I had half a mind to skip school the next day. Fake sick until mom left for work and then drown myself in whatever ice cream we had in the freezer. Instead I opted for showing up late, ducking around anyone who tried to get my attention, and heading for the parking lot immediately after the final bell rang. The successful avoidance of my friends continued for a few days. Toni wasn't hard to avoid; she was preoccupied with Jughead. Fangs and Sweet Pea were practically joined at the hip, and Sweet Pea was easy to pick out in a crowd due to his height, so it was pretty easy to avoid them too. Not that Sweet Pea was really trying to talk to me at all. I'd run into him in the vacant hallways once in the early stages of my avoidance. He'd acted like I wasn't even there. It stung a little, but at the same time, I hadn't expected him to react any differently. In his mind, I'd reverted back into that Northsider I was when I'd first moved in with mom and Doc. Any and all progress we'd made had completely disappeared.

Unfortunately, I'd also started reverting back to my old eating habits. Skipping sitting at the lunch table with the Serpents meant it was really easy to lie about having not eaten anything for lunch. And with mom pulling even more hours than she had been before, she wasn't ever awake when I was leaving for school. So, it was easy to lie about eating breakfast too. I hadn't even realized I was doing it until I'd been going out the side door at school and my vision started swimming. I stopped dead in my tracks and sat down in the nearest available seat. Which happened to be the usual picnic table for the Serpents after school. After the last bell rang, I'd made a beeline for the doors, so no one else was out here yet. But they were going to show up soon. That thought alone had me trying to make a run for it. My head spun just trying to get up. The doors slammed open behind me, followed by a loud familiar laugh.

"Pony!" Fangs called loudly, dropping into the seat beside me. "Where have you been? It's like you disappeared." The cheerful smile on his face dropped when he actually looked at me. "You okay?"

"No." I croaked out. My fingers gripped tightly to the edge of the picnic table. The stable surface hopefully was going to quell the rising panic in me.

"What's going on?"

"Just a panic attack." I lied, swallowing down the rising bile in my throat.

"What can I do?" My heart panged at the concern in his voice. I'd been avoiding him because I was afraid of what he and the others would say about what had happened in the spring. I hadn't even considered the fact that maybe it wouldn't change anything. "What do you need?"

"Can you drive me home? I can't right now." I felt pathetic for asking, but I couldn't drive like this. And I couldn't sit here any longer. He nodded, standing up.

"Absolutely, c'mon." We slowly made our way to the end of the lot where Doc's truck was parked. His arm was wrapped around my shoulders, keeping me steady the whole way there. Fangs stayed quiet the entire drive and while he made sure I got into the house.

"Thank you."

"No problem. You good now? Do you need anything else?" I bit back the terror that tried to take over at my next thought, opening my mouth and saying it anyway.

"It wasn't a panic attack." He waited for me to continue my confession. "I've barely eaten anything in almost three days. I was sitting at the picnic table because I thought I was going to pass out." He disappeared into the kitchen without a word. If I wasn't so scared of passing out on the way there, I would've followed him. A few minutes later, Fangs emerged with two sandwiches, a bag of chips, and two cans of Doc's favorite orange soda in his arms.

"Here." He dropped heavily onto the couch beside me, offering up one of the sandwiches on the plate. "I'm not leaving until you eat that entire sandwich."

"What's on it?" I picked it up gingerly, afraid of what he'd decided was sandwich worthy in our fridge. We hadn't gone grocery shopping in a while.

"Lettuce, cheese, mayo, and something I'm pretty sure is turkey." He pointedly stared at me until I raised the sandwich to my mouth and took a bite. It was actually pretty good. But that might've just been my deprived taste buds being grateful I was actually eating food.

"When did that happen?" My steps faltered as I spotted Jughead waltzing down the hallway of Southside High proudly wearing a Southside Serpent jacket. I hadn't been aware that he was even considering joining the Serpents. Last time we'd spoken about it, he still spat the name like simply speaking it would get him locked up.

"Last night." Fangs answered me, handing me something wrapped in tin foil.

"What's this?" My eyes lingered on his bruised knuckles as I took hold of whatever he was offering me.

"Breakfast burrito. Eggs, salsa, bacon, cheese, all wrapped in a nice, warm tortilla."

"And how do you know I haven't already eaten breakfast?" I shot at him automatically.

"Have you?" He shot back, waiting for the answer he already knew.

"No." I admitted, peeling the tin foil away from the still hot burrito. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, onto the important things, when is that gonna be you?" He jerked his chin in the direction of where Jughead and Toni were talking.

"Who says I'm gonna join?"

"I saw the look on your face, Pony. You wanna be a Serpent." He sing-songed his last statement at me, throwing his arm over my shoulder with a grin. I rolled my eyes, a matching grin of my own spreading across my face. "Seriously, have you asked Toni about it at all?"

"Why do I have to ask Toni about it?"

"Because there's this thing that you'll have to do. The-" He was cut off by Toni calling my name.

"Pony! I feel like I haven't seen you in days!" She pulled me away from Fangs, wrapping me in a quick hug. "Where have you been?"

"Around." I wanted to say I'd been here, while she was galivanting around with her new best friend Jughead. But I really didn't feel like getting into a fight with Toni. Right now, I just wanted to eat this burrito and make my way to class. I needed to get back into a routine, to keep myself on track. It scared me how easily I'd just slipped right back into not eating.

"So, we were thinking quarries tonight?" She gave me a hopeful look. I wasn't so sure that my anxiety would be able to handle that. As I tried to come up with a good excuse, Jughead stopped at Toni's side.

"Hey, Ar- Pony." I gave him a nod, opting to take a bite of my breakfast instead of speaking. At least he was making an effort to not call me Aria anymore. The final member of our circle was about to approach, but I really wasn't ready to face that rejection again. So I mumbled something about getting to class. Then took off down the hallway. It wasn't a surprise that there was no one else in the classroom. I spent the fifteen minutes before the bell rang taking steadying breaths and attempting to finish the burrito Fangs brought me.

I skipped out on going to the quarries that night. Fangs seemed worried, but I didn't listen to any of their arguments. I was tired. And I had to prepare for going to my dad's tomorrow for dinner. That took any and all forms of mental preparation I could handle. In fact, I found myself sitting on our living room floor on Saturday morning following along with a beginner yoga video. I felt like an absolute moron but did what the woman on the video told me. I felt better afterwards. Calm and loose and able to handle anything they were going to throw at me tonight. No doubt Doc would be a topic of discussion. And probably the whole Dilton Doiley thing. Maybe even my being hauled in by the police, if they knew about it. I didn't doubt they did.

"Hey, are you gonna be good here for a couple days by yourself? Grandma called and needs some help around the house. I figured I'd head out there after work tonight, be back maybe Tuesday or Wednesday." I looked up from where I was running mascara through my lashes. Mom was leaning against the door jamb. She looked absolutely exhausted. While I didn't actually feel okay about being here alone, I didn't want to add to the list of things she needed to worry about. So, I shot her a smile and nodded.

"Yeah, is it okay if I ask Toni to stay while you're gone?"

"Sure." She gave me a smile in return and went back into the kitchen. I took a few deep breaths, and then finished getting ready for dinner. These five words running through my head the entire time it took me to finish my makeup and drive to the house: You're fine. It's just dinner. When I pulled up to the house, the house was completely dark. Not a single light in the house was on. All the curtains were drawn. Not even the front light was on; which was really weird considering I couldn't recall it ever being off the entire time I'd lived there. I walked up the sidewalk slowly, a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knocked loudly on the door, ringing the doorbell a second later. Nothing. I waited a few long seconds before knocking again, louder this time. Still nothing. So, I pulled out my phone and sent a text to my mom.

To Momma: It's a dinner weekend, right? I didn't mess them up?

From Momma: Yes it's a dinner weekend. Why?

To Momma: There's no one here. Like no one.

From Momma: What? Are you sure?

To Momma: I knocked. And there are NO lights on. Anywhere.

From Momma: Did they go on vacation or something? And not tell you?

To Momma: I don't think so. Do I just leave or what?

From Momma: You're sure no one's there?

To Momma: I knocked. I rang the bell.

From Momma: And nothing? Not even at the church?

To Momma: Positive.

From Momma: Sure, go home.

Something felt off. Absolutely no one being home was a real feat in that house. Just with so many people living there. But I wasn't going to sit on the front porch all night, so I got back in the truck and headed home. It took me a whole five minutes to take off my makeup and pull on leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. Then I settled onto the couch. Afterall, I was going to be home alone for who knew how long. I made it through two episodes of Game of Thrones when the thought of being alone really started eating at me. That had me unlocking my phone and typing a text to Toni.

To Toni: Are you busy right now?

From Toni: Not really. Why?

To Toni: My mom's going to my grandma's for a few days. Wanna stay with me?

From Toni: We're on our way.

I didn't ask who the 'we' was. I figured it was the usual trio, plus maybe Jughead. And while I still hadn't spoken to Sweet Pea since our argument outside the sheriff station, I didn't mind if he ended up coming with. Typically, being home alone didn't bother me. I could watch or listen to whatever I wanted to however loud I wanted to. The knowledge that my mom wasn't going to be coming home until Wednesday had me uneasy. Anything could happen to me and no one would know for days. At this point, the more the merrier. Ten minutes after the last text from Toni, the living room occupants had tripled. I'd moved to one of the armchairs. Fangs sat in the other while Toni stretched across the couch. Sweet Pea was apparently still doing everything he could to keep the distance between us. He stayed back at the Wyrm. I didn't know where Jughead was. If it were two days ago, I would've assumed with Betty Cooper. But I'd heard all about how she'd sent Archie Andrews to break up with Jughead for her. Which, honestly, I thought was super messed up.

"So, you thought about it more?" I looked up from the toenail I was painting. Fangs was staring at me from his seat across the coffee table.

"Thought about what?"

"Joining the Serpents." I shrugged, not giving him a definitive answer. "C'mon, Pony, I saw your face when you saw Jughead in his jacket. You want it."

"Wait, really? You wanna join?" Toni sat up fully, setting her phone down.

"I've thought about it." This time I answered them honestly. "I talked to Doc about it a little. He doesn't have a problem with it."

"He'd probably rather you do it while he's still inside. So he doesn't have to see your initiation." The way Fangs said it made me knit my eyebrows together in confusion.

"Why wouldn't he want to see my initiation?" Sure, I'd seen the aftermath of Jughead's initiation. But had it really been that bad for him? Why would that be hard for Doc if everyone else had to go through it?

"Initiation for us is different." Toni answered for him. "You'd have to do this stupid tradition called the Serpent Dance. It's fully antiquated and sexist, and I will get rid of it eventually. But it's still a thing. So, if you wanna join, you have to do it."

"What is it?" The question was out of my mouth before I could stop it. I had been wondering what the process was. The sight of Jughead's face didn't instill a lot of confidence in me in terms of my completing the initiation. But if there was another option, I was hopeful that I'd be able to do it.

"Basically, you have to get up on the stage at the Wyrm and dance around in your underwear."

"I'm sorry, what?" I choked out. I wasn't sure I'd heard her right.

"You heard me." The look she shot me told me she wasn't kidding. That dropped a ball of lead in my stomach. There was no way I would be able to do that. Which meant I would never be a Southside Serpent.

A/N: Hey, it's me. The author who's had this written for months but has been too busy with school and work to remember that it's been written and ready to post so it's just been sitting in a folder on my desktop. I graduated (woo!), so I have a lot more time on my hands now. Hopefully that means I'll learn how to update regularly.