Day 3 of Jancy Fanfic Week, the theme is comedy so I return to a favourite subject: Mike's perspective on Nancy and Jonathan's relationship.

Jonathan's cool, he'll admit that. And his sister has become… not the worst lately, and he thinks it might correlate with her dumping Steve and going out with Jonathan instead. But that doesn't mean he's a fan of his sister dating his best friend's brother. It was disturbing, really. Frankly sickening. He'd asked Will what he thought about it but he'd just shrugged and said he was happy that Jonathan was happy and that "Nancy is cool" which was a statement he wildly disagrees with. Maybe Will's in denial or he doesn't see what he sees. Because by God, the things he's witnessed.

Like the way they looked at each other in the car when Jonathan was taking them home the day after El closed the Gate and the two of them along with Mrs. Byers exorcised the Mindflayer out of Will. He'd asked them if they were dating now. He'd had to ask. He'd been sort of preoccupied earlier but now when shit had calmed down he had time to reflect on the fact that Nancy went AWOL for days only to roll back into town together with Jonathan right in time to get them out of the Lab. And she hadn't left his side since.

Jonathan blushed and looked to Nancy who looked back to Jonathan with ridiculous hearteyes.

"Yes," she said.

The corners of Jonathan's lips turned upwards and he got dimples on his cheeks. His sister smiled back and took Jonathan's hand in hers. It was disgusting.

"You lied," he noted.

"What?" Nancy asked.

"Last year, when you said you didn't like Jonathan."

"Shut up!" Nancy went beatred. Jonathan chuckled slightly (since when does Jonathan chuckle?!) and looked away. "You lied too! You like Eleven!"

"Shut up!"

But okay, he wouldn't mind it, the two of them dating. If they could just please keep it private. A week later he strolled into the kitchen, minding his own business, only to encounter his sister with her back against the fridge and Jonathan's tongue down her throat. And then she got mad at him?!

Even worse was it the time he got home from The Palace and went into the basement. His territory, only to find, to his horror, Nancy straddling Jonathan on the couch, making out.

"Why here?!" He had cried when they stood up, embarrassed.

"Well we couldn't be in my room because mom is upstairs," she explained like that was a reasonable excuse.

"Why, why do you have to be like this?"

"Grow up, Mike."

"I'm gonna tell Mom!"

"No you won't!" Nancy said, stabbing him in the chest with her finger and nailing him with her most menacing look, the one he knows means he'll get his ass handed to him if he keeps pushing it.

"Yessum."

Nancy then turned around and grabbed Jonathan's hand, pulling him up the basement stair and saying they should go for a drive instead. He did not want to think about what that entailed.

He asked mom the day after if they could get a new couch for the basement, he asked three times even. But all he got was three refusals and a kick on the shins from under the table by Nancy. He's still considering burning it. He always makes sure to sit in the opposite corner to where he found them whenever he and the guys watch a movie now.

So he's not safe from them in the comfort of his own home. And not out in public either. For some reason they decided to volunteer to chaperone the Snow Ball. At first he thought it was embarrassing to have his sister there, but he had to admit she was right in saying that it could've been worse – their mom could've volunteered instead. And then it turned in to the best night of his life when El walked in. She looked so beautiful and he was happier than he ever thought he could be when he saw her. She told him later that Nancy had helped her get ready. So his sister did have her moments. Then again, when the dance ended and everyone headed for the exit they found Nancy pressing Jonathan up against the door of the supply closet and he thought he'd actually die from embarrassment.

And when he and the rest of the Party went to see Terminator when Jonathan was working a few weeks later Nancy was sitting on the counter – which he's sure he could tell management about – kissing Jonathan. It took all of them to collectively loudly clear their throats to get Jonathan's attention. Another time, when they ran across to the high school to see if Jonathan could drive them to the comic book store they found them making out against his car. Okay Jonathan still agreed to take them when Will unleashed his best puppy dog look, but he forced the five of them to all squeeze into the backseat so Nancy could right upfront with him. And while they browsed there was suddenly a loud crashing sound. They all turned their heads and saw that the display stand showing the new releases was now on the ground, comics strewn over the floor. Nancy and Jonathan stood by it with their hands still on each other, looking guilty. And then his sister grabbed Jonathan's hand and pulled him out the door, quickly shouting that they would wait outside. The store clerk appeared and blamed them for the knocked over stand and they had to clean it up. He was furious with them. At least they apologized in the car later.

But nothing, nothing in his life would ever be worse than last Wednesday. It was worse than a Demogorgon attack. Hell, he'd rather take the Gate reopening than what he witnessed then. At dinner when their mother forced small talk as usual Nancy talked at length about a big History test she had coming up. After dinner she went up to her room to study. He went into his room to do the same but was done fairly quickly since Math is easy. So then he thought he'd do a nice thing and pay Nancy back the money he stole for the arcade awhile back. Because she wasn't the worst. She'd helped smooth over things with mom and dad who was still less than thrilled with his behavior. And she'd helped El get ready for the Snow Ball which he knows meant a lot to El. He collected the amount of coins he owed and went into her room.

He threw the coins straight up in the air and let out a shriek. Nancy screamed aswell and she and Jonathan struggled to cover themselves up. He averted his gaze and started to back out of the room.

"MIKE!" Nancy hissed.

"Doesn't anyone in this house knock?!" Jonathan asked, incredulous.

"I hate you guys," he stated before shutting the door behind him. He could hear Nancy locking it from the inside while he leaned against it, once again contemplating leaving the country.