I do not own Naruto

Ino spent the beginning of her Valentine's Day in tears.

God knows she had no reason to be- Sai had been sweetly attentive throughout the duration of her pregnancy (so she'd given him some unsubtle pointers- what about it? They were paying off in the form of foot massages, gifts, and sheer compliance) and she'd been lavished with attention as she wanted it.

Still, as she looked down at those cute heels that a.) she couldn't fit into because of her swollen feet, and b.) couldn't walk in anymore without tipping, Ino felt her chin wobble and lips tremble. She'd already spent nearly an hour trying to find something red that fit- because she'd be damned if she didn't celebrate the holiday properly- only to find that most of her old clothes just didn't fit anymore. She'd thrown a small temper tantrum at that, chucking an uncooperative blouse at the mirror, before finally finding her current pink sweater dress. She then wrassled her way into white leggings before doing her hair and makeup- thankfully something she excelled at that not even her demon spawn could take away from her.

Sadly, that was as far as she'd gotten before her current woes happened. Feeling an imminent meltdown, one which she refused to go through alone, Ino screwed up her face, tilted her head back, and screamed as loudly as she could.

Much to her fury, no footfalls hurried down the hall to comfort her. If anything, the house became quieter. Snorting with indignation, Ino threw open the door and marched down to the kitchen.

Shikamaru and Choji were staring down one another in an attempt to get the other to go and offer her assistance. She felt a brief curl of satisfaction in her gut that she still inspired such fear in them, but shoved it down in favor of teeth-gnashing rage, and maybe some self-pity.

"You two!" They turned to slowly look at her with identical looks of dread. Buttheads. "I know you heard me! What the hell!"

Choji moved first, awkwardly maintaining eye contact as he shoved some chips in his mouth. She snorted again. "Right. You're useless. You!" She swivelled her head to stare down Shikamaru. "You live with your own pregnant woman! Don't you have any paternal instincts?!"

He shrugged, and then slowly oozed into a slouched position, like a creep. "Temari's been pretty even-keeled." The 'unlike you' went unspoken, but Ino heard it anyway.

Another snort, then she drew a breath in preparation for the rant she was about to give because these fuckers, honestly. Choji cleared his throat, and she glared at him with daggers in her eyes. "What, Choji."

He fished another chip out of his bag, muttering, "Your skirt is caught in your leggings."

Ino paused, one hand propped on her hip, and the other pointed accusingly in her friends' general direction. Upon looking, the bit of skirt towards her rear on Choji's side was indeed tucked up into her waistband. "Oh." She fixed it, then snapped her attention back up for a scolding.

Abruptly, she found that all of her angry momentum was gone, leaving her with those stirrings of self pity. Said stirrings rapidly devolved into deep, overwhelming sadness.

When Choji and Shikamaru looked at her again, Ino was still frozen in her angry position, but her mouth was pinched tight and her eyes were filled with fat crocodile tears. Shikamaru groaned and smacked his head down on the table, while Choji slowly reached out and offered her a few chips. "Please don't cry, Ino. Please don't fake cry either. We don't want to deal with that."

Ino rapidly shoved chips in her mouth, all the while suppressing sobs. "I d-don't fake cry."

They both gave her flat looks. Shikamaru muttered, "Please. You had perfected it by the time you were three. Sent your dad spiralling every time." Choji nodded solemnly, pressing the bag of chips into her hand.

The gesture ripped sobs from Ino's chest and made her cough around the chips still in her throat. Her friends seemed to realize that she was genuinely distressed, and abruptly scrambled to make her sit down and stop choking. Shikamaru whacked her back a couple times, and Choji went scurrying to get her a water. While they waited, Shikamaru cleared his throat and asked awkwardly, "What's the matter?"

At another time, Ino would have delighted in how uncomfortable he was around dealing with a woman's feelings- even her, after knowing her since they were in diapers. Now, she just bawled harder, barely managing to wheeze out, "Chips! Shoes!"

Shikamaru stared at her a moment, then nodded and said "Right. Um… yeah. Those things." He was saved by Choji's arrival as he placed some ice water in front of her. Ino stopped blubbering long enough to take a few sips, but found it difficult to drink around the ice cubes floating on the water's surface.

She raised her face to the heavens and wailed, "I can't drink around the iiiiiiiiice!"

Shikamaru and Choji both startled, then Choji squeaked, "Straw!" and ran to get one. Ino was filled with warmth- God bless Choji's big fat squishy body and his big fat warm heart.

She slurped from the straw as both of her friends watched her with wide-eyed caution. As her tears subsided, Shikamaru prompted, "So… what was that about?"

Ino took a shuddering breath, then fished an ice cube from her glass and crunched it. "It's stupid."

"Well, yeah," Shikamaru voice was a lazy drawl. "You're pregnant, so of course it's stupid."

"And also because you're Ino it's stupid," Choji chimed in, most helpfully.

Ino sniffed. "You fucks." They grinned, pleased to hear her attitude return. "My feet are too swollen to fit into my shoes, and now I can't complete my Valentine's outfiiiiiit." She was fully aware that her voice had turned into a plaintive whine at the end of her sentence, but she'd be damned if she started crying again.

She peeked up at Choji and Shikamaru from under her lashes. Finally Shikamaru drawled, "You're right, it is stupid." She smacked his arm as hard as she could, and was pleased to see him wince.

Choji chose a more supportive route. "I thought you got a bunch of new shoes with Sakura the other day."

Ino scowled. "Yes."

"So your feet already-"

"Yes."

"Oh."

She glared resentfully at her feet, and then at her rounded abdomen as she felt a fluttering kick. Little twerp's already craving attention, good and bad. That was more like her than she cared to admit, so she chose to gloss over it.

The three of them sat in silence for a few moments, then Choji remembered, "Weren't we going to go to breakfast?"

Shikamaru frowned contemplatively. "Oh yeah." He glanced at the clock. "A little late though. How does brunch sound?" This was mostly directed to Ino, as she stared blankly at her bump, contemplating poking the kid back to see how he liked it. "Uh, Ino?"

She snapped her head up. "Eh?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "You wanna get food?" Suddenly ravenous, Ino nodded enthusiastically. "Let me get those stupid ugly shoes and then we'll go. Choji, pick someplace besides Karui's restaurant."

Choji flushed pinkish at her jibe, muttering "They have good food."

Ino snorted. "And smokin' hot owners."

He turned even pinker. "She's nice."

Shikamaru raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "She is not."

"She is when it counts."

Ino clomped off to get her shoes, smirking all the while. Ten to one they'd end up at Kumo.

Ino and Shikamaru smirked across the table at Choji as he hid his burning face behind the menu. He'd just stumbled his way through a conversation with the pretty co-owner near the restaurant's entrance as his friends verrrrrry slowly walked to their table, shamelessly eavesdropping all the while.

Finally, Ino had enough of his shyness and extended one manicured hand to snatch the menu down from his face. "We all know you're going to get the barbeque. Quit hiding and let's chit-chat."

He yanked the menu back up. "No thanks. I'm good."

She tugged more forcefully. "C'mon. Chojiiiiiiiiii."

"Nope. I need to decide on a side dish."

"I swear to God I'll cry again."

"You do that."

She huffed indignantly, mentally retracting her thoughts of goodwill towards him earlier. All she wanted to do was psychoanalyze his every feeling and reaction towards Karui. It would be painless and entertaining. At least for her and Shikamaru.

Her pre-tirade was interrupted by the waitress coming over to give them their drinks and take their food orders. Ino narrowed her eyes towards Choji before ordering two entrées, inwardly deciding to make him pay for her. She was pregnant and now deprived of gossip. He owed her.

As Shikamaru started complaining about work (again, honestly kudos to Temari for putting up with his whiney ass), Ino fished the ice out of her glass of iced tea and put it in Choji's water, then tugged the bread basket towards herself and began buttering a piece enthusiastically. She'd resent the carbs later, she was sure, but right now that troll was demanding it.

She wolfed down the bread, shooting daggers at Shikamaru and Choji to see if they dared to comment. Neither one of them was paying that much attention to her, apparently caught up in a conversation about something Naruto did. Normally she'd demand their attention back, but right now it suited her to pig out as much as she wanted without getting shit for it. Thank God Forehead wasn't here, she'd be sure to lunge for that particular play on words.

Eventually, Shikamaru and Choji focused back on her, namely because she'd been quiet for so long they automatically assumed that the world was ending, or something on a similar scale. She glanced up from her third piece of bread to find them both staring at her. "What?"

Shikamaru blinked slowly. "Are you actually eating bread? You hardly ever eat bread." Choji nodded supportively.

She scowled at them both. "I eat bread."

Choji shook his head. "Never plain."

Shikamaru leaned forward, staring. "Is that… butter?" They both gawked at her face. "You eat butter now too?"

Ino felt a little wave of self-consciousness under their scrutiny, which she ruthlessly crushed down in favor of haughtiness. "I'm pregnant. I'll eat whatever I want. Including either of you if you piss me off."

"Cannibalism. Quite the Valentine's Day topic," Karui's voice was sardonic but good-natured, and Ino had the distinct pleasure of watching Choji's entire body run through his flight-or-fight response. He chose to be a manly man and freeze with his mouth open and eyes wide.

More importantly, Karui had arrived with a tray of food. Behind her, their waitress had another. As the plates were placed in front of them (God, she was drooling, but she was hungryyy) Ino kicked Shikamaru's leg, and jerked her head in Choji's direction. Normally he'd ignore her, but hey, Choji wasn't going to get laid anytime soon the way he had been carrying on.

"So, Karui, you guys have beaten out Yakiniku Q for Choji's favorite restaurant."

Karui turned thoughtfully to Choji. "Is that so?"

Choji nodded rapidly, his face beginning to flush. "I like your barbeque." His voice wasn't even that squeaky. You're killin' it, kid.

Ino watched joyfully as Karui's eyes hyper focused on Choji in utter intent. "You know, I've never actually eaten there."

Choji dropped the ball, and it probably landed on his toes. "It's good. Uh, yeah. It's pretty good."

Shikamaru had better reflexes than Choji, and he caught the ball on the rebound. "Choji goes a lot."

Ino took the ball from Shikamaru and dumped it back in Choji's lap. "You should go with him sometime!" They both stared at Choji, silently begging for the poor lad to take the hint.

Thankfully, he did. "Y-yeah! Come with me sometime!" Nailed it.

Karui smiled then, her golden eyes gleaming. "I'd like that. Are you free Friday evening?"

Choji looked entirely gobsmacked. "Yeah! I, uh, uh, what time?"

"Here." Karui dug out her phone, opened it, and handed it to Choji. "Put your number in, and I'll text you once I'm done with work so we can figure out all the details."

Ballsy, thought Ino. But probably for the best that she takes charge. If left to Choji, nothing would get done.

As Karui departed with the wide-eyed waitress trailing after her, Ino turned to Choji with her best Cheshire grin. He was staring at his plate with a stupid sappy grin on his face. Next to her Shikamaru was choking back laughter at his expression.

Ino was about to start relentlessly teasing him when she felt her passenger start shoving insistently on her bladder. She sighed as dramatically as she could (which was very dramatic) and stood up. "Shove over Shika, a lady's gotta go."

He stood and grumbled "I told you that you should've sat on the outside."

Ino raised her chin haughtily. "I wanted to look out the window."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Get going."

"I shall," she replied primly. She turned an accusing finger towards Choji. "Don't think we're not going to talk about what just happened!"

He grinned contentedly up at her. "Okay." She liked besotted Choji. He was a pushover.

She marched grandly to the bathroom, did her business, then stopped to consider herself in the mirror on her way out. As uncomfortable as she felt most of the time, pregnancy wasn't a bad look on her. She did have that glow- not as much of a glow as stupid Temari, but still. And her pregnancy bump was adorable.

She waddled her way back out of the bathroom and started heading back towards the table. Absently she scanned the restaurant's patrons. Mostly couples today, understandably, but every once in a while she spotted a deviant.

She froze and blinked at one table. That hairdo was not seated with the Hyuga she expected.

She strutted fiercely over, staring down a few patrons that got in her way. She was pregnant and filled with rage and/or hormones. No one could stop her now.

She finally arrived, propped her hands on her hips, and chirped "Tenten! Your fiancé's own cousin! The scandal!"

Tenten laughed, while Hinata, bless her heart, frantically started stuttering out explanations. Ino quickly pacified her. "No, Hinata! I was kidding!" They didn't need a fainting Hyuga on their hands, thank you.

Ino relaxed her stance and shifted her weight back onto her heels. "Out for a little girl's day, hm?"

"Yeah," Tenten smiled up at her, one hand absently twisting that sparkling diamond on her finger. She wasn't used to it yet, how cute. "How about you, Ino? Here with Sai?"

"Ugh, no. Stupid business trip came up last second, and I told him he could go because I'm weak. I'm here with Shikamaru and Choji, actually." She glanced down at the two ladies, an idea sparking in her mind. "Hey, you want to join us? Looks like you just got here, and we have plenty of room. Well, I could probably take up a side by myself-" Here she patted her abdomen- "But we have a booth meant for six, so it should be fine."

Tenten smiled across the table at Hinata. "You want to, Hinata? I'm up for whatever."

Hinata's smiles always made Ino feel maternal. They were sweet and shy, with just that little bit of dimple. She always felt the urge to squish those cheeks in her hands and whisper vows of protection.

The one Hinata gave them now was no different. "I'd- I'd like th-that."

The other two women stood and started grabbing their things. Ino flagged down a waiter and informed him of the change, and then they set off towards Shika and Choji. Ino remembered suddenly that she had not one but two delightful entrées waiting for her, and began speed-waddling towards her food.

She arrived at the table before Tenten and Hinata did, crisply informing the two men "Hinata and Tenten are going to eat with us. Also, I swear if one of you ate some of my food-"

Choji interrupted her solemnly, "Not even I would do that, Ino." He smiled a little giddily at Tenten and Hinata (so he was still Karui-high, then) and said "Hi, Tenten. Hi, Hinata." Shikamaru gave a lazy wave.

They eventually shuffled around so that the women were seated on one side (with Ino at the end- no, fuck you, Shikamaru, it's because that's just how it happened and that is all, okay) and Choji and Shikamaru at the other. Ino rapidly dug into her obligatory salad and turned to Tenten. "No Neji today, Tennie?"

"Nope." Tenten was scanning a menu that she had somehow obtained. As Ino watched, she passed another to Hinata from apparently nowhere. "We have dinner plans, but he's at work for now. It's okay though," she glanced up and grinned, "I upgraded." Hinata flushed pink and squeaked at Tenten's saucy wink. Ino chortled. "Careful, hon, you may kill her."

Decision apparently made, Tenten folded her menu back together and peered across at Shikamaru and Choji. "What about you two? No plans?"

"Funny you should ask that, Tenten," Ino purred as she stretched across the table and caught Choji's eye. I told you I wasn't finished with this, sucker. "Choji just landed himself a date for this Friday."

The clamor that rose up at this statement was deeply satisfying. Ino had always prided herself on her ability to evoke strong reactions from a crowd. I've still got it.

As Tenten and Hinata coaxed information about Karui from Choji, Ino watched at Shikamaru as he browsed his phone. He had a slight frown between his brows- not unusual, but it was a more contemplative frown than his usual grumpy one. He must be messaging someone, but who? Ino wracked her brains. Temari was out of town visiting her brothers, Yoshino was going out to lunch with Ino and Choji's mothers, and she and Choji were sitting right next to him. She narrowed her eyes. The hell?

He stood up abruptly, surprising them all. "Sorry, Kakashi texted. I need to swing by the office." He bid Tenten and Hinata goodbye, tapped Choji's shoulder with his fist, and poked Ino's cheek. They called goodbyes at him as he waved over his shoulder and walked to the hostess's station, presumably to settle his bill.

Ino finally tore her suspicious gaze from his back- absolutely no way was he doing any sort of work if he didn't have to, he would so be getting it from her later- and turned back to her non-ditching friends. Whatever. She noticed happily that she still had an entire entrée left and dug in. God, how had she gone so long in her life without eating like this? Food was wonderful.

The conversation mostly revolved around Choji's upcoming date, but Ino was able to pry a few wedding plans from Tenten as well. It sounded like they were planning on a long engagement, based on how hypothetical most of the details were. Then again, Ino mused, Tenten was just kind of vague like that. Neji would be much more anal retentive about it, and probably had binders full of plans already.

As their lunch date drew to a close, Ino found herself contemplating the return to her empty house morosely. She'd told Sai she was fine with him being gone over Valentine's Day- and she was, she knew they'd make it up later- but she still missed him.

Also, he'd packed her favorite sweatshirt of his to bring on his trip, so now she was stuck wearing his scratchier ones.

As the meal concluded and Ino nagged Choji into paying for her, she idly contemplated checking in on Sakura. She'd taken a shift at the hospital, because she was stupid and generous and wanted to give some nurses the day to themselves or whatever. She was also probably trying to avoid the holiday herself, the workaholic.

Decision made, Ino snapped her attention back to the others. Tenten was squeezing Choji's shoulder goodbye, accompanied by one last good-natured ribbing about Karui. Hinata was approaching Ino, that subdued gentle smile sending her internally squealing. "It was n-nice to see you, Ino."

Ino beamed. "You too, Hina! We should meet again the next time you're free. Text me, 'kay?" Ugh, Hinata was so cute.

Tenten wrapped one arm around Ino and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "See you around, Ino."

As the two women departed, Ino snatched her boxed leftovers off the table and turned to Choji imperiously. He wasn't even paying attention, the cad, staring at his phone. What a love-struck fool. "Choji!"

He jerked his head up, saw her raised brow, and smiled sheepishly. "Okay. So do you want to run out and do any errands as long as I'm here to go with you?" A surprisingly astute guess from the man, props to him.

Ino tossed her hair back. "I wanted to visit Sakura, actually. You okay with coming along?"

He nodded cheerfully, then offered his arm for her to lean on as they exited the restaurant. What a doll.