Title: Endings and Beginnings

Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End (part 1 of 3)

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS LA or the characters. I just enjoy writing about them in this forum. I don't know if this story could actually happen. From what I researched, it would be very difficult, so you'll just have to go with me on this and believe in the fact that Hetty holds a lot of power and influence worldwide.

Summary: This is a story that just sort of came to me. It explores what might finally motivate Kensi and Deeks to end their careers with NCIS Office of Special Projects and begin their family. The story begins at Michelle's funeral, but then takes off in its own direction. Events and cases from season 9 are not necessarily brought up.

Rating: T - This one is T because there is mention of miscarriage and at some point there will be mention of possible abuse; nothing too violent or graphic. Also, you never know when I may throw in a curse word or have Densi get a little frisky.

The Beginning of the End

Deeks reaches over for Kensi's hand and links their fingers while waiting for the last few people to take their seats as Michelle's service is about to start. They've both been lost in their own thoughts for most of the day and haven't talked much except to check in on how the other is doing. After reaching out to squeeze Sam's hand as he passes them on his way to take his seat, Kensi turns to Deeks resting her other hand atop their already joined ones. She reveals to him one of the thoughts that has been haunting her mind today. "I keep thinking that you nearly had to do this for me. It's scary and so painful to think about not being with you and you having to go through this."

"I can't breath every time I think about it," Deeks admits raising her hands to his lips.

"There's so much I want to do in my life and with you. I love protecting people and our nation, but I have enough nightmares to last a lifetime. I might not be ready tomorrow, but sometime soon."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?' he asks hardly believing he's hearing these words from her after she fought so hard to come back from her injuries.

She nods with tears in her eyes; tears for Michelle, tears for Granger, tears for all the others they've lost, and the tears of realization that she is going to step away from this job she loves sooner rather than later.

As he readjusts his hold on her hand, he promises, "We'll find another way to contribute to society and help people."

It's nearly a year later when she exits the mission bathroom, gives a slight shake of her head in the negative, and tears she'd hoped to keep at bay fill her eyes. She'd hoped to keep them at bay because she already knew. She could feel it, and she'd already cried. They both had.

Deeks gathers her in his arms. She had a positive pregnancy test a little over a week ago, but has been spotting for 2 days, and today's test tells them for certain that they are no longer pregnant.

"I'm okay," she tries to tell him and herself as she wipes her eyes with her arms still wrapped tightly around him. She rapidly amends that statement before he can probe her on it. "I'm not okay, but I will be. At least I can go with you guys to Syria." Deeks had insisted on the pregnancy test to be sure she really isn't pregnant before she gets on a plane with them to go track down a terrorist cell in Syria that had nearly carried out an attack on a U. S. naval base. "This will be my last mission." She finally pulls the trigger on what she's been trying to do for months as she pulls back a little to look up at him. "Maybe I can get a last little bit of closure, and then we can focus 100% on getting married and starting a family."

Twenty-two hours later Deeks is hunched over with hands on his thighs taking a few deep breaths as he makes sure their equipment is ready to load onto the chopper for the last leg of their journey. Sam comes up behind him and claps him on the shoulder. "I think Kens could use her partner. She's looking a little green over there. I've rarely seen her look like that."

"I know. I'm just trying to pull myself together first. Seeing that chopper is bringing back a lot of horrific memories. Phew, I need to get it together for her," he shares with Sam as he tries to fend off what he can only guess is a panic attack.

"She doesn't need you to be strong for her Deeks, never has. She just needs you next to her going through this with her as you always have," Sam advises.

"Yeah, Thanks man," Deeks gasps and grasps Sam's arm in gratitude as he straightens up.

When Deeks walks back over by Kensi he lightly scratches her back to get her attention. When he has it, he inclines his head toward the side of the building so they can have some privacy. She follows him around the corner.

"How are you doing baby?" he asks pulling her into his arms and kissing her forehead.

"Not great. I'm queasy and I can't stop shaking. Even though I've been on one at home, and I know we most likely will have a safe flight; I still really don't want to get on that thing," she responds honestly throwing a disgusted glare toward the helicopter they have to board in about five minutes.

"Neither do I," he admits. "I can't promise you that everything is going to go perfectly on this mission, but I can promise that I'll be with you every moment. We're going to get these guys and get the hell out of here in one piece. So what do you say partner, one more time?"

His words remind her of how they've gotten through all of the other times they've been scared together. They'll get through this too.

"Yeah, one more time," she agrees bringing her hands up to his cheeks and leaning in for a kiss. "We never really got the chance to talk about how you're dealing with losing the baby," she says softly letting her hands slip to his shoulders.

"I should be asking you that," he returns concerned.

"Sweetheart, you have, like twelve times," she laughs. "It's your turn," she insists with the most loving look in her eyes.

"I'm sad of course, but I feel like I barely had time to be excited. I feel like the loss is bigger for you." She gives a slight nod of understanding. She had suspected she was pregnant for a few days before she told him of these suspicions. She did have longer to dream, and hope, and plan. "It's still a loss for you too baby," she reminds him.

"I know," he agrees sliding his hands from her hips around to her lower back. "But I also know we're meant to be a family. Whenever it happens, however it happens; it will happen when it's meant to."

"I love you so much Martin Deeks," she declares as her eyes glass over with tears and she pulls him in for another kiss.

"I love you too Kensi Marie Blye," he proclaims after the kiss. "Who would have thought when we started this ride that we'd end up here?"

"We did!" Callen answers confidently as the boys stroll up,

"Yeah, Kensi was…" Sam tries to add.

"Stop, don't you dare!" Kensi interrupts threateningly holding up an admonishing finger at them as she turns toward the guys and Deeks drops his arms from her waist. She knows she's about to be ganged up on by her three men, and she's not about to let that happen.

"Sorry to intrude, but we've got to go," Callen informs.

"All right, let's do this!" Kensi says with bravado she isn't necessarily feeling on the inside.

"Wait!" Deeks calls her back after Sam and Callen are out of earshot, and then asks with a playful smile, "What exactly were Sam and Callen trying to say?"

"You know the stuck, smitten story."

"Which you deny," he adds.

"I was intrigued and entertained at best, which leads us back to what you said: Who would've thought we'd end up here? It's been one hell of a ride partner," she says holding out her hand.

He clasps her hand and tries to pull her back toward him. "One more for luck," he requests.

She pulls him in the opposite direction. "We've got to go. Kiss me when we land."

Thank you for reading, favoriting, and reviewing. This is a three part story. I wasn't going to post chapter 1 this weekend because I'm not done with the story yet. Chapter 2 is almost done, so I decided to post for the non Superbowl fans. I'm planning to post Chapter 2 next weekend, but I'm really excited about how Chapter 2 is turning out so maybe it will get done sooner. I hope you enjoy!