Walking between the shelves of the pantry with her inventory list, Olivia dragged the pencil down the page as she eyed the shelves. With a nervous bite of her lip, she did a recount – her fifth one today. It was pick-up day and they were short. Not by much, but short is short. That wasn't good.

The first time the Saviors came, Olivia almost died over a missing Glock 9 and .22 Bobcat. She never found out who took it, instead being forced to sit with Negan. He was terrifying. Crazy. Intimidating. Handsome. Negan had been a talker, saying things, but all Olivia could hear was the blood roaring in her ears. She had no idea what he said to her as she fervently prayed they'd find the guns and she could get out of this alive. Her only saving grace was that she hadn't cried, even if she really, really wanted to.

The second time Olivia met Negan, he was dropping off Carl. That time she had cried, but he half-assed an apology for it. She smacked him, surprising even herself. After that, the whole afternoon had been tense, playing house and trying not to set him off. Still, he had surprised her. Even when Judith fussed and cried, Negan was unfailingly patient. But Olivia hadn't said a peep more after that. He'd been more focused talking to Carl and Judith, though.

And then Spencer.

Playing pool with Spencer.

Gutting Spencer in the street.

In the aftermath that followed it had been a whirlwind. There was talk of war, but Olivia wasn't sure. Her jobs hadn't changed at all. Watch Judith, keep inventory, don't cause trouble. While the scavenging groups trekked back and forth to the Hilltop, and to new groups like Oceanside, Kingdom, and the Heaps, Olivia stayed at Alexandria. Between all the trips, though, they didn't turn up quite enough. Olivia wasn't looking forward to getting blamed.

They were still five short and the cans weren't going to magically appear. Not wanting to bother anyone else with this – or get blamed – Olivia took a deep breath and set her inventory list and pencil aside on one of the shelves. 'Okay,' she thought to herself, 'I can go to my house and give up my rations. That should be fine. I'd rather go hungry than die over five stupid cans of ravioli.'

Crossing the street to get to her house, Olivia heard the alarm raise up.

"The Saviors are here!" Tobin shouted from his post at the gate.

For a moment, Olivia froze, and then she was sprinting. "Shit, shit, shit." At her house she opened her cabinets with clumsy, shaky hands and scooped up everything – way more than five cans just in case. Dashing back to the pantry, Olivia was relieved to not see any Saviors. She dumped the cans on the shelves and stacked them up, twisting them with the labels outward, trying to calm her breathing. Stepping back, she sighed with relief. "Okay. Okay, we're good." Turning around, she went to pick up her inventory list to make the changes. It wasn't where she left it. "Where did I…?" She stepped into the armory just to make sure she didn't leave it in there, and then she froze again.

Sitting on a countertop, Negan tapped the eraser of her pencil against his mouth, flipping through her inventory list. "Hello, Olivia." He looked up with a brief smile – a pretty smile that he really shouldn't have since he's such a dick – and then went back to reading her list, a knit of concentration in his brow.

"Um." Olivia licked her lips. Her mouth had gone dry. It was already hard enough to breathe. "Um. Where are your men?" She tangled her fingers together uselessly. He was going to find out. He was going to see that they're short. He was going to blame her and say she's bad at her job. He was going to kill her.

"Oh, they're just going from fucking door to door, selling fucking girl scout cookies," Negan drawled casually, marking up her inventory list. He stretched out his long legs and hopped off the countertop. His bat was still leaning against it. Olivia didn't know if she was more scared of the bat or the man. At least the bat didn't smile so beautifully, with hazel eyes and a way of cutting you down the way you've been your entire life. "Show me what you fucking have to offer, Olivia." He gestured forward with the pencil, waving it like his bat.

Trying to control her trembles, Olivia led him back into the pantry. He followed close behind, and she resisted the urge to hunch up her shoulders shyly. "Um. We should have enough."

"Should," Negan hummed thoughtfully. He set her inventory list and pencil back on the shelf where she had left it. His eyes that had been roving the shelves disinterestedly turned to her now with a spark of amusement and warmth. She fought to not blush, but was sure she failed when he smirked at her. "I've been thinking about what you fucking said to me last time."

Her heart dropped to her feet, and Olivia looked down to see if it was still beating there. It wasn't, and Olivia didn't want to think about if it was because he had it in his fists instead.

"Stock is awfully fucking low. Piss poor, I'd say." He stepped closer, voice dropping low and gravelly as if issuing a threat. "But I know that's not your fucking fault, Olivia. That's why I'm still not gonna take a single damn can of your shit."

Olivia's head snapped up and she was speaking before she could even think to be shy. "Then why are you here?"

He was much closer than she thought. So close that she could see the smile lines around his eyes and the flecks of gold in the hazel. Too close, too beautiful, but so cruel. "Well, fuck, I just came to see if you guys were fucking slacking off. See if I have to light another fire under your fucking fine ass."

She was so distracted by his face, she didn't see his hand move until it was already snaked around her waist, tugging her up against him. His touch burned through her clothes and made her want to melt. Instead, she went pliant and allowed herself to be pressed against him, unsure where to place her hands so they hovered uselessly. Thankfully, Olivia only squeaked once, but he didn't comment on it except for a general smug expression that made her overly warm and maybe just the tiniest bit wet.

"Besides, I have a present for you, Olivia," he practically purred. Negan brought his other hand up to her face, smoothing his fingertips over her cheek. His thumb traced over her bottom lip, teasing, and Olivia wanted it. She had wanted him since she first put on the bravados when she saw him. She still wanted him even when she saw him gut Spencer. But she shouldn't.

Pulling away, Olivia ducked her head again. This wouldn't end well. Even if all he wanted was a quick fuck – and she still wasn't even sure if he sincerely wanted that – if the other Alexandrians found out… It wasn't something she wanted to imagine. Rosita would probably kill her for it.

Negan clicked his tongue at her. "That's fine, baby. I can wait." Suspicious, she glanced up at him and he held up his hands in surrender. "I don't mind the fucking chase. It'll make it so much sweeter when I finally get a taste of your pussy."

"Oh God," Olivia murmured and it was too close to a moan.

That made him chuckle. "Would you like your fucking present now, Olivia?"

"No," she took a step back, still unsure if she should turn her back on him. "You really shouldn't. I mean… my people wouldn't be happy. I don't want special privilege."

"Well, that's too damn bad, sweetheart, because you're definitely going to get it from me." Negan licked his lips, and Olivia pressed her thighs together.

Reaching into his jacket, Negan pulled out something small and bullet shaped, almost dwarfed by his palm. He grabbed one of her hands and gently held it open. His fingers could almost encircle her wrist. Almost. "Here, baby. Just for fucking you." With a smile, he wiggled his eyebrows at her as he passed it over to her smaller hand.

It was a small vibrator, either for clit stimulation or insertion. Flaming red from her blush, Olivia stared up at him indignantly with wide eyes behind her glasses. "What the hell is this for?"

"Oh, baby," Negan teased, "You don't know? Well, I can show you, if you like, and I think you'll like it very fucking much."

"No! I know what it's for, but…why?"

"Because, Olivia, I want to make it clear." He pressed into her personal space again, dipping his head down and maintaining eye-contact at he slowly told her, "I want you to be mine, and no one else can fuck you when you're mine."

A shiver passed through her body, and then he was pressing a sweet kiss to her forehead, so at odds with his words. "Same time next week, sweetheart?" He winked and smiled, and then he was gone again with a jaunty whistle.

Olivia waited until he she heard the door slam to signal he was well and truly gone before she moved. His gift was placed in her jacket pocket, and her clammy hands picked up the inventory list again. The kiss on her forehead burned like the vibrator in her pocket, and she felt so dirty. But it was strange, she felt … beautiful, too. Sexy. Wanted. Is that how he feels all the time?

Shaking her head dismissively at her silliness, she flipped open her list to add the cans to it. And there, waiting for her, was a small little love note.

You look beautiful today, sweetheart.

It was signed – oddly – with not his name but a loopy heart, and Olivia's own heart fluttered in her chest. This was going to be harder than she thought.

Olivia did not use the vibrator. She considered it, but she thought it would be much harder to reject him if she did end up using his gifts. Lying was an option, but not a very good one; she was a terrible liar. Besides, she couldn't bring herself to use it because it seemed like batteries shouldn't be wasted that way. Olivia ended up transferring the batteries to one of Judith's toys, a singing bear. Judith loved it. It made Olivia believe that she could do this, that she could reject him even if she really, really, really wanted to be with Negan however she could.

So, when Negan showed up in her pantry, Olivia thought she was prepared. She wasn't. All he had to do was smile, and she was a sap again. "Hey, baby," he greeted her warmly, as if they were dating, as if he were coming home from work with bacon in a grocery bag for their dinner.

"Hi," she shyly responded. "Um. We should have enough this week."

"I don't care about that, Olivia. I just want to talk to you." He waved his hand dismissively, and then he grinned like a shark. "Did you use your gift."

She blushed. "No. I didn't think it was right for me to use batteries like that."

He surprised her when he hummed understandingly, "I can respect that." Then he added, "Besides, that'll make the real thing so much sweeter."

"Negan," Olivia said as firmly as she could muster, "we can't do this. I told you."

"It can be our fucking secret," Negan argued, "If I could show you off, I could, baby. But I can understand if you wanna keep this hush-hush."

"I…I don't think we could do that."

"Then come back with me. Fucking be one of my wives."

The wife thing wasn't a surprise. She had overheard Carl tell Rick about it while she was watching Judith. That was another reason she felt like she couldn't do it. "No. They need me here. I have to do this and I have to watch Judith. I gave the batteries to one of Judith's toys. She needs me."

"What about what you need." Negan once again wrapped his arms around her waist, slipping his hands in the back pockets of her jeans. He squeezed, and Olivia bit her lip to control her whimper. She was getting better at doing that around him, but practice made perfect. "I can give you what you need," he murmured in her ear, and kissed her neck.

For a moment or two, they rutted against each other through their clothes. The seam of her jeans applied delicious friction where Olivia needed it, and Negan wedged his knee between her legs, allowing her to use him for her pleasure. He used the grip he had on her rear to direct her movement, his bulge in his pants nestled against her lower belly. He sucked hickeys on her neck until they bloomed painfully. Negan was marking her as his, possessing her, and it was that thought that others might see it that made her pull away.

"No, we can't." She was panting, and she had been so close just from that alone. He hadn't even kissed her yet. Again, shame washed over her.

On the other hand, he looked only slightly less disheveled. He swallowed, and then sucked in a deep breath that whooshed out through his nose. "You don't make this fucking easy, do you?"

"I'm not easy," Olivia frowned.

"No, no you're not. But even if you were, Olivia, you know I wouldn't lose interest. I know what you're fucking thinking and I want you to stop that shit. I want you. It's as simple as that."

She didn't know what to say. "Just take your things and go."

"I'm not taking a damn thing. I'm giving you something." Just like last week, he passed his gift over to her from his jacket pocket. This time it was something a little less embarrassing. A Snickers Bar.

"Oh. Um. I am allergic to peanuts." That was a lie, and she hoped he wouldn't see it. Rejecting his gifts would eventually frustrate him, though, wouldn't it? She passed the candy bar back.

"I'll keep that in mind for next time."

She sighed with frustration.

"I told you, Olivia," Negan cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead again, "I'm not giving up on you. I want you."

He left and Olivia covered the hickey with her hair, removing it from her ponytail.

He kept his word. Next week he brought her a regular chocolate bar, and lingerie – and the hickey was gone, and her hair was back up in its ponytail. The chocolate she accepted, unable to come up with an excuse, but the lingerie, she rejected.

"Come on, Negan, don't embarrass me." She tossed the too-small scraps of lace back at him.

"Baby, you'd look sexy in them. Why not?"

"Because you're crazy if you think that will fit me." She shoved her finger in his chest. The more they played this game, the more her confidence started to build up – and the harder it was to resist him. "And what makes you think you'll get to see me in lingerie anyway?"

"Oh, I bet you'd let me. Especially if I pet your pretty pussy so good."

Olivia crossed her arms to keep her heart from leaping out of her chest as it was wont to do whenever Negan was around. "I don't get it. If you wanted pussy, you could get it somewhere else."

"You're hot as fuck," Negan readily replied, "and I think there's something inside you dying to break out. I wanna see what it is. Wanna release that fucking beast." He cupped her face with both hands. Whenever he was around her, he couldn't stop touching, though she's yet to touch him back. "I like it when you're shy and mousy. It's fucking cute." He kissed her nose and Olivia almost squeaked just like a mouse. "But I like it when you're feisty, too, like when you slapped me. It was fun. Sexy. And watching you around Judith like a mama bear had me thinking."

Again, she pulled away, thoughts of Judith fortifying her again. "Have you ever had children before?"

"No. Never had the chance. My wife… she… we wanted one. Didn't happen." He looked at like he knew her, and Olivia didn't understand.

But she didn't have to ask to know his wife was dead. "I never had any either. Or a husband. Just didn't. But I used to run a daycare center – Mother's Morning Out – at the church I worked at."

"You religious?"

"Not anymore."

He nodded, and leaned back on his heels. "I worked at a high school with little shits."

Olivia laughed. "I was thinking of you more like a, uh, manager or something. Something that would give you the power to bully, but being a teacher could work."

"Are you saying I'm mean, Olivia?" Negan teased, smiling gently at her, different than before.

"I'm saying you know how to be."

"You're right," Negan hugged her again. This time he didn't try to hump her through her clothes, but instead he swayed side to side, staring at her with wide, soft eyes. "But I don't want to be fucking mean to you." He kissed her forehead goodbye and left again, and Olivia didn't know how to feel.

Next time he brought her lingerie again, except it was more suited to her. "Did I get the right size this time?"

"Yes." Olivia examined it critically. "But…" She trailed off.

"Wear it for me next time, Olivia," Negan growled, lust in his eyes. "If you do, I won't take a damn thing. But we do have to take this time. We need it."

Olivia looked over her inventory list again, ignoring Negan's love note that she had left untouched but treasured. Alexandria would be fine after this pick-up. "Okay."

Since Negan's men were trotting in and out, they didn't touch, and Olivia didn't dare stand near him. The lingerie was packed away in a box that she guarded while she watched them. Arat had her list, and though Olivia had sucked in a nervous breath, Arat didn't say anything about the note.

"You can trust Arat," Negan whispered to her, leaning unnecessarily close to do so. Olivia shot him a look, but he only winked, unapologetic.

Once everything was loaded up, Negan had his chance to say goodbye. "Same time next week, sugar tits?"

She looked away, embarrassed. "I'll wear them, but… but please stop bringing me things."

"You deserve everything you get. Jewelry, lipstick, kisses," his voice dropped, "and if you're especially bad, spankings. But you've been a good girl for me so far, Olivia."

"I thought since you loved the slap so much you would be the one who wants punishments," Olivia tossed out.

"Maybe so," Negan relented, and Olivia's eyes went wide as she looked up at Negan's impish, toothy smile. "How do you feel about flowers?"

"I'm allergic." That wasn't a lie, she really was. Her eyes would get swollen and red, runny nose, hard to breathe.

"No flowers, then."

"Please. No more."

"Mm, I'd love to hear you say that another way."

"Negan!" She hissed, getting nervous the longer he stayed and the more suspicious it looked. "Just go."

He bent down, and Olivia didn't even flinch, expecting the same kiss on her forehead again. But he bypassed that for her mouth – and then she couldn't breathe because he stole he breath away.

"Hm, you are so beautiful, Olivia."

Against her better judgement, she wore the lingerie. He had good taste, and it was silky soft against her most intimate areas, with the lace more for his viewing pleasure than her comfort. Negan was quivering with anticipation when he came to her. He pulled her close, and slipped his hand under the waistband of her jeans. His fingers brushed over the bare skin of her rear until he found the lace. With a smile, he plucked at it and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Does our deal stand?" If he said yes, she would do it. She would be with him. She would let herself have what she wants, if only once.

"Not yet, baby," Negan teased, "Gotta see if you're wearing the matching bra, too." He slipped his other hand under her shirt, leather glove skimming over her stomach until he reached her breasts and cupped her over the bra. Olivia whimpered, shook, nipples budding under his touch. "Hm, I can't tell with this damn glove on. May I take this off? I wanna see you, baby."

She found herself nodding and helping him strip off her shirt and her jeans. Before he could take a good look at her, she was tugging at his jacket and shirt, and then Negan was stripping down, too. "We have to make this quick. No one can see, no one can know, you can't tell anyone. And you can't take anything this time."

"I won't, baby, I promise. I just wanna make you feel good," Negan groaned between kisses to her exposed flesh. "Wanted you for so long, dreamt about this, but jerking my fucking fist just wasn't enough."

He hitched up and the countertop where this affair started and spread her legs, exposing the wet spot on her lingerie. "I knew you wanted this, too." Ducking his head forward, he licked a stripe over her panties. She bucked her hips up until he was forced to hold her down by the tight grip on her thighs. It would leave bruises, but she wanted that. She wanted to be reminded of him when he was gone. This couldn't last forever.

Negan sucked her hard over the panties and she came before she knew it, soaking her panties. He took a deep breath through his nose, inhaling her musky scent, and Olivia caught her breath. When she blinked down at him, she realized that she had tangled her fingers in his hair and had smoothed the fine strands of hair back from his face. His beard was soaked with her juices, and she ached to feel the bristles against her.

"More," she croaked, and urged him back down, "Please more. I want more."

With a dark chuckle, Negan slipped the thong down her legs, exposing her creamy cunt. The cool air heightened her already sensitive flesh. And then he was licking her clean only for her to get all wet again. His nose rubbed against her clit while he fucked her with his tongue, and he moved from side to side, scratching her with his short stubble. He was eating her like he loved it – like he loved the taste of her – and every time he moaned against her, Olivia felt like that was true. She came again, and he licked her through it until she had to pull him back, too overly sensitive for it be pleasurable anymore.

Breathing heavily, Negan pulled the thong back up until place. The black fabric showed off the creamy white spots very well. "Damn, I wish I had a camera."

"I'm glad you don't," Olivia sighed tiredly, and lazily stroked her hand down his face. He preened under her touch. "I don't normally come that quickly."

"Honey, I'm just that good," he bragged, and pressed a pleased kiss to her thigh. "What else do you want from me?"

She flushed again. "It doesn't seem fair to leave you wanting…"

"Fuck what's fair, it's about what you want to give to me, Olivia." Negan mouthed at her thighs again. "I would love to fuck your brains out. Or you can suck me off. You can finger me, you can fuck me, you can do nothing. You're fucking perfect, I'll take what I can get from you." He licked some of her stray juices from her thighs lovingly, his hands stroking over her belly soothingly.

Blinking, Olivia wasn't sure. Staring down at him now, though, she knew that she wanted him fully. If he wanted to possess her fully that was the way to have it. "Come up here and fuck me, Negan."

His smile was blinding. "Yes ma'am!" He stood between her legs, pulling her down so her ass hung over the edge of the counter top. Rather than pulling her panties off again, he moved them to the side, rutting his thick erection against her. Her slickness prepared the both of them, driving them both wild as they panted and gazed at each other hotly.

"When I fuck you," he teased her hole with the head of his cock, "do you want me to pump you full or should I put it somewhere else?"

"I don't want it on my face ever. Or in my hair. I hate when that shit gets on my glasses." Olivia moved her hips with him, chasing his cock, "but I suppose maybe this time, you can come inside me." Pulling his face down to hers, she kissed him shortly and sweetly. "Consider that, a gift to us both."

"Yes," he hissed and then slowly slid inside to the hilt, causing them both to hiss together, "yes."

He started off his pace slow since she was still tender from her previous two orgasms. Negan gritted his teeth and kept it that way until Olivia got too impatient. "Harder. I'm not made of glass!"

Immediately, he pounded into her until it stung, and Olivia was writhing to hold onto him by his slender hips. She could get used to this, to him doing things for her because he thought she deserved it, following her commands to work for her pleasure. "Oh… Negan," she keened, "you feel so big."

"Mm, you're so… ugh, fuck! Beautiful!" Negan growled back, and plucked at her nipples through her bra as he slammed into her. Watching him it was like he wanted all of her, but didn't know where to start or what was allowed. The way he shaped his hands around her breasts was worship. He fucked her gently because she was precious, not delicate. There was something, something there.

"Oh, yes! Right there, right fucking there, keep going!" She cried out, and he kept hitting her g-spot until she squirted all over him. Still he kept going, howling with pleasure at it, reaching down and rubbing her clit with the palm of his hand.

She was high-pitched and breathy, and she wondered why he hadn't come yet when she gained the ability to think again in her hazy brain. She was close to the edge again, ready for another, but he looked painfully upset, holding himself back. "Come for me, Negan, let's come together."

That was all it took, and he shuddered as he emptied his balls inside her, moaning her name and fuck like those were the only words he knew. Olivia wouldn't be surprised if that was the case, but then she was coming hard around him, too, squeezing him tight.

In the aftershocks of their orgasms, Negan collapsed on top of her, kissing her lazily, snuggling into her breasts like a kitten. Olivia only tried to breathe, enjoying the fullness of him inside her while it lasted. She stroked his hair curiously, and he sighed happily. She would never get used to this like she would to just bossing him around.

After they cleaned up and pulled their clothes back on, Negan had pocketed her panties. "You going to wash them and bring those back?" Olivia asked cheekily, "I think I like them."

"Maybe I'll wear them for you next time," he hinted, a dark look in his eyes.

Olivia was speechless for only a moment before she blushed at the thought. That would be a sight to see. "I'd like that. I think you'd look beautiful in them."

"You're beautiful without them, you know," Negan reminded her and kissed her sweetly. His kisses were always so sweet; Olivia wasn't sure what to make of that.

Before he left, he stopped and turned back. "Damn, I nearly forgot your gift."

"I thought… this was my gift."

"No, no, I have another." From his jacket, Negan pulled out a pink rose – plastic. "I figured you wouldn't fucking be allergic to plastic," he explained with a rueful shrug."

Olivia did accept that gift without complaint or question. "It's beautiful."

"Like you, Olivia."

She loved hearing that from him.

He kissed her forehead and then her mouth. "I'll see you next week, baby."

And it wasn't until he was gone and she was still smiling at the plastic rose that Olivia realized that all his sweetness, his desire, all of it was more than just conquest. It was love.