Ladybug
Chat Noir
Friday 13th April 2018
(9:05pm)
Chat I have many questions….
(9:09pm)
Then ask them…..
(9:10pm)
How did you buy us both phones
Why did you buy me one with a ladybug case
Why did you buy us phones in general?
(9:12pm)
Well to answer the first one I went to a phone store and exchanged paper currency for a phone, not exactly rocket science m'lady
(9:14pm)
I looked up the phone, it must've cost you at least $300!
(9:15pm)
Don't most phones cost that much?
(9:17pm)
Maybe but there was no need for you to buy me one that much. Now I've gotta pay you back for it!
(9:18pm)
It's a gift m'lady! You don't need to pay me back!
(9:20pm)
Yes I do! You spent 300 on me, that's a fortune!
(9:24pm)
Not really, I spend more on Plagg's cheese supply for a week than I did on the phones
(9:25pm)
How?
(9:27pm)
Let's just say I have a high paying job…..
(9:29pm)
Okay…. But why the ladybug case?
(9:32pm)
A ladybug for m'lady!
(9:35pm)
Okay…
(9:37pm)
But why the phones in the first place? I see u everyday bc of akumas!
(9:40pm)
So we can communicate
(9:41pm)
Plan patrols
(9:41pm)
Tell each other if we can't make patrols
(9:42pm)
Warn each other about akuma and where they are
(9:42pm)
I get it Chat
(9:43pm)
So we can warn each other if we'll be late
(9:43pm)
Oh….. Well yeah. Don't u think it's a good idea?
(9:45pm)
I think people are going to notice the fact that I suddenly have a new phone…
(9:46pm)
U don't have to show people the phone. Its just for 'superhero business'
(9:47pm)
Does 'superhero business' consist of u spamming me with cat puns or memes because if you do so I swear to god Chat that I will break this phone over ur head
(9:49pm)
MEOUCH! Ladybug y must u hurt me this way
(9:52pm)
What did i just say?
(9:54pm)
Fine no cat puns I got it :(
(9:56pm)
Good. Dont make me regret this chat
(9:59pm)
Don't worry m'lady u wont :D
Saturday 14th April 2018
(4:26am)
Hey Ladybug, I tried calling u earlier on my baton but I'm guessing ur sleeping like any rational human would be at this hour well unfortunately for us Hawkmoth is anything but a rational human being and has decided to release an akuma at this ungodly hour so if you could come to the seine and help me stop it that would be wonderful thanks.
(4:29am)
Hey Chat, It's Tikki (Ladybug's kwami) I'm doing my best to wake her but she won't budge. It looks like ur gonna have to deal with this by urself.
(4:32am)
If u really are Ladybug's kwami then u should know that I can't purify the akuma so I really can't do this without her. I kinda need her to do that crucial step for me.
(4:34am)
Damnit Plagg!
(4:35am)
As much as I agree with the sentimen damning him?
(4:38am)
Nevermind, it's not my secret to tell…. Even though he really should've told u the 1st day….. :(
(4:40am)
So is Ladybug going to be coming or do I have to fight this one on my own and then somehow contain the akuma for however long it takes u to wake her up?
(5:00am)
LB here, I just woke up.
(5:05am)
How did u sleep through it? I swear that half of Paris has been awoken by my attempted fight with it
(5:06am)
I'm a heavy sleeper ok! So what are we dealing with and wheres the akuma?
(5:08am)
Kid kept getting nightmares so is putting everyone in Paris into nightmares but they keep acting them out so it's kinda insane out here. Anyone who isn't asleep due to the akuma is awake due to the victims. Anyway she carries around a stuffed toy, pretty sure the akuma is in there.
(5:10am)
A nightmare akuma? That's pretty harmless
(5:12am)
Couldn't it have waited until the sun was up?
(5:14am)
HA;F OF PARIS IS TRAPPED IN NIGHTMARES AND A FAIR FEW ARE ACTING THEM OUT LEADING TO PEOPLE WALKING OFF OF THINGS OR DOING OTHER THINGS THAT SLEEPING PEOPLE VERY MUCH SHOULD NOT BE DOING. SO NO LB THIS COULD NOT WAIT!
(5:16am)
How did u even wake up?
(5:18am)
She came to my house and an akuma breaking into ur house is kinda loud. I swear Hawkmoth has no concept of subtlety.
(5:20am)
Alright kitty, so where is she?
(5:24am)
Eiffel tower, i'm not sure y bc idk anyone who sleeps there but she's there.
(5:28am)
Okay be there soon
(5:30am)
Thank god.
(5:31am)
And u thought these phones were a bad idea!
(10:43am)
I never said they were a bad idea it was more what were u thinking spending so much money on phones when we dont really need them
(10:45am)
Excuse me we do need them, last night was proof of that. I swear ur never awake when we get late night akumas i always have to hold them off until morning when u come swooping in
(10:50am)
Wait…. U never told me we got late night akuma before?
(10:53am)
I didn't want u to worry!
(10:55am)
So when there are early morning akuma those are the ones that were late night?
(10:56am)
Some of them. Usually if im there then it was late night
(10:58am)
Geez kitty when do u even sleep given ur fighting all these late night akuma
(10:59am)
SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK
(11:00am)
Then I am very very weak
(11:02am)
Seriously tho when do u find time to sleep cuz im assuming ur in school and u said u have a job so wtf?
(11:09am)
I don't sleep I live off of coffee and more sugar than is healthy for me to consume
(11:10am)
U have to sleep sometime tho?
(11:12am)
I sleep after patrol most of the time
(11:15am)
Do u need to finish it earlier so u can get enough sleep kitty?
(11:18am)
I GET NORMAL AMOUNTS OF SLEEP!
(11:20am)
Define normal
(11:23am)
Like 2-4 hours
(11:25am)
Thats not normal chat
(11:27am)
Also we finish patrol at midnight and most schools don't start until at least 7, so at the very least u should get 6 hours, how do u only get 2-4?
(11:29am)
Why r u so concerned about how much sleep i get? I really dont mind facing the early morning akuma I just would prefer not having to go to school exhausted with Plagg bugging me about cheese
(11:30am)
We're partners Chat, of course I care about u.
(11:31am)
Then trust me bugaboo, I'm fine.
(11:34am)
Alright Chat, I trust u. But let me know if u need a break or want to cut down patrol, I dont want u passing out on me.
(11:36am)
As if! U let me know too LB, I'd be lost without u.
(11:38am)
U seemedfine this morning without me
(11:40am)
If things are too much for u then take a break, just let me know so im not waiting for u also i do kinda need u for akuma cuz i cant purify them
(11:42am)
U got it kitty.
(11:45am)
My friend is sending me odd looks over my new phone so ttyl
(11:47am)
No problemo LB cant have ur friend catching on…
(11:48am)
Hahahahah CATching….. Get it?
(11:49am)
Hello?
(5:42pm)
WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CAT PUNS?
(5:43pm)
Hello and thank you for messaging Chat line where miraculous is my gain and puns keep us sane. Chat is unable to come to the phone right now but please text one of the following according to what you desire:
If you are ladybug and desire a date with Chat Noir please press 1
If the reason you are texting is pun related press 2
If there is an akuma attack currently going on and I am immediately required then I apologize for being indisposed but leave the name powers and location of the akuma after pressing 3.
If Paris is in some kind of other danger or if you are Ladybug in danger please press 4
If this is something to do with my terrible sleep habits then this is not Chat Noir but Jake from State farm
If you are Hawkmoth then press 5 and the police will be notified, also if you are hawkmoth this is not Chat Noir, this is your imagination and you have not texted anyone woooooooooo
If you are Tikki and wish to talk to Plagg then he says text a cheese emoji
If your message is not any of the above then press 42 and type what your message actually is.
Thank you for messaging Chat Line and I will get back to you as soon as possible
(5:50pm)
Wtf chat what is that message? I know ur there bc u had to have been there to actually send it. But fine. 2.
(5:53pm)
You have selected 2 for pun related, what is the message you would like to get across about puns?
(5:55pm)
What are u doing chat pls stop
(5:56pm)
#CANT STOP WONT STOP
(5:59pm)
Smashing this phone over ur head is sounding more and more tempting by the second…..
(6:01pm)
I thought i was ur friend and u cared about me and other sentimental words!
(6:03pm)
As ur friend I regret everything about this conversation and this friendship
(6:06pm)
BETRAYAL!
Sunday 15th April 2018
(1:03am)
Ok I get that u were mad but was that any reason to throw me in the seine?