A/N:Italicized are either flashbacks or thoughts. Characters are scandalously, but unapologetically OOC. Standard disclaimer applies. Please take a seat, I apologize in advance: this will be a longer chapter. ;)

Ichi-go Ichi-e

Chapter 17

Promises

~Four Years Ago~

Ten-thirty in the evening and Kouga's cellphone blared through the nearly empty apartment. He tried to blink his sleep away, they had just emerged from a red-eye flight and he was still fighting his jet lag.

He tiptoed carefully from the couch, peeking into the one-bedroom of his cousin's multimillion-dollar suite. He sighed in relief: his old mother was sleeping soundly on the mattress. Knocked out, was the apt description. He would have woken her up to tell her he was right, she shouldn't have come with him and Ayame for this visit, it would have only tired her out.

He stepped away from the room and into the balcony. He answered the phone.

What he heard next shook the world out of him: he did not expect it at all.

"Is she there?!" Ayame's panicked voice screamed through his ears. "I barged into the brat's penthouse- fucking broke the lock… but she's not here-"

"What-"

"Kagome!" His wife was crying, to the point of delirium. "She fled from the party, that son of a bitch… he said he didn't know her, he even mocked her-"

"What's happening?" A steady hand rested on his shoulders. Kouga spun around, his old mother was awake, she could very much hear Ayame's hysteria.

"IS SHE THERE?" Ayame repeated, and it was then that Kouga's eyes widened to the point of panic himself. "I'll call the neighboring establishments," she hastened, "Kouga-kun… you and Sango are the closest to her… do you have any idea as to where she might be?!"

He dropped his phone without ending the call, and he didn't realize, his legs had already sprung to life. He could barely hear his steps as he darted through the quiet lobby, his heart was pounding so hard he felt it would escape out of his ribcage.

He barged into the indoor atrium, two people were in there talking, and surprised, they asked him something.

He could not hear. The sound of his blood rushing into his head, pounding in his ears was deafening.

"I made one for you," five-year-old Kagome said, as she reached out and placed a handmade flower wreath on his head. "See, it's beautiful, just like Kouga-kun."

"I'm not 'beautiful'!" He pouted, crossed his arms and looked away.

"I'm a big boy, 'Gome-chan!"

She suddenly fell silent, a blush was rising in her cheeks. Then her face bloomed into a toothy smile.

She laughed. She sprang up and tackled him, and they sank into the bed of springtime flowers. "No! You're not a big boy, silly! You're Kouga-kun! And you'll always be Kouga-kun-"

"Kagome," he ground his teeth, the burn of tears stinging in his eyes. He slammed the sliding door shut and he ran away from the atrium…. Kouga found himself in an indoor prayer room.

It was empty, at this time in the night, there was no one in sight.

"Kouga-kun," They had just hit the confusing world of puberty, he was crying over his first love. "Someone else will come, someone better for you."

"What if she doesn't?" he dumbly said.

"She will," she said with a reassuring smile, "I know she will. I pray for Kouga-kun's happiness every day.

Besides, Kouga-kun shouldn't worry about the wait. I'll always be there for him, no matter what."

"Where are you," he cursed, he was running towards no particular direction. His feet ached, his lungs, exhausted.

Something suddenly clicked in him, and his gaze snapped up. His hazel eyes darkened in hue, and he found his legs springing back into action. He did not mind the ache, he was running out of breath. Up into a dark stairway he ran, "You better not be here," he cursed through a blur of tears, "Kagome, you better not fucking be here!"

He pushed the door open, and a gush of wind rammed his exhausted body. He blinked back. Before him was the heightened view of the Skyline of New York: he was on the rooftop of the building, on the ninety-fifth floor.

But Kouga did not see the skyline, nor the city lights blinking below.

What he saw was the solitary, vulnerable figure standing at the edge of the railing.

His whole world flickered before him, and he whispered, as the world started to fade around him, and at that moment, all he could see was her:

"Kagome… don't you fucking dare…"

"Apologize." The blue-eyed woman said, her lips curled down in utter displeasure. Gone was the accommodating smile on her lips, the warmth of her blue, blue eyes.

"Excuse me?" Minako raised a brow, "Are you talking to me?" the young woman dared to look around, scandalized.

Kagome did not answer, but her stare remained defiant, she will not be stood up against. "It's pretty clear who I am talking to," The Gun heiress said, as she slowly stalked towards her. She ended an arm's length away, and her blue glare descended onto Minako like a subjugating curse. "Or maybe I need to properly address you by name, miss…?"

"Taisho," Minako answered with a smirk. The woman stood up, she tried to stare down at the predator. But damn the blue-eyed woman's stilettos were sky-high, she could only glare up. "Minako Taisho. I'm your date's—"

"EX-wife." Sesshomaru stood up. He firmly seized Minako's arm and tugged at her. "What the hell are you doing," he whispered.

"Oh?" The Gun Magnate's brow raised, feigning amusement. But there was absolutely no mirth in her pretty face, her lips were still curled down. " Miss Taisho, to clear whatever wrong impressions, If for some reason you did not hear me the first time—"

Minako's shoulder shook, and a sound came out of her smirking lips. Restrained at first, until it bubbled up… she was laughing, a mocking, sarcastic laugh. "I heard you, I'm not deaf!" Minako continued the absurd display until she tilted her head to the golden-eyed man beside her, "Can you believe it, Sesshomaru? This girl is asking me to apologize, what wrong have I done?"

"You tripped the waiter while he was en route to the next table," Kagome said without missing a beat, "And I'm not asking you to apologize…" there was no smile, no filter to what she was internally feeling.

The pretty little Gun Magnate was genuinely displeased.

"I'm not asking you," her glare was piercing, "I'm telling you to apologize."

This was not the docile little lamb that Sesshomaru described to her, almost four years ago. This was not the quiet martyr, who endured everything that was thrown her way in hiding.

This woman… was the exact opposite… of what her ex-husband led her to believe.

It slowly, finally dawned on Minako what was in front of her: an apex predator,

An alpha female.

Reality started sinking in, and Minako, suddenly grasping what she had walked blindly into, took a hesitant step back. "W- What if I don't want to—"

The blue-eyed woman took a defiant step forward. "Then I'll make you."

Panic.

It started in Minako's spine, shooting to her nerves. Like a cornered animal she took steps back, but much to her terror the woman kept taking steps forward—

"I hope you're not a bully," Kagome continued, her angelic face haunting, her cold, ruthless tone sent Minako's hackles standing, "And I'm pretty sure I'm not one myself. But I hate playing games…"

Kagome reached out—

"Especially…

Silly ones…"

Just when the gun heiress was about to touch the woman's face, Minako felt a firm tug on her wrist, forcing her a few steps backward, away from the alpha's punishing hand. Then she remembered… Sesshomaru!

Minako attempted to turn to the golden-eyed man beside her, but she halted when squeezed her wrist, cueing her to stop. Minako stood very still, and she felt the warmth of Sesshomaru's hand rest on the back of her head.

He bowed his head low, and with his hand on Minako's head he gently pushed, forcing her into a bowing gesture herself.

"I apologize on behalf of my ex-wife," he said, "This is highly embarrassing for Minako, for me… especially you. We're sorry for any inconvenience this evening, Kagome."

There was a slight pause, as the Gun Heiress' blue glare hovered over the two for moments. Then she shifted, as she kept her pretty little chin up, staring down at the two hunched forms before her. "Good," she finally said, and then she tilted her head to a sidelong glance. "Your presence is not needed here," she suddenly said, and Sesshomaru cast his gaze up, to her: she was not talking to him,

She was addressing it to her bodyguards.

"I'm done with this night. All of you, report back to my overprotective cousin. This is ridiculous."

The bodyguards complied, sparing no minute they left. Kagome turned to leave, not even looking back at Minako, nor to Sesshomaru.

When he saw her walk away, something snapped in the white-haired doctor, as his limbs found movements of their own. "Kagome," Sesshomaru called out, almost desperate was the tone of his voice, as he reached out to seize her fading hand.

But something appeared into his line of sight: someone walking straight to Kagome. Someone with a pair of arms, wrapping itself around her tiny waist, someone with a strong grip, pulling the small woman into his sturdy, Armani-clad chest.

It took a moment for Sesshomaru to realize that someone was not him: that someone was Mitsui Jakotsu, looking down at the beautiful woman, who earlier was so intimidating, now looked so small and vulnerable in the arms of another man.

"Princess," Jakotsu said, tenderly cupping her chin, tilting her face towards his for direct eye contact, "What happened?"

"What happened?" Jakotsu said, pulling away from her, bracing his hands on her smooth but dirtied shoulders.

"I ruined your sister's dress," Kagome said, her blue eyes enviously doe-eyed and mellow. Sesshomaru remained quiet, trying to comprehend. But Jakotsu's gaze drifted to the couple, and the dark-haired man sighed.

"The dress is a part of my sister's winter collection, to be auctioned next week to the Bienfaisantfundraiser event," Jakotsu calmly explained, "The proceeds would have gone to the beneficiaries of the Children's Cancer Society." With a look of concern in his usually nonchalant face, he pulled the disappointed woman closer. "Hey, I'll donate one of my swords from my vintage collection, how about that? That would surely replace the value of your ruined dress-"

"Mitsui-kun, your swords are worth far more than your sister's dress," she looked up to him, oh so eagerly it sent a painful, constricting feeling into the golden-eyed man's chest,

"Money is no issue," Jakotsu answered, and he leaned over to kiss her forehead, "Especially when it comes to you. I'm sure you're aware of that, princess."

Kagome nodded her head, and Jakotsu tenderly took her hand and kissed it. "Then I should probably thank Taisho-san for this lucky break," she turned to Minako. "I'm not apologizing for my behavior earlier, I'm not taking back what I said. I still think it was petty and embarrassing," The alpha female gave a formal bow. "But I do thank you, because of your tasteless actions, the auction will reap more funds."

Minako stared, dumbfounded.

Jakotsu stepped away from Kagome and leaned towards Sesshomaru. "I don't know what happened, and if Kagome refuses to tell, then it is not my position to pry. But I'm sorry if things went awry tonight," In a most unprecedented move, Jakotsu extended a hand to the golden-eyed doctor, "Anyway, pleasure seeing you again, Taisho. Thank you for keeping my fiancée company tonight."

Lulled by the man's nonchalant demeanor, unable to sort the varying emotions, Sesshomaru absently reached out, and they shook hands.

Mitsui Jakotsu made sure he kept a cordial smile on his face. He made sure the handshake was long enough for people around to see, and the dark-haired man hid a smirk when he saw a couple of media personalities on the table across him. Satisfied, he pulled away from the formality, as he turned to his fiancée and started to undo his coat.

He put it over her small form, covering her barely-clothed, wet and most probably cold body. And he kept a secret eye on the quiet doctor:

Sesshomaru looked as if a certain pain came over him.

Indeed, the white-haired man internally cringed. He failed to recognize Kagome's needs. Jakotsu mentally gloated, oh how he enjoyed the look on his unlikely rival's tortured face.

"Meet me at the entrance?" Mitsui said, stroking Kagome's cheek, "I'll get the valet ready."

Kagome nodded her head. She watched as the tall man jogged out of the door, disappearing into the empty lobby leading to the entrance. Not long after she slowly made her way, walking the long, carpeted hall herself,

Listening to the sounds of her footsteps, muffled from the carpet, lost in her thoughts.

The moment the door swung open, she immediately knew it was him. She had grown up with him, after all, and the pattern of footfalls she could recognize, because the littlest details, the smallest quirks of the people she loved was already imprinted in her memory,

Burned into her heart.

"Kouga-kun," she said without turning back. There was no shifting, no movement, wherever he was he stood perfectly still. It would probably be for the best,

The slightest movement might startle her, there was a hair's trigger between the concrete and the hundred feet drop below. Kagome held her breath, she thought she was about to spill her heart out as she cried.

She was about to ask forgiveness for how stupid she was, pining for a man who didn't choose her.

She was about to say how she was disgusted by herself, for not being the person that man wanted, and to have carried the name of the family that he hated the most.

She was about to curse herself… for not being able to be strong enough to leave, for coming back again and again.

Kagome was about to tell Kouga all of those things, but as her tears fell and she shut her eyes tight, all she could utter was: "Help me."

She could not pull herself out of this vicious cycle, she could not let Sesshomaru go. No matter how hard she tried, so many times he let her down,

She could never seem to learn her lesson.

It was the memory of his warm hand as he held hers, as they were looking at picture-books of the aurora borealis,

His golden stare of surprise when she first spoke to him, and his smile when he finally heard her voice,

It was his laughter at 2 am, when everyone else in the world was sleeping, and he woke up to her rearranging the kitchen pantry because 'the small cans are not in proportion to the large ones,'

"I can't get out of this hell, Kouga-kun…

Help me…"

She expected her cousin to fall silent. She expected him to try to coax her gently, after all, she had a broken heart. Didn't she do the same, when she tried to comfort his?

But a sudden yank to her collar almost cut the air out of her throat. A forceful pull backward, and she was smashed mercilessly to the railing. Her cousin's significant weight body-slammed her to the metal bars, and he shoved his arms on her shoulders, pinning her to the barrier.

"What the FUCK do you think you're doing?!" He screamed out, his voice pained and raw. The flow of his tears fell unabashed, and he was livid… racked with miserable torment, as he continued to scream into Kagome's ringing ears. "Who the FUCK do you think you are, doing such a thing?!"

The woman could only cry. She watched her grown cousin break down before her, his strength, drained by his tears. "Fuck you, Kagome…" he whimpered, "Fuck you… how dare you do this… fuck you…"

The crushing weight from his hands released. What was left was him and her, sobbing before each other like lost little children,

Until she reached out and wrapped her arms around him,

And he fell limp, relaxing to her hold.

"I'm sorry, Kouga-kun…

I'm so sorry…"

They stayed that way for a while, holding each other in silence when something shifted from the doorway.

"Ever since Kouga was a little boy, he would tell me how selfish you were. I never thought it to be true," They didn't have to look back, because they knew. "I never believed him. But now I see it."

They held each other, trembling, and Kaede knelt before them, reaching out to wipe their tears.

"Kagome-chan, it pains my heart… to hate the very name that gave you life. Don't you remember the tears in your mother's eyes, the despair in her voice, when she begged you to live?"

The blue-eyed heiress shrunk into the arms of her cousin, and she shut her eyes tight, unable to tolerate the vivid images that flashed in her mind.

"Despite everything that has happened, child, you still live a precious, sheltered life. Overflowing with material blessings, abundant with people who love you unconditionally…"

Kagome felt Kouga squeeze her harder in his arms. She leaned on to him,

"How selfish of you. How could you disregard your mother and father's memory? how could you turn a cold shoulder to the people who have stood by your side?

You hold such a wonderful, covetable life…

How selfish of you… to deprive that from the child that is growing in your womb?"

The blue-eyed heiress whole body shook, crying her heart out. Relying on the strong arms that held her, holding on to the words of her guardian.

"Kagome, if you can't do it for yourself,

Do it for that little child.

When he comes out to meet the world, you will be his stronghold. You will be the one he looks up to… in his eyes, you will be most perfect to him, even in your lowest of days.

You owe it to that little child, Kagome. Share this wonderful life you have to him,

Show him a life full of love, and laughter,

and all the things that make you smile…"

"Kaede-sama," Kagome finally cried out, as she flung her arms around her.

Kaede wrapped her arms around them, and she held them tight.

"I'm sorry," Kagome sobbed, "I'm so sorry…"

"I thought you were crying," Jakotsu said when Kagome stepped out of the restaurant, the humid air immediately greeting the rest of her exposed skin. Her goosebumps rose underneath her coat.

"It's funny… ever since I met you, I never saw you cry."

"I don't cry in front of anyone," She said. "It ruins my make-up."

Jakotsu looked back to watch her. She was unruffled, still perfectly poised… and charmingly vain. "Heh," The man chuckled, "You didn't have to worry. Considering it withstood hot Tomato and Basil soup, that's some durable stuff you've got there."

"Why are you here?" she met her fiancé's eyes, coldly grey and dull against the golden lights that seemed to flicker from the pedestals. The rain was torrential, as it had been for it was season, she could see him shiver from a cold gust of wind that blew their way.

But she had his coat on her, and unfortunately for him, it was her only source of warmth.

He will have to suffer for a while. It was his fault, anyway, daring her to wear such a skimpy dress.

Kagome stole a meek glance at the outline of the man before her. It seemed as of late, their dares were beginning to take more extreme turns. Perhaps it was from familiarity? They were acquainted with each other excessively much, they had the mentality that there was nothing they could do to offend each other. Or perhaps it was from boredom? Mitsui tended to be bored easily. She was quick to boredom, too, maybe more than him (he was very well aware of it,) except for her, she hated drama.

Drama, which he so much loved.

That was the only thing that set them apart.

"I missed you," he said as he snuck his hands into his pockets, hiding it from the evening chill. He brought his gaze back to the street. "Is it a crime to miss my darling fiancée?"

A few people sought shelter from the bothersome rain, cars splashed by, honking at a few determined bikers who were soaked. Kagome walked up beside him, she joined him as he watched the world from behind the sanctuary of the restaurant's marquee."I knew something was on your mind."

"My father agreed to sign off my inheritance at the event of our Yuinou," admitted the young man, his voice cautiously low. He kept his eyes trained at the passing cars on the street. Brief reflections of gold from headlights flashed and died down, and then everything was dark again.

"I am aware," she said with an equally cautious tone, making sure their conversation would not be overheard. She looked up to him. "Have I done something to dampen your confidence?"

Jakotsu shook his head. "You're doing perfectly fine, princess. And I absolutely love you for putting up with me and this silly contract of ours. But we can never be too careful, especially with all the suspicion between our relationship."

"Your brother still thinks our engagement is fake?" she was vexed.

The dark-haired man paused. He blinked, as he finally tore his gaze from the torrent, towards the small woman beside him. Then his somber mood suddenly lightened, and he laughed, throwing his head back and laughed such as a perfect gentleman like Mitsui Jakotsu would have laughed. "You scare me, princess. With you, I would often do a double-take…"

"Don't worry, Mon Cherie," she gave him a playful side glance, "I haven't developed any romantic feelings for you."

Jakotsu tilted his head, and keeping an eye on his lovely fiancée, he smiled. "Ah, such scathing words…" He clutched a fist over his chest, "How it burns my poor, fragile heart."

The rain seemed as if it had no plans of stopping. From the stoplight on the corner, they could see their car, the outline of the valet in the driver's seat, wipers of full blast, waiting for the light to change into green. The drumming of the downpour was heavy from above them.

"I just wanted to make sure everything is covered," Jakotsu said, "Just in case your meeting with Taisho is brought up. We'll never know, especially with my brother. He's very cunning, he'll do anything to negate this front of ours, just to take the family inheritance from me.

So I apologize for showing up unannounced. I had to make face, I had to leave evidence that I was aware of this dinner, that I and the Taisho guy are perfectly good acquaintances, nothing funny is going on between the both of you, yada yada yada…"

She fell silent for a while. "I'm sorry."

"Princess, don't be-"

"I should be more vigilant, considering that you are."

Jakotsu shrugged his shoulders, "It was just a thought. Don't worry about it too much. Whatever happened inside will be subject to talk, but there is no evidence. Taking pictures is banned inside. Besides, I saw someone from the media witness my interaction with Taisho. That will take care of any suspicion."

"No," Kagome shook her head, "I don't want anyone, stranger or not, to doubt what is 'between' us. Especially with the Yuinou coming next month, I don't want your father to be in a quandary." She seemed to pause when she saw a couple of people lingering from a bus station beside their marquee.

One of the bystanders stealthily pulled a phone out, and Kagome, realizing the familiar move, turned to her companion.

"Pictures are not banned outside this restaurant, are they?"

He secretly glanced at where she had her attention, and he saw the two shutterbugs. "Hey," he turned to her, ignoring the strangers. He braced his hands on her small, darling little form, "I told you, don't worry about it. This is just me being paranoid." He leaned over and kissed her hair tenderly.

Their car finally pulled up, the valet walked out of the rain and into the marquee. He handed the keys to Jakotsu. "Wait here," The valet said, "Let me get an umbrella." He dashed into the entrance doors.

"Tsk," Jakotsu said, turning to his fiancée, "What do these people think, we'd die if we get a little drop of water on our h—"

He was cut short when he felt a tug on his lapel, and he was pulled down, onto soft lips that tasted like peaches.

Surprised, Jakotsu attempted to pull away. But the familiar flash of the camera flickered at the corner of his eye, and it was then that he figured out what she was trying to do.

Mitsui Jakotsu wrapped his arms around his fiancée's waist and pulled her closer, daring her into a deeper kiss.

As a person who identified himself as one who is attracted to the same sex, as a person whose fake fiancée would playfully describe him as "flamingly gay," he would admit, her lips were soft, her kiss was almost heavenly. He had learned to enjoy these play kisses as nothing more than an overinflated parody,

and he knew she felt the same,

how they did it for fun,

for the sake of teasing the notorious cameras,

for the sake of the apotheosis-level relationship they so deceitfully painted together.

"Ah," he exclaimed as he pulled away for air. He cupped her beautiful face in the palm of his hand, "T'es si parfaite pour moi," he said in the most dramatic flair, "My partner-in-crime, how I absolutely love you."

It was that abnormally bright day, four years ago, all over again. But instead of a mass of people that spirited her out of his vision, this time it was a blur of pathetic tears. Tears that he tried to hide because he did not want to shame her.

That dearest, most cherished woman had asked;

He knew there would be a downturn of her unsurpassed lips,

An elegant shrug of vexation if he dared to cause a scene.

*Please let's be civil,* she said,

*She is an affianced woman now.*

Harada stated ruthlessly,

*Any unwanted advances towards her will not look good in the public's eyes.*

He waited until the people around him settled down. The ex-wife was pulling on his sleeve, yet he remained indifferent. Sesshomaru tried his best to stay back and refrain from running after her, the woman who so casually walked away as if nothing happened, and he was able to… but only for a little while.

His body held a mind of its own.

He found himself striding into the long, empty hallway, past the receiving lobby. He could hear the pounding of the rain from outside the shelter of the restaurant.

When he opened the heavy glass door, he was already overwhelmed. Partly from his foreboding sensations from alcohol withdrawal, partly from the rush of fresh, damp air that overloaded his stifled chest.

He did indeed gulp in the air, sucked it in and was unable to release freely, because his world froze around him, and his vision faded into black: for when he opened the door, it was the exact moment the blue-eyed woman reached out to her lover and pulled him in for a torrid, feverish kiss.

The dark-haired man, infected by her delirious longing, wrapped his arms around her small waist and folded her into his body, cramming his lips onto her willing mouth, intensifying the already scandalous contact.

"T'es si parfaite pour moi," the man murmured as he pulled away.

Sesshomaru knew what it meant. 'You're so perfect for me,' Kagome had whispered to him those words, four years ago, when they were still together.

"My partner-in-crime," the man continued with a cocky grin, "How I absolutely love you."

Along with his vision that faded was his presence. He quietly stepped back into the artificial atmosphere of the restaurant, rushing into the men's room and locked himself in a cubicle.

In his solitude he allowed his tears to fall.

~ Higurashi-DuPont Residence,

Midnight ~

It was not a sleepless night for the blue-eyed President. She, in fact, fell asleep at exactly 10 pm. Unfortunately, she woke up at midnight from a sudden thought.

It was a thought that would pop up into her head, once in a while, one of the thoughts that were not intrusive, just a force of habit.

And that certain thought came quietly, whispering into her heart.

Through the years she had learned to silence those thoughts. Not suppress, but silence, she had already trained her heart to acknowledge them as a part of her past, a part of her.

She turned to her nightstand, to where a box, wrapped in simple rice paper, was sitting quietly.

"Haku," she whispered, "Am I doing good right now?"

Kagome sighed, and she looked away. She stared emptily at the ceiling for the longest time, until her lashes fluttered down,

And she settled into a peaceful sleep.

~ Onigumo Holdings, Suite 102

7.30 pm~

"He's not here," Shippo said. The meeting was over, it was not until after 7 pm when she stopped by the headquarters of the new project. She had been busy the whole day, much like the other days. Today she had to spend most of her time in their main company's building, the DuPont Firearms and Ammo, and she thought she couldn't escape, but here she was. "Hasn't been here since morning." Her Vice-President continued, a frown starting to etch on his youthful face. "Why do you need to see him?"

"Personal matters." Kagome shrugged. She was holding a moderately-sized paper bag, and from the looks of it, it didn't look light.

"Have you checked on your subordinate at all?" Jakotsu stepped in, slinging his arm casually on Kagome's small shoulders, leaning on her small frame. "He might have passed away from alcohol poisoning, you know, lying on the floor cold and rigid—"

"Mitsui-kun!" The woman said, horrified.

"I'll check on him when I come home." Shippo shut his briefcase with finality. "You have a flight set at 9 pm, Kagome-chan. You still up for dinner at my place?"

"Of course," Kagome said, and she looked at the man attached to her. "You're still bringing the desserts, Mon Cherie?"

"Of course, Princess." He gazed lovingly at his darling fiancée.

Shippo only rolled his eyes in exasperation.

~Taisho Sesshomaru's Residence,

8:15 pm~

He probably looked like a trainwreck.

Not that he already was, but maybe more so. Today he was not able to get out of bed. The throbbing headache from this morning had not subsided,

Empty bottles strung neglected on the floor.

His puke was on his bathroom toilet, unflushed.

And he laid still on his mattress, unable to erase the image of Kagome, locking lips with her perfect man.

"How I absolutely love you."

Tears yet again trickled down his cheeks, unable to hold his battered emotions. "I loved you first," he said, laying to his side, cringing from the burn in his stomach, in his chest. "I still do."

Four years ago he married two different women, thinking she could be easily replaced.

It didn't work.

Three years ago he got demoted from his position in the Medical Group.

He couldn't cope with his responsibilities anymore.

Two years ago he shut himself out of any social interactions.

He couldn't bear to be around with people.

One year ago, he found himself waking up in a hospital bed,

on suicide watch, diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. He tried to kill himself, by overdosing on his sleeping pills while drunk on whiskey.

I know what you've been through was not easy,

And you might not believe me if I say it,

But those four years… were also hell for me…

Every minute was torture,

Every second… regret…

He didn't bother to wipe his tears.

I guess those four years still wasn't enough.

His phone suddenly blared. The first phone call for the whole day. Sesshomaru lifted his raw, weary eyes to the calendar on the wall.

October 10.

He dragged his exhausted body from bed, lumbered towards the kitchen. His stomach gurgled from hunger, he only had alcohol for the whole day. He pressed the button of the receiver.

First Unheard Message: Taisho Touga.

*Son, are you home?

I just wanted to touch base with my favor. I really need the money-*

Sesshomaru hit delete.

The lights were off, the ambient view of his floor-to-ceiling windows provided a dull overcast on his suite. In the deafening silence, he reached out for the refrigerator, the dim light reflecting onto his pale, exhausted face.

The cooler was full, Jaken was very good at anticipating his needs. Probably too good to the point of excess. He reached over and pulled out a single cupcake, and he placed it on the counter before him.

There were no other calls.

No notifications from his smartphone, no new emails.

Not even a letter snuck into the crack of his door.

He rested his elbows on the counter and stared at the cupcake, and then into the darkness of his suite. And Sesshomaru stayed that way for quite a while. Then he shifted, and he tilted his body sideways. Just as he was about to reach out to the whiskey drawer underneath him,

His doorbell rang.

Sesshomaru blinked, unsure if what he heard was just from his intoxication. Maybe it was his neighbor's doorbell?

The pleasant melody rang again, in the silence of his suite. Sesshomaru stiffened, he looked at the clock. 8.30 pm.

He set foot on the wooden floor, through the plush carpet of his living room, not bothering to check himself in the mirror. It was most probably Jaken, dropping off some unnecessary stuff, stuff he didn't even request…

The doorbell sounded off again.

He looked into the Door Viewer. "What have you brought this time, old ma—" Sesshomaru froze.

It wasn't the outline of his stout, leather-faced assistant, tapping his toes nervously, fidgeting with his clothes.

Like a bolt of lightning, Sesshomaru hurriedly undid the locks and swung the door open. The moment he did, blue eyes immediately locked with his. And all he could utter was: "Kagome?"

"Taisho-san," she said. She held up a substantial paper bag on her hands. "Happy Birthday."

She stood before him, quite unsure of what to do. The moment he opened the door and their eyes met, he started crying.

She would have rubbed her shoulders in discomfort, a childish habit of hers that she never grew out of. But the paper bag held a significant weight on her hands. And he was ignoring it, he stood there locked in his grief.

"Please don't make things more awkward," she looked away, discomfited.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" he snapped out of himself, as he hastily relieved the gift from her hands.

"Harada was supposed to check on you, but he got too drunk from the wine…" She looked up, he was staring at her as if she was someone who was resurrected from the dead.

And it didn't help that he was still crying…

"He lives two floors below you," Kagome explained.

"I wasn't aware of that," he said, finally finding the strength to wipe his tears away.

"He does. Anyway Mitsui and I just had dinner with him and Souten-chan…" she paused, as he was obviously in some form of mysterious pain, "And Shippo and Mitsui-kun ended up drunk…" she hesitated, when he held on to the framework of the door, "I needed to give that to you anyway… so here I am.

Are you alright?"

Reluctant, she tugged the silk ribbon that was holding her hair, and it fell unbound into a cascade of black onto her waist. She offered it to the miserable man.

He wiped his tears with the soft material,

But it only made his predicament worse.

"Alors…" she stepped back, disconcerted. "I'm sorry if I caught you at a bad time… feel better soon."

He shook his head, and he shuddered for a while. It took him a great amount of restraint to hold himself back. He would have reached out to her as she turned away. He would have called out her name,

But he knew she hated to be touched by him,

He knew his feelings were the least of her precious concerns, if it was, at all.

But instinct got the better of him. And the sad reality that he had to accept was, he could never stay away. "Kagome," Sesshomaru called, out of breath.

The blue-eyed woman turned around.

He stood there, quite a distance between them, on the other side of the hall. Silent tears, falling without respite, begging for her to listen.

And maybe she will, now that they were alone, without the prying eyes of strangers, now that there was only them.

She looked at him, and for a moment he allowed himself to pretend that she was still that doe-eyed girl back in his apartment, who crawled up to him during cold nights and rested her head on his chest, listening to him breathe,

The girl who listened to all his troubles and took her own demons in hiding, never letting him see.

But the girl that he saw five years ago… was not the girl he saw last night

And she had not been… had never been…

Only because he did not allow her to be, once upon a time.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, shaking his head, trying to sort the words out of his scrambled mind.

"What do you mean?" she answered.

"Why are you even talking to me," he pleaded, "After all that I've done to you, all the insulting things I've said.

You should hate me, exact revenge… yet here you are,

Trying to be civil,

Even helping me get back to my feet,"

Sesshomaru shook his head, not bothering to control his tears. If there was one person who was allowed to see him like this, it was her,

Only been her.

"I don't understand…" he cried, "I don't understand," The distance between them seemed like an unfathomable rift, and he hated it, how he hated it. She looked at him from the other side of the hallway, almost too quiet.

"Kagome," he begged,

But she remained still.

His brain was fuzzy, he was starting to feel the room spin around him. Numb, he wanted to feel numb, it was only the comfort of alcohol now, it had been, for the past four years,

His deadly replacement for the crushing isolation.

He stood there like the pathetic drunk that he was, crying in silence, knowing nobody would listen. He was so used to it, being alone, with only the bottle his constant companion that helped him get through.

"I already told you," she said, and he lifted his gaze to her comforting form. "I don't blame you for everything, I was at fault too." Her eyes were iridescent under the dim of the hallway lights.

"I allowed myself to be treated that way. And so I take responsibility for my choices.

Taisho-san, you've already been forgiven. But there are some things we can't just easily forget…

some things I can't easily forget…"

He felt the tears start to roll down on his cheeks, Gods, he could not stop crying,

"And because of that,

Things will never be the same again…"

"What should I do now," said the man, drained of strength "I don't know. I don't know…" He was not expecting for an answer, no he was not hoping for her even care. The weight of the paper bag on his hands was getting heavier. He did not have enough stamina left.

"We only live one life," she said, "I feel, in this life, I have lived a hundred more. And I am exhausted…"

He looked up to her, and for the first time in such a very long time, the warmth of her blue eyes came back, sincere and vulnerable.

"I'm so tired, but I want to move on… I want to continue to live… free of hate… away from such burdens… because I promised him."

"Mitsui?" he sought,

"No," she whispered, "Haku."

Sesshomaru stiffened.

"I promised him I'd show him a life full of love… one that he was supposed to have,

One that he deserved. I know he's watching over me, along with all the others that have loved me and left me behind.

Taisho-san… if you can't do it for yourself,

Do it for him."

We at least owe it to him."

She didn't wait for him to answer, she didn't even know if he was still there. Her cellphone rang and she picked up, "Louise," Miroku's voice drifted from the receiver, "We're at the complex' entrance. Where are you? Should I call the pilot to hold?"

"No need," she said, "I'll be on my way." Without turning back, she stepped into the elevator and disappeared out of sight.

The golden-eyed man slumped on the floor, exhausted. Unable to process, his mind in a state of raincloud and thunder, he stared at the heavy paper bag on his lap.

Absently he reached in, and he pulled out what looked like a box wrapped in rice paper. Sesshomaru tore the wrapping open, and he unfolded the flaps.

He thought his tears were dried up, only because of the sheer amount of crying he did the whole day. But what he saw inside the box seemed like the ultimate reveal, the final blow to his messed-up life.

It was his broken Georg Jensen vase, now intact,

Restored with the traditional art of Kintsugi.

"Kintsugi," he said as he pointed the picture to the quiet girl seated beside him. He had come across it this morning when his mother brought her books from Japan.

The moment he saw it, he knew he had to show it to her.

She reached out and traced her little hands across the golden lines on the picture, and then she lifted her blue gaze to him, as if asking him to say more.

"Also called Kintsukuroi," he explained, "It's the art of repairing broken pottery by mending it with lacquer mixed with silver or gold."

She opened her silent lips and sighed in awe, and he smiled, satisfied with her reaction.

He took her small hand with the warmth of his own, and they traced the lines together, quietly in the solace of the hospital room. "The cracks are the imperfections of life," He read to her out loud, "The never-ending changing conditions that break people into pieces.

But the breaking is an event to be embraced as a part of one's purpose. Rather than focusing on the broken pieces, the mends and seams, rather than hidden, are instead celebrated…

And the pottery, once beautiful and valuable,

Becomes even more so."

~San Francisco, California

One Day Later~

"When are you coming back?" Souten's voice sang into the speakerphone, "I have a new recipe to try out, Shippo's being a scaredy-cat—"

"I'm not." The vice-president seemed to huff through the receiver, "I'm just not fond of sweet things,"

"It will take me a couple of days to wrap up," Kagome answered, looking at stacks of reports on her desk. She sighed, and swiveled her chair back, towards the windows of her suite. The Golden Gate bridge was covered with fog today. She sighed again, for surely there would be hundreds of broken-hearted tourists down there. "I'll fly back once this is finished."

"Promise?" Souten crooned.

"Hey, enough chitchat." Shippo's serious voice interrupted. "I have to give her a few crucial reports."

"Fine, fine. All yours, Oh High and Mighty One."

There was a short scuffle, followed by the sound of a kiss. Kagome held the sleeve of her kimono to her lips and giggled. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No," Shippo answered curtly. "Kagome, there some things I want to bring up to your attention."

"Allez,"she answered, distracted by a paraglider that disappeared into the fog.

"The Audits have yielded a few discrepancies,"

"Miroku took care of that,"

"Our contract with one of our partners in the Holdings is expiring,"

"I will look into it, once I come home."

"Kagome," Shippo paused, "Taisho submitted an absence of leave… for a week, though, not to worry." He took a deep breath and released. "He checked in for inpatient rehab… to take care of his withdrawal symptoms.

After that, he will take the program outpatient as he resumes his responsibilities.

It will be a battle for his sobriety, from that point on."

She remained silent for a while, after all, how could one possibly react? She turned to her cup of tea and calmly took a sip.

A pop-up message appeared on her computer screen,

Sender: Mitsui Jakotsu

Attachment: Yuinou arrangements, venue and date.

Kagome leaned back towards the phone, bringing herself back from the momentary distraction.

"Ah, what can I say? Shippo, I wish him all the best."

Harada politely said his goodbyes, Kagome ended the call. She clicked the email message open and immersed herself back into work.