This is a bunch of stories that will be posted in whatever order I feel like.
Almost all ships that aren't canon will be played jokes, so please don't go to the review section and smash your face on the keyboard and type "OH MY FUCKING GOD BORUTO AND HANABI TRULY LOVE EACH OTHER ROMANTICALLY AND SARADA AND SUMIRE ARE JUST USELESS FUCKING BITCHES WHO DESERVE TO BE TORTURED BY TSUKUYOMI FOR 100 BILLION BILLION BILLION YEARS SO THOSE TWO AND BORUTO SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE TOGETHER!1111ONE111" because I don't intend on anyone getting together. Considering people got tried to get Naruto banned when Naruto and Hinata had unprotected sex twice and popped out Boruto and Himawari in addition to getting together, I feel like this is a fair disclaimer.
Also the fourth wall may or may not exist depending on the substory
Substory One: Crunchyrolls are usually Burnt
Boruto Uzumaki, 13 years old, is a Konohagakure Genin. He likes video games and his mother's home-made food. He also likes his mentor's daughter, Sarada Uchi-
"No way! She's annoying!"
He likes the former class representative, Sumire Ka-
"Can you not?!"
He has an Imouto complex-
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUP UT SHUT UP-"
"Boruto, who are you talking to?" asked his bewildered lover, Sarada.
"EXCUSE ME?! LOVER?"
"Just get a room together," snarked the creepy snake boy, who was utterly and unequivocally correct in his remark.
"Thanks, but I'd prefer if you didn't call me that."
"Who are you?!" asked Boruto.
Boruto and his teammates suddenly forgot about this encou-
"ANSWER ME!"
All of a sudden Boruto decided to passionately kiss Sa-
"SCREW YOU!"
And the two lovers assaulted the perfectly innocent-
"STOP TELLING LIES!"
And then the narrator heard the sound of several of their bones crunching.
"And they decided to stop telling lies and get on with the story," said Mitsuki.
One day, on a laptop he borrowed from his friend Denki, Boruto was trying to mastur-
"YOU'D BETTER KNOCK IT OFF!"
-master his father's Jutsu, the Rasenshuriken, by watching documentaries on Chakra control and elemental chakra.
But then he stumbled across a peculiar website.
"What kind of name is Crunchyroll?!"
And he saw several series of animated television shows. Being the curious person he is, he decided to click on one.
"My name is Ichigo Kurosaki. I'm 15 years old, so I'm a high school student…"
"High School?" thought Boruto. "The hell is that?"
"My family runs a medical clinic here in town. Maybe because we're entrusted with the lives of the living, I'm not sure; but for as long as I can remember, I've been able to see the souls of the dearly departed."
"Interesting…" remarked Boruto.
That day, he binged the first two seasons of the series. He found it enticing. Maybe it was because of the unique setting or the plot, or the fact that Rangiku's chest area was so-
"DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU AGAIN?!"
"IT'S 3 AM, GO TO BED!" exclaimed the rest of his household.
And so he slept, paying no heed to the absolutely irresistible-
"YOU GO TO BED TOO!"
Zzzzz…..
The next day, Boruto talked to his friends about what he had watched.
"And then he swung his sword and shouted 'Getsuga Tenshou!' and out came a huge-ass slash of energy!"
"That sounds like something we could do with chakra blades," replied Shikadai. "But it would be so troublesome to get them."
"And wouldn't it require years of training to master?" asked Inojin.
"You're right," noted Boruto. "But we can try, right?"
"No harm in trying," replied Inojin.
And so the trio tried, and were promptly kicked out. Apparently "I'm the Hokage's son" didn't work in some situations.
"So what else does this website have?" asked Inojin.
"I actually haven't checked it out that much," replied Boruto. "But I feel like there's more cool stuff to check out."
"Might as well, if it isn't too troublesome," said the machine that says "troublesome".
"I'm not even gonna justify that with a response," responded the machine that says "troublesome".
"But you just responded," replied Inojin.
"I don't even care," said the machine that says "troublesome". "Maybe if I accept it this will stop."
"Whatever," said Naruto's son. "I'm gonna see if this series called 'Death Note' is any interesting."
"I guess I'll watch with you," replied Shikadai.
"Same here," said Inojin.
So then, over the course of 2 weeks, they watched Death Note, and although they were creeped out by its aesthetic, the trio still enjoyed it.
"Dude, I still can't believe what happened at the end with Ryuk and Light," said Boruto.
"I'm still surprised that Light managed to kill L," replied Inojin.
"Oh please," snarked Shikadai. "If you think about it logically-"
Shikadai decided to shut-
"I was trying to-"
"Wait, what the hell? What's with this art?" asked Inojin, who was watching some bizarre series about a British family. "I love the style, it's so clean and-"
Inojin decided to try and draw Jotaro and-
"Clean and-"
"What are you guys doing with the Laptop?" asked Boruto's girlfriend.
"CAN YOU STOP?!" exclaimed the love-
"CHANNAROOOOO!" exclaimed the currently pregnant Sarada as she lunged at-
"WAIT, YOU'RE PREGNANT?!" exclaimed Chocho.
Sarada was in fact pregnant with Boruto's child-
BOOM!
And the narrator decided to shut up since they knew that their health insurance wouldn't cover a third surgery and blood transfusion.
"But for real, are you pregnant?"
"No," replied Sarada. "I don't even like Boruto like that."
"BULLSHIT!" cried half of the fanbase.
"BORUTO BELONGS WITH SUMIRE!" cried the other half.
"NO, HE BELONGS WITH HIMAWARI!" screamed one morbidly obese man with a fedora.
"OREIMO WAS SHIT!" exclaimed most of the fanbase.
Then one particularly insane man spoke up.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD BORUTO AND HANABI TRULY LOVE EACH OTHER ROMANTICALLY AND SARADA AND SUMIRE ARE JUST USELESS FUCKING BITCHES WHO DESERVE TO BE TORTURED BY TSUKUYOMI FOR 100 BILLION BILLION BILLION YEARS SO THOSE TWO AND BORUTO SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE TOGETHER!1111ONE111"
People just stared at the man in awe.
Then someone else screamed "NARUTO AND SAKURA SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN TOGETHER!"
This sparked a huge brawl at the first American Naruto Fan Celebration in Los Angeles, California.
Meanwhile, Masashi Kishimoto just sighed.
"I wish I wrote a masterpiece like that Gorilla did."
"Who the hell are those people?" asked Boruto.
"Beats me," replied Sarada. "But what are you guys doing on that computer?"
"We found this site called Crunchyroll," replied Boruto.
"Crunchyroll?" asked Chocho. "I think you'd only get a Crunchy Roll if you burn it."
"WHO ELSE BUT CHOCHO?" exclaimed Boruto.
Everyone began to laugh out loud. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"
"Can you stop?" asked Sarada.
"That joke wasn't even that funny," said Chocho.
"Crunchyroll has these shows about different stuff," said Inojin. "We just watched one where this guy could write people's names on a notebook and they'd die."
"Hmm, anything else," asked Chocho. "That sounds kind of creepy…"
Boruto browsed for a few seconds, then he click on something excitedly.
"MY GOD THEY LOOK SO DELICIOUS!" he exclaimed.
This caught the attention of the other four people around Boruto.
At that moment, they saw a woman eating a delicious meal of some sort, and then watched in horror as her clothes exploded, revealing a fanservicey figure.
"What were you referring to?" deadpanned Sarada.
"Yes," replied Boruto.
"I mean, it does look delicious," said Chocho. "Might as well watch it."
And so they watched it, and stopped after a few episodes because they were literally watching food porn.
For the next few days, they'd try to watch a series and would get bored of it. They went through a series about pirates (too slow), a series about basketball (what even is basketball?), a whole bunch of series about pretty boys piloting giant robots (too generic and cliche), and even a series about a Samurai with a perm (that one was actually pretty funny, but far too long), before finally stumbling upon something relatable.
"That village looks like Konoha," said Boruto. "And it looks like it's being destroyed by 6 orange haired men."
"And they all have red clouds on their cloaks," continued Sarada. "Maybe they're a criminal syndicate."
"Wait, is that the Hokage Monument?!" exclaimed Chocho. "And there's Inojin's dad!"
"That's Lord Sixth," said Shikadai. "And he has a Sharingan for some reason."
"Artistic liberty, perhaps?" inquired Inojin.
"Oh my god, the orange haired dude just ripped out Aunty Shizune's soul!" exclaimed Sarada.
"Wait, is that mom?" asked Inojin.
"And my mom as well," said Boruto.
"And that's my mom," replied Sarada. "But I think she'd remember fighting some sort of Origami person."
"Did that dude just take out four ninja with one jutsu?!" exclaimed Boruto. "Dude, I wanna learn that!"
And then they realized something.
"Holy shit…" said the children/teens/tweens/little bastards.
"WE RESENT THAT!" exclaimed the group of deadly ninja who could break the narrator's bones in 4 seconds flat.
"Is that really him?" asked Sarada, in awe.
"I can't believe it," said Boruto. "It's-"
"Boruto's Dad."
オマケ
"Guys, I actually got a giant sword from that weapons lady!" shouted Boruto, excitedly.
"Time to see if you can actually do that thing you were talking about," replied Shikadai.
"How are you lifting that thing?!" exclaimed Inojin, in disbelief.
"Dunno, but here goes," said Boruto, who lifted monstrously huge sword.
"Getsuga..."
He channeled a fair amount of Chakra into the blade, and the wind around him began to swirl violently.
"TENSHO!"
He slashed downward, and a huge wave of energy shaped like his slash was expelled from the sword, bifurcating all of what was in its path.
Including his neighbor's house, and the house after his neighbor's house.
And the house after that one.
And the house after that one.
And the house after that one.
"At least I'll die knowing I created a cool jutsu," sighed Boruto.
"Remind me where you got that all that chakra again?" asked Shikadai.
"Dunno," replied Boruto.