Summary: Rumor has it in the precinct that when Akechi was taken by the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, he was passed around like a toy, ifyouknowwhatImean.

Note: I have no excuses.

Also, thanks for foxxybliss for the idea of what happens to Akechi at the end.

(read to find out ;3)

Warnings: Probably Not What You Actually Expect (Because I'm Mean Just Like That And Love To Mislead People), Implied Sin, Brief Mention Of The DSN DLC Costume (You KNOW The One).

Disclaimer: Don't own P5.

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The precinct was abuzz. It made sense if one would consider that the police's prodigy detective had finally returned from his days of captivity with the notorious group known as the Phantom Thieves of Hearts.

But that wasn't all. Oh, no.

Given that Akechi had spent days in the hold of the Phantom Thieves, a period during which no one knew what happened, the police officers and other detectives found it an entertaining pastime to try to figure out what could have happened to Akechi from observing him.

"He's limping!" An officer hissed.

"He is?" Her friend asked, craning his head subtly to sneak a peek, "I don't see anything."

"He's hiding it very well, but it's still noticeable if you watch him get immersed in work and forget that he needed to hide it."

A third officer piped up, "He can't seem to sit properly either. It's like his butt hurts him or something."

Silence.

"You… you don't think…" The first officer trailed off.

The second officer whipped his head around to stare at them, "Just now, he was rubbing his jaw and you got to see this!"

The officers turned to stare at Akechi again and noticed the little smear of make up under his jaw that was messed just enough they could see purple-colored skin peek from underneath it.

The third officer whispered, "He's also wearing more concealer under his eyes than usual."

"Someone kept him awake, I see." The second officer looked thoughtful.

The three officers exchanged looks.

"You don't really think the Phantom Thieves did that, do you?"

Silence.

The three stewed on their thoughts in silence.

"Nah."

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(It should be noted that they loved to gossip.)

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Goro slammed the door to Leblanc open with more force than he usually exhibited and stomped inside, almost immediately regretting the action when it caused pain to shoot up his leg to his backside.

"I hate you," Goro grumbled, "You and every single one of your merry band of thieves."

Akira gasped dramatically, letting a hand fly to his chest in mock-hurt, "You hate me? Oh, woe is me. Whatever shall I do with my life now if my sweet beloved doesn't love me anymore?"

"Oh, shut up." Goro sighed as he gingerly sat down on one of the chairs, hissing as the position caused his rear end to hurt, "You 'kidnapped' me from work so that I could spend 'quality time' with you all but all I got out of it was missing a lot of sleep due to consecutive movie marathons that lasted until the mornings, falling down some stairs, and being miraculously hit hard with a Frisbee in my neck right under my jaw! Right under my jaw! How did that happen?"

"Haru is still practicing her aim." Akira didn't even look apologetic.

"Practicing her aim! Her arm strength is enough to let her throws be deadly why does she need aim on top of that? Do you want her to be even more deadly?! Wait- don't answer that."

Akira chuckled and put a cup of coffee in front of Akechi, "You weren't this salty about it in the morning. What changed?"

"What changed?!" Goro almost snarled, "The officers at the precinct have a good eye for details but unfortunately not any skills for investigating, deducing, or keeping their mouths shut! There are rumors running around the precinct that when I was taken, you lot passed me around like a toy! And you know what they mean by that!"

Akira hummed thoughtfully as he stared at Goro through half-lidded eyes, "You want us to make that a reality? I know I'll gladly offer my assistance, dear Taneti-san."

Goro's eyes widened and he blushed, "Don't you dare!"

"Aw! And here I thought I could take out my cop outfit and whip so that I can whip you, tie you down, and then ride you like there is no tomorrow."

A shiver ran down Goro's spine and his skin tingled with the warmth that flooded him at the mental image Akira's words invoked.

Akira leaned forward with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, "That wasn't a no."

Goro sniffed and tried to recompose himself, with partial success, as his eyes betrayed his interest with the way he was staring speculatively at Akira, "Let me think about it."

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Akechi Goro was a not-so-simple man, with not-so-simple tastes, one of those tastes included letting Akira have his way in the bedroom from time to time. Needless to say, he truly had a legitimate reason for his barely concealed limp the next day.

And if anyone else saw and speculated? Well, it wasn't something they hadn't gossiped about before anyway.

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End