Post Season 2. I do not own these characters, I'm just a fan who enjoys writing about them.

It was unusually hot for the time of year. The sweat on the glass of pink lemonade had dribbled down into a pool of water on the coaster Farah insisted Dirk use.

The detective sighed heavily as he loosened his tie. This was a terrible time for the office air conditioner to break. Dirk lifted his arms and let the fan air out the damp spots under his arms. Maybe a long sleeve shirt was a mistake. Though Dirk wanted to look like a professional when people came into his office, and he couldn't quite fathom the tie with a short-sleeved shirt.

The door opened and in walked Todd, who had no problem wearing a t-shirt to work, and Farah, who looked both lovely and professional in a lightweight blouse. Dirk found himself wondering if there was such a functional and attractive shirt option for men.

"How's the air conditioner?" asked Dirk.

Todd unceremoniously dumped his small toolbox on the table. "We may have to call someone." He said.

"Which," said Farah "is what I said exactly one hour and forty-seven minutes ago when we first looked at it. It was clearly beyond the youtube tutorial and should not have been attempted without professional supervision."

"We didn't know that until we tried." Said Todd.

"No, actually I did know. It was nothing like the problem we anticipated, it was clearly beyond our skill level, and your tinkering took what was probably a very fixable problem into a whole new level issue. And you hurt yourself."

Todd looked over at Dirk. "It wasn't that bad."

Farah crossed her arms. "Bleeding stopped yet?"

"Mostly." He muttered.

"I'll call a repairman." Said Dirk as he crossed into the next room to use the landline. There was something charming and romantic about having a landline. He flipped open the phone book he'd found at the door of the office. He happened to glance up and saw Todd and Farah in the other room. Farah reached over and took Todd's hand, which had a rag wrapped around it where he had been hurt. She unwrapped it and looked at the wound.

It was a perfectly normal gesture. One that she would have done towards Dirk if he had been the one injured. But it was somehow different. Dirk couldn't exactly place it. He wasn't very good at interpreting nonverbal communication, so he noticed nothing for a long time. Then it clicked. He saw the connection, even if he didn't totally understand what it meant. The way she cradled his hand. The way he moved towards her instead of pulling away. How he was looking at her face instead of his injured hand. Dirk knew the two of them had had some romantic encounters during their time on the run together. They never talked about it. The only reason Dirk knew at all was because they told him when they were under the love spell. It's not that they seemed ashamed of it. It was more… well, he really wasn't sure. He'd catch them sometimes exchanging looks he didn't understand. Or he'd walk into a room and they would suddenly move away from each other when they saw him. The last time Amanda was in town, she and Dirk talked about it. They could hear Todd laughing from the other room. Farah's musical laugh followed.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Good lord. It's like listening to mating calls in the wild. Are they always like this?"

"I'm not sure what you mean by 'like this', but seeing as they are behaving exactly the same way I've come to expect, I will say yes."

"Why don't they just get it over with?" asked Amanda.

"Get what over with?"

"This… thing. This attraction to each other that they won't really acknowledge but can't seem to shake."

Dirk looked over at Amanda. "Why don't they then? If they both want to date, why not go for it?"

"I said they were attracted to each other. That doesn't necessarily mean they want to date. And even if they do, a lot is at stake. They have a history together and this business and they're friends and weird stuff happens a lot in our world. And I can't speak for Farah, but Todd has a pretty abysmal track record when it comes to dating. As much as I wish they would just go for it, they're probably too scared of what could go wrong." She shrugged. "Or I guess, it could just be a chemical attraction thing."

"No." said Dirk "I don't think it is."

"Why not?" asked Amanda.

"Don't know. I just feel it."

Another round of laughs rose in the other room.

"It's annoying." Said Amanda.

Dirk shrugged. "I'm used to it."

As Dirk watched Farah bandage Todd's hand, he wondered about the unspoken conversation they were having. He reached for the phone and was almost touching the receiver when it rang. He took a moment to collect himself from being startled, and then answered.

"Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. What strange or seemingly trivial situation can we assist you with today?"

Todd was thankful for the air conditioner in the car. So thankful in fact that he closed his eyes and happily blocked out the thought that Dirk was driving like a blindfolded puppy.

"Do you miss driving?" Dirk asked.

That pulled Todd out of the moment. "What?"

"Do you miss it? I mean, you used to drive a lot before you got sick, didn't you? Is it difficult, you know, not… anymore?"

Todd tensed up. It was one of the questions he preferred not to think about. One of the most infuriating things about Dirk was also one of the most endearing. He would ask the questions that other people wouldn't, but often needed to be asked.

"Yeah." He said "I miss it."

"You haven't had an attack in a while." Said Dirk. "Maybe we could go to a large parking lot or…"

"Thanks, but, it's not the same. And even without being on the road, it's just too dangerous to put me behind the wheel. I mean, that's a pretty huge what if."

"Is… is it hard? Not being able to do that anymore?"

Todd shrugged. "I mean, when it first happened, I was with Farah trying to get away from Blackwing and she had all the training if we encountered trouble, so it made sense for her to drive. By the time it would have even been an option for me, the list of things I missed in my life went way beyond driving. And then we found you and Amanda and life got easier and I guess I'm mostly just relieved that life is better now."

"Is it?" Dirk asked. "Better, I mean."

A small smile made its way across Todd's face. "Well, yeah. I mean, I have a cool job, even if it is sometimes terrifying. I have you and Farah in my life. Amanda is happy doing her thing and actually speaking to me again. My disease is mostly manageable. Blackwing is leaving us alone. I feel like things are pretty good."

Dirk smiled that weird smile he did where he looked like he was so happy he could cry. It made Todd slightly uncomfortable since he wasn't sure if he was supposed to smile back or comfort him or what. So instead, he changed the subject.

"You left Farah the address, right? In case her thing ends early."

"Yes. Though I don't think she will. She seemed to feel that her meeting with her contact was more important than coming along with us."

Todd shrugged. "Well, she's been meeting with him periodically since we got back. He's been good about keeping her updated on weird government stuff."

"Are you worried?" asked Dirk.

"About what?" asked Todd.

"About how much time she is spending with him."

Todd glared at Dirk. "He's her brother!" Then he quickly added "Not that it matters. She can meet whoever she wants. That's her business."

Dirk rolled his eyes. Todd had noticed that his eye rolls were reminding him more and more of Amanda's. "I mean what he may have found that is causing them to meet so often. Also, he's not exactly fond of you. More time spent with him will not work in your favor."

It was Todd's turn to do an Amanda eye roll.

They finally pulled up to the estate. The home was old and expensive and made of brick. There was a simple, but exquisitely maintained yard full of trees older than the home, and cobblestone paths that snaked through the gardens.

An ancient butler greeted them wordlessly at the door. He led them through the home at his hobbling, slow pace. Todd tried to memorize the path back, but after countless twists and turns, he gave up and hoped they would not have to exit the place quickly.

Two heavy, wooden doors led to a library. Sitting at an antique desk was an old woman. She stood to greet them. Todd guessed she was in her early 80s. She was tiny and frail looking, but she still moved with a bit of youthful spark.

"Which of you gentlemen is Dirk Gently?" she asked.

"That would be me." Said Dirk as he stepped forward to shake her hand. "This is my assistant, Todd."

She shook Todd's hand and he couldn't help but notice all the jewels on her fingers. It made him a little anxious to be that close to such expensive jewelry. How could she not be terrified of someone trying to take a ring that would cost him a years rent? He didn't even like walking around with $100 in his pocket for fear of it being lost or stolen.

He also noticed that her hands were shaking, thought he was pretty certain it was not from age. She was afraid of something.

"Please." She said as she gestured to the two empty chairs at the desk. "Can Fredrick get you anything?"

"No, ma'am." Said Dirk "We just want to know why you called us."

The woman nodded and gestured to her butler, who brought a wooden box that he set on the table. The box looked old, but meticulously maintained. Like a prize exhibit in a museum. It was covered in intricate carvings in a language Todd had never seen.

"My father," she said "was an archaeologist. He traveled the world uncovering ancient civilizations. Go to any noteworthy museum and you will see the spoils of his travels." The woman paused and looked at them. "I want you to understand that my father was not a thief. He took all discoveries to the proper authorities. Our family fortune was partly inheritance and partly from his books and lectures on archaeology. He never kept the valuables he found. Except for this."

Her eyes fell to the box before her. Todd felt a shiver and hoped it was just a draft.

"He never told anyone what it was or where he found it. If he hadn't died unexpectedly, I don't know that I would have ever found it at all those many years ago."

"What is it?" Todd asked.

"A stone." She said "I had no idea why he kept it. Then I found the notes. Books upon books of notes my father wrote down. At first, I thought they were the stories about the people groups he was studying. But the words didn't sound like him. If not for the handwriting, I'd never have suspected they were his notebooks."

"How are those connected to the stone?" asked Dirk, who looked entirely too excited about the story.

"At first, I thought it wasn't. And then, I started having these amazingly realistic dreams. Then vivid daydreams. And I realized they were about the people and stories in the notebooks, including ones I had not yet read."

Dirk grabbed Todd's wrist under the desk. Dirk's eyes were still on the box, but his hand was squeezing Todd's wrist so hard that it was cutting off circulation.

Todd twisted his arm away from Dirk's grip. "Why did you call us?" he asked.

"I admit, you are not the first. I have, on several occasions over several decades, hired people to try and help me understand the mystery of this artifact. I will warn you, strange things happen to those who have encountered the stone."

Todd swallowed. "What kind of strange things?"

"Besides the dreams and the voices, there are those who seemed honest, who tried to steal it from me and pretend to have no knowledge that I ever gave it to them. One man vanished and left the stone behind. I tracked him down many years later living in another country under a false name. Another brought it back to me and begged me to take it and never revealed why. Even my dear Fredrick lost his ability to speak as a result of the stone." She lowered her gaze. "I would understand completely if you did not want to take this case."

Todd felt himself leaning away from the box. Unlike Dirk, who was leaning towards it.

"What of the box?" Dirk asked.

"It appears to shield the outside world from its effects. Open the lid… well, that is when unusual things begin to happen."

Dirk reached for Todd's wrist again and Todd swatted his hand away.

"I want to know what it is that my father found." She said as she pushed the box towards them.

If Todd leaned any further back, his chair would have tipped over.

"Of course!" said Dirk as he excitedly reached for the box.

The old woman placed her hand on his. "Be careful." She said "I truly have no idea what this could be capable of." She looked him in the eye. "I'm told that you have a talent for uncovering the truth in… unusual situations."

"Don't worry." Said Dirk "This mystery is as good as solved."

Farah stood silently at the rendezvous point. She felt his presence before she saw him.

"Hello, Eddie."

"Farah." He said as she turned to him.

"What is it?" she asked "You never ask to meet this close together."

He looked around in a way that looked casual to the untrained eye, but Farah knew there was nothing casual about it. He was worried they were being watched.

"Blackwing. Watch out. I know they have been leaving you alone for a while, but I have reason to believe that your safety may be in danger."

"What evidence do you have?"

"None." He said "A hunch."

"A hunch? You called me in here in person for a hunch."

He narrowed his gaze. "I've been watching them for a while. Which has not been easy. I've never tracked a group so good at keeping their real activities hidden. It's a miracle I ever found them in the first place. And their moves are shifting. There is a balance of power that is about to tip. I strongly believe that this will put you and your 'friends', in danger."

"Anything more specific I can go on?" she asked.

"No."

"Well, good talk. I'll be sure to keep my eyes open." She began to walk away.

"Farah." He said. She paused and turned back to him. "I can still protect you. I still care about you. We can bury the hatchet between us and you can start over."

"I know." She said "Thank you. Goodbye."

Farah made it back to the office just as the repairmen were leaving. She walked into the room as the air conditioning kicked on. She began closing all of the office windows.

"Meow."

She looked over and saw a black cat that had pushed through the spot where the screen didn't fully attach to the window.

"Well, hello." She said as the cat approached her. It was cautious at first, and then began rubbing on her legs and purring.

"Poor thing." Farah said as she petted its fur. It looked thin. "Want some milk?" She walked to the office kitchenette and poured some coffee cream into a little bowl, which the cat lapped up hungrily.

Farah heard the door open and went to see who came in.

"This is a bad idea." Said Todd.

"Oh come on!" said Dirk "You know how this works. We don't choose the case. And I'm sure it's not really all that bad."

"What is it? Farah asked as she entered the main office.

"Dirk agreed to investigate an ancient, cursed, demon stone that makes people hallucinate or lose their ability to speak and had already driven multiple detectives insane." Said Todd with no small amount of agitation in his voice.

"Wait, what?" said Farah.

"It's fine." Said Dirk. "As long as it's in this box, it can't hurt us." He said as he placed it on the desk.

"We think." Todd corrected. "We have no way of knowing if that box will actually keep us safe. And it's from some old civilization and screws with people's heads and now we have it and what the hell is that thing doing here?!"

Farah saw that Todd was looking behind her. She turned and saw the cat enter the room and then it rubbed on her legs and meowed. Dirk and Todd were frozen in fear.

"Farah," Todd said quietly "stay calm. Don't move."

"What?" said Farah "It's a cat."

"It's not a cat." Said Dirk "Don't make any sudden moves."

Just then, a rock crashed through the window. Farah and Todd jumped, Dirk screamed, and the cat transformed into a shark.

Todd ducked as the electric ghost shark flew over his head. Thankfully, it seemed more startled than angry, so it wasn't swooping down to kill. It did, however, crash into the desk. The box was falling. If it opened, who knew what kind of danger Farah and Dirk would be in. Todd dove for it and fumbled trying to get a firm grip. The shark made another pass over his head and he dropped underneath the falling box. He successfully caught it… upside down. The lid opened and the stone landed on his chest.

When the shark calmed down and turned back into a cat, Farah immediately got up off the floor to assess the situation. The cat ran back into the kitchen, probably to hide. Dirk was still curled up in a ball on the floor. Then she saw Todd. He was laying on his back, box at his side, and a green stone the size of a goose egg was on his chest.

Farah ran to him and saw he was trembling and his eyes were darting rapidly back and forth.

She reached for the stone and Dirk grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away.

"The box is safe!" he cried.

Farah picked up the box and carefully scooped the stone into it and closed the lid. Todd's eyes immediately rolled up into his head as he passed out.

So much strangeness had happened over the course of 30 seconds that Farah didn't know what to address first.

"The shark." Said Farah "We have to secure the shark before it hurts anyone."

Dirk nodded. "I'll stay with Todd."

Farah walked quietly into the kitchenette and saw the cat cowering under a table. She reached into a drawer and took out the sleeping pills her doctor prescribed but she never took. She opened the capsules and added it to a new bowl of cream. The cat crept out and began to drink. Eventually, it stretched and went to sleep. Farah took out an animal carrier that Dirk kept around "just in case" and gently placed the cat inside. It wouldn't do much good if it decided to shark out again, but as long as it was calm, it would keep it contained. She then raced out to check on Todd.

"Is he alright?" she asked.

Dirk looked scared. "No idea. No change. Do we take him to a doctor? Tell them a magic rock fell on him and we don't know what to do?"

"Speaking of rocks," said Farah "who threw that one in the window? And why?"

Todd moaned and they both stared at him intently. He opened his eyes slowly and seemed to be unsure of what he was seeing.

"It's ok, Todd." Said Dirk "We all survived the shark attack."

"What?" said Todd.

"How do you feel?" asked Farah.

"Um… fine. I guess." He said as he glanced back and forth between them.

Farah reached for his hand and he pulled away.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

He stared at her. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Well," said Dirk "we had a shark explosion and…"

Todd pushed himself up and scrambled away from them.

"Todd," said Farah "what is it?"

"How do you know my name?" he demanded.

Farah's eyes widened. "What?"

"You heard me!" he barked "Who are you?!"

Dirk was trying hard not to panic. Mostly because Todd seemed to be panicking enough for both of them. Todd was backing away from them, eyes wide with fear.

"Who are you? How do you know my name? Did you kidnap me?"

"Kidnap… Todd, we're your friends." Dirk gestured to himself. "I'm your best friend, Dirk. And this is Farah your… other… best friend?"

"Todd," Farah said gently "you know us. Don't you remember?"

Todd shook his head. "You're lying. I don't know either of you."

"Look," said Dirk "it's us. Your friends. Let's just all take a moment to breathe deeply and…"

Todd made a break for the door. It was so surprising that he almost made it. But Farah tackled him and pinned him to the floor.

"Let me go!" he screamed "My friends will be looking for me! They'll find me! You can't keep me here!"

"Snap out of it!" cried Farah "We're trying to help you!"

Todd was trying desperately to escape from Farah's iron strong hold.

Dirk pulled out his phone. "Here!" he said "This proves it!"

On the phone was a picture of the three of them together and smiling.

"It's us." Said Dirk "We went to the movies. Don't you remember? You got mad when I spilled your popcorn."

Todd stopped struggling and stared at the picture.

"That can't be me." He said in a shaky voice.

"Of course it is!" said Dirk as he began scrolling through the pictures. "Here you are eating tacos at the taco truck down the street. And here we all are in front of the agency sign. And here are you and Farah looking annoyed that I'm taking your picture. And here's last Christmas and…"

Farah released Todd, who snatched the phone and stared at the photo in his hands.

"That's not me." He repeated. "It can't be."

"Of course it is!" exclaimed Dirk "Who else could it be?"

Todd shoved the phone into Dirk's hand. "I don't look like that."

Farah looked at him. "What do you mean you don't look like that? You're Todd Brotzman, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Of course. And I can see the resemblance with that guy, but he's not me. I mean, you have to see the difference. Your friend must have realized we look a lot alike and started using my name. Maybe he's a fan or something. Just, please let me go." His eyes were pleading.

"This is you." Dirk said as he gestured to the picture. "How can you not see it?"

"How can you not see that I'm not? Please, please if you're looking for money, I'll get it from the band. But you have to let me go."

He looked so scared and he wasn't making any sense. Dirk had no idea what to do.

"Todd," said Farah slowly "what do you see?" She handed him a small mirror from her purse.

Todd looked confused, but he took the mirror and looked at his reflection. The level of horror that flashed over his face made Dirk feel sick.

"No…" Todd said quietly as he reached up and touched his face and his hair. "What happened?" he looked up and cried "What happened to me?"

"Just… calm down?" Dirk said, unsure of what else to say.

"Hold on." Said Farah "I have a theory. Todd, how old are you?"

"Nineteen." He answered.