What a Surprise

I don't own Hetalia

"West, where are you? I need your help!" Prussia ran through the house looking for his brother, who, sadly was nowhere in sight. The ex-nation opened every door he could find and peered inside the rooms, without much success. Where was his little brother when he needed him?

Sulking, the man decided to scream as loud as he could and opened the last door on the corridor. "WEST?!" he screeched. As soon as he had torn the door open he came face to face with his brother who was engaged in a conversation on the phone.

Germany turned around, the receiver still clenched in his hand, scowling and making shushing noises towards his brother. Gilbert took a step back, feeling sorry for his intrusion. He never knew who his brother could be talking with. It could be a high-ranked person in the government or a housekeeper or even a random citizen from the bakery his brother went to every Sunday to buy Brötchen.

"Yes, its him, Austria… No, he will probably be here when you come over. No compromises," Ludwig spoke in the phone with a slightly annoyed look on his face. "Until later, then. Tschüss." Groaning he turned around and tried to break the great news to his brother, who had already figured out what would happen.

"Oh no, West, why does he come over? I don't want him in my- erm, your house!" Gilbert complained, throwing his arms in the air, exasperated.

Poor Germany could already feel how the veins in his forehead throbbed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "You don't have to be here when he comes! You could go outside for a change, do something with the dogs or meet your friends from the nursery home!"

Gilbert felt kind of attacked by hearing those words from his brother. With a huff, he stemmed his arms on his hips and puffed out his chest: "First of all, today's fieldtrip day for the people from the nursery home and I don't know where they went. Secondly, I do go outside quite a lot, babysitting your dogs by the way. And third of all, I cannot show any weakness in front of Austria and just leave, I have to stand my ground, or he'll think I am just as jelly as him!"

"But you have to promise not to make any ruckus or coax a fight like you always do, please? He is here for business related things anyway," Germany was almost pleading, he had to make sure that this meeting would not end like the last one, when everyone ended up with sticky sausage salad in their hair and a dancing squirrel clock.

Gilbert's grim expression softened, and he patted his brother's shoulder reassuringly: "I hereby promise you not to do anything to that prick which he doesn't deserve."

"That's not enough.," Ludwig grumbled.

"Okay, okay… I'll try to fulfill your expectations of exemplary behavior," Prussia told him with as much innocence as he could muster, but Germany didn't fully believe him.

Knowing he could not get his brother to promise anything more and most importantly anything more domestic, he accepted his pledge.

"I trust you," Ludwig said, pointing seriously at his brother with a glare. "But really, don't do anything stupid."

Gilbert gasped, offended: "When was the last time I did something stupid?"

The taller blond smirked: "In the same moment you just uttered that sentence."

Prussia inhaled sharply and puffed his cheeks. He tried to come up with a counterargument but failed.

"Come on, help me set the table." Germany guided his brother out of his office and into the living room where the table was situated.

"How much time do we have left?" Prussia asked with worry. The old urge of constant preparation from the past came back to him. No matter who came to visit it had to be planned and dutifully exercised.

"He must be in the car with Hungary now, they are on their way here," Germany admitted sheepishly, "I also tried to block out this meeting and kind of forgot about it."

Gilbert didn't know what shocked him most, Hungary coming to visit too or his brother forgetting something. Shaking his head, the Prussian focused back on the problem at hand: the empty table. "Alright, I'll get the plates and you look for something nice to eat."

Germany nodded and left the living room in search for some leftover cake, while Prussia rushed in the kitchen and fished some plates out of the cupboard over the stove and some forks. A few moments later the brothers met at the same spot from before, Prussia holding plates and also napkins and Germany carrying a cake tin with a closed lid.

"What kind of cake is that?" Gilbert asked curiously, he had no idea that they had a full cake at home.

"Oh, it's a Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte, I got it from work," Ludwig informed him while opening the mold.

"They give you cake at work? What for?"

"It's was a gift from one of my team mates, because I saved him from losing his job," The taller man positioned the cake in the center of the table and moved some chairs.

Gilbert shook his head in amusement: "You are just too soft! If he was endangered of losing his job it had to be justified. Is he a lazy person? I don't think that having someone like that in your team is advantageous, this person would just slow-down its efficiency."

"And make you even more stressed," the albino added.

"It's alright, next time I'll just say 'no'." The blond took the plates and napkins from his brother and put them in an artistic fashion on the table's surface.

"I am just trying to look out for you."

"I know, thanks."

The two Germans were looking at the table with critical eyes. It sure looked orderly, but something was amiss…

"I know!" Prussia piped up. "We need some decoration, flowers seem to be a good idea!" With these words, the albino ran off to the garden door and sprinted outside.

A rush of worry spread over Ludwig. "Don't destroy my garden!" he called after him, but his brother was already out of ear-shot. Too bad.

"What do you think?" Gilbert asked when he came back, his arms full of blue cornflowers and some roses.

Ludwig nodded approvingly and handed Gilbert a glassy vase already filled with water.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and Germany pushed himself in front of his brother to keep him from opening the door and already ruining the afternoon for his guests.

"Hello, Germany," Hungary greeted him warmly when he opened the door wide enough to let the man and the woman enter. Ludwig nodded to greet her and took her jacket.

Austria shook Germany's hand and let himself be led to the table where Prussia was standing stiffly on the side.

"Why, hello, Prussia…," Austria spoke and sniffed. Germany could clearly hear his brother's deep throaty growl and already knew that the evening was as good as dead.

Hungary came up behind Austria and pinched his arm, looking at him disapprovingly and clearly conveying the words 'remember what we talked about' to the brunet.

Surprisingly, Prussia pulled one of the chairs away from the table and looked at the woman invitingly. Elizabeta approached him suspiciously and sat down. When she noticed that nothing bad had happened she started smiling and thanked Gilbert for his thoughtfulness.

Germany, also not having expected such a friendly exchange between the two motioned to the seat next to Hungary's for Roderich to sit down. Ludwig seated himself in the row across from the couple and waited for Gilbert to do the same. His brother, however, started to walk away.

"I'll get a knife," he said and turned to leave.

"A knife?!" Roderich shrieked, expecting the worst.

"For the cake, you boneless squid!" Prussia explained through gritted teeth.

Germany interfered instantly before something ugly could break out: "Yes, please get it, Gilbert. Oh, and some coffee please!" He knew he shouldn't push his luck and cursed himself for forgetting the visit with the Austrian.

Moments of stiff silence passed, the three people sitting at the table were still too shocked by the Prussian's unusual behavior. Luckily, Ludwig knew how he could discharge the atmosphere.

Looking at the Austrian he asked: "So, if you want to I can go get the necessary documents for our meeting," Unconsciously, he rather formed the intended question into a sentence without compromise.

Roderich almost groaned but swallowed it down. "Yes, of course."

Ludwig smiled and stood up, going upstairs to retrieve the papers. Austria turned to his lover, muttering: "How typical, those Germans never take anything easy. Always right down to business…"

The brunette chuckled, careful of the running coffee machine in the kitchen.

Two heavy files fell on the table, towards which the attention of the two guests snapped. Ludwig smiled and sat down again, opening the briefcases gently. He took out a bunch of papers and held them out to the Austrian who looked at it disdainfully.

Prussia returned from the kitchen balancing a tray of four steaming cups of coffee and a knife. Quietly, he positioned a cup each in front of the people seated around the table. When he was done, he took the knife and cut the cake in measured pieces.

Elizabeta looked at the display and commented on the pretty flowers in front of her. "How beautiful, I didn't know you could arrange flowers so wonderfully, Ludwig! It looks almost romantic!"

Germany swallowed and looked up from his documents, the pen hovering over the paper. "Prussia did it. He picked flowers from our garden and made the bouquet."

"Oh, really?" Elizabeta looked at Gilbert whose cheeks had turned a pale shade of red. The man tried to cover his embarrassment by continuing his cutting like he hadn't even heard the comment.

"Really?" Roderich pressed, this couldn't be possible! "If that's true, then, then… You do have a romantic and sensitive side!"

"What's that mean?" Gilbert spat and glared at the man.

"It means that I am surprised that you can have some kind of class and decorum!"

Prussia gasped and scowled at the Austrian: "Of course I have knowledge of decorum and awesome looks! I used to live in a castle too, you know. And I remember you being quite envious of my military uniforms!"

Roderich gasped audibly: "I was not! You are uncultured and- and- "

"Stop, both of you!" Hungary screamed, "I am so fed up with your constant rivalry! Stop insulting each other every time you are in the same area!"

"You!" she pointed at Austria, "You stop saying that Prussia has no idea what romance is like. And you," she pointed at Gilbert, "Prove to us that you know what you are doing."

Prussia muttered under his breath: "I just should have locked myself in my room for the evening instead of putting up with these idiots."

"Alright!" he told Hungary aloud, "I'll prove it to you so that the priss finally lets it go," But he wondered how… His gaze fell on the guests' interlaced hands and an idea sparked in his mind. "I will organize a date for you two."

"You what?" the couple and Germany asked in unison.

Prussia smirked and crossed his arms over his chest: "You heard me correctly, I will organize a date for you. What do you have to lose? When it's shitty, you can leave, when it's not, you can stay and enjoy it."

"Okay…?" Elizabeta agreed strangely.

"That's, that's…," Roderich said, totally unable to cope with the suggestion.

Ludwig was sitting quietly over his documents, trying to block out the squad and focus on the reason why his guests were actually there!

Gilbert snatched Germany's pen out of his brother's hand and his notepad, holding it up ready to scribble. "When can I date it?"

Hungary bit her lip, thinking about it intensely. "In exactly one week at seven o'clock in the evening. You can name the location."

Gilbert laughed: "Got it. Now, you three, please excuse me, but I have a date to organize!"

With these words, the Prussian ripped off the note from the writing pad and swaggered towards the door to the basement, cackling.

"Oh, Gott," Roderich choked.

In course of the following week, Germany only caught glimpses of his brother during the days. He was always busy no matter the time of day!

Ludwig was sitting on the sofa reading a dictionary in Italian, because he wanted to improve his language skills. Italian always sounded so friendly and cheerful!

Germany turned his head towards the opening door in the hallway through which his brother was stepping in the same moment. Prussia was tangled up in a chain of lights and tried to free his arms out of this web.

"Didn't I curl it up neatly and tuck it away inside a box in the basement? Why are you wearing it like a bad-looking costume?" Germany deadpanned, closing the dictionary and slipping off his reading glasses.

Prussia huffed, still caught in the trap: "I need it for my mission," he said distractedly.

"You need it for your mission. Of course," Ludwig repeated, even after two days he couldn't understand why his brother took on the challenge of arranging a romantic date for Elizabeta and Roderich.

Well, now that Germany thought about this, his brother had always been competitive like that. "You want to use it outside, don't you?" the blond motioned to the turned off lights around Gilbert's neck.

"I intended to hang it up inside!" Prussia replied, now giving his brother his undivided attention.

Germany shook his head: "It is a chain of lights for the outside. Look at the package!"

Gilbert groaned: "What's the difference between inside and outside? Speaking for inside is the argument that the chance for it to get dirty or even broken is less than when hanging it up outside!"

"But the package is saying to use it in the garden!" Ludwig pressed, fully convinced of his opinion's correctness.

"It doesn't matter what some dude wrote there! One can use it inside too!"

Germany shook his head: "This 'dude' you're speaking of is most likely an educated manufacturer who knows his products' endurance- "

"I can't believe we are wasting time with this pointless shit argument. I will use it inside and you can't stop me," Prussia began to stomp away, dragging the loose strands of the chain of lightbulbs over the polished floor. He couldn't believe his brother's pettiness sometimes!

"But when it's broken you will give me the money!" Ludwig shouted after him.

"I don't have any money! Touché!" Gilbert called back, laughing in amusement.

"Then get a job!"

Silence.

"That's not a bad idea, actually…," Prussia said, finally finding the knot which had trapped him the whole time. "But now I have another challenge to complete!"

The next day in the evening, Prussia was sitting with crossed legs in front of a pile of pots, scoops and cutlery spread on a blanket in the middle of the living room and scrutinizing every single kitchen utensil carefully.

He picked up a large silver pot and held it up in the light. Turning it in his arms, he checked it in regard to scraps and scuff. Germany's three dogs were walking around him, occasionally sniffing the unknown metal things.

With a sigh, Gilbert put it down after he had found a scratch on the inside. It had to look perfect and presentable. And it was high time to finally find the perfect pot, he only had two days left!

Thankfully, some nice neighbors had supplied him with the huge amount of differing pots and scoops after hearing what he needed them for.

The sound of a key being pushed in the key hold of the front door interrupted the Prussian's examination. Smiling, Gilbert stood up to meet his brother who had returned from work. The albino skipped to the entranceway and took his brother's jacket after he had shrugged it off, folding it over his arm. "How was your day, West?"

The taller man shook his head tiredly and mumbled: "The same as always only that I have to fulfill some last-minute work due tomorrow."

"Why do they always bother you with such things? That's not fair," Gilbert said angrily, hanging Ludwig's jacket on the hook.

Germany took off his business shoes and put them neatly on the shoe rack. "I know, but they prefer their country doing certain things which require utmost attention," The man picked up his briefcase and went inside the living room, suddenly stopping dead in his tracks.

"Oh, ja… About that, don't lose your cool, cuz it's not as bad as it looks. And it's important."

"Gilbert, why is there a lifetime supply of kitchen utensils on the floor?" Germany asked calmly when he regained his voice.

"Our neighbors were so nice, they lent them to me," Prussia explained.

"It's for the date, isn't it?" the blond concluded and faced his brother, "Gilbert, look, I understand that you want to impress Austria and Hungary, but I think you're going too far."

"Why's that? It's not like I need all of those. I just have to sort out the best-looking ones and give them back to their owners after the date!" he pointed towards the metal pots. "And please let me do this how I want to, you know I have way too much time on my hands anyway."

Germany nodded, acceptingly. He felt sorry and somewhat guilty for offering his brother such a restricted life. But what should he do? It's not like he could reestablish the Kingdom of Prussia in modern times. What would the world think?

"Alright, do whatever you want. I'll be in my study," He took a step away from Gilbert, but Ludwig remembered something. "Did you go grocery shopping today, like I asked you to?"

"Why of course I did! What did you expect?" Prussia said, rocking on his heels. "Though, I planned to go shopping again after finding the right pot. Do you need something?"

The blond shook his head but thanked his brother nevertheless. "Well, then I hope you will get everything you need."

The albino smiled up at him and glanced at his wristwatch: "I guess it's better for me to go right away or the shops will be closed. May I take your car, please?"

Without hesitation, Ludwig fished out the car key from his trousers pocket and let the bundle of keys fall in his brother's outstretched hand. "Drive carefully."

"Sure thing, West. See you later!" Excited, Gilbert grabbed his shoes and jacket and skipped off to the garage.

After having opened the garage door and starting the Volkswagen (and looking out for random children from the neighborhood), the Prussian took out his to-do list and a ball pen (borrowed from his brother), checking his notes. He had to admit, preparing a date wasn't as easy as it looked on TV.

A sudden movement in his hood surprised him, his pet canary pushed aside the dark fabric of his jacket and fluttered on the driver's finger. The bird looked up at him, full of expectation. Gilbert laughed and scratched his pet under the beak.

"What are you doing here, little guy?" he asked it affectionately. The canary, meanwhile, rubbed his head against Prussia's palm and hopped on the co-driver's seat. "You never let me go somewhere alone, don't you? You are such a loyal friend."

For most people, confessing to an animal that they were one their best friends was an alarming proof of loneliness, but luckily, Gilbert was shut in his brother's sound-proof car, so no one could contact pastors or psychiatrists.

As long as Gilbird didn't uncover this secret to anyone, lest of all Ludwig, then Prussia's world was perfect. Well, as good as it could be in his state. Fortunately, Gilbird couldn't speak German or even human, so his secret was safe.

Looking away from his bird, who was acting more human than most normal animals, for he wasn't 'normal', the albino tucked his list and pen back in his coat pocket and carefully pulled the car out of the drive way.

Finally, the store came in sight, a big building complex with much parking space. Gilbert was a little, well pissed because the ride there had been very stressful. It seemed that people forgot over time that driving wasn't all about being selfish and extruding the gas pedal to get to the personal destination in the fastest way possible.

He had to use the hooter more than usual too. But what did he expect from a fast-developing capital?

Grunting, Gilbert stepped out of the vehicle and slammed the door shut. His bird shot out of the thinning gap between door and frame and nestled in Prussia's hair. No wonder people used the word 'bird-nest' to describe his hairstyle. Well, it wasn't far from the truth.

With long strides, the Prussian went over to the roofed storage of shopping carts. He took out one Euro and popped it inside the gap of the in plastic covered handle to unlock the chain which connected his with the other carts.

Whistling, the albino advanced towards the automatically-opening doors of the shop, with a bright yellow bird on his head. The staring buyers didn't even faze Gilbert anymore. In his 1000 years of living he had gotten used to the feeling of being stared at for his uncommon looks.

Prussia took out his list again as soon as he had entered the store he was standing in the first aisle. Thanks to his foreplaning, he was sure of not spending much time shopping. At the top of the list stood different sorts of vegetables, like paprika, garlic and onions. Those were easy to find!

Moving over to the display of the healthy foods, Gilbert picked up a bag and filled it with four of the best-looking paprika and onions. He wasn't convinced that he would make it until the shop closed, so he woke up his little bird and told the canary to go find a light net of garlic. Gilbird, as the loyal pet he was, flew instantly away to look for the dish which would make his owner happy.

Prussia, meanwhile, ran to the meat counter and ordered one kilo of their finest beef. Running back to the cart he had left in the aisle, the man grabbed a tube of tomato paste, a bottle of olive oil, red wine and a package of parsley.

Panting, he positioned the things in the cart, waiting for his bird to arrive. Less than a second later, Gilbird came back, while holding the wanted net of garlic in his tiny beak. No one would have expected the canary to show such strength, but Prussia knew him well.

A small child next to him pointed at the little yellow bird, which had just retaken his traditional spot on the albino's finger.

„Mama, schau mal! Ein kleiner Vogel!" the little girl tucked at her mother's skirt with excitement, trying to arouse her attention.

The middle-aged woman, however, was occupied with the disabled bread machine and petted her child's head distractedly. „Ein Vogel? Hier im Geschäft? Du schaust zu viel Fernsehen."

Gilbert, noticing the little child who was pointing at him, realized that her attention was on his bird. Smiling, the man stepped towards the child, which looked more and more intimidated by the stranger.

Prussia bent down to the girl's eye-level and said calmly: „Kannst du auf meinen kleinen Freund aufpassen, solange ich meine Einkäufe erledige?"

The toddler understood what he said and happily stretched out her chubby hands to take the bird. The canary, fully trusting his owner's judgement jumped from one finger to another. The girl petted the bird with utmost care, paying attention to giving it only soft strokes.

„Ich komme gleich wieder.", Gilbert said and sped off to the next aisle.

„Mama, ich hab den kleinen Vogel jetzt in meiner Hand! Guck doch mal endlich!", giggled the child when she turned back to her mother, who was still grumbling about the not working machine.

Author's Note:

Translations:

Tschüss - Bye

Schwarwälder Kirschtorte - Black Forest cake (Side note for German geeks: The cake wasn't invented in the Black Forest, it was invented in Bonn, actually)

Oh, Gott - Oh, God (I think that's self-explanatory)

Mama, schau mal! Ein kleiner Vogel! - Mom, look! A little bird!

Ein Vogel? Hier im Geschäft? Du schaust zu viel Fernsehen. - A bird? Here in the store? You're watching too much TV.

Kannst du auf meinen kleinen Freund aufpassen, solange ich meine Einkäufe erledige? - Can you take care of my little friend while I finish/do my shopping?

Ich komme gleich wieder. - I'll be back in a few seconds. (loosely translated)

Mama, ich hab den kleinen Vogel jetzt in meiner Hand! Guck doch mal endlich! - Mom, now I have the little bird in my hand! Just look already!

This chapter was fun to write. I like making Prussia do more domestic things in my fanfictions than what I usually get to read.

Yaay, Gilbird's primere!

A German "fun" fact: the sentence Preußen hat einen Vogel, meaning Prussia has a bird, has the same meaning in German, but could also mean that Prussia is crazy/loony. And I think that's awesome.

I wonder if Hima gave him a bird for this purpose (completely ignoring France and Iceland here).

Thank you for reading! The next chapter will be published soon.