Chapter 13: Memory

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My deepest thanks to all of the readers who have enjoyed this story and shared their thoughts on it with me. I am happily awaiting the new Yuri! on Ice Movie. I will see you all there! Love, Spunky

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(…eight months later…)

Yuuri woke to the warm, affectionate feeling of his husband's slender, naked body pressing up against his, and Victor's soft lips brushing gentle kisses along the side of his neck. His own lips curved into a smile, and his head turned to meet Victor for a long, open-mouthed kiss of greeting. Their hands played along the slopes and curves of each others' bodies in a wordless gesture of appreciation that ended in a longer, more passionate expression of their enduring love. Afterward, the two left their bed and bathed under the hot spray of their shower, before gently drying each other off, then dressing and leaving the bedroom to face the day.

"Yuuri, I have a few errands to run before I meet you for practice this morning," Victor said, watching as Yuuri picked up his skating pack and slipped it onto his back, "Practice the jumps for your routine with Yurio. I will be along in awhile."

He caught his breath in surprise as Yuuri gave him a skeptical look.

"Victor, you know, you don't have to make things up. I'm not stupid. I know what you're thinking right now, and where you're really planning to go," the younger man chided him, "If you don't want me to come along, it's fine, but you shouldn't feel like you have to lie to me."

Victor felt heat on his face, and he sighed and looked down at the floor for a moment.

"I'm sorry. You're right," he said quietly, "Let's start this over again. Yuuri, I am going to pay my respects to Anton and Pasha. Will you…please come with me?"

Yuuri's eyes widened.

"I didn't mean that you had to ask me to go!" he exclaimed, "I just didn't want you to lie to me. We're married. You should be able to tell me if you want to do something. I may or may not agree with you, but if it's what you really want, I'm not going to get mad at you, Victor."

Victor studied him silently for a moment.

"Do you think I shouldn't go?" he asked uncertainly, "Or that I should visit only Anton?"

Yuuri frowned as he thought for several moments before answering.

"W-well, both of them were your friends," he said finally, "What Pasha did was horrible, but I was paying attention to what your counselor told us. I understand that his mental illness was what caused him to kill Anton, then to try to kill you. I know he wasn't in control of himself. I also understand that he is dead and he can't hurt you…well, not directly."

Victor thought quietly, then nodded.

"Doctor Ivkin warned me that the answers are not really simple when it comes to that," he explained, "I don't always know if what I'm feeling is the right thing or if it's not. I just feel like I need to go and speak to them before we leave Russia to go to the Grand Prix Finals."

"Then, you should go," Yuuri advised him, "I will go along, if you want. I don't have to listen, if you'd rather I didn't."

Victor's eyes softened and he gave his husband a look of gratitude.

"Thank you, Yuuri. I think I do want you to come along. I just might want a moment alone with them, if that's all right."

"It's fine," Yuuri assured him.

"Okay," Victor sighed, gathering himself, "we should go then."

The two headed for the front door and opened it just as a deliveryman walked up to the porch, carrying a small package.

"Hi Victor," the man greeted them cheerfully, "Hello Yuuri."

"Hi Micha," Victor answered.

"Good morning," Yuuri added.

"Package for you," Micha said, handing the parcel to Victor, then waiting as the silver-haired man signed for it.

"Thanks," Victor said, nodding.

"No problem," Micha chuckled, "Give'em hell at the GP Finals, okay?"

"Will do."

Victor looked down at the return address on the package, and he stiffened.

"What is it?" Yuuri asked worriedly, "Victor, are you okay?"

"It's from Anton's mother," Victor said uneasily.

The two men turned back into the house and Victor carried the package into kitchen, where they sat down at the table to open it. Yuuri handed his unsettled partner a letter opener and watched as Victor opened the package and lifted a sheet of white paper out of the box.

Dear Victor,

When the police scoured the remains of the old ice rink, they found a sealed safety box near my son's body. It was shielded enough from the fire that the contents survived. These are copies of some pictures that Anton probably would have wanted you to have, as well as a letter that I think you should read. I hope that it brings you some peace. It will not bring Anton back, but maybe it can help both of us to move on. I know that Pasha was cruel to you, but you must know that the Pasha who did this is not the gentle boy that we all knew. I can't pretend to understand what happened that made him take my boy's life and threaten yours, but maybe you can make some sense of this. Please take care of yourself and know that I am very grateful for all you've done to help me through all of this. Your kind words, your help with the costs for the return and burial of Anton's remains, and your presence at his memorial have given me great comfort.

God bless you,

Anna Akimova

Victor's slender hands shook very slightly as he picked up the stack of photographs and slowly moved from one to the next, studying his, Anton's and Pasha's smiling faces and candid shots of each of them skating. Underneath the pictures, he found a folded piece of paper with writing he recognized as Anton's.

"It looks like it's a letter that Anton was in the middle of writing," Victor explained, lifting the letter and tilting it so Yuuri could see.

Dear Victor,

I know you're really busy, but I have the best news! Some of my mom's work friends did a collection, and we've gathered enough so that I can afford to go to nationals this year! Pasha was so excited when he heard. He made me a beautiful costume to wear when I perform. I really can't wait until it all begins! I will finally get to skate the program that you and I made together. I'm sure I will see you at nationals, so I will say hello then. And, I am trying to work things out so that Pasha can come too. I haven't told him yet, because I don't know if I'll be able to come up with the money, but Mom said that she'll ask my grandpa if he'll help out. I'm sure he will. Then, you and Pasha and I can all celebrate together.

"The letter ends there," Victor said, looking up at his husband.

He noticed a mark on the paper that had bled through where something was written on the back.

"What is that?" asked Yuuri.

Victor turned the paper over and studied it carefully.

"It is a plan for a performance for two skaters," he explained, "It says it was to be set to a song called, Always with You."

Yuuri moved closer, his fingers tracing two letters set side-by-side at the center of a drawn rectangle.

"V and A," he read, "Victor and Anton? He wanted to skate this with you?"

"He must have created it himself, after I went back to my home rink," Victor said quietly, "Anton was driven to succeed. While I was there, he asked me to teach him how to do what I did…to create a story he wanted to tell, to set it to music and to build a program around it. It seems this was what Anton wanted to create. He made his first creation a way to say what our friendship meant to him."

Victor's eyes closed and a look of anguish grew on his face.

"Pasha was right that I was a horrible friend," he said bitterly, "I should have…"

"Victor," Yuuri said softly, touching his husband's arm, "You weren't even an adult yet. You were a kid who was training for major competitions. I know how that is, because I've been there too. While I was training for the Grand Prix Series, I barely talked to my family for five years! Look at the words Anton wrote to you. Look at the beautiful program he made to show you how much your time together meant to him. And he was right to be grateful. You gave him a wonderful gift. You taught him how to make his own programs, just like you do. What you gave him allowed him to qualify for nationals. If Pasha hadn't killed him, you would have seen each other again, and maybe…you would have skated this with your friend."

Yuuri paused, looking down at the program Anton had created.

"Victor," he said, rubbing his chin, "there's something we need to do."

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(…two weeks later at the exhibition following the Grand Prix Finals…)

"Ladies and gentlemen," the announcer's voice said, "our first exhibition skate tonight will be a program designed and choreographed by the late Anton Akimov, and will be performed by gold medalist, Victor Nikiforov and silver medalist, Yuuri Katsuki. They will be performing to Always with You, a song also composed by Anton Akimov."

The ice rink remained darkened as a video screen over it displayed an image of Victor, sitting with the newscaster Mooroka.

"Anton was a talented skater, who I met when my home rink caught fire, and we were forced to relocate to a rink in South Central Saint Petersburg for six months. While I was there, Anton and I became friends. He was so enthusiastic about skating. He peppered me with questions about how I put together programs and choreographed, everything to do with performance. He learned quickly, and a short time after I left, he qualified to compete at the Russian nationals. He would have been brilliant. He was a real talent."

"But," Mooroka said solemnly, "he did struggle."

"Yes," Victor agreed, "Although Anton was a promising talent, he lived in a poor area and came from a family that hadn't the means to support his skating career. There are many, many strong skaters like Anton, who struggle with the same things."

"Aren't there government programs designed to help?" Mooroka asked.

"There are," Victor agreed, "but there are not nearly enough to accommodate the number of skaters all vying for the same few spots. And sometimes, even the help that is given to them is not enough to help the afford the enormous costs associated with the sport."

Morooka gave Victor an encouraging smile.

"But, you have something you want to do to help?" he asked.

"Yes," Victor said, looking directly into the camera, "I have purchased the land that the rink was on, and I have made plans to rebuild the rink that used to be there. It will be named after Anton, and it will be a place where skaters who cannot afford formal training can go to meet with volunteer coaches who will work with them and prepare them for competition. The program will be demanding, but it will ensure that talented skaters with little means to support their skating will have a chance to prove themselves, and to work their way into qualification for nationals and the Grand Prix Series. For those skaters who qualify, the rink will sponsor them and provide for their costs while they compete."

"That sounds like an ambitious plan," Mooroka said, sounding impressed, "and I've heard that your announcement has had quite an effect on that area."

"It has," Victor said, smiling warmly, "As soon as the announcement was made, bids came in for the other unused properties around the one I've purchased. Shops will be opening around to serve the neighborhood as skaters come in to use the rink."

"The area has been revitalized."

"Yes," Victor said proudly, "and I am grateful to Anton for being the one who inspired all of this. Anton was a rising star, and he was a good friend. It is to Anton that Yuuri and I dedicate our performance."

The image on the video screen shifted to show a photograph of a much younger, long-haired Victor, standing back-to-back with his smiling friend, Anton, in the middle of an ice rink. A spotlight flashed downward and illuminated Victor and Yuuri, where the two stood in the same pose as the two boys in the photograph.

The song began, and the two skaters first pushed off and skated in opposite directions, then turned back and jumped into eye catching side-by-side spins, they turned into each others' arms and danced a few steps, then spun out into a stunning step sequence they performed, still in side-by-side fashion. Another short joining led into a side-by-side jumps and another bout of dizzying spins and lovely turns. They recaptured each others' hands, then as the lyrics shifted to images of a separation, the two skaters moved farther apart, Victor moving into sharper and faster jumps and spins, while the light around Yuuri began to fade, and he spun slowly to a stop as darkness closed in.

Victor turned and looked around, then spotting Yuuri in the fading light, he skated towards him, bringing with him the blazing light that surrounded him. The light spread, capturing Yuuri's body again as Victor extended a hand and pulled him in close. They skated a slower dance, turning and spinning together as the lyrics told the story of a friendship renewed.

Just always remember

Wherever you go

I am always with you

The music faded, leaving Victor and Yuuri, facing each other and holding hands, with their heads tilted forward and their foreheads touching.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Victor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki!" the announcer called out, eliciting a burst of applause from the excited crowd.