Neither of us owns One Piece, we will let you decide after reading this if that is a good thing or not ;-)

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Beta read by the wonderful MasterQwertster, be sure to check out their own stories!

Inspired by Wolf Strife, and Rose7anne101's own "My Family Can Beat Up Your Family."

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Luffy's Mother is WHO!?

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Warning, contains spoilers for… pretty much every chapter associated with the canon wedding itself, and after. Do not read if you are not caught-up with the manga.

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Previously: The Battle of Marineford never happened, with it replaced by a titanic battle between Whitebeard and Kaido, which ended with the Strongest Man in the World besting the Strongest Creature in the World.

Shirahoshi went on her first independent trip into the city, (falsely) believing herself to be disguised well enough nobody recognized her.

Two years later, Zoro and the Straw Hats are leading an enraged fleet to Zou as part of their plan to find and liberate Luffy. Unfortunately for them, not only has bad weather prevented them from receiving the news that has spread across the globe regarding Luffy's heritage, when they arrive, they find ships flying Kaido's flag already there.

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Within the throne room of Fishman Island, the latest in a series of happy meetings was taking place. Truly things were turning around for their people! Of course, to stay on top of this, things were busier than ever. Especially with the date for the Reverie getting closer, and how they planned for it to be a defining moment in their history.

So yes, there were a lot of things that they needed to do to prepare. It was a bit overwhelming, as such both the Ministers and the King would meet every day for a short update. Although the Minister of the Left was unusually late for today's briefing.

"My daughter goes on an adventure every day, jamon," said King Neptune joyously. "What a happy time to live in!"

"Indeed, who would have believed a day like this would come?" said the seahorse, Minister of the Right. He was in full uniform, with a katana on his left hip, and a trishula-like trident on his right hand.

"I wish Otohime was alive to see our daughter growing up!"

"Queen Otohime would have dealt with Vander Decken IX when he first started to court the princess."

"True, jamon, she would have knocked him out and then given him a lecture until he saw the wrong of his ways."

"Hoe," the king's large pet whale shouted his name in agreement.

"The guards are still following her?"

"Of course! On every outing! The guards are coordinating with the Medaka Quintuplets, so you don't need to worry. Also, everyone in the kingdom knows what role they are to play."

The king nodded happily. His pet joined him, nodding with his whole body, his elaborate crown almost falling from his big head.

"Even though..." trailed off the Minister of the Right, his hand nervously playing with the trident.

"Jamon?"

"The princess and Quintuplets wanting to be pirates is being taken too far!" the Minister of the Right shouted, admonishing at the king. It was true that pirates had saved them, and they were thankful, but order needed to be maintained. And as king, he should at least try not to encourage it.

"What?"

"They have a flag now, and they are asking Dan about building a ship." Of course, the scandalous behaviour did not end there. After the princess returned from her first 'adventure' with a huge shell on her head —a fancy one but still a shell!— and her fins covered in paint, and even her shark pet Megalo turned orange, he and the Minister of Left had been aghast at such unbecoming behaviour in a princess; even if it was for a disguise. They had let their feelings about the issue be known to the king. So two days later, he had gifted the princess with a straw hat made specifically for her enormous size. He was glad to hear the princess' shriek of happiness, and she had not taken it off since then (good riddance to the ridiculous hat-shell). Except things had gone downhill from there. One in three people on Fishman Island had a Straw-hat on his or her head by now. Even some of the imperial guards. They were ignoring the Ministers' rebukes to maintain professionalism.

"Oh! Yes, Shirahoshi showed me yesterday. Very cute, jamon! A mermaid swimming inside of an aquamarine gem!" the king didn't seem to mind. "She was worried cause it didn't have the traditional skull and crossbones symbol! I told her not to worry, jamon! It was a magnificent flag."

"Hoe!" Hoe agreed.

The flag was a lost cause, and he can take solace that it didn't look like a pirate flag. And try to spin a story if someone from the World Government got wind of it.

"And… some fool suggested they fix Noah, and make it their flag ship. Don't worry, I stopped it," the Minister of the Right said. It was a good thing that he didn't ask for permission to handle it.

"The sea kings took the ship to the Sea forest, is it still there? Jamon."

"Yes, I have guards check regularly from afar if it moved or not."

"About—"

The Minister of the Left burst to the room, shouting "Your majesty!" Although he was short and used a wooden cane he was moving swiftly to where they stood. His light blond hair and long beard swaying as he moved.

"What is it, jamon?" the king asked, alarmed.

"Hoe?"

"A call from the Big Mom Pirates… They are asking us to send candies!" said the catfish Merman, breathing heavily.

"What? Didn't we send some a while ago?" First thing they did once the factory was fixed.

After the whole accident with the candies shipment that was eaten by Luffy, and the Straw Hat Pirates taking responsibility for it, Neptune had had a long, specially secured Den-Den conversation with his old friend Whitebeard. If it was time to change the Big Mom's flag they 'waved' now, back to the one they exhibited for more than twenty years. Even though Neptune wished for Otohime's dream to come true, and he intended to participate in the upcoming Reverie now that he had enough signatures supporting relocation, he needed to keep other options open for the sake of his people. Instead of answering, Edward had asked him if it wasn't the Straw Hat flag they wished to fly over their kingdom for protection. Neptune wasn't sure how much of the question was a joke. However, the Emperor had hinted he had something big coming up which might make it hard for him to guarantee protection. Neptune also knew the Whitebeard Pirates had still suffered heavy losses two years ago—that was how Big Mom had claimed Fishman Island in the first place. In the end, they agreed to continue displaying the Big Mom Flag for the time being, and send the candies shipment as agreed upon.

"Yes, two weeks ago. We sent 10 tons!"

"We did!"

"Apparently they're having a very important celebration, and they are requesting we send them more as soon as possible, before the end of this month," The Minister of the Left explained.

"Requesting? They request? Pah, they're acting as if their 'request' doesn't come with a death sentence if the deadline isn't met!"

"Someone is going to pick it up?" asked the king, keeping calm.

"No, they want us to send it ourselves!"

"Would we be able to make it in time?"

"I am not sure, but it isn't like we have a choice..."

"Call Jinbe and Sun Pirates. They should be able to make the trip to Big Mom's territories in time."

"Yes, good idea, your majesty! I am going to check on the factory, and bring in more help to make the production as high and fast as possible."

"I leave it in your care, jamon!"

Like he had come, the Minister of the Left departed in a hurry, murmuring under his breath about all the things he had to do.

"Y...Your majesty!"

"Jamon?"

"This is awful. The Tamate Box!" The Minister of Right shouted in panic.

"..."

A memory of the last time they spoke about the explosive box came to mind.

.

Luffy had just taken the blame for the missing candies, and directed Big Mom's anger toward him, instead of Fishman Island and its people. He also gave her the stolen treasures the king had promised them to keep if they caught the thief, as compensation for the candies.

He now just informed the crew with his exploits while they were away.

"Your majesty," the Minister of Right called for him, moving closer and speaking quietly.

"We really must tell them about the … about how the Tamate Box they sent to Big Mom will explode if it's opened."

One of the treasures that the thief stole from the heavily guarded treasure vault was the national treasure of Fishman Island. Except in the box, instead of the treasure that was stolen ten years ago, the Minister of the Right planted explosives that would explode if the box was opened by another thief.

The king nodded his understanding. We should tell them. They did so much already for Fishman Island.

"But..." he said, looking at the Straw Hat crew.

"Look at them," he indicated to his minister. His voice was full of pity.

The Minister of Right turned to look.

Chopper and Usopp were kneeling on the ground, tears falling from their eyes. Puddles of water forming underneath, and a visible shroud of despair over them.

"It's over," wailed Usopp. "One of the Four Emperors wants us dead. We're just going to die in the New World."

"Do you think Big Mom will forgive us if we give her all the treasure we find from now on?" Chopper wondered aloud without any real hope.

Neptune and his Minister shared a look, and silently agreed not to tell them.

Their thoughts aligned. I just can't bring myself to tell them… that they already sent her a bomb!

They moved closer, turning their back on the heartbreaking scene and whispered together.

"But it's been ten years since you planted those bombs. Isn't there a chance that they may have become duds in that time?" asked the king.

"That's right, your majesty, think positive!" the Minister of Right said, and added, "There is a lot of moisture in the Ryuugu Palace, after all." Filled with newfound encouragement, he was on a roll. "Besides, there is no guarantee that Big Mom will open it herself!"

"Then...Let's pray that things work out!" they both agreed, giving each other a thumb's up.

.

"I forgot about it! Jamon," shouted the king in horror.

"Me too! The shock of finding out that our saviour was related to her didn't register."

They had already had a discussion with his sons and the Ministers when the truth about Luffy's heritage was spread in the newspapers. In the end of it, they had decided to believe in Luffy's own deeds. Actions speak louder than any honey sweet promises. Luffy's action saved them, he freed their country, and he freed his daughter. His lovely daughter who was no longer locked up in her room with barely any visitors for her own safety, and could go on adventure every day and come home excitedly to share with her father, her brothers, and whoever else would listen. He even made his precious Otohime's dreams of coexistence between Humans and Fishmen seem not so far and beyond reach. The new generation of children see it as something that already exists!

But just in case, he had sent his son Fukaboshi to ask Madam Shyarly for what the future held for them and one straw hat. As usual she was very vague murmuring about a family reunion, wedding, grooms, and a huge war. According to Fukaboshi, she had gasped and smashed her crystal ball afterwards, and refused to explain. But she had assured him that Luffy would end up on top. So he wasn't worried too much. While Shyarly had her weird quirks, she wouldn't lie.

"I regret not telling them! Jamon!"

"Maybe...maybe they had already opened it and nothing happened!" the Minister of Right said. "Or maybe it was lost!"

"I sure hope so! Jamon!"

"None of the Big Mom officers mentioned anything when they came to take the candy shipment. If anything happened, they would have mentioned it." Or came to destroy us, was left unsaid.

"But, but… if the," the king couldn't continue.

They both contemplated in silence the alternatives.

"If she opened the box herself, would she take the explosion as a declaration of war from her son?" asked the Minister of Right in a voice barely above a whisper. "Even if it was a dud?"

"It will be us, not her son she would blame, jamon," the king shouted.

"What can we do? What?" The Minister of Right was hovering around in circles.

They were both frantically trying to think of something.

"Jinbe!" the Minister of Right shouted triumphantly.

"..."

"Your majesty, when we send Jinbe with candies, we will ask him to steal the box, or destroy it, or whatever necessary!"

"Good idea, jamon, yes! Jinbe is very capable, and very trustworthy."

"Yes, your majesty. I will explain the issue to him when he arrives."

"We need to do it in secret, jamon. Better to bring him here, and I will speak to him!"

"I will do as you say, your majesty!"

"For now, let's pray that they don't open the box, or if opened nothing happens."

"I will also call Jinbe and let him know we need to speak privately with him"

"Hoe!"

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With everything going on, Big Mom wasn't able to examine the treasures sent by … her beloved sweet son instead of the promised candy. Pahhh...She couldn't eat treasures.

To her delight, her little boy Amai does indeed live up to his name, as he has a sweet tooth, just as it should be with any Charlotte. Eating her 10 tons of candies, the little brat! For that, she would teach him a lesson when he arrived. How severe would depend on how contrite he was when he showed up.

Once he did, she would spring Amai's true name on him to rattle him up more and drive home it was his duty to serve his Mama. Honestly though, 'Luffy'? What had been going through that thief Dragon's mind when he came up with that!? Now she had to go through the bother as well of making sure the rest of the world knew his true name after the wedding was done.

According to what Katakuri called to report, Amai hadn't seemed surprised when he found out about her. Interesting. She would see how he would react to her in person. She had agreed to her son's suggestion to leave him with Germa 66 for now, as to not disturb their plans, and as another way to make clear her displeasure without being too overt about it. Even better, those ignorant Vinsmoke thought she would honour them with two weddings. She looked forward to their downfall almost as much as the Weddings cakes and the treasure box gifts.

If her newfound brat behaved himself, learned his place, maybe she would let him lead the vanguard of her army of cloned soldiers. Although she had to admit it might take a bit for him to learn his lessons like a good boy. And if he proved too stubborn? Well, she had lived without him for eighteen years already, so no big loss. Still, she would prefer to keep him. Hmm. Actually yes, maybe she would even give him Fishman Island if he was so popular there, as the reports she received seemed to suggest. Fishpeople going around with straw hats of all things on their heads.

Speaking of which, in the end, she still received her beloved candy in full from there. Even if it was late. She should forgive the Fishmen. But she won't. She wanted her cake and candies right on time. They had better be on time for that extra order of candies she had just ordered for the upcoming double-wedding!

She would have to call Pekoms and Tamago later to go over what happened on Fishman Island in detail, and how exactly had her dear son taken all these treasures from Neptune that he sent her as compensation for the candies.

She looked around her treasure vault, her eyes lazily examining the new jewels and the gold that was added recently. Searching.

"Here is it," she exclaimed happily. "Oh, that's the treasure box..."

Opening treasures boxes was one of the joys she marveled on, second only to eating candies.

She examined the box with a refined design and several locks on it, indicating the lengths its creator had gone to protect the contents within. Definitely masterful work.

She wondered what kind of treasure this box hid inside of it. More and more drool dripping from her mouth at the promise of what wonders it must contain.

Then the design fully registered, depicting either golden waves or clouds. Big Mom froze for a second in recognition from old records.

Yes, no mistake about it.

It was the legendary national treasure of Fishman Island! A treasure that was passed down for generations by the royal family!

Was it here by accident? Did Neptune unknowingly send it to her? Or was he afraid of her retaliation, and decided to ease her anger by giving her this gift?

It didn't matter, it was hers now.

Oh, what a treat!

"My favourite! I am so happy," she exclaimed to the treasure room. Her eyes sparkling in anticipation.

"I wonder what's in it," she wondered loudly, eyeing it from every angle.

Should she open it here and now? Why shouldn't she. It was hers. She was about to smash it open, when she paused.

No, she should wait. Such legendary treasure deserved an audience.

Emperors of the Underworld, especially Morgans — the president of the World Economy News Paper— and all her other 'allies' would be at the wedding. She would open it then with everyone present to see this majestic treasure as she became its new owner.

No one refused an invitation to Mama's party, and it was only right to bring a gift when you came to her party. And what was a better gift than a treasure box? Except maybe exotic new candy, the quantity filling half of Tato island.

-0-0-0-

"The New World is too weird," moaned Nami.

In front of them was an elephant so ridiculously massive it reached the clouds, casually walking through the ocean. Suddenly it twitched its head as if in pain, and the fog cleared for them to see a massive fleet of ships at its rear legs. Even from here they could make out the swarm of bodies nearing the top.

An army.

"Who are they, and is there any reason why I shouldn't cut them up?" Zoro calmly asked.

Too calmly.

"None whatsoever," Law answered, hefting his own blade. "That's the Jolly Roger of Kaidou the Emperor," he added. "Zou is under attack."

"Kaidou!?" gasped Nami. "What's he doing here!?"

"Did he somehow know and get ahead of us!?" wailed Usopp.

"No, this has to be some sort of coincidence," barked Law. He hoped that was the case. The alternative was problematic. It meant they had a traitor, someone feeding the enemy information.

Unbeknownst to everybody else, Momonosuke, Kine'mon's 'son' and samurai-in-training, impulsively switched to his Devil Fruit form of a dragon. With a heavy heart he knew what must be happening. The Minks . . . he thought with quiet despair.

Acting quickly, Nami used her Sorcery Clima-Tact, the newest version of her weapon which Usopp had given her on the trip here, to conjure a thick fog. Creating a Room, Law then used his Heart-Heart Fruit to teleport her across the front of the Straw Hat Grand Fleet to spread their concealment until they were safely hidden from sight. This coordination between them happened with minimal communication. Law refused to dwell upon how integrated he had become with the Straw Hat crew.

A dingy was rowed out of the fog by two nameless pirates long enough to confirm through a telescope that there was no reaction by the enemy fleet. With that news, everybody breathed a huge sigh of relief and began to plan.

Admiral Orlumbus' ship of the Yonta Maria Grand Fleet, pulled up alongside the Thousand Sunny. "From what I saw, the Jolly Roger upon the lead ship mean's it's the personal vessel of Jack!" he boomed, surprise clear upon his face.

"Jack? Who's Jack?" asked Nami.

"Kaidou's last remaining general," answered Law. "In his war against Whitebeard, King and Queen were both killed."

The Straw Hats took a moment to figure out the naming scheme, and Usopp awkwardly said, "Shouldn't Jack be called 'King' now then?"

"Force of habit by this point. He held that name and rank for over twenty years after all."

"Ah."

"So whatever's going on," Robin smoothly cut in, "this is a big deal for Kaidou if he's risking Jack like this."

"And a lucky break for us," nodded Law. "If we take down Jack, then taking down the Emperor himself will be far easier."

"That's not our main concern now, we need to get to Luffy!" barked Nami.

"And Bepo is there on Zou if we want to make that Vivre Card," Law coldy retorted, doing his best to hide his concern for his crew.

"Strange though that Kaidou would risk such a large fleet," mused Kyros, trying to keep the peace. As the former commander of his nation's military, he had a decent grasp of strategy, and knew from news reports how badly the Emperor had suffered. According to the speculation of the newspaper articles he had read, Kaidou only retained his remaining territory and title because of his personal power, with his forces much reduced. "If Big Mom or Whitebeard knew this many ships and pirates were absent from his borders, they might very well take the opportunity to attack."

"Indeed," agreed Orlumbus, who was now aboard the Sunny, along with all the other Captains of the Straw Hat Grand Fleet. With the exception of the giant Hajrudin of course, who simply would not fit aboard, but was present in the form of a Den-Den Mushi.

"Whatever is on Zou," grunted Don Sai, 13th leader of the Happo Navy, and Captain of the 3rd Fleet of the Straw Hat Grand Fleet, "he's risking a losing war with another Emperor for it. What could be so valuable?"

Despite themselves, Kin'emon and Kanjuro shared a heavy glance. If Kaidou was that weak, freeing Wano would be much easier. However the time-travelling samurai also knew that if the filthy dragon's forces were spread as thin as Law-dono implied, then it must be a significant prize they sought. Their companion Raizo, and any clues to the location of their charge Lord Oden Momonosuke, was the obvious answer. To say nothing of taking out the threat of the Minks as ancient allies to the Kozuki clan.

"Well, we already picked a fight with him by destroying that factory and bringing down Doflamingo," Cavendish idly mused, twirling a rose between his fingers. The 'Pirate Prince' and Captain of the 1st Fleet, acted as if he were enjoying himself. "Taking down these ships here and now merely saves us some time, and will make it harder for Kaidou to hunt us down while we rescue Straw Hat."

"Good time to work more on our teamwork," grinned Bartolomeo savagely, his insight at odds with his punkish and barbaric appearance.

"Alright then," Zoro's steely tone cut through any further conversation. "Anybody got a plan?"

Despite themselves, the Fleet Captains were unnerved by Zoro's single eye. His face was perfectly neutral, and his stance relaxed despite crossing his arms over his chest. But there was a shadow over his expression which made them know this was a man dangerously close to violently snapping.

And all of them vividly remembered how this underling of their beloved Grand Fleet Commander (granted he was unaware of his new status just yet, except it was hardly like he was going to complain about it, right?) had cut through a giant larger than a mountain . . . with a single move.

"Right," Orlumbus of the 7th Fleet said, coughing into his fist. "Well . . ."

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"Huh, where'd this fog come from?" griped one of the Beast Pirates. A skeleton crew of Pleasures was left to manage the ships, while the rest of crew were up on top of the ridiculously huge elephant, fighting the Minks, and looking for the samurai. This was taking far longer than expected, with the latest waves of reinforcements just reaching the top.

"Hey!"

The Beast Pirate looked up, his permanent grin becoming a little wider at the sight of somebody riding the elevators down the kilometers high elephant leg. Hah! The sap!

Reaching the bottom, the messenger said, "Jack's getting fed up. We're to bring up that little surprise of Joker's, along with all the gas suits."

"Oh? What's the surprise?"

"It's something of Caesar Clown's apparently. It—"

With a sudden, irregular splash which jostled the fleet of nearby ships, the Thousand Sunny landed on the starboard sides of Beast Pirates. With a quick spin of the wheel, Nami was already turning them to face the enemy head on.

"Room!" yelled Law even as they came about, and began to swing his sword, cutting ships in two.

"1080 Pound Cannon!" roared Zoro, the compressed air tearing entire ships to shreds.

Robin's eyes were closed and arms crossed, while the necks of Beast Pirates were snapped.

"FRANKY RADICAL BEAM!" boomed Franky, firing his laser to blow up another ship.

"Ready Usopp!?" called Nami.

"Now!" grinned Usopp. "Gao Cannon!"

With that, the primary weapon of the Thousand Sunny stuck out of the figurehead, and fired the air cannon. A third of the remaining ships were destroyed instantly, and due to the SMILE Fruits they had eaten, any survivors from the tattered ships tragically drowned without a struggle.

"Get them!" roared the survivors, racing to man the cannons.

Something caught the attention of one of the savage pirates from the corner of his eye. Turning around, while the smile remained etched across his face, the blood drained from it.

An entire line of at least fifty ships of all sizes, sailing perpendicular to the Beast Pirates so the full broadsides of their cannons aimed squarely at the unprotect and fully exposed sterns of their hapless foes.

"Hrmph," grunted Orlumbus as he put the enemy into a lethal checkmate. As it was his strategy, the honour fell to him to order, "Fire!"

It was a slaughter of fire and iron.

All told, in less than a minute, the remaining bulk of Kaidou's navy was sent to the watery depths below.

-0-0-0-

Now the Straw Hat Grand Fleet, captain of the Heart Pirates, samurai, and Dressrosa citizens had to figure out how to get up a ridiculously tall elephant. Fortunately, the Beast Pirates had already rigged up a series of crude if serviceable elevators, which made sense, since even New World veterans would be a bit tired if they had to climb all that way up by themselves. Especially since this would not be climbing a stable mountain, but the leg of a living creature who was moving as you scaled it? Yeah, much harder. Kanjuro also painted (badly) several animated animals to carry even more up, so they could all go up at the same time.

Of course, everyone was leery of having the giants take the system or animals, and risk finding out they were too heavy (including said giants), only for Hajrudin to assure them they could handle the climb without issue. Indeed, they were actually faster, even when also carrying up dozens of the stronger crewmembers.

As for the rest? The captains and true elites? Well, they had their own special ride.

Caesar had been conscripted as a hot-air balloon with his Gas-Gas Fruit powers, lifting them into the air at the fastest pace.

Initially, he had been cursing and screaming at them, going on about "How dare they consider using a genius like him in such a manner," etc., until Law cut that short by squeezing the heart of the mad scientist which was literally sitting in his palm. They needed to work out some sort of functional strategy after all, without any pesky distractions. One benefit of Straw Hat-ya's absence at least, was that they could come up with a plan, and actually follow through on it.

It took ages, but finally they were atop of Zou. There was a brief altercation with a few of the Beast Pirates by the broken gates to the main kingdom, yet the only significance there was what that told them:

1) That the Beast Pirates were truly unaware of what was coming up behind them.

2) Zou remained free, and the fight with the Beast Pirates was still ongoing.

Quickly everyone assembled into something resembling an organized army, so they would not get in each other's way.

"Remember," said Law, looking around at the assembled captains and other leading figures, "our priority is finding Bepo, so he can make us a Vivre Card to find Straw Hat. As well as continuing to weaken Kaidou's crew as much as possible. Understood, Roronoa-ya? Rononoa-ya?"

It was only then that he realized there was only a blank space where the swordsman had been.

"Oh, no, now he's lost," sighed Usopp. Again, was left unsaid. Hopefully they could find him before he missed out on the battle . . .

-0-0-0-

Endlessly laughing, the Pleasures of the Beast Pirates threw themselves once more into the fray against the Minks. Monstrous Gifters and Headliners with their artificial Devil Fruit Powers cackled alongside them. Ah, the joy of battle, and the promise of the sweet, sweet fun they would have with these pig-headed (sometimes literally) Minks once this was all over!

Suddenly over all the blood and violence, they sensed bloodlust in the air aimed at them, so overpowering that it made the Beast Pirates freeze and shiver.

The men at the rear turned around to see a single figure behind them. He did not wear their uniform, and was no Mink, and yet something was familiar about him to some of them. Slowly he placed a katana between his teeth, and hefted the ones in his hands. "Good, I'd hate to cut you down with your backs turned. It's a swordsman's greatest shame! Although in this case it'd be my shame in cutting you down from behind, since none of you truly are one."

Then he moved.

"What is that!?" gasped Wanda. As sudden agonizing screams caught her attention and her fellow Minks with sharp ears. She turned searching for the source in time to see dozens of the invading pirates in the distance being thrown into the air. Even from here she could see the arcs of blood.

Had help arrived, or yet another foe to both themselves and these first invaders?

-0-0-0-

Despite his fury and usual disregard for the odds, Jack the Drought was coming to the uncomfortable realization that he was in a tight situation now. While he had promised Kaidou that none of the uppity Flying Six were necessary for this mission (he hated how they were chomping at the bit for Kaidou to promote them to All-Stars, despite their weakness), fighting these Minks had dragged out too long. Moreover, from what he could see, his army was now being attacked from behind, which meant not only were his ships likely destroyed, but that after taking care of these newest weaklings he would have to seize their ships while taking care not to destroy them. Insufferable!

With a roar he knocked the dog king back to take note of who had shown up, when one of his men shouted in recognition, "That's Trafalgar Law! And those are the Straw Hats!"

Straw Hat and Law? Eh, more worthless members of the 'Worst Generation.' Although they had been in the papers lately about forming an alliance, and causing a mess for 'Joker.' Weird that they were now here, since he figured the feather-loving arms dealer would have handled this trash already. Was he losing his touch? Although with all the fighting, they had not received any News Coos recently.

Anyways, his biggest concern was that the poison gas weapon was likely lost, and he was now losing more men. Looks like he would have to risk going all out on this to settle it quickly. The longer they were exposed like this away from Wano, the more time that fossil Whitebeard had to find out and come after them. It had already dragged on for five whole days! Worse, another two days and it would be a full moon. Yeah, he liked a good fight (slaughter), except this was too much.

He needed to find that samurai, or ninja, or whatever now, so he could find that accursed prince. If the brat got back to Wano and the rebels there, especially with these animals at his back, then they would be in trouble. Oh, Kaido could crush any insurrection, yet if the weapons factories were wrecked, or worse Whitebeard made a move at the same time, everything could come crashing down. Not to mention the threat of the old man finding out from Oden's samurai that Kaidou's home base was on Wano, and getting all sentimental about helping out his 'brother's' people.

Jack had not lain low these last two years for it to all come apart now!

He would crush this rebellion and those upstart nuisances for good, and relish as they screamed for days on end!

-0-0-0-

Duke Inuarashi was truthfully grateful for the brief reprieve, as it allowed him to also take stock of the situation.

Hmm, these pirates are likely here more to fight Kaidou's forces. Hopefully they will be reaso—Kin'emon!? Kanjuro!? Here!? Where is Lord Momonosuke!?

This changed everything!

For the last five days they had been locked in a stalemate with these Beast Pirates, yet now was their chance!

Glancing around at those soldiers closest, Zou's Ruler of Day whispered to Giovanni whose speed was so essential now. "Go and wake up that mangy cat-gara. Tell him . . . Tell him that Kin'emon and Kanjuro are here-gara."

The zebra Mink tensed as he got the implicit message, and was off like a shot. It was risky, since the Guardians would be resting and recovering after their own twelve-hour shift of fighting. Except it was about 3pm, so hopefully they had gotten enough time . . .

-0-0-0-

Purupuru...purupuru...purupuru...purupuru...purupuru...purupuru

"Are you sure you are dailing the right number, stupid captain?" asked Sanji, he was impatiently tapping his foot. He took out a cigarette from his shirt's pocket, and lit it. At least one good thing about being stuck in one of his family's castle's, now solely Queen Reiju's, was access to all the cigarettes he wanted.

Luffy didn't answer, making a face at Sanji and clutching the Den Den Mushi's receiver in his hand. After all, while the Big Mom Pirates may still be threatening that crummy old chef's life if Sanji did not show up to the wedding, that was no reason they could not call Nami~chaaaaan and Robin~swaaaaan!

Purupuru...purupuru...purupuru

Few seconds had passed, Sanji huffed and with swift movement snatched the Den Den Mushi from Luffy's hand, and just as quickly he re-dialed the number to their ship.

"Stupid Sanji, give it back!"

Purupuru...purupuru...purupuru...purupuru...purupuru...purupuru...purupuru

"Strange, it's the right number. What could they be doing to not answer it?"

"Yaaaa, Sanji give it back. You are the one that dialed wrong."

Luffy stretched his right arm, trying to snatch the Den Den Mushi back. Sanji moved away, tossing the still ringing Den Den Mushi from one hand to the other expertly. Luffy's hand curled under Sanji's arm, stretching even more following the Den Den Mushi trajectory, encircling Sanji's shoulders and arms a few times in his quest to catch it. Sanji turned around a few times, walking on his tiptoes, holding the Den Den Mushi higher out of reach. Luffy stretched his other arm quickly, aiming at the up high Den Den Mushi. Sanji almost lost his balance, and he had to clasp his teeth for the cigarette not to fall out of his mouth.

"Stupid captain, stop—"

Unable to snatch the Den Den Mushi, Luffy used his intertwined arms around Sanji to pull him closer, only for the chef's frantic struggling to make him lose his balance and fall over, dragging the rubber man down with him. Desperate to save the precious and increasingly concerned snail, Sanji tossed it up in the air. With a precise flick of his wrist, it hit the ceiling upside down and stuck itself safely up there. Followed by a headbutt to stop him from stretching his neck to get it. Hah! See Luffy reach it now!"

"Emmm… I am interrupting?" Reiju was standing by the door, her eyes gleaming with amusement as she saw them both 'tied up' on the floor. "I didn't realize the two of you were so . . . close."

It took a moment for the implications of her insinuation to hit home, and when it did, it hurt worse than his first Bounty Poster. "We're not like that!" Sanji shrieked in absolute horror, fighting with all his might now to get loose from Luffy, only to somehow entangle himself worse. "Look at what you did, you stupid black hole!"

Reiju giggled at the results of her teasing, relishing at being able to cut loose step by step. She would never have dared say something like that even less than a day ago.

Hearing her humour made Sanji belatedly realize what she was doing, only for it to only make the whole mess worse as he and Luffy rolled across the ground. Sanji was frantically trying to weasel himself out of Luffy's hands. The Horror. Even though it was his sister, it was still a lady who caught him in such an unflattering position. How low had he sunk to be seen in such a state?

Finally registering her brother's despair, and fiance's growing irritation. "Are you alright?" she asked with a slight worry in the undertone of her voice. She was not put off by Luffy's body though, having already seen it in action a little against the Germa 66's soldiers. Also, how could she be disdainful of the one who had saved the lives and souls of herself, and her true brother?

"GAAAAAH! Sanji, quit it!" Luffy finally yelled, as his nakama's frantic movements were getting frankly uncomfortable, with him being pressed to the ground under the blonde as he tried to tear himself free. "I'm—"

Terribly startled by Luffy's sudden cries, the Den-Den Mushi, had actually let go of the ceiling, and fell smack-dab into the pirate's open mouth.

Eyes widening, Sanji managed, "NO DON—" Gulp "—ttt, swallow . . ."

"BLAAAAH!" gagged Luffy. "That was horrible!" Even as a kid he had never appreciated eating raw slugs, and those electronics for people to talk with only made the flavour somehow worse! It never occurred to him it was probably a blessing he did not consider the form of communication everyone used to be a 'delicacy,' otherwise he would eat them all up.

"Please tell me this wasn't the only Den Den Mushi in this damn ship!" Sanji looked desperately at Reiju. If not for how his arms were still stuck to his side, Sanji would be tempted to yank open Luffy's jaw and reach down his gullet to grab back the suicidal snail. Unfortunately, nobody knew better than him that whatever went into that black hole was gone for good.

Despite herself, she could not help but give a giggle anew at their antics. "I'm afraid so. Remember, the communication room was destroyed when we captured Yonji, since he was trying to call Ichiji and Niji."

"Typical Luffy," Sanji groaned in frustration, letting himself go slack, still tightly intertwined with Luffy even with all his struggles. Luffy didn't seem to be bothered by their close proximity, although with long practice he started unknotting himself. Yes, it was sad they could not call their nakama, yet what was done was done, and no point in wasting time being upset about it. Besides, he knew they would turn up sooner or later. Right now he was more concerned about getting himself free enough to move better.

"Do you need help…?" Reiju trailed off, pointing at their wrapped up state, taking pity on his futile struggles. She could see some complicated knots she figured even Luffy could use help with.

"Please," cried Sanji in despair.

-0-0-0-

Rebbeca hushed Momonosuke and strained her ears. Momonosuke was still in his dragon form, he hadn't stopped fretting around since everyone left to join the fight. She wasn't happy about being left behind on the Thousand Sunny, but she agreed to stay on the ship and guard Momonosuke. Kin'emon had bowed so deeply when he asked her to take care of his son, his head had almost touched the deck floor.

For a second, she thought she heard something like 'puru' being repeated, which was pretty strange. For some reason it sounded familiar, but she could not place it. Unfortunately, she was uncomfortably aware her childhood had been robbed of many experiences others took for granted. Such was the price of living in poverty and on the run from the government, followed by being a gladiator-slave. Except now I'm free to enjoy the world and discover new things, she reminded herself. She tried to listen again, but she could only hear the sound of waves crashing against the ship.

It was probably her imagination. The stress was getting to her. Not only because of this battle, but because of how she was worried for Luffy. Worried for the man who had saved her whole world, and given her back her father she had been made to forget. The hero who she . . . had feelings for. Although, if she could barely admit them to herself, how would she face him next time?

She smiled to calm the nervous dragon (although she would not let him snuggle into her breasts), and shook her head to indicate there was nothing to worry about. Both of them looked up at the moving elephant, and prayed.

-0-0-0-

Back on Zou, the Minks were nearly caught off-guard like rookies when the tide suddenly turned.

Suddenly the invaders were screaming and yelling from the rear as a hoard of strangers hit them from behind. Wearing colourful different outfits, they tore right into the fight without—were those giants!? What were giants doing here!?

For an instant the Musketeers not immediately clashing with the invaders hesitated. What were they doing here? Reinforcement for the enemies? New enemies? Or, dare they hope … allies?

Their questions (prayers?) were answered as what seemed like a cyclone of fury appeared out of nowhere. In a blink the illusion was gone however, and standing there alone was one man while bodies lay around him a clear circle a dozen meters wide.

As impressive as that was, the empty space meant the Minks were able to recognize him as 'Pirate Hunter' Roronoa Zoro of the Straw Hat Pirates. The very crew allied with the Heart Pirates which, led by Bepo, had been fighting alongside the currently sleeping King Nekomamushi and his Guardians! They must be friendly then!

And what friends they were! Leading the charge against the terrors of the New World were more of that strange assortment of people recognized from newspapers. The crew which had declared war upon the world itself, and done so many impossible things.

The fighting spirit they were emitting, the way they attacked so precisely and brutally, the fierce look in their eyes that raised the fur up their spines.

The way they fought, it was almost like they felt Zou was their home, and would do anything to protect it.

It put the Minks' own effort to shame.

They took pride in protecting their home, they had done it for years, and would continue to defend it with every means at their disposal.

With every ounce of strength their bodies possessed.

With every last drop of blood that pumped through their veins.

With every breath, every howl, every word.

Every thought.

Just as the Musketeers felt they had found their limit, they all heard it.

The excited calls from the Beast Pirates.

"Samurai! Those samurai are here!"

Those words stabbed deep into the minds of the Minks, for if there really were samurai with this new group . . . And they were attacking Kaidou's forces . . . And from what Raizou had told them . . .

With a snarl the Musketeers threw themselves back into the fight with an even greater fury and strength than they knew they had. They would not let their ancient comrades fight alone. Not so long as they drew breath.

Zou would be safe and free once more, and they would uphold their ancient oaths to their brothers from another nation.

~~To Be Continued…~~

Author Notes:

In our version, Shyarly destroyed her crystal ball a little later, due to how the timeline was altered by these AU events.

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Obviously Big Mom would not have called her child "Luffy," so we decided upon his birth name being Charlotte Amai. It means "sweet" in English and is used to describe food. Another meaning of 甘い(Amai) is "naive", which you can use to describe a person!

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BVC: In all honesty, a part of me wants to do a 'Real Life Meets the One Piece World' sort of fic, just so I can do a scene where a former local from the OP-verse finds out the military is at war with Zou. Cue the equally panicked and furious screaming that You. Do. Not. Mess. With. The. Minks. I love those guys, yet their conviction is straight-out terrifying.

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