Kakashi paused his cooing over the white haired baby. She reached out for him with stubby fingers, wiggling on top of her blanket spread out on the living room floor. Had he just been trying to convince this baby to say "Dada?"

Whose baby was this?

She grabbed his hair and tugged.

"Sweetie, we're going to be late for dinner at Naruto's." Sakura came in, fixing her earrings.

Kakashi gently pried the tiny fingers out of his hair. "Sweetie?"

She kneeled down at his side, not minding that she was too close, pressing a hand to his forehead. "No fever. You're not sick, so stop pretending."

Hm. He figured this was a bizarre dream where he was married to Sakura. He looked at the baby. A little Hatake, by that logic. He had to admit, his baby was pretty cute. Well, let's see how far this could go.

She ushered him upstairs and he got dressed in the clothes laid out for him on the bed in the room they apparently shared. According to her, he would only waste more time trying to decide what to wear. This dream was at least true to the real Sakura. Strange that there seemed to be no sign of Sarada, however. A dream didn't need to make perfect sense, so even if Sakura had never married Sasuke, Sarada could still be around. He didn't think he subconsciously had something against Sakura's daughter. He actually liked her quite well, in comparison to other young people he knew.

When Kakashi came back downstairs, he found Sakura bent over her child, much like he'd been at the beginning of the dream.

"Mama," she mouthed in an exaggerated way, smiling when the baby gurgled happily. Glancing up at him, she asked, "Has she said anything to you?"

"Uh, not yet."

"I'm convinced she's a little genius and she'll start talking any day now. Didn't you say you started talking when you were four months old?"

"Yea…" He supposed dream-Sakura would know that if she was his significant other. He caught sight of the rings on both of their left hands.

"You clean up well, Mr. Hatake." She slunk up to him, pressing him back against the wall, her round hips flush against his. He gulped. She put her lips next to his ear. "Maybe after dinner, we could…?"

Heaven help him. He never knew she could sound so sensual. His head felt light as he urged his cock to stand down. Her lips hovered over his. He could close the gap and taste them easily if he wanted to. Somehow, this felt right—but if he had enough control to remember reality, he didn't want to think of this dream every time he saw her. It would just be a reminder of something that could not be. He just wasn't sure if he could resist if she continued like this.

Thankfully (he told himself) she pulled away, winking, her hand tracing a lingering line down his torso before drawing back. He remained frozen against the wall, staring at her with wide eyes. She didn't notice, putting the baby in a carrier and handing the whole thing to him. He obediently took hold, asking the baby silently what all of this meant.

"I fed Chihiro already so hopefully she won't fuss too much," Sakura said.

Chihiro? The baby's name. …His mother's name.

He looked around the living room, scattered with colorful toys and picture books. He looked at Sakura, who took his hand, kissing his scarred knuckles. He looked at the baby.

It was just a dream that had to end eventually.

An impossible dream.

So why did some part of him wish it were real?

#

Things were starting to get back to normal for Sakura. No more dreams. Well, just the usual ones that made no sense. They didn't have startling details about the possibility of another life. She barely ever saw Kakashi either. When he returned the plastic container she'd lent him, he hadn't done it in person. She found it left on her counter with a note that simply said, "Thanks."

She also had him to thank for Sarada coming home from training sessions with electricity burns.

"You have to be more careful. This is the third time this week," Sakura chided. She healed the veins now fully visible on Sarada's body, colored red against her pale skin, branching out like delicate coral down her thin arm and shoulders.

"I almost got it. I just need to ask the Rokudaime a few more questions, but I haven't been able to find him." Sarada swung her legs impatiently as she sat in the chair. Her legs were too short to touch the floor yet. With her free hand, she took the glass of iced milk tea off of the table, sipping it through the straw.

"If he doesn't want to be found, you will never find him." Sakura noticed a few scrapes on Sarada's hands too. Sometimes, she thought her daughter was more reckless than Naruto because Sarada knew she could always come back home and get fixed up anytime.

"I bet I could find him." Sarada's black eyes glinted from the challenge.

Sakura poked her daughter's forehead, laughing gently. "Oh?"

"Yea."

"Do you think you could find him before me?"

Sarada hesitated then said, "I mean I could try."

"You're on, missy."

"Wha—is this a bet?" Sarada's eyes widened. "What do I get if I win?"

"Hmm…what do you want?"

"I don't want to take out the trash for a week. No, a month!"

"Okay, but if I win," Sakura paused in consideration. An image floated up from her memories. Without thinking, she softly said, "You have to help me plant a garden."

Sarada frowned. "A garden? Isn't it a little late for that?"

Sakura straightened, realizing what she had suggested. No taking it back now. "The weather's getting warmer, but it's not too hot just yet. I'm going to the flower shop to pick up some seeds and stuff today."

"Okay." Sarada shrugged, looking over her newly healed hand. She tested out a fist. "I'm going to start looking for the Rokudaime right now."

With that, she ran out the door, Sakura calling out after her to be safe. Since Sakura had the day off, she took her time, doing the dishes, vacuuming the house, and picking up those seeds from the Yamanaka family's shop.

"If you're just starting out, try the tomatoes and sunflowers. Beans are fairly easy too," Sai said. He wore a green apron over his normal all black attire, pointing out the seed packets with a gloved hand.

"Ino's not around today?" Sakura asked.

"Just stepped out to visit the farm. Hydrangeas should be coming in soon, with summer and all."

"I love hydrangeas. Do you think I could plant some of those too?"

"I'll ask Ino if you could get a cutting."

"They don't grow from seeds?"

"They do, but it's much easier to grow if you get a cutting."

Sakura beamed at him. "I never thought you'd become such a green thumb."

"Well, it's the family business." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Just these for me. Oh, and those lilacs in a bouquet please," she said, handing him her choices.

He went over the register, punching in the numbers. "Are the flowers for someone at the hospital?"

"No. I'm going to visit the cenotaph." She counted out the money and slid it over to him.

"Ah." Sai gave her back her change then went over to the bucket filled with lilacs. He pulled out a few stalks, shaking out the water they were sitting in. "Any accents to add?"

"Those will do just fine. Simple is better."

He nodded, wrapping the flowers in cellophane and tying them off. He handed the bouquet to her. "Say hello to Neji for me."

Sakura breathed in the scent of lilacs, smiling. "I will."

#

She spotted Kakashi sitting by the cenotaph, leaning against it with his long legs stretched out in the grass. She knew he'd already sensed her approaching, but he didn't look up from the worn copy of Icha Icha in his hand. She laid down the flowers then touched the stone in greeting.

She noticed the half empty bottle of sake by Kakashi's side and was glad Sarada had not found him first. His mask was down too. "Drinking in broad daylight," she said flatly.

"It doesn't make it any sadder if I drink at night instead," he pointed out. Despite the strong smell of alcohol surrounding him, he sounded perfectly sober.

"Is something wrong?" She sat down next to him, not missing the way he shrank away from her.

"Life is a meaningless joke," he muttered, taking another swig of sake.

"You always say that." But he usually did it with a smile. She never got the full details of his life, but she knew enough to understand the scars that had never quite fully healed.

"And I meant it."

"How much sake have you been drinking?" She wrinkled her nose. The smell was overpowering—not something you got after only half a bottle.

"This is my first of the day." He swirled the contents inside the glass. He winked. "Of sake."

"Okay." She made to grab for the bottle out of his hand. "Give it here."

"Uh uh." He stuck it in his mouth and began chugging.

This impossible man-baby. She wrestled him down, pinning him with her weight. He could have gotten away if he hadn't kept trying to drink. She ripped the bottle out of his grip, tossing it into the distance with her chakra enhanced strength.

"Litter bug." He pointed at her then let his head drop back onto the ground.

"You'll thank me when your hangover is less painful than it should be." She patted his cheek.

He seized her hand, pressing it to his face, eyes closed. She stilled. The turmoil in his expression smoothed away as he took a deep breath. His skin was warm beneath her touch, with the faint graze of stubble.

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly. Her hair had come loose, the long pink strands dropping like a curtain around them.

"Pretending."

Her heart thumped. "About what?"

"Can't come up with a good lie right now, sorry."

"But you always lie."

"I can't about this." He opened his eyes and she felt like he could see right into her very core. It stole the air from her lungs. He released her hand. "You should go."

"No, tell me." She moved off of him, but stayed on the ground.

He didn't look at her, standing up. He pulled the mask back into place. "If you won't go, I'll go instead."

"Kakashi," she warned.

He formed the hand seals and was gone in a puff of smoke.

Sakura sat there, long after he was gone. He'd left behind his copy of Icha Icha. That was how much he'd wanted to get away from her. She clenched her fingers into the grass, pulling out handfuls.

Later, when Sarada came home, she sat at the table grumbling while Sakura cooked dinner, "I couldn't find him anywhere. Did you find him, mom?"

"No. It looks like we both lost." Sakura used the long cooking sticks to roll up the layers of egg in the pan.

"I can still help with the garden though." Sarada picked up one of the seed packets, reading the instructions on the back.

"That's very sweet of you, but you still have to take out the trash."

"Boo." Sarada wrinkled her nose, sticking out her tongue.

They shared a simple meal of rice, tamagoyaki and the parsnip kinpura Sakura had made the day before. Sarada told her about the efforts to locate Kakashi—including looking inside the nostrils of the Yondaime on the Hokage Monument.

"Now why would he have been in there?" Sakura laughed.

"Boruto's dad said that he might be."

"I think Naruto sent you on a wild goose chase."

"It's not a very funny joke." Sarada pouted.

"Naruto's jokes are only funny to himself." Sakura picked up a piece of kinpura and placed it in her mouth.

"How is he the Hokage…"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

"Hey, mom?"

"Hmm?" The tamagoyaki was a little salty rather than sweet. She'd have to keep that in mind next time.

"Why did the Rokudaime retire so early?" Sarada pushed her glasses back into place.

Sakura considered it. "I don't think he ever really wanted the job."

"Why not?" Sarada's brow wrinkled. "Isn't being Hokage the best job a shinobi can hold?"

There were a lot of answers Sakura could give. Kakashi was lazy. He hated responsibility. He was too noncommittal.

But none of those were quite the truth.

"He cares too much. It takes a lot out of him, so he likes to pretend not to care at all." Sakura set her chopsticks down over her empty bowl. "Very few people are close to him for that reason."

"That doesn't make sense."

Sakura laughed, gathering up the dirty dishes. "Don't try to make sense of him. You'll just get a headache."