I remember searing pain. Blood spilling from my chest. And then...nothing.

I remember nearly nothing of my life before.

But I remember stories of other lives. Heroes and villains alike of other worlds doing glorious battle.

Awfully specific memories, I know.

I stand up, look around a little and see a black and white wolf with red eyes.

|Uh… Good doggy?| I try to say, only for no sound to leave my lips. |Wait, what? OHCRAP!|

I hold my hands out protectively as it leaps, only for my hands to brush brick and the wolf to slam against the air a few inches from my face and rebound with a whine.

I blink.

I pat the air-bricks a few times in disbelief.

|But… I'm not even French!| I protest. |Wait, let's not get hasty, maybe my power is creating invisible brick walls.|

I hastily curl a hand into a fist with thumb, index and middle fingers sticking out. I wait for the wolf to slam off my barrier again before backing away from it, raising my hand to point at it's eye before dropping my thumb.

Instantly, a sharp 'crack' echoes through the woods and a hole appears in it's face. It drops instantly, dead as I stand there numb. After a second, I raise my hand to my lips to blow on my fingers.

|Bitch, I'm that fast food mime from Dr. Mcninja!| I proclaim.

I hear a growl from behind me and whirl, quickly moving my hand to grip at a invisible sword at my waist.

|Oh, fuck.| I groan, seeing a monochrome bear and two more wolves. |I'm about to be a very dead mime, aren't I?|

The Bear charges forward and I rush forward, 'drawing' the 'sword' as if I was performing a Iaido move.

Totally Monokuma freezes before starting to slide and fall apart, limbs falling to the ground and torso sliding diagonally apart to be specific.

|Oh, fuck the hell yes.| I grinned before turning to face a wolf. |Oh, fuck.|

Teeth ground into my stomach, shimmering energy intercepting and blocking them. I jam my invisible katana down between the eyes of the wolf before letting go of it, cocking a invisible shotgun and shooting the last wolf with a even louder crack.

|That...was my boomstick!| I cheer.

…

|Ow, that bite hurt.| I groan. |I need to get out of this place. Or get civilized people to find me…| There was nothing like a road around, though. And I couldn't think of a way to mime anything that would grant me flight.

Instead, I mime unstrapping a shield from my back and holding it in my left hand, then drawing a longsword. There's a noticeable weight in my hands, but they seem lighter than they should by all rights be.

I take actual stock of my surroundings.

Hm. I'm in a forest. Brown leaves are falling off the trees.

…

This tells me surprisingly little.

I drop the sword, snap my fingers and mime pulling out a cell phone and dialing 911. Probably. I hold it to my ear.

"Vale emergency services, fire, police, medical or more than one?"

I begin to speak without thinking about it. |I'm not sure, I'm lost in the woods.|

"...I see, sir. How did you get out there?"

|I don't know, I don't remember anything that happened last night.| Hurray for technica-What.

Hang on a second.

"Well, if you're outside of the borders of the city of Vale, I'm afraid that we cannot lend you any direct assistance. I recommend you climb a tree, look for the wall, and start heading in that direction. Would you like me to contact a Huntsman to see if I can arrange for help."

...They can hear me?! |Yes please.| I quickly say

"Please hold." Elevator music starts playing. I mime taping the phone to my head before miming a grappling hook and climbing up a tree carefully.

…

Bigass wall, 5 miles east of here, assuming that the sun is currently rising as it seems to be..

I slide back down the invisible rope just as the phone clicks. "Sir, where are you exactly?"

|West of, uh, Vale.| I say. |I'd guess 5 miles west. The forest I'm in is brown.|

"Ah, so in Forever Fall, then. Your number appears to be unlisted. Would you mind giving me your number so I can call you for updates?"

|No, but it doesn't have a number.|

"...Come again?"

|This phone doesn't exist.|

"...What?"

|I have the power to act like I'm using something, and make it partially real.| I say. |I don't have a actual phone-|

"...What's a phone? Do you mean a scroll?"

|...Sure, why not. Anyway, I don't have a actual scroll, only the one I'm currently pretending to call you on. I think when I hang up it'll cease to exist.|

"Uh...huh…" They sound lost.

|Also, I can't talk. I think I'm pretending to speak to the phone I'm pretending to call you on, and somehow that's actually working?|

I hear a very quiet "Why do I get all the weirdos…" before they resume normal volume. "...Aaaaanyway, someone will be in the woods to assist you soon. Uh...Bye!" Click.

…|Rude.|

I see another wolf scratching at the base of the tree I'm up. I mime cranking a crossbow, placing a bolt in it, and shooting it in the face, and immediately the black-and-white-and-red-all-over wolf dies.

|Hey, it's like a newspaper!| I joke.

…

Maybe I can use a megaphone, if the phone worked?

I hold my hand to a spot near my chin as if I was holding a megaphone. |/"HELLO WORLD!"/| I call out.

Huh, yeah, that worrrrr…

Ah, crap.

Black, white and red birds.

I try the shotgun again, only for it to seem to bounce off.

Ah, fuck.

Okay, quick, try miming something better.

… I pretend to wave a magic wand at them and one of them stiffens, slamming to the ground.

One down, five to g-CRAP!

I quickly mime an invisible box just in time to be pelted with feathers. I pretend to slide open a slit, then push a invisible shotgun out of it.

On my third shot, I get lucky, blasting a bird in the face. It goes down, eyes a gory mass.

On the eighth, I throw the shotgun away. My invisible box is holding, though feathers are starting to get lodged in it and block my vision.

I pretend to open a door in the box, pull a pin with my teeth, count off on my free hand, then throw a grenade. With a violent explosion, the mimed grenade takes out one more bird.

Three to go!

I slam the door to block the next barrage, but one feather got through, grazing my cheek and slamming into the inside of the box.

|Wrong move, poultry.| I snarl silently before pretending to open a box and assemble a sniper rifle. I slam open a new gun port before pushing the barrel of the invisible rifle through(it took a few tries to get the invisible length into the invisible hole(IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN)) and taking aim.

Apparently, a invisible sniper scope is just as good as a real one. I wait for a bird to fly into the crosshairs and fire.

Instantly, the bird explodes into a mess of feathers.

Four down.

I pull back the bolt on the rifle, aim again, and fire.

One left.

|Bawk-bawk, bitch.| I growl before firing and missing.

However, this bird seems to have had enough. It sends a baleful look in my direction before wheeling about and flying away as fast as it can.

|That's right! Run, you c-raven!| I cheer silently

"Huh, not bad, kid."

I whip around to see a grizzled, middleaged man with a sword on his shoulder in a nearby tree.

I lean down and pretend to scribble before holding up a invisible sign with very visible lettering.

[Who the hell are you, and why didn't you help?!]

"One, rude." He says. "Two, my name is Qrow. Three, I *did* help." He gestures with his sword and I see the trees surrounded with dead Monokumas and, uh… Dammit, I don't have a snappy thing to call the wolves. They're starting to evaporate. "I'm the Huntsman they sent. You're lucky I was in the area. I must say, though, your faunus trait is a little bit unusual."

[What's a faunus trait?]

"...You mean you don't… what the hell are you, high?"

[Not that I know of.]

"A faunus is a person with a single trait from a animal. You appear to have a zebra's hide covering almost all of your body."

I pause.

[Can you think of a way to mime a hand mirror?]

"...Pretend to pull something out, unfold it and study it intently at every which angle?"

Good enough. I do so, and after a minute,while the mirror itself remains invisible, it begins reflecting, too.

[...I look like a old timey movie.] I grumble-write. I note my striking golden eyes for later. My actual hair is black, and my skin is indeed covered in stripy black and white fur.

"Hey, what's your name, kid?"

[...Call me Blanc Lenoir.] I respond-write after a minute of thought.

"So, uh, I know you aren't mute. What's with the writing thing?"

[I kinda am. I'm also kinda not] I pretend to open a door in the box, then toss out a rope ladder and climb out.

Qrow simply hops down from his tree. "Real descriptive." He grunts.

|Jackass.| I grunt silently before writing. [For some reason, any time I try to speak, no sound comes out, but the objects I mimic can register it. It's how I made the call earlier.]

"That's...odd. Useful, in a weird way, but odd."

I glare at him.

"Anyway, kid, skills like yours...have you ever considered being a huntsman?"

[A what?]

"...A huntsman? You know, we hunt the Grimm?"

[Why would I want to hunt monster hunters?] I ask, confused by the stories I remember.

"...What? Uh...Grimm are the monsters, not the ones who hunt monsters."

[Uh, I'm sorry.] I quickly pretend to scribble. [I must have gotten addled by being hit on the head or something. Are you telling me that those bear things aren't called Monokuma, then?]

"...No. No they are not. They are called Ursa. The wolves are called Beowolves and the birds are called Nevermores." He sighs. "If you didn't know that, then I assume you didn't recieve any training, which means we have no idea how much potential you have."

[...That's nice. Where's the nearest road?]

[line]

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO DRIVE?!"

|/"No, but I'm good at pretending!"/|

I had set up a call with Qrow so I could speak like a normal fucking human being.

He was currently busy screaming.

I don't see why. We were only going, oh, 120 miles a hour?

As a side note, invisible items weigh less than they're supposed to, which takes some limits off things like cars. Like friction.

Somehow, we arrive at the airport without hitting anyone or anything.

"/|And they'll be expecting me?|/"

"No, but if you tell the asshole with white hair Qrow sent you, you'll get a chance." He says.

"/|...Ooookay then.|/"

"Aaaah! It's a clown! I don't float!" Some little girl with red and black hair says

…

I hate my life.

"A clown!" A yellow haired, busty girl says before giving me a evil look. "I've heard stories about pedophilic clowns, if you lay one hand on my sister…"

|I'm not-| I pause then scribble. In block capitals, the next sign says, [I'M NOT A FUCKING PEDO YOU BITCH] I pause long enough for it to be read. [And for your information, I'm a zebra faunus.] I fold my arms angrily, the invisible sign tucked in the crook of one elbow.

"...Oh my god Yang, he can write on air!"

"Oh yeah, wise guy!" Yang growls. "And if you aren't a clown, why are you doing something that silly?!"

…

[Because I'm a mime.]

"What's the difference?!"

[Mimes are French. Also, mimes are less silly and they don't talk. I literally CANNOT talk, by the way.]

"Then...You're mute?"

[Don't worry. I learned...sign language.]

…"I guess I can forgive you for looking like a creepy clown. But if you lay one hand on Ruby…" Yang growled before humphing.

"So… Uh, what's your name?" Ruby asked.

[Blanc Lenoir. You?]

"Ruby. Ruby Rose. I'd show you my weapon, Crescent Rose, but they insisted on putting it with the luggage." She pouts.

[Uh...that's interesting! What kind of weapon is it?]

"It's a scythe and it's a high-impact customizable load sniper rifle!"

[I understood 'scythe', 'high impact' and 'sniper rifle' but you lost me with 'customizable load'.]

"Eh, I-I guess you got the most important parts." She droops a little before brightening. "What's your weapon?"

[My imaaaaaagination.] I plant the sign and wave my hands in the air the way that you're supposed to when saying 'imagination' for a rainbow to appear. Either no rainbow appeared, or it was a invisible rainbow.

"That doesn't sound like a very good weapon."

[It is when you can shoot people, cut things in half, and block weapons with it.] I deadpan while writing it. [Here, I'll demonstrate. Someone try to punch me.]

"...Yang?"

"Yeah, sure why not. Always wanted to punch a clown." She rushes at me...and I respond by patting a invisible wall into existence between us, watching her fist slam into it… and just barely through it.

"...Ow." She groans, yanking her fist out of the wall and shaking her hand loose. "That kinda hurt." She grumbled. "What the hell was that?"

[Invisible wall. Staple of mimehood.]

"...Okay, that's weird, but kinda useful." She admits. "Maybe we'll end up on the same team!"

[You called me a pedophilic clown.]

"Yes, I did… I'm sorry." She grumbles.

I watch a guy stagger past us holding his stomach, then immediately pat a few walls into existence around us. Don't want to get caught in the splash if he heaves.

[Huh, that gives me a idea. Wonder if people can get drunk on invisible alcohol…] I write casually.

"Oh boy." Yang mutters. "Better watch out if you can. If Uncle Qrow found out about that, he'd either try to become your best friend or try to marry you."

"Don't be silly, Yang! Boys can't marry boys!" Ruby chirped.

Me and Yang share a deadpan look.

[You got this, or should I take over? I can provide some VERY interesting anatomical references.] I write-ask.

"...As long as you don't write anything blatantly untrue or anything I think I'll let you handle it. It should be hilarious." Yang admits. "A-and don't go overboard with the references! Don't corrupt my sister!" She humphs.

[Right. Now, Ruby, when two boys love each other very much…]

I launch into a detailed explanation, using as many euphemisms as physically possible, both for purposes of being less embarrassing and for purposes of comedy.

I take especial pleasure in using the word 'weapon' as one such euphemism.

I'm sure this won't backfire at all.

...Nope.