Hello guys, what's up? First of all, I'm brazilian. And, well, this is the first fanfiction I translate into English. So, there may be some slightly different expressions than they were originally, but I guarantee that I did my best to stay loyal to the original material. Remembering that I don't own The Thundermans, nor their characters. The show and the characters belong entirely to Jed Spingarn and Nickelodeon. This is just a fanfiction written for other fans non-profit, just for the sole purpose of entertaining.
I grew up watching Nickelodeon literally, and since then I've never stopped watching sitcons teens for quality, even after adulthood. And although I may be considered old in the age group of the fan base of The Thundermans, I love this show. There is a big depth in Max and Phoebe's relationship, which is my favorite part of the show, so I decided to explore it in a more mature tone. So, let me warn you that this duo-shot will deal with issues such as PTSD, and anxiety.
I know the chapters are giant, but the plot of each one of them is tightly closed so I would not see how to split. The first chapter will focus on Max, while the second, which will be a kind of sequel, will focus on Phoebe. (Note: the events of this chapter follow after "Banished!" And before "Thunder In Paradise").
Please leave your comments on what I think, I promise to read and respond to all of them. Without further ado, good reading!
[...]
"After The Thunder, Comes The Storm" - (Duo-Shot)
"Good people also do bad things, superheroes also make their own mistakes. And sometimes, they become their own villains. When Max and Phoebe lose the faith in themselves, the Thunder Twins will need to help each other to deal with their respective storms".
You'll Never Be Good Enough (Max Thunderman Centric \ Thunder Twins)
Three months. It's been three months ago since the Thundermans had been exposed, banished and recovered their previous lifestyle. Or, at least, almost. It's had been three months since Max Thunderman gave up on becoming a super villain, to become a super hero. It's had been three months since Max and Phoebe had been selected by the legendary Z Force. And despite all the evils, seemed like incredible the way the things were working out for the Thunder Twins.
Of course that, working together to keep their place in Z Force didn't seem like a very good idea at first. However, after much reluctance, the siblings learned to work together, which made them spend most of their time with training, which included daily patrols after every night. After all, they had put their own powers at risk for Hindeville, showing how committed they were to protecting the city they loved.
However, being a super hero wasn't an easy task. Phoebe knew that. She had spent all her life training to become the best super heroine of all. Max, in your turn, would discover in the most painful way possible that becoming a super hero after spending part of his life aspiring to be a super villain, would be difficult. Especially when the ghosts of his evil past insisted on haunting him.
- Max! You will not believe what I found out. - Excited, Phoebe stepped into Max's liar holding her tablet in her hands.
- Did you find out how annoying your voice is? Sorry, Pheebs. But that isn't shomething new. - He answered without take his eyes off the plant of a new gadget he was projecting.
- Of course not, jerk! - She exclaimed giving a light slap on the back of her brother, who consequently came to pay attention - I discovered that I finally gained my own public profile in the system of the League of Heroes. And guess what? Other heroes are already talking about Thunder Girl!
- A public profile? What is it?
- Oh, it's like your own page in the Hero League telling about your powers, your abilities, your latest rescues, and another things like this. It's the same as any another profile in the database, the difference is that other heroes can also comment on what they think of your work as a super hero. - Sliding the page directly to the part that most interested her, Phoebe stopped in the session where other heroes could comment what they were thinking about the work of Thunder Girl. Frowning with curiosity, Max began to read some coments aloud:
"That's is my girl, this deserves a selfie with a drone!" - Tech Rider
"Good job, Phoebe. Eleanor and I are proud of you." - Lucius
- Lucius? Who is Lucius? The ex-super villain asked with raised eyebrows, although Eleanor seemed to be a household name.
- Oh, that's Evan's real name. You know, the iguana guy, Veronica's tutor-boyfriend on Wednesdays... His superpower is to grow old slowly. Did you know he's fifty, and he has kids already?! This is a little...
- Strange and disconcerting? - Maximus replied, looking uncomfortable, this time with his eyes wide open.
- Yeah, something like that! - Phoebe nodded, until the Thunder Twins returned their attention to the comments:
- Prodigy girl, the heroic future of the Thundermans is in good hands. Hugs and and tickles from uncle Blobbin" - Blobbin
"Great job with King Crab, this really deserves a mustache." - Pause Girl
- That's a big bullshit. - Slightly jealous, Max turned his focus back on his project, causing his sister to roll her eyes and start laughing quietly.
- You're saying that because you want to know if you have a page too?
- Maybe... - He answered in an indifferent tone, trying to disguise his interest. However, it didn't work very well - I have? - Damn, his voice had come out too excited.
- I don't know, I only discovered mine a short time ago. But, I can see right now: "Search for Max Thunderman". - She said at the voice command. However, no results had been found. - Weird... Oh, I think I know what went wrong: "Search for Thunderman, Max." -
- And what is the difference, genius?! - Skeptic, he exclaimed.
- The last name always comes first, you should know that!
- Give me that here. - And before Phoebe could tell anything, Max had already plucked the tablet from her hands. - Unlike you, I know what really went wrong: "Search for Maximus Thunderman".
No results were found.
- Fine... "Search for Thunderman, Maximus..." - Softening your tone, Max commanded with his eyes closed, already aware that at any moment he would hear Phoebe say a sonorous:
- Ha! I told you! - And there it was.
- Don't celebrate, nothing came out the same way! - Annoyed, the Thunder Boy drew her attention to the fact that again, no result had been found.
- Sorry, Max. Apparently your page hasn't yet been released, but I'm sure it will be soon.
- Wait! - Confident, the named exclaimed pointing his index finger up - I still haven't researched with my ...
- You haven't researched with your what? - She asked when she noticed that he had interrupted his own sentence.
- Voice command, search for "Maximus Octavius Thunderman" ... - Phoebe knew how much Max hated his middle name. However, that didn't stop her from laughing hysterically at his unhappiness. - What? "Monica Rachel" isn't much better! - He fought back, making his sister's smile disappear quickly - Come on, search for Maxy ...
No results were found.
- Hm, whatever, it's just a page. I don't need this, I have...
- Two jobs?
- What? No! I have a lair, and a talking rabbit! - Again trying to disguise his jealousy, he returned the tablet to Phoebe with a shrug, clearly denoting his false indifference.
- Come on, Max. I said your page will be released soon, they should just be waiting a little.
- Waiting for what?
- I do not know, maybe ... Maybe they're waiting that you to have some more time with the cape! I received my cape a while ago, for example, and my page was released only now.
- Yeah, maybe ... But like I said, whatever, I don't care!
- Hey, that's my line! - Phoebe demanded her rights about the expression, remembering when this had been her quote in your unsuccessful attempt to conquer Oyster.
- I just think it's weird that don't have anything about me in the Hero League database. If even Evilman has a profile, how they dare do not have a profile for Max? They should have more respect for the future emperor of Maxlandia!
- Okay, first: stop talking about yourself in the third person, it's strange. Second, Maxlandia? You're no longer a villain, I thought you had given up on your plan to buy a island!
- Give up of Maxilandia? Of course not! - Max exclaimed indignantly, making Phoebe give a disapproving look to him. - Come on, Phoebe. It's not because I am a hero now, that I can't baptize an island, or an archipelago with my name!
- Oh, really? An archipelago? Okay, I'm going to ignore this for the sake of the nation ... And third: you have a profile in the Heroe League database, we all have. It just isn't accessible to the public.
- Great, and how do I access it?
- Did you hear what I just said five seconds ago? It's a private profile!
- I know, but someone should be able to access!
- Oh, yeah. All active members, or honorary members, or retirees of the Hero League, not forgetting the members of the council , have a special login that allows access.
- Interesting ... I think I'll need the tablet for another five minutes ...
- Max, you will not hack the Hero League database !
- And why not? I already invaded the SASS database before!
- I know, and that cost me a life of perfect school attendance! - Phoebe raged slightly exalted, regrouping yourself soon after. - Besides, you're a super hero now. And super heroes don'tt violate others firewall.
- Argh, that's enough, you won! I know I'm good now, but sometimes that's sucks. - Not wanting to hear another of his sister's motivational speeches, he yielded to her arguments.
- I want you to promise me you will not hack the Hero League database.
- Okay, I promise!
- Make the thunder twin swear! - To his surprise, the Thunder Girl had her finger stretched out, waiting for her brother's goodwill to seal the swear.
- The thunder twin swear? I thought you didn't take it seriously.
- Yeah, but apparently you do. So I will appeal to something that you respect.
- All right, Pheebs. I swear, trust me. - Finally, he also interlaced his finger with her finger with sincerity.
- Great. Now I'm going to study for the Spanish test, so do not disturb me! - Sensing a sense of accomplishment, Phoebe climbed the stairs back to her room, confident that her brother would keep his promise. After all, he was a superhero now, and she needed to give him his vote of confidence.
- Have fun, nerd! - Sarcastic, Max answered loudly enough for her to hear. And as unbelievable as it sounds, he really would fulfill his swear. However, that wouldn't stop him from doing everything he could to get that flea from behind his ear.
[...]
Restless in his lair, Max was still too intrigued by the fact that he didn't have a profile on the page of Hero League, to pay attention to Dr. Colosso's small talk. After all, he was a super hero now. And not just one, as he was being considered for Z Froce along with Phoebe. If your sister already had her own page, why did not he have yours? They were a duo, which meant they were both equally deserving. Or, at least, that's what he thought. So, the former super villain literally jumped out of his bed, and started doing some research on his computer.
But nothing had changed. There are no results for Max Thunderman. Or Maximus Octavios Thunderman, whatever. However, he remembered what Phoebe had told him earlier: veteran or retired members have private access to the Hero League database. And what were the retired superheroes he knew? Exactly, Thunderman and Electress. And thanks to the experience with Thundervan, Max knew that Hank's password could only be one: hamburger.
- Touché! - He exclaimed triumphantly, because that mean that he could use his father's login. Besides, he was still keeping his promise, wasn't he? After all, accessing the Heroe League database with a legitimate login, even without permission, was a quite different from hack a virtual domain. - Now let's see what the Hero League has to say about Max Thunderman ...
And typing his name into the database, he finally found a positive result for "Thunderman, Maximus". Without thinking twice, he opened the file bearing his name, revealing a profile similar to Phoebe's: information about his birthday, specifications about his powers, his grades on SASS, the day when received his cape, admission to Z Force, and another things.
Status: Active
Occupation: Super Hero - Training For Z Force
(Together With Phoebe Thunderman)
Super Villain (Previously)
Max couldn't avoide the smile at see his previous occupation. All right, he wasn't a super villain anymore. But knowing that the Hero League really regarded him as one, meant so much to him. But his joy lasted little. While he scoured more information about himself, Max found some files that have a confidentiality notice, being the most of them audio files.
- If they talk about me, then I have the right to know. - He concluded, while he was looking for his headphones in the desk - Colossus, did you see where I put my headphones?
- Sorry, Max. But they're being used at the moment.
- By whom?
- I'm training a new assistant, he need of privacy to make the more impontant calls. Teddy, don't forget to order my vegetables! - Exclaimed the evil rabbit to one of his plush bears, who, by the way, was dressing a suit.
- Why am I not surprised? - Maximus grunted, just rolling his eyes, while he was going to get his headphones back. So, even in the face of Colosso's decontextual protests, Max coldly ignored him and connected the headphones in the sound boxes to finally know what these audios were. After all, the curiosity was killing him. However, it would have been better if he had been content just with his curiosity. Cause, as the saying goes, the curiosity killed the cat.
"- Sirs, I've gotten the alert from you. I really hope it's something urgent, because I have important things to do. - Being short and objective, the Evelyn Kickbutt's voice sounded in what seemed to be a call.
- Good morning, Evelyn. And yes, it is urgent. I've been talking to some council members, and there's a subject that's been bothering us for days - Green Thumb pronounced itself.
- Then, tell me now, I haven't got all day long.
- It's about the boy, Max Thunderman. - Falcon Man said flatly.
- What about him?
- Forgive me for saying that, President Kickbutt. But you made a terrible mistake.
- A mistake? This is impossible! I've been holding the Hero League for years, and I've never made a mistake! - Perplexed with such slander, Kickbutt was outraged. - And what does Thunderman's son have to do with it?
- There's a first time for everything, lady . And we think this is yours: we don't agree like the fact that Max Thunderman won a cape.
- What? Why?
- Think with us, President Kickbutt. - Cautious, Iron Skillet pronounced itself for the first time - For years Max Thunderman called himself a super villain, committed several crimes, allied with the Villain League, and still served to Dark Mayhem. And after years being evil, just because in an outbreak of heroism he decides to turn against Mayhem, the boy gets a cape? This is a disrespect, I thought the cape was much more important than that
- Dark Mayhem was one of the greatest enemies of Hero League of all time, Iron Skillet. And even knowing that, Max Thunderman showed his loyalty to the Hero League by turning against him, even if this was his biggest and perhaps the only opportunity to enter into the Villain League.
- But it doesn't matter! Honestly, Evelyn. I didn't think that, as you said, after so many years presiding over the Hero League, you made such a hasry decision. Give a cape for Max Thunderman? For years to receive a cape was a symbol that a hero received for his good work and his good behavior. But that boy? He isn't worthy, he shouldn't have received an honor like that.
- I assure you the cape means as much as it meant before, Green Thumb. The boy is a super hero now, and he's committed to doing good. So, I don't care about his past, what interests me is what he will do from now on. And as far as I know, he's been doing a good job.
- Seriously, a good job? Even after made his family be banished from Hidenville?
- Max and Phoebe risked their powers returning to Hidenville to face Candy. And they did it because they love that city. And again, that is commitment. This is what super heroes do.
- All right, president Kickbutt. I understand that now Max Thunderman has decided to become a superhero. But you know what? I still don't trust him. Because one thing is certain: "a hero can even become a villain, but a former villain will never be a hero."
- Strange, I remember you didn't look bothered when we worked with Evilman. Am I wrong, Falcom Man?
- I wasn't bother with this because Evilman just did a job for us. And from what I remember, he didn't won a cape for it, much less was considered for Z Force.
- What?! Was Max Thunderman selected for Force Z? This is a joke, isn't it? - Green Thumb exploded, in a considerably more aggressive tone.
- Yes, Green Thumb. He was. Any problems? - Evelyn Kickbutt answered in a similar tone.
- Yes, I have many problems! Why haven't I been notified about it? I'll never approve this insanity!
- But I did! - She retorted immediately - Max and Phoebe did a good job saving Hidenville. So, I sent a recommendation to the Z Force and now the twins are fighting to keep their place in the category of teams.
- Phoebe, that's fine, she deserved it. In fact, it was all as it should be when only she had been selected. Big mistake, Directory. Big mistake.
- Gentlemen, I'm losing my patience. And I really don't know where you want to go, because complain about the boy isn't going to change my decision about the cape, or about the Z Force. Am I clear? - Clearly irritated by so many complaints, president Kickbutt decided to close the subject,or she would need to use her authority for it.
- You may not change your mind, Evelyn. But I'm not just talking about myself when I say that investing in Max Thunderman was a big mistake. You would be surprised at how many council members agree with me. If you want to keep that decision, fine. But I'm telling you: the boy is a shame to the Thundermans' legacy, he will never deserve the emblem he carries on his chest."
After he finished listening to the recording, Max dropped his headphones, with look completely stunned on his face. His eyes were still wide, while his mouth was so rigid that it was possible to draw a perfect scratch on the outline of his lips. Suddenly, a strange sensation begins to wrap around his stomach, something that slowly burns from his trachea to the apex of his throat.
- Maxy? - Colosso asked in a worried tone, with his two ears behind him.
- What? - He answered slowly, like if he had difficulty to speak.
- What happened?
- Nothing, why?
- Look at you, man. Looks like you've seen a ghost. - He noticed the fact that the boy was visibly pale.
- It must be the hunger, only the Phoebe's rice cakes don't even cover the hole in my tooth. I'm going to the kitchen, do you want something? - Lifting mechanically, Max headed himself for the ladder with only one purpose: to escape the conversation.
- Well, now that you mention it... I want some carrots with whipped cream.
- Sure, I'll bring some it. - And saying that, he left, leaving Doctor Colossus with the same worried expression on his face. Because for every time he'd ordered carrots with whipped cream, there wasn't a single time that Max didn't resplied how disgusting he thought it was. None of them.
After finishing down the stairs, Max was already in the living room when he felt that burning sensation only increase. His throat was on fire, as if he had swallowed a whole glass of pepper sauce. And as for his stomach, it's became heavier, as if at any moment he would weigh a ton. And behold, all the ex-super villain had time to do was run off to the bathroom, stumbling on his own feet, where he dumped all the content of his breakfast with tears of reaction, and not of emotion, trickling down on his face from his effort.
Still feeling the burning of his now empty stomach, Max only took a few quick breaths and washed his face with cold water. He needed to calm down. It should have just been something he ate, nothing too much. So, when he left the bathroom making sure there was no one around, he went back to his original plan to go to the kitchen, but that didn't stop him from bumping into Phoebe who was coming down the stairs at the very same moment.
- Hey, Max. You saw the ... Oh My God, what happened to you?
- Nothing happened with me, why?
- I don't know, but it looks like you just played a hundred tennis matches in a row. - Phoebe asked with a frown, her brother really looked terribly exhausted, mainly because only part of his hair was wet. And Max would never let his topknot stand that way, not even if he was stuck in a cell.
- For your government, if I had played a hundred matches myself, I would surely have won them all. - Max replied with his usual air of superiority.
- All right, Thunderslam. - The Thundergirl held her hands up, giving up, but that didn't stop her from noticing that Max's hands were shaking so hard when he opened the refrigerator door. - Are you sure nothing happened?
- Absolutly, Dweebs. Nowm if you've just filled me with your unsubstantiated questions, I've got more important things to do. - Running away again, Max picked up Dr. Colosso's carrots and headed straight for the entrance to the lair.
- KInd?
- Gifting the universe with my existence! - The ex-super villain replied as if it were obvious before sliding down the slide.
After that, Max didn't give a single sign of life until the time of the patrol. Sleep. Sleeping was all he needed, he thought. So, after delivering the carrots with whipped cream to Colosso, he ignored the rabbit's questions, put his eye shade, and went to take a nap. Max always loved to sleep. So, nothing better than a nap to make him feel brand new. After all, it wasn't an option. He needed to be fine.
[...]
When the night finally arrived, the Thunder Twins were already preparing for another patrol. Phoebe was ready, as usual. Then, she was waiting for her brother in the living room so they could leave. However, he was still standing in his lair, looking his reflection in the mirror, for some reason that didn't seem to be apparent.
- Max, I'm ready, hurry up! - The Thunder Girl screamed from the entrance to the lair, but Max didn't seem to hear it, since he continued looking at his reflection with the same intensity. But, not. He wasn't admiring his own beauty, as he usually did. In fact, he wasn't even looking at his own face. Instead, Max focused on his super suit, and the strange sensation that dressing him was teasing.
But that wasn't his official super suit. Since they were discovered, and consequently hiding the fact that they still had their powers, the Thundermans designed new costumes for Max and Phoebe to use on patrols. It was a totally black uniform, after all, they needed to be discreet. But still, there was something in that "T" that had been kept that for the first time made the ex-super villain not feel the urge to wear it. It made for the first time, Max felt that this was a trophy that he didn't deserve to display.
- Max! Did not you hear me calling you? It's been ten minutes since... Of course, it had to be. - Crossing her arms in understanding, Phoebe drew her own conclusions when she noticed that, as usual, her brother was standing in front of a mirror. - Look, I promise you: you can stay and venerable yourself as you want when we get back. But now, we have to go. - And, to Phoebe's astonishment, he didn't say a single word in reply, just shook his head and followed her out of the lair.
"This training for Z Force must be frying my neurons. - Max mentally notified himself, he couldn't remember any other time he had felt this way before. - "I just need a night's sleep, nothing that a good night's sleep doesn't solve."
[...]
When they arrived in the center of Hidenville, the Thunder Twins were only observing the avenue of a wasteland. The amount of trees that were there easily served as hiding place. Phoebe was aware of any suspicious movement, watching the surroundings with her binoculars. As for Max, well. He also had his own binoculars, but the boy simply couldn't be concentrate on any external factor since he had left the house, no matter how hard he tried it.
Squeezing his eyes with a unnecessary force, Max began taking some deep breaths according he felt his palpitations growing louder.
- What the hell is that? - He murmured to himself, feeling his legs begin to weaken.
Trying to ignore all these sudden strange symptoms, Maximus leaned against the trunk of one of the trees, and also began to watch the street with his binoculars. This would force him to focus on something else. But, to his surprise, do this only made the situation gets considerably worse:
"Everything you do, you are, is because you're afraid of failure. You think it's easier not to try, than to try and end up failing".
"Even after all the times you disappointed me, I always thought that deep down inside you, there was some good. Today made me realise; you really are just a bad person."
"Because, you know, usually just destroy things. You know, like destroy the Splat Burger, and my Z Force dreams!"
"Phoebe, I don't wanna to get into Z Force because you're great. Wanna getting because, we're both great, even it's not true."
And like a flash flood of bad memories, a series of bad thoughts began to emerge in Max's mind, literally a nightmare with open-eyed. And the more he tried to focus on the patrol, more bad memories began to emerge, as if something were simply preventing him from being there
A feeling. Affliction. Agony.
Max didn't know why or how he felt it, he just felt that he couldn't stay there anymore.
Feeling zoned with a series of dizziness that came and went, the Thunder Boy approached of Phoebe, who had no idea what was happening, calling her with all the strength he could muster to say:
- Phoebe. - He called her shaking her shoulder, but she didn't answer. - Pheebs. -He tried again, this time, shaking her harder. But all she did was replied with a gesture asking him to stop. - Phoebe ... - Max called her one last time, this time her voice being nothing more than a whisper. Every passing minute only made him feel worse, the cold sweat running down his temple only fed the sensation that his heart could come out of his throat at any moment.
- What is it, Max? - I swear if you go to show me another stone that looks like Colossus, I'm going to... - Phoebe finally turned, impatient. She knew the brother she had, so she had mentally prepared herself for whatever bullshit he wanted to show her. But, she cut off her own words, when she noticed how pale her twin suddenly seemed to be - Max? - She exclaimed worried.
- Phoebe, I-I ... I need to go, sorry. - Stumbling on his own words, Max raised up awkwardly, he was even more dizzy than he imagined. But, that didn't stop him from stagger as fast as he could to get out of there. He knew the questions would be inevitable later, but he was willing to avoid them as much as possible, at least for now.
- Max! Hey, wait! Max! - Phoebe started calling him as soon as she saw him running wild. But, the more she called his name, the faster he seemed to run. The young heroine noticed that Max was staggering, it wasn't necessary to use the thunder sense to know that something was wrong. However, when she raised up to follow him, she heard screams across the street: two men were about to steal the grocery store. - Damn. - Reluctantly, she put on a mask and started walking as fast as possible toward the grocery store, though she couldn't stop thinking in what could have happened to make his brother run out like that
"He's fine, shouldn't be anything serious." - She thought, trying to be optimistic. - "After all, it's Max, it must be just one of his weirdness, isn't it? I really hope he's fine..."
[...]
In he next morning, Max woke up with the sunlight invading his lair, what made him grumble something inaudible to himself. Last night he had forgotten to put his eye shade, all he remembered it was taking a cold shower, picking up some aspirin in the drawer, and throwing himself on the bed holding his own head in his hands. In fact, the throbbing headache, dizziness, and tachycardia had passed, at least for now. But that feeling, that damn feeling that something was still wrong, remained there. Or rather, the feeling that he was wrong.
- Max? - The Thunder Girl asked softly as she entered the lair.
- Pheebs? Argh, your ugly face is the last thing I want to see in the morning. - He answered in his usual tone, making her roll her eyes in response.
- Good morning for you too! - She replied, coming closer with her arms crossed, completely ignoring the previous comment.
- Well, since you interrupted my beauty sleep, may I know what you're doing here? - He knew exactly why she was there. But, pretend that he didn't know what it was about, seemed to be the only plausible option at the moment.
- What do you mean, with what do I do here? Max, yesterday you literally ran off in the middle of our patrol paler than a sheet of paper! Besides, when I arrived you had already slept, and you're always the last to go to sleep. I, I was worried ... - She admitted, shrugging softly.
- First of all, there are several shades of paper, so your argument is totally refutable. - Again, the Thunder Boy was desperately trying to deflect the subject - And second, I ... I ... - But, there was no escape, he would have to tell the truth. Unless, he didn't say - All right, Phoebe, I confess! I left you in the middle of our patrol because I wanted to watch the special wrestling with the Colosso!
- What? Max! How could you?
- What? It was the fight of the century, I couldn't miss it! I mean, the second fight of the century, the first one you made me lose because of that stupid pajama party ...
- I can't believe you did it, I thought you had committed yourself to being a superhero!
- But I did, it was just a slip! Come on, Phoebe. I've been a super villain for a long time, it takes time for all the evil to get out of my system. My body still tries to deny that I do good actions. - Trying to sound convincing, Max sounded as relaxed and regretfull as possible, if it was possible to merge such different behaviors.
- All right, I'll let this one go. But only this time, because you were honest! Two guys tried to rob a grocery store yesterday, without you I ended up having the double of work. Nothing I couldn't solve, of course. - Like your brother, Phoebe would never miss the opportunity to praise your own deeds. - But see if you will not let me alone in next time...
- Wow, was there an attempted assault? Great, interesting things only happen when I'm not around. - He grunted sincerely. Yes, indeed. Patrol nights used to be usually tedious.
- That's what you get for abandoning your sister for a stupid fight ...
- I told you I'm not going to screw it all anymore, okay? I promise.
- Great! Our next field will be the square, so we need to be very attentive.
- Which of the thousand?
- Oh, damn, I have to see this, I forgot that Hindenville has a lot of them ... - She realized the size of the pleonasm that was to live in a place where there literally more than thousand squares - Anyway , be ready for tonight. We'll leave at the same hour, as usual.
- No, Pheobe, wait!
- What's now?
- Could we suspend the patrol? At least for today?
- What? Why? Max, are you going to have another wrestling tournament tonight? Because if this is it, no chances of ...
- No! Is not it...
- Then I could know why? - She demanded, folding her arms authoritatively.
- I, argh ... I just have a throbbing headache that's killing me, I wanted to get some rest. Sometimes you exaggerate with these patrols and all the training, you know? Take it easy, Pheebs.
- Oh ... Well, huh. I think it's okay if we take a day off, it's been a while since I've been out with Cherry and the girls.
- Great, finally some peace and rest! At least, I will not need to seal the lair this time.
- Do you want some aspirin, or something?
- What?
- Your headache, you said it was killing you.
- Oh. No, it's all right, I've got some here in the drawer. What doesn't seem to be giving much effect, but, it's better than nothing. - And again, even if unconsciously, Max was being honest.
- Okay, so enjoy your day of laziness. But don't get used to it, because it is not every day!
- Can bet, I will!
[...]
After that day, other days has passed. Day after day, week after week, time after time. And how much more time passed, more Max Thunderman felt worse every time he put foot out of the home on his way to a patrol, or a mission. And sometimes, it wasn't necessary to leave the house for that the same mixture of uncomfortable sensations began to disturb him. Because only the thought of having to face another day, meant another opportunity to fail.
"Okay, it's just another patrol, just one day like any other." - That was the mantra the ex-super villain repeated daily to himself - "Just a few more hours, and we'll be home again." - Supposedly, this thought should reassure him. Should. Because, although he tried, Max couldn't stop to think about in what he more wanted to forget:
"Just a few hours. But in a few hours, a few things can happen ... And if any criminal appear? We take care of it, of course! We... And if Phoebe is impaired? And if only depends on me? I can handle this on my own, dammit. I'm Max Thunderman! ... I'm Max Thunderman ... I have a cape, and I was selected by Z Force... I have a cape, but no one thinks that I deserved it. I was selected for Z Force, just because Phoebe is my sister ... But they're wrong, I'm a super hero now, I can do anything, can not I? I'm good at it, I'm very good, I'm amazing! I, am I good?... I have to be, but this isn't enough. Yeah, I'm good. But I'll never be good enough. "
No, this wasn't a mantra. But it was also the kind of thinking that raced through his mind every day, like a torture with appointment time, that never dared to be late. But Max couldn't do nothing about it. He couldn't ask Phoebe any more time, not without him needing to explain. And he didn't want to explain himself, especially because himself wouldn't know what to say, or how to say.
So, every day they followed the same pattern: always silent, Max said only half words when Phoebe and he were going on a patrol, because he was always too busy with his own anxious thoughts about things that would hardly happen, but that only a small chance of it happening, was enough to drive him crazy. And on the way back, though nothing extraordinary had happened as expected, the silence continued, because all he could do it was be concentrate on the irregular beats for his heart that those damn paranoid thoughts always caused him.
And although she noticed the strange and recent behavior of her brother, Phoebe didn't ask him about it. Of course, Max eventually made a joke about something or other that he encountered along the way. Make fun of things or random people always helped him to relieve the tension and nervousness. But in the rest of the way, the silence always continued, and he was always with his eyes closed. "Maybe this is the new Max." She thought, assuming that fact to herself. "Maybe being a superhero is really changing who he is."
However, for everything in life there is a limit. And when that limit is reached, one hour the whole thing is prone to overflow.And an event, just an encounter with a person from his past, served as the last straw for Max:
"To wait. Max Thunderman hated a lot of things. But if he had to choose one thing that really drove him crazy, it was to leave him waiting . And wait for the police, was even worse, he didn't have good memories of the handcuffs and the noise of those sirens. However, this time he was on the other side of the bars. So, it might even be more fun.
Should have been just another exhausting night of patrol, where Max would accompany Phoebe reluctantly to some place and they had to watch until something interesting happened. But this time it had been different. They didn't have to wait for a target, there was already a target waiting for them: the Hero League notified that an invasion was happening at the Hidenville art museum.
When they got there, it was nothing out of the ordinary, just a hustler trying to vandalize the walls of the museum. So, wasn't a problem for the Thunder Twins to stop the criminal. And that was when the tedious part entered: as Phoebe waited for the arrival of the police outside, Max was responsible for watching the criminal.
Of course, they needed to disappear before the cops arrived. After all, no one in Hidenville, except Cherry, knew that the Thundermans still had their powers. So when they were sure the police were close enough, the twins could leave thr place leaving a little present ready for the trip, preferably for a trip to jail.
Walking from side to side, Max began muttering to himself why the police were taking so long. What was the difficulty of getting to the museum? The new superhero had already lost count of how many times he had seen those same paintings and those same sculptures. Even the Egyptian exposition session, where he let out a discreet laugh as he remembered when he, Phoebe, and Billy had invaded the museum to return the invaluable vase. Speaking of which, since he is a hero now, should he return the parchment that he stole that very night?
"No, bullshit" - Max thought with a shrug. - "Just a memory of super villain days."
Maximus interrupted his thoughts when Van Del, the criminal who had invaded the museum to vandalize him, also began to complain about the delay of the police:
"Come on, all the cops here are slow like that? It was better I stay in Swellville, at least the things are more exciting there. - The bandit grunted impatiently.
- If I were you, I'd wait quietly. - Max answered in a dry tone.
- And if I don't want to? I have my rights, you know.
- Yeah, I agree. Criminals have the right to remain silent. - The Thunder Boy replied, displaying a winning smile.
- Look at you, just one more super-hero who thinks it's funny. Are you new, or what? I don't remember crossing with you before, and I've already autographed most of them, literally.
- Well, look at him. It's not enough to be a chatterbox, is it deaf too? I told you to shut up!
- Wait, I know this voice from somewhere ... But from where? - Van Del frowned, trying to rummage through his memories in search of a particular voice, until he finally opened his eyes in clarification - No, it can't be! I can't believe, Max Thunderman? - The villain exclaimed in astonishment, the surprise evident in his voice.
- Is this an attempt to discover out who I am? Because it will not work. - Max replied defensively, still trying to maintain his convection.
- No, it's you, it's yourself! I would recognize this voice from the doormat of The Toddler in anywhere.
- Listen here, Van Del. If you don't shut your mouth now, I swear I'll ...
- Wait, how do you know my name? I don't remember introducing myself. Unless ... Oh, that's right! Must be because we met each other at that meeting!
- So, this is your game? Can you blame a superhero for knowing the villains he faces? - Hiding his face, Max still insisted on modifying his voice, though the tagger wasn't buying his apologies.
- Beauty, I've had enough of this game. I know who you are, and you know who I am, but that's not the problem. The problem is to see a traitor in front of my eyes, and trying to look fair! How could you, Max? How could you betray the dark side like that? Refuse the opportunity to dominate the world and become a super villain, to become a failed superhero? You're a shame for the Villain League!
- I don't have more bonds with the Villain League, I'm a super hero now.
- I know, and this is what makes me angry! You had potential, boy. You could have been someone. But apparently, Dark Mayhem was right.
- What do you mean? - Maximus required.
- How? Oh, it's true. You don't know!
- What you mean? - Again, Max demanded an answer, this time a little more impatient. - Come on, answer me, now!
- I thought you wanted me to keep quiet ... - Van Del replied in a tone of debauchery, having fun with the situation, until realizing that the ex-super villain was threatening to levitate him with his telekinesis - Alright, I say, I'll be the good guy. - Clever, the criminal gave in. - You can't imagine how much fun it is to see you torturing yourself. But I'll tell you what you want to know, in the name of your evil past: Dark Mayhem always knew you were a failure.
- Lie! - Max raged - Dark Mayhem and I worked side by side, we were partners. And who was defeated in the end? That's right, I defeated Dark Mayhem!
- No, your sister defeated Dark Mayhem, while you were weak! What a disappointment, Max. You literally had the opportunity to become a super villain. You just needed to catch the powers of Thunder Girl, but what did you do? You were weak. You're weak. You chose your sister, chose the family that depreciated you your whole life. You've wasted the opportunity to have an evil future! But looking from another angle, maybe it was better this way. Dark Mayhem knew that there were too much kindness in you to be a villain, he just needed you and the envy that you harbored from his sister, to capture the powers of the Thundermans with the orb. But you couldn't do that either. How do you feel knowing that you will never be good enough?
- Do you know what? I really don't care. I'm not a super villain anymore, just as I don't owe nothing to my evil past.
- Don't worry about it, the Villain League doesn't want to have anything related with your name either, and the vexation it brings... But don't fool yourself, boy. Do you really think you're a super hero now?
- I don't think, I'm sure.
- Well, you're wrong! You've never really been a villain, that's true. But you will never be a hero either, and you know why? Because you owe to your past, Max. More than you can imagine. Do you think you're going to redeem yourself with all the people you've ever disappointed, just because you're carrying that cape now? You're a fraud, Max Thunderman. Hero or villain, no matter what you try to be. You'll never be good enough. - Like a sharp shot against the boy's ego, the criminal distilled all his disgust against Max, pleased to note that his words had stunned him. However, before he had a chance to fight back, Phoebe arrived to tell him it was time to go:
- Max, we have to go, the police are coming. - Euphoric, the Thunder Girl screamed from the door, but decided to go into the museum when she realized her brother didn't seem to be listening to her. - Max? Max! - Phoebe called him again, this time closer. It was already possible to hear the sound of approaching sirens, so he was forced to hurry.
- You heard your sister, boy. It's time to go. Nice dreams, Maximus, if you can lay your head on the pillow and sleep in peace. - Van Del shouted his last words, loud enough that Max could hear him, until the twins had completely disappeared from his sight.
[...]
The next day had arrived, and with him, another night of patrol. However, different from other days, Max wasn't anxious about the patrol that night, neither about the others that would follow. He also wouldn't feel uncomfortable wearing his super costume again. His official suit, or the mission suit. Simply because Max Thunderman wasn't a superhero anymore. Or rather, according to everyone, he had never really been one.
"It's better to try and failed, than not try at all."
The Phoebe's words kept rolling in her mind. However, he was determined to keep his decision:
- I'm so sorry about that, Phoebe. But I tried. Ireally tried. And as was to be expected, I failed. They wanted me to fail. But I will not give them this taste anymore, because I will never fail again... - Max said his thoughts aloud, even though knowing he was alone in his lair. Colossus was in the yard practicing his pilates class, what was certainly something no one was willing to witness. So, that would be the perfect moment to tell his decision to Phoebe, although do this seemed to be harder than it was for him to come to a decision.
Sitting on the edge of the bed with his uniform on his lap, the now-ex-super-hero swayed his legs frantically, he was starting to get anxious again. To wait until a angry Phoebe come down in his lair because of his delay it seemed an eternity. But, at the same time, he appreciated the fact that she had not appeared yet. It was like an ambiguous hell where Max would finally have the opportunity to get rid of all his torment, but at the same time he would have to go through even a greater torment so that it could happen.
And as if the universe were and against him, but at the same time in his favor, his anguished waiting had finally come to an end when he heard his sister's footsteps coming down the stairs. Taking one last deep breath and gathering all the courage left, Max turned to face Phoebe, who came mumbling something inaudible to herself:
- Max, is it possible that you can never get ready at the right time? I'm getting tired of always having to come to pick you up to... Why aren't you dressed yet? - Intrigued, Phoebe halted her own quarrel.
- Phoebe, I can't do this anymore. - Not being able to wait, he spat the words in a single strand of voice.
- What? Wear the uniform? I know, it's starting to pinch me too. - The Thunder Girl squirmed herself to make her suit more comfortable, clearly showing her discomfort as well. - But relax, I already talked with dad. He said he will change the fabric soon.
- No, that's not it! I just can't do this anymore, Pheebs, I just can't ...
- Max, what are you talking about? - Even more irritated, Phoebe demanded an answer that at least made sense.
- I already said! I cant, I-I can't ... Do you understand me? I swear I tried, but I just can't go on with it this anymore ...
- Max, what's going on ?! You're starting to scare me ... - Drastically shifting her tone to a quieter but tense voice, she widened her eyes in anticipation of an answer. - I swear this is one more of your pranks, I'm going to end your ...
- I can't be a superhero anymore, Phoebe. - Max interrupted her words at once, leaving her sister stunned for a few seconds, until she finally processed the words she had just heard.
- What?! You are crazy? No Max, this is not happening. You've made a lot of progress as a super hero to give it all up now. I will not let you become a super villain another time, I'm not losing you to the dark side again. Can you hear me, Max? I will not let it! - Exasperated, Phoebe spoke louder and louder as she denied the situation that had just been presented to her. She knew this vicious cycle, and she definitely wasn't willing to go through it again.
- No, you don't understand! I'm not turning to the dark side, I told the truth when I said I didn't want to be a super villain anymore.
- So what the hell are you talking about? -
- I just can't be a superhero either, okay?! -
- And why can't you? Because it's boring? Because you can't master all the other heroes? I'm sorry, Max. But being a super hero isn't a joke, it requires discipline. It's not like you're making little pranks around, and waiting for someone to notice you, you really have to work to win your place ...
- You really don't understand, do you? - This time, it was his turn to scream, making Phoebe cringe herself involuntarily. - No, of course you don't understand ... You're Phoebe Thunderman, the Thunder Girl, the exemplary girl, the one who's good at everything, the favorite of mom and dad ... We're twins, but things have always been easier for you, Phoebe. You learned to master your powers first, took the highest grades in school, you even developed the Thunder Sense before me. All my life I've heard that I should be more like you. "Why can't Max be like Phoebe?" Don't think I didn't listen this just because they said it behind my back. But, you know what? They were right, I should be. But as hard as I tried, and again, I swear you that I tried, I would never be a match for you. I would never be as good as you, and much less, better. So, I decided to become a super villain, the greatest of them all, and the most evil the world had ever seen. But guess what? Look, what's new: Max Thunderman has failed again! - More than anger, even in a contained way, there was bitterness in her voice. Giving up a little before his initial fury, Max just sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall. Phoebe, in her turn, approached and took a seat beside him, though he still didn't look at her. - After so many years spent on the dark side, so many years accumulating evil deeds for my evil chronicles to impress Dark Mayhem, I had finally received the chance that I waited for so many years, the chance to become a real super villain. And for that, I just had to do one thing: take out your powers, and deliver them to Dark Mayhem as a proof of my loyalty. Then there's the part that you apparently didn't know: that day, when I was holding the orb while I was talking with Colosso in the yard, I wasn't going to take away your powers, Phoebe. I wouldn't dare do that to you.
- You would not? But, but ... I heard you and the Colosso talking about it, I heard you saying that you was thinking to take away my powers
- Yeah, Phoebe. And that's point. I was thinking to take away your powers, but that didn't mean I would do it!
- But apparently, you needed! Since I remember, you dreamed of being a super villain. And taking away the powers of someone you hate to finally achieve what you wanted so much, surely wouldn't be difficult for you.
- For God's sake, you still don't understand? I don't hate you, Phoebe. I never hated you. I just hate the way you're always better than me! - Screaming, Max looked at her briefly before staring back at the wall again, frustrating his own plan for no have eye contact. His eyes were wide and his pupils seemed to be shining. If Phoebe dind't know him so well, she'd risk to say what it seemed to be . - We were enemies at that thime, that's true. But you were still my sister, taking your powers off would end your life, and I couldn't do that. It was one thing to tease you every day, but in the end, we weren't mortal enemies.
- So you really wouldn't even take my powers away? - After a few moments of silence, Phoebe decided to go deeper into the subject.
- No, I wasn't. I might even be thinking about it, but in the end I knew I wouldn't be able to.
- And what would you tell to Dark Mayhem?
- I didn't know either, I was still thinking about the best ways I could become a super villain without sacrificing your powers. It was when you appeared, took the orb from me, and took away my powers without thinking twice...
- But Max, it was an accident! I swear I didn't want to! - She justified herself automatically. - Besides, how did you want me to react? Now I know you wouldn't take away my powers, but it was something I didn't know at that time.
- This doesn't matter! Because again, that's point. The biggest problem wasn't taking away my powers, I could retrieve them as soon as you gave me back the orb. But you didn't even give me the opportunity to explain myself, you didn't want to hear me, and still attacked me even knowing I didn't had my powers... At that moment, I still had doubts if it was really worth sacrificing my family in return to become a super villain. But I just felt hate. I felt so much hate for you in that moment, so much hate to be your shadow again, that from that moment I realized that we were mortal enemies, I had no more doubts that my destiny was to become a super villain. - Tightening his posture, like a cat when it gets with his hair bristling, Maximus gave up on his idea of no eye contact, and glared at his sister. The flame of hate he'd felt that day was starting to burn back inside him again, and that made him face her with confidence. - That's when I retrieved the orb, got my powers back, put on my evil suit, and went looking for you at the prom. The hate burned so hard inside me at that moment, it was like a fire that only grew and was consuming me gradually. But I felt good. I felt so good to know that finally you and everyone in this house would see me as someone, and come to respect me. It was when mom, dad, Billy, Nora, and Clhoe came into the living room trying to stop me of following you, but I didn't hear them. I took the powers of all of them, and froze all the exits, so they couldn't leave. And for the first time in life, at the top of those stairs, I saw the powerfull Thundermans totally defenseless, all of them having to lift their heads to look at me.. From that moment on, I knew that I couldn't go back, they would never forgive me...
- That's not true, Max. Mom and dad love you, they've always loved you, and they'll always love you. I'm sure they would never turn you down, even if you were a super villain.
- Oh, it's true... You don't know, do you?
- I don't know what?
- What dad told me before I leave.
- What did he say?
- He disowned me, Phoebe. But I don't blame him for that. He said that from the moment I walked out that door, I wouldn't be his son anymore. But I left, I had officially betrayed my family and been rejected by they. That meant that my moment had finally arrived. I was finally a super villain. - The Thunder Girl shuddered internally just by hearing those words. When Max followed her on the day of the prom, it didn't seem have any weight. For her, it was just like stopping another one of his pranks, and she'd done it before. But when she noticed the grudge in her brother's eyes and words, she realized that it was all real. She really almost lost her twin to the dark side. She had really fought against a super villain. - And as I had already been kicked out of home, and I certainly would be hunted by the Hero League, I had nothing to lose. All I needed to do was to steal your powers, and then, I would won. But in this part you know what happened, right? We were mortal enemies, I just needed to use the orb to stop being your shadow. But I was weak, I failed. I had the biggest and best opportunity in the world to destroy you, but again, I couldn't. I failed to be a super villain...
- Max, can't you see? You didn't fail, you just chose the right side! You did have the opportunity to take away my powers, and I know that a part of you wanted to do this a lot, but you didn't. And that is what matters. I understand why you have become a super villain, but that doesn't matter anymore. Now you're a superhero, and your evil past must remain in the past.
- No, no, no, Phoebe! You don't understand! I chose the right side, I know. But at that moment I was a super villain, and my duty was to have acted as one. I practically devoted my entire life to the dark side, but I didn't fulfill my ultimate goal.
- You didn't do it because you care about us. Because you care about your family and your friends.
- That was my mistake. A super villain can't hold on anything, can't care about someone other than himself. And how would I fight against my family one day, if I still cared? I mean, how could you and I be mortal enemies if I always let you get away? - He admitted sinuously, though his purpose was that it sounded like a hypothesis.
- So, would you spare me? - She asked in surprise at the statement.
- I, I don't know! Being a superhero or a super villain, our obligations must come first of all, including the family and others we care about, and you know it. The President Kickbutt created that fake mission against Evilman just to teach you that lesson. But at the same time, you never denounced me for my crimes, even in all the times I worked with the Villain League. And if you do something for me, good or bad, I also have to reciprocate. You know, this is the Max-Phoebe twins thing!
- You know, you don't know how relieved I am for not having to face you one day. I mean, not that I couldn't end you! - Phoebe exclaimed in her also typical convincing tone, causing Max to turn his eyes in response - But I also don't know if I would be ready to be your mortal enemie. What would be the fun if I couldn't always compete with you? - Again, he didn't respond verbally. But this time he nodded in agreement, letting out a small smile. - But like I said, Max, that doesn't matter anymore. You retired your cloak of super villain, and things should continue like this ...
- I know... It's just that a part of me only wanted that I had been a decent super villain.
- I can't believe I'm going to say that, but ... You surprised me. You were able to win the confidence of Dark Mayhem, I never thought I'd go that far.
- Dark Mayhem's confidence? It wasn't like that, Phoebe. This is something else you don't know...
- What don't I know this time? I've always been great at figuring things out ...
- Not all of them. One of the things you never knew is that Lord Mayhem never trusted me, he never gave me a chance. I mean, maybe at first. But the reality is that he just needed to use me to get what he wanted.
- How so?
- It's simple: Mayhem knew the anger I fed all these years for you, and he knew how much I hated always living in your shadow. So, he took advantage of my blind desire to defeat you just to get your powers.
- How do you know that?
- I... Damn. - Pressing his temple with one hand, Max thought of all the ways he could get away with it. But knowing the sister he had, none of them seemed to work. - I know for the same reasons that prove I can not be a superhero too.
- Oh no, no, no ... This idea again? Forget it, Max! You're a super hero, and no one can tell you otherwise.
- Actually, they can ...
- Again, what do you mean? You are being more enigmatic than normal, and that's not a good thing ...
- Okay, all right... - He took a deep breath before he began to speak. - Do you remember a few months ago, when you showed me your profile in the Hero League?
- Yes, why? Has your page also been released? - Excited, she asked. But, what she didn't know was that this wasn't a good thing.
- No, not exactly. But that same day I discovered that there was a profile of me on the page of the Heroe League, but it was private. So I used the father's login, and I was able to access all the information.
- The father's login? How did you get that? They always require a password before ... His password is also a hamburger, isn't it? - She arrived at the only possible answer, displaying all her skepticism.
- Bingo! - Max gestured, punching his fist in the air. - It was then that I discovered that they also had some information about me, like when I received my cape, when you and I were selected by Force Z, and so on, as yours page. But, there was a difference: instead of comments, I found some audio files, specifically some phone calls between President Kickbutt, and other Hero League members talking about me. Probably some group conference, or something like that.
- Talking about you? And, what did they say? - Curiosity, and fear. These were the only two sensations she could feel at the moment.
- Listen by yourself. - Taking his cell phone out of his pocket, and pulling his headphones telekinetically, Max handed the phone to Phoebe and indicated the files she was supposed to hear. But the most bizarre, maybe it was the fact that he had saved these files in his own cell phone. Although, he didn't want to hear those words out loud again.
"- But it doesn't matter! Honestly, Evelyn. I didn't think that, as you said, after so many years presiding over the Hero League, you made such a hasry decision. Give a cape for Max Thunderman? For years to receive a cape was a symbol that a hero received for his good work and his good behavior. But that boy? He isn't worthy, he shouldn't have received an honor like that."
"- What?! Was Max Thunderman selected for Force Z? This is a joke, isn't it? (...) - Phoebe, that's fine, she deserved it. In fact, it was all as it should be when only she had been selected. Big mistake, Directory. Big mistake."
"- All right, president Kickbutt. I understand that now Max Thunderman has decided to become a superhero. But you know what? I still don't trust him. Because one thing is certain: "a hero can even become a villain, but a former villain will never be a hero."
- Max, I-I... - After hearing all the audio files, Phoebe was bewildered, stumbling on her own words. She didn't know exactly what to say, though she strongly wanted to say something against it.
- You don't have to say anything, Phoebe. Because in reality you have nothing to say, this is the truth.
- No, this is not true!
- Yes, this is! - Like her, he was convinced too.
- But this doesn't mean you have to accept it! After all, you got your cape, and that's something that has no back.
- Yes, I received. But, what's the point of receiving something I don't deserve? You took years to get your cape, Pheebs. Years. And in my first heroic act, I get mine. Like the fact that I have been selected by the Z Force with you, being like you told me, I'm just an apprentice.
- Max, I swear you that I didn't mean it badly. I, I just wanted to focus on my place in Z Force. But I admit that I should not have done it, I rejected you when you needed me, and I'm so sorry for that. - Ashamed, and clearly regretful, The Thunder Girl sincerely apologized, he could feel it.
- You know, I was disappointed with you, but it doesn't mean that you were wrong. I'm still an apprentice, I know. But why couldn't I be valued too? I was struggling, I really was! And the only reason why I forged that Z Force cal,l was for the whole family to think I was a super hero as good as you.
- Please, stop talking like this was in the past. You're still a hero!
- Oh really? Because it seems that many superheroes think differently.
- Then that's it? Will you give up just because some people are underestimating you? This is your chance to prove otherwise, Max! Even when no one believed that you could be a super villain you did not give up, you kept going until you proved you were all wrong. Why would it be any different now?
- At least I felt good being a super villain ...
- Well, so that's why? Don't you feel good being a superhero?
- No, Pheebs. Isn't it. I never thought I would say it, but, I like to do good, I like to be good. I just ... - Again, he didn't really want to talk about it. - Can you just forget about it, and accept my decision? "
- I'm not leaving here until you tell me what's going on. - Determined, she refused to leave. His brother could even try to drive her away, but he also knew she would come back. With the lair sealed, or not. Besides, that wouldn't be an easy fight.
- Oh really? Because I saw announcing that it will pass "Teen Romance" part one and two today, and will be in 3D ... - Nice shot, Maximus.
- Seriously, what time? - With a temporary loss of focus, Phoebe was excited to hear about her favorite movie, but soon realized that it was just one more of her brother's tactics to escape the conversation - I mean, no chance, Max! I'm not leaving here until you tell me why you want to give up being a superhero. What's more, I have all the Teen Romance DVD's with Blu-Ray. She boasted, though he really didn't care about it.
- I just don't ... Okay, I'll use this word. I just don't "feel" good about having to deal with it all, specifically having to deal with my past, and with people who know about it. The Villain League, the Hero League, Hindenville. A-And these patrols, I just can't deal with them.
- The patrols? What's wrong with them? I thought it was your favorite part of the training.
- And is, getting on the field is always the best part of anything. But one hour or another, I may end up meeting some acquaintances, specifically some people from my past ...
- Kind?
- Super Villains.
- And what's the problem with that? They will not recognize you. Hidenville thinks we lost the powers, remember? Besides, we always go out in disguise, there's no way to recognize you. And even if they recognized, I know you could handle it. - Initially relaxed, Thunder Girl saw no depth in this kind of situation. However, it was only when she realized that Max has quickly looked away, concentrating on the ground as if he were distant there, that she noticed was something much more intense than she had imagined. - Unless some of them have already recognized you... - She concluded, uttering each word slowly.
- Last night, at the museum, I was recognized by Van Del.
- Van Del? This name is not strange to me ...
- That's because you know him. I mean, before yesterday. He was also at that meeting the day you, Captain Man and Kid Danger infiltrated each other like The Three Muchachos.
- So that's it, I knew he wasn't strange to me! But why does it bother you so much? He's just another criminal, his opinion doesn't matter.
- He said things, Phoebe. And, actually, it was through him that I knew that Dark Mayhem was just using me.
- That means he could be lying! He was probably angry that he was arrested, just it. People trapped usually shoot everywhere.
- I really wanted to believe that, Dwebbs. But I'm sure he wasn't lying.
- How can you know?
- Because as a former super-villain, I know villains often lie. But if there's one thing that super villains don't lie about, it's about what one villain thinks about another. Dark Mayhem used me, I'm sure that's true. But our conversation didn't spinned only around that, Van Del made a point of saying what he thought about me. And like I said, one super villain never lies in what he thinks about the other, even if it's for an ex-villain.
- What did he say?
- Nothing that the members of the Hero League haven't said: that I am nothing more than a fraud, that I will never be a real superhero, and, of course, that I will always owe my past more than I can imagine. Although, I'm already beginning to imagine the size of my debt that no matter what I do, I'll never be able to pay ... - Even worse than losing a fight, or even giving up fighting, is lose the faith. And at that moment, Max had not only lost the faith that people could see him differently someday. But also, he had already lost the faith in himself.
- You can't just get carried away by what people think, Max! What people think doesn't matter, when what they think isn't the truth. You are who you are. And who you are, isn't a fraud, because I believe in you. As well as I believe in the great superhero you will be.
- Even when everyone thinks the same thing? Including me? Because this isn't just their thinking, it's mine too! So, please, stop trying to convince me that I am a winner, that I am a "hero in search of redemption." I'm tired of living a lie, Phoebe. I'm tired of being a lie! Do you know how many times I blamed you for not being a super hero as good as you? Do you know how many times I've been swallowed up by the hate of living forever in your shadow? All my life I've been angry with you for being the favorite, and had anger of our parents for not even trying to disguise it. But I would never leave your shadow, because I am my own shadow! This isn't just what others think, it's about the fact that I can't take it anymore! I don't want to have to deal, with things I don't want to deal with anymore. I no longer want to have to deal with the fact that my heart seems like it will go out my mouth every single time when I have to talk to some member of the Hero League. I don't want have to feel nauseous with all the looks of people that I know they still judge me, or feel the cold sweat that causes me goosebumps when I have to answer all the same questions about my integrity. I no longer want to have to feel short of breath every time when we go out on a patrol to the point of being tormented by a damn vertigo that never seems to go away, just because I'm afraid to find someone else who can play in my face how much I'm a fraud! I don't want to be a hero anymore, I don't want to be a villain anymore, I don't want to be anything of that! I have failed, more than once, and I am already tired of always being weak. I don't want to have to think day and night in why I never get to prove myself, my worthy, because it makes me sick! I quit! Yes, I give up! I'm tired of trying and failing because I know I'll never be good enough! And the more ironic, is that maybe that's the only thing I'm really good at ... - Anger, pain, shame, anguish, remorse. At that moment, Max Thunderman couldn't deal with nothing of that anymore, all he wanted was to disappear from the face of the Earth, where no one could remember his existence, and the shame that all his deeds brought. His heart was beating so hard that he could swear that Phoebe could hear him too. Her vision was blurred, as if a thick fog was standing before his eyes.
Breathe, you need to breathe. Just Breathe.
His lungs were on fire. He was desperately pulling all the air he could, but he still couldn't breathe. All the oxygen seemed to have vanished from the atmosphere at that moment ... And as for his head, his ears whirred, like if a thousand needles were piercing his skull in an infinite looping. The boy didn't know what the hell was going on with him, it was as if all the symptoms that had been plaguing him in the last few months has surfaced all at once. All he knew was that the only sensation at that moment, was that he was going to die.
You're paralyzed,
You can't run away, you will die.
Max tried to reason, but his consciousness was fading.
Your throat is closing,
You can't breathe, you will die.
His mind kept screaming along with his body.
You can't see,
Can't talk,
Can't scream,
Because you're dying.
You will die.
Helpless, he was helpless. He just couldn't fight against it. The anxiety was crushing his chest, but he couldn't help himself, the desperation had already numbed his body.
You will die.
And at that moment, Max no longer cared who he was, or with whom was seeing him in that state, the panic had simply taken over him. He just held her face with his trembling hands, pressing his head as hard as he could, until a round of tears began to run down his face in a way that it was impossible to hide.
Yes, Max Thunderman was crying. Looking at her twin in disbelief, Phoebe couldn't remember the last time her brother had cried in her presence. When they were kids, maybe? Yeah, maybe yes. But that didn't matter. Of all the few times when Max had cried in Phoebe's presence, none of them had ever been like boy was trembling so violently that he could feel his suffering in the air.
Trying to stay strong, Phoebe tried to comfort her brother in a rational way, but she couldn't help herself either. Feeling her own eyes start to overflow, she approached of Max and instinctively pulled him into a hug, whose she wouldn't allow him to escape, no matter how hard he tried:
- You can resist how much you want, I will not let you go! - Unable to contain her own tears, Phoebe was hugging her brother as hard as she could, but careful to be gentle. Still reluctant, Max tried to pull away in every way he could find, but he was simply too exhausted to fight against a bit of comfort. Finally, the same gave way to the tiredness and rest his head on the shoulder of his twin sister. He fought to stifle his sobs as much as he could, he was already feeling miserable enough to seem even more vulnerable. But his body still shivered violently as the tears flowed freely across his face, it wasn't something he could avoid. This made Phoebe's heart break into small pieces with each passing minute. What kind of super heroine was she, if she couldn't save her own brother from feeling so much pain? - I-I'm sorry, Max. I should have known...
- No, it wasn't your fault. I've always been the best actor of the two of us. - After he had calmed down from his panic crisis, Max replied while breaking the hug, though his voice still sounded weak and vacillating. And as might be expected, besides swollen, his eyes were also red. So he definitely wasn't willing to face his sister at that moment, and probably not for the next few years.
- Are you alright? I mean, do you feel better now? - Still without reaction, Phoebe asked worried. The young super heroine had always been very good at comforting people. However, she had never imagined that one day she would have to console her twin brother, mainily for traumas as deep as his own. Nor did he imagine that one day she would need to be comforted by her. It was definitely a new experience for both of them. Especially considering the fact that if it was a few years ago, this kind of thing would never happen.
- I don't know, I ... It was very, very strange. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, I couldn't see anything. To be honest, I really felt like I was dying. I was sure I was going to die...
- But you will not, okay? I promise you that you will not die.
- I know, Pheebs. Relax, I'm fine now, though I'm really dead of shame... - Max mentally thanked the fact that aside from Phoebe, there was no one else in the house. If anyone else had listened their discussion, and witnessed his current state, the ex-super villain would have buried himself on his own.. - And technically, you can't promise that. Because one day I'm really going to die, so... - He teased, trying to ease the tension of the situation.
- No, Max, you're not fine. For God's sake, you just had a panic attack in front of me! - She didn't want to admit it. But deep down, she was in panic about what had happened as much as he. Not in the same proportions, and not for the same reasons, of course. - And by heaven, please, forgive me. I'm really sorry about that... - She excused herself one more time. And again, Max realized she was being honest, although he didn't blame her for it.
- I told you, Phoebe. You don't have to apologize, it wasn't your fault.
- No, it's serious! I spent so much time trying to promote myself, trying to be the best super hero of all, that I didn't think about how it might affect you. And to be honest, I didn't even know that my provocations could affect you like that. Because, you know, you're Max Thunderman. You really made me lose my mind so many times with your stupid pranks, but I always thought it was fun to compete with you. But I never imagined that directly or indirectly, I was making you feel bad this way during all those years...
- I'm serious too, Pheebs. And of course I also find it fun to compete with you. I just, I don't know... It would be too much to ask to win once in while? Is it too much to ask for be the best at least one time?! But as I said, it's not your fault that I'm a big loser ...
- You're not a failure, Max. I believe you, I believe in your potential, but you have to believe it too.
- If I'm not a loser, what would I be? As far as I know, winners don't cry over spilled milk.
- You don't need to be ashamed of your feelings, Max. You are literally one of the strongest and most stubborn people I know, although you haven't always used that stubbornness on the good side. In fact, I don't even know how you didnt explode before, it's a very heavy load to take on alone! You're a fighter. And unlike what you think, fighters also cry and bleed.
- Well, at least this time you didn't say that I was a superhero, it's progress.
- Progress? I'm not resigning myself to anything, because you will not give up!
- I have this right, Phoebe. I want to stop, I'm tired of all this vicious cycle.
- Yes, you have. But this isn't your duty. As a fighter, you must fight. Even when you was a villain, you never stopped fighting, no matter how much the life hit you. And now it's no different, as a super hero the life will keep hitting you, maybe even more. Maybe you will even fall. But that can't stop you from getting up, and fight another day.
- That's exactly why I'm tired, I'm tired of be beaten! So if I stop fight, then I will not have to fall any more.
- If you stop fight, you really will not fall anymore. But that will only be because you will already be on the ground. Now I know you want to stop because you don't consider yourself good enough to keep fighting. But the only reason to think this is because you think you have to be the best of them all. You don't need to be perfect, Max. You don't have to be invincible, you don't have always to come first. You just need to be persistent like you've always been, then the other things will come soon after.
- You know, it's easy for you to say that. I don't want to sound like a spiteful, but you know it's true.
- I'm not perfect, and you know that, too. I told you this the day you almost drowned in your own "citric acid." - She let out a restrained laugh. After all, no matter the situation, that would always be an inner joke that deserved to be mentioned. - And you know I gave up once too, when I created all that confusion in school because I didn't know how to use thunder sense. But our father was there to show me that I can't give up, however hardly a situation may seem. So, I also decided to get up, and keep fighting. By myself, and against crime. Besides, we both get literally the same kind of training. So if I can be beaten for life, so can you.
- Well, at this you're right. I am a majestic martial fighter. - Max exclaimed in a convinced tone, sounding briefly as his natural self.
- Did you see? You love to fight, and no one should stop doing what you love out of fear.
- I wouldn't say it's exactly fear, it's just ...
- I know, you're just tired of always losing your battles. - Phoebe interrupted him, completing his sentence in sympathy. - Look, just forget about the perfection, okay? I know you want to be the best superhero of all time, I want too. But you will not be the best, neither the worst, if you give up. And don't a nothing, and far worse than not being anything. Just, don't worry if they think you good enough in what you do, or not. Be good, that's enough. And when you least realize it, you'll be the best.
- Thank you, Phoebe. Just, thank you... They're all right about you, you really were born for it.
- No, I think I need to thank you. Thank you for that, Max. Really, thank you. - Unlike the previous times, she didn't apologize, just thanked him sincerely. Although, her brother really didn't understand why she might be grateful.
- For what? For wet your super suit with my magnificent tears?
- Oh, yes, there was definitely a lot of stuff in you. - She squeezed part of the fabric of her suit that was shoulder-length. No doubt, it was no exaggeration to say that it was literally soggy. - So thank you for, you know, letting me see you this way. Thank you for trusting me.
- We're a team, Pheebs. Literally. And though I want to thread my head into a hole now, and stay there for the next twenty years, if I can't trust you, I can't trust on anyone else. - No jokes, or pranks. Looking directly at his twin sister, Max showed his honesty, making probably one of the most unexpected statements of his life. And this time, it was Phoebe's turn to witness his sincerity, which made her smile broadly in a mixture of gratitude and disbelief. - Besides, I couldn't let anyone cool to see me like this. - The Thunder Girl rolled her eyes as usual. Of course he would have to ruin the moment. After all, if it were otherwise, it wouldn't be Max Thunderman.
- Just please, next time don't wait until you have a panic attack to tell me what's going on. You have no idea how desperate I was!
- Sure, I promise. - He lifted his right hand in an oath, puting his other hand over his heart. - But I really hope there is not a next time, certainly was much worse than the incident with the orange juice...
- So, this does that mean I still have my partner for Z Force?
- I-I don't know, Phoebe. I was serious when I said I can't do it anymore. I've already understood the importance of the never stop to fight, and I certainly don't care about have a double life, but, I don't know if I can be a fake superhero.
- But you're not a fake hero! Max, you helped the Hero League to arrest Dark Mayhem, risked his powers to save Hidenville, and now is one of the finalists of a legendary task force.
- Yeah, I did all that. But after exposing our powers to all, after betraying our family, almost taking away your powers, and making us all banished from Hidenville. Don't forgetting the fact that you lost your individual spot on Z Force after all this mess that, isn't a surpre to anyone, was my fault. Or have you forgotten all this?
- Well, no... - He didn't let her finish, interrupting her before he could finish the sentence.
- This is the point! People don't forget, Phoebe. They may even forget all the good things I've done, but they will never forget the bad things I've done to them. And in this last part I wasn't even a villain! Does this look like the behavior of a real superhero to you? I'll always have an evil past, and I'm not sure if a cape is enough to say I'll have a heroic future. I'm not joking when I say I'll never be good enough. - Conviction had always been something Maximus had in abundance. However, it wasn't always a good thing. Because when he was sure of something, it was hardly possible to make him change his mind
- I'm not joking when I say that you're not only a real superhero, but you're a great super hero. - Fortunately, Phoebe wasn't only convinced about what she believed, but also had a great power of persuasion. - Max, if there is one person who has been most tormented by you in this world, that person was certainly me! And yet I forgave you, because I always knew that deep down in your little heart full of black licorice and spider webs, you were a good person.
- Good people don't do so many bad things.
- And bad people don't admit they did those things.
- What you mean?
- I mean that bad people don't regret it, but you feel remorse for your past because you're a good person.
- Can we stop using the verb "feel"? We've used that word for a long time now, I don't want it to look like I'm a sensitive person. - Trying to hide his weaknesses, he was striving to demonstrate his usual coldness. However, his still miserable appearance prevented him from hiding his momentary fragility.
- It's okay. But don't think that you will escape this subject. Just listen to me, okay? Just because you have chosen not to be a super villain for the rest of your life, doesn't mean you have not been good enough. You were good enough to turn against Dark Mayhem, and defeat him in the end.
- You know I didn't do it alone, right?
- Max, if we were to discuss who really defeated Dark Mayhem, we'll have to admit that it was Chloe who defeated him. - Both agreed to a simultaneous shake of the head, the temporary exchange of powers was still a bizarre episode. - But now I say, that's not the point! A super hero knows that part of his life, or practically all of it, is to fight against his enemies. But we haven't always been able to defeat them the first time. And your past, Max, is your arch-enemy, so you have to fight against him. I know you think that you aren't good enough to fight and show everyone who doubts you that you really want to redeem yourself. But if you don't do you, you will only prove that others have won, and I know how much you hate to lose.
- No one has ever told me that seeking redemption would be so difficult. - Exhausted, he started to run their hands through their hair. His tuft was still wet, and it bothered him like hell.
- All the good things in life, are. - The Thuder Girl responded vehemently, almost in a immediately way.
- Okay, but I still don't know if I want to keep on the patrol. What if some another vilain of Villain League recognizes me? Now you know that these "strange things" happen to me, it's not like it's something I could avoid. And I definitely prefer to be a loser, than to appear weak! That's right, I still have my pride, and with pride!
- But you don't have to do it alone! Like you said, we're a team, and I promise I'll fight with you. Even when I'm literally fighting against you, I'll always be by your side. And if you like it that way, we can reverse: you wait for the police, and I watch the bad guys.
- Are you sure?
- Absolute. Because I know there's going to be an hour when yourself will insist that the villains recognize you, I'm sure of that.
- Thank you for not giving up on me, Pheebs. Even when you knew I didn't deserve it.
- I'll never give up on you, Max. Hero or villain, you're my brother. And the brothers are for life too. - And again, this was also an internal reference that should always be remembered.
- I just want to ask you something.
- What is?
- Just please, don't look at me in a different way just because I collapsed. If I'm going to be a superhero again, I don't want you to think I'm weak. I'm still the same, I think I'm just a little broken. Like when Alisson broke up with me, only that ten times worse, but not wanting to destroy Earth this time. Although, this time I didn't really make any effort to stop breathing the earth air... - It would be comical, if it was not tragic.
- You're a super hero, Max. I know you'll also overcome your anxiety and your panic attacks. But don't forget that super heroes sometimes also need help. So, when you need mine, I promise I'll be there.
- So, you think I can be a superhero as good as you?
- I'm sure both of us will be incredible.
- Sorry, Phoebe. But I'm already amazing, so you're late here. - Definitely, his typical convinced posture was back.
- And he's back! - She exclaimed, throwing her hands up. - But you know what? It's good to have you back. - Thunder Girl offered him a genuine smile.
- Yeah, it's good to be back. - The Thunder Boy returned with a grin. - Thunder bump?
- I have a better idea. - Phoebe replied, opening her arms.
- Oh no. No, no, no.
- Oh yeah, Thunder hug! - And though awkward, Max also returned the hug, something worthy to enter the guiness book.
- It's the second time we've broken the hug rule, just today.
- And we will not break it again for a long time. - Phoebe declared. After all, they were still Max and Phoebe, it was impossible for them to become a version 2.0 of Billy and Nora. Competing between them would always be more fun.
- I agree! - Max agreed, finally breaking the hug - So, the patrol is still stand up tomorrow night?
- You can bet!
- Good, I promise I'll be ready tomorrow... Well, I think you still have a patrol to do today.
- Tonight? No way! As you yourself said, my super suit is drenched with your "magnificent tears." - Although the fabric of the super suit wasn't so wet than before, the traces of dampness until could be perceived. - Well, our parents are only coming from Cousin Blobbin's house later, so I think we deserve another day off. I was thinking about ... Pizza night?
- Hmm, that sounds good. I can't remember the last time we had one of these.
- So, mozzarella, pepperoni, and margherita?
- Obvious, very peperone!
- Okay, so I'm just going to take off this suit and we can...
- Oh My God, what a horrible thing! - Horrified, Max shouted as he passed a mirror.
- What? What's it? - Scared, Phoebe involuntarily stepped into the defensive, taking on an attack stance.
- Look at me, I look awful! Or rather, don't look at me! Looks like I'm the last survivor of a zombie apocalypse!
- Come on, don't exaggerate ...
- You can go ahead, I need to fix my face.
- Max, it's ten o'clock night, no one else will see you.
- But I will, and I need to see me handsome!
- All right, I'm going to order the pizzas. Be ready in ten minutes.
- Fifteen minutes, Phoebe. Don't rush the beauty!
- Oh yes, and before I forget: I know you made lights in your hair. - The Thunder Girl declared before climbing the stairs, making her brother bow his eyebrows in surprise - That's right, you don't fool me! - Finally, she climbed the steps, feeling victorious.
[...]
That night, Max and Phoebe wouldn't have to worry about being superheroes. That night, even though he was fighting for something unimportant like two grumpy kids, the Thunder Twins, along with a remote control and some pizza boxes, were having fun like a normal family. Or as close as two Thudermans could be. And in the next night, Max would wear his super suit, and go with his sister to another patrol, just as he had promised to do.
However, the things weren't so simple. The problems of the ex-super villain wouldn't magically disappear. Even if they had diminished considerably, Max's anxiety crises still disturbed him with a certain frequency. Sometimes he would still feel his heart quicken only with the idea of being humiliated again. Sometimes, he would breathe hard when he had to face those who criticized him. Sometimes, he would spend the night awake, bothered by unsettling thoughts, and a damn headache that accompanied him in some crucial assessment for Z Force.
But on all these occasions, Max knew he wasn't alone. Whenever he wanted to escape, Phoebe would shake him by the shoulders, slap him in the face, (at his own request), and will remind him that Max Thunderman never escapes a fight. And again, Phoebe was right. And this time, he was glad she was right. That wouldn't last forever. And even if it lasted, even if the ghost of his past was his arch-enemy, Maximus was willing to fight him with all his might. Maybe this was his storm, but he knew that he would never be alone in the rain
But that night, Max wouldn't have to worry about his storm. Opening his eyes slowly, the Thunder Boy noticed that this was a different view of what he used to see upon waking. That wasn't his lair, he was still in the living room. He looked at the clock, it was three o'clock in the morning. Had he fallen asleep during a movie? Her suspicions materialize as he looked to the side and saw that Phoebe was also sleeping awkwardly at the other end of the couch. There were several boxes of pizzas between them, cans of soda on the floor, and the television seemed to be hibernating, probably because it had been too long on the main menu. Definitely, the twins had fallen asleep during the last movie. And definitively, they would have to eat many rice cakes to get back in shape for Z Force.
Resisting his desire to make a mustache on his sister with a pen, and especially of take a picture of it to torment her later, Max just used his telekinesis to pick up some blankets. After all, he wouldn't bother himself getting up to do this, if he could do this without any effort. So, he simply threw a blanket over himself, and another over Phoebe. Max would never admit it out loud even if he was being tortured, but he really was happy to have company that night. He was really glad to know that for the first time, he wasn't alone.
Snuggling back to his side of the couch, since he even had the courage to push away the pizza boxes, the (re)new(ed) super hero rested his head in peace. Recapping all the events of the days before, his mind was again focused on something that had plagued him so much last night: the conversation with Van Del. But for the first time, Max was happy to remember this, because he had finally the perfect answer:
- You know what, Van Del? Yes, I can lay my head on the pillow. And yes, I will have sweet dreams. Because now I'm sure, that I'm good enough to prove that you are wrong. - And after saying that to himself in a murmur, he finally gives in to sleep.