Konosuba: The Arc's blessings on this wonderful world

Disclaimer – I obviously don't own RWBY and Konosuba, they are property of R- Okay fuck it, you know who they belong too let's just get to the story

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Darkness

That's all Jaune Arc could see as he looked around in what seemed to be an endless void of literal nothingness as he was seated in a regular wooden chair, although there was no discernible source of light, he could clearly see the floor was black and white marble arranged like a chessboard

The blonde kept looking around for any way out of this void but to no surprise he only saw an endless black void that seemed to wrap around the area of light, making up his mind Jaune decided that the best way to get any answers was to walk into the void and see if he could find anything of importance

"Jaune Arc, welcome to the afterlife" before Jaune could act upon his suggestion he heard the voice of a young woman. She casually appeared out of the darkness, unconcerned by the bizarreness of this place and elegantly walked past him to sit on a chair opposite of the blonde knight, somehow, he failed to notice the other chair- it was made of white wood with a velvet cushion, and was high-backed. Something that Weiss would probably buy to remind everyone else that she's loaded with Lien

The young woman sat on the chair like she was a young Empress – youthful arrogance, yet still elegant enough to show her nobility. She had creamy white skin, her hair was soft blue just like her eyes, this was extremely rare on Remnant, to the point where even silver eyed people would be easier to find than them

"Moments ago, you died. Your life was short yet fulfilling by your own terms, however it doesn't change the fact that you are in fact dead" All of this was weighing down on Jaune, mostly because he still had no Idea what was going on, he was dead right? Then why isn't he in heaven? Why can't he remember his own death?

Wait, nevermind his memories are slowly coming back to him…

It was a regular day in Beacon academy, the students were eating lunch cheerfully, the trees were glistening in the sunlight, the birds were chirping and Jaune Arc was currently cheering like no tomorrow!

Why is it that he's cheering, well it's because he finally beat his bully Cardin Winchester by using the power of asspulls! Yet he didn't care because he was celebrating until he dropped dead! He danced in the cafeteria, he danced on Professor Port's desk, he danced all over Ozpin's spilled coffee, he bitch slapped Weiss and danced away like a badass, he danced in his dorm room, and he had a heart attack in front of his team!

And just like that he regrets getting his memories back

"Are my teammates alright?" The woman's face softened a bit as she looked at Jaune "Your teammates are alright, but right now there are in a bit of a bind" What did she mean by that

"You see, shortly after your death Beacon academy was attacked by a horde of the creatures you call Grimm, effectively destroying it and costing the lives of many civilians and students, but your team made it out safely" the woman explained, this relieved Jaune, but before he could ask any more questions the woman started to laugh loudly and somewhat mockingly

"S-sorry it's just in all of my time doing this I've never seen someone die in such a dumb way!" She let out even more laughter which fueled Jaune's anger but he kept it to himself

"You were so overjoyed that you managed to give yourself a heart attack! The funniest part of it all was how much you wet yourself, even the headmaster laughed at your death as they carried you to the hospital! The only ones who didn't laugh were your family and even then, they were also struggling to hold it in!"

"Stop it! Stopstopitstopitstopitstpitstopit!" Jaune shouted repeatedly, covering his ears so he couldn't hear any more details of his embarrassing death

"Well, I've vented enough stress for today. My name is Aqua, I'm a goddess who guides humans that die young to the afterlife. You have two choices, you can start from square one by being reincarnated back into Remnant but after seeing how much that world sucks I wouldn't recommend it, your second option is to go to heaven and live peacefully like an old man" she stated, Jaune already knew that reincarnation was out of the picture, he would not go back to that hell hole especially now since it's gotten even worse because of the Grimm invasion and the fall of Beacon and heaven sounded way to boring for his tastes. Before he could say anything Aqua beat him to the punch

"So, do you like videogames?" this caught the blonde knight off guard

"O-of course!" he said

"Well… There is a third option that you will surely accept!"

"Could you hurry it up a little? I still need to guide other human souls to the afterlife, you know" Aqua lazily said as she munched on a potato chip, she gazed lazily at the Arc who was looking at various pieces of paper that had descriptions of things such as weapons, armor, and various abilities that could pretty much get the writer sued

"This isn't as easy as it looks! There's so many things I can choose! It's not like I can grab one of these in a few seconds. I need time!" Jaune was getting agitated as the goddess kept telling him to hurry up, he tried to tune her out but that plan failed

"Oh? What's this?" Jaune picked up a piece of paper that had two bold words on it

-Crocea Mors-

A sword used by the Arc family for generations in bloody wars that have helped change Remnant for the better... its true power can only be unlocked by someone worthy of its power, other than that it's just a regular indestructible sword

Note: Shield not included

'Well you know what they say, don't fix what's not broken… Wait is that even the ri-' before Jaune could finish his thought Aqua spoke up

"Oh, so you're choosing that one? I got to say I'm not surprised no one else bothered choosing it, probably because of the whole "worthy" shtick it was talking about" Aqua said as she stood and stretched a bit before continuing.

"Well, it doesn't matter now" Aqua grabbed the paper in Jaune's hand and the sheet burst into light as it separated into small fragments before reforming into the sword we all know and love, the sword hovered to Jaune which he gladly took.

"So, now what?" He asked the goddess, but instead of receiving an answer a blue runic circle appeared under his feet, which startled him but otherwise did not move from his spot

"Now, it is time to send you on your grand adventure to defeat the Demon King! Oh, and before I forget, this bag is filled with gold, the currency of the world your heading" Jaune scratched the back of his head while chuckling nervously as he grabbed the small brown pouch

"I pray for your safety and success to finally slay the demon king, and if you fail… Well I guess I'll see you a second time!" Aqua cheerfully said as she saw Jaune floating upwards

"… on second thought I take it back! Send me to heaven!" Jaune screamed as he banged on the invisible wall that was preventing him from leaving the magic circle

"Sorry, but you already chose your path, all I can do is- Eh?" The goddess looked down to see the same blue magic circle appeared under her feet as well

"H-hey what's going on, why am I being taken?!" Aqua was floating besides Jaune flailing her arms around as she tried to get her feet back onto the marbled floor to no avail

"Goddess Aqua" A voice that came from the black void, the voice had deep compassion yet somehow managed to sound stern "You have sent many humans to fight against the devil king yet none have succeeded, so as a decree from the pantheon you shall accompany this brave adventurer in his journey to defeat the demon king" the voice now revealed to be a beautiful angel, bowed apologetically as aqua flailed her body even more

"This isn't fair! I may be a goddess but I can only use healing magic! This must be illegal! There's no way the others would boot me out like that! right!?" Jaune could only give a deadpanned look at the pitiful state Aqua was in

'Is she really a goddess?' was all he could ask himself before his train of thought was interrupted by Aqua's high pitched screaming

"I'm afraid so, it was a unanimous decision" Jaune could only flinch at the angel's declaration "Do not fret, when the Demon King is defeated I shall bring someone to escort you back" this still didn't stop Aqua from screaming incoherent curses

"Farewell brave hero! I pray that you will be the one to defeat the Demon King. If you do so, we shall grant any wish as thanks from the gods themselves!" The angel declared as she spread her wings and raised her arms majestically

"really?!"

"You stole my line! That was supposed to be me!" Aqua cried out

"Now go complete your quest!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"H-hey stop pulling my pants down! Seriously they'll fall off!" those were the last words said before a blinding light engulfed them and seemingly everything else in there as well (Except the angel)

Loading the next segment, please wait… Complete!

Once again, the blonde knight was shrouded in darkness… Until he realized he had his eyes closed and opened them immediately but the light overwhelmed him so he squinted his eyes until they adjusted to the light.

Once his eyes adjusted, he could finally see the beauty of this new world, the kids all playing happily chasing each other with wooden sticks, adventurers of all shapes and sizes mingling with each other probably speaking about their wonderful adventures, the townspeople going about their business merrily…. And then there's Aqua who was crying

"W-why me?" she managed to choke out as she bawled even louder than before, Jaune had never really dealt with girls before, except for his seven sisters, her mother, Pyrrha, Nora… Yeah…. He just sucks at talking to women no matter how exposed he is to them *Cough* Yang *cough* *cough*

He placed his hand on Aqua's shoulder "H-hey Aqua-" said goddess suddenly grabbed Jaune's collar and began to scream unintelligibly

-Pause-

Press start to continue

'What the hell?! Why is she so strong! I get that she's a goddess but still!' Jaune having enough of Aqua's temper tantum he pried her arms off his collar

"C'mon, we should go before we attract any unwanted attention Aqua" Jaune grabbed her hand and dragged her along with surprisingly almost no amount of resistance, then again… She is in a deep state of depression for basically getting kicked out of her own home.

'If this world is anything like an RPG then there should be a guild around here…'

"Hey Aqua do you know if there are any guilds around here?" Jaune asked Aqua because she's obviously an omniscient being so she should know this location like the back of her hand

"Just because I'm a goddess doesn't mean I have to know all the insignificant details about this world" she said casually

'How is she even a goddess?!' Eventually after asking for directions at some nearby market Jaune and Aqua found their way towards the Adventurer's guild building.

"This seems to be the right place, Aqua are you ready to start our quest to beat the demon king!" Jaune was obviously trying to pump up Aqua which was quite effective

"Heck yeah! The faster we slay the foul demon king the faster I can go back home and make the other gods regret kicking me out! Lead the way Jaune!" maybe a bit too effective, but with that out of the way Jaune opened the doors of the building and was greeted with the sight of female bartenders working around the clock, bringing food and drinks to the adventurers inside, a light blonde bartender approached Jaune and Aqua

"Welcome to the adventurer's guild, if you're here to eat please take any open seat, if you need job guidance then head to the counter inside"

"Ah, thank you miss" With that said, Jaune and Aqua walked further inside the guild until someone called out to them

"Hey kid! Haven't seen your face around these parts, and what's with that bizarre clothing?" A man that's obviously an adventurer judging by his muscly frame, mohawk and moustache beard called them out, Jaune like the nerd he is managed to come up with a fake story on the spot

"W-well we actually came from a village really far away called Remnant, it was overrun by monsters a few weeks prior so we came here to become adventurers and fight against the demon king" Luckily the adventurer believed him and let out a hearty laugh

"A good ol' story of revenge? Well you've just arrived at the gates of hell! If you're lookin' for the guild admission desk, its over there" the adventurer pointed his thumb behind them and true to his word it was at the end of a giant hallway with a statue of a knight.

"Hey, how did you come up with a story like that on the spot?" Aqua asked, Jaune stopped and turned around to face Aqua

"Well, it kind of came naturally to me, besides this isn't the only time I lied to people… A-anyway we should hurry up and register with a guild, then after that we'll go find a place to stay the night in" Jaune said as he once again turned around and started walking with Aqua following closely behind

"you're really a capable guy, that begs the question, why were you so useless in Remnant? Is it because you spent most of your time trying to woo that crabby snow girl… What was her name again… Whis?" Jaune's mouth twitched in anger before turning around

"Her name is Weiss, and can you please never bring her up again" Jaune demanded as he walked faster, eventually arriving to the guild admission desk where a tall, busty young woman with fair skin. She has wavy blonde hair tied back in a bun and gold-colored eyes. Her outfit consists of a red ribbon worn around her neck, a white crop top with black shoulders and sleeve cuffs, low-rise jean shorts, and short brown boots. Usually Jaune would've had a nose bleed right on the spot and faint because of his teenage hormones but Yang's teasing has really buffed up his mental defenses when talking to girls

"Hello. What can I do for you today?" the blonde woman asked

"We'd like to become adventurers" Jaune replied

"I see, in that case, you'll first need to pay the registration fee"

"Sure, is this enough?" Jaune put four gold coins (I think the name of the currency was Eris but I'm too lazy to search it up now) on the desk which the woman gladly took

"Yes, this is enough to cover your registration fee" the woman left her post and a few seconds later walked up to a blue sphere, it was held up by several parallel circles of intricate clockwork, under the orb was a series of lenses that reminded Jaune of a laser ray

"Adventurers are split into several occupations" she then held up a card the size of a credit card "This is your registration card, it will keep track of numerous things, like how many quests you have completed, creatures you have eliminated as well as your personal stats and abilities" Jaune already knew this but payed attention anyways

"As your level increases you will be able to learn skills, if you have any questions please feel free to ask" Jaune of course knew these things so he didn't say anything

"Now then, please place your hand on this crystal" Jaune turned to Aqua and gestured her to go first, Aqua blinked and pointed to herself before realizing that he did indeed gestured her to go first so she proceeded to put her hand on the crystal. The crystal lit up as the metal pieces surrounding it began to click and turn stiffly, a thousand small lights formed inside the crystal and began drifting down to the bottom of the crystal orb where it then began go through the lenses until they began to compact into a narrow beam of light that began to trace all over the small card in seemingly random directions.

"With this we will learn your status, which will update itself as you improve" Luna (I got tired of calling her the woman) explained as she retrieved the card and looked at its content "Please choose your desired occupation based on- What?!" She exclaimed as she once again looked over the card to make sure she didn't make a mistake.

"B-besides the abnormally low Intelligence and Luck all of your stats are drastically above average" This seemed to turn the "Aqua's pride" switch on

"R-Really? So, does that mean I'm really good?" She asked in a hopeful voice

"T-That's a complete understatement! The mage class requires a high amount of intelligence which you sorely lack so it is unavailable, but other than that you are free to choose any advanced class!" This intrigued the other adventurers as a crowd was slowly forming around them

"Crusader, Swordmaster, Archpriest, nearly all advanced classes are available for you to choose" Aqua had a blush and waved bashfully as she heard the compliments being thrown around by the adventurers.

"Too bad there isn't a goddess class then" This almost made Jaune have a heart attack

'Idiot!' luckily for the boy's heart the adventurers thought of it as boasting and nothing else

"In that case I'll be an Archpriest so I can heal my allies!" She stated proudly

"An Archpriest! An almighty class that commands all recovery and support magic, and simultaneously have enough strength to fight in the front lines when the need presents itself!" Of course, the crowd burst into cheers, adventurers already asking her to be in their groups and such, some even going as far as to pray for Jaune so his partner doesn't outshine him.

But with Aqua taken care of it was his turn and he honestly didn't expect much from it since he wasn't competent to begin with, boy was he wrong

"This is unbelievable!" The woman once again exclaimed in surprise, equally if not a little bit louder than the first time, this of course piqued the crowds interest even more

"All of your stats are fairly average but your defense is simply unmatched by any other adventurer, you could be pummeled to oblivion by an entire army of high leveled monsters and the most damage you would receive would be a few cuts and bruises, your intelligence is also high enough for you to use the mage class as well and your agility is enough for you to be a thief, but I highly recommend you pick a defensive class!" Before Jaune could choose his desired class, the crowd burst into cheers again with Aqua included for obvious reasons, Jaune was in short terms the "indestructible wall" that could probably take on one of Megumin's explosions and live to tell the tale and the fact that Aqua chose the be an Archpriest basically made them an unstoppable force of nature.

"I choose theAdventurerclass" the crowd became eerily silent

"P-pardon?" Luna was confused, why would this young man choose one of the most handicapped classes available?

"I thought you heard me the first time? I want to use the adventurer class" Jaune repeated himself like it was the most casual thing to say to a person

"B-but that would be a sure waste of your stats" Jaune simply scratched the back of his head and spoke up

"It really isn't, although the requirements are really low and the skills will be more expensive than if I were to take a specialized class, this doesn't change the fact that the adventurer class is capable of learning skills from every class, it can also equip any desired weapon that would be inaccessible to other classes and you can also experiment to create a hybrid class of your choosing like a Tank thief or a healing assassin…" This lecture went on for an hour and the adventurers surrounding Jaune and Aqua listened intently to every word that came out of the blonde knight's mouth and to say they learned from the lecture was an understatement, by the time Jaune had finished his speech everyone viewed him as a scholar! Eventually the crowd dispersed and the two fledgling adventurers ordered some food to fill themselves.

"Hey, can I see your card?" Jaune asked Aqua who was currently gushing in ecstasy from the cheese cake, once she finished having her little foodgasm she gave Jaune her adventures card and Jaune did the same.

'… Her intelligence is lower than Zwei! And he's a dog for Oum's sakes! And her luck is horrendous! I know I've repeated this several times but, is she an actual goddess or is this just an elaborate prank?!' Jaune's common sense is the only thing that's keeping him from losing his sanity… Then again common sense is basically non-existent in this world.

"Well now that we have become adventurers, all we have to do now is to train ourselves so we can confront the demon king!" the journey will be hard, unbearable, filled with sadness and with overwhelming joy and many more hardships that these pair of adventurers have to endure.

"Let's get wasted!" Unfortunately, that tale will be told at another time, but what is this? A crimson eyed girl has appeared from the shadows…




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AN: I'm finally done! Well folks this is it the first chapter of Konosuba: The Arc's blessing on this wonderful world first off, although the first chapter is basically the first episode of Konosuba except Kazuma is replaced with Jaune, however I will plan to be a bit more original once the cavalcade of fuck ups unite.

why did I give Jaune such a ridiculous amount of defense (I don't think they used defense as a stat so I just inserted it, by the time I release this chapter I'll be binge watching the anime and try to read the light novel… Which I'll have trouble finding online since I'm a retard when it comes to light novels)

Pity, but it's not like it is going matter anyways since Jaune will be subjected to the same Konosuba stupidity we all know and love

P.S. I asked KegiSpringfield to make covers for both Arctama and Konosuba: The Arc's blessing on this wonderful world, so hopefully he accepts… Also, I used to support the Lancaster ship but when I found Kegi's art I switched to Knightshade…. Goddamn Chinese new year's Blake…!

A-Anyways see ya next chapter!