Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters are not owned by me.

Let Me Go

Sasuke Uchiha was going home.

He held his face in his cold hands as he sat at the foot of the bed. "Why am I doing this?" he murmured helplessly . What good was going to come of him going back home?

Home? Why did he still consider that place his home?

He hadn't stepped foot in that town in ten years. It was more of a prison than anything growing up there. He was always in the public eye. Everyone waiting to see if he would snap just as his older brother had when he murdered their family in cold blood that cold summer night.

He had left that place at the age of twenty-one. The moment he had graduated college and was recruited by the Elite, a secret national security team of the nation's government. They told him he had hidden potential.

A killer's instinct.

A skill of an assassin.

Of course, at the time, he thought they were insane.

"You've got the wrong guy," he had told them and walked out of the small bar at the far end of the town they had asked to meet. The two men weren't going to give up that easily. They had followed him out the bar into the rain. "What if we can help you find your brother?"

He remembered laughing this horrific laugh. A laugh of pain, sorrow, and anger.

Why now, he had thought to himself. Why now? Just a few days ago he had proposed to his girlfriend of five years. They had started going out in their junior year of high school. They only had a few more weeks left before they graduated college and moved on with their lives together. They had put a down payment on an apartment in the city just two days ago and this morning they had gone out to look for furniture.

He had let go of his past.

He was going to be happy.

He was going to be happy with her.

But as if by a cruel design—he had been presented with a choice.

He had been given a choice just as he had made peace with his past and found happiness.

Move on with his life with her or find his brother so that he may finally bring justice for his parent's murder.

Sasuke was jolted from his trance by the ring of his cellphone.

"I'll be down in a minute," he said, knowing it was the car service he hired to take him to the airport. He sighed as he grabbed his small black leather luggage. It was going to be a painful journey back home.

A painful journey back to her.

He tried his best to settle his thoughts, to not follow that dark path back to the past. He couldn't help it though. He had an eight hour flight and felt nothing but dread. He knew he was doing this to hurt himself as he had hurt her.

"Why are you doing this?" she had asked him that dark night, tears streaming down her face. "Some strange men promise you something and you say yes without even knowing what they want from you?"

He had kept his distance as they talked. He didn't know how to console her. He had never seen her cry. She had always been so cheery and happy. He knew she wouldn't have taken the news well, but he didn't know what else to do other than to be frank with her.

"I have to do this. My parents deserve justice and I need answers. If they can find my brother—"

"What about us, Sasuke?!" She had shouted. "You would rather chase a ghost than to move on and be happy!? It's been thirteen years Sasuke. You were eight years old. You blame yourself for something that you had no power over. Please, let it go…for us." She had embraced him. Her tears soaked his black t-shirt.

He had held her so tightly that night. She hadn't seen how scared he was at that moment as he tried so hard to hide his fear. "I have to do this. I can't sleep at night. I have forced myself to move on and forget, but I know I'm lying to myself. I can't make you happy. I can't start a family with you and keep you safe when I know he is out there. I'll always be thinking of him with fear that one day he'll show up and finish what he started." Sasuke's lip trembled. "I don't want him to take you from me."

The turbulence on the plane helped Sasuke ease out of his memories. He chuckled to himself.

I don't want him to take you from me. He repeated in his mind. Ah, the irony of that thought, as he caused the very thing he was trying to prevent. He remembered promising her that he'd come back as soon as he found his brother. He had begged her to wait for him.

He had gone back. Four years later at the age of twenty-five.

He had snuck into the hospital where she was doing her residency for medical school. It had been a slow winter's night. A few patients needing some medical attention from the usual winter flu but nothing dire. He had on a white lab coat for disguise and the moment the young patient left the room with her mother, Sasuke had slipped in.

Her back had been turned to him, busy writing in the chart. She didn't have a lab coat on, just her green scrubs. He could see her figure even from the badly fitting scrubs. The stress of her studies had taken a toll on her as she had lost a lot of weight. He had watched as her body tensed and knew she sensed his presence.

He had wrapped his arms around her small waist and rested his chin on the top of her head. At five-feet six inches, she was taller than the average women but his six foot-two frame towered over her.

"Sasuke…"He heard her whisper, her body had stiffened against him. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours but he knew it wasn't even a full minute. Her body heat had felt so good against his cold one. Her hair had smelled of strawberries. She had always used the same shampoo.

God, how he had missed her.

She had wiggled out of his arms and turned around to face him. SLAP! Her hand met his face. He had known his presence would be of a surprise to her but didn't think she would slap him. His cheek had stung, pretty sure he had a red hand print on his pale skin as well.

"How dare you!? Who do you think you are to just show up out nowhere! You haven't called me in four years…" Sasuke had found himself zoning out her frantic rambles and just stared at her. Her beautiful green eyes glistened with tears. Her cheeks and nose had turned a shade of red. Her soft hair was gathered in a high ponytail.

Can someone truly miss another so much?

He had wondered what she would think of his appearance. Had she been able tell the dark rings under his eyes were not just physical but also from the hollowness of his soul. Had she been able to tell he was standing taller and was muscular but inside he was curled up in a dark pit, alone.

"I thought you were dead!" Sasuke found himself embracing her once more. Had she felt how strong he had become and not from his extensive training but by the heavy guilt he carried. Had she noticed that his once pale white hands were now red from the number of lives he had taken?

"I'm sorry," was all he could muster.

Had she figured out what he had become? What he had done? Why he had not returned for so long?

Would she had still loved a killer?

A consistent beeping ended the silence embrace between them.

"That's my pager, my patients are waiting." She had moved away from his hold and wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

"Hn." They had stared at each other from a foot away and he knew she knew.

She knew what he had become.

"Did you find your brother?"

He had nodded uneasily.

She let out a sigh of what had appeared to be relief but also dread.

"Are you finally coming back as you promised?" She had asked but it was a pointless question. A man that had plans to stay wouldn't be sneaking around a hospital in a disguise to see his fiancé.

Sasuke's hands had curled into fists for a moment as he tried to gather his wits. "I came to tell you it's time to let me go."

She had gone as hysterical as she had four years ago when he had told her he was leaving to hunt down his brother.

"I waited! You asked me to wait for you! You promised you'd come back! You left me and never told me where you were going or never checked in to tell me how you were doing! I started to think you were dead! Y-You left me! All I've had is this damn ring and your empty promise to keep me going!" She had thrown the engagement ring at him and he had caught it with lightening speed. Her eyes had scrutinized his movement.

She knew.

"What price did you pay for your revenge, Sasuke?" she had asked him with such sadness. It hurt him to his core that with one look at him and she knew he had become the very thing he loathed.

He had closed the distance between them and captured her lips with his. His kiss had been aggressive at first, as if urging her to kiss him back. When he had felt her soft lips hesitantly move against his, he slowed down. He kissed her with more longing and love. Please remember me as I was, he thought to himself with desperation. Just a simple boy you loved, please.

Their sweet kiss had ended too quick as she whispered against his lips, "Stay with me, Sasuke, please."

Reality had dawned on him that he had already stayed longer than planned. He couldn't risk being spotted here with her.

"I love you Sasuke, please…" His face had been cupped with both of her hands as she looked up at him with pleading eyes.

Sasuke had embraced her one more time and in a low, endearing voice, he had said, "I'll always love you." He touched her pressure point near her neck and put her to sleep. She had fallen limb into his arms as he carried her to the patient exam chair and laid her down. He had kissed her lips one more time and forced himself to not look back as he walked away.

Sasuke looked out of the window. It was a clear blue sky. He let out a grim sigh. He closed the shade on the small airplane window and found himself fast asleep.

"Sir? Hello? Sir?" Sasuke was nudged awake by the stewardess.

"Yes?"

"Sir, we are getting ready to land, please put your seat belt on."

"Hn."

He was grateful to have been woken from his nightmares.

He was a thirty-five year old skilled assassin. He became what his brother was all in the name of revenge.

How many times did he wake up at night wishing he could go back to that night he had told her he was leaving to join the Elite so that he may have chosen her instead? So they may have lived a happy and peaceful life?

He looked at the ring on his little finger. It was a simple gold band he had bought at a pawn shop for a hundred bucks in order to propose to her. It wasn't that he couldn't afford a priceless diamond ring. He hadn't wanted to use his parents blood money in anyway. To this day, all that fortune still sat in a bank vault.

He kept the ring she had thrown back at him all these years. He liked to think it kept him safe. That it reminded him that he was still human and not a coldblooded killer.

Who was he kidding?

Sasuke waved down a taxi as he exited the airport building.

"Where to?" The driver asked with a thick middle eastern accent.

"Saint Lucy's Church, on the east side."

The driver eyed him up and down. He had changed in one of the airport restrooms into a tuxedo. "Ah, going to a wedding!? I love weddings! Hop in, Saint Lucy's it is!"

"Hn."

"My daughter is getting married four months from now. It's such a joyous moment! So, who's getting married?" The enthusiastic taxi driver inquired

"A friend." Sasuke replied abruptly, hoping the man would take a hint that he preferred to have quiet ride.

"Oh! Bride or groom's, which party are you?"

Sasuke gave the man a stern look. "Just drive."

The rest of the hour and a half from the airport to the church was quiet, again leaving him to his dreaded thoughts.

His brother had been a member of the Elite. The Elite had set up his brother making everyone believe he had killed their parents.

From the age of twenty-one to thirty-five, he had lost his love, he had murdered his own brother in cold blood, he had found out that the Elite were in fact behind the murder of his parents and had misguided him to find and kill his own brother, in which he had spent the remainder of the years tracking and killing their members in return.

Now he was just a hired hitman. What else could he do? Go back and find a woman, get married and have a few kids? Live happily ever after?

He stopped wishing for that long ago.

The only happiness he had come to witness was hers.

The taxi pulled up in front of the church. He paid the man the fare for the ride and stepped out the yellow cab with such heaviness in his chest.

Seeing the outdoor church adorned with flowers and white ribbons along with a limousine parked outside with the sign Just Married on the back made him feel disorientated.

He blamed it on the jetlag and lack of sleep for the way he was stumbling up the staircase. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this nervous. He couldn't think straight. What was he doing? Why was he here?

"Why am I here?" He asked himself as his hand held the gold metallic handle. It wasn't too late, he could turn back now.

He knew he couldn't.

He had to do this.

For her.

For himself.

He needed closure. He needed to stop thinking of her. He needed to witness her moving on with her life. He needed to see her happy.

He needed to see her laugh and smile.

He needed that spark of innocence to help him survive.

It had been so long since that night in the hospital.

He had never looked back and when he found himself in the middle of the chaos with the Elite, he knew he could never go back in fear that they may find his connection to her. Although he had taken care of them years back, he couldn't bring himself to return.

Would she have loved the monster he had turned into?

Would she had understood those nightmares that kept him awake?

Nightmares of all the people he was told to kill in the name of national security?

He didn't want to bring her into the world he had created, and he knew he had no space in her life.

Today he came to witness the day he only dreamt of having.

It wasn't noon yet, but he didn't want to stand outside the church and raise any questions. He opened the door and walked into the cool room. The pews of the church were decorated in white and light blue roses. White ribbons were on every aisle. The alter of the church had white and blue roses everywhere.

It was only half past eleven.

The aisles were crowded with adults and kids, all dressed beautifully.

All dressed for a Sunday Wedding.

Her wedding.

"Pardon me young man, but are you with the bride or groom?" An elderly woman approached him with a clipboard.

Sasuke cleared his throat as he answered, "Bride."

The woman gave him a beaming smile as she pointed to the left of the church. "Follow me," she led the way.

"Um…can you tell me where I can find her?" He asked. The elderly woman turned around and informed him that she was still getting ready and led the way to where he could find her.

Shivers ran down his spine as he followed her to the stairs that led to the basement of the church.

"She's with her bridesmaids, still fussing about the dress and hair. You know how it is," the woman waved her hand as if she has been through this one too many times. "What did you say your relation was to the bride again?"

"I didn't," he mumbled as he walked down the stairs, leaving the old woman baffled at his abruptness.

Sasuke's heart was racing, the palm of his hands sweaty. His mouth suddenly dry.

He wasn't prepared for this moment.

He heard laughter coming for the end of the hallway.

"Ladies, we can't be doing this now."

He stopped dead in his tracks. That sweet voice. There were many missions where he thought he wasn't going to survive but the thought of one day hearing her voice kept him going.

Now here he was, steps away, scared.

The great Sasuke Uchiha was terrified.

He leaned against the wall near the ajar door. His world was spinning. What had he done to himself?

What had he done to them both?

"Hush, it's your wedding, we gotta do something new, something blue, you know how it goes…"

"Yea hun, let me go first though, open my gift first, for something new…"

He drowned out the voices, trying to ease his heart beat. Calm down he told himself. Calm down!

"Damn, I could've sworn I had my something old gift in my purse. I must've left it my car, be right back!"

At the sound of heels clicking against the wooden floor, he quickly straightened up.

"Oh, my, well whom do we have here?" A woman in a blue mermaid gown appeared in the door way. Her long blonde her up in a ponytail. "I'm not even going to ask if you're with the bride because I know my best friend wouldn't have hidden you from me for so long." Her blue eyes pierced at him as she laughed. "Well don't just stand there, what do you want? Is her soon-to-be-hubby checking to make sure she hasn't run away?"

Sasuke couldn't find the will to stop her from taking his hand and leading him to the room.

"Hey ladies, look at the handsome fella I've caught eavesdropping."

"Isn't he a hunk!?"

His vision had blurred, it felt like he was looking into a tunnel and the only thing he could see was her. Her back was to him. Her hair pinned up. Her white dress flowing from all directions. A princess dress, just like she had always dreamed of.

She had twirled around with the other three girls beside her, all giggling. "Who is it, Ino?"

He watched as her flushed, happy face turned pale the moment her gaze fell on him.

The look of a person who had seen a ghost from the past.

A monster.

"Sasuke…" she gasped, her hands went to her mouth, shocked.

The women, noticing the tension, scurried out the room.

"Um...are you okay?" Ino asked her as she grabbed her arm. "You're as white as your dress!"

"I'm—uh—I'm—you said—you said you w-were getting something o-old," she stumbled to take a seat, avoiding him altogether. "I'm seeing things—I'm—I'm—I had too much champagne." Ino lightly fanned her with a folder nearby.

"What in the world are you talking about? Yeah, I was going to my car, and walked into the guy in the hallway, sheesh, what's up with you all of a sudden?"

Sasuke hadn't moved an inch from the doorway, unknowing how to proceed. He wished he were invisible. The hatred in her eyes when she had looked at him felt like a knife to the heart.

"Ino, get out." He heard her mumble to her friend between heavy breaths.

"Huh? Why? You don't look well—"

"Get out," she repeated, this time getting up onto her feet.

"But—"

"I said get out!" She pointed at the door, face now flushed red with anger.

"What the fuck? Gosh, I'm leaving," Ino pushed past him in a huff.

Sasuke moved away from the door way and cautiously locked the door behind him. He kept his distance and watched from afar as she placed a hand to her chest.

"I can't breathe," she started to pant,hunching over. "I can't breathe...I can't breathe...T-this d-dress is too tight, I c-can't..."

He rushed to her side and lifted her onto his arms. She was as light as a feather even in the layers of white fabric.

"I can't b-breathe," she kept repeating as she was eased down onto the sofa. "Oh, god, this isn't h-happening."

Sasuke knelt beside her, holding one of her hands in his while her other hand she used to hide her face.

"Sakura…" he whispered her name. A name he hadn't said out loud in fourteen years.

She slowly sat up in the sofa. "Sasuke." She burst into tears. Her hands covering her face. "Why? Why?"

Sasuke reached into his pocket and took out a handkerchief that matched his white dress shirt. He used it to dab away her tears. "Sakura...please," he pleaded so she would stop crying. He couldn't believe he was next to her, holding her.

She stood up abruptly, causing him to stumble backwards from his kneeling position.

"Why are you doing this to me?" she begged, hands motioning to her chest.

"I-?" he was speechless as he stood up tall.

"Why Sasuke? Why now? Why on this day? Out of all these years, why now!?"

Her makeup was running down her face, her breathing was still uneasy.

"Sakura…"

"No! You don't get to say my name, you don't get to just show up on my wedding day, you don't get to take away my happiness again, y-you don't!"

Sasuke walked to her and embraced her like he had done years ago. She fought against his chest at first, but he didn't let her go. Soon enough she had grown tired and simply let him hold her.

"Why now?" she asked again, this time looking up into his dark eyes. That hatred he thought he had seen a few minutes ago was misjudged. She displayed such anguish. He had planned to watch her get married from afar. Why hadn't he stuck to his initial plan? Why had he willed himself to see her?

He couldn't bring himself to talk. He hadn't thought it through this far.

"You left me—twice."

"Hn."

"And now? Why are you here?" Her lips quivered as she talked. She looked smaller and more fragile than what he remembered her as. Her face, though just as beautiful, was no longer round. Her cheek bones were more defined. She had grown into a beautiful woman. His only regret was that he had not been by her side as they both matured.

"I need," he paused. What did he need that she could give him? What could he take that wouldn't blacken her soul to match his? "I need forgiveness, Sakura." Against his better wishes, he let go of his arms around her and took a few steps away.

Her features softened as she took a better look at him. Did she see how tired he was? Tired from all the running, hiding, lies, killing? Did she see that he had given up and he needed to see her to have some hope?

"I waited for you even after that night at the hospital, you know that right?" She said ever so softly. "You told me to let you go and I didn't. I had hoped…for a very long time, that you'd come back."

He looked at her in bewilderment, had she really? Had she still seen humanity in him that night? What about now?

She choked back some tears as she continued to talk. "By the time I turned thirty, I had finished school, had a full-time job in the surgery department, had my own place, had friends, but I didn't have you. I was so alone. I felt so helpless. I didn't know how to reach you and you never tried reaching me. So, I gave up. I couldn't waste my life anymore on a chance that I'd see you again."

Sasuke turned his gaze to his feet, he couldn't look at her eyes anymore. The loneliness she had endured because of him. The sorrow. It pained him. He had thought after that night, she would have understood that he wasn't coming back.

So why are you here now? he asked himself.

"I met someone, Sasuke," she said in a hopeful tone as she walked to him. "He is a local police officer. I took a bullet out of his shoulder—that nitwit wouldn't stay still. We've been together since." She laughed at the memory, but he could tell sadness was also there. "He is good to me," she whispered as she placed a hand on his cheek and gently massaged it. "He loves me." Tears streamed down her face yet again. "And I love him."

Sasuke nodded with understanding. He looked down at her emerald eyes and he got the answer of the question he was afraid to ask. Afraid of how it will hurt him.

She was happy.

"I-I have done a lot of things Sakura, some by choice and others by necessity, and if I could undo any of it—my parents death, my brother's, all the other people, I wouldn't—I would've chosen you." He tried his best to hold his composure, but inside he was dying. "I'm sorry for what I've done to us."

She kissed him.

It was short, almost a peck on the lips but he will never forget the softness of them nor the saltiness from her tears.

A sweet, tender kiss.

She stepped away from him and patted her face with the handkerchief. "God, look at me, I'm a mess." She chuckled sadly.

"You're perfection," Sasuke whispered under his breath. He reached into his tuxedo jacket and pulled out a blue envelope.

"What is that?" she asked as she hesitantly reached out for it.

He gave a grim chuckle of his own as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his pants. "Something old…something new…something blue." He mustered up a grin to lightening the mood. "It's my parents mansion. It's currently being renovated into a clinic for you to run should you want it, along with enough funding as I put your name in their inheritance."

"Sasuke, I can't!" she gasped. "That's your family's—"

"It's a memory of my family I don't want. I hoped you would turn it into something more pleasant. If you don't want it, you can choose whomever else to give it all to." He shrugged as if it weren't a big deal. Though they both knew how much this impacted them both.

She nodded and gave him another embrace. "Thank you, this is amazing."

Sasuke held her tight to him. He was letting her go finally. After fourteen years, he was letting her go.

The tightness on his heart only grew. The room seemed to get smaller.

"I love you, Sasuke. I've always have and I always will. I may not know what has occurred in your life all these years but just know that I understand. You'll always be a part of me."

The pain he felt was far worse than a bullet to his chest. He felt it then. The warm, wet tears fall down his face. He couldn't hold it back. It brought him back to that night he had killed his brother. How he had cried in the darkness of a dusty motel room knowing he had blindly killed an innocent man, his own brother. Knowing he had lost the love of his life by blinded revenge. Knowing he had lost everyone he loved.

"Thank you, Sakura," he replied, almost not recognizing his own coerce voice.

"What will you do now?" She asked, her head resting on his chest. He was thankful she hadn't looked up to see him so broken.

He shrugged, unsure of himself as he forced back the remaining tears. He had a few loose ends to close with certain clients. But then what? Continue being a hitman? Or make a whole new identity of himself? He could start over.

He almost laughed. He had one too many enemies to be able to completely hide.

"I'll figure it out," he mumbled and gave her one last squeeze. Just as he done years ago, he walked away from her and didn't look back.

He found himself outside the church, finally able to breathe after being in that small room. His chest ached in ways he had not known possible. His body felt heavy. He tried his best to pretend he was going to be fine in front of her but now he felt the agony ten-fold.

The church bells rung.

The time had come.

A final farewell.

He took one last look at the church and whispered a final goodbye, "I'll always love you."

The End

Thanks for reading, your thoughts are welcomed.
Should the next chapter have a story of a break up or make up?