Author's Note: My wonderful friend ClaudiaRain is celebrating a birthday this week, so this work is dedicated to her! This is a silly, just-for-fun team bonding story that will hopefully make her laugh as much as her stories have always done for me. This was meant as a one-shot but it's starting to get a little out of hand, so I'm splitting it into a 3-4 chapters that I'll hopefully finish posting in the next couple of weeks (famous last words). Hope you enjoy it!

Remind me again… Why am I at Barry's bachelor party?

Leonard reclined back in his seat, content to babysit the group's booth while the others were off celebrating with darts, pool and shots at the bar. It wasn't quite like him, he knew. Even with the buzzing crowd and the hot blare of TVs blasting tonight's game, he would still normally have preferred to get a little action. The old Leonard would've at least swiped a few wallets and abused Allen's tab before showing himself out.

But tonight, all Leonard cared about was his phone. Specifically, the messages he'd been getting on his phone all night.

From one Sara Lance.

It was either Barry's party, or go back in time and help Rip fight Vandal Savage all over again, she replied. I checked. Those were the only timeline safe options ;)

Leonard chuckled at her joke, wishing for the umpteenth time that Sara were here and not at the other end of a text message.

Oh yeah, he typed, his eyes glued to the screen. Tough choice. Once was enough for that mistake, though.

Sara's response was instantaneous. You know, that mistake was how we met.

Leonard paused, re-reading the words several times before he could breathe again. The message sent his imagination into overdrive, hearing innuendo in her tone that he knew probably didn't exist. It was just too easy to see her leaning playfully toward him, her eyes drinking him in, her smile an open invitation to explore the benefits of that meeting…

He swallowed.

That part, I'd do again.

He sent the message before his brain could catch up with his thumbs, then stared down at the phone with an odd sense of dread.

Ever since he'd been reunited with the Waverider – since he'd seen Sara again – he'd been afraid. Afraid that all the long days and nights he'd spent thinking about what the future might hold if only he could find the team were pure fantasy.

After all, so much time had passed for them. For her. Nothing was the way it had been, so how could he expect to just pick up where they left off?

He died. They'd moved on.

They couldn't have known that he was still out there, somewhere, just waiting for them. While he'd been dreaming about seeing them again – seeing her again – they'd been letting go, accepting that he was gone.

He scrolled up through older messages from Sara, thinking about the day they'd finally found him, and the handful of weeks since. About the disbelief on familiar faces, the anger on unfamiliar ones. And Sara's face… She'd been so closed off. Guarded.

He couldn't have prepared himself for that. And it made him wonder – had she missed him even a fraction of how much he'd missed her?

Leonard scrolled all the way to the top of their messages, to the very first one since his return:

You still up, crook?

It'd taken two weeks before she sent him that message. Two weeks he'd spent wondering how she felt, learning all he'd missed and beginning to understand her apprehension around him.

You know I am, he'd said.

Feel like a game of cards?

He stared at the message, remembering and feeling all over again the relief, the elation, the…hope, that the words had brought him.

Always, he'd said.

Sara spent hours in his room that night, talking and swapping stories, getting a picture of what they'd both been through in their time apart. It killed him, that he hadn't been there for her through all of it. He couldn't help imagining what he would've done if he'd been there when she found out about Laurel, when she'd faced another version of him, when Rip almost killed her… The list went on. And on. And he never wanted to leave her side again.

Captain…you played so badly, I'm afraid you deserve a demotion, he teased her, later.

Ugh. Don't call me that.

What, "Captain"? Why?

These messages still made him smirk, weeks later.

It's too weird, she'dsaid.

Not when everyone else says it.

That's them. You're…you.

After that, things had been – well, not exactly "normal," but at least, more like they'd been before.

The same banter and barbs as before. The same flirting and heated looks. And as before, he wondered if things would ever go further than that.

Maybe Sara had lost any real interest. Maybe she was just humoring him.

The doubt left him paralyzed.

Suddenly, the messages scrolled back to the present, breaking him out of those thoughts. Leonard watched as little dots bounced across the screen, showing that Sara was typing. He bit the inside of his lip, second guessing himself yet again, and cut her off with another message of his own.

What're you ladies up to now? he asked, changing the subject.

The dots stopped. A pause. Then started again.

Oh, you know, she said. Getting into trouble. The usual.

Leonard sighed, both relieved and disappointed that she'd let whatever she would've said go.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, he said.

Unbidden, the image of Sara making out with some pretty stranger sprang to his mind. He had no delusions – there'd been plenty others since he'd been gone, and maybe there would be plenty more. He wished again he was with her, so that just for tonight, he could scare anyone else away.

I think you mean "don't do anything I WOULD do." But ditto, back at you, she said.

For a moment, Leonard felt a swell of pride, imagining a twinge of jealousy in Sara's words. He shrugged at his empty booth – there was no one here he'd rather be talking to, no one else who could occupy his attention so completely. Her jealousy was unnecessary and probably non-existent, and still, he clung to the hope of it.

That leaves bar fights on the table, right? he asked.

Hmm, she said, taking a few seconds before the next message appeared. It's Barry's night, so maybe not.

I bet he'd love breaking one up though, Leonard countered. Kid can't take a night off from the heroics.

Ahhh. How… heroic… of you to think of him.

Leonard snorted. He was sick of the h-word, and Sara knew it. And so of course, she used it with him as often as possible.

Tell me, is your party as boring as mine? he asked, refusing to take the bait.

Well, our strippers are probably better, she said, and Leonard swallowed back another surge of jealousy. Kidding, she added, after too long of a pause. Iris made us leave the strip club as soon as we got there. I blame Thea- she picked the spot. Too trashy.

"Who're you texting?"

Leonard started, ungluing his eyes from his phone to find himself suddenly not alone at the booth.

"None of your business, Nathaniel," he snapped, glancing back down as his phone buzzed again in his hand.

Now we're at some bar. Uh oh, Felicity and Caitlin are about to do another shot. Gotta go.

"Come on," Nate whined. "You've been texting this woman all night. Are you seriously not even gonna tell us who it is?"

"How do you know it's a woman?" Leonard countered, tucking his phone in his pocket and crossing his arms across his chest. "And maybe I'm texting lots of people."

"Pfft." Mick plopped down suddenly, pushing the table several inches as he settled in. "It's one person," he said, raising his eyebrows at Leonard. "It is a woman. And, seriously, Pretty?" he scoffed, turning to Nate. "You don't know?"

Nate frowned, pointing at Mick. "You do?"

"Duh," Mick took a pull from his beer. Then belched. "It's Blondie."

Leonard mentally groaned, watching as the quizzical look on Nate's face turned to understanding – and then shock.

"Wait," he blurted. "Do you mean Captain Lance?"

"Don't call her that," Leonard said, automatically, not denying.

"But that's who she is!" Nate sputtered. "That's who you're texting? For real?"

"What're we talking about?" Ray asked, sitting down.

Leonard rolled his eyes as Ray patted him on the shoulder. While the inventor didn't annoy him nearly as much as he once did, he could only make this conversation worse.

"Leonard here has been texting Sara," Nate wasted no time in explaining. "All night."

"Really?" Ray grinned. "That's great! I'm so glad you two are picking back up where you left off. Have you made a move yet?"

"What?" Nate whined, his face falling in disappointment. "You knew about this too? How am I the only one who didn't know?"

"Didn't know about what?" Barry asked, pulling up a chair.

Leonard swallowed another groan – the only man worse than Ray; Barry Allen.

"Leonard and Sara," Nate supplied. "Did you know they're a thing?"

Barry's eyebrows shot up as he considered Leonard. "Sara Lance?" he asked, no small amount of admiration in his tone. "Really," he added, waiting. Leonard refused to confirm or deny anything.

Barry laughed, then, seeming to take Leonard's silence for admission, and his face broke out in a grin. "Man, she's what, twelve years younger than you?"

"More," Mick corrected.

"Depends on if you count those years in the fifties," Ray inserted. "But regardless of age, she could kill him about two hundred ways – without even thinking about it," he added.

"Yeah," Barry agreed, nodding at them. "Len, you have…" he trailed off, watching Leonard's face darken, dropping whatever he'd been about to say. "…Good taste."

"There is no 'Leonard and Sara'" Leonard snapped, belatedly, glaring at Nate. "Stop spreading rumors."

"Oh yes there is," Mick inserted. "Come on. We all know it."

"He's been texting her all night," Nate nodded, reiterating the point.

"There's definitely a 'Leonard and Sara'," Ray agreed. "There has been since you guys almost froze to death together."

"It started the second they got on the Waverider," Mick corrected.

"Nope. We are not talking about this," Leonard refused, crossing his arms and hunching his shoulders around himself.

"Oh yes we are," Barry insisted. "It's my night. And if you don't tell me this 'almost froze to death together' story right now, you're gonna ruin it."

"It's exactly what it sounds like," Leonard sighed. "It got really cold. We almost died. We didn't. The end."

"You're leaving out the part where Sara came out of that room wearing your jacket," Ray said.

"You can guess the rest," Mick agreed, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Ray grinned. "Tell us, how long were you cuddling for warmth before I got you guys out of there?"

Leonard clicked his tongue. "I don't cuddle."

"Ohh-h-h!" Barry grinned, taking far too much pleasure watching Leonard squirm. "Snart, are you in love?" he teased.

"Stop."

"Yes," Mick inserted.

"I am so fascinated by this," Nate said, staring at Leonard like he'd never seen him before. "How did you guys happen? Why have I never heardabout it before?"

"You weren't there when it happened," Ray shrugged. "They were so cute. Always playing cards together and talking."

"And drinking," Mick added. "And coming on to each other. And the eye sex, god, watching you two was like watching the start of a porno."

"We weren't cute," Leonard said, ignoring Mick.

"You were inseparable," Ray said.

"Enough."

"I still don't get it," Nate said, annoying Leonard with his staring. "Sara's a tough nut to crack. How'd she fall for Leonard? I mean, she friend-zoned me like right away."

"You're not her type, Pretty," Mick said.

"Hmm," Nate hummed, taking a sip of his beer as he thought. "You're right. I'm probably too masculine for her."

Mick chuckled. "Keep telling yourself that."

"Yeah, you're probably more Mick's type than Sara's," Ray said, grinning.

Nate tilted his head, regarding Mick speculatively. "Really?" he mused.

Mick's eyes slid to Ray, shooting him a look Leonard couldn't quite interpret.

"Have you kissed her yet?" Barry asked Leonard, drawing the conversation back to the topic at hand.

"Once," Leonard answered automatically, then inwardly groaned at the honest answer. They were getting to him, and fast.

Mick almost spit out his drink. He swallowed it with a hard gulp, clearly surprised. "When?"

"Right before the Oculus blew," Leonard said, without thinking. His heart sank as the table quieted, suddenly sobering.

"What happened?" Barry asked, his expression full of concern.

Leonard was man enough to know when he was cornered. He had to tell them, now. "She found me with my hand on the failsafe," he said, quietly. He took a pull of his beer, remembering. "But we both knew it was too late." Leonard paused, staring down at the table and avoiding everyone's eyes, even as he could feel them boring into him.

"And?" Ray prompted.

"And I told her to get out of there," Leonard snapped, his hand curling into a fist at the memory. "I told her to take Mick and go. Which she did. But before that..." He frowned. "It wasn't much. My arm was all the way up a bomb for God's sake. I couldn't even touch her. And then she was gone."

Nate whistled. "Wow."

"I'm sorry, Leonard," Ray murmured.

Leonard ignored them both, instead letting his eyes dart to Barry's quiet, thoughtful expression before returning his stare to the table.

"I've never heard that story before," Mick said.

"Yeah well," Leonard shrugged, feigning indifference. "I didn't have much chance to tell you. Not really surprised she didn't, either."

"So, wait," Barry said. "That was the last thing that happened before Sara thought you…died. Have you talked about it?"

"No," Leonard answered, shortly, taking another drink.

"Don't you think you should?" Barry pressed.

All his doubts and insecurities pressed down on Leonard again, weighing so heavy he thought he could choke. "If she were still interested, she'd tell me."

"What else is she saying by texting you all night?" Nate asked, incredulous. "Dude, she can't make it more obvious than that."

Leonard channeled his doubt into annoyance, throwing it all on Nate. "Really, Nathaniel?" he asked, laying on the sarcasm. "Texting is the epitome of interest?"

"Twenty-first century romance, man," Nate said. "Get with it."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Well, that's ironic, because the nineties just called. They want their slang back."

"Oh snap, step off," Nate said. "Doesn't make it less true."

"I think you're missing the point," Barry said. "Sara clearly has feelings for you. She thought you were dead for a year – now you're back. And you're just sitting on that?"

"Maybe I don't know what to say," Leonard admitted. "I lived a year without all of you, too."

Bzzt.

His phone buzzed, cutting off his train of thought.

"Is that Sara?" Barry asked.

"Yes," Leonard, Mick and Ray said at the same time. Leonard ignored Ray and narrowed his eyes at his friend – who just smiled behind his beer.

"What'd she say?" Nate asked.

"She says you're all a bunch of nosy teenagers."

"Come on, Len," Barry wheedled. "I'm a taken man now, I need this. Plus, you made me agree not to stick you at the single's table. You gonna have a date to my wedding or not?"

Leonard sighed. "She's just telling me about what the girls are up to. Felicity and Caitlin have had a little too much to drink, it would seem."

"Tell us exactly what she said," Barry insisted.

"It really doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does. What did she say?"

Leonard rolled his eyes, again (he'd lose them in the back of his head, soon), but unlocked his phone, re-reading Sara's latest message. "'Crisis averted. Some dumb guys bought Felicity and Caitlin kamikaze shots, but I drank them before they could and scared the guys off.'"

Barry's mouth quirked up in a smile before he steeled his expression. "Okay, here's what you say back –"

"Seriously, Allen?" Leonard sighed. "You want to dictate my texts?"

"Try, 'Nice work.'" Barry suggested, ignoring Leonard and drumming his fingers on his beer as he thought. "Then, 'Guess I can understand those guys. If I were there, I'd be buying you shots.'"

"'And I wouldn't be scared off so easy.'" Nate added, nodding at Barry.

"Really?" Leonard drawled. "That sounds like I want to get her drunk. And assault her."

"Well what were you planning to say?" Ray asked.

"Couldn't think about it with you all butting in," Leonard snarked. "Something like…" He shrugged, getting stuck himself. "Maybe, 'I'm sure Queen would appreciate that.'"

"Oh god, do not mention her ex," Ray groaned.

"Dumbass," Mick snickered.

"Yeah, probably don't want to bring up Oliver," Barry agreed.

"I've got it," Nate said, holding up a finger. "Start with, 'That's my girl.' Eh?" He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. "Then…" he paused, frowning. "Actually, just stick with 'That's my girl.' Then see what she says."

"What could she possibly say back to that?" Mick asked.

"She could say something like, 'Your girl, huh?'" Ray suggested.

Mick took a sip of his beer. "And then what's he gonna say?"

Nate and Ray paused, exchanging a glance.

"Um. 'Obviously'?" Nate said, uncertainly.

"You guys have no game," Mick grumbled. "None."

Ray and Nate were saved from having to answer by Harry and Cisco joining the group. They'd finished their game of pool and left Oliver and Joe to play Stein and Jax, with Wally and Ralph watching on the sides. They slid over new chairs, placing their beers on the table.

"What're we talking about?" Harry asked.

"We're helping Leonard figure out what to text Sara Lance," Nate said.

"You and I have very different ideas about what it means to 'help' someone," Leonard grumbled.

"Sara Lance?" Cisco asked, eyeing Leonard with surprise.

"Right?" Barry agreed. "Apparently, they had a thing for a long time before he, you know."

"Died?" Cisco supplied.

"Uh, yeah," Barry said, sheepishly.

"But now you're back," Harry said. "You still have feelings for her?"

"Definitely," Mick said.

"And she's into him too?" Harry asked, directing the question at Mick this time, since he was the one answering.

"Right here," Leonard reminded them.

"Oh yeah," Mick confirmed.

"They kissed right before he died but still haven't talked about it," Nate added.

"Thanks for the recap, guys," Leonard snapped. "This isn't a TV show you know."

"I can't believe it," Cisco said, ignoring him. "Captain Cold and White Canary." He paused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I dub thee… White Cold!" he said, then frowned. "No wait, Cold Canary! Wait. No," he shook his head. "Got it: Captain Canary."

"I love it," Barry said, grinning.

"I'm the master of hero names, villain names and couple names, what can I say?" Cisco smirked.

"Alright, what was the last thing she said?" Harry asked, nodding to Leonard.

Leonard opened his phone again, reading back the message with a sigh. "'Crisis averted. Some dumb guys bought Felicity and Caitlin kamikaze shots, but I drank them before they could and scared the guys off.'"

"We think he should start his response with 'That's my girl.'" Nate said.

"Wait," Cisco said. "'That's my girl' like, 'atta girl'? That's totally friend zone."

"No," Nate corrected. "You have to hear it in his voice. Leonard, how would you say it?"

"Yeah Leonard," Ray agreed. "Pretend I'm Sara. Say it to me."

Mick choked on his beer so hard he spit liquid from his mouth.

"Yeah Snart," he said, through coughs that sounded suspiciously like laughter. "Imagine Haircut's Blondie."

Leonard refused to even look at him. "No."

"She's going to hear it in his voice, so you have to imagine it coming from him," Nate insisted. "Just say it, Leonard."

Leonard ran his hand over his face, then sighed, for the umpteenth time that evening. He leaned forward, staring at the table and imagining Sara there. He pictured her in his mind, the smug little grin she'd be wearing after telling those guys off, the flush to her cheeks after the alcohol and victory. The way she'd be looking at him, that spark in her eyes, the way her mouth would shift a bit, from the grin into something more reflective of desire.

"That's my girl," he murmured.

For a moment, the table was quiet.

Then Cisco swore. "Damn."

Nate nodded sagely. "Panty. Dropper."

Leonard raised his eyebrows at him.

Nate lifted his hands. "Dude, I'm just saying. You've got this."

Harry shrugged, nodding. "The assumptive close. She's yours, but not in an overbearing way. It's good. You have to ask her a question though you know, or she'll have nothing to say back."

"Oh, that's a good point," Ray said. "Can't believe we forgot that."

"I can," Mick muttered.

"Ask her if she likes the adjustments I made to her suit," Cisco suggested.

Barry shook his head. "Come on, Cisco, we're being serious here."

"What?" He shrugged. "I seriously want to know."

"Ask her yourself later," Barry said.

"Can I see your phone?" Harry asked, holding out his hand to Leonard.

Of all of them, Leonard did trust Harry to be the least stupid. The man waved his fingers, motioning for Leonard to put his phone in his hand. Reluctantly, Leonard gave it to him.

"Okay, let's see…" Harry scrolled up, reading back through some of the messages, chuckling when he got to the end. "You're right about the heroics," he said, smirking at Leonard. "And she used a winky face," he added. "That's a good sign."

"She's sending you winky faces?" Nate asked, incredulous. "Dude. Tap that."

"Thanks," Leonard deadpanned, ignoring Nate. "But I'd like to answer her before she forgets what she even said."

"Alright," Harry agreed, turning his attention back to the phone and typing out a message with his thumbs. "How about this?"

Leonard took his phone back and looked down at the screen.

That's my girl. I bet those dumb guys tried to buy you a shot, too?

"Not bad," he said, grudgingly.

"It's brilliant," Harry corrected. "It's flattering, and it turns the subject to her relationship with men, which you can steer toward talking about her relationship with you." He folded his arms across his chest, looking satisfied with himself. "But see what she says first."

"What're you saying?" Nate asked.

Leonard read back the text, feeling incredibly foolish but not knowing what to do about it. When everyone around the table nodded in approval, he sent it, locking his phone again and leaning back in his chair, muttering to himself.

I can't believe I just let them dictate my text message – by committee no less.

The group quieted as a waitress came to the table, dropping off wings, fries, and an assortment of other fried foods.

Then his phone buzzed.

"What'd she say?" Cisco asked.

As one, the group turned to look at Leonard. He knew it was a lost cause to argue, so he just rolled his eyes before unlocking his phone and reading the message aloud.

"'Well, yeah. But I don't let just anyone buy my drinks.'"

Harry laughed.

"What?" Leonard shot at him.

Harry rolled a napkin between his hands, shaking his head at Leonard. "You know what you have to say, right?"

Leonard just raised his eyebrows.

"Give me your phone."