A/N: Hi everybody! Yes yes, I'm still alive, don't you worry.
For those of you who might be wondering what happened to me, the answer is "nothing, really." But to be honest, life had me down for a bit and it affected my writing. But fret not, I seem to be getting my mojo back, so I'm hoping that I will have a new chapter of Captain Swan next Sunday!
In the meantime, this one-shot fic is a little something that I wrote a bit ago but never found the right moment to upload. I figured since it's been a while since I posted something, now would be a good time to do it.
It's a short piece that runs from the very beginning of the show, right up to the night before the wedding, which ends up not happening (because, duh.) I was inspired to write it when I watched a gif of Emma asking Regina "Shots?" over and over again.
I hope you enjoy it!
"How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you've ever tasted?"
That was Emma Swan's first drink in Storybrooke.
Before shit hit the fan.
And then the crash, and the wolf, and getting arrested.
And then Henry trying to keep her there, and having it work.
And then the feud between the boy's two mothers, the constant attempts to one-up each other, to outdo each other. And then Graham died. And Emma became Sheriff.
And then the curse broke. And even more shit hit the fan.
The Wraith, The enchanted Forest, Cora and Hook, coming back to Storybrooke. Greg and Tamara. Neverland. Pan.
Emma lay in her bed contemplating all of those events in their consecutive order and sighed as she realized one thing.
She could really use a glass of that cider right about now.
And that's what she had been planning to tell Regina when she rang her doorbell all too late in the night to be considered decent.
"Ms. Swan?" the brunette asked in confusion.
"Evening Regina." She smirked at her nervously.
"Care to explain why you're ringing my doorbell at eleven-thirty in the evening? Henry's asleep." Regina said.
"I know. I didn't come here for him." Emma sighed.
"And to what do I owe this pleasure?" Regina asked.
"I was wondering if you wanted to have a drink." Emma shrugged.
"Shouldn't you be drinking with Neal?" Regina said with just a hint of jealousy spilling out, making Emma raise a brow at her before she shrugged.
"He's still out spending the night with Gold and Belle. Wanted to catch up, he's probably staying the night." She explained. "And…I can't sleep."
Regina rolled her eyes at Emma's explanation and sighed.
"Well you're in luck, it just so happens that I'm also having a difficulty sleeping tonight." Regina said as she pushed the door open wider. "Come in, I was just about to pour myself a glass of cider."
Emma smiled at her in relief and stepped inside.
"I was hoping you'd say that."
"You should take it easy." Emma said as Regina downed her third glass of cider in the span of fifteen minutes.
"Our son." She started off with an unfocused glare. "Is stuck in the body of a psychopath. I'll take it easy when he's safe and back in our arms like he should be."
Emma sighed and rested back on the couch in the brunette's home office.
"Can I ask you something?" she chanced.
"If you must." Regina sighed.
"When did he become our son?" Emma said with a soft smirk that didn't fully reach her eyes.
"What do you mean?" Regina asked.
"I mean. We started off with 'he's mine!' 'no he's not he's mine!'" Emma explained with mock-tones and voices.
"I do not sound like that." Regina pointed at her accusingly with the hand that held her fourth glass.
"That second one was me." Emma said and Regina chuckled softly. Emma smiled. Regina needed to laugh more, it was a nice sound. "Seriously though when did yours and mine become…ours?"
"I suppose…When we stopped fighting each other over him and started fighting together for him." Regina reasoned.
"Fair enough." Emma nodded. "Which started…When exactly?"
"God knows." Regina sighed. "Every thing's all blurred together all of a sudden."
"That's because you're on your…Hey why is your glass empty?" Emma asked.
"My glass is empty?" Regina sighed and reached for the decanter. "Better fix that."
"Okay. I'm cutting you off." Emma snagged the decanter before Regina could get to it.
"Oh sure now you're the responsible one." Regina rolled her eyes. "I could just magic that bottle out of your hands you know?"
"No you can't, you can't even focus on me long enough you'd just end up dropping it." Emma sighed and put the bottle out of Regina's reach.
"Just one more glass?" Regina asked.
"No." Emma said and Regina slumped in the couch as Emma dropped next to her again. "Hey…"
"Hey." Regina said in a small voice.
"I know you're worried." Emma began. "But we'll get him back. We always do."
"Save the pep talks for your mother Emma." Regina sighed. "At least with her I can ignore them."
"You saying you can't ignore me?" Emma poked her teasingly. Regina slapped her hand away gently and squirmed upright as best she could.
"I can ignore you like I can ignore a flesh eating leech." Regina said with a teasing smirk. "I can pretend you're not there but I'll still feel the itch."
"You're saying I give you an itch that needs scratching?" Emma teased. Regina rolled her eyes.
"You're horrible." She groaned.
"Yeah but you wouldn't be the same without me." Emma said with a smirk.
"Oh please."
"I bet I'll prove you wrong."
"You wish Swan, you wish."
In The Enchanted Forest…
Emma Swan always proves her fucking wrong. She sighed in thought as she sat on the chaise in her palace. She was in the Enchanted Forest. Zelena had finally left to do god knows what and plot her oh-so-evil plan that included flying monkeys and a broom…
But she didn't particularly care too much right then. She was miserable and lonely. There was no Henry…No Emma. And as she stared down at the cider in her goblet in mild disgust she sighed, even the usually rich and sweet drink didn't taste the same without the blonde.
Meanwhile in New York City…
Emma sighed at her glass. She had craved apple cider, which was strange for her usually, she was more a vodka or jack kinda girl usually. Maybe wine if she didn't want something too strong. But she was hit with the sudden craving for cider and she went to the 24/7 store and bought some but it didn't taste right. It was good, not that she had great standards, cider-wise. But something was missing…
She couldn't shake the feeling that it was some one.
Back In Storybrooke, Before The Battle…
"Drink?" Regina offered as she stood up from the couch in her office, where she and Emma had been sitting silently for what felt like ages. They didn't know how to start talking about everything. Neal wasn't even cold in the ground yet, and Regina's life had just been threatened. Emma looked up at the woman who, she thought with fear in her heart, might perish before the sun went down.
"You shouldn't drink." The blonde advised. "The last thing Zelena needs is to get the upper hand because you were too drunk and missed her with your fireball."
"I am perfectly capable of handling myself, Emma." Regina snapped, throwing back her brandy with finality.
"Well at least switch to cider so it isn't as strong." Emma suggested. Regina sighed, humoring the blonde but pouring her a glass, handing it to her.
"Only if you join me." She said. Emma nodded and took the glass, sipping the sweet and now very familiar drink.
"Do you have a gameplan for this fight?" she asked.
"I'm going to step into main street and fireball Zelena's stupid face off." Regina said.
"Okay, you're starting to sound like me. Which is fine for me, but bad for you." Emma pointed out. "You need to come out on top in this fight Regina."
"You think I don't know that?" Regina spat. "The last thing I want is…"
"What?" Emma looked at the forlorn brunette with concern.
"For me to die without Henry ever remembering me." She said with a frown, downing the contents of her glass quickly. Emma sighed.
"That won't happen." She said.
"And what are you going to do about it then?" Regina said. Emma rolled her eyes.
"If I have to jump into that fight at the last second I will." She said.
"Oh please don't make me laugh." Regina said. "Why would I ever believe you would do that for me?"
"Regina. I understand you hate the entire world right now. But I need you to get your head on straight." Emma said sternly.
"Oh you need me to? And why is that, Miss Swan?"
"Because, Madam mayor, I just lost Neal, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you too." Emma snapped. Regina froze at the confession before she put her glass down.
"You're better at fights than I am." She said quietly after a minute of silence. Emma looked over at her and the brunette looked up at her with eyes so intense and pleading, Emma could feel her heart shattering at the sight. "What would you do?"
"Regina!" Emma knocks on the door to the mayoral mansion for what feels like the hundredth time. She'd gone to the past and come back with Marian without knowing who she was, and the former queen now hates her for it. "Regina please! I had no idea!"
As if that mattered. The bitter woman inside the house thought as she sipped her cider. She sneered at the glass. The sweet drinks flavor would be forever tainted with all the memories it brought her of the blonde woman who was standing outside pleading for forgiveness.
"Regina the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you…" Emma said, her voice faltering slightly, clearly genuinely upset at the outcome of her actions. "I'm sorry!"
The brunette never opened the door, and the blonde eventually decided it was best to leave her be.
And hour later when Regina opened the door to check if Emma had actually left or had taken to camping out on her lawn until she was forgiven, she found, instead of a blonde puppy with guilt in her eyes, a bottle of her favourite wine, and a bouquet of flowers, all meaning to signify sincere apology, and a single red rose in the dead centre of the bouquet. She brought the peace-offerings inside, and the bouquet lived out the rest of its days as a centrepiece for the coffee table in Regina's personal study.
It was very rare that they drank outside of Regina's mansion.
"I'm not in the mood for a hope speech, Emma." The brunette complained when Emma hopped up on the stool next to her.
"You're mistaking me for my mother. Besides, you don't need a speech. You need a drinking buddy." Which is what the blonde had been for ages now. Regina looked up at her with a quirk in her brow. "Shots?"
"Sure. Why not?" Regina shrugged. Cider wasn't the answer to all her problems…sometimes they needed something stronger.
"You know, you did the right thing today." Emma gave her a small smile.
"There it is. A hope speech." Regina sighed. "I thought we were drinking."
"It's not a speech it's a compliment." Emma pointed out.
"Well, I don't need your validation." Regina sighed, despite how good it felt. "I know I did the right thing. I know because I'm miserable…again."
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, so is Gold." Emma smirked. Regina responded in kind with a slight nod.
"It does."
Clink
And they drank. And for a moment they were silent, staring into each other's eyes, and everything in that moment was perfect.
And then Henry ran in and took their full attention.
And Emma found out about Operation Mongoose.
"I like it. It's got style." She gave a nod. "I'm in."
"You are?" Regina looked at her. Emma gave her a small smile, the courage from her shot still coursing through her veins.
"I made you a promise I intend to keep." She said, her eyes bearing into Regina's, the brunette's heart skipping the occasional beat. "Everyone deserves their happy ending."
"Are you sure you don't need backup?" Emma asked, sipping her cider.
"For the last time, Emma, I'll be fine." Regina gave her a look. The queens of darkness had just come to town, and she'd joined their ranks undercover. She was set to meet them at the diner tonight, and was having a drink with Emma before she did to build up her courage. Emma's anxiety wasn't helping.
"I just don't want you to get hurt." Emma said.
"I'll be fine." Regina said again.
"And watch how much you drink there, magically turn it into water or something, if you get too drunk they could take advant-"
"Emma I. Will. Be. Fine." Regina enunciated loudly in frustration.
"Fine. Jesus." Emma sighed, throwing back the last of her drink. Regina narrowed her eyes at the blonde.
"You're jealous." She said.
"Don't be ridiculous." Emma said. Regina gave her a knowing smirk.
"Emma, I'm just going undercover, you're my real drinking buddy." She reassured.
"Damn right I am."
"Emma…" Regina tries to kill the silence they'd been sitting in for an hour now. "…Thank you."
"I killed someone, Regina." Emma sighed, drinking her whiskey. The cider was too weak for her now.
"To save our son." The former queen pointed out. "I mean if you wanna get into the legality of it I'm sure that falls under the self defense law."
"Like that means anything." Emma sighed as she poured another drink. Regina shifted from her seat on the armchair right next to Emma.
"I know you don't believe it, but you did the right thing. As questionable as it is." The brunette placed a gentle hand on Emma's shoulder. "I'll always be grateful for what you did to save our son…because I know it wasn't easy for you."
"What happens if their plan works?" Emma said, her voice cracking a little.
"What do you mean?" Regina asked. For the first time since Emma arrived that night, the blonde looked up at her, her eyes full of fear that only Regina could see.
"What if I turn dark?" she asked. Regina sighed.
"Then I'll fight tooth and nail to bring you back to the light." She said. "It won't be the end…you know it never is with us."
Emma sighed, leaning her head on Regina's shoulder, seeking her out for comfort. And the brunette met her halfway, wrapping an arm gently around her shoulders. She wouldn't push her away, not when Emma had been the one to chase after her when everyone else wanted nothing to do with her.
Neither had any idea that it would be a long time before they sat in that office and drank together again.
Regina drank alone when Emma went dark.
And again when they returned from Camelot without their memories and were faced with the real Dark Swan.
And every single night until the darkness left her. And then she blindly followed the recently returned savior to Hell to save Hook.
And Emma kept trying to talk to her since then. But it never happened, she was never successful.
Regina was sure that whatever bonded her with the blonde had died when she fully turned dark. It saddened her, though she would never admit it.
She didn't know, when Emma showed up at her door full of concern after Robin jumped in to save her, whether to feel even more upset that it had to take the death of the man she loved to bring Emma back, or to see it as the best silver lining she could have.
She'd let her in without a word, lead her into the study, and poured her a drink in silence. Emma realized it would stay like that until she spoke up.
"Regina…" she tried. The brunette sitting beside her looked up, her eyes broken, bloodshot from all the crying and the lack of sleep. Emma's heart shattered on sight. "…I'm so sorry."
"He's gone Emma." Regina said thickly. "And there's nothing I can do to bring him back."
She crumpled, falling sideways, and Emma caught her, holding onto her as tight as possible. She thought that this is what true loss felt like…so why didn't she have the same reaction towards losing Hook?
She wondered how much it would break her to lose Regina…
Between Hook coming back, and Regina being bitter about it, and the Evil Queen wreaking havoc among town, the next time they drank together was when Emma called off the engagement. And with Snow there, the two barely got a chance to talk.
"Here." Regina dropped a tumbler in front of Emma. "Cider."
"Thanks." Emma gave her a small smile. She took a sip and gave the glass and offended look.
"What's wrong?" Regina asked.
"Yours tastes way better." Emma shrugged. Regina tried not to act cocky about it. She failed, and she didn't care.
The Night Before The Wedding.
"Don't drink too much." Regina said as the blonde managed to put away her third drink already, they hadn't even been here an hour.
"Bite me I'm getting married tomorrow." Emma said. Regina raised a brow.
"You don't seem to excited." She said, leaning forward in her seat with a smirk. "Getting cold feet?"
"…no." Emma sighed, already sipping her fourth. Regina was sure she used magic to refill her glass because the decanter was still safely in its place on the drink trolley.
"Emma if you're still drunk tomorrow I'm not letting you go up to that altar." Regina warned. "I mean, I wish I could have been drunk for my wedding but I didn't particularly have much say in the matter."
"Maybe it would be a good thing." Emma sighed.
"What?" Regina asked, her brow furrowed. "I thought you'd be happy."
"You know what? I am." Emma raised her hands, suddenly not looking so bitter. Regina didn't buy it too much. "Forget I said anything. Let's just enjoy my last night before I become…ugh…Can I keep my name or is it like one great big foul, tradition wise?"
"Let's just say, be happy you're in the modern world. You'd probably be lynched if you said you refused to take his name back in our world." Regina pointed out, resting back in her armchair. "But you're free to do so here."
"Small blessings." Emma muttered. They sat in silence for a moment and Regina got a questioning look on her face. "What?"
"I'm just wondering…" she sat up, her mind running ahead of her. "You remember the storybook? How Belle was able to break through to rumple a little bit?"
"Yeah. She nearly broke the dark one curse…would have saved us a whole lot of trouble if he hadn't buried his head even further up his ass." Emma shrugged. "What about it?"
"Why didn't it work when Hook kissed you…" Regina asked, trailing off a little. "When you were fighting against the darkness so much…it should have worked."
Emma sighed forlornly. "You don't get it, do you?"
"Don't get what?" Regina asked curiously. Emma bit her lip and then let out another sigh, as if she were about to drop a massive weight off her shoulders.
"He's not my true love." She said, throwing back her drink after she said it.
"What?" Regina said in shock.
"He's just…I don't know." Emma shrugged. "He's nice…I guess…And he's good looking…if you're into that."
"Oh my god." Regina realized. "You don't love him."
"Nope." Emma's glass was suddenly filled with whiskey rather than cider and Emma threw that back too.
"Emma Swan." Regina said firmly, her heart breaking for more than one reason. "Why on earth are you going through with this?"
"Because…" Emma looked up at her intensely. "I can't have who I truly love…and I…"
"Emma." Regina said softly.
"I don't want to be alone." Emma sighed, a tear rolling down her cheek. Regina got up and dropped down onto the couch next to her.
"You'll never be alone, Emma." Regina said.
"My parents want me to have my own family." Emma sighed. "After all this time, after we found each other and we've been through so much…I think I owe them that."
"You don't owe them anything." Regina said. "And it's not my hatred for Snow talking either, you know we're past that."
"I do." Emma said. "Doesn't change anything."
"It does." Regina said. "You shouldn't marry someone for the sake of your parents. If they like Hook so much, they can marry him…your father certainly looks close to it at any given moment."
"Gross." Emma complained in a way that reminded her of their son. Regina fought off a smirk.
"You said you can't have who you truly love…why do you think that is?" she asked.
"Because…" Emma bit her lip. "Because she's a woman."
"…oh." Regina said with a slow nod, not entirely surprised. A singular thought came into her mind that excited her, but she banished it. Another heartbreak wasn't something she could deal with, especially not on a whim. "Well why does that matter?"
"Apart from the whole thing of having to explain it to my parents and the fact that I'm worried they'll shun me for it?" Emma asked rhetorically. "I don't think she's into women."
"Well have you asked?" Regina suggested.
"Regina you can't just ask if someone is gay." Emma sighed.
"Why not?" Regina shrugged. "Of all the things I'd thought I'd see in my lifetime, you marrying someone you don't love because you're scared is…well it's the most ridiculous."
"Most ridiculous thing I've seen is your sister in her green skin." Emma shrugged. Regina rolled her eyes.
"Don't change the subject." She chided. "Who is this woman?"
"Can't tell you." Emma said plainly. Regina scoffed.
"Is it Ruby?" Regina asked.
"She's dating Dorothy they already had their kiss thing." Emma waved off.
"Ashley? She's way too young for you." Regina said.
"Also has a true love. If you're gonna try and guess at least make it plausible." Emma complained.
"Belle." Regina suggested.
"Ew. Henry still calls her grandma…no." She sighed. "You're not gonna guess."
"My sister."
"Gross." Emma said loudly.
"Tell me or I'll text her telling her you said you have a crush on her. She's kind of desperate she'll take what she can get." Regina teased.
"Don't you dare." Emma warned.
"Or what? You'll destroy my happiness if it's the last thing you do?" Regina laughed as Emma rolled her eyes.
"I'm supposed to be the drunk one." The blonde complained.
"Oh come now Emma." Regina sighed. "Whoever it is, I'm sure they love you back…I'll deny it if you ever tell anyone I said this, but you're quite lovable…a lovable idiot but that's just going into detail."
"Will you promise not to hate me if I tell you?" Emma said with worry in her eyes. Regina's brow furrowed as her eyes turned to the blonde.
"Why would I hate you?" she asked softly. Tears sprung to Emma's eyes and Regina's face morphed into massive concern.
"It's you." She admitted, just above a whisper.
Emma closed her eyes, unable to look Regina in the face after her admission, waiting for the silent and slow rejection to come, the one she thought she'd avoid for the rest of her life.
Instead, she felt a pair of soft lips press against hers. Her magic lit up inside of her at the kiss, her mind reinvigorated as if she hadn't just had downed six drinks in one hour. Her heart pounded and pumped like an engine just before it blew up and caused a nuclear disaster.
She opened her eyes to meet Regina's deep, brown ones.
"Do you have any idea how long I've dreamed of you saying that?" the brunette whispered to her, her breath hitting her lips.
"Well maybe if you said it first I wouldn't have to cancel a wedding tomorrow." Emma said. Regina chuckled and Emma couldn't help but joining in. She pushed herself forward slightly to connect her lips to Regina's again, tasting the cider on contact. And Regina decided she didn't hate whiskey as much if she only had it off of Emma Swan's lips.