Milestone

Jack sat back in his chair, scrubbing his hands over his face and through his hair. He hated paperwork. He loved it when it was done, and it was damn useful fifty years later when history repeated itself and they needed to pull up every little scrap of information they could find to help them figure out whatever had gone wrong that day. But he hated sitting at his desk, his arse falling asleep, his fingers cramping, while he dutifully recorded every detail he could remember about the aliens in the park, the technology gone wrong yet again, the Rift causing another spaceship to crash into the bay. He could be hunting Weevils with Ianto, or having dinner with Ianto, or shagging Ianto in the bunker below, maybe on the bed, or against the wall, or in the shower…

Shaking his head of such thoughts in the middle of the afternoon, Jack couldn't help but glance out the window into the Hub. Gwen and Owen had gone on a retrieval, but Tosh and Ianto were sitting on the sofa, heads close together as they studied something on one of the laptops. Ianto was pointing and gesturing and positively demonstrative—he looked happy and excited. Tosh laughed at him and Ianto shrugged sheepishly, but he didn't stop grinning as he leaned forward and began typing.

Maybe it was a report, though Jack doubted even Ianto would get that excited over a report. Unable to bite back his curiosity, and desperately needing a break (twenty minutes was a long time to stare at a piece of paper for him), Jack stood, stretched, and walked into the Hub. Tosh and Ianto looked up immediately and exchanged a glance, before Ianto shut the laptop halfway, as if he were hiding but not exactly hiding whatever was on the screen. He pulled on that mask he was so good at wearing, the bland, dutiful butler face, though Jack thought he still saw a sparkle of excitement in Ianto's eyes.

"How're you doing, kids?" Jack asked, tucking his hands into his pockets. He felt like he had interrupted something and desperately wanted to know what it was. Jack hated feeling left out, especially if it was being left out of something that Ianto obviously enjoyed.

"Good," said Ianto, nodding as if to himself. "Just finishing up the, er, schedule."

Jack grinned. "Didn't know we had a schedule. I thought we all worked until we collapsed from exhaustion and then started over the next day."

"The spending schedule," Ianto corrected. "You know, the budget."

"Wow, you're done early!" Jack exclaimed, exaggerating his surprise. "That's not due for three months! Did we all get raises? Can I get new boots?"

Tosh giggled while Ianto rolled his eyes. "By all means, I'll see if I can sneak footwear into one of the line items."

"If anyone could do it, you could," Jack replied with a wink. This time Tosh smirked, and he hoped there was a hint of a blush across Ianto's cheeks and forehead, though the Welshman was awfully good about holding that in check around the others. "So what're you really looking at? Budgets don't tend to make anyone but the most sociopathic of accountants as excited as you two right now. Not hiding anything, are we?"

"'Course not," Ianto scoffed. Tosh bumped him on the shoulder.

"Just tell him," she said in a stage-whisper. "It's impressive."

"Yes, impress me," Jack replied, coming around to sit down on Ianto's other side. "Though after last night—"

"Right," Ianto coughed, and Jack was sure there was a pink stain on his cheeks this time as Tosh laughed.

"I knew some of those posts were too realistic!" she said. "Even you couldn't make that stuff up."

Ianto sat up straighter and gave her a positively haughty look. "I most certainly could. But I do have quite the pot to draw from."

"Draw from for what?" Jack asked. He was curious enough now to burst.

"Stories," Tosh replied before Ianto could stop her. He fell back against the sofa again and stared up at the ceiling as she explained. "Ianto has an online blog."

Jack stared at him in surprise. "You blog? About your life? With Torchwood?" He was practically speechless, trying to imagine the kinds of things Ianto was putting out there and the possible security implications.

"Yes, no, and sort of," Ianto replied. He sighed, gave Tosh a friendly glare, then explained. "It's a blog dedicated to all the weird stuff that happens in Cardiff. I follow several of them, to keep an eye on what people are saying, but most of them are rubbish."

"So you decided to start your own?" Jack asked.

"Ianto is a natural," said Tosh. She sounded like a proud older sister. "He peppers ridiculous stories about aliens and monsters with just enough reality to make it feel possible. Plus he knows how to use punctuation—and his off-topic posts are amazing!"

"Off topic posts?" Jack asked, hardly wanting to know.

"Biting commentary and brilliant smut," Tosh told him. Ianto groaned.

"That last was your fault," he told her.

"You didn't have to take the dare!" She was laughing again, and though Jack was confused, he also sensed their strong friendship and was glad for it, even if he wasn't a part of it.

"Of course I did," Ianto replied with a wave of his hand. "Or do you not know me as well as you think?"

"So you write online porn?" Jack interjected. Tosh almost fell off the sofa laughing, while Ianto offered one of his best 'What the hell?' faces in a long time.

"I do not write porn, no," Ianto replied. "I merely throw in some other adventures every now and then, of the bedroom sort," he added, and couldn't hide a grin that Jack shared. "Tosh dared me to, so I did. Said it would build character."

"And the rest of this blog? You're not putting Torchwood secrets on the Internet, are you?"

"Of course not," Ianto replied, the eye roll clear in his voice. "Initially, I joined the local blogging crowd as a way to keep an eye on how much Cardiff knew about us. Which is not as much as they think they know," he added, shaking his head. "Most of it is ridiculous, but every so often it's a bit too close for comfort. So I started writing my own, with an occasional bit of truth thrown out there now and then to keep them biting, while continuously throwing them off the real scent at the same time."

"Huh." Jack studied them both. "And this helps us how?"

"A few reports have turned out to be real," Ianto replied. "Most are easy enough to discard, but that Hoix in Grangetown last week was first reported by FoxyScully93."

"The Hoix we took down in the middle of dinner?" Jack asked in surprise. "I thought that came in through the polic."

Tosh shook her head. "The police dismiss most of those calls as drunk university students. We've been pulling better information from the blogging community for about six months now. Sort of like how we troll eBay for alien tech."

"And you never said anything?" Jack asked.

"Didn't think of it," Ianto admitted. "We started it while you were gone. It's a fun little side project, much better than sifting through police reports so dull I want to put my eyes out."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Does Gwen know?"

"Nope," Ianto replied cheerfully. "Otherwise who would sift through the police reports?"

"That's kind of mean," Jack pointed out. "I like it. You two are dangerous, you know."

"We are," said Tosh. "Especially because Ianto hit a milestone today!"

"Do tell!" Jack laughed. He was enjoying himself immensely.

"Ianto now has over sixteen hundred followers," she announced. Ianto shook his head, but Jack could still see the smile and the sparkle. For some reason, Ianto was tickled by the achievement.

"Sixteen hundred people are following your fake blog about aliens in Cardiff?" Jack asked. "Nice."

"I thought so," Ianto replied. "Feels like I might be doing something right."

"Or people are just that curious," Jack offered.

"Ianto's got a great imagination," Tosh said. "Sometimes even I'm not sure if he's making it up or telling a tale from London."

"Then I am doubly impressed," Jack laughed. He leaned over and kissed Ianto on the cheek, loud and wet and sloppy. Tosh burst out laughing again while Ianto stuck out his tongue and wiped off his face.

"Doesn't take much to impress you," he said. "You believed that story about my dog getting eaten by the local tomcat."

"You said it was a small terrier," Jack said. "And that tomcat definitely sounded alien."

"I've never had a dog," Ianto replied. "Though there were plenty of tomcats in the area, and I wouldn't be surprised if some of those bastards were alien considering how big and mean they were."

"No dog?" Jack asked.

"I'd like one someday," Ianto replied, patting him on the knee.

"Why did you tell me you had a dog then?"

"I think that was one of last month's posts, wasn't it?" asked Tosh. Ianto grinned while Jack groaned.

"You mean I'm a test subject?" he asked. Ianto smirked and squeezed his knee this time, letting his fingers linger.

"In more ways than one," he murmured.

Tosh snorted, then tried to cover it as she jumped up. "I think I'll let you two celebrate and go pick up some coffee. Congratulations, Ianto. Maybe you can make a new post for tomorrow!"

She giggled all the way over to her station, grabbed her purse, and left without a look back. Jack turned to Ianto and raised his eyebrow. "Can I read it?"

"Of course," Ianto replied. "But maybe we should take Tosh up on her suggestion to celebrate?"

"You want a congratulatory shag for your fake alien blog?" Jack asked in amusement.

"Is there a problem with that?" Ianto replied in a sublimely innocent voice. He pulled out the stopwatch he always seemed to carry now. "Tosh will be gone at least thirty minutes, and Gwen and Owen are driving back from Thornhill."

Jack pretended to think about it, then leaned forward and kissed Ianto. "Congratulations on your fake alien blog. My place?"

Ianto grinned against him. "I thought you'd never ask." He shut the laptop and stood up with Jack. "I could use some new material."

"Then I shall do my best to provide some inspiration," Jack replied, and they hurried down to his bedroom. He made a note to himself to be sure to check Ianto's blog in the morning. He had some ideas of his own he wouldn't mind testing out…and sharing with the world.

Author's Note:

Originally posted on Tumblr as I hit a milestone of my own—a truly remarkable number of followers, even if half of them are spambots. I really love the Torchwood community on Tumblr—great people and a lot of fun! So I wrote a fic for the occasion and hope you enjoy it. It is meant to be fun with a gentle poke or two at myself. Thank you for reading!