The Monsters' Club

Full Summary: Xipe Totec, also known as Pinhead, is seemingly charged in 'babysitting' many slashers, including Freddy, Chucky, Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees among many more at this low class club - seeing as though they're alive and living in the human realm - and not allowed to kill. He must keep them on the straight and narrow whilst carrying out his Cenobitic duties, but, it's not that quite straight forward, as Pinhead knows very well. Not only must he deal with the likes of immature arguments and fights from Freddy and Chucky, but he also must deal with his long buried feelings for Kirsty Cotton and newfound romance with her, and such bizarre goings on too. Can the Cenobite keep his sanity? Where will his romance with long time 'nemesis' lead him? How many more delinquent supernatural slashers and killers will turn up? And what is the true reason of the very club they all reside?

Original Author Introduction: Now this was a little experiment I was hoping would go far. And so far it has. I wasn't at all sure where I was going with this story at first, only that five well know horror icons were involved and placed in this earth-bound club. Now I know where I'm going and how it'll progress, and how it'll end. ;) Read on and see. It may surprise you. I also wanted to put in right here and now that Pinhead is the main guy of this story; the hero/protagonist, if you will. He doesn't seem to dominate the story due to favouritism. It's a conscious plan of the story. The others will serve as supporting characters, but don't worry, each will have something to do. Will there be love interests for each guy? Well, that'd be telling. Read on and see for yourself. ;) Enjoy. And please review!

New Author Note: This is not a new story, and it's a re-post of a fic I wrote solely through my primary FF account LJ1983 since 2010. Seeing as I knew the story itself was turning eight years old this month, I took the original fanfic down some time ago, and ultimately decided that I should re-post here through the account I share with my boyfriend Rurrlock-God of Power, who's my writing partner on this particular story. I really felt it needed to be refreshed after trying to do a lot of rewrites with it. Why not start again? So today marks the eighth anniversary that I originally posted TMC, but of course the story was being written a year prior to that so it's actually nine years old. :D So, please enjoy, and don't forget to send some feedback. You can find the Holiday specials through LJ1983, but be prepared for spoilers if you read them first. ;) Thanks for reading. - Laura & Thomas

Chapter One

Boys will be Boys

February 2015, Earth - Some run down club...

Our story starts on an ordinary cold winter day. In an ordinary Country, in an ordinary town, there lies a...not so ordinary club.

What's so out of the ordinary about this particular club? It mostly had to do with its very exclusive members. Some undead, some living toys, some supernatural. All have one thing in common though...their need to kill! Yet in this club, they were united, not to maim or slash, but to curb their homicidal tendencies, under the watchful and rather beady eye of a certain Cenobite.

And what do they do for time whilst they're forbidden to hack away at sexed up, obnoxious teens?

Well...

"SNAP!"

"DAMMIT! How the hell did you beat me again?" Freddy Krueger growled, pounding his fist on the table and sending his alcoholic beverage crashing to the floor.

Chucky leapt onto the table and triumphantly declared, "You don't fuck with the Chuck!" The former killer doll's plastic lips curled upwards to smile a devious smile as he celebrated his victory against the once Elm Street killer.

Freddy and Chucky had played the card game 'Snap' four times now, and the killer doll keep on winning...much to Freddy's annoyance. There were a lot of things that got on the nerves of the burnt dream demon and losing to buddy/rival, Charles 'Chucky' Lee Ray, was one of them, despite the two having this seemingly immature friendship and understanding together. They were the same...yet weren't. Confusingly enough.

"How 'bout another round, Freddy? Chucky feels lucky!" the doll smirked, looking smugger by the second.

Freddy shook his head and leaned in closer to him, pushing his burnt face into Chucky's stitched up plastic face, making him jump back and turn his face away - wafting his hand back and forth. "Man, you need a tic-tac or somethin'! Your breath smells like you ate burnt-shit!" Chucky choked. "Then again, with that face of yours-"

Before the doll cound finish his taunt, Freddy grabbed the edge of the table and nudged it very slightly, and this was enough to send the doll toppling off the edge and landing with a thud back on his chair.

As Freddy snickered, Chucky jumped back up on the table so he could face Freddy without getting a crick in the neck. "Don't like to be beat, do ya Fred? You're such a bad loser, man!"

Freddy folded his arms and sneered. "No, Chucky. More like YOU'RE a bad cheater!"

"It's snap! You can't fucking cheat at snap!" Instantly, Chucky's grin melted away. His face turned to a scowl and his plastic blood shot eyes flashed with anger before taking a huge knife from out of his pocket. "Just try and say that about me again!"

Freddy unfolded his arms and put his right-gloved hand in the air, clanking all his finger knives together and smiling smugly - satisfied with the way he'd annoyed Chucky. "You heard me, you plastic shrimp! I said YOU...ARE...A...BAD...CHEEEEATEEERRRRRR!" Freddy said in a slow, patronising voice.

Oh yeah...and it was worth mentioning that the two couldn't go five minutes without getting into a rather childish fight, and it seemed like another was about to be witnessed.

Chucky quivered with the rage as he took those words in, raising his knife-wielding arm to take a stab at Freddy, who had also raised his arm ready to slash Chucky with his gloved knives.

"BRING IT ON, DOLL BOY!" the dream demon sneered.

Suddenly, before they could take their shots, both of their sharp weapons spontaneously jumped from their hands and flew across the room. Chucky and Freddy stood there perfectly still and open-mouthed. "What the he..!" Chucky began to speak, but he didn't get a chance to finish as thick chains appeared from above, wrapping quickly around them and holding them in place.

Freddy rolled his eyes and shook his head - he knew what this meant. "Great! Now you've done it, you plastic jerk! You've gone and pissed off Pinny-boy!"

Chucky opened his mouth wide, flabbergasted at Freddy's barefaced cheek. "Me?! You're the one who threw a girly hissy fit over a stupid game of cards!"

At that moment, a tall and elegant man dressed in leather with pins driven into his head - his eyes dark and void of expression and his skin deathly pale - stepped out of the shadows. His face bore a disapproving expression as he eyed the two bound ex-slashers. "Charles, Frederick, what is the meaning of this childish spat?" he gently asked, speaking in a deep, ethereal voice, and his accent distinctly English.

Xipe Totec, also known as Pinhead; keeper and leader of the club, at least whenever the actual owner is away, and stressed out Cenobite, was here!

Chucky and Freddy both looked at each other. "He started it!" they both yelled in unison.

Pinhead sighed heavily. If he were human, then surely he would have had a nervous breakdown by now. "Why must every game that you two fools play have to descend into a full blown squabble? I am fast losing my patience with both of you!"

Chucky hung his head. "Aw, come on Pinhead! You know that saying? Boys will be boys? We're just passionate."

"That statement holds no truth. Your gender should not dictate whether or not you're acting like erratic Neanderthals."

Freddy snorted. "Ha, joke's on you. I've never been to Holland."

"What? Not Netherlands, I meant..." Pinhead sighed and narrowed his ebony eyes at the ever- squabbling pair. "Why I am in a club full of moronic idiots I'll never know!"

Chucky scoffed at the Cenobite's statement. "You say that, and yet you always kiss up to Tweedledee and Tweedledum over there!"

He was gesturing towards two hulking masked figures sitting in the corner of the room playing another board game, this one being 'Guess Who'. Though the two weren't getting very far due to their mute nature. One wore a hockey mask and the other had an emotionless Halloween one with the facial features of Captain Kirk. They were none other than Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers respectively.

"Unlike you two," Pinhead continued. "Those two behave accordingly."

"Oh yeah!" Freddy shook his head and huffed. "What about the time we had those partying teenagers raving about next door last Friday 13th? Did momma's boy act accordingly then?"

Pinhead thought back to that time...that wasn't a very pleasant time for anyone, specifically Jason and the teenagers he went after. "Perhaps they slip up in their behaviour sometimes, but not as often as either of you!"

"Cuz we're special!" the burnt demon shot back while swatting away one of the chains hanging nearby. "Look, I hate to interrupt your little rant, PinBoy," he said sarcastically. "But these chains are kinda hurting."

As Freddy spoke, Jason and Michael approached, curious to see what all the arguing was about. Freddy groaned when he saw them. "Uh-oh! Speak of the Diablo, here come the two dumb mutes - just our luck!" he grimaced.

Pinhead turned to address the big guys. He was tall, but Jason and Michael made him look like Leprechaun by comparison! "Michael, Jason...all is well. Charles and Frederick are getting dealt with accordingly. If they don't start behaving soon - I shall tear their souls apart!"

Both Chucky and Freddy sighed in unison. "Ooooh, again with the soul tearing thing! You seriously need some new material, Spikey!" Chucky bellowed, irritated.

Freddy nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah, I'm sick of hearing how our 'suffering will be legendary'! Ya know, Pin cushion, you're about as scary as the hockey-puck in drag!"

Jason took out his machete and lunged toward Freddy, ready to slice his head off, and he would have had it not been for Pinhead's quick intervention. "Aww!" the dream demon's mocking voice dripped with sarcasm and confidence whilst Jason was held back by the pinheaded Cenobite. "Hit a nerve, Mama's boy?!"

If there was one fight that could easily eclipse Freddy and Chucky's, it would be the dream demon's and Jason's. The two could not stand each other. It was a miracle to even have them exist in the same room together without tearing each other apart, not for the lack of trying occasionally.

"ENOUGH!" Pinhead shrieked.

Freddy smirked while Chucky, Michael and Jason were all taken aback by the usually calm and mild-mannered pinned demon's angry cry. "Ooops, we've made PinBoy angry! Ooh, I'm quaking in my boots!" Freddy mocked.

Chucky huffed. "Will you shut the fuck up, you crispy raisin?! Or we'll never hear the end of this!"

Pinhead's anger soon diminished, and a slight smile tugged the corners of his cool lips. "Gentlemen, you will be released on one condition. You'll each apologise to one another, and mean it."

Freddy rolled his eyes. "Jeez, trust us to get lumbered with a bloody pacifist Cenobite!" he muttered.

"FREDERICK! My patience is wearing thin!" the Cenobite bellowed.

Freddy closed his eyes, took a deep breath and sighed. "Okay, whatever Pinny!" He turned to look at Chucky. "I am truly sorry, Chuck. It won't happen again." Freddy said in a cocky, half-hearted manner. He then turned his attention to Pinhead. "There! Are you happy now...your Majesty!?"

Freddy was immediately released from his restraints, rather abruptly, and fell to the floor - much to the amusement of Pinhead, Chucky, Jason and Michael.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU MOTHER-FUCKING, MAGGOT-INFESTED PEA BRAINED ASSHOLES OR I'LL CUT YA HEADS OFF AND STICK THEM ON SPIKES FOR THE VULTURES TO PICK AT!" Freddy screamed, making Michael and Jason hang their heads down and Chucky to struggle to stifle his laughter. He smirked and turned to Pinhead. "See, being intimidating isn't that hard!"

Pinhead, unmoved by Freddy's threat, merely cleared his throat and turned his attention to Chucky. "Now that Frederick's...'apologised' to you, do you have something you want to say to him, Charles?"

Chucky rolled his eyes and huffed. "Yeah, yeah, I'm really sorry, Fred. I simply can't wait to get down so I can snog your face off!" he said.

The both of them shuddered at the thought of kissing one another.

Just like Freddy, Chucky was abruptly released from his restraints - falling to the floor and landing on his plastic rear end.

Freddy roared with the laughter. "Aww, did the cute little dolly fall on his ass? Aww, poor baby! Let's call Nurse Barbie to make you feel better." he said mockingly.

Chucky, rubbing his back end, glared at Freddy. "Least I can get action, unlike you! Still auditioning for the Forty year old virgin?" he yelled.

Freddy jumped forward, and the two were at it again.

'Oh, not this foolishness again!' Pinhead thought to himself despairingly, rubbing his temple. Michael and Jason couldn't be bothered to do anything else; there was no point in butting for the time being, so they merely headed back to continue their more peaceful, if never-ending games...didn't help that next on their list was Charades.

Meanwhile, Freddy and Chucky were...bonding.

"Ah, go fuck a blow-up doll, ginger snap!"

"Go to Hell, Pizza Face!"

"Go find yourself a shoebox to live in, shorty!"

"Go light yourself on fire...oh yeah, silly me YOU DONE THAT ONE ALREADY!"

"SO DID YOU!"

''

''

"SHUT UP!"

Pinhead shook his head in annoyance and closed his eyes. He watched for a few moments longer as the two homicidal maniacs exchanged insults back and forth. If he didn't break it up soon, they would just go on and on!

"Stop this foolishness at once! Or I'll personally see to it from the manager herself that you both be banned from coming here!" Pinhead yelled authoritatively.

Chucky and Freddy ceased in their petty squabbling, and then turned to gawp at Pinhead, their eyes widened in sheer terror at the mere mention of being banned from the club.

Naturally, they'd rather be out killing, or attempting to find a body to inhabit. But since they were banned from doing so, all they had was this club. To them, it was better than being tortured for an eternity in Hell by Pinhead himself, and Pinhead knew this.

The Cenobite smiled contentedly once the troublesome duo quietened down. "That's better. Now, go and find another game to play before I drag you both to my realm kicking and screaming." Pinhead then turned on his heel. "If you'll excuse me gentlemen, I have to return to my chess game with Angelique."

Freddy scoffed. "How can you play something as boring as chess?"

"I'll have you know that chess is quite the stimulating game. It requires patience, knowledge, and an analytic and strong mind. Something I hope the two of you acquire soon!"

Chucky smirked and leaned closer to Freddy so that he could whisper in his ear. "Yeah, I bet that Angelique chick would rather do something else with PinBoy that's stimulating."

Not quite hearing what the doll had said, Pinhead stopped in his tracks and turned his gaze toward Chucky. "What was that?"

"Er...I was just saying good luck." Chucky replied and over exaggerated a thumbs-up gesture to the Cenobite.

Unconvinced, but not willing to spend another moment arguing with the two of them, Pinhead turned heel and walked away. "Of course you were."

As Pinhead left Chucky and Freddy to sulk and pout, someone suddenly burst through the door. Before anyone could say anything, a black figure came waltzing in and shouting to the heavens.

"WHAAAATZZZZUPPP! Who's ready to play some snap!?" Ghostface cried out excitedly, before stopping and finding himself in an awkward position as Freddy and Chucky stared at him. "Are we playing another game?"

The scream-mask ex-killer wasn't as much of a frequent visitor as some of the others, and nobody knew quite who he was, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try to burst in and start a wild party whenever he got the chance.

Freddy shook his head in a defeated manner. "We're not in a gaming mood anymore."

A smile curled on Chucky's face. "He's just mad 'cause I beat him agai- OW!" He gasped as Freddy elbowed him in the stomach.

To Be Continued...