Chapter 5

To the guest who can not be named- thanks, not really a very helpful review, but I'll address it just the same. I thought the story concept was obvious (it is after all rather cliche') Harry is sent back in time as something broke so that JK Rowling's story could not occur (James and Lily never got together). You'll have to read the story if you want to know if he succeeds and how the premise develops into a plotline. Or if you think it has no concept, feel free not to.

Sakura Lisel- Sorry it mustn't have been clear but by late he means, not in first year rather then late as in two weeks into the school year as yes he definitely remembers seeing them arrive, it was the impetus for some of his development after all. They're method of arrival is explained to the gang in chapter 3 (I think, at the quidditch pitch) the lie being told is that it was a hastily made portkey set to the wrong location Hogwarts instead of Hogsmeade, combined with accidental magic, the lights being from breaking through Hogwarts wards (the last might not have been explained explicitly). I'll go read over that first chapter and see if I can re-word it to make it clearer, I have a couple of other little edits to add in as well. Thanks heaps for your review.

SapphiRubyCrys- Thank you it's always lovely to hear that someone has enjoyed reading my story. Oh I haven't read Fire EMblem Awakening (that I can remember I do read a lot of fanfiction, but who doesn't) will be going to read it now.

Harry was in the library still trying to catch up on work left over from the start of term. He felt like he had been sitting in the one spot for a year. The completed work sat in a pile to his left, and the books for the three essays he still had to write (all for potions) were stacked to his right. Lily was sitting at a table not far away, having wandered in some time after lunch and Harry had been staring at her unashamedly ever since, he couldn't help it. In the future Remus and Sirius had told him a bit about his Father but he had heard barely anything about his Mum, and so he stared. A dark haired boy entered the library and instantly noticed where Harry's gaze fell.

"She's too good for you Potter," he snarled, quietly enough that the girl wouldn't hear, as slipped into a chair at a table not far away.

Harry looked over at the boy and was not too surprised to recognise a seventeen year old Severus Snape, "The names Claybaker not Potter, but thanks for the advice."

Harry turned back to the essay he was writing. Half an hour later he stretched and looked over at the other boy. Snape's lank hair was hanging across his face, and his lips were twisted in concentration as his quill scratched away at the parchment. Despite what Luna had said (and well Harry wasn't as confident in believing Dumbledore would give him the whole story anymore, the man might have had good reasons for keeping his secrets but in the end the horcrux hunt would have been much shorter if he had shared the information and those secrets cost him Sirius), Harry was having difficulty overcoming Hermione's adamant 'not to be seen, not to change things' rule, there weren't too many times when the bookworm had lead him wrong. Still, here was the perfect opportunity to change things. Sure Severus was a git, nothing would change that but he didn't deserve to die the way he had, not after all he had done to help. He clearly didn't believe the ideals that Voldemort espoused or he would never have been a spy. So the question was, when did it change? Did it change twice? That seemed plausible without Lily as a moral anchor had he been swayed by the promises of power only to become disillusioned by them with her death. Could that be changed by the simple act of forgiveness? Was it worth a try? If he deliberately took this action was Harry any better than Dumbledore had been, interfering in other people's lives. Harry looked at his notes briefly, well if they were allowed to make changes… His mother might get her friend back and maybe Snape would be less bitter and that was a positive outcome for everyone…..right? Mentioning it shouldn't be too much meddling should it? After all then it was left up to them, they both might be completely opposed to the idea, and if they were there was nothing Harry could do about that.

He took a deep breath to dredge up some Gryffindor courage.

"Snape? Isn't it?" Harry asked softly not wishing to draw anyone else's attention. Snape looked up, surprised that there was no derision in the voice.

"Yeah."

"I hear you're good at potions. Is that true?"

"Yeah." Well he's just as chatty now as he is in the future Harry thought. Internally shaking his head at the dour man, breaking through that cold exterior would be a lot of hard work.

"Could you give me a hand on an assignment? It's catch up work from the start of the year. I can give you a hand with something else if you require? I'm pretty good at defence."

Snape thought for a moment, "I do well in defence. I doubt here is anything you can offer me."

Harry resisted the urge to smile, "Not even a chance to reconcile with Lily? I could mediate for you."

The change in Snape's attitude was immediate. "You know nothing," he sneered sending spittle flying, as he hurriedly stood stuffing his parchment and quills haphazardly into his bag then stalking away. Robes flapping wildly in his haste. Harry smiled, clearly he hadn't perfected the perfectly billowed cloak yet.

Lily turned towards the disturbance and noticing Harry sitting by himself for the first time, moved over to share his table.

"Don't let him upset you," she advised in conciliatory tone, wrongly assuming that Snape was the aggressor.

"Who Snape? He doesn't bother me. Not the happiest of fellows is he though?" Harry shrugged.

Lily shook her head sadly, "He used to be a bit happier, when we were friends."

That sealed it, her sad face was enough to break his heart, Harry would try to resolve the issue between his Mum and Snape (well at least he would encourage her to try, which was all he could really do), if the future turned out to be unchangeable then the least the man deserved was to know he had been forgiven and it might bring his mum some happiness.

"So why did you stop? Being his friend that is." Harry had always wondered, he had heard his mum was nice to everyone so why wouldn't she forgive her longtime friend for a single slip of the tongue.

"He insulted me," Lily said bluntly, as if that explained everything. Ok, Harry wondered if she had been mortally offended or if she was just a sensitive soul. He would have thought that living with Petunia would have made her tougher maybe that particular insult carried more weight in this time.

"If I stopped being friends with someone every time I was insulted," he said (thinking of Ron after his name came out of the Goblet of fire). "I wouldn't have any friends left." Harry didn't want her to feel like he was condoning the insult but wanted her to see that there was possibly another side to the story. "I assume he was upset at the time and took it out on you? He seems the type."

Lily nodded, "It was more than that, it's what that insult represents. He always told me that it made no difference who my parents were. I think he was lying. It became worse as the years went by. For many years he seemed to treat me as the exception, when he was around the friends from his house he call others with the same heritage as me that name. He started hanging around people I was sure would become Death Eaters and I could see our friendship slipping away the more he became involved with them. I thought if I stood by him then maybe I could keep him from making a terrible mistake. I tried to get him to see that people are people regardless of their blood type, I really did. He always agreed with me to my face but over the years I began to think he was merely humouring me. One day it all blew up. It was towards the end of our OWLs, Potter and Black were picking on him, they used to be right gits. I tried to help him," she grimaced as the scene played out in her mind's eye, "and that's when it happened. He has tried to apologise, he said he didn't mean it and he seemed genuinely sorry but…"

"So he turned his fear and humiliation into an attack on you. You felt betrayed, and weren't ready to forgive him when he asked and told him to bugger off, leading to the end of your friendship?" Harry surmised, Lily nodded. "First of all, it wasn't ok for him to take it out on you, regardless of what James and the others were doing to him, so you had every right to be upset. Do you know why he hangs around them?"

Lily shook her head. "He didn't have a great life at home. His dad drank a lot," she gave Harry a significant look and he remembered the nights Vernon used to come home, after having stopped by the pub, with a shudder. "And let his temper get out of hand. As a child I know it made him feel powerless that he couldn't defend himself or his mother. I heard a rumour that she passed away just this summer at his father's hand and Sev was there." Harry could tell by the look on her face that she still cared for her old friend. "I think he is seeking power so he won't ever be put in that position again."

"You could be right. I could see after that small discussion I just had with him, the loss of your friendship is still affecting him. Do you really think he meant it?"

Lily closed her eyes slowly, "I don't know, when we were younger, I don't think he would have meant it. But now it's hard to tell."

"Did he ever tell you what it's like down in the dungeons?"

Lily nodded slightly, "He said they are always talking like that. He had a hard time because he's a half blood. They picked on him for being my friend, it got worse after third year, any number of them told him to stop being my friend. I think they used to hide his books and steal his homework" She covered her mouth, "Oh, I should not have told you that! He wouldn't like it if he knew I had said anything."

Harry stifled a laugh, at a memory that was brought to the fore as her words echoed Hagrids. "So do you think he has been saying stuff like that to fit in? Or do you think he has been, sort of, you know brainwashed into believing it?"

Lily sighed sadly, her eyelashes glistened, "I just don't know?"

You could try asking him?"

She shook her head, "It's too late now. Even if he didn't mean it, and doesn't think that way. It wouldn't change anything."

"Would it give you some peace to find out? Because there is no harm in asking?"

"What does it matter, it's not like we could be friends, they never liked him before so they would never accept him now. Not with everything that's going on."

"Why are you letting them decide what you do. They don't have to accept him; they just have to accept that you do. Whether they accept him or not is not important. What is important is whether or not you trust him enough to let him back in your life, which will depend on what he says to you. Is the friendship you once had worth the risk. You never know you might just be able save him still." Harry's green eyes looked into her matching ones.

Lily stared at him for a long moment, before turning back to her assignment. Biting her bottom lip as she thought over what the messy haired boy had said.

Hours later having finally abandoned the library, Harry was sitting leaning against the beech tree feeling accomplished. It had been a long day trapped inside but he had finally finished all his work and with Lily's gentle encouragement even read ahead in potions. It was amazing how much easier it was to understand when someone actually took the time to explain it to him.

He looked towards the Forest and couldn't help remembering the last time he had walked through those trees surrounded by his family.

The silence broken only by the crack of twigs breaking under his feet, tucking his wand and cloak away and stepping into the clearing, the cry of Hagrid, green light, sharp nails on his chest, the feel of Hagrid's arms as he was carried back to the castle. He could see the dead lying around him, smell the spilled blood.

Harry could feel his heart racing and his breath becoming erratic, but there was nothing he could do to slow it down as the full force of the panic attack hit him. His thoughts crashed inside his brain.

What if they couldn't change anything and everyone died anyway? What if they changed things and more people died? If they saved Lily and James but did not defeat Voldemort then he would be too strong and instead of a ten year break between wars it would continue and thousands would die, what if…

The world was closing in around him, black spots appeared before his eyes as his breathing became even more rapid, heart beating so hard it felt like it was going to break right through his ribcage. His distress did not go unnoticed. A red haired girl had wandered up to his resting place, she had been meaning to spend some time contemplating the all the changes that the two newcomers had bought with them. Her thoughts were disrupted by the harsh wheeze of his rapid breathing.

"Harry…. Breath…. Harry," a calm voice, cool fingers touched his shoulder.

"Harry!" the voice grew more urgent now.

He had reached a point where he thought his heart was going to stop altogether and his throat constricted and stomach clenched tight. Harry turned away from the voice and vomited onto the grass. Lily vanished the mess as she knelt down beside him. Conjuring a cloth she wet it with a quick aguamenti and wiped the sweat from his forehead, it provided a cool counterpoint to his hot skin.

"Harry, you need to breathe slowly. In….Out…..In…." gradually Harry managed to bring his breathing under control again and opened his eyes. The big green eyes watching him were full of tears.

"Thank God! Harry, you had me worried." Lily drew him into a hug.

"Sorry," tucking drawing his knees to his body he wrapped his arms around them and buried his face refusing to meet her gaze, unwilling to see the pity he knew would be there.

"There is nothing to apologise for, but I think you need to talk about what happened." She rubbed circles on his back.

Harry shook his head adamantly "No!"

"Harry, if you bottle it up, you will have more attacks like this." She reasoned as she watched him carefully.

Luna and Remus had both said he should talk but… "I'm not weak!" he muttered.

"Seeking help isn't weakness Harry," Lily chided him.

"Luna doesn't need help," he grumbled.

"Luna's different," Lily conceded. "She deals with things differently to the way you do. She is not you! Besides I get the feeling she doesn't carry quite the same burden you do, and you help her with her troubles. You're carrying your load and hers, let some of it go Harry."

Harry sighed, "I see dead people, everywhere. All those we couldn't save. Sometimes they are lying on the ground just as I saw them that night, children with their throats ripped out, friends lying like they were asleep but oh so still and unmoving. Other nights they come up to me in anger, screaming out that I didn't save them, asking my why. Why am I still alive! I could have sacrificed my self s…..I should have tried harder, if only I was better, faster if I just…" he placed his fisted hands over his eyes, trying to dam the threatening flood of tears.

"Harry," her voice was soft and soothing in his ear, her hand warm on his back, her head a comforting weight on his shoulder, grounding him. "You can't save everyone, we are facing war, people will die. You can't carry the weight of them all." Her voice was sorrowful, on some level she knew.

"But…."

"No Harry," her voice was firm as she hugged him into her side. "You are a wonderful man, your parents and the Grangers would be so so proud, but they would want you to live and not spend your life worrying about what ifs and if onlys. You are only just becoming an adult. Harry you don't have to save the world." She took a deep breath. "Harry, I've never told anyone this. I was with my parents when they died Harry." Harry's breath caught in his throat, he'd never heard anyone speak of his grandparents before, Lily noticed and thinking he was beginning to panic again resumed rubbing his back. "They had picked me up from the station at the end of the year, traffic was terrible. We were halfway home when it happened. A semi travelling too fast swerved to miss a piece of rubbish that was lying on the motorway, it clipped our car pushing it into the next lane. I ….I...don't remember much just loud bangs and pain. Then a nice man, telling me to stay calm, help would be there soon. My magic saved me Harry, but not Mum and Dad. After leaving the hospital I had to move in with Tuney, she blamed me of course. After all if magic saved me why hadn't it saved Mum and Dad, I asked myself the same question. I still feel guilty sometimes, but I know they wouldn't want me feeling guilty or not living my own life. What I'm trying to say is it gets easier as time goes by. It might not ever go away but it does get easier." Lily stood up abruptly, "Now I'm not leaving you out here to mope, up you get, you're coming inside to get cleaned up."

She grabbed him under his arm and hauled him to his feet.

"Thanks Lily." Harry muttered. Lily kept her arm around him as they walked back to the castle. If only she knew, he thought as he allowed her to lead him away.

Harry went to bed exhausted while the rest of the seventh years and Luna were still talking in the common room.

"What's going on between you and Claybaker Lily?" Peter asked slyly, he had been holding this in until they were all present and couldn't wait for James to explode.

"Nothing," Lily frowned wondering what his point was. She had never felt completely comfortable around Peter, he always seemed to be watching her and it made her skin crawl.

"I saw you giving him a hug under the beech tree," Peter watched James' face which remained passive.

"Oh that," Lily said with a shrug and she told the group how she had seen him sitting under the tree, looking pale and barely breathing, before he had thrown up. Luna wandered over to the group and slid onto the floor to sit beside Lily.

"He is haunted by the ghosts of his past," Luna supplied sadly.

"More like he was angling for some physical contact with Evans if you know what I mean," Peter waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Eww! Definitely not!" Lily denied. "Don't get me wrong he is a nice boy but...just... no." The thought was somewhat mortifying. Luna giggled at Lily's response, imagining telling Harry about the conversation.

Seeing he hadn't gotten the response he was after Peter tried a different attack, "So Luna, What ghosts does he have in the past, who did he kill then?"

Luna merely tipped her head to the side "Hmm, you seem to have a massive Nargle infestation, you should really get that seen to." She moved to begin plucking the invisible creatures from around his head but he drew back from her with a disgusted expression on his face and slapped her hand away.

"Ow!" Luna winced. "Well I suppose it must be Nargle breeding season then!" she said as she stood up, rubbing her hand as she made her way to her dormitory.

"They are up to something," Peter whispered as he watched her go. "I bet they are Death Eaters."

"First of all Peter, if you ever lay a hand on that girl again I will hex you into tomorrow," Lily said. Peter took note of the fierce expression on her face and nodded mutely. "And stop being so ridiculous, Luna is too sweet and Harry is to too….well…." Lily struggled to find a description. "Potter-ish... for them to be Death Eaters. What?" she asked as Sirius swallowed a chuckle.

"Potter-ish?"

"Yes, you know, Potter-ish like a Potter," she explained as if they were slow. With a huff she added, "Well James would never be a Death Eater would he?"

James blushed- when had she started calling him by his name! And why hadn't he noticed!

"And that's why they are, because they appear not to be, it's the perfect disguise," the small boy justified.

"I still think that you're being ridiculous, come on James we have a patrol to do." Lily stood and offered James her hand. She attempted to pull him into standing however her diminutive size was something of a disadvantage and wondering how she had managed to get Harry to his feet earlier she gave up in huff. James laughed as he jumped up and followed her through the portrait hole.

"So you aren't interested in young Harry then?" James asked her, trying to appear nonchanlent, as they paced the halls.

"Young? Do you really think so, I think he is older than any of us, but to answer your question no."

"And why not?" James pressed. "He looks like me so he must be handsome enough."

Lily frowned, "I like him well enough, just not in a romantic way I guess. When I saw him out there today, I just felt like, I should be…I don't know…taking care of him, or something."

"You pity him?"

"Maybe a little, it's got to be hard, he's lost not only his real parents, but his foster parents too, it doesn't sound like he had much of a childhood. He seems to be able to see the good in anyone, he even tried to convince me to talk to Severus."

"He what?" James was shocked, maybe Peter was right about the boy.

"He asked why we had fallen out? Harry gave me a lot to think about. I'm not sure what Severus was thinking that day, is he really a follower of Voldemort or not. He suggested that forgiveness from me might give Sev an option apart from becoming a Death Eater. Harry seemed to understand that Sev didn't have the greatest childhood and that could possibly force him down that path."

James was quiet, "Do you like Sniv…Snape?"

Lily laughed, "He was a good friend, my first wizarding friend. He introduced me to this world, but he also lied and said that having Muggle parents didn't matter. A true friend would have warned me, though maybe he was trying not to scare me off. I don't know. I miss him though, so I'd at least like to find out."

James looked at the ground as he walked, "If you miss him then you should try and talk to him. I was always so jealous that he had you as a friend, that's one of the reasons we used to be at loggerheads all the time."

Lily's eyes narrowed and then she arched an eyebrow, "So if I become his friend again are you two going to re-enact the prank wars of the past?"

James sighed and tucked his hands into his pockets, "No. As your friend I want you to be safe and happy, and if he makes you happy and doesn't jeopardise your safety, then I guess that is enough. I don't have to like him or be his friend, but I won't try and stop you."

Lily stopped walking and stared at James, with a smirk she said, "Who are you and what have you done with James Potter?"

James chuckled and shrugged, "Just growing up I guess."

Lily reached over and gave his arm a squeeze, "About time, and I must say, maturity looks good on you."

"By the way what I said before doesn't mean I won't keep an eye on him and if he hurts you in anyway, there'll be repercussions."

"Oh look, there's the James I remember!" Lily laughed.

James was still smiling as he made his way into his dormitory and let himself fall backwards onto his bed.

"So what has put that dopey look on our Jamie's face this evening?" Sirius asked.

"2 Knuts says Patrols with a certain redhead went well," Remus offered.

"No bet there," Sirius agreed. "What happened? Did you kiss her?"

"No!" James denied.

"You know we won't hear the end of it until he gets it off his chest, so we better just ask," Remus whispered to Sirius, who groaned.

"Go ahead then Prongs, tells us what happened," Sirius flopped onto his own bed.

"She gave me a compliment" James said with a smile.

"She's just lulling you into a false sense of security and then she is going to throw you over for Harry," Peter warned seriously. "I honestly don't know how you guys got sucked in…"

"What is it with you and the whole Harry-Evans conspiracy anyway Wormy?" Sirius rolled onto his side to ask the boy.

"Nothing, I've just seen the way he stares at her, then they are all chummy, and I know what I saw going on underneath the Beech tree today. I don't know why you guys don't believe me!"

Remus thought for a minute," I know what you mean about the stare, but..."

"See," Peter stuck out his chin.

"Hold on, let me finish," Remus continued. "It's the same way he looks at Prongs, almost like he is afraid they will disappear at any moment and he is trying to commit every detail to memory."

"He doesn't look at me like that! You guys are hallucinating. And Peter, lay off with the Death Eater accusations," James snapped as he made his way into the bathroom a towel slung over one shoulder.

Harry standing just outside the dorm door, let out the breath he was holding, he didn't mind Peter accusing him so much, it made it obvious that even at this early stage he was pulling away from the rest of the Marauders, even if he hadn't joined with Riddle yet. It might have been a bit harsh but he had no real desire to save the boy. Besides if he didn't interfere then the opportunity would be there to meet Tom on that Halloween night four years into the future.

Sitting in the library studying Lily could feel the eyes upon her. Not the creepy ones that made her skin crawl but the cool emotionless ones, she was sure that mask hadn't been in place when he was younger. It had been happening more often since she had become friends with James.

Friends with James! Now wasn't that a weird thought. Who would have thought it possible? Sure he had become much more tolerable during sixth year, leading to her hate diminishing to dislike, but since Harry and Luna had appeared he had grown to become a whole new person. Well, not completely new, he still had a penchant for mischief as demonstrated by that last prank. They had charmed all the carved pumpkins in the hall to sing the school song and then cough up sweets at the end of the Halloween feast, but it was funny and no one got hurt or humiliated. Yes she liked the new friend she had gained and with the friendship James no longer followed her around like a lost puppy and wasn't that a relief as well.

Lily turned and looked, yes as she had suspected he was sitting at a desk not far away, he'd ducked his head as she looked around. Making a decision she checked that no one else was watching, it wouldn't do for his friends to see, stood and walked over to him.

"Hi," she said shyly not quite sure how the reception would be, his head snapped up to look at her.

"H..h..hi," he stammered in surprise unable to hold his mask like expression. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you."

"A bit late now, don't you think?" he snapped in his shock on the defensive as he expected her to verbally attack him. "After all the times I tried to apologise."

Lily bit her lip and looked down at the floor she had hoped that he would be a little friendlier, "I'm sorry I wasn't ready to hear it back then."

"Why would you bother now?" he hissed, eyes flicking round the room before settling on her once he was sure no one else was about.

"I need to know," she looked into his dark eyes. "I need to know if you meant it! What you said that day. I need to know if you meant it when you called the others that name."

He couldn't help but answer her honestly, he let out a strangled "No," through a clenched throat. His emotions broke like a wave and could be seen on his face for the first time in years, "Never! Lily you don't know what it is like living in the dungeons, the scheming, plotting, everyone watching everyone else. To survive I had to be seen to be doing what they wanted. I tried to protect you as much as I could, they threatened to hurt you...I couldn't let them, so I said...and did what I had to." The honest regret clearly visible on his face made Lily wonder what he had had to do.

"I miss you," she whispered her peace offering. "I have for the longest time and I'm worried about you, and I know I have no right to be, but I still do, with Voldemort and all that's going on. This is our last year at school, and if we don't make up now something might happen and we might not get another chance and…"

"Lily!" Severus held his hand up to stop her, "You're rambling."

He noticed her blush, "What do your new friends think about this?" his sneer returned at the thought of her latest companions.

Lily shrugged, "James said he didn't care as long as I am happy."

"James!" Was this all a trick? Had that arrogant bast…. No Lily was too smart for that. Of course James had tricked her! His voice more harsh then he'd intended "Since when was he your friend! And you believed him! He is using you, he wants to take advantage of you."

This time it was Lily who raised her hand, "And if he does it's my mistake to make, you lost the right to have a say in it back when you called me that name."

"I am truly sorry," he looked down his anger fading to sadness. Lily reached over and squeezed his forearm.

"Forgiven," she smiled gently. "And I'm sorry too, that I didn't listen sooner."

"It won't be the same," he said sadly.

"No, few things ever are, well I had best get back to my books. See you around."

He sighed as he watched her go, unsure how he felt about what had just happened. On one hand at least the animosity was gone, on the other a deeper relationship was clearly off the cards and she was just as clearly attracted to Potter, though he doubted she even knew it yet, and that made him feel ill in the stomach. He noted she hadn't enquired whether he had actually joined the Dark Lord and his minions either, which made him wonder if she would still want to talk to him if she knew how close he had been to becoming one. With a groan he dropped his head to the table. He still had a year of living in the dungeons with almost of the entirety of his year already marked he didn't know how he was going to survive if he wasn't.

He watched as Claybaker came and sat down opposite Lily. It was strange how the boy looked so much like Potter that you would swear they were brothers. The boy had secrets Severus was sure, more intriguing ones then Lupin's had been in fifth year. It was puzzling how he knew about the fight with Lily, and that Severus' strongest subject was potions when he had only started this year, and his eyes! That one occasion where their eyes had met there was such a depth of emotion there that Severus had to turn away, sadness, empathy and something else…. was it admiration?

"I saw you talked to him," Harry commented quietly as he pulled out a chair and began unpacking his bag.

"I did," Lily confirmed.

"And?" came the prompt after a moments silence.

"He apologised and I accepted," she answered with a small smile. He seemed genuine and he said that he only talked about my friends that way because of the situation in the Slytherin.

"So that's good isn't it?" Harry asked. "Apart from the fact that he was or is being bullied in his own house."

"Yes. Though if it becomes known he's my friend again, I don't know what will happen." Lily hesitated for a moment before continuing "He said it won't be the same as it used to be."

"He's right," Harry nodded thoughtfully.

"I know it was silly of me but I had hoped we could find what we had."

"It's sad, but that's ok, you've had different experiences now, grown in different ways, but you'll always have the place where you started." Harry thought for a moment, "I'll tell you a secret, I had a girlfriend once. When we knew I was going to be targeted by Voldemort I told her we couldn't be together anymore, so that I could keep her safe. We got hunted, hurt and we had to fight, and we were constantly worried about everyone we cared about. During that time she also faced trials, though they were somewhat different. I saw her again just before I came here and realised that we had both changed, the things we had to do and the things that we saw changed who we are. We won't ever be together in that same way again. It's sad, but I wouldn't change it, I know that she's safe and that was why I left in the first place. Once you acknowledge that things have changed you can grieve for what you had and move on, who knows maybe what you will have, will be better."