Title: Duality

Genre: Angst/Romance

Pairing: Morgan/Reid

Rating: M/ NC17

Summary: Spencer Reid is the love of Derek Morgan's life, but with the genius's break from reality, Morgan had no one else to blame but himself.

Benchmark Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, it is trademark property of CBS corp and studios. This is a work of fiction only.

A/N1: This idea slapped me so hard I had to post it, despite the fact that it has a way to go in the way of writing the rest of it.

2. Please be aware that this story, though separated in breaks is a long one-shot. I decided to break it down into chapters, mainly for the suspense value which was the reaction I got from my awesome Beta: KTT2123 and because I have to finish writing it. Also, it seems like it takes place over a stretch of days but when it all comes to the conclusion you'll see why. Then I will put all in one large chapter.

3: PLEASE NOTE THE TIME STAMPS.

Beta and un-beta'd: Beta is in the most awesome KTT2123, who on her first reading on this part was like, "…W.T.F…" is my adviser/sounding board/cheerleader but unbeta'd as in not grammatically run through.

"Albert Einstein asked a question that sometimes drives me hazy, am I or the others crazy?" Season 1 episode 8: "Derailed." (Spencer Reid's voice)

BAU Headquarters, Quantico VA. August 20, 9:48 a.m

The severely strained look on SSA Hotchner's face said it all as he once again pocketed his cell phone.

JJ had just come to them with an urgent case from Philadelphia where an UnSub was on a killing spree. In the last three days the UnSub had murdered six young women, one was first, two were on the third day and three were the seventh. If the projection was right the body count would increase by one each day and that meant four in the next few days and five six to follow.

He or she was escalating extremely quickly and they had to get on top of this or the country would be thrown into a panic. They needed to move out immediately and one critical person of the team was AWOL; Special Supervisory Agent Spencer Reid.

Hotch had tried his number over five times and each time he had got nothing so he resorted to desperate measures; Derek Morgan.

The obsession crimes expert, who was double checking his go-back jerked when his name was snapped, "Morgan!"

Derek Morgan took in the grave face of his unit chief and mentally swore, "Yes, Hotch?"

Dark eyes pinned smoother chocolate ones, "Reid isn't answering; do you happen to know why considering you two were together last night?"

"No idea Hotch," Morgan shrugged nonchalantly as his conscience screamed "liar!"

Morgan didn't exactly know why Reid, who hated to be late, hadn't turned up for work, but he could assume some of it.

Last night, after a four day stretch of straight paperwork he, feeling the need to decompress had coaxed Reid out into going to another club, knowing full well that the young genius had earmarked that time to put order to his ever overflowing bookcase.

Morgan had prodded the boy genius with the (vain) hope that his time, the fifty-sixth, Reid would actually have some fun.

He'd been wrong.

The night was a repeat of the fifty-five times before it. Reid had parked his sweater-vest and corduroy pants clad self to a table in the corner while nursing his version of a cocktail, vodka and cranberry juice (hold the vodka) and looking completely out of place.

A few people had approached him but after Reid had launched into his nervous rambling stage, spouting something that from the motion of his lips had to be something about the fermentation of vodka from potatoes, they had scurried away.

Morgan, feeling a little pity for his awkward colleague, had cajoled him into a dance where the darker agent had to literally steer his hips for Spencer to even shift them.

Derek hadn't really minded because the club they were in was a fairly open minded one and same sex couples were dotted throughout the crowd. And besides, after coming to grips with his bisexuality, which the team didn't know of (he kept his business to himself). Morgan had no problem doing it because he knew that the boy genius, even though processing his actions as strange, would allow him to.

The second Morgan's hands had settled on Reid's hips, Spencer's pale face had bloomed red. A soft shade that Derek privately felt was attractive on the genius.

Reid had twisted his head away to look deliberately at the wall which made his uneven movements even jerkier.

Morgan had to gently force Reid's face back to him and grinned at the "deer-caught-in-headlights" look. And just like the seldom times he had seen those eyes this close, he felt like he was drowning in them. They were a hypnotic shade of molten gold, an undefined shade that made Derek's grin slip just a little.

"You're killing my pride here Reid," Morgan coaxed, "Just let loose for once in your life."

"Let loose?" Reid had complained quietly, "Morgan, are you a masochist or something, because I'm pretty sure that for your aim of decompressing, this, dancing with me, is going to drop your chances of scoring to negative numbers."

Derek shrugged with a smirk, "Maybe I don't need to go home with a fiery hot redhead or a banging brunette tonight. Sometimes just messing with you is enough."

Reid had wrinkled his nose in that cute way like when a cat got miffed and sardonically drawled. "I'm so honoured to be your entertainment factor tonight."

"Good," Morgan grinned, "Now stop thinking and move, and don't even think of giving me that glare and the thirty-seven minute lecture that a human being can't stop thinking. I know you pretty boy."

Spencer had sniffed but with the following minutes had valiantly done what Derek had asked...even with his two left feet. After the twelfth time of Reid stomping on his, Derek, laughing had tugged Spencer off the dance floor to the bar.

"So after the disappointment of dancing, now you want to get me drunk?" Reid glared teasingly, "Why Derek Morgan, are you going to ask me over for coffee too?"

Morgan has almost spit out his drink, "What do you know about that kind of coffee pretty boy?"

"Absolutely nothing," Reid said wryly bending his straw, "That's the point,"

Derek while nursing his scotch took a good look at Reid and absently appreciated the soft sheen of sweat on his forehead that was glinting under the strobe lights of the club. His hair was back to the attractive boy band cut with a long bang over his right eye and the honey golden strands were curling at the ends.

Morgan had to clench his fist to stop his fingers from running through the tousled hair. A gesture common place at the BAU where everyone knew was just casual teasing but would probably send mix messages here.

Derek spotted the "far away" look on Spencer's face and realised that the genius was buried somewhere in his mind and was absently biting his lower lip causing the thin appendage to bloom red with blood.

Spencer then shifted to look at the crowd and that move highlighted his androgynous face; a face that Derek wasn't afraid to privately admit haunted him in his dreams some nights.

Derek knew he was 'the' ladies man, but even after adjusting to his new state, Morgan had still kept up his 'skirt-chasing' attitude because he wasn't going to let his hard worked for reputation go to waste.

He still chased and was chased after by women of all creeds and cultures while shoving his attraction to Reid into the deepest and darkest part of his mind. Over and over again he told himself it wasn't going to happen.

Compartmentalisation is a profilers best friend, without it no profiler would ever sleep at night, so Derek made sure to never even give a hint of who he was at his job. Even if it came out he'd likely sever his arm before he approached Reid, but even with it all, he just couldn't stay away.

Not a day went by when he didn't ruffle Spencer's hair, offer a hearty clap on the shoulder or give him an assuring grin or annoy him by calling him 'pretty-boy' or when he could get away with it, 'baby-boy'.

When they needed Spencer to be at the top of game, it had only taken him three times to get the coffee-to-sugar ratio of Spencer's coffee right. When they had downtime, he had taken a chance to spice the diabetes-in-a-cup up with drops of peppermint, a spoon of nutella here or even almond spice there.

Surprisingly, Spencer still drank them all.

The young man was the perfect target for pranks and believe it or not the kid, when the war had started, had given as much as he has gotten. Morgan would never forget lying in the air-plane's chair and hearing Reid's screams in his ears.

Reid was unstoppable when he was on a roll, spouting out facts only found in textbook that perhaps less than one percent of people on the planet had even read. In the early years he had known that the genius could talk his way out of every situation but when it came to self-defence he was completely bothered.

He'd never admitted it but his fear for Reid had started the day he had gotten on a train with a psychotic and used sleight of hand to save a train full of people- Elle included. The man was resilient too, every time Morgan remembered Hankel and Reid's struggle with his addiction to Dilaudid and even his weakness after the anthrax poisoning had made Morgan worry out of his mind.

Those nights he'd stay awake, lying on his sofa in the half light, just rubbing Clooney's ears for comfort and praying the Spencer would make it through.

At first he had thought the only reason he couldn't get Reid out of his mind was because he felt a big-brother type of overprotective feeling anytime Spencer was out in the field without him. That overprotective feeling had somehow coalesced into a worried-out-of-his-mind secret lover feeling.

Last night had severely challenged his oath to not try anything with Reid.

In the half darkness of the club, after their disastrous dance, Derek had cast an eye over the crowd a ways from the bar and felt the inordinate need for some peace and quiet. Putting his empty glass down, he had jerked his head to the door. "Wanna split, pretty boy?"

Spencer had looked at him in shock, "B-but I thought you'd want to stay. You haven't been out for a while, considering the case in Michigan and Ohio and then the back and forth in Houston. Not to mention the little downtime we had was filled with paperwork which admittedly, I borne the brunt off, but I still think..." Reid paused to breath," Isn't this therapeutic for you, your way of winding down?"

Shooting a look over the dancing bodies Derek had to admit, it was his ground for letting off steam but this time...

"Yea, it is kid," Derek admitted with a shrug, "But sometimes strobe lights and pulsing music cannot solve everything. And I'm damn sure it ain't any calming atmosphere for you; so let's split, if you're ready."

Jumping at the chance to leave Spencer had nodded eagerly and practically ran to get their coats.

Outside in frosty air of late November, the two walked to Derek's truck and hopped in. Derek switched on the ignition and the seat warming process very soon after. After a moment Spencer basically melted in his comfy seat and adjusted it a bit back to allow for his long legs.

Derek had shot a quick look over and Spencer's head tilt to the side as long lashes fluttering over butterscotch eyes until they closed completely with the appearance of sleep.

The kid looked so peaceful like this, but Derek knew it was a temporary façade because Reid was plagued with troubles- on every side.

Derek knew about the nightmares, the sleeplessness, the damaging migraines and the latent fear of inheriting the schizophrenia his mother Diana was suffering through. Derek knew about the NA meetings and how Spencer struggled to stay clean when temptation was bulldozing his mental door.

Every time fate founded it funny to throw a roadblock in the Spencer's way, Derek had watched the kid surmount them and each time he won Derek had like he had won with him.

Soon enough Derek pulled into the driveway of Spencer's apartment and after unbuckling his seat-belt had reached over to gently prod Reid into full consciousness.

Golden eyes blinked open halfway and then fully. A fond smile crossed Derek's face at the slightly bewildered look on the young man's face.

"We're here kid," Derek said gently.

"Oh," Spencer blinked himself into awareness. He then reached across and released the safety latch.

Derek stilled for a moment wondering why Spencer's head was bowed and why his long fingers were fiddling with the strap on his belt.

Feeling concerned Derek prodded Spencer's side, "Didja hear what I said pretty boy, we're at your place."

Still Spencer didn't answer and how Derek was getting concerned. "Reid, are you okay? You're not drunk are you? Cause if you are Hotch will literally kill me if you report tomorrow morning half-assed."

Still nothing came from the youngest agent and then Derek was getting scared, "Spenc-"

"I heard what you said Derek," Spencer said lowly, his voice was a bit mumbled because of the position of his head.

"Pretty boy, you're scaring me, tell me what's going on."

It happened in a flash, Spencer looked up and as he did his bottom lip, clearly bitten, slipped out from between his teeth. Derek felt a strong surge of attraction go through him and in the next seconds those lips were on his.

The dark agent froze before his senses kicked in and he felt Spencer's lips. They were perfect, slightly chapped, thin and soft and faultlessly bow shaped, fitting into his like a missing puzzle piece. A million things flashed through Derek's mind, shock predominantly and then arousal.

By instinct, Derek titled his head and opened his mouth a little to allow Spencer's tongue to enter. When the hesitant muscle touched his he felt a torrent flood of red hot lust just before it froze with fear.

Derek felt panic run through him like a strike of lightning and he pushed Reid off. He was dumbstruck for a moment as his mind worked in panic to find words he needed to say to an expectant Reid. Morgan knew he had about five seconds to either accept him or reject him but somehow no words came.

The streetlight just before then highlighted Reid's eyes and after the five seconds of silence the golden orbs were contorted in the pain of rejection.

Before Morgan knew it Spencer was out the door and in a flash keyed the door and was inside. Derek, while trying to regulate his breathing, felt his hands spasmodically clench and release over the smooth steering wheel cover.

His mind was still trying to come to grips with the fact that Reid had just kissed him.

Spencer Reid; slender and lanky the resident genius of one eighty six IQ, blessed with an eidetic memory; he was a bombshell in the bullpen and a bookworm outside of it. The socially awkward, stuttering prodigy, probably slated to reproduce by mitosis, had just upped and kissed him.

Holy fuck, who else knew that Reid was...gay? Well, considering Austin and Lila, he was more likely bisexual, but still?

Morgan ran a shaking hand over his face and sighed, the profiler within him instantly recognising that he'd just dug himself into a deep shit laced ditch with Reid.

The shy young man had probably just annihilated all of his personal internal rules of engagement for him. Reid was never the type to be forward so what the hell had happened?

Was it the alcohol or maybe it was the dancing?

Still trying to come up with a reason, Morgan drove away forcing himself to think of where to go next instead of what had happened five minutes ago.

Lately he'd taken to staying a night or two among three of his already renovated homes, in a bid to choose one to permanently live in.

It could be flat on Naples Street with the hot tub on the back deck or the duplex on Fourth and Hemingway with the large backyard, a favourite of Clooney, or maybe it was the four bedroom house on Fletcher Street with the huge fireplace, the perfect setting for a making love.

Morgan wasn't sure which. Lately he'd been feeling the urge to settle down and be in a stable relationship. God knows how that could be though because his track record with stable relationships was absolutely zero.

Or, maybe he'd just go home tonight and relieve his neighbours of Clooney.

That sounded right. Pulling up his home Morgan staved the troubling feelings off while knowing that they were bound to resurrect while he was in bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling.

After collecting Clooney from the teen next door, Alex, and giving him a generous fifty dollars bonus, Morgan went inside and robotically went through his routine.

Dust out Clooney bed in the washroom, refill his water bowl, reset the alarm, take a hot shower to rinse off the club's smell of sweat and smoke, change into sweat bottoms and grab a beer. Morgan slumped against the couch and this time didn't even try to stave off the thoughts of Reid.

He knew he wanted Spencer but how did Spence come to that conclusion? Derek was damn sure he never, never given off any of those vibes to the young man. He was a profiler, a damn good one at that, and he knew they knew nothing because he had let them see nothing. So how did Reid know?

Derek knew that Reid was alone, that the boy wonder didn't put himself out there to get attention from others… so was Spencer construing his constant attention into something else?

Was it because of the early mornings in the hotel rooms when he had to hold a quaking Reid from another of his nightmare, or maybe it was his instinctively placing his back to Spencer's when they were surrounded by UnSubs or was it the simple pick up gift of coffee and a blueberry scone in the afternoon when the genius's energy was running low?

Or…or…Morgan didn't dare think of it…maybe Reid had felt that way for him all this time?

Closing his eyes he re-felt it; the soft sensation of Reid's cranberry flavored lips on his and then the urge to push Reid against the door and ravage his cute mouth until he was panting and so aroused that he was begging for Derek to take him.

But in that same split second his cognitive mind had realised that is was Reid who kissing him!

Taking a deep swig of the beer Morgan cursed the adverse reaction of his fight or flight response, "More like fucking freeze," He murmured darkly into the bottle.

Rubbing a hand over his scalp Morgan groaned, "Damn it baby boy, couldn't you have given me a heads up or something? At least some sign you were into me would have made all the difference."

Derek imagined that Spencer must have sat there and gone over every scenario and hypotheses until he gave up and went with a gut feeling instead of a fully prepared tactic.

Picking up the phone he'd called Reid, knowing that this was such a pathetic way of trying to fix his blunder. As he expected, Spencer hadn't answered and Derek couldn't blame him.

If someone had had done what he had done to Spence to him, he wouldn't have answered either.

But now…

"Morgan," Hotch said in his no-nonsense, unit chief tone which snapped him back to reality. "We need Reid on this. Go get him and come back pronto, wheels up in fifty."

"Why not send JJ?" Morgan asked trying to not sound as reluctant as he really was. "If anyone can drag Reid out of a funk, it's her."

Aaron's eyes narrowed, "JJ is occupied with making sure the right people are there when we hit the ground running. Rossi is updating Strauss and Prentiss using her mother's influence to finalise the gag order on the press."

Now he was getting a bit desperate, "What about Seaver?"

Now Hotch really did look suspicious, "Agent Seaver is on desk duty for that stunt she pulled with Drew, and you know Reid and Seaver don't get along. Why are you hesitating Morgan? Did something happen between you two last night?"

"Yeah," Derek sighed, "Last night… we went out but… I hooked up with a chick and kinda gave Spence the cold shoulder. By the time I looked around he was gone. A few moments later he texted me telling me he was at home and to have fun."

"Ouch." Aaron commiserated, "Knowing you two that's a hard pill to swallow but put on your game face and go get him. We cannot lose the one."

"Yes sir," the ex-cop reluctantly.

Hotch's hand flew up and Derek snatched the keys to company's SUV out of the air, "Go swing by his place and get him, pronto. Drag him out of bed and drown him with coffee if you have to."

Sooner that he liked, Derek was at the Lagham Apartments, staring at the second floor where Reid's apartment was. Every fiber in his being wanted to turn around but there was greater cause here. He couldn't be selfish and it wasn't like delaying would put off the inevitable so, gritting his teeth Derek jumped out of the vehicle and strode to the doors.

Luckily another tenant was leaving and he slipped in with the open door. Swiftly he bypassed the rickety elevator and took the steps and in forty seconds flat he was standing at room number twenty-three.

Morgan grimaced, knowing that what was going to happen next was going to surpass uncomfortable, but he still knocked.

Nothing.

He tried again to get the same result, nothing. He then banged on the door, "Come on Reid, open up. We need to go."

Still Derek tried again and to his surprise, Reid answered, "Coming, hold on."

Morgan frowned, something was really off. Reid never sounded so...chipper, ever. But that was Spencer Reid's voice. Derek hated to think it but was Spencer on something? Damn it was he back on… drugs?

Grimacing even more Morgan stood, mind prepared to straighten out the major blunder of last night.

The door opened and just as he opened his mouth to speak the picture before less than a foot away from him made Morgan's eyes pop wide open. Reid stood there, adroitly leaning on the door jam with his hair in a ruffled, just-rolled-out-of bed way, he had on a fitted V-necked sweater and deep blue bootcut jeans.

Jeans; holy shit! Jeans! A piece of clothing that Morgan swore Reid never had. What the hell was going on?

"Reid?"

Hazel-green eyes blinked before a crooked smile titled Spencer's lips. The next words he spoke would never be erased from Morgan's memory.

"Oh, you're looking for Spencer," Reid said a little too smoothly for Derek's comfort. It was almost like a cat's sibilant purr. "I'm sorry, he isn't here."

A stifled beat of time passed before Morgan frowned, "….I'm sorry?"

"You asked about Spencer," Reid said easily…almost flippantly, "Like I said, Dr. Reid isn't here."

When those seven words really sank in, Morgan almost had an aneurysm.

TBC…

I will post the next chapter but I ask you to read them in the sequence they're in. When it's all done I will post them in one long one-shot. So...what do you think? Comments/criticisms will be appreciated.