AN: Credit for the idea of this entire story goes to Phnxgirl, who mentioned one day that when Deeks said, "Hell hath no fury like Kensi Marie Blye" in Bounty (2x08), it seemed awfully early in their partnership for him to know her middle name. This takes place shortly before that.

Kensi gripped the steering wheel tighter in a last attempt to restrain herself. It didn't work. "Deeks, if you don't stop squirming around, I swear I'm going to –"

"What, turn me into stone, Medusa? How do you sit so still for so long, enter a shamanic trance or something?" Deeks asked as he continued to twist in the passenger seat of Kensi's SRX, managing to fold one leg up under himself.

"It's called behaving professionally on a stakeout. You might want to try it sometime."

"Yeah, no. I have too much energy for that. I can't be contained. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm like a jungle cat, always stealthily on the prowl, tail gracefully undulating." Deeks' hand mirrored his words.

"More like a puppy with ADHD and a teeny-tiny bladder."

"So you think I'm cute and cuddly. Good to know."

"No, you're furry, twitchy, and pee a lot."

"Since I'm feeling generous, you get a touché for that. And in return, I'll let you distract me for a while. You up for it?"

"I'm not your personal play thing. And we're not supposed to be distracted, we're supposed to have our eyes on that building in case Corporal Andersen shows up to visit his girlfriend."

"Right, and if he does we haul him in for questioning. But that doesn't mean we need to sit here in complete stillness and silence."

"I've never been on a stakeout with anyone less still or silent than you, Deeks! All I've heard since we got here is you tapping your fingers, bouncing your legs, clearing your throat, cracking your joints, flipping your hair –"

"Flipping my hair? What does that even mean? And how can you possibly hear it?"

"It's, you know… when you flick your head so your hair falls into place. And you're right, I can't hear that. It's probably the rocks in your head knocking around."

"Wow, that was hurtful."

Kensi rolled her eyes. "Can we please just focus on the job?"

"I'm sure there's something we can do with our mouths while we keep lookout for Andersen." When his partner's eyes squinted in suspicion, Deeks clarified with a grin, "No, that's not what I meant. Trust me, you wouldn't be able to keep your eyes open if we were to do that." He snapped his fingers, "I got it, let's play Twenty Questions! Except in this version, I get to ask you twenty questions about yourself and you answer them."

"I'm not playing games with you while we're working."

"But you'll play them after work? Have to keep that in mind."

"No."

"Kensi," he practically whined. "Okay, one question then."

Kensi kept her eyes straight ahead, on the building, her mouth shut.

"Please?" Deeks begged. "Just a little something to help us get to know one another while we're sitting here with nothing else to do. I'll ask one, then you ask one. Or you can ask first. I don't care, I'm an open book." Kensi looked like she was about to crack, but then seemed to strengthen her resolve to ignore him, so Deeks continued, "You know what, forget about the game, then. Instead I'll tell you everything you could possibly want to know about LAPD Detective Marty Deeks. Hold your questions for the end, if you can." He took a breath. "I was born on a dark and stormy night –"

Exasperated, Kensi blurted out, "Fine, what's your question?"

His thoughts raced for a second or two before spitting out the first thing that came to mind, "What's your middle name?"

"Really, Deeks? All this for my middle name?"

"Okay, that probably wouldn't have been in the top ten of my twenty, but I felt the pressure to perform and that was what came out. But it's nice and easy, yeah? So what is it?"

"You can probably find it in the LAPD database."

"Right, but the point is to kill some time now, and to bond a little as partners. Me running a background check on you, while it may reveal some interesting facts, wouldn't be nearly as illuminating as getting it directly from the source. Or as fun, probably."

"This is your idea of fun?"

"Granted, it's not as entertaining as hitting a bar and liquoring you up to get you to spill all your dirty little secrets, but since we're sitting in a car on a stakeout, I'll take it."

"First, there's not enough alcohol on the planet to get me to share my secrets, dirty or otherwise with you. Second, you're a detective, why don't you detect?"

"C'mon, I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours," Deeks' whine was becoming more pronounced.

"What are you, five?"

"You want to do this the hard way, fine." He thought for a moment before a grin split his face. "My superior detective skills did lead me to one of your aliases on a dating website. So maybe Ms. Charlene St. James's first name is really your middle name?"

"No," Kensi said with a slight shake of her head. "And thanks for ruining that for me, by the way."

Deeks scoffed, "Please, you're not going to find Mr. Right online. Mr. Right Now, at best. But I could maybe introduce you to a friend or two at some point. Especially once we get to know each other a little more and I get a better idea of who would be a good match for you."

"Like I would ever date a friend of yours."

"Only because that's as close as you'll ever get to dating me, princess." With that, Deeks quickly popped the glove box in front of him and snatched Kensi's wallet from inside. He held it up, waving it teasingly in the air. "Last chance, before I pull out the next weapon in my detective's arsenal."

Kensi said nothing, but flipped her hand over, signaling that he should proceed.

Deeks opened the wallet and found Kensi's driver license easily behind the plastic window. "Ah ha! This is what we in the detecting business call a clue. Says here, 'Kensi M. Blye.' So your middle name begins with an M."

Kensi raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"And wait for this bit of deduction…I also see your year of birth is 1982. Add to that your obvious reluctance to tell me your middle name, and I can only conclude that it embarrasses you. Now who might your parents have named you after in the early eighties? Could it be Madonna, the Queen of Pop? Kensi Madonna has a lovely ring to it."

"My dad was a Marine, Deeks," she drew the word out proudly. "He wasn't some teeny-bopper Madonna groupie."

"Hmm, was your mother particularly moved by the performance of the great Meryl Streep in 'Kramer vs Kramer' then? Kensi Meryl sounds so LA, doesn't it? Bet you're glad you were born a girl, otherwise I might be having this conversation with Special Agent Dustin Blye right now, yeah?"

Kensi gave him a sour look.

"So not Madonna or Meryl. But I still think it's a name you're not fond of. How about something like Kensi Mackenzie. Unless of course Kensi is short for Makenzie?"

"I'm surprised you ever earned a gold badge with deductive skills like that. For your information, I'm named for my maternal grandfather Kenneth."

"You'll tell me that, but not your middle name?"

"That came up naturally. Or as naturally as anything can in this inane conversation."

"You realize you leave me no choice now, right? I have to list every ridiculous M-name I can think – wait! What if it's not ridiculous? What if it's the strongest, coolest, most masculine M-name of all. Kensi Martin Blye – you didn't want me to know we're name twins!"

"Oh my gosh, you're ridiculous," Kensi said on a small laugh.

"Alright then, here goes: Mildred… Mathilda… Myrna… Meredith… Maude… Mimi… Marion… Marge… Madge… Midge… Magdalena… Mistie… Marsha, Marsha, Marsha… Millicent… Merlot… Moscato… Marsala… Maple… Mahogany… Mesquite…"

"Stop, just stop! Those last few aren't even names, they're wines and woods."

"And sadly none of them are sandwiched between Kensi and Blye on your birth certificate."

"You don't know that." She pulled her eyes away from the building in front of them and spared him a quick glance, "You just rattled them off and barely took a breath."

"True, but I was studying you the entire time, and except for a little twitch now and then as you were trying to suppress an adorably amused grin, there were no other micro-expressions telling me that I'd hit the target, or even come close."

Kensi nodded at the accuracy of his statement and her lips twisted into a begrudging smile, impressed with Deeks' observation. "Can we put this to rest now?"

"No way, I'm just warming up. I can go on like this indefinitely."

"Please don't."

"How about you give me a hint then? Just one little clue?"

"I already laid down a clue, Detective. Not my fault you didn't pick it up."

"Wait, what? You did not. When did you give me a clue?"

"Earlier."

"Really?" Deeks squinted his eyes as he thought back on their conversation. It wasn't difficult to parse Kensi's comments since he'd done most of the talking. He watched his partner carefully as he repeated, "I ruined the online dating thing for you; your father was a Marine, not a Madonna fanboy; your grandfather's name was Kenneth; I'm ridiculous, what else is new; you know your wines and woods." He smiled, "The only thing you reacted to just now, as much as you tried to hide it, was your Dad being a Marine. But I already knew that."

Kensi's head cocked subtly and one eyebrow barely rose as she continued to survey the street ahead of her.

He spoke slowly, gauging her response as he did. "Your father was a Marine," Deeks pronounced it as Kensi had before, and heard the possibilities. "Is it that obvious? Your middle name is Marina?"

Her lips pursed slightly.

"Nope, not Marina, then." But Deeks knew he was close if the glint in Kensi's eye was any indication. Another beat, and his face lit up as he said on a sigh, "Marie."

Now Kensi turned her head to look at him full on, a small smile gracing her face. "Congratulations, Detective Deeks. You figured out my middle name. Happy now?"

"So your parents named you after your mother's father and your father's profession?"

"No, Marie was a common middle name for the women in my father's family, he wanted to maintain the tradition. Especially since my first name was on the unusual side."

Deeks nodded, satisfied with her answer and his accomplishment at having learned this information about his partner. "Okay, Special Agent Kensi Marie Blye, now it's your turn to guess my middle name."

"No, really, I'm good. Let's leave a little mystery in our partnership for now."

"C'mon, you afraid you won't be able to figure it out?"

"No," she said indignantly. "I could if I wanted. I just don't want to."

"I'll even spot you a hint. It begins with an A."

"Andersen," Kensi replied immediately and confidently.

Pleasantly surprised, Deeks enthused, "Right out of the box with a solid Norwegian-American name! I guess you do occasionally listen when I talk. Impressive, but unfortunately wrong."

"No, idiot," she jerked her chin toward the building in front of them, all business. "Corporal Andersen, the man we've been waiting for. Just pulled up." Kensi opened the driver's door and got out.

"Ah, yeah, no. Of course that's what you meant." Deeks jumped out of the car after his partner. When he caught up to her as she was crossing the street toward their suspect, he offered, "So that was fun, yeah? Maybe next time we can play Would You Rather or Two Truths and a Lie. You know, different icebreakers to get to know each other. Since you didn't seem too keen on Twenty Questions."

Deeks wasn't disheartened when his partner's only response was to pin him with a deadly glare, which he discovered was only marginally better than her punch. But he was curious, relentless, and a damned good detective. And it was entertaining as hell to rile her up. Whatever the method, one day he'd know everything there was to know about Kensi Marie Blye, he was sure.

AN2: Chapter two will focus on (you guessed it) Deeks' middle name. I know many fic writers have used Andrew, but as far as I've been able to discern (and I used some of my own detective skills in the process), that's not canon. So unless someone can give me proof that Deeks' middle name is in fact Andrew on the show (I'll settle for an episode name and I'll re-watch it or read the transcript myself), I'm going to use something different in my story. But please do let me know if we've heard or seen Deeks' middle name, be it Andrew or something else. That chapter should be up next Sunday, so let me know ASAP, please.

AN3: No offense meant if your name is any of the ones Deeks suggested as those Kensi would be embarrassed by; several of them are taken from friends of mine (some, of course, are from TV shows, and some are in fact woods and wines).