lips eagerly seeking his while her hand wrapped around his dick. When they finally collapsed spent, Ali hummed contently spooning Tweek who had his face pressed into Craig's chest. An arm snaked under her head a warm fingers twirling the hair at the nap of her neck.

She never wanted to wake up.

Author's Note:

I want to thank everyone who has been here since the beginning, who has joined along the way, and anyone just now starting to read. These past few months have been a challenge, but I'm coming back.

I am also seeking a beta. If anyone is interested or if you know someone please PM here or to my twitter: rangertabbi

Everyone thank you again for all the support.